1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,468
- Good morning.
- Whoo!
2
00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:06,637
Swiss family ron-binson-
that hat is dope.
3
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,271
Thanks, tom.
4
00:00:08,339 --> 00:00:11,141
You mind if I rock that
bad larry on my dome?
5
00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:12,523
Wear it, on my head?
6
00:00:12,591 --> 00:00:15,437
Try it on the ladies?
7
00:00:15,505 --> 00:00:16,669
Be my guest.
8
00:00:16,736 --> 00:00:21,235
Hi. I'm tom. I have a
raccoon on my head.
9
00:00:21,303 --> 00:00:22,670
Uh...
10
00:00:22,737 --> 00:00:24,937
Excuse me, my friend over here
was digging through your trash,
11
00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:26,205
And I think we may
have a lot in common.
12
00:00:26,273 --> 00:00:28,508
I'm tom. Would you like
to see a movie sometime?
13
00:00:28,576 --> 00:00:31,039
Are you a raccoon?
14
00:00:31,107 --> 00:00:33,737
Because you've been running
around my hat all da--
15
00:00:33,805 --> 00:00:35,773
Head all day.
16
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,809
Girl, you're more
precious than precious.
17
00:00:37,877 --> 00:00:39,445
Uh-uh.
18
00:00:39,512 --> 00:00:42,080
Nice hat. Want to bone?
19
00:00:42,148 --> 00:00:43,682
That's you talking to me.
20
00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:44,916
No.
21
00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:47,084
How about...
22
00:00:47,152 --> 00:00:50,620
"yes, I am a hunter,
and it's you season"?
23
00:00:50,687 --> 00:00:52,121
Whoa!
24
00:00:52,189 --> 00:00:54,223
That's great.
I got to get back out there.
25
00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:55,323
You know what they say--
26
00:00:55,391 --> 00:00:57,024
Animal on the head,
27
00:00:57,092 --> 00:00:58,192
Manimal in the bed.
28
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,360
Damn, girl, your hotness
killed my raccoon.
29
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,763
I have a raccoon hat.
I'm an interesting person.
30
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,865
Hello.
31
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,466
Any luck?
32
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:08,700
No.
33
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,202
Didn't work out as well
as I thought it would.
34
00:01:10,269 --> 00:01:12,803
Well, better luck next time.
35
00:01:12,871 --> 00:01:14,371
I tried. It just didn't seem like--
36
00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:15,706
Wow, I love that hat.
37
00:01:15,773 --> 00:01:17,540
Thank you, ma'am.
38
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:33,792
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:40,838 --> 00:01:43,008
Hey, ron, I have a
surprise for you.
40
00:01:43,076 --> 00:01:45,243
Meet me at harvey
james park at 11:30.
41
00:01:45,311 --> 00:01:47,111
- Why?
- It's a surprise.
42
00:01:47,179 --> 00:01:48,411
What's the surprise?
43
00:01:48,479 --> 00:01:49,879
If I told you,
it would ruin the surprise.
44
00:01:49,947 --> 00:01:51,214
What's the surprise it would ruin?
45
00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:52,215
I cannot tell you that.
46
00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:53,750
Leslie, my first wife, tammy,
47
00:01:53,818 --> 00:01:55,818
Tried throwing me a
surprise birthday party.
48
00:01:55,886 --> 00:01:58,087
When I saw my friends
hiding through the window,
49
00:01:58,155 --> 00:02:00,022
I drove to a gas station,
called the cops,
50
00:02:00,090 --> 00:02:02,224
And told them people had
broken into my home.
51
00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:04,760
Not big on surprises.
52
00:02:04,827 --> 00:02:06,294
Okay, but you're
gonna like this one.
53
00:02:06,362 --> 00:02:07,629
- What is it?
- I'm not telling you.
54
00:02:07,696 --> 00:02:11,698
And I'm not gonna tell anybody.
55
00:02:11,766 --> 00:02:12,866
Okay, I'll tell you.
56
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:13,866
We're putting together
57
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,767
The parks department
summer catalog,
58
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:19,637
And the big surprise is
I am going to reunite
59
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:23,040
All the living, former parks
directors at a picnic,
60
00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:24,241
Record the whole thing,
61
00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:27,043
And then write about it
in the welcome letter.
62
00:02:27,111 --> 00:02:29,311
It's the biggest
catalog of the year.
63
00:02:29,379 --> 00:02:32,047
Think of the September
issue of vogue,
64
00:02:32,115 --> 00:02:33,948
But it's more important to pawnee,
65
00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:36,049
Mainly because we don't
get vogue here.
66
00:02:36,116 --> 00:02:39,584
I'm gonna move this yearning
ad to the centerfold.
67
00:02:39,651 --> 00:02:41,518
Centerfold? Always the best part.
68
00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:43,152
Am I right, justin?
69
00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:45,220
Damn. You broke up six weeks ago.
70
00:02:45,288 --> 00:02:47,555
Yeah. Jerry, I need to see
your softball pictures.
71
00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:49,423
Here you go, chief.
72
00:02:49,491 --> 00:02:51,358
Wow. Good job. Nice work.
73
00:02:51,425 --> 00:02:53,691
Wait a minute.
Isn't that that creepy guy?
74
00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:56,594
Morgan, the pedophile?
