1 00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,468 - Good morning. - Whoo! 2 00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:06,637 Swiss family ron-binson- that hat is dope. 3 00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,271 Thanks, tom. 4 00:00:08,339 --> 00:00:11,141 You mind if I rock that bad larry on my dome? 5 00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:12,523 Wear it, on my head? 6 00:00:12,591 --> 00:00:15,437 Try it on the ladies? 7 00:00:15,505 --> 00:00:16,669 Be my guest. 8 00:00:16,736 --> 00:00:21,235 Hi. I'm tom. I have a raccoon on my head. 9 00:00:21,303 --> 00:00:22,670 Uh... 10 00:00:22,737 --> 00:00:24,937 Excuse me, my friend over here was digging through your trash, 11 00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:26,205 And I think we may have a lot in common. 12 00:00:26,273 --> 00:00:28,508 I'm tom. Would you like to see a movie sometime? 13 00:00:28,576 --> 00:00:31,039 Are you a raccoon? 14 00:00:31,107 --> 00:00:33,737 Because you've been running around my hat all da-- 15 00:00:33,805 --> 00:00:35,773 Head all day. 16 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,809 Girl, you're more precious than precious. 17 00:00:37,877 --> 00:00:39,445 Uh-uh. 18 00:00:39,512 --> 00:00:42,080 Nice hat. Want to bone? 19 00:00:42,148 --> 00:00:43,682 That's you talking to me. 20 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:44,916 No. 21 00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:47,084 How about... 22 00:00:47,152 --> 00:00:50,620 "yes, I am a hunter, and it's you season"? 23 00:00:50,687 --> 00:00:52,121 Whoa! 24 00:00:52,189 --> 00:00:54,223 That's great. I got to get back out there. 25 00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:55,323 You know what they say-- 26 00:00:55,391 --> 00:00:57,024 Animal on the head, 27 00:00:57,092 --> 00:00:58,192 Manimal in the bed. 28 00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,360 Damn, girl, your hotness killed my raccoon. 29 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,763 I have a raccoon hat. I'm an interesting person. 30 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,865 Hello. 31 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,466 Any luck? 32 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:08,700 No. 33 00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,202 Didn't work out as well as I thought it would. 34 00:01:10,269 --> 00:01:12,803 Well, better luck next time. 35 00:01:12,871 --> 00:01:14,371 I tried. It just didn't seem like-- 36 00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:15,706 Wow, I love that hat. 37 00:01:15,773 --> 00:01:17,540 Thank you, ma'am. 38 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:33,792 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 39 00:01:40,838 --> 00:01:43,008 Hey, ron, I have a surprise for you. 40 00:01:43,076 --> 00:01:45,243 Meet me at harvey james park at 11:30. 41 00:01:45,311 --> 00:01:47,111 - Why? - It's a surprise. 42 00:01:47,179 --> 00:01:48,411 What's the surprise? 43 00:01:48,479 --> 00:01:49,879 If I told you, it would ruin the surprise. 44 00:01:49,947 --> 00:01:51,214 What's the surprise it would ruin? 45 00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:52,215 I cannot tell you that. 46 00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:53,750 Leslie, my first wife, tammy, 47 00:01:53,818 --> 00:01:55,818 Tried throwing me a surprise birthday party. 48 00:01:55,886 --> 00:01:58,087 When I saw my friends hiding through the window, 49 00:01:58,155 --> 00:02:00,022 I drove to a gas station, called the cops, 50 00:02:00,090 --> 00:02:02,224 And told them people had broken into my home. 51 00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:04,760 Not big on surprises. 52 00:02:04,827 --> 00:02:06,294 Okay, but you're gonna like this one. 53 00:02:06,362 --> 00:02:07,629 - What is it? - I'm not telling you. 54 00:02:07,696 --> 00:02:11,698 And I'm not gonna tell anybody. 55 00:02:11,766 --> 00:02:12,866 Okay, I'll tell you. 56 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:13,866 We're putting together 57 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,767 The parks department summer catalog, 58 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:19,637 And the big surprise is I am going to reunite 59 00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:23,040 All the living, former parks directors at a picnic, 60 00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:24,241 Record the whole thing, 61 00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:27,043 And then write about it in the welcome letter. 62 00:02:27,111 --> 00:02:29,311 It's the biggest catalog of the year. 63 00:02:29,379 --> 00:02:32,047 Think of the September issue of vogue, 64 00:02:32,115 --> 00:02:33,948 But it's more important to pawnee, 65 00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:36,049 Mainly because we don't get vogue here. 66 00:02:36,116 --> 00:02:39,584 I'm gonna move this yearning ad to the centerfold. 67 00:02:39,651 --> 00:02:41,518 Centerfold? Always the best part. 68 00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:43,152 Am I right, justin? 69 00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:45,220 Damn. You broke up six weeks ago. 70 00:02:45,288 --> 00:02:47,555 Yeah. Jerry, I need to see your softball pictures. 71 00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:49,423 Here you go, chief. 72 00:02:49,491 --> 00:02:51,358 Wow. Good job. Nice work. 73 00:02:51,425 --> 00:02:53,691 Wait a minute. Isn't that that creepy guy? 74 00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:56,594 Morgan, the pedophile? 75 00:02:56,661 --> 00:02:57,795 Yeah, it is. 76 00:02:59,298 --> 00:03:01,566 Come on, I didn't know that. He seemed okay. 77 00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,301 We had dinner together. 