1 00:00:01,652 --> 00:00:02,951 Oh hey, Ben. 2 00:00:02,952 --> 00:00:05,551 Have you seen my complete collection of all 3 00:00:05,552 --> 00:00:07,103 193 national flags? 4 00:00:07,452 --> 00:00:09,103 Ooh! Here they are. 5 00:00:09,852 --> 00:00:10,851 Wow! 6 00:00:10,952 --> 00:00:13,851 So, I've been asked to run this year's Model UN 7 00:00:13,952 --> 00:00:15,451 at Pawnee Central High School. 8 00:00:15,652 --> 00:00:16,751 Attendance has been low. 9 00:00:17,152 --> 00:00:19,551 And if I don't make it awesome, they may cancel it. 10 00:00:20,752 --> 00:00:23,051 I wonder if I'm gonna make it awesome. 11 00:00:23,852 --> 00:00:26,251 ...Or I can be South Korea, you can be Bangladesh. 12 00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:28,703 You can form like a Trans-Asiatic alliance. 13 00:00:28,754 --> 00:00:30,588 Yeah, I like it. And I see the merits of it. 14 00:00:30,623 --> 00:00:32,456 I just worry if we're both in Asia, 15 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,425 - it might limit our scope. - Mm. 16 00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:35,927 I kinda want to roll up my sleeves 17 00:00:35,961 --> 00:00:38,463 and make geopolitical problem-solving my bitch. 18 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:39,997 Amen, brother. 19 00:00:40,015 --> 00:00:42,600 Let's go back to plan "A." I'll be Denmark, you be Peru. 20 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:43,518 Yes! 21 00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:44,836 Oh, I didn't really do 22 00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:48,239 Model United Nations in high school, so... 23 00:00:48,273 --> 00:00:50,641 Oh, wait. I super-did. 24 00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:52,026 I need a few more volunteers. 25 00:00:52,061 --> 00:00:53,278 Andy, will you be Iceland? 26 00:00:53,312 --> 00:00:54,646 The bad guys from Mighty Ducks 2? 27 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,414 - Don't think so. - Okay, how about Japan? 28 00:00:56,448 --> 00:00:58,449 The bad guys from Karate Kid 2? 29 00:00:58,984 --> 00:01:01,535 Even worse. How 'bout Germany? 30 00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:03,120 They've never been the bad guys. 31 00:01:03,155 --> 00:01:04,538 Why don't you be Finland? 32 00:01:04,573 --> 00:01:05,706 - Okay. - Okay? 33 00:01:05,741 --> 00:01:06,958 And I'll be the Moon. 34 00:01:06,992 --> 00:01:09,210 No, you're gonna be South Africa or... 35 00:01:09,245 --> 00:01:11,379 - Pakistan. - I'm the Moon, or I quit. 36 00:01:11,413 --> 00:01:13,364 - April. - Moon or quit, man. 37 00:01:13,399 --> 00:01:14,832 Fine. You be South Africa, 38 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,417 and you can also secretly run the moon. 39 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,669 The Moon accepts your ridiculous proposal. 40 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:19,921 Ron! You wanna join us? 41 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,539 Look! I'll let you be America. 44 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,796 but that there should be a World-wide super-government? 45 00:01:28,847 --> 00:01:31,299 I'd rather sand down my toenails. 46 00:01:31,350 --> 00:01:34,218 Every three weeks, I have to sand down my toenails. 47 00:01:34,953 --> 00:01:36,721 They're too strong for clippers. 48 00:01:36,755 --> 00:01:39,724 [Triumphant music] 49 00:01:39,758 --> 00:01:44,982 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 50 00:01:58,309 --> 00:01:59,043 Excuse me. 51 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,245 Are you Leslie Knope? Oh, what am I talking about? 52 00:02:01,279 --> 00:02:04,482 - Of course you are. - Bonjour, Madame Ambassadeur. 53 00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:06,300 Thank you so much for coming 54 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,519 and trying to help save our club. 55 00:02:08,554 --> 00:02:09,837 We're so excited to see 56 00:02:09,888 --> 00:02:11,973 a true Pawnee Model U.N. legend in action. 57 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,257 - Thank you. - I really wouldn't describe myself 58 00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:15,426 as a Model U.N. legend. 59 00:02:15,461 --> 00:02:18,179 I'd go with icon. Or hero. 60 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:21,332 Look, if you ask me, Enron is down but not out. 61 00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:23,501 Who doesn't like a comeback story? 62 00:02:23,535 --> 00:02:26,204 All right, you wanna hear my plan, get at me later. 63 00:02:26,238 --> 00:02:27,738 I gotta meet up with an old friend. 64 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,023 All right, peace, man. 65 00:02:29,574 --> 00:02:30,875 Let's go do this lunch thing. 66 00:02:30,909 --> 00:02:32,777 I just have one more quick interview. 67 00:02:32,811 --> 00:02:35,379 I'm still trying to find your replacement. 68 00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:38,449 That is, unless you want your old job back. 69 00:02:38,484 --> 00:02:40,618 I told you before, Ronseph, I moved on to bigger things. 70 00:02:40,652 --> 00:02:43,671 E720 going under was a blessing. 71 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,790 I'm tearing it up all over town like a boss. 72 00:02:45,824 --> 00:02:47,758 Sounds great, Tommy. 73 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,545 I've offered Tom his job back several times, 74 00:02:50,596 --> 00:02:52,597 and each time he's told me he's just too busy 75 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,382 being an entrepreneur. 76 00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:55,733 Then two days ago, 77 00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:58,769 I saw him spraying cologne samples at Macy's. 78 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,439 The young man has a lot of pride. 