75
00:02:56,661 --> 00:02:57,795
Yeah, it is.
76
00:02:59,298 --> 00:03:01,566
Come on, I didn't know that.
He seemed okay.
77
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,301
We had dinner together.
78
00:03:04,369 --> 00:03:05,702
Guys, I don't know
if I made it clear,
79
00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:07,203
But I don't want any sex offenders
80
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,771
In our parks catalog.
81
00:03:08,838 --> 00:03:10,239
Okay, I will photoshop his face.
82
00:03:10,307 --> 00:03:12,508
Can you photoshop your life
with better decisions, jerry?
83
00:03:12,576 --> 00:03:13,676
Okay, April, enough.
84
00:03:13,743 --> 00:03:15,510
Cover photo-- tom, you're up.
85
00:03:15,578 --> 00:03:16,812
This catalog
86
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,680
Is basically like an ad
for the parks department,
87
00:03:18,748 --> 00:03:20,682
And I love ads.
88
00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:23,184
I love magazine ads
for flavored vodkas,
89
00:03:23,252 --> 00:03:25,086
Billboards for designer jeans.
90
00:03:25,153 --> 00:03:27,655
I tivo through shows
to get to the ads.
91
00:03:27,722 --> 00:03:29,856
I love ads.
92
00:03:29,924 --> 00:03:32,324
What are we trying to
do with this catalog?
93
00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:35,126
We're trying to sell pawnee
on our summer classes.
94
00:03:35,194 --> 00:03:36,361
How do we do that?
95
00:03:36,429 --> 00:03:39,531
With one perfect,
captivating image.
96
00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:40,765
April.
97
00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:42,200
Modern life.
98
00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:43,767
Where are we running?
99
00:03:43,835 --> 00:03:47,538
Sometimes what we want is
not always where we are.
100
00:03:47,605 --> 00:03:48,972
Next slide.
101
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,540
Are we alone?
102
00:03:50,608 --> 00:03:53,176
Is the real winter
inside our hearts?
103
00:03:53,244 --> 00:03:55,545
We're all struggling for definition
104
00:03:55,613 --> 00:03:57,614
In a world that
resists our inquiries.
105
00:03:57,681 --> 00:03:59,482
Okay, this isn't gonna work
for a number of reasons.
106
00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:00,983
One-- this is a summer catalog,
107
00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:03,351
Two--that was complete gibberish,
108
00:04:03,419 --> 00:04:05,486
And three--that child
looks like it's abandoned,
109
00:04:05,553 --> 00:04:07,987
So basically, boo.
110
00:04:08,055 --> 00:04:10,356
Next slide.
111
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:11,690
Oh, god.
112
00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:14,026
Weird. How did that...?
113
00:04:14,093 --> 00:04:15,994
Um, that's a personal photo.
114
00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:17,895
That's--
115
00:04:17,963 --> 00:04:19,397
Shouldn't be-- it must've...
116
00:04:19,464 --> 00:04:20,665
You know, I got to say,
117
00:04:20,732 --> 00:04:23,233
I think that could actually
work as our cover photo.
118
00:04:23,301 --> 00:04:24,468
I'm cool with it if you guys are.
119
00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:25,669
It's a high-res photo.
120
00:04:25,736 --> 00:04:27,170
I don't know if I have
time for this, guys,
121
00:04:27,237 --> 00:04:28,504
So let's just pick
a good photo, okay?
122
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,739
What do you want, leslie?
123
00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,240
A picture of parents
pushing a kid on a swing?
124
00:04:31,308 --> 00:04:33,342
Yeah, exactly. Get me that.
125
00:04:34,811 --> 00:04:36,644
Okay, I got to go.
126
00:04:36,712 --> 00:04:39,680
What is he thinking?
127
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,515
"why is my cup so tiny?"
128
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,620
Hey. What are you doing here?
129
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,955
Happy six-month anniversary.
130
00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:51,489
I got you a gift.
131
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,024
Uh, it's a chicken-salad sandwich.
132
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,693
And I don't want you to feel bad
about not getting me anything,
133
00:04:55,761 --> 00:04:56,827
Because I never exp--
134
00:04:56,895 --> 00:04:59,196
Swiss army watch, mofo.
135
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:01,731
Well done, perkins.
136
00:05:01,799 --> 00:05:03,333
Wow. - You like it?
137
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,969
Thank you so much. It's so nice.
138
00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:08,470
Are you-- are you
allowed to kiss me
139
00:05:08,538 --> 00:05:09,971
In a--in a hospital room?
140
00:05:10,039 --> 00:05:11,940
Oh, don't worry about it.
He's dead.
141
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,341
Oh, my god.
142
00:05:13,409 --> 00:05:15,209
Oh, no, I'm just kidding.
He's sleeping.
143
00:05:15,277 --> 00:05:16,277
Oh, okay.
144
00:05:16,345 --> 00:05:18,278
Yeah, our relationship
is going well,
145
00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:20,313
Really well.
146
00:05:20,381 --> 00:05:22,948
That guy really seemed dead.
147
00:05:25,049 --> 00:05:26,951
Nice!
148
00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:28,553
Here, catch this.
149
00:05:30,521 --> 00:05:31,987
You got me in the face.
150
00:05:32,055 --> 00:05:33,888
Oh. That one hurt.