78 00:03:04,369 --> 00:03:05,702 Guys, I don't know if I made it clear, 79 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:07,203 But I don't want any sex offenders 80 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,771 In our parks catalog. 81 00:03:08,838 --> 00:03:10,239 Okay, I will photoshop his face. 82 00:03:10,307 --> 00:03:12,508 Can you photoshop your life with better decisions, jerry? 83 00:03:12,576 --> 00:03:13,676 Okay, April, enough. 84 00:03:13,743 --> 00:03:15,510 Cover photo-- tom, you're up. 85 00:03:15,578 --> 00:03:16,812 This catalog 86 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,680 Is basically like an ad for the parks department, 87 00:03:18,748 --> 00:03:20,682 And I love ads. 88 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:23,184 I love magazine ads for flavored vodkas, 89 00:03:23,252 --> 00:03:25,086 Billboards for designer jeans. 90 00:03:25,153 --> 00:03:27,655 I tivo through shows to get to the ads. 91 00:03:27,722 --> 00:03:29,856 I love ads. 92 00:03:29,924 --> 00:03:32,324 What are we trying to do with this catalog? 93 00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:35,126 We're trying to sell pawnee on our summer classes. 94 00:03:35,194 --> 00:03:36,361 How do we do that? 95 00:03:36,429 --> 00:03:39,531 With one perfect, captivating image. 96 00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:40,765 April. 97 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:42,200 Modern life. 98 00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:43,767 Where are we running? 99 00:03:43,835 --> 00:03:47,538 Sometimes what we want is not always where we are. 100 00:03:47,605 --> 00:03:48,972 Next slide. 101 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,540 Are we alone? 102 00:03:50,608 --> 00:03:53,176 Is the real winter inside our hearts? 103 00:03:53,244 --> 00:03:55,545 We're all struggling for definition 104 00:03:55,613 --> 00:03:57,614 In a world that resists our inquiries. 105 00:03:57,681 --> 00:03:59,482 Okay, this isn't gonna work for a number of reasons. 106 00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:00,983 One-- this is a summer catalog, 107 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:03,351 Two--that was complete gibberish, 108 00:04:03,419 --> 00:04:05,486 And three--that child looks like it's abandoned, 109 00:04:05,553 --> 00:04:07,987 So basically, boo. 110 00:04:08,055 --> 00:04:10,356 Next slide. 111 00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:11,690 Oh, god. 112 00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:14,026 Weird. How did that...? 113 00:04:14,093 --> 00:04:15,994 Um, that's a personal photo. 114 00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:17,895 That's-- 115 00:04:17,963 --> 00:04:19,397 Shouldn't be-- it must've... 116 00:04:19,464 --> 00:04:20,665 You know, I got to say, 117 00:04:20,732 --> 00:04:23,233 I think that could actually work as our cover photo. 118 00:04:23,301 --> 00:04:24,468 I'm cool with it if you guys are. 119 00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:25,669 It's a high-res photo. 120 00:04:25,736 --> 00:04:27,170 I don't know if I have time for this, guys, 121 00:04:27,237 --> 00:04:28,504 So let's just pick a good photo, okay? 122 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,739 What do you want, leslie? 123 00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,240 A picture of parents pushing a kid on a swing? 124 00:04:31,308 --> 00:04:33,342 Yeah, exactly. Get me that. 125 00:04:34,811 --> 00:04:36,644 Okay, I got to go. 126 00:04:36,712 --> 00:04:39,680 What is he thinking? 127 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,515 "why is my cup so tiny?" 128 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,620 Hey. What are you doing here? 129 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,955 Happy six-month anniversary. 130 00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:51,489 I got you a gift. 131 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,024 Uh, it's a chicken-salad sandwich. 132 00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,693 And I don't want you to feel bad about not getting me anything, 133 00:04:55,761 --> 00:04:56,827 Because I never exp-- 134 00:04:56,895 --> 00:04:59,196 Swiss army watch, mofo. 135 00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:01,731 Well done, perkins. 136 00:05:01,799 --> 00:05:03,333 Wow. - You like it? 137 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,969 Thank you so much. It's so nice. 138 00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:08,470 Are you-- are you allowed to kiss me 139 00:05:08,538 --> 00:05:09,971 In a--in a hospital room? 140 00:05:10,039 --> 00:05:11,940 Oh, don't worry about it. He's dead. 141 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,341 Oh, my god. 142 00:05:13,409 --> 00:05:15,209 Oh, no, I'm just kidding. He's sleeping. 143 00:05:15,277 --> 00:05:16,277 Oh, okay. 144 00:05:16,345 --> 00:05:18,278 Yeah, our relationship is going well, 145 00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:20,313 Really well. 146 00:05:20,381 --> 00:05:22,948 That guy really seemed dead. 147 00:05:25,049 --> 00:05:26,951 Nice! 148 00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:28,553 Here, catch this. 149 00:05:30,521 --> 00:05:31,987 You got me in the face. 150 00:05:32,055 --> 00:05:33,888 Oh. That one hurt. 151 00:05:33,955 --> 00:05:35,155 You have a good arm. 152 00:05:35,223 --> 00:05:36,823 I know. I used to play softball in high school. 153 00:05:36,891 --> 00:05:38,525 Shut up. I played baseball in high school. 154 00:05:38,592 --> 00:05:39,892 Shut up. 155 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,694 Yeah, that's, like, the boy version of softball. 156 00:05:41,761 --> 00:05:43,228 Guys, don't play with the food, okay? 157 00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:44,395 We need this for the picnic. 