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It's The Johnny Karate Super
Awesome Musical Explosion Show.
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00:00:09,065 --> 00:00:11,499
Now, to introduce your host,
Johnny Karate,
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here is me, Perd Hapley!
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Silence!
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Welcome to the only show
that's all about learning,
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00:00:20,877 --> 00:00:23,445
music, animals, fireworks,
water skis,
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and above all, ice cream, pizza,
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00:00:26,682 --> 00:00:28,416
ninjas, getting stronger,
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00:00:28,451 --> 00:00:30,785
sharks versus bears,
and above all...
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- karate!
- Hiya!
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00:00:33,022 --> 00:00:35,924
Now, why don't you kids
help me sing The Welcome Song!
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Let me just grab my guitar.
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Someone has stolen my guitar.
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This seems like a case
for Special Agent...
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Burt Macklin.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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I don't give a crap, Batman.
You work for me.
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Increase the perimeter!
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Macklin, the President's
called six times.
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If we don't get
that guitar back,
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the peace in Iraq
will be canceled.
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Get off my back, Chief!
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I'm doing the best I can.
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I don't play by the rules.
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But I get results.
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Dang it!
You're right again, Macklin.
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And I'm sorry.
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You're the best agent I've seen.
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And I've worked with James Bond.
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- This clue may help.
- Mm.
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It was left at the crime scene.
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You're dismissed.
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This case just keeps getting
deeper and deeper.
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I'm drowning
in the adult end of the pool,
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and the lifeguard's off
in the bathroom pooping.
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That's good writing.
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Johnny Karate's guitar
has been stolen.
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That instrument is worth
literally $900 million.
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But more importantly, he can't
play The Good-bye Song
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without it.
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So, by the time this show
is over,
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I will find who stole it,
and they will pay
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the ultimate price.
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A one-way ticket
to the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank!
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All that and more,
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on The Johnny Karate Super
Awesome Musical Explosion Show!
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♪ It's time to punch boredom
in its stupid face ♪
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00:02:04,747 --> 00:02:07,015
♪ Jump, kick, punch, and jump ♪
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♪ And drop-kick sadness
into outer space ♪
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♪ Punch, kick till you drop ♪
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♪ It's the Johnny Karate
Super Awesome ♪
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♪ Musical Explosion Show ♪
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So, karate masters, you are here
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for an extra-awesome
and super-special episode
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of Johnny Karate.
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And that is because
it's my final show.
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Aw.
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Don't look glum.
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In a couple of weeks, I'll be
moving to Washington, D.C.
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It's the capital
of the entire world.
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They have things there
like this white house
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and this mental institution
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and my very favorite,
the Lincoln Memorial.
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It's this crazy statue
of this giant monster
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sitting on a chair
that represents
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all of America's enemies.
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I'll be moving
to Washington, D.C.,
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because my wife,
April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer,
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has accepted
an amazing job there.
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I'm very proud of her
and totally in love.
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April, why don't you come on out
and talk to the children?
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Take a bow for being so cool.
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Hey, Johnny!
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So, since it's your final show,
I wanted to do
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one last extra-special
April's Animal Corner.
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That's right.
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This week
I brought one of the scariest,
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weirdest animals
in the whole world--
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a goliath
bird-eating tarantula.
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Wow!
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Ah!
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Now, the name, "goliath"
means "giant."
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And you can see that--
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- Andy, where is it?
- What?
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- Uh-oh.
- Where is it?
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Don't look at me.
I don't know what happened.
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I took it out to play
hide-and-seek.
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I couldn't find it,
and then--
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Oh, that's what happened.
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Okay, well, once again,
April's Animal Corner
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has turned into one
of our favorite segments--
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Loose Animal in the Studio.
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Yay!
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And as always,
when we accidentally end up
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doing
Loose Animal in the Studio,
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we have to show you
this disclaimer.
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Boring!
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Here's a disclaimer,
I didn't read this disclaimer.
