1
00:00:02,534 --> 00:00:04,534
Which brings us to 2005...
2
00:00:04,835 --> 00:00:07,135
The Circle Park renovation was complete,
3
00:00:07,436 --> 00:00:10,136
and a young man
named Thomas Haverford
4
00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:12,305
was still two years away
from getting hired.
5
00:00:12,373 --> 00:00:15,241
Perhaps we could skip ahead
and just hit the highlights?
6
00:00:15,309 --> 00:00:17,610
I mean, I planned
a comprehensive retrospective,
7
00:00:17,678 --> 00:00:19,779
but I guess I can just focus
on the really important moments.
8
00:00:19,847 --> 00:00:22,982
Ah! The debate about getting
a pod-based coffee machine.
9
00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:25,818
Garry and I wrote a little
musical number about that,
10
00:00:25,886 --> 00:00:28,388
and it goes a little something
like thi--
11
00:00:28,455 --> 00:00:29,855
Can't we just quickly
shake hands,
12
00:00:29,890 --> 00:00:31,024
pretend we like each other,
13
00:00:31,091 --> 00:00:32,571
- and get out of here?
- I'm all for that.
14
00:00:32,593 --> 00:00:35,061
No, April, Ron,
we need to celebrate everything
15
00:00:35,129 --> 00:00:36,596
that we've done together
as a group.
16
00:00:36,663 --> 00:00:38,197
This is our last day here!
17
00:00:38,265 --> 00:00:41,267
Who knows when we'll all be
together like this again?
18
00:00:41,335 --> 00:00:42,702
Excuse me.
Hi.
19
00:00:42,770 --> 00:00:44,103
There's a swing in a park
20
00:00:44,171 --> 00:00:46,472
near my house that's been broken
for about three months.
21
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:48,241
Is it possible
to get that fixed?
22
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:52,145
Anything is possible
if you follow your dreams.
23
00:00:52,213 --> 00:00:53,313
Johnny Karate.
24
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:55,115
Except getting a swing fixed.
25
00:00:55,232 --> 00:00:56,712
None of us
actually work here anymore.
26
00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:58,635
Come back in two hours
when the office is open.
27
00:00:58,703 --> 00:01:00,770
- Thank you.
- Wait.
28
00:01:00,838 --> 00:01:03,340
Actually, sir, we can help.
29
00:01:03,407 --> 00:01:06,676
We can and we will because
when we used to work here,
30
00:01:06,744 --> 00:01:08,478
helping people was our job.
31
00:01:08,546 --> 00:01:09,879
Forget about these old stories.
32
00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:11,081
Let's make a new one.
33
00:01:11,148 --> 00:01:12,716
Let's fix a swing.
34
00:01:12,783 --> 00:01:14,384
One last ride
for the Parks and Rec gang.
35
00:01:14,452 --> 00:01:15,452
Who's in?
36
00:01:15,453 --> 00:01:16,620
Yeah.
37
00:01:16,687 --> 00:01:18,655
♪ The vote
was four to three ♪
38
00:01:18,723 --> 00:01:20,457
♪ Donna said to get rid of me
39
00:01:20,524 --> 00:01:21,925
♪ But Ron was suspicious
40
00:01:21,993 --> 00:01:24,060
♪ 'Cause my coffee
was delicious ♪
41
00:01:24,078 --> 00:01:26,079
Come on, Garry,
you're the mayor now.
42
00:01:26,147 --> 00:01:28,648
Have some dignity.
43
00:01:32,419 --> 00:01:37,259
Sync by Alice | Thank you honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:50,988
Okay, so what
is our first step
45
00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:52,723
on our quest to help this man?
46
00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:54,124
Does anyone remember?
47
00:01:54,192 --> 00:01:56,627
A parks and recreation
equipment requisition form.
48
00:01:56,694 --> 00:01:58,495
Correct.
Five points for Hufflepuff.
49
00:01:58,563 --> 00:02:00,063
Well,
everything's paperless now,
50
00:02:00,131 --> 00:02:02,900
and none of us has a log-in,
so can't access the computers.
51
00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:04,301
Hang on.