79 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,541 This isn't gonna be easy. 80 00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:05,442 Ann Perkins. 81 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,811 - Hey, Chris, how's it going? - Not good. 82 00:03:06,845 --> 00:03:08,246 - Can I talk to you? - Okay. 83 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:10,014 I'm not sure if you're aware, 84 00:03:10,048 --> 00:03:11,382 but I am romantically involved 85 00:03:11,616 --> 00:03:14,017 with Jerry Gergich's surprisingly hot daughter 86 00:03:14,051 --> 00:03:15,185 - Millicent Gergich. - Yeah. 87 00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:16,553 You were grinding with her pretty hard 88 00:03:16,588 --> 00:03:18,021 at April's Halloween party. 89 00:03:18,055 --> 00:03:20,524 That's correct. Anyway, we've been on four dates, 90 00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:21,509 but now Millicent Gergich 91 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,660 hasn't returned my last two phone calls. 92 00:03:23,695 --> 00:03:25,746 I think the relationship may be in trouble, 93 00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:26,997 and I don't know why. 94 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,799 Wow. A four-date-long relationship 95 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,834 might not be 100% perfect? 96 00:03:30,869 --> 00:03:33,670 I think you should launch a full-scale investigation. 97 00:03:33,705 --> 00:03:36,307 The root of sarcasm is truth, Ann. 98 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,593 I am going to launch a full-scale investigation. 99 00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,645 And I sincerely thank you for that suggestion. 100 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,548 Glad I could help in these trying times. 101 00:03:44,582 --> 00:03:46,384 [Laughs] Sarcasm again! 102 00:03:46,418 --> 00:03:49,353 You're a delight. 103 00:03:49,388 --> 00:03:51,622 You've all been preparing for months 104 00:03:51,656 --> 00:03:53,474 for this year's geopolitical scenario... 105 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,459 global food crisis. 106 00:03:55,494 --> 00:03:59,029 Security Council, we need you to lead us, 107 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:01,565 or billions of people will starve to death. 108 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,702 But most importantly, have fun. 109 00:04:04,736 --> 00:04:06,303 Due to my campaign, 110 00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:08,939 the romantic aspect of our relationship is over. 111 00:04:08,974 --> 00:04:10,408 And I'm totally fine with that. 112 00:04:10,442 --> 00:04:12,343 But Ben and I have so much in common. 113 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,828 I mean, we're amazing friends. 114 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,212 And friendship is better 115 00:04:15,247 --> 00:04:17,047 because friends help you move. 116 00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,467 They drive you to the airport. 117 00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:23,254 Boyfriends just... love you and marry you. 118 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,558 Jerry! I am launching a full-scale investigation 119 00:04:27,592 --> 00:04:29,226 into my romantic relationship with your daughter 120 00:04:29,261 --> 00:04:30,561 Millicent Gergich, 121 00:04:30,595 --> 00:04:32,346 and I thought I could pick your brain. 122 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,898 Aw, jeez, I really shouldn't be involved in someth... 123 00:04:33,932 --> 00:04:36,233 Quick recap... things were going wonderfully. 124 00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:38,102 We clicked on an emotional level. 125 00:04:38,136 --> 00:04:40,438 And then suddenly, I just stopped hearing from her. 126 00:04:40,472 --> 00:04:43,324 Now, you must know her pretty well... what gives? 127 00:04:43,358 --> 00:04:44,542 Here's what I saw go down. 128 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,026 Donna! Yeah! Get in on this. 129 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,361 You're too accessible. 130 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,280 Every time she calls, you answer. 131 00:04:49,314 --> 00:04:51,215 You gotta dangle the carrot, 132 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,716 literally and metaphorically. 133 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,335 - Thank you, Donna! - Thanks, Donna. 134 00:04:54,369 --> 00:04:56,954 So...Courtney. 135 00:04:56,988 --> 00:04:59,256 This says you retired in 1968. 136 00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:00,624 No, no, no. 137 00:05:00,659 --> 00:05:04,595 I was fired because I made a pass at an ethnic woman. 138 00:05:04,629 --> 00:05:07,898 And what have you been doing for the last 43 years? 139 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,867 Oh, you know, hitchhiking around. 140 00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:12,937 I went to Mexico. I met a lot of ethnic girls. 141 00:05:12,971 --> 00:05:15,105 They grow on trees down there. 142 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,807 I was in jail for a spell... 143 00:05:16,841 --> 00:05:19,477 That about brings it up to date. 144 00:05:19,511 --> 00:05:20,844 Sounds to me like you're ready 145 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,613 to get back in the game, Courtney. 146 00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:24,682 We'll be in touch. 147 00:05:26,184 --> 00:05:28,068 Another very strong candidate. 148 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,487 Are you insane? 