158 00:05:44,463 --> 00:05:45,730 We have everything? - Yes, ma'am. 159 00:05:45,798 --> 00:05:47,899 Three picnic baskets, assorted cheeses, grapes, wine. 160 00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:50,268 Smoked salmon? 161 00:05:50,335 --> 00:05:53,570 April threw the smoked salmon on the roof. 162 00:05:53,638 --> 00:05:54,904 I'm sorry. 163 00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:56,171 Where's leslie? 164 00:05:56,239 --> 00:05:57,839 She just texted me from your phone 165 00:05:57,907 --> 00:05:59,307 And said she left her phone at home 166 00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:01,142 And that I should come here immediately, 167 00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:02,776 And why did I believe that? 168 00:06:02,843 --> 00:06:04,777 Maybe in your heart, you knew it was from me, 169 00:06:04,845 --> 00:06:06,412 But you came anyway. 170 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,613 Nope. 171 00:06:07,681 --> 00:06:09,714 Tom, would you please stop texting me 172 00:06:09,781 --> 00:06:11,515 That you're having a city-planning emergency. 173 00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:13,451 There's no such thing as a city-planning emergency. 174 00:06:13,518 --> 00:06:14,452 - Hi, there. - Hi. 175 00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:15,553 Look at you two. 176 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,121 Ann perkins, mark brendanawicz. 177 00:06:18,189 --> 00:06:19,689 Ann-danawicz... 178 00:06:19,757 --> 00:06:21,457 Or merkins. 179 00:06:21,525 --> 00:06:22,925 No, ann-danawicz. 180 00:06:22,993 --> 00:06:24,160 You two should be models-- 181 00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:25,661 Maybe on the cover 182 00:06:25,729 --> 00:06:28,630 Of the parks department summer catalog? 183 00:06:28,698 --> 00:06:31,032 That's not the reason you called me in here, right? 184 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,633 'cause I just finished a 12-hour shift. 185 00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:33,868 If that's the reason-- 186 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,637 Come on, ann. It'd be a huge favor for leslie. 187 00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:37,039 You know how important this is to her. 188 00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,307 - Well, I am in. - Dude. 189 00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:39,308 I am. 190 00:06:39,376 --> 00:06:41,443 We don't have any pictures 191 00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:43,145 Of just the two of us. 192 00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:44,646 Plus, I've always said 193 00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:46,648 We should go on more dates with tom. 194 00:06:46,716 --> 00:06:48,283 Yeah, you have, 195 00:06:48,351 --> 00:06:50,319 And thank god an opportunity presented itself. 196 00:06:50,386 --> 00:06:51,520 See, win-win. 197 00:06:51,588 --> 00:06:52,856 Now, ann, you're gonna change, right? 198 00:06:52,923 --> 00:06:54,457 I g--I guess. 199 00:06:54,525 --> 00:06:56,691 And would it kill you to maybe put on some lipstick? 200 00:06:56,758 --> 00:06:57,991 Do you even own lipstick? 201 00:06:58,058 --> 00:06:59,926 This is probably the first time in history 202 00:06:59,993 --> 00:07:02,060 These four great men have been in the same place 203 00:07:02,128 --> 00:07:03,095 At the same time. 204 00:07:03,162 --> 00:07:04,830 It kind of makes you-- 205 00:07:06,232 --> 00:07:07,165 What is this? 206 00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:10,134 Sweater swap. She noticed. You were right. 207 00:07:10,202 --> 00:07:11,335 Oh, my god. Somebody's here. 208 00:07:11,403 --> 00:07:12,869 Okay, guys, just act normal, please. 209 00:07:12,937 --> 00:07:14,070 Just be like normal people. 210 00:07:14,138 --> 00:07:16,272 Hello. Hi, david moser. 211 00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:17,273 I'm leslie knope. 212 00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:18,707 It is such an honor to meet you. 213 00:07:18,775 --> 00:07:21,610 Right. How long is this gonna take? 214 00:07:21,678 --> 00:07:23,044 Oh, not very long. 215 00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:25,446 I-I realize, of course, you're a very busy man. 216 00:07:25,514 --> 00:07:27,047 I love parks. 217 00:07:27,115 --> 00:07:29,283 I don't know if that's something I've communicated before. 218 00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,684 So having a picnic 219 00:07:30,752 --> 00:07:33,654 With all the former, living parks department directors-- 220 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:36,555 Guess who just checked something off her bucket list. 221 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,857 Clarence carrington, david moser, 222 00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,293 Michael tansley, ron swanson-- 223 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,328 Gathered together on a beautiful day 224 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,695 In this beautiful park. 225 00:07:44,763 --> 00:07:46,163 I think we should just take a moment 226 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:48,830 And appreciate how lucky we are. 227 00:07:48,898 --> 00:07:50,565 I thought you were dead, clarence. 228 00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:53,967 No, I'm gonna outlive you, then I'm gonna nail your wife. 229 00:07:54,035 --> 00:07:55,068 Screw you, you old coot. 230 00:07:55,136 --> 00:07:57,070 Classic david. You're worse than ron. 231 00:07:57,138 --> 00:07:58,871 Shut your damn mouth, tansley. 232 00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:01,574 Okay, great, let's go. 233 00:08:01,642 --> 00:08:03,944 When I say "parks, " you say "department." 234 00:08:04,011 --> 00:08:05,579 Parks. 235 00:08:05,646 --> 00:08:06,747 Parks. 236 00:08:06,814 --> 00:08:08,048 Apartment! 