52
00:02:04,369 --> 00:02:07,237
I have one right here,
thanks to Leslie's scrapbook,
53
00:02:07,305 --> 00:02:09,673
"Thanks Form the Memories!"
54
00:02:09,741 --> 00:02:12,009
Oh, I knew those scrapbooks
were gonna come in handy.
55
00:02:12,076 --> 00:02:15,312
You came through
like you always do.
56
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,580
God, I'm gonna miss you.
57
00:02:16,698 --> 00:02:18,999
Your confidence,
your joie de vivre,
58
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:21,268
that crazy story about you
getting kicked out of En Vogue.
59
00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:23,570
Technically I kicked them out.
60
00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:24,838
When do you leave for Seattle?
61
00:02:24,906 --> 00:02:26,573
As soon as I get
my local real estate license.
62
00:02:26,641 --> 00:02:28,742
I'm married to a teacher,
and I love the man,
63
00:02:28,810 --> 00:02:31,145
but I also love diamond watches.
64
00:02:31,212 --> 00:02:32,646
Well, whatever happens,
65
00:02:32,714 --> 00:02:37,151
I know you are gonna live
an exciting and full life.
66
00:02:40,505 --> 00:02:45,209
3,400 square feet,
a beautiful view of Puget Sound,
67
00:02:45,277 --> 00:02:46,557
and if you look out this window,
68
00:02:46,578 --> 00:02:48,980
you can watch them build
the new Space Haystack
69
00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:50,281
around the Space Needle.
70
00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:51,449
Wow.
71
00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:53,217
I-I can hardly see
the needle anymore.
72
00:02:53,285 --> 00:02:54,565
I know.
It's kind of the point.
73
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:56,989
So what are we thinking?
74
00:02:58,056 --> 00:02:59,390
Wow.
75
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:01,359
It sold in two hours?
76
00:03:01,426 --> 00:03:03,628
You cannot beat
the Seattle real estate market.
77
00:03:03,746 --> 00:03:05,626
I think it's all that coffee
and legal marijuana
78
00:03:05,647 --> 00:03:08,282
has people wanting to buy houses
quickly and irrationally.
79
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:09,384
Mm.
80
00:03:09,451 --> 00:03:10,985
But the giant commission check
81
00:03:11,053 --> 00:03:14,655
has me thinking
about Donna-Joe Adventure Quest.
82
00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:16,491
Ooh, where are we going?
83
00:03:16,558 --> 00:03:18,159
Well, it can't beat last year.
84
00:03:18,227 --> 00:03:20,328
I mean, Middle Korea,
so beautiful.
85
00:03:20,446 --> 00:03:21,679
Here's my idea.
86
00:03:21,747 --> 00:03:23,081
- The Amazon.
- Oh.
87
00:03:23,149 --> 00:03:25,483
Three weeks of the best
and most expensive places
88
00:03:25,551 --> 00:03:27,485
South America has to offer.
89
00:03:27,553 --> 00:03:28,620
I love it.
90
00:03:28,687 --> 00:03:30,321
Honestly, with the way
work is going,
91
00:03:30,389 --> 00:03:32,023
I just need this right now.
92
00:03:32,091 --> 00:03:36,161
The school cut the math club
and math.
93
00:03:36,228 --> 00:03:38,163
They just don't teach math
anymore.
94
00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:40,799
Aw, my poor little
do-gooder teacher baby.
95
00:03:40,917 --> 00:03:43,485
Why don't we cuddle up
on the couch, watch a movie,
96
00:03:43,552 --> 00:03:46,321
and then maybe later
I'll wear that little red thing?
97
00:03:46,389 --> 00:03:47,789
Yes.
The red thing.
98
00:03:47,857 --> 00:03:49,925
Here, let me get this.
99
00:03:54,263 --> 00:03:56,798
Call Satan's niece.
100
00:03:56,866 --> 00:03:59,034
Hey, what do you want?
101
00:03:59,101 --> 00:04:02,437
And this is me DJ-ing
a boat party in Venezuela,
102
00:04:02,505 --> 00:04:04,439
kind of reminded me of the
two weeks you and I spent there.
103
00:04:04,507 --> 00:04:05,707
Oh, yeah, that happened.