149 00:05:29,521 --> 00:05:30,988 He was a million-year-old racist! 150 00:05:31,022 --> 00:05:33,724 He said he liked ethnic girls, Tom. 151 00:05:33,758 --> 00:05:35,426 I'm sorry, Ron, but I created a legacy here, 152 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,827 and I need to make sure it's protected. 153 00:05:37,361 --> 00:05:38,462 Let's bring in some more people. 154 00:05:38,897 --> 00:05:39,797 In my four years here, 155 00:05:39,831 --> 00:05:42,233 I revolutionized the position of administrator 156 00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:43,667 and made this place cool. 157 00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,135 I was the first person 158 00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:46,604 to abbreviate Parks and Recreation Department. 159 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,072 First it was Parks and Recreation. 160 00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:49,306 Then Parks and Rec. 161 00:05:49,341 --> 00:05:50,741 Then P&R. 162 00:05:50,775 --> 00:05:53,343 Then lengthened it just a little bit to... [Snaps] 163 00:05:53,377 --> 00:05:54,745 Tommy's place. 164 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:56,847 Okay, wait a minute. I think I have it. 165 00:05:56,881 --> 00:05:58,315 What if we dropped interest rates. 166 00:05:58,350 --> 00:05:59,617 - Would that help you? - Maybe. 167 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,318 But what if Brazil and Argentina 168 00:06:01,353 --> 00:06:03,437 use their oil deposits as collateral? 169 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,122 Oh, that's really good. 170 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,624 Under-exaggerate much, France? 171 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:07,791 Ha ha! 172 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,443 Nice! 173 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,611 [Firing sounds] 174 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:12,162 Hey, Leslie, you ready? [Slap] 175 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,697 - Oh! - Ow. - Sorry. - That's okay. 176 00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:14,949 - Hi, William. - Hi. You ready? 177 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,452 Yes. Absolutely. Um...They want me to do a photo op 178 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,670 for the campaign 179 00:06:19,705 --> 00:06:21,539 so I can bolster my education credentials. 180 00:06:21,573 --> 00:06:24,208 - Can we just press pause here? - How long is it gonna take? 181 00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:24,876 I'm not really sure. 182 00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:26,928 Can you just tread water until I'm ready? 183 00:06:26,962 --> 00:06:28,246 Oh, sure, yeah. 184 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,597 I'll just tread water until you're ready. 185 00:06:29,631 --> 00:06:30,715 Thanks, buddy. 186 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,883 Leslie and I aren't dating anymore, 187 00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:34,351 but, uh, we're friends. 188 00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:36,353 So it's fun. It's just fun. 189 00:06:36,388 --> 00:06:40,057 It's fun... it's... fun... 190 00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:41,959 It is fun. 191 00:06:41,993 --> 00:06:43,861 Thanks a lot. 192 00:06:43,895 --> 00:06:45,229 Yes! 193 00:06:45,263 --> 00:06:49,033 Honey! I just traded Finland's military to Kenya 194 00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:51,368 for 50 lions. 195 00:06:51,903 --> 00:06:53,237 That's pretty good, right? 196 00:06:53,271 --> 00:06:54,989 - Yeah... - Okay. 197 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,374 But also militaries are pretty good 198 00:06:57,409 --> 00:06:59,043 at protecting countries. 199 00:06:59,077 --> 00:07:00,611 But so are lions. 200 00:07:00,645 --> 00:07:02,329 And you don't have to pay them. 201 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,647 These kids are idiots. 202 00:07:03,682 --> 00:07:05,382 I've just traded all of Finland's boring stuff 203 00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:07,251 for every other country's lions? 204 00:07:07,285 --> 00:07:09,486 I definitely have more lions 205 00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:11,622 than any other country in the whole world right now. 206 00:07:11,656 --> 00:07:13,057 I have no idea what's going on. 207 00:07:13,091 --> 00:07:15,059 But if that ends up meaning something in this game, 208 00:07:15,493 --> 00:07:17,494 I'd say I'm set. 209 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,980 [Camera lens clicking] 210 00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:21,398 Hey, so Russia and China 211 00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:22,850 are about to propose their own plan, 212 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,602 so the kids kinda want to get ours out there. 213 00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:27,404 Oh, okay... this should probably only take five more minutes. 214 00:07:27,439 --> 00:07:29,023 Let's say 10 or 15 to be safe. 215 00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,824 Well, how about me make it a cool 40? 216 00:07:30,859 --> 00:07:32,526 I'm sorry. It's just important. 217 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,945 Well, this is important too. It's kinda why we came here. 218 00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:36,997 I'm sorry, could you... Just step over here? 219 00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:39,500 - You're in the shot. - Oh, of course. 220 00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:41,368 Her life is so awesome. 