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Ooh, good point.
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Okay. Done.
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Okay, kids,
so be on the lookout for a--
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What's it called?
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A goliath bird-eating
tarantula,
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known locally to Venezuelans
as "the devil's fist."
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Bye, kids!
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Okay, kids, well,
we've got a lot of work to do,
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performing the Five Karate
Moves to Success.
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Sing it with me!
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♪ Today we're gonna make
something ♪
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♪ Learn something ♪
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♪ Karate chop something ♪
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♪ And then we'll try
something new ♪
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♪ Even if it's scary to you ♪
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♪ And finally
we'll have some fun ♪
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♪ Being nice to someone ♪
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♪ Because that's
the Johnny Karate way ♪
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Step one--
let's go make something.
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Hello, Carpenter Ron.
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How are you doing?
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My contract is very specific.
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I do not have to answer
that question.
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This week I am making
a shadowbox frame,
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which can be used to display
an object of great value.
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This one is constructed
with American cherry wood.
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Cherry, huh?
Now, I have just one question--
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No, the wood does not taste
like cherry.
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You cannot eat it.
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I was not going to eat it,
Carpenter Ron.
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I was going to lick it.
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Always remember, kids,
when you find something new,
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you must lick it
before you eat it.
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That is incorrect
in a number of ways.
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I sure have had some fun
making things with you, son.
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Thank you
for everything you've done
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for the children of this area.
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You're welcome, Carpenter Ron.
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Hey, kids, this, to me,
seems like a...
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♪ Hug moment ♪
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You are mistaken.
Remove the graphic.
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Well, kids, it's time for our
next "Karate Move to Success."
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Let's learn something.
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Hello, Professor Smartbrain.
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Hi, Johnny.
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Listen, I don't know
if you got my email,
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but I thought that
since this is our final show,
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maybe we not use the--
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Boring buzzer.
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Okay, kids, today we're gonna
learn about geography.
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Now, you, Johnny, are moving
to Washington, D.C.
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I thought what we could talk
about is how fast
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you could get there using
an airplane, a train, or a car.
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Now, as you can see,
the airplane is the fastest.
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Not the fastest.
What about teleporting?
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Well, sure,
that would be really fun,
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but it's impossible.
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Nothing is impossible, kids.
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Teleportation is impossible.
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It's about theoretical physics.
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You know, you asked me
to do this. This was a favor--
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Morning, Johnny.
Mail call.
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Ya!
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Hi, Mailman Barry.
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Who brought me mail today?
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Well, Johnny,
you got over 500 letters
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from kids who love you, asking
for you and April to stay.
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Aw, babe, did you hear that?
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Now, Johnny, you also got
one very special letter.
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It's from me.
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And on the last day
of your show,
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I thought I could read it
to you.
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Aw.
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"Dearest Andy, I have never
had a son of my own,
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and I just want you to know
that for the past ten years"--
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It's time to karate chop something!
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Ninjas, attack!
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Oh, jeez.
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Disperse!
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Remember, never attack
a real postal employee.
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We're allowed
to attack Mailman Barry
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because he volunteered to
help us with our karate moves.
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I kind of thought
I'd be holding a piece of wood
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or something, but, you know...
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always happy to help.
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Next up, we're going
to try something new,
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with my good friend
Leslie Knope.
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Hey, Johnny Karate,
I'm so happy to be here
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on your last show ever.
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Hi, Leslie.
I'm glad you're here
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to teach us all how to be brave.
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So, Leslie, what are you going
to be trying new this week?
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I am going to be taking over
hosting my friend's TV show.
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Huh?
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Isn't that right, April?
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That is right.
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Johnny, you have made
so many kids
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and so many parents so happy,
that we wanted to give you
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a proper send-off.
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Andy Dwyer/Johnny Karate,
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this is your life.
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Oh, my gosh, Leslie,
this is amazing.
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I don't know what to say...