237 00:08:10,039 --> 00:08:12,473 Oh, boy, this is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. 238 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:14,808 Can you guys run up ahead and set up the picnic? 239 00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:16,643 Sure. 240 00:08:16,711 --> 00:08:18,211 Where are they going with the food? 241 00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:20,480 I'm starving. I only had one breakfast. 242 00:08:20,548 --> 00:08:21,615 Okay, relax. 243 00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:23,216 Look, what was going on back there? 244 00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:24,451 Why all the sniping? 245 00:08:24,519 --> 00:08:25,952 I'm not exactly sure. 246 00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,252 The only one I know is michael, 247 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,220 And we're not exactly best friends. 248 00:08:29,288 --> 00:08:30,722 I'm hungry. 249 00:08:30,789 --> 00:08:32,591 Okay, well, don't be such a baby. 250 00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:34,994 I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack. 251 00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:36,328 I ate it already. 252 00:08:36,396 --> 00:08:37,329 What? 253 00:08:37,396 --> 00:08:38,530 I could smell it in your purse 254 00:08:38,598 --> 00:08:39,597 Before I even parked my car. 255 00:08:39,665 --> 00:08:40,632 And now it's gone, 256 00:08:40,699 --> 00:08:43,134 And I hate everything. 257 00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:46,603 Good, good, good. 258 00:08:46,671 --> 00:08:48,038 All right. 259 00:08:48,106 --> 00:08:50,941 I think we got the boring, cliched shot that leslie wanted. 260 00:08:51,009 --> 00:08:52,008 That's it? We're done? 261 00:08:52,076 --> 00:08:53,742 Not even close. 262 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:57,178 Now the real art begins. 263 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,612 Step one-- nail this photo shoot 264 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,747 With an amazing, iconic image. 265 00:09:01,815 --> 00:09:03,649 Step two-- book some outside gigs. 266 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,118 Step three-- have sex with a model. 267 00:09:06,186 --> 00:09:09,956 Step four--step in front of the camera, become a model. 268 00:09:11,892 --> 00:09:14,126 Go, yes. Keep slithering, keep slithering! 269 00:09:15,695 --> 00:09:18,529 Ann, can you give me something, anything in the face? 270 00:09:18,597 --> 00:09:19,763 What do you want me to do? 271 00:09:19,831 --> 00:09:21,398 Do what mark's doing. He's doing great. 272 00:09:21,466 --> 00:09:22,466 Keep slithering! 273 00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:25,470 I'm not doing anything, so... 274 00:09:25,538 --> 00:09:28,273 Okay, clarence, um, why don't you describe 275 00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:30,541 The first summer pawnee catalog? 276 00:09:30,609 --> 00:09:32,509 Oh, I remember. 277 00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:35,445 That first year, we offered four classes. 278 00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:37,313 I actually taught homemaking. 279 00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:40,082 Women were not allowed to teach back then. 280 00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:41,450 Really? 281 00:09:41,518 --> 00:09:43,184 I thought there were female teachers way before then. 282 00:09:43,252 --> 00:09:46,486 Not my department. 283 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,721 Well, times have changed. 284 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:51,156 I'm--I'm deputy director now, but I'm hoping someday 285 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,792 To be the first female director of the department. 286 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,361 Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. 287 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,163 Women, uh, need a lot of blood 288 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,432 To--to flow through to- -to the baby cents, 289 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,968 Which leaves less to the brain, you see. 290 00:10:05,036 --> 00:10:06,769 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sure. 291 00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:09,071 I'd stay away from leadership roles, 292 00:10:09,138 --> 00:10:13,173 Uh, for your own safety. 293 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,407 No! No! 294 00:10:15,809 --> 00:10:17,510 Hey, maybe I should write a song about a picnic. 295 00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:20,446 Ooh, where'd you come up with that idea? 296 00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:21,847 The picnic we're having. 297 00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:24,316 I already have the perfect title. 298 00:10:24,384 --> 00:10:25,617 "life is a picnic." 299 00:10:25,685 --> 00:10:26,985 That's good. 300 00:10:27,053 --> 00:10:30,855 How about "life is a picnic...With you"? 301 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,721 Whoa. Then it could be about a girl... 302 00:10:33,788 --> 00:10:35,755 Or peyton manning. 303 00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:38,022 Hmm. You want to help me write thlyrics? 304 00:10:38,089 --> 00:10:40,557 Yeah, totally. 305 00:10:40,624 --> 00:10:43,793 We should grab a drink after this at tucker's. 306 00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:46,194 Yeah, I would do that. That sounds fun. 307 00:10:46,262 --> 00:10:48,797 I just have to, um, get my stuff from the office. 308 00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:52,433 But that's-- that would be cool 309 00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:53,867 David, what was it exactly 310 00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:55,936 That called you to the parks department? 