221 00:07:42,119 --> 00:07:43,020 You're lucky you're friends with her. 222 00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:45,589 Shut up, Bulgaria! 223 00:07:48,453 --> 00:07:50,552 I know, well, that's the great thing about treaties, 224 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,270 - It doesn't even matter. - Hey! I'm back. 225 00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,155 Or, as they say in Denmark... "I'm back." 226 00:07:54,189 --> 00:07:55,422 Most people speak English. 227 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,391 So are you guys ready to polish off this treaty? 228 00:07:57,425 --> 00:08:00,844 Oh, uh... actually, I merged our treaty 229 00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:03,314 with Russia and China's treaty. 230 00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,366 I got cut out of my own treaty? 231 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,451 Yeah. I got sick of treading water, 232 00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:10,738 so I swam over to Asia, made a deal. 233 00:08:11,772 --> 00:08:14,374 The nation of Denmark would like to formerly request 234 00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:15,910 a summit with the nation of Peru 235 00:08:15,944 --> 00:08:17,911 over there by the refreshment table. 236 00:08:17,945 --> 00:08:20,715 Because the nation of Denmark needs a juice box. 237 00:08:21,449 --> 00:08:23,417 I am shocked an appalled by the actions 238 00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:25,519 of the honorable delegate from Peru. 239 00:08:25,553 --> 00:08:27,521 Leslie, just... 240 00:08:27,555 --> 00:08:29,489 look... 241 00:08:29,524 --> 00:08:31,341 I thought I could handle being friends with you. 242 00:08:31,392 --> 00:08:33,760 But I can't, okay? 243 00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:35,028 Now, we agreed the other night 244 00:08:35,063 --> 00:08:38,198 that we can't spend time together. 245 00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:40,067 I think that was the right call. 246 00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:41,351 But that was in a romantic way. 247 00:08:41,402 --> 00:08:43,670 We can still spend time together as friends. 248 00:08:43,705 --> 00:08:45,105 It doesn't work that way. 249 00:08:45,139 --> 00:08:47,241 You can't just chop up the aspects of a relationship 250 00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:48,525 into discrete parts 251 00:08:48,576 --> 00:08:51,028 and select the ones you want like a buffet. 252 00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:54,281 - Why not? - Because it's selfish. 253 00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:56,850 Stop being obtuse. 254 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,885 Look, I understand where he's coming from. 255 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,921 But I have been nothing but straightforward with him, 256 00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:03,123 and if anyone in the entire world 257 00:09:03,157 --> 00:09:05,626 should understand the difficult position I'm in, it's... 258 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,378 It's just I've made an effort 259 00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,347 and I've shared my flags with him, 260 00:09:10,381 --> 00:09:12,232 and suddenly, he doesn't want to be friends? 261 00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:12,967 You know what? 262 00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:15,302 That leaves me with only one option. 263 00:09:15,336 --> 00:09:17,137 Just excuse me for a... 264 00:09:18,239 --> 00:09:20,541 Attention. This is an urgent world matter. 265 00:09:20,575 --> 00:09:22,859 Due to a recent betrayal, my homeland, 266 00:09:22,894 --> 00:09:23,944 the great state of Denmark, 267 00:09:23,979 --> 00:09:27,230 has officially decided to declare war on Peru. 268 00:09:27,282 --> 00:09:30,584 Scandinavian brothers, on my signal. 269 00:09:30,618 --> 00:09:32,486 Unleash hell! 270 00:09:34,789 --> 00:09:37,574 See, I just don't believe in this whole 271 00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:39,626 don't let people know how you feel nonsense. 272 00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,595 I love telling people how I feel. 273 00:09:41,629 --> 00:09:42,862 Mostly because I love most people. 274 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,381 And I love telling them that I love them. 275 00:09:44,415 --> 00:09:45,932 You didn't tell that girl you love her, did you? 276 00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:47,968 - No. I'm not crazy. - What is this urgent meeting 277 00:09:48,002 --> 00:09:49,419 with Donna and Jerry? 278 00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:50,754 Ann Perkins. I took your advice. 279 00:09:50,806 --> 00:09:52,573 - My sarcastic advice. - Precisely. 280 00:09:52,607 --> 00:09:53,508 And we're getting to the bottom 281 00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:55,926 of what's going on with me and Jerry's daughter, 282 00:09:55,977 --> 00:09:57,427 and I thought you would be a tremendous addition 283 00:09:57,478 --> 00:09:58,646 to this think tank. 284 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,647 This is incredibly inappropriate. 285 00:10:00,682 --> 00:10:02,766 - Oh, thank you! - Okay, I'm game. 286 00:10:04,218 --> 00:10:05,819 No. I'm not kidding. 287 00:10:05,853 --> 00:10:07,771 My name's Gary, and I'm from Gary, Indiana. 288 00:10:07,822 --> 00:10:08,772 Amazing. 289 00:10:08,824 --> 00:10:10,057 People like hearing that. 290 00:10:10,091 --> 00:10:12,192 It's probably one of my stronger anecdotes. 291 00:10:12,226 --> 00:10:15,195 A fact is not an anecdote, Gary. 292 00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:16,446 Here's an anecdote... 