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00:08:27,897 --> 00:08:29,765
literally, because normally
I have a script
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that I have to stick to, but...
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I don't know what I'm supposed
to say right now.
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It's kind of a nightmare.
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00:08:36,839 --> 00:08:38,940
Okay, you leave that
to us, Johnny.
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00:08:38,975 --> 00:08:41,009
Uh, when we come back,
we will take a look
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00:08:41,044 --> 00:08:42,978
at the journey of Andy Dwyer.
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00:08:43,012 --> 00:08:44,413
Stay tuned.
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00:08:44,447 --> 00:08:47,282
"Now listen to some words
from our sponsors,"
211
00:08:47,316 --> 00:08:51,286
are the words I'm saying
right now.
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Hire Very Good Building Company
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00:08:53,823 --> 00:08:55,223
for your construction needs.
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00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:56,224
Or do not.
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00:08:56,259 --> 00:08:58,393
I am not a beggar.
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00:09:13,242 --> 00:09:14,643
End of commercial.
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00:09:17,826 --> 00:09:19,858
The Wamapoke people
have a saying--
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00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,461
"Only one who listens
hears the cry of the wolf."
219
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,432
That advice has been passed down
from generation to generation.
220
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,235
Today I give that advice to you.
221
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,372
Listen for Coinsy the Wolf
at Wamapoke Casino.
222
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,675
Twice a day, one lucky visitor
will hit the mega-wolf jackpot.
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00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:39,077
And Coinsy will howl for you!
224
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,258
The thing we return to now
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00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,361
is my Johnny Karate Show
return message.
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00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,331
Welcome back.
When I first met the man
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00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,767
standing next to me, he was not
a cultural phenomenon.
228
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,604
"Phenomenon" means
"to explore a cave."
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00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,172
He was going through
a tough time.
230
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:10,108
He had just broken both legs
from falling into a pit.
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00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,443
I was super wasted.
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00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:12,878
- It's a kids' show, Andy.
- Yes, good call.
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00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,279
- Kids' show.
- Good call.
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00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:18,150
That event set in motion many
wonderful things in my life,
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00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,785
including the building
of the Pawnee Commons.
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00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:24,189
So, in a weird way, Andy,
I owe it all to you.
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00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,224
And now that the show is ending,
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00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,658
I'm gonna have to start
all over again.
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00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,827
Hopefully there's a pit
in Washington, D.C.,
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00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,062
that I could fall into.
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00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:32,798
Andy pulled his life together,
and he got himself a job
242
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,134
at the shoe-shine stand
in City Hall.
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00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,703
He then became
a bureaucratic assistant.
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00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,004
- Hi, honey.
- Hey. Hi.
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00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,939
He was always enthusiastic.
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00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,674
But he also kept track
of his appointments
247
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,710
by writing them on his arm.
248
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,145
Still do.
249
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,446
To commemorate that time
and to make sure
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00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,515
that you never miss
another appointment again,
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00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:53,318
we have brought you
a monogrammed day planner.
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00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:55,554
Guys...
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00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,156
So sweet.
254
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,157
Thank you.
255
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,892
Aw.
256
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,660
Oh, no.
I lost it.
257
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:02,995
The day planner's gone.
I can't find it anywhere.
258
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:06,131
What?
259
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,866
Fitting, really.
260
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,736
From then, Andy went
to England for a few months
261
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,371
to work for a nonprofit.
262
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,906
It was there that he befriended
263
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,708
the 14th Earl
of Cornwall-upon-Thames,
264
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:17,709
Sir Edgar Covington.
265
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,411
Ta-da!
266
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,580
Oh, my God, Eddie,
this is amazing!
267
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:27,619
Andy, I am here in this weird,
flat place,
268
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:32,057
to name you a loyal and true
karate defender
269
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,058
of the Queen's Realm.
270
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,764
Please get down on one knee.
271
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:42,201
This honor is bestowed on those
who have shown great achievement
272
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:46,205
in fields of the arts, learning,
literature, and science.