311 00:10:56,004 --> 00:10:58,170 Well, I was in public works for eight years, 312 00:10:58,238 --> 00:10:59,905 But the director was pretty young. 313 00:10:59,973 --> 00:11:03,075 Clarence was old and weak, 314 00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:05,143 So I put in for a transfer, swooped , 315 00:11:05,211 --> 00:11:07,379 And pushed him out. 316 00:11:09,381 --> 00:11:11,816 Uh, there was no other reason you wanted the job? 317 00:11:11,884 --> 00:11:14,619 No, just the money and the pension. 318 00:11:14,687 --> 00:11:17,253 The actual job's a nightmare. 319 00:11:17,321 --> 00:11:20,856 I mean, who gives a crap about thisrap? 320 00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:27,566 Well, david, I think we've talked enough. 321 00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:30,135 Mark, that's great. Bobby, great. 322 00:11:30,202 --> 00:11:31,502 Ann, you look miserable! 323 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:33,270 Terrible, terrible! 324 00:11:33,337 --> 00:11:35,305 Come on, ann, what are we doing? 325 00:11:35,372 --> 00:11:36,973 Maxim or good housekeeping? 326 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,041 I'm not sure which one is the insult. 327 00:11:39,109 --> 00:11:40,176 Hey, if there's anyone out there 328 00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:41,443 That's doing a photo shoot 329 00:11:41,511 --> 00:11:43,012 About the dangers of eating undercooked chicken, 330 00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:45,280 I can give you ann's phone number. 331 00:11:45,348 --> 00:11:47,216 Okay, let's stop for a second. 332 00:11:47,283 --> 00:11:49,217 Bobby, I love how you work. 333 00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:50,384 Yay. 334 00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:51,919 You can have as many juice boxes as you want. 335 00:11:51,987 --> 00:11:54,088 In fact, grab me one too. Make it an apple. 336 00:11:54,156 --> 00:11:57,591 Mark, great job. You can have a juice box too. 337 00:11:57,659 --> 00:11:59,626 Ann, take a walk with me. 338 00:11:59,694 --> 00:12:01,128 In a million years, I never thought 339 00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:03,263 You would be the problem with this photo shoot. 340 00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,732 Didn't you just plan this, like, two hours ago? 341 00:12:05,799 --> 00:12:07,400 I just don't get it. 342 00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:09,902 How could someone so hot be so bad at looking hot? 343 00:12:09,969 --> 00:12:12,169 I'm sorry I'm not a professional model. 344 00:12:12,237 --> 00:12:14,971 And screaming "make your face better" doesn't help. 345 00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:17,140 Well, I'm sorry. Your face just isn't working. 346 00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:18,173 And we need to do mething 347 00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:20,107 To distract from this ring area. 348 00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,173 Now, I didn't want to have to do this, 349 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,474 But we may have to go nude. 350 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,476 - Good-bye, tom. - Fair enough. 351 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,578 I totally understand, but we should get one for safety. 352 00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,312 Okay, guys, we're almost there. 353 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,480 It's right up here. 354 00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:30,982 You really shouldn't be leading us. 355 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,985 If you're menstruating, you'll attract bears. 356 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,487 Holy god. 357 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:36,654 Okay. 358 00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,823 Here we are. - 359 00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,992 Eat. 360 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,827 Well, it hasn't gone exactly as I'd hoped, 361 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,329 But, um, I got them all here, 362 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:46,997 And we're gonna have a beautiful picnic. 363 00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:48,665 It's gonna-- it's gonna be good. 364 00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,500 Hey! 365 00:12:50,568 --> 00:12:53,169 I just whizzed on a butterfly. 366 00:12:56,241 --> 00:12:58,509 Well, gentlemen, as you know, I'm working on my welcome letter 367 00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:00,144 For the summer catalog. 368 00:13:00,211 --> 00:13:01,778 You should just copy the eagleton one. 369 00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:03,446 I used to just copy the eagleton one. 370 00:13:03,514 --> 00:13:04,880 Did you? 371 00:13:04,948 --> 00:13:06,782 I was hoping that maybe you could talk to me a little bit 372 00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:08,950 About how the department has changed since you ran it. 373 00:13:09,018 --> 00:13:10,786 Well, I think you've done a wonderful job 374 00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,387 Maintaining the parks. 375 00:13:12,455 --> 00:13:13,788 Thank you, michael. I appreciate that. 376 00:13:13,856 --> 00:13:15,322 Did you enjoy your turn at the helm? 377 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:16,490 Oh, in a way. 378 00:13:16,558 --> 00:13:17,959 Um, pencil-pushing wasn't really my thing, 379 00:13:18,026 --> 00:13:19,627 But I did love the parks themselves. 380 00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:21,394 That was the best part of the job. 381 00:13:21,462 --> 00:13:22,628 Oh, isn't it? I totally agree. 