293 00:10:16,497 --> 00:10:18,699 Today I met the most boring man in the world. 294 00:10:18,733 --> 00:10:20,267 His name was Gary. 295 00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:21,268 Hmm. 296 00:10:21,302 --> 00:10:23,270 Now... 297 00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:24,705 Keith. 298 00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:26,173 Under sex, you wrote... 299 00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:29,209 "Yes. Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha." 300 00:10:29,243 --> 00:10:31,294 - Well-played. - Thank you. 301 00:10:31,346 --> 00:10:33,113 Ah, but all jokes aside. 302 00:10:33,147 --> 00:10:36,383 I'm a boy. [Laughs] 303 00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:38,018 Keith, I had this job for four years. 304 00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:40,454 And I can tell you, you get out of it what you put into it. 305 00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:41,955 What are you hoping to get out of it? 306 00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,390 In like a month or so. 307 00:10:43,424 --> 00:10:45,058 - What? - Oh...What! 308 00:10:45,093 --> 00:10:47,994 What am I hoping to get out of this job? 309 00:10:48,029 --> 00:10:49,363 Yeah. 310 00:10:49,397 --> 00:10:51,531 Yeah. Like one... one month of money... 311 00:10:51,566 --> 00:10:53,367 Would be... would be just right. 312 00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:55,202 Let me give you a situation. 313 00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:58,138 You're hosting a town hall meeting for local businesses. 314 00:10:58,172 --> 00:10:59,406 Uh... That's so much stuff. 315 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,459 [Laughs] You just, uh... kept on going. 316 00:11:02,493 --> 00:11:03,710 That was like one thing. 317 00:11:03,745 --> 00:11:05,212 I didn't even get to the situation yet. 318 00:11:05,246 --> 00:11:07,831 Oh! All right. 319 00:11:07,882 --> 00:11:09,683 Well, thanks, guys. [Clears throat] 320 00:11:09,717 --> 00:11:12,836 I think we've all seen enough. 321 00:11:12,887 --> 00:11:15,055 Still not totally sure what I'm applying for. 322 00:11:15,089 --> 00:11:18,425 But...if you ask me, I think it went pretty well. 323 00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:21,645 What we need to focus on is how to destroy Peru, 324 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,764 specifically one person who lives there. 325 00:11:23,798 --> 00:11:25,982 Madame Ambassador, are you changing the scenario? 326 00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:28,068 We didn't prepare for this. 327 00:11:28,102 --> 00:11:30,320 Global politics can change, and scenarios can arise 328 00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:32,773 and suddenly you're just like, "wait, I thought this one thing, 329 00:11:32,807 --> 00:11:34,274 "but look over there. That's a different thing, 330 00:11:34,308 --> 00:11:35,909 and it's changing everything," and I'm like, "what?" 331 00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:39,079 Hold up." Who has tanks for me? 332 00:11:39,113 --> 00:11:40,614 I-I'm sorry, but... 333 00:11:40,648 --> 00:11:42,699 We're gonna keep trying to solve the food crisis. 334 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:45,035 Food schmood. This is war. 335 00:11:45,086 --> 00:11:47,704 God, it's time for you to nut up, Switzerland. 336 00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:49,506 Well, well, well, look who is brave enough 337 00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,091 to show his face in Europe. 338 00:11:51,125 --> 00:11:52,526 Say the word, Leslie. 339 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,045 I'll sick my army of lions on him. 340 00:11:55,096 --> 00:11:56,630 Okay, look, I think, um... 341 00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:59,366 Things are starting to get a little out of control here. 342 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,700 I agree. You betrayed me, 343 00:12:00,735 --> 00:12:03,437 and you went behind my back, and now you need to pay. 344 00:12:03,471 --> 00:12:04,688 I need to... I need to pay. 345 00:12:04,722 --> 00:12:06,206 Do I stutter? 346 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,691 Oh. Okay. Fair enough. 347 00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:09,776 Oh, you know what? You might wanna borrow this. 348 00:12:09,811 --> 00:12:11,645 Ew, no one wants your dirty underwear, Ben. 349 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,980 It's not dirty underwear. It's a white flag, 350 00:12:14,015 --> 00:12:15,615 and you may as well start waving it right now... 351 00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,117 the only thing I will be waving 352 00:12:17,151 --> 00:12:18,652 is your decapitated head on a stick 353 00:12:18,686 --> 00:12:21,488 in front of your weeping mother! 354 00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,124 Good lord. 355 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,624 They were duds, Ron. 356 00:12:25,693 --> 00:12:26,993 Really, anything would be better 357 00:12:27,028 --> 00:12:28,495 than the people we interviewed today. 358 00:12:28,529 --> 00:12:30,263 I guess you're right, Tom. 359 00:12:30,298 --> 00:12:31,715 I'm not gonna find another you. 360 00:12:31,749 --> 00:12:33,066 You were perfect. 361 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,253 Competent enough to keep the bosses off my back, 362 00:12:36,304 --> 00:12:39,105 but selfish enough to slow down all the work. 363 00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:41,141 Tom Haverfords don't grow on trees. 364 00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:43,343 If they did, I'd sell 'em. 365 00:12:43,377 --> 00:12:44,845 Tommy trees. 