151
00:05:33,955 --> 00:05:35,155
You have a good arm.
152
00:05:35,223 --> 00:05:36,823
I know. I used to play
softball in high school.
153
00:05:36,891 --> 00:05:38,525
Shut up. I played
baseball in high school.
154
00:05:38,592 --> 00:05:39,892
Shut up.
155
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,694
Yeah, that's, like,
the boy version of softball.
156
00:05:41,761 --> 00:05:43,228
Guys, don't play
with the food, okay?
157
00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:44,395
We need this for the picnic.
158
00:05:44,463 --> 00:05:45,730
We have everything? - Yes, ma'am.
159
00:05:45,798 --> 00:05:47,899
Three picnic baskets,
assorted cheeses, grapes, wine.
160
00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:50,268
Smoked salmon?
161
00:05:50,335 --> 00:05:53,570
April threw the smoked
salmon on the roof.
162
00:05:53,638 --> 00:05:54,904
I'm sorry.
163
00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:56,171
Where's leslie?
164
00:05:56,239 --> 00:05:57,839
She just texted me from your phone
165
00:05:57,907 --> 00:05:59,307
And said she left her phone at home
166
00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:01,142
And that I should
come here immediately,
167
00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:02,776
And why did I believe that?
168
00:06:02,843 --> 00:06:04,777
Maybe in your heart,
you knew it was from me,
169
00:06:04,845 --> 00:06:06,412
But you came anyway.
170
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,613
Nope.
171
00:06:07,681 --> 00:06:09,714
Tom, would you please
stop texting me
172
00:06:09,781 --> 00:06:11,515
That you're having a
city-planning emergency.
173
00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:13,451
There's no such thing as a
city-planning emergency.
174
00:06:13,518 --> 00:06:14,452
- Hi, there.
- Hi.
175
00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:15,553
Look at you two.
176
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,121
Ann perkins, mark brendanawicz.
177
00:06:18,189 --> 00:06:19,689
Ann-danawicz...
178
00:06:19,757 --> 00:06:21,457
Or merkins.
179
00:06:21,525 --> 00:06:22,925
No, ann-danawicz.
180
00:06:22,993 --> 00:06:24,160
You two should be models--
181
00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:25,661
Maybe on the cover
182
00:06:25,729 --> 00:06:28,630
Of the parks department
summer catalog?
183
00:06:28,698 --> 00:06:31,032
That's not the reason you
called me in here, right?
184
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,633
'cause I just finished
a 12-hour shift.
185
00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:33,868
If that's the reason--
186
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,637
Come on, ann. It'd be a
huge favor for leslie.
187
00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:37,039
You know how important
this is to her.
188
00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,307
- Well, I am in.
- Dude.
189
00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:39,308
I am.
190
00:06:39,376 --> 00:06:41,443
We don't have any pictures
191
00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:43,145
Of just the two of us.
192
00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:44,646
Plus, I've always said
193
00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:46,648
We should go on
more dates with tom.
194
00:06:46,716 --> 00:06:48,283
Yeah, you have,
195
00:06:48,351 --> 00:06:50,319
And thank god an opportunity
presented itself.
196
00:06:50,386 --> 00:06:51,520
See, win-win.
197
00:06:51,588 --> 00:06:52,856
Now, ann, you're
gonna change, right?
198
00:06:52,923 --> 00:06:54,457
I g--I guess.
199
00:06:54,525 --> 00:06:56,691
And would it kill you to
maybe put on some lipstick?
200
00:06:56,758 --> 00:06:57,991
Do you even own lipstick?
201
00:06:58,058 --> 00:06:59,926
This is probably the
first time in history
202
00:06:59,993 --> 00:07:02,060
These four great men have
been in the same place
203
00:07:02,128 --> 00:07:03,095
At the same time.
204
00:07:03,162 --> 00:07:04,830
It kind of makes you--
205
00:07:06,232 --> 00:07:07,165
What is this?
206
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:10,134
Sweater swap. She noticed.
You were right.
207
00:07:10,202 --> 00:07:11,335
Oh, my god. Somebody's here.
208
00:07:11,403 --> 00:07:12,869
Okay, guys,
just act normal, please.
209
00:07:12,937 --> 00:07:14,070
Just be like normal people.
210
00:07:14,138 --> 00:07:16,272
Hello. Hi, david moser.
211
00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:17,273
I'm leslie knope.
212
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:18,707
It is such an honor to meet you.
213
00:07:18,775 --> 00:07:21,610
Right. How long is this gonna take?
214
00:07:21,678 --> 00:07:23,044
Oh, not very long.
215
00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:25,446
I-I realize, of course,
you're a very busy man.
216
00:07:25,514 --> 00:07:27,047
I love parks.
217
00:07:27,115 --> 00:07:29,283
I don't know if that's something
I've communicated before.
218
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,684
So having a picnic
219
00:07:30,752 --> 00:07:33,654
With all the former,
living parks department directors--
220
00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:36,555
Guess who just checked
something off her bucket list.
221
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,857
Clarence carrington, david moser,
222
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,293
Michael tansley, ron swanson--
223
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,328
Gathered together
on a beautiful day
224
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,695
In this beautiful park.
225
00:07:44,763 --> 00:07:46,163
I think we should
just take a moment
226
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:48,830
And appreciate how lucky we are.