273
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,308
Therefore, I hereby dub thee
274
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,811
a knight of the Order
of the British Empire.
275
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,280
Hang on,
can you actually do this?
276
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,282
Well, technically, only
the Queen can knight somebody,
277
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,219
but I'm so rich that she lets me
do what I want.
278
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,787
Would you like to be knighted?
279
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,222
Oh, no, no, no, no.
280
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,190
No, of course not.
It's Andy's day.
281
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,225
Dude, I don't mind.
282
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,539
Oh, then, yes,
knight me, please.
283
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,628
Oh, my God, this is amazing!
284
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:12,498
Winter is coming
for Sir Ben Lightstorm.
285
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,799
Okay, you're both knights.
286
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:14,800
Cool.
287
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:17,236
Guys, this was so much fun.
288
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,672
Friend, coworker, musician,
husband, Andy Dwyer--
289
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:21,874
Sir Andy Dwyer.
290
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,776
Sir Andy Dwyer had become
so many things
291
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:24,877
to so many people.
292
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,912
But his greatest creation
was yet to come.
293
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:30,015
A salute to Johnny Karate
when we come back.
294
00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,285
We know what you want--
295
00:12:34,319 --> 00:12:36,720
healthy, natural food
that still tastes great.
296
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,822
And we're here to tell you...
297
00:12:38,857 --> 00:12:41,459
It doesn't exist.
298
00:12:41,493 --> 00:12:43,093
Healthy food is for suckers.
299
00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:44,528
It tastes like garbage,
300
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:47,031
and if you say you like it,
you're a chump and a liar.
301
00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:49,366
Be honest.
This is what you want to eat...
302
00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:53,637
It tastes amazing.
303
00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:55,372
What's in it?
Who cares?
304
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:56,964
How many calories?
Shut up.
305
00:12:57,084 --> 00:12:58,943
It's awesome.
306
00:13:05,172 --> 00:13:07,006
One of Andy's
greatest achievements
307
00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:09,082
was the success of his band,
Mouse Rat.
308
00:13:09,202 --> 00:13:11,025
No one was doing
what we were doing.
309
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,160
Well, that's not really true.
310
00:13:12,194 --> 00:13:13,395
I mean, we were basically
playing covers
311
00:13:13,429 --> 00:13:14,829
of Dave Matthews songs.
312
00:13:14,864 --> 00:13:17,198
So I guess you could say
Dave Matthews
313
00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:18,767
was doing what we were doing.
314
00:13:18,801 --> 00:13:21,169
Oh, to play in a band
like Mouse Rat
315
00:13:21,203 --> 00:13:23,838
that brought such joy to so many
316
00:13:23,873 --> 00:13:26,508
truly was a mitzvah.
317
00:13:26,542 --> 00:13:28,710
I should mention
I'm a rabbi now.
318
00:13:28,744 --> 00:13:30,412
For the full rockumentary, go to
319
00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:33,782
TheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesome
MusicalExplosion.com.
320
00:13:33,816 --> 00:13:35,583
And now, back to the show.
321
00:13:39,555 --> 00:13:41,689
Every hero struggles
with failure,
322
00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,958
faces something they cannot do.
323
00:13:43,993 --> 00:13:46,227
Andy faced one of those moments
just a few years ago.
324
00:13:46,262 --> 00:13:48,530
And I would've chugged
that entire gallon of milk
325
00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:50,465
had I not started puking
out of nowhere.
326
00:13:50,499 --> 00:13:52,133
No, you did not achieve
your dream
327
00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:54,269
of becoming
a Pawnee police officer.
328
00:13:54,303 --> 00:13:55,303
Oh, right.
329
00:13:55,337 --> 00:13:56,705
But you did create Burt Macklin,
330
00:13:56,739 --> 00:13:59,307
a character who exemplifies
everything that is great
331
00:13:59,341 --> 00:14:00,308
about law enforcement.