104
00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:07,709
- Yeah, it did.
- April.
105
00:04:07,777 --> 00:04:09,077
What are you doing here?
106
00:04:09,145 --> 00:04:11,579
- Babe, have a seat.
- What's going on?
107
00:04:11,647 --> 00:04:13,848
Recently I was thinking
for the millionth time
108
00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:15,483
how lucky
I am to have found you,
109
00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:18,988
so I've decided
to treat yo' self.
110
00:04:19,806 --> 00:04:22,775
You're gonna buy me
a bunch of leather handbags?
111
00:04:22,892 --> 00:04:24,827
Donna is going
to take some of the money
112
00:04:24,894 --> 00:04:26,462
you usually use on your trips
113
00:04:26,529 --> 00:04:28,163
and establish
an education program
114
00:04:28,231 --> 00:04:29,765
through the foundation
I work for.
115
00:04:29,833 --> 00:04:32,067
It's called "Teach Yo' Self,"
and you and the other teachers
116
00:04:32,135 --> 00:04:34,002
will get money
for after-school programs,
117
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:37,406
for music, art, math,
whatever you want.
118
00:04:37,474 --> 00:04:42,110
Baby, this is really generous,
but I love our trips,
119
00:04:42,178 --> 00:04:44,379
and honestly it's your money.
120
00:04:44,447 --> 00:04:45,881
You should spend it
how you want.
121
00:04:45,949 --> 00:04:47,182
This is what I want.
122
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,017
I've had a lot of adventures.
123
00:04:49,085 --> 00:04:52,054
I single-handedly started
that doorknockers earring trend.
124
00:04:52,121 --> 00:04:54,022
I came in ninth
in Italy's Got Talent.
125
00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:56,358
- Yeah.
- I served on a NASCAR pit crew.
126
00:04:56,426 --> 00:05:01,030
I want a new kind of adventure,
and I want to take it with you.
127
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:05,851
Okay, I feel like it's time
for me to get out of here.
128
00:05:07,487 --> 00:05:08,520
What is this mess?
129
00:05:08,588 --> 00:05:10,089
Why are you all in my office?
130
00:05:10,156 --> 00:05:12,891
We are on one last mission
to help the people of Pawnee.
131
00:05:12,959 --> 00:05:15,394
Craig, can you sign
the requisition form?
132
00:05:15,462 --> 00:05:16,695
It'd speed things up.
133
00:05:16,763 --> 00:05:18,683
You know, Craig,
when I first met you, I thought,
134
00:05:18,698 --> 00:05:20,466
"There's a man
who loves his job."
135
00:05:20,533 --> 00:05:23,369
And then I thought,
"Oh, wow, he's intense."
136
00:05:23,436 --> 00:05:26,005
And then I thought,
"Oh, no, he's insane.
137
00:05:26,123 --> 00:05:28,363
That person is psychotic,
and I need to call the police."
138
00:05:28,425 --> 00:05:30,559
Yeah, that's usually the way
it goes.
139
00:05:30,627 --> 00:05:33,629
But I just think
you've come so far,
140
00:05:33,697 --> 00:05:35,765
and I'm so glad
that we are leaving
141
00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:38,702
the Parks Department
in your hands.
142
00:05:39,669 --> 00:05:43,105
♪ Funny, though it's true
143
00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:46,675
♪ Those silly things you do
144
00:05:46,743 --> 00:05:51,647
♪ They only bring me closer
145
00:05:51,715 --> 00:05:56,318
♪ To you
146
00:05:59,256 --> 00:06:00,523
Nice crooning, buddy.
147
00:06:00,591 --> 00:06:03,426
The gentleman
over by the bar there
148
00:06:03,494 --> 00:06:04,927
sent you over
this glass of wine
149
00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:07,296
and his business card.
150
00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:12,301
Okay, so as you all know,
Tom's Bistro...
151
00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,871
Okay, fine.
152
00:06:14,989 --> 00:06:16,790
We are gathered here today
153
00:06:16,857 --> 00:06:20,260
to join Craig Middlebrooks
and Typhoon Montalban
154
00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:21,594
in holy matrimony.