227
00:07:48,898 --> 00:07:50,565
I thought you were dead, clarence.
228
00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:53,967
No, I'm gonna outlive you,
then I'm gonna nail your wife.
229
00:07:54,035 --> 00:07:55,068
Screw you, you old coot.
230
00:07:55,136 --> 00:07:57,070
Classic david.
You're worse than ron.
231
00:07:57,138 --> 00:07:58,871
Shut your damn mouth, tansley.
232
00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:01,574
Okay, great, let's go.
233
00:08:01,642 --> 00:08:03,944
When I say "parks,
" you say "department."
234
00:08:04,011 --> 00:08:05,579
Parks.
235
00:08:05,646 --> 00:08:06,747
Parks.
236
00:08:06,814 --> 00:08:08,048
Apartment!
237
00:08:10,039 --> 00:08:12,473
Oh, boy, this is taking a lot
longer than I thought it would.
238
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:14,808
Can you guys run up ahead
and set up the picnic?
239
00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:16,643
Sure.
240
00:08:16,711 --> 00:08:18,211
Where are they going with the food?
241
00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:20,480
I'm starving.
I only had one breakfast.
242
00:08:20,548 --> 00:08:21,615
Okay, relax.
243
00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:23,216
Look, what was going on back there?
244
00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:24,451
Why all the sniping?
245
00:08:24,519 --> 00:08:25,952
I'm not exactly sure.
246
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,252
The only one I know is michael,
247
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,220
And we're not exactly best friends.
248
00:08:29,288 --> 00:08:30,722
I'm hungry.
249
00:08:30,789 --> 00:08:32,591
Okay, well, don't be such a baby.
250
00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:34,994
I cooked you some bacon
for a trail snack.
251
00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:36,328
I ate it already.
252
00:08:36,396 --> 00:08:37,329
What?
253
00:08:37,396 --> 00:08:38,530
I could smell it in your purse
254
00:08:38,598 --> 00:08:39,597
Before I even parked my car.
255
00:08:39,665 --> 00:08:40,632
And now it's gone,
256
00:08:40,699 --> 00:08:43,134
And I hate everything.
257
00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:46,603
Good, good, good.
258
00:08:46,671 --> 00:08:48,038
All right.
259
00:08:48,106 --> 00:08:50,941
I think we got the boring,
cliched shot that leslie wanted.
260
00:08:51,009 --> 00:08:52,008
That's it? We're done?
261
00:08:52,076 --> 00:08:53,742
Not even close.
262
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:57,178
Now the real art begins.
263
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,612
Step one-- nail this photo shoot
264
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,747
With an amazing, iconic image.
265
00:09:01,815 --> 00:09:03,649
Step two-- book some outside gigs.
266
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,118
Step three-- have sex with a model.
267
00:09:06,186 --> 00:09:09,956
Step four--step in front of
the camera, become a model.
268
00:09:11,892 --> 00:09:14,126
Go, yes. Keep slithering,
keep slithering!
269
00:09:15,695 --> 00:09:18,529
Ann, can you give me something,
anything in the face?
270
00:09:18,597 --> 00:09:19,763
What do you want me to do?
271
00:09:19,831 --> 00:09:21,398
Do what mark's doing.
He's doing great.
272
00:09:21,466 --> 00:09:22,466
Keep slithering!
273
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:25,470
I'm not doing anything, so...
274
00:09:25,538 --> 00:09:28,273
Okay, clarence, um,
why don't you describe
275
00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:30,541
The first summer pawnee catalog?
276
00:09:30,609 --> 00:09:32,509
Oh, I remember.
277
00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:35,445
That first year,
we offered four classes.
278
00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:37,313
I actually taught homemaking.
279
00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:40,082
Women were not allowed
to teach back then.
280
00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:41,450
Really?
281
00:09:41,518 --> 00:09:43,184
I thought there were female
teachers way before then.
282
00:09:43,252 --> 00:09:46,486
Not my department.
283
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,721
Well, times have changed.
284
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:51,156
I'm--I'm deputy director now,
but I'm hoping someday
285
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,792
To be the first female
director of the department.
286
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,361
Oh, I don't think
that's a good idea.
287
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,163
Women, uh, need a lot of blood
288
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,432
To--to flow through to-
-to the baby cents,
289
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,968
Which leaves less to
the brain, you see.
290
00:10:05,036 --> 00:10:06,769
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sure.
291
00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:09,071
I'd stay away from
leadership roles,
292
00:10:09,138 --> 00:10:13,173
Uh, for your own safety.
293
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,407
No! No!
294
00:10:15,809 --> 00:10:17,510
Hey, maybe I should write
a song about a picnic.
295
00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:20,446
Ooh, where'd you come
up with that idea?
296
00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:21,847
The picnic we're having.
297
00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:24,316
I already have the perfect title.
298
00:10:24,384 --> 00:10:25,617
"life is a picnic."
299
00:10:25,685 --> 00:10:26,985
That's good.
300
00:10:27,053 --> 00:10:30,855
How about "life is a
picnic...With you"?
301
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,721
Whoa. Then it could
be about a girl...
302
00:10:33,788 --> 00:10:35,755
Or peyton manning.
303
00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:38,022
Hmm. You want to help
me write thlyrics?