382 00:13:22,696 --> 00:13:24,796 Well, thank goodness for you. 383 00:13:24,864 --> 00:13:27,465 Yes, thank goodness for michael. 384 00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:29,201 Are you still on parole, by the way? 385 00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,971 Oh, ha ha, very funny, ron. 386 00:13:32,038 --> 00:13:33,839 - Y-y-yes, ron, I am. - What? 387 00:13:33,907 --> 00:13:35,806 He smoked pot in the office 388 00:13:35,874 --> 00:13:37,974 And in all the parks constantly. 389 00:13:38,042 --> 00:13:39,975 In fairness to me, it was a different time. 390 00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:43,212 It was the early '90s, but also it's ridiculous 391 00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:44,713 That marijuana is illegal. 392 00:13:44,781 --> 00:13:47,515 Thomas jefferson grew hemp. 393 00:13:47,583 --> 00:13:50,650 Alcohol is legal, but pot isn't? 394 00:13:51,919 --> 00:13:53,251 That makes sense to you, ron? 395 00:13:53,319 --> 00:13:55,086 I'm sorry. I can't hear hippies. 396 00:13:57,656 --> 00:13:59,424 So if you had to sleep with one of the old guys, 397 00:13:59,492 --> 00:14:00,925 Who would it be? 398 00:14:00,993 --> 00:14:02,260 The super old one. 399 00:14:02,328 --> 00:14:03,695 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 400 00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:05,930 I'm an eyebrow girl. 401 00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:08,065 I want to make out with him and chew his eyebrows off. 402 00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:10,268 that is... 403 00:14:10,336 --> 00:14:11,836 Really gross. 404 00:14:11,904 --> 00:14:13,572 Anybody got any water? 405 00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:15,607 "oh, I want water. I'm so old. 406 00:14:15,674 --> 00:14:17,108 I need to drink water. " - oh, stop it. 407 00:14:17,175 --> 00:14:18,875 Stop taunting him. 408 00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:20,576 I don't need your help, jailbird. 409 00:14:20,644 --> 00:14:22,778 If there's any unclaimed meat or cheese, 410 00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,245 I would like to claim it. 411 00:14:24,313 --> 00:14:25,580 Yeah, like you claimed my job? 412 00:14:25,648 --> 00:14:26,715 Yes, exactly like that, 413 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,249 In that I wanted it, and then I took it. 414 00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:29,617 Okay, guys, you know what I would love? 415 00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:31,954 I'd love if anybody just said something positive 416 00:14:32,022 --> 00:14:34,057 About--oh, I don't know-- anything. 417 00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,127 I agree. Let's just relax, smoke another "j," 418 00:14:36,195 --> 00:14:37,695 And all calm down. 419 00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:39,063 Another? 420 00:14:39,131 --> 00:14:41,298 By the way, it's ridiculous that pot is illegal. 421 00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:43,933 - Oh. - It grows... 422 00:14:44,001 --> 00:14:45,168 In the ground. 423 00:14:45,236 --> 00:14:47,137 I've planted marijuana in community gardens 424 00:14:47,204 --> 00:14:49,237 All over the city, and it hasn't hurt anyone. 425 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,638 - What? - You know, michael, 426 00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:51,906 You are one pot-loving 427 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,941 Motherpain in the rectum. 428 00:14:54,009 --> 00:14:55,241 Okay, stop it. Stop it. 429 00:14:55,309 --> 00:14:57,142 You're all being awful, horrible men. 430 00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:58,143 Uh-oh. 431 00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,077 Your little friend come to visit? 432 00:15:01,145 --> 00:15:02,745 Clarence, if you mention 433 00:15:02,813 --> 00:15:05,879 Anything about women or menstruation 434 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,912 Or anything, I'm gonna take your face, 435 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:09,613 And I'm gonna shove it in those brambles. 436 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,147 - Yes. - No, you're next, buddy. 437 00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,148 Andy! Let's take this picture. 438 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:14,583 Come on, get out of your seat, turds. 439 00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:15,884 - What? - Line up over there. 440 00:15:15,952 --> 00:15:17,987 Come on. Just please try to look human, 441 00:15:18,054 --> 00:15:19,755 All right, and not so evil. 442 00:15:19,823 --> 00:15:20,890 Everybody, looky here. 443 00:15:20,957 --> 00:15:22,624 One, two, three-- thank you so much 444 00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:23,659 For the wonderful memories. 445 00:15:23,726 --> 00:15:24,960 Everybody take their stuff and go. 446 00:15:25,027 --> 00:15:28,296 Ooh, ooh, can we do one funny-face one? 447 00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:30,757 Do you have that picture that andy took? 448 00:15:30,824 --> 00:15:32,057 Maybe I'll run it without any text. 449 00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:33,491 Yeah. 450 00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,559 I tried to photoshop it to make it look like they were happy. 451 00:15:36,627 --> 00:15:39,227 It was really hard. Their mouths are just so old. 452 00:15:39,295 --> 00:15:41,461 God, look at these horrible men. 453 00:15:41,528 --> 00:15:44,129 You know, I don't even know if I want them in my catalog. 454 00:15:44,197 --> 00:15:45,496 Would you like... 455 00:15:45,564 --> 00:15:46,931 These men in your catalog? 456 00:15:46,999 --> 00:15:48,999 Oh, my god, April. That's disgusting. 