366 00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:46,746 Would you consider coming back? 367 00:12:47,481 --> 00:12:49,483 Sorry, Ron. No can do. 368 00:12:49,517 --> 00:12:51,518 I'm like a shark. I don't swim backwards. 369 00:12:51,552 --> 00:12:53,687 See ya later, man. 370 00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,424 We've been making great strides 371 00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:59,493 with genetically modified crops 372 00:12:59,527 --> 00:13:02,128 and would gladly pledge to continue the growth of... 373 00:13:02,163 --> 00:13:03,463 excuse me, Madame Ambassador. 374 00:13:03,498 --> 00:13:04,731 - Excuse me. - I'm not finished. 375 00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:05,999 Oh, really? 376 00:13:06,033 --> 00:13:08,101 Then why do I have the microphone? 377 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:12,289 I move that the Security Council formally condemn Denmark 378 00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,757 and stop them from making 379 00:13:13,791 --> 00:13:16,510 any more unwarranted acts of aggression. 380 00:13:16,544 --> 00:13:19,179 As long as you quit derailing the conference. 381 00:13:19,213 --> 00:13:20,964 People are dying of hunger in Africa. 382 00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:22,516 Oh, cry me a river. 383 00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,017 All in favor of the resolution. 384 00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:27,921 - What?! - Oh, that's interesting. 385 00:13:27,939 --> 00:13:30,857 The resolution passes with flying colors. 386 00:13:30,892 --> 00:13:33,443 Denmark is formally condemned. 387 00:13:33,477 --> 00:13:35,028 Bam! 388 00:13:36,797 --> 00:13:39,199 That's no problemo, Peru, 389 00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:42,202 because Denmark no longer recognizes the authority 390 00:13:42,236 --> 00:13:44,104 of this international gang of thugs. 391 00:13:44,138 --> 00:13:46,606 And history will be unkind to those 392 00:13:46,624 --> 00:13:48,625 who stand opposed to justice. 393 00:13:48,659 --> 00:13:51,962 Together, we stand... and I ask all of you... 394 00:13:51,996 --> 00:13:55,615 who is ready to join the Coalition of the Willing? 395 00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:57,450 [Pounding shoe] 396 00:13:57,468 --> 00:14:00,053 The Moon shall join your coalition. 397 00:14:00,087 --> 00:14:01,471 Yeah! We got the freaking moon. 398 00:14:01,505 --> 00:14:04,291 What are you gonna do without tides, Peru? 399 00:14:04,325 --> 00:14:06,810 Okay. We need to stop dealing in hypotheticals. 400 00:14:06,844 --> 00:14:09,796 Ann, we dated. What happened to us? 401 00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:12,632 Really? Do you... wanna get real? 402 00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:14,851 Sure. Sounds like fun. 403 00:14:14,902 --> 00:14:17,520 Sometimes your relentless cheeriness is confusing. 404 00:14:17,972 --> 00:14:19,372 Like that time we went to Eagleton 405 00:14:19,407 --> 00:14:21,641 and we got that hotel room with the jacuzzi... 406 00:14:21,659 --> 00:14:23,193 Ooh, this just got real good! 407 00:14:23,244 --> 00:14:24,828 - And the jacuzzi broke. - [Sighs] 408 00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,997 But I did... eat food off of your body. 409 00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:29,649 - Oh, come on. - All right, Chris and Ann! 410 00:14:29,684 --> 00:14:31,918 I just wanna go back to work. 411 00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:33,503 So the Coalition of the Willing 412 00:14:33,537 --> 00:14:35,855 is Denmark, Botswana, and the Moon. 413 00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:37,207 The big three. 414 00:14:37,258 --> 00:14:38,758 Now, here's what we're gonna do. 415 00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:41,344 Ben is probably shoring up his support in South America. 416 00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:43,013 While he does that, we are gonna make sure... 417 00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:45,181 [pounding] Attention! 418 00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:47,550 The Security Council has decided to expel 419 00:14:47,602 --> 00:14:50,503 Peru and Denmark from the United Nations. 420 00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:52,389 Madame Ambassadeur... Pourquoi? 421 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,841 'Cause you guys suck. Look around. 422 00:14:55,359 --> 00:14:58,278 We thought you were gonna teach us how to solve problems. 423 00:14:58,312 --> 00:15:01,364 You've ruined my favorite club. Thanks a lot. 424 00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:03,683 Did we win? 425 00:15:03,718 --> 00:15:05,885 I think we won! 426 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,039 What were we trying to do? I learned so much today. 427 00:15:14,816 --> 00:15:16,684 I just wanted to say 428 00:15:16,735 --> 00:15:18,485 that I thought it was really cool 429 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,738 how everything fell apart in there. 430 00:15:22,741 --> 00:15:24,408 And also, maybe you should talk to Ben. 431 00:15:24,442 --> 00:15:26,944 No. He's being a jerk. 432 00:15:26,978 --> 00:15:29,280 Please? When Ben gets upset, 433 00:15:29,314 --> 00:15:31,715 he becomes a really bad roommate. 434 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:33,851 He takes really long sadness baths 435 00:15:33,885 --> 00:15:36,320 and makes me late for stuff. 436 00:15:36,354 --> 00:15:38,322 [Sighs] 437 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:40,391 I hate it here. 438 00:15:40,425 --> 00:15:42,559 Can't wait to graduate. 