304
00:10:38,089 --> 00:10:40,557
Yeah, totally.
305
00:10:40,624 --> 00:10:43,793
We should grab a drink
after this at tucker's.
306
00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:46,194
Yeah, I would do that.
That sounds fun.
307
00:10:46,262 --> 00:10:48,797
I just have to, um,
get my stuff from the office.
308
00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:52,433
But that's-- that would be cool
309
00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:53,867
David, what was it exactly
310
00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:55,936
That called you to
the parks department?
311
00:10:56,004 --> 00:10:58,170
Well, I was in public
works for eight years,
312
00:10:58,238 --> 00:10:59,905
But the director was pretty young.
313
00:10:59,973 --> 00:11:03,075
Clarence was old and weak,
314
00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:05,143
So I put in for a transfer,
swooped ,
315
00:11:05,211 --> 00:11:07,379
And pushed him out.
316
00:11:09,381 --> 00:11:11,816
Uh, there was no other
reason you wanted the job?
317
00:11:11,884 --> 00:11:14,619
No, just the money and the pension.
318
00:11:14,687 --> 00:11:17,253
The actual job's a nightmare.
319
00:11:17,321 --> 00:11:20,856
I mean, who gives a
crap about thisrap?
320
00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:27,566
Well, david, I think
we've talked enough.
321
00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:30,135
Mark, that's great. Bobby, great.
322
00:11:30,202 --> 00:11:31,502
Ann, you look miserable!
323
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:33,270
Terrible, terrible!
324
00:11:33,337 --> 00:11:35,305
Come on, ann, what are we doing?
325
00:11:35,372 --> 00:11:36,973
Maxim or good housekeeping?
326
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,041
I'm not sure which
one is the insult.
327
00:11:39,109 --> 00:11:40,176
Hey, if there's anyone out there
328
00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:41,443
That's doing a photo shoot
329
00:11:41,511 --> 00:11:43,012
About the dangers of
eating undercooked chicken,
330
00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:45,280
I can give you ann's phone number.
331
00:11:45,348 --> 00:11:47,216
Okay, let's stop for a second.
332
00:11:47,283 --> 00:11:49,217
Bobby, I love how you work.
333
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:50,384
Yay.
334
00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:51,919
You can have as many
juice boxes as you want.
335
00:11:51,987 --> 00:11:54,088
In fact, grab me one too.
Make it an apple.
336
00:11:54,156 --> 00:11:57,591
Mark, great job.
You can have a juice box too.
337
00:11:57,659 --> 00:11:59,626
Ann, take a walk with me.
338
00:11:59,694 --> 00:12:01,128
In a million years, I never thought
339
00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:03,263
You would be the problem
with this photo shoot.
340
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,732
Didn't you just plan this,
like, two hours ago?
341
00:12:05,799 --> 00:12:07,400
I just don't get it.
342
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:09,902
How could someone so hot
be so bad at looking hot?
343
00:12:09,969 --> 00:12:12,169
I'm sorry I'm not a
professional model.
344
00:12:12,237 --> 00:12:14,971
And screaming "make your
face better" doesn't help.
345
00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:17,140
Well, I'm sorry.
Your face just isn't working.
346
00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:18,173
And we need to do mething
347
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:20,107
To distract from this ring area.
348
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,173
Now, I didn't want
to have to do this,
349
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,474
But we may have to go nude.
350
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,476
- Good-bye, tom.
- Fair enough.
351
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,578
I totally understand,
but we should get one for safety.
352
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,312
Okay, guys, we're almost there.
353
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,480
It's right up here.
354
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:30,982
You really shouldn't be leading us.
355
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,985
If you're menstruating,
you'll attract bears.
356
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,487
Holy god.
357
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:36,654
Okay.
358
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,823
Here we are. -
359
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,992
Eat.
360
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,827
Well, it hasn't gone
exactly as I'd hoped,
361
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,329
But, um, I got them all here,
362
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:46,997
And we're gonna have
a beautiful picnic.
363
00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:48,665
It's gonna-- it's gonna be good.
364
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,500
Hey!
365
00:12:50,568 --> 00:12:53,169
I just whizzed on a butterfly.
366
00:12:56,241 --> 00:12:58,509
Well, gentlemen, as you know,
I'm working on my welcome letter
367
00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:00,144
For the summer catalog.
368
00:13:00,211 --> 00:13:01,778
You should just copy
the eagleton one.
369
00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:03,446
I used to just copy
the eagleton one.
370
00:13:03,514 --> 00:13:04,880
Did you?
371
00:13:04,948 --> 00:13:06,782
I was hoping that maybe you
could talk to me a little bit
372
00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:08,950
About how the department has
changed since you ran it.
373
00:13:09,018 --> 00:13:10,786
Well, I think you've
done a wonderful job
374
00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,387
Maintaining the parks.
375
00:13:12,455 --> 00:13:13,788
Thank you, michael.
I appreciate that.
376
00:13:13,856 --> 00:13:15,322
Did you enjoy your
turn at the helm?
377
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:16,490
Oh, in a way.
378
00:13:16,558 --> 00:13:17,959
Um, pencil-pushing
wasn't really my thing,
379
00:13:18,026 --> 00:13:19,627
But I did love the
parks themselves.
380
00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:21,394
That was the best part of the job.