332
00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:01,843
Take a look.
333
00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:06,214
My name is rt Tyra.
334
00:14:12,722 --> 00:14:14,289
I don't know
what the problem is, Sergeant.
335
00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:16,391
Just drain the ocean.
336
00:14:28,804 --> 00:14:31,339
Andy, on behalf of the entire
Pawnee Police Department,
337
00:14:31,373 --> 00:14:33,241
I'd like to present you
with this genuine
338
00:14:33,275 --> 00:14:34,809
- Pawnee police badge.
- Wow.
339
00:14:34,844 --> 00:14:37,011
It's ensconced forever
in the shadowbox
340
00:14:37,046 --> 00:14:38,646
- we made earlier.
- How about that?
341
00:14:38,681 --> 00:14:41,249
No.
342
00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:44,018
Son, we spent four days
making that.
343
00:14:44,053 --> 00:14:47,188
This means so, so much to me.
344
00:14:47,223 --> 00:14:48,323
I'm a cop.
345
00:14:48,357 --> 00:14:49,597
I should get some handcuffs too.
346
00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:51,026
- Give me your cuffs, Randy.
- No, no, no.
347
00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,260
- Give me your cuffs.
- It's an honorary title only.
348
00:14:52,294 --> 00:14:53,962
- Stand down, sir.
- Stop it! Quit!
349
00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:55,363
Andy, now that you're
an official police officer...
350
00:14:55,398 --> 00:14:56,965
He's not. I want to make
it clear--he's not.
351
00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:59,834
You should be able to solve
the case of the missing guitar.
352
00:14:59,869 --> 00:15:03,772
So grab your clue and head
on over to Professor Smartbrain.
353
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:07,375
Professor Smartbrain,
this piece of fabric
354
00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:08,743
was found at the scene.
355
00:15:08,778 --> 00:15:10,312
Look at it under your telescope.
356
00:15:10,346 --> 00:15:11,412
Hmm.
357
00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:13,448
It looks like there are
some tiny initials.
358
00:15:13,482 --> 00:15:16,584
"J.C."?
359
00:15:16,619 --> 00:15:19,721
President Jimmy Carter
stole my guitar?
360
00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:20,922
But why?
361
00:15:20,956 --> 00:15:23,725
I don't think
it's Jimmy Carter, buddy.
362
00:15:23,759 --> 00:15:26,194
The champ is here!
363
00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:29,998
Hi, kids, is everybody
having a great time?
364
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,034
I know I am!
365
00:15:33,068 --> 00:15:34,536
John Cena in the house!
366
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,438
John Cena, you're my hero.
367
00:15:36,472 --> 00:15:38,773
- Wait, you're Andy.
- Yeah, I'm Andy.
368
00:15:38,808 --> 00:15:40,075
From the information I got,
369
00:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,810
I just assumed you'd be, like,
ten years old.
370
00:15:41,844 --> 00:15:44,345
- Thank you.
- Okay, great. Thank you.
371
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:46,948
Thank you so much, man,
for bringing martial arts
372
00:15:46,982 --> 00:15:49,117
and music to all the children--
373
00:15:49,151 --> 00:15:50,385
Wait, wait,
what are you doing, man?
374
00:15:50,419 --> 00:15:51,352
- Got you.
- Got me?
375
00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:52,487
- What?
- He got my cuffs.
376
00:15:52,521 --> 00:15:53,888
Wait.
What the hell is this?
377
00:15:53,923 --> 00:15:55,690
John Cena, you're a great
inspiration, a true hero,
378
00:15:55,725 --> 00:15:57,559
and this is the greatest moment
of my life.
379
00:15:57,593 --> 00:15:58,526
But you're going down.
380
00:15:58,561 --> 00:15:59,561
Going down?
What are you--
381
00:15:59,562 --> 00:16:00,562
Whoa!
Hey, stop--
382
00:16:00,596 --> 00:16:01,629
You stole Johnny Karate's guitar.