155
00:06:21,662 --> 00:06:23,530
I don't know about this.
I'm very scared.
156
00:06:23,597 --> 00:06:25,298
Oh, just relax,
you nervous Nelly.
157
00:06:25,366 --> 00:06:26,366
You're right.
158
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:27,767
We love each other,
159
00:06:27,835 --> 00:06:30,170
and the tax break
is substantial.
160
00:06:30,237 --> 00:06:33,039
Will the best man
please present the rings?
161
00:06:33,107 --> 00:06:35,175
Good luck, you two.
162
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:42,882
Typhoon, my love,
happy anniversary.
163
00:06:42,950 --> 00:06:44,451
Do you have any regrets?
164
00:06:44,518 --> 00:06:46,820
Not one.
Not a single one.
165
00:06:46,887 --> 00:06:48,087
Do you have any regrets?
166
00:06:48,155 --> 00:06:50,023
Are you kidding?
Thousands.
167
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:52,225
Most recently this trout!
168
00:06:54,094 --> 00:06:56,930
Okay, April and Andy,
I need to file this.
169
00:06:56,997 --> 00:06:59,499
Would anyone like to accompany
me to the fourth floor?
170
00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:01,167
One last journey
to the weirdest place on earth?
171
00:07:01,235 --> 00:07:02,268
- Yes.
- Shotgun!
172
00:07:02,336 --> 00:07:03,603
We--we're just taking
the elevator.
173
00:07:03,671 --> 00:07:05,111
I get to push buttons.
I called it.
174
00:07:05,172 --> 00:07:06,306
Oh--
175
00:07:06,373 --> 00:07:07,933
- He called it.
- Yeah, I know, I heard.
176
00:07:11,124 --> 00:07:14,127
Ethel Beavers,
we need this filed, please.
177
00:07:14,195 --> 00:07:15,996
We've gone digital.
178
00:07:16,064 --> 00:07:17,965
Get with the times,
you Luddite.
179
00:07:17,982 --> 00:07:19,716
Man,
of all the places in Pawnee,
180
00:07:19,784 --> 00:07:21,518
I'm gonna miss the fourth floor
the most.
181
00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:25,556
The disturbing murals,
the ominous lighting...
182
00:07:25,623 --> 00:07:26,790
the creepy people.
183
00:07:26,858 --> 00:07:27,925
Hi, April.
184
00:07:27,992 --> 00:07:29,827
I'm gonna miss the food
in Pawnee.
185
00:07:29,894 --> 00:07:32,696
Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut,
186
00:07:32,764 --> 00:07:34,898
and most of all,
I'm gonna miss you, Leslie.
187
00:07:34,966 --> 00:07:36,934
Aw, Andy,
all of those things,
188
00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:40,604
including me, will still
be with you in Washington.
189
00:07:40,672 --> 00:07:42,139
That is a beautiful sentiment.
190
00:07:42,207 --> 00:07:44,108
It--I just want to say
191
00:07:44,176 --> 00:07:47,244
that we are about to embark
on an amazing adventure,
192
00:07:47,312 --> 00:07:49,213
and whatever happens,
193
00:07:49,281 --> 00:07:52,249
just know that Ben and I
are always there for you.
194
00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:58,289
Agent Macklin, I need you.
195
00:07:58,357 --> 00:07:59,757
Some thieves
are trying to steal
196
00:07:59,825 --> 00:08:01,492
the legendary
Snakehole Sapphire.
197
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,461
What the--
No!
198
00:08:03,528 --> 00:08:05,062
That sapphire has the power
to activate
199
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:06,664
the Cuban Missile Crisis.
200
00:08:06,732 --> 00:08:09,667
Damn it, Macklin!
I love it when you take charge.
201
00:08:09,735 --> 00:08:12,470
Make love to me, you fool,
you animal!
202
00:08:14,607 --> 00:08:17,008
Okay, rain-check that,
all right?
203
00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:18,444
They're here.
204
00:08:19,111 --> 00:08:20,545
Trick or treat!
205
00:08:20,613 --> 00:08:22,681
Oh!
Look at them!
206
00:08:22,748 --> 00:08:24,416
Here you go,
you little monsters.