457 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:51,401 What? Look how generous they're being with each other. 458 00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:53,002 And here's the obstruction series. 459 00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:55,173 What do you think? Amazing, right? 460 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,442 I call this one "the future." 461 00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:59,778 It's completely blurry. 462 00:15:59,846 --> 00:16:03,582 Yes, it is, ann. 463 00:16:03,649 --> 00:16:05,950 What about the ones we took on the swing--the normal ones? 464 00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:09,854 You mean the "unhappy wife" photos? 465 00:16:09,921 --> 00:16:12,455 Oh, my god. These are even worse somehow. 466 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,558 I look miserable. 467 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,259 You do look kind of miserable. 468 00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:18,295 Now you know what I meant by, "make your face better." 469 00:16:18,362 --> 00:16:20,329 Was there something wrong, ann? I-- 470 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,165 Well, I'd just gotten off a long shift. 471 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,867 He was being really annoying. 472 00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:25,901 Mark looks happy. 473 00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:27,069 Ugh. Just-- 474 00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:29,404 Please don't use these, okay? 475 00:16:29,471 --> 00:16:30,971 Let's grab some dinner. 476 00:16:31,039 --> 00:16:34,406 Sure. 477 00:16:34,473 --> 00:16:36,174 Hey, ron, you want me to read you 478 00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:37,741 What I have so far in my welcome letter? 479 00:16:37,809 --> 00:16:38,876 Nothing... 480 00:16:38,943 --> 00:16:40,544 Because you and your jerk predecessors 481 00:16:40,611 --> 00:16:42,578 Didn't give me anything to work with. 482 00:16:42,646 --> 00:16:44,147 Did you... 483 00:16:44,214 --> 00:16:45,314 Print this out? 484 00:16:45,382 --> 00:16:47,316 I heard the printer going. - Yes. 485 00:16:47,384 --> 00:16:49,486 You could've just handed me a blank piece of paper. 486 00:16:49,554 --> 00:16:51,556 Oh, wisdom-- finally. 487 00:16:51,623 --> 00:16:52,891 Thank you so much. 488 00:16:52,958 --> 00:16:56,160 You can also keep the photo. Thanks for the memories. 489 00:16:56,228 --> 00:16:57,194 Good god. 490 00:16:57,262 --> 00:16:58,328 I don't remember this. 491 00:16:58,396 --> 00:17:00,163 That-- that's the wrong one. 492 00:17:00,231 --> 00:17:02,364 But the real one's very bad as well. 493 00:17:02,432 --> 00:17:04,032 I want you to know that I'm replacing 494 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,500 The welcome letter with this ad 495 00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:07,202 For yearning by dennis feinstein. 496 00:17:07,269 --> 00:17:10,169 So good-bye, distilled wisdom of 50 years of experience. 497 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,270 Hello, disgusting fragrance flap. 498 00:17:12,338 --> 00:17:14,771 - Let me buy you dinner. - No. 499 00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:16,872 I insist you buy me dinner. 500 00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:19,508 Get a drink or whatever. It's cool. 501 00:17:19,576 --> 00:17:20,843 - I.D.? - I'm 24. 502 00:17:20,911 --> 00:17:22,845 No, you're not. 503 00:17:22,913 --> 00:17:25,949 - Okay, I'm 25- - no old jokes, please. 504 00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:27,017 I.D. 505 00:17:34,757 --> 00:17:36,124 It says right here you're 20. 506 00:17:36,191 --> 00:17:37,524 Seriously? 507 00:17:37,592 --> 00:17:40,293 You're not even gonna show me a fake? 508 00:17:40,362 --> 00:17:43,532 Sometimes the confidence confuses people. 509 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,634 - You're good, bro. - You know what? 510 00:17:45,701 --> 00:17:46,968 I think I'll just-- 511 00:17:47,036 --> 00:17:48,303 I'm gonna-- - um, hey... 512 00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:51,139 Um, I know another bar that always lets--lets me in, 513 00:17:51,207 --> 00:17:53,374 If you just want to go there, 514 00:17:53,442 --> 00:17:55,809 If you want to go do that. Uh, yeah, actually... 515 00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:56,876 I should be going home. 516 00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:58,643 I got a lot of stuff to do, 517 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,010 So I should go home... 518 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,645 Clean and stuff. 519 00:18:02,713 --> 00:18:04,313 But... 520 00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:07,149 Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, I got to... 521 00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:08,917 Go home too, so... 522 00:18:08,985 --> 00:18:10,985 All right. 523 00:18:11,053 --> 00:18:12,920 See ya. 524 00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:15,389 Later. 525 00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:18,925 The usual, marta. 526 00:18:18,993 --> 00:18:20,059 Me too, marta. 527 00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:22,194 - You got it. - oh, ron... 528 00:18:22,262 --> 00:18:24,530 I really made love to the pooch on this one. 529 00:18:24,597 --> 00:18:26,098 Screwed the pooch? 530 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,166 I don't like that term. It's so vulgar. 531 00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:32,169 ron. 532 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,105 That sucked today. I'm sorry. There's no other way to say it. 533 00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:37,508 They're a bunch of career bureaucrats. 