383
00:16:01,664 --> 00:16:02,944
I didn't steal his guitar, man.
384
00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:04,065
I'm just doing this as a favor.
385
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,540
You're going
in the dunk tank, bud.
386
00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:06,601
I don't want to go
in the dunk tank.
387
00:16:06,635 --> 00:16:08,169
- Shut up.
- Is anybody in charge?
388
00:16:08,204 --> 00:16:09,738
A little help?
389
00:16:09,772 --> 00:16:12,540
And now it's time to celebrate
Andy Dwyer's greatest creation--
390
00:16:12,575 --> 00:16:13,508
Johnny Karate.
391
00:16:15,911 --> 00:16:18,880
He has brought so much happiness
to so many children
392
00:16:18,914 --> 00:16:22,317
in southern Indiana that we
thought a piece of Johnny Karate
393
00:16:22,351 --> 00:16:24,352
should stay here in Pawnee.
394
00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:34,963
♪ Everybody was
Kung Fu fighting ♪
395
00:16:34,997 --> 00:16:36,765
Raise it up.
396
00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:40,969
♪ Those kicks were fast
as lightning ♪
397
00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:43,405
This is awesome.
Can you believe it, babe?
398
00:16:43,439 --> 00:16:47,108
♪ In fact, it was
a little bit fritening ♪
399
00:16:47,143 --> 00:16:50,178
That karate gi
will stay here forever.
400
00:16:50,212 --> 00:16:52,747
Well, not here here,
because this studio
401
00:16:52,782 --> 00:16:54,783
actually has a show
where divorced couples
402
00:16:54,817 --> 00:16:56,217
work out their problems.
403
00:16:56,252 --> 00:16:57,686
So that might be weird if that
thing was hanging over them.
404
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:58,853
But it'll be somewhere.
405
00:16:58,888 --> 00:17:03,758
And the spirit will stay
with us forever.
406
00:17:03,793 --> 00:17:06,561
Andy Dwyer's final good-bye
when we come back.
407
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,100
What powers us?
408
00:17:12,134 --> 00:17:14,069
What gives us the tools
to attain our goals,
409
00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:17,572
face our fears, take
that next step into the unknown?
410
00:17:17,606 --> 00:17:19,340
It's energy.
411
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:22,143
Verizon, Exxon, and Chipotle
are proud to announce
412
00:17:22,178 --> 00:17:25,513
a cross-platform merger
of our three great brands.
413
00:17:25,548 --> 00:17:27,916
Whether it's extending
your 6G coverage,
414
00:17:27,950 --> 00:17:29,818
drilling natural gas
out of shale,
415
00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:31,853
or perfecting
the chicken quesadilla,
416
00:17:31,887 --> 00:17:35,223
we will give you the energy
to get you to the next level.
417
00:17:35,257 --> 00:17:39,427
And with enough energy, America,
nothing can stop us.
418
00:17:39,462 --> 00:17:42,564
The all-new
Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon--
419
00:17:42,598 --> 00:17:45,808
proud to be one
of America's 8 companies.
420
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,615
I'd like to begin by saying
thank you
421
00:17:54,649 --> 00:17:56,050
to anyone who has ever worked
422
00:17:56,084 --> 00:17:59,653
on the Johnny Karate
Musical Explosion Show.
423
00:17:59,688 --> 00:18:02,623
This has been the greatest job
I've ever had,
424
00:18:02,657 --> 00:18:05,659
and today has been
the best day of my life.
425
00:18:05,694 --> 00:18:07,795
And that's saying something.
426
00:18:07,829 --> 00:18:10,431
I once found a rock that looked
exactly like Santa Claus--
427
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:13,033
hat and everything, so...
428
00:18:13,068 --> 00:18:15,469
Before I say good-bye,
let's review our checklist
429
00:18:15,504 --> 00:18:16,604
one last time.
430
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,839
We made something
with Carpenter Ron.