207
00:08:24,483 --> 00:08:26,584
I love this.
You guys are the best.
208
00:08:26,652 --> 00:08:28,687
My love, we have to go.
209
00:08:28,754 --> 00:08:30,922
Just put all the candy in a bowl
or something.
210
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:32,524
What's wrong?
211
00:08:32,591 --> 00:08:34,426
- Did you eat all the candy?
- No.
212
00:08:34,493 --> 00:08:35,493
- Did you?
- Yes.
213
00:08:35,561 --> 00:08:36,728
But that's not what's wrong.
214
00:08:36,796 --> 00:08:40,665
It's just, seeing all those kids
out there...
215
00:08:40,733 --> 00:08:42,235
Babe...
216
00:08:43,603 --> 00:08:45,670
I want to put a babe
in you, babe.
217
00:08:45,738 --> 00:08:47,806
Andy, you know
where I stand on this.
218
00:08:47,874 --> 00:08:50,275
Yes, I would love
all the awesome stuff
219
00:08:50,343 --> 00:08:51,376
my body would go through.
220
00:08:51,444 --> 00:08:53,312
I mean,
if all it meant was puking
221
00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:56,248
and getting weird stretch marks
and veins everywhere,
222
00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:57,616
then sign me up.
223
00:08:57,684 --> 00:09:00,652
But at the end, we've brought
a child into the world.
224
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,154
- That's disgusting.
- No.
225
00:09:02,222 --> 00:09:03,388
They wipe all
of the disgusting stuff
226
00:09:03,456 --> 00:09:05,058
off of it immediately.
227
00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:07,159
We're gonna be late
for dinner.
228
00:09:07,227 --> 00:09:09,462
- Okay.
- Let's go.
229
00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:11,096
- Hey.
- Come on in.
230
00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:13,666
Hey, always nice to see
Janet Snakehole
231
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,634
and Burt Macklin in the mix.
232
00:09:15,702 --> 00:09:16,862
What are you guys dressed as?
233
00:09:16,903 --> 00:09:20,273
Oh, I'm Sandra Dee O'Connor.
Get it?
234
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:22,742
Sandra Dee
plus Sandra Day O'Connor?
235
00:09:22,809 --> 00:09:24,977
- Who's Sandra Dee?
- Who's Sandra Day O'Connor?
236
00:09:25,045 --> 00:09:26,379
Forget it.
237
00:09:26,446 --> 00:09:29,148
And I am the Lamplighter,
238
00:09:29,216 --> 00:09:31,517
a character
from my new board game sequel,
239
00:09:31,585 --> 00:09:34,487
"Cones of Dunshire:
Winds of Tremorrah."
240
00:09:34,555 --> 00:09:39,058
Gameplay Magazine called it
"punishingly intricate."
241
00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:40,560
Hey, where are the kids at?
242
00:09:40,627 --> 00:09:42,328
I want to say hi and wrestle
all three of them at once.
243
00:09:42,396 --> 00:09:44,931
Oh, they're trick-or-treating
in Georgetown with some friends.
244
00:09:44,998 --> 00:09:48,067
It's just us grown-ups tonight,
no kids at all.
245
00:09:53,841 --> 00:09:57,144
Hey, Andy, why don't you
give me a hand in the kitchen?
246
00:09:58,212 --> 00:10:00,546
So what do you need
a hand with?
247
00:10:00,614 --> 00:10:03,983
Oh, no, I just thought
you might want to talk.
248
00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:07,053
Whoa.
Dude, that's really slick.
249
00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:10,657
Oh, man, that's some
secret agent stuff right there.
250
00:10:10,925 --> 00:10:13,093
So April's still
on the fence about kids, huh?
251
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,395
Yeah,
and I'm freaking out, man.
252
00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:17,230
I want kids so bad.
253
00:10:17,298 --> 00:10:19,165
You know,
yesterday I was at the park,
254
00:10:19,233 --> 00:10:21,153
and I saw this group
of eight-year-olds laughing,
255
00:10:21,202 --> 00:10:23,103
playing, having a good time.
256
00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:25,238
I almost started crying.
257
00:10:25,306 --> 00:10:26,706
Granted, I'd just face-planted
on my rollerblades.