534 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,609 What did you think they were gonna say to you? 535 00:18:39,677 --> 00:18:41,778 "leslie, you are the next link in a wonderful chain 536 00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:43,613 "that stretches back to when our town was founded. 537 00:18:43,681 --> 00:18:45,281 "and we believe in you, and we support you, 538 00:18:45,349 --> 00:18:47,116 "and we'll be following your career. 539 00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:48,351 You are the chosen one." 540 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,086 Or something. 541 00:18:50,154 --> 00:18:52,121 Well, okay, so that was the problem. 542 00:18:52,189 --> 00:18:53,623 No, you know what the worst part is, 543 00:18:53,691 --> 00:18:55,625 Is I want to be parks director, 544 00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:58,428 But every single person who was parks director hated their job 545 00:18:58,496 --> 00:19:00,630 And hated everyone they worked with. 546 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,201 Are we gonna hate each other someday? 547 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,806 - I don't think so. - Huh. 548 00:19:07,873 --> 00:19:09,776 I think we're gonna be fine. 549 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,479 Anyway, the point's moot, 550 00:19:12,546 --> 00:19:13,980 Because you're park director now, 551 00:19:14,048 --> 00:19:15,315 And you're not going anywhere, 552 00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:17,150 And I'm not making you go anywhere. 553 00:19:17,218 --> 00:19:19,487 I'm not gonna stab you in the back or anything, so... 554 00:19:19,554 --> 00:19:20,821 Maybe I should go somewhere. 555 00:19:20,889 --> 00:19:23,491 Maybe I should move to eagleton. 556 00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:25,160 Oh, god, the thought of that. 557 00:19:25,228 --> 00:19:27,895 Leslie, you don't have to move to eagleton. 558 00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:29,897 When I become city manager, 559 00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:31,365 My job is yours. 560 00:19:32,835 --> 00:19:34,836 Of course, my first act as city manager 561 00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:37,840 Will be to propose eliminating the parks department, 562 00:19:37,908 --> 00:19:40,679 Although I expect a spirited debate with leslie. 563 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,016 Who knows what the future holds for me? 564 00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:47,020 Maybe I'll leapfrog ron's job and become city manager. 565 00:19:47,088 --> 00:19:49,023 Of course, my first act as city manager 566 00:19:49,090 --> 00:19:51,859 Would be to double the size of the parks department, 567 00:19:51,927 --> 00:19:56,030 Although I do expect a fight from ron. 568 00:19:56,098 --> 00:19:57,665 But I'll win. 569 00:19:57,733 --> 00:20:00,034 Mmm, oh! Thank you, darling. 570 00:20:00,102 --> 00:20:01,336 Oh, why would anybody 571 00:20:01,404 --> 00:20:03,137 Ever eat anything besides breakfast food? 572 00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:06,103 People are idiots, leslie. 573 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,139 - Mmm. - Mmm. 574 00:20:11,206 --> 00:20:13,906 - The wait is over. - Oh, yay! 575 00:20:13,974 --> 00:20:16,276 Yay! Look what's here. 576 00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,011 What we got... 577 00:20:18,078 --> 00:20:19,512 "my fellow pawneeans, 578 00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:21,047 "yes, it's here. 579 00:20:21,114 --> 00:20:23,982 "the parks department's summer catalog has arrived. 580 00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:26,784 "and for the first time in 20 years, tennis is back. 581 00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:29,386 "peruse this wondrous book at your leisure 582 00:20:29,454 --> 00:20:30,621 "and take advantage 583 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,723 "of everything this great town has to offer. 584 00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:35,725 "time is fleeting, my fellow pawneeans. 585 00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:39,061 "make the most of it while you can. 586 00:20:39,129 --> 00:20:41,163 "I recently had the honor of spending an afternoon 587 00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:43,996 "with every living, former parks director, 588 00:20:44,063 --> 00:20:46,495 "and they taught me a valuable lesson-- 589 00:20:46,562 --> 00:20:49,195 There's nothing more important than friendship." 590 00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:52,129 It's a little flowery. 591 00:20:52,196 --> 00:20:53,229 Shut up. 592 00:20:54,847 --> 00:20:56,347 I got to hand it to michael. 593 00:20:56,414 --> 00:21:00,382 His water-pipe-making skills were most impressive. 594 00:21:00,449 --> 00:21:01,849 I once saw him smoke pot 595 00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:05,115 Out of a 20-foot length of garden hose and a milk jug. 596 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,520 That guy made a water pipe out of a stuffed raccoon. 597 00:21:08,588 --> 00:21:09,755 - No way. - No, I'm not kidding. 598 00:21:09,822 --> 00:21:11,389 He made a bong out of a taxidermied raccoon? 599 00:21:11,456 --> 00:21:13,390 I caught him smoking pot out of it 600 00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:15,892 Not three feet from where we're standing. 601 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,060 oh, nice shot! 602 00:21:18,128 --> 00:21:21,562 Right in clarence's ancient junk. 603 00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:23,430 - Oh! - Oh! 604 00:21:23,498 --> 00:21:24,063 In the neck! 605 00:21:24,064 --> 00:21:25,064 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net