381
00:13:21,462 --> 00:13:22,628
Oh, isn't it? I totally agree.
382
00:13:22,696 --> 00:13:24,796
Well, thank goodness for you.
383
00:13:24,864 --> 00:13:27,465
Yes, thank goodness for michael.
384
00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:29,201
Are you still on parole,
by the way?
385
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,971
Oh, ha ha, very funny, ron.
386
00:13:32,038 --> 00:13:33,839
- Y-y-yes, ron, I am.
- What?
387
00:13:33,907 --> 00:13:35,806
He smoked pot in the office
388
00:13:35,874 --> 00:13:37,974
And in all the parks constantly.
389
00:13:38,042 --> 00:13:39,975
In fairness to me,
it was a different time.
390
00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:43,212
It was the early '90s,
but also it's ridiculous
391
00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:44,713
That marijuana is illegal.
392
00:13:44,781 --> 00:13:47,515
Thomas jefferson grew hemp.
393
00:13:47,583 --> 00:13:50,650
Alcohol is legal, but pot isn't?
394
00:13:51,919 --> 00:13:53,251
That makes sense to you, ron?
395
00:13:53,319 --> 00:13:55,086
I'm sorry. I can't hear hippies.
396
00:13:57,656 --> 00:13:59,424
So if you had to sleep
with one of the old guys,
397
00:13:59,492 --> 00:14:00,925
Who would it be?
398
00:14:00,993 --> 00:14:02,260
The super old one.
399
00:14:02,328 --> 00:14:03,695
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
400
00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:05,930
I'm an eyebrow girl.
401
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:08,065
I want to make out with him
and chew his eyebrows off.
402
00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:10,268
that is...
403
00:14:10,336 --> 00:14:11,836
Really gross.
404
00:14:11,904 --> 00:14:13,572
Anybody got any water?
405
00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:15,607
"oh, I want water. I'm so old.
406
00:14:15,674 --> 00:14:17,108
I need to drink water.
" - oh, stop it.
407
00:14:17,175 --> 00:14:18,875
Stop taunting him.
408
00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:20,576
I don't need your help, jailbird.
409
00:14:20,644 --> 00:14:22,778
If there's any unclaimed
meat or cheese,
410
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,245
I would like to claim it.
411
00:14:24,313 --> 00:14:25,580
Yeah, like you claimed my job?
412
00:14:25,648 --> 00:14:26,715
Yes, exactly like that,
413
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,249
In that I wanted it,
and then I took it.
414
00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:29,617
Okay, guys, you know
what I would love?
415
00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:31,954
I'd love if anybody just
said something positive
416
00:14:32,022 --> 00:14:34,057
About--oh, I don't know-- anything.
417
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,127
I agree. Let's just relax,
smoke another "j,"
418
00:14:36,195 --> 00:14:37,695
And all calm down.
419
00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:39,063
Another?
420
00:14:39,131 --> 00:14:41,298
By the way, it's ridiculous
that pot is illegal.
421
00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:43,933
- Oh.
- It grows...
422
00:14:44,001 --> 00:14:45,168
In the ground.
423
00:14:45,236 --> 00:14:47,137
I've planted marijuana
in community gardens
424
00:14:47,204 --> 00:14:49,237
All over the city,
and it hasn't hurt anyone.
425
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,638
- What?
- You know, michael,
426
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:51,906
You are one pot-loving
427
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,941
Motherpain in the rectum.
428
00:14:54,009 --> 00:14:55,241
Okay, stop it. Stop it.
429
00:14:55,309 --> 00:14:57,142
You're all being awful,
horrible men.
430
00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:58,143
Uh-oh.
431
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,077
Your little friend come to visit?
432
00:15:01,145 --> 00:15:02,745
Clarence, if you mention
433
00:15:02,813 --> 00:15:05,879
Anything about women
or menstruation
434
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,912
Or anything, I'm gonna
take your face,
435
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:09,613
And I'm gonna shove
it in those brambles.
436
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,147
- Yes.
- No, you're next, buddy.
437
00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,148
Andy! Let's take this picture.
438
00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:14,583
Come on, get out of
your seat, turds.
439
00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:15,884
- What?
- Line up over there.
440
00:15:15,952 --> 00:15:17,987
Come on. Just please
try to look human,
441
00:15:18,054 --> 00:15:19,755
All right, and not so evil.
442
00:15:19,823 --> 00:15:20,890
Everybody, looky here.
443
00:15:20,957 --> 00:15:22,624
One, two, three-- thank you so much
444
00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:23,659
For the wonderful memories.
445
00:15:23,726 --> 00:15:24,960
Everybody take their stuff and go.
446
00:15:25,027 --> 00:15:28,296
Ooh, ooh, can we do
one funny-face one?
447
00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:30,757
Do you have that
picture that andy took?
448
00:15:30,824 --> 00:15:32,057
Maybe I'll run it without any text.
449
00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:33,491
Yeah.
450
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,559
I tried to photoshop it to make
it look like they were happy.
451
00:15:36,627 --> 00:15:39,227
It was really hard.
Their mouths are just so old.
452
00:15:39,295 --> 00:15:41,461
God, look at these horrible men.
453
00:15:41,528 --> 00:15:44,129
You know, I don't even know
if I want them in my catalog.
454
00:15:44,197 --> 00:15:45,496
Would you like...