431
00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:21,142
We learned something
with Professor Smartbrain.
432
00:18:21,176 --> 00:18:22,810
We karate chopped something--
433
00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:24,745
old Mailman Barry's face.
434
00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:27,681
And we tried something new,
even though it was scary to us,
435
00:18:27,716 --> 00:18:29,617
with Leslie Knope.
436
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:32,153
That leaves just one more thing,
437
00:18:32,187 --> 00:18:34,822
the most important one.
438
00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:37,625
Be nice to someone.
439
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:40,094
And I think I know right now
who needs it the most--
440
00:18:40,128 --> 00:18:44,899
my wife,
April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer.
441
00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:47,001
Honey, come on out here.
442
00:18:47,035 --> 00:18:48,269
Come here.
443
00:18:48,303 --> 00:18:50,771
Babe.
444
00:18:50,806 --> 00:18:52,206
Hey, babe?
445
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,042
Wait!
446
00:18:55,076 --> 00:18:56,644
Honey, where are you going?
447
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,446
Babe, hey, will you--
448
00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,547
Hey, come here.
449
00:18:59,581 --> 00:19:02,616
April, what's going on?
450
00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:06,053
It's...
451
00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:09,323
Every week, this show
is an amazing train wreck,
452
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:12,393
and you love doing it,
and you're the best host,
453
00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:14,762
like, even better
than my all-time favorite host,
454
00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:16,497
Tom Snyder, which is crazy.
455
00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,432
And all those kids love you,
456
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:21,936
and you're doing
what you're meant to do.
457
00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:24,271
And I can't be the person that
makes you lose what you love.
458
00:19:24,306 --> 00:19:25,506
Yeah, but you're what I love.
459
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,675
You're the only reason
I have any of this.
460
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,544
You believed in me,
and you supported me.
461
00:19:30,579 --> 00:19:32,780
You make me happy...
462
00:19:32,814 --> 00:19:35,449
happier than I ever thought
I could be.
463
00:19:35,484 --> 00:19:38,319
Without you,
I wouldn't be anything.
464
00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:40,888
You're what keeps me going.
465
00:19:40,922 --> 00:19:44,225
You're my
Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon.
466
00:19:44,259 --> 00:19:47,361
As long as I'm with you,
I'm gonna be happy.
467
00:19:47,396 --> 00:19:49,830
So we go to Washington, D.C.
468
00:19:49,865 --> 00:19:51,065
And then we figure out
469
00:19:51,099 --> 00:19:54,268
the next cool and awesome thing
from there, okay?
470
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,539
Okay.
471
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,920
That was a very good
"Being Nice to Someone."
472
00:20:01,518 --> 00:20:02,679
I did it.
473
00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:04,177
I can go finish the show.
474
00:20:06,888 --> 00:20:10,923
♪ Well it's time for us to go ♪
475
00:20:11,284 --> 00:20:16,181
♪ But I want you all to know ♪
476
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,383
♪ That karate's
not about fighting ♪
477
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,619
♪ It's about knowing
who you are ♪
478
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,821
♪ And being kind and honest ♪
479
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,490
♪ While you're kicking
for the stars ♪
480
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:30,496
♪ Yeah, that's
the Johnny Karate way ♪
481
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,268
♪ Keep karate in your heart ♪
482
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:39,071
♪ And aspire to your dreams ♪
483
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,639
♪ And always remember ♪
484
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,741
♪ You're forever on my team ♪
485
00:20:42,776 --> 00:20:48,647
♪ Yeah, that's
the Johnny Karate way ♪
486
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:49,848
Karate yell!
487
00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:51,450
Hiya!
488
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,685
Good-bye, Pawnee.
I will miss you.
489
00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:56,755
Guys?
490
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:57,756
Guys?
491
00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,658
Guys!
492
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:00,993
Tarantula.
493
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,097
Could somebody get me
out of here, please?
494
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,565
I'll help you, John Cena.
495
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,300
No--
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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