439 00:15:44,195 --> 00:15:48,832 Yeah, but summer's gonna totally kick ass. 440 00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:50,501 So you're saying 441 00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:52,669 that I intimidated you? 442 00:15:52,687 --> 00:15:54,188 - No. Not exactly. - Come on. 443 00:15:54,222 --> 00:15:56,607 Talk more about that tantric workshop y'all went to. 444 00:15:56,641 --> 00:15:58,609 I was so into you, okay, 445 00:15:58,643 --> 00:16:01,445 and you basically turned me into a female version of yourself, 446 00:16:01,479 --> 00:16:02,646 and then you got bored dating me 447 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,182 because you were dating yourself. 448 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,550 Huh... 449 00:16:06,584 --> 00:16:08,552 I mean, I was jogging. I hate jogging. 450 00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:11,789 - [Laughs] Jogging's amazing! - Jogging is the worst, Chris. 451 00:16:11,823 --> 00:16:12,856 I mean, I know it keeps you healthy, 452 00:16:12,891 --> 00:16:14,291 but God, at what cost? 453 00:16:14,326 --> 00:16:16,627 Well, I'm sorry that I added five years to your life. 454 00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:18,962 Now I'm being sarcastic. 455 00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:20,998 Like you. I'm doing something that you like. 456 00:16:21,032 --> 00:16:22,216 Being with you 457 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,301 definitely made me do a lot of soul-searching, 458 00:16:24,336 --> 00:16:25,869 and I came out the other side 459 00:16:25,904 --> 00:16:28,038 being a much more self-possessed person. 460 00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:29,073 Well, I'm glad. 461 00:16:29,107 --> 00:16:31,759 Good luck with Millicent. Just back off a little bit. 462 00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:34,144 Let her be herself. Everything'll be fine. 463 00:16:34,179 --> 00:16:36,080 Thank you. 464 00:16:36,114 --> 00:16:38,148 If you rearrange the letters of Peru, 465 00:16:38,183 --> 00:16:40,434 you could spell Europe. 466 00:16:40,485 --> 00:16:41,769 That's... That's not true. 467 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,720 Well... You have to rearrange them. 468 00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:45,272 - Oh... - Delegates! 469 00:16:45,323 --> 00:16:47,224 I know that you're angry with each other. 470 00:16:47,242 --> 00:16:48,592 Hopefully, this will be your opportunity 471 00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:51,445 to have your very own Camp David. 472 00:16:51,496 --> 00:16:52,896 In high school, 473 00:16:52,931 --> 00:16:54,231 my buddy David Fundis would have 474 00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:56,066 these campouts in his backyard. 475 00:16:56,084 --> 00:16:59,069 We would just chill out, have a bonfire, 476 00:16:59,087 --> 00:17:01,271 talk about whatever was on our mind. 477 00:17:01,306 --> 00:17:04,074 We called it camp David. 478 00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:05,676 How do you know about Camp David? 479 00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,177 How do you know about camp David? 480 00:17:07,212 --> 00:17:08,929 Ooookay. 481 00:17:08,963 --> 00:17:11,014 You guys are being stupid, so why don't you work it out 482 00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:15,302 - while Andy and I... - Throw these scientist bottles 483 00:17:15,353 --> 00:17:16,303 - off the roof? - No. 484 00:17:16,354 --> 00:17:17,654 That's right. See ya. 485 00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:21,658 Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. [Running footsteps] 486 00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:23,160 It's bad enough that we can't be together, 487 00:17:23,195 --> 00:17:26,363 but the thought of us not being friends is... 488 00:17:26,398 --> 00:17:28,332 Is just too crappy for me to handle. 489 00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:30,801 I was... perhaps 490 00:17:30,835 --> 00:17:33,270 a little icier than I needed to be. 491 00:17:33,304 --> 00:17:35,639 I just need you to be in my life. 492 00:17:35,673 --> 00:17:38,108 You're too important to me. 493 00:17:38,143 --> 00:17:39,843 I wish I could say it's possible. 494 00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:41,812 I just... I don't know if it is right now. 495 00:17:41,846 --> 00:17:43,847 [Exhales] 496 00:17:43,882 --> 00:17:46,049 Well, I propose a treaty 497 00:17:46,084 --> 00:17:49,119 that states that we have a fun conversation 498 00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:52,789 once a day at work for five minutes. 499 00:17:52,807 --> 00:17:55,492 I'll take it to the Peruvian senate. 500 00:17:55,527 --> 00:17:56,727 Or whatever. 501 00:17:56,761 --> 00:17:57,828 - Please do that. - I'll try. 502 00:17:57,862 --> 00:17:58,979 I'll see what they say. 503 00:17:59,013 --> 00:18:01,148 What do we do with those kids? 504 00:18:01,182 --> 00:18:02,632 We totally ruined their club. 505 00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:05,169 I could tell you what I would like when I was their age. 506 00:18:05,203 --> 00:18:06,904 Ben, how are we gonna get Kathy Ireland 507 00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:08,906 to do naked aerobics for them? 508 00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:11,508 Okay. I regret telling you that... very much. 509 00:18:11,543 --> 00:18:13,160 [Both laughing] 510 00:18:13,194 --> 00:18:14,661 Hey. 511 00:18:14,696 --> 00:18:16,330 Oh, hey, Ron. 512 00:18:16,364 --> 00:18:18,648 All right. I gotta come clean. 