455
00:15:45,564 --> 00:15:46,931
These men in your catalog?
456
00:15:46,999 --> 00:15:48,999
Oh, my god, April.
That's disgusting.
457
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:51,401
What? Look how generous
they're being with each other.
458
00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:53,002
And here's the obstruction series.
459
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:55,173
What do you think? Amazing, right?
460
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,442
I call this one "the future."
461
00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:59,778
It's completely blurry.
462
00:15:59,846 --> 00:16:03,582
Yes, it is, ann.
463
00:16:03,649 --> 00:16:05,950
What about the ones we took
on the swing--the normal ones?
464
00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:09,854
You mean the "unhappy wife" photos?
465
00:16:09,921 --> 00:16:12,455
Oh, my god. These are
even worse somehow.
466
00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,558
I look miserable.
467
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,259
You do look kind of miserable.
468
00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:18,295
Now you know what I meant by,
"make your face better."
469
00:16:18,362 --> 00:16:20,329
Was there something wrong, ann? I--
470
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,165
Well, I'd just gotten
off a long shift.
471
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,867
He was being really annoying.
472
00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:25,901
Mark looks happy.
473
00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:27,069
Ugh. Just--
474
00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:29,404
Please don't use these, okay?
475
00:16:29,471 --> 00:16:30,971
Let's grab some dinner.
476
00:16:31,039 --> 00:16:34,406
Sure.
477
00:16:34,473 --> 00:16:36,174
Hey, ron, you want me to read you
478
00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:37,741
What I have so far
in my welcome letter?
479
00:16:37,809 --> 00:16:38,876
Nothing...
480
00:16:38,943 --> 00:16:40,544
Because you and your
jerk predecessors
481
00:16:40,611 --> 00:16:42,578
Didn't give me
anything to work with.
482
00:16:42,646 --> 00:16:44,147
Did you...
483
00:16:44,214 --> 00:16:45,314
Print this out?
484
00:16:45,382 --> 00:16:47,316
I heard the printer going. - Yes.
485
00:16:47,384 --> 00:16:49,486
You could've just handed
me a blank piece of paper.
486
00:16:49,554 --> 00:16:51,556
Oh, wisdom-- finally.
487
00:16:51,623 --> 00:16:52,891
Thank you so much.
488
00:16:52,958 --> 00:16:56,160
You can also keep the photo.
Thanks for the memories.
489
00:16:56,228 --> 00:16:57,194
Good god.
490
00:16:57,262 --> 00:16:58,328
I don't remember this.
491
00:16:58,396 --> 00:17:00,163
That-- that's the wrong one.
492
00:17:00,231 --> 00:17:02,364
But the real one's
very bad as well.
493
00:17:02,432 --> 00:17:04,032
I want you to know
that I'm replacing
494
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,500
The welcome letter with this ad
495
00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:07,202
For yearning by dennis feinstein.
496
00:17:07,269 --> 00:17:10,169
So good-bye, distilled wisdom
of 50 years of experience.
497
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,270
Hello, disgusting fragrance flap.
498
00:17:12,338 --> 00:17:14,771
- Let me buy you dinner.
- No.
499
00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:16,872
I insist you buy me dinner.
500
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:19,508
Get a drink or whatever. It's cool.
501
00:17:19,576 --> 00:17:20,843
- I.D.?
- I'm 24.
502
00:17:20,911 --> 00:17:22,845
No, you're not.
503
00:17:22,913 --> 00:17:25,949
- Okay, I'm 25-
- no old jokes, please.
504
00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:27,017
I.D.
505
00:17:34,757 --> 00:17:36,124
It says right here you're 20.
506
00:17:36,191 --> 00:17:37,524
Seriously?
507
00:17:37,592 --> 00:17:40,293
You're not even gonna
show me a fake?
508
00:17:40,362 --> 00:17:43,532
Sometimes the confidence
confuses people.
509
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,634
- You're good, bro.
- You know what?
510
00:17:45,701 --> 00:17:46,968
I think I'll just--
511
00:17:47,036 --> 00:17:48,303
I'm gonna-- - um, hey...
512
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:51,139
Um, I know another bar that
always lets--lets me in,
513
00:17:51,207 --> 00:17:53,374
If you just want to go there,
514
00:17:53,442 --> 00:17:55,809
If you want to go do that.
Uh, yeah, actually...
515
00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:56,876
I should be going home.
516
00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:58,643
I got a lot of stuff to do,
517
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,010
So I should go home...
518
00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,645
Clean and stuff.
519
00:18:02,713 --> 00:18:04,313
But...
520
00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:07,149
Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, I got to...
521
00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:08,917
Go home too, so...
522
00:18:08,985 --> 00:18:10,985
All right.
523
00:18:11,053 --> 00:18:12,920
See ya.
524
00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:15,389
Later.
525
00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:18,925
The usual, marta.
526
00:18:18,993 --> 00:18:20,059
Me too, marta.
527
00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:22,194
- You got it.
- oh, ron...
528
00:18:22,262 --> 00:18:24,530
I really made love to
the pooch on this one.
529
00:18:24,597 --> 00:18:26,098
Screwed the pooch?
530
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,166
I don't like that term.
It's so vulgar.
531
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:32,169
ron.
532
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,105
That sucked today. I'm sorry.
There's no other way to say it.
533
00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:37,508
They're a bunch of
career bureaucrats.
534
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,609
What did you think they
were gonna say to you?
535
00:18:39,677 --> 00:18:41,778
"leslie, you are the next
link in a wonderful chain
536
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:43,613
"that stretches back to
when our town was founded.
537
00:18:43,681 --> 00:18:45,281
"and we believe in you,
and we support you,
538
00:18:45,349 --> 00:18:47,116
"and we'll be
following your career.
539
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:48,351
You are the chosen one."
540
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,086
Or something.
541
00:18:50,154 --> 00:18:52,121
Well, okay,
so that was the problem.
542
00:18:52,189 --> 00:18:53,623
No, you know what
the worst part is,
543
00:18:53,691 --> 00:18:55,625
Is I want to be parks director,
544
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:58,428
But every single person who was
parks director hated their job
545
00:18:58,496 --> 00:19:00,630
And hated everyone
they worked with.
546
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,201
Are we gonna hate
each other someday?
547
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,806
- I don't think so.
- Huh.
548
00:19:07,873 --> 00:19:09,776
I think we're gonna be fine.
549
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,479
Anyway, the point's moot,
550
00:19:12,546 --> 00:19:13,980
Because you're park director now,
551
00:19:14,048 --> 00:19:15,315
And you're not going anywhere,
552
00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:17,150
And I'm not making you go anywhere.
553
00:19:17,218 --> 00:19:19,487
I'm not gonna stab you in
the back or anything, so...
554
00:19:19,554 --> 00:19:20,821
Maybe I should go somewhere.
555
00:19:20,889 --> 00:19:23,491
Maybe I should move to eagleton.
556
00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:25,160
Oh, god, the thought of that.
557
00:19:25,228 --> 00:19:27,895
Leslie, you don't have
to move to eagleton.
558
00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:29,897
When I become city manager,
559
00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:31,365
My job is yours.
560
00:19:32,835 --> 00:19:34,836
Of course, my first
act as city manager
561
00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:37,840
Will be to propose eliminating
the parks department,
562
00:19:37,908 --> 00:19:40,679
Although I expect a
spirited debate with leslie.
563
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,016
Who knows what the
future holds for me?
564
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:47,020
Maybe I'll leapfrog ron's
job and become city manager.
565
00:19:47,088 --> 00:19:49,023
Of course, my first
act as city manager
566
00:19:49,090 --> 00:19:51,859
Would be to double the size
of the parks department,
567
00:19:51,927 --> 00:19:56,030
Although I do expect
a fight from ron.
568
00:19:56,098 --> 00:19:57,665
But I'll win.
569
00:19:57,733 --> 00:20:00,034
Mmm, oh! Thank you, darling.
570
00:20:00,102 --> 00:20:01,336
Oh, why would anybody
571
00:20:01,404 --> 00:20:03,137
Ever eat anything
besides breakfast food?
572
00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:06,103
People are idiots, leslie.
573
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,139
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
574
00:20:11,206 --> 00:20:13,906
- The wait is over.
- Oh, yay!
575
00:20:13,974 --> 00:20:16,276
Yay! Look what's here.
576
00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,011
What we got...
577
00:20:18,078 --> 00:20:19,512
"my fellow pawneeans,
578
00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:21,047
"yes, it's here.
579
00:20:21,114 --> 00:20:23,982
"the parks department's
summer catalog has arrived.
580
00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:26,784
"and for the first time in 20 years,
tennis is back.
581
00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:29,386
"peruse this wondrous
book at your leisure
582
00:20:29,454 --> 00:20:30,621
"and take advantage
583
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,723
"of everything this
great town has to offer.
584
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:35,725
"time is fleeting,
my fellow pawneeans.
585
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:39,061
"make the most of it while you can.
586
00:20:39,129 --> 00:20:41,163
"I recently had the honor
of spending an afternoon
587
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:43,996
"with every living,
former parks director,
588
00:20:44,063 --> 00:20:46,495
"and they taught me
a valuable lesson--
589
00:20:46,562 --> 00:20:49,195
There's nothing more
important than friendship."
590
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:52,129
It's a little flowery.
591
00:20:52,196 --> 00:20:53,229
Shut up.
592
00:20:54,847 --> 00:20:56,347
I got to hand it to michael.
593
00:20:56,414 --> 00:21:00,382
His water-pipe-making
skills were most impressive.
594
00:21:00,449 --> 00:21:01,849
I once saw him smoke pot
595
00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:05,115
Out of a 20-foot length of
garden hose and a milk jug.
596
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,520
That guy made a water pipe
out of a stuffed raccoon.
597
00:21:08,588 --> 00:21:09,755
- No way.
- No, I'm not kidding.
598
00:21:09,822 --> 00:21:11,389
He made a bong out of
a taxidermied raccoon?
599
00:21:11,456 --> 00:21:13,390
I caught him smoking pot out of it
600
00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:15,892
Not three feet from
where we're standing.
601
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,060
oh, nice shot!
602
00:21:18,128 --> 00:21:21,562
Right in clarence's ancient junk.
603
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:23,430
- Oh!
- Oh!
604
00:21:23,498 --> 00:21:24,063
In the neck!
605
00:21:24,064 --> 00:21:25,064
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9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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