513 00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:21,752 I saw you spraying cologne samples at Macy's. 514 00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:23,887 What? Macy's? That wasn't me. 515 00:18:23,922 --> 00:18:26,323 There's a Macy's in town? Where's the Macy's in town? 516 00:18:26,357 --> 00:18:28,559 I heard they have an amazing cologne sample guy. 517 00:18:28,593 --> 00:18:31,361 Just take the job, Tommy. Come on back. 518 00:18:31,396 --> 00:18:33,096 I quit to peruse my dream. 519 00:18:33,131 --> 00:18:35,566 And my dream collapsed. It's embarrassing, Ron. 520 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,852 I can't go from a CEO back to being an administrator. 521 00:18:38,887 --> 00:18:40,338 Is there anything I can do 522 00:18:40,372 --> 00:18:44,007 to make you feel okay about coming back? 523 00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:45,576 Everyone, please... 524 00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,394 Help me. 525 00:18:47,445 --> 00:18:49,613 I'm trying to get Tom back. 526 00:18:49,647 --> 00:18:51,732 I'm... 527 00:18:51,783 --> 00:18:53,917 begging. 528 00:18:53,952 --> 00:18:56,353 This department just doesn't work without you. 529 00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:58,021 What do you say? 530 00:18:58,056 --> 00:19:01,391 Ron, this is embarrassing. Even for you. 531 00:19:02,026 --> 00:19:04,094 I'm not coming back. 532 00:19:04,128 --> 00:19:06,497 Peace out, my dudes. 533 00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:10,968 Excuse me, everyone. 534 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,224 That was great. 535 00:19:17,258 --> 00:19:18,942 So what I'm thinking is I'll come back in a few days, 536 00:19:18,977 --> 00:19:19,943 you'll beg me again... 537 00:19:19,978 --> 00:19:21,078 aah! 538 00:19:21,112 --> 00:19:22,980 So if it's okay with you guys, 539 00:19:23,014 --> 00:19:25,115 I would like to ask Ron for my job back. 540 00:19:25,149 --> 00:19:26,400 Ron... 541 00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:29,019 May I have my job back, please? 542 00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:32,956 Thank you. 543 00:19:32,991 --> 00:19:35,559 I will see you all Monday. 544 00:19:35,593 --> 00:19:38,662 Looking forward to it. 545 00:19:39,697 --> 00:19:40,897 Ah, France, 546 00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:41,949 bienvenue. 547 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,283 My name is Cassidy, 548 00:19:43,334 --> 00:19:45,068 - and I'm really annoyed with you. - Yes. 549 00:19:45,086 --> 00:19:46,454 And you have every right to be, 550 00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:47,856 but we're hoping what we're gonna show you right now 551 00:19:47,907 --> 00:19:49,674 will make up for that. 552 00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:52,426 - What? - Oh, my God! 553 00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:54,628 Pawnee City Council chambers. 554 00:19:54,679 --> 00:19:58,181 The nicest room in City Hall by a factor of like a million. 555 00:19:58,516 --> 00:20:00,601 Go ahead. Sit down. 556 00:20:00,635 --> 00:20:02,919 Leslie and I feel terrible 557 00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:05,105 for war breaking out at your Model U.N. 558 00:20:05,139 --> 00:20:06,990 Which, for the record, Denmark would have won, 559 00:20:07,025 --> 00:20:08,275 but that's neither here nor there. 560 00:20:08,309 --> 00:20:09,760 Thanks to a coordinated effort 561 00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:12,496 between the parks department and the city manager's office, 562 00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:14,097 three months from now, we are gonna hold 563 00:20:14,132 --> 00:20:16,934 a State-wide Model U.N. In this room, 564 00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:19,036 - and you're gonna run the show. - What? 565 00:20:19,071 --> 00:20:22,005 And we will just be... not here. 566 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,174 - Or taking some small countries. - No, no, no, no. 567 00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:25,375 No. Fine. Not here. 568 00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:27,444 - Sound good? Kids: Yes! 569 00:20:27,478 --> 00:20:29,779 Those kids are passionate about something. 570 00:20:29,797 --> 00:20:31,048 That's important. 571 00:20:31,082 --> 00:20:34,785 That's all there is, really, is passion. 572 00:20:34,803 --> 00:20:37,838 Passion is what makes for good treaties... 573 00:20:37,889 --> 00:20:39,840 - Cheese! - Good relationships... 574 00:20:39,891 --> 00:20:41,141 Good pizza. 575 00:20:41,175 --> 00:20:42,492 Good friends. 576 00:20:42,527 --> 00:20:44,161 Good everything. 577 00:20:44,195 --> 00:20:46,030 Including wars. 578 00:20:46,185 --> 00:20:48,619 ♪ 579 00:20:49,988 --> 00:20:51,008 Ladies and Gentlemen, 580 00:20:51,088 --> 00:20:52,555 "He was gone but never forgotten." 581 00:20:52,589 --> 00:20:53,973 "He makes all the ladies want..." 582 00:20:54,024 --> 00:20:55,474 No, I'm not gonna say that. 583 00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,127 "Swagger... beats... 584 00:20:58,161 --> 00:21:00,563 and I get the... Who's the..." 585 00:21:00,597 --> 00:21:01,930 All right, forget it. 586 00:21:01,948 --> 00:21:03,932 Welcome back, Tom Haverford! 587 00:21:05,318 --> 00:21:07,670 - Tick-tock, it's Tommy time! 588 00:21:07,704 --> 00:21:09,938 I'm sorry, I have to object again. 589 00:21:09,956 --> 00:21:12,641 This just seems unfair. I understand that, Jerry. 590 00:21:12,676 --> 00:21:14,776 But the problem is is that Tom came back 591 00:21:14,794 --> 00:21:17,413 and Andy's my assistant, so I kinda need him close to me. 592 00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:19,298 Okay, but I can't even hear anything 593 00:21:19,332 --> 00:21:22,084 because of the noise from the copier. 594 00:21:22,118 --> 00:21:24,119 Sorry. These are really important. 595 00:21:24,619 --> 00:21:32,478 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net