258
00:10:26,774 --> 00:10:28,174
That's what
they were laughing at.
259
00:10:28,242 --> 00:10:30,143
Sure.
260
00:10:30,211 --> 00:10:32,545
- All right, go ahead.
- What?
261
00:10:32,613 --> 00:10:34,753
You're gonna lecture me about
how Andy and I should have kids.
262
00:10:34,782 --> 00:10:36,149
You're gonna be like,
"They're so great.
263
00:10:36,217 --> 00:10:38,352
"They change your life,
and yes, they drive you nuts,
264
00:10:38,419 --> 00:10:40,754
"but it's all worth it
for the beauty and the majesty
265
00:10:40,822 --> 00:10:42,622
"and the glory of their little
faces in the morning.
266
00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:43,957
Blah, blah, blah, and barf."
267
00:10:44,025 --> 00:10:45,292
You know why it's so unfair?
268
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,827
Because you guys got so lucky.
269
00:10:46,894 --> 00:10:49,029
You had sex one time,
and you had three kids,
270
00:10:49,097 --> 00:10:52,132
and they're all, like,
smart and great and healthy,
271
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,534
and now your lives are perfect.
272
00:10:53,601 --> 00:10:55,035
But our life
is pretty perfect already.
273
00:10:55,103 --> 00:10:57,538
And you know what, kids act
the opposite of their parents.
274
00:10:57,605 --> 00:10:58,939
That's why your kids
are so cool.
275
00:10:59,007 --> 00:11:00,287
But Andy and I are cool already,
276
00:11:00,341 --> 00:11:02,309
so our kids will be,
like, really lame and weird.
277
00:11:02,377 --> 00:11:04,445
I'm sorry.
I just don't know what to do.
278
00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:07,214
Please tell me what to do.
What do I do?
279
00:11:07,282 --> 00:11:09,616
It's not about trying
to make your life perfect.
280
00:11:09,684 --> 00:11:12,286
Nobody's lives are perfect.
281
00:11:12,353 --> 00:11:16,557
You have kids
because you and Andy are a team
282
00:11:16,624 --> 00:11:18,559
and you want to bring in
some new team members.
283
00:11:18,626 --> 00:11:20,494
So you think we should?
284
00:11:20,562 --> 00:11:22,002
I don't know
if you should have kids.
285
00:11:22,063 --> 00:11:23,364
I really don't.
286
00:11:23,431 --> 00:11:26,101
But I do like your team.
287
00:11:27,068 --> 00:11:30,438
All right, Ms. Ludgate,
we're getting close.
288
00:11:30,506 --> 00:11:32,106
Babe, you look
more beautiful right now
289
00:11:32,174 --> 00:11:33,641
than I have ever seen you.
290
00:11:34,009 --> 00:11:35,042
Wow.
291
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:37,845
Just your luck that you're going
into labor on Halloween.
292
00:11:37,913 --> 00:11:40,281
Can I get a warm towel
to get that makeup off?
293
00:11:40,349 --> 00:11:42,984
No! I want it on!
That's the whole point.
294
00:11:43,051 --> 00:11:45,219
I put the makeup on
after I went into labor.
295
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,854
Whatever blows your skirt up.
296
00:11:46,922 --> 00:11:49,223
Okay, you ready to push?
297
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,792
Wait, no.
Babe, my birth mix.
298
00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:53,995
♪ He did the mash
299
00:11:54,062 --> 00:11:56,030
Here comes a contraction.
Are you ready?
300
00:11:56,098 --> 00:11:57,698
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's do this.
301
00:11:57,766 --> 00:12:00,134
- ♪ It was a graveyard smash
- ♪ He did the mash
302
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:01,936
♪ It caught on in a flash
303
00:12:02,004 --> 00:12:03,671
♪ He did the mash
304
00:12:03,739 --> 00:12:05,506
♪ He did the monster mash
305
00:12:05,574 --> 00:12:09,010
♪ From my laboratory
in the castle east ♪
306
00:12:09,077 --> 00:12:10,878
Burt Macklin Junior?
307
00:12:10,946 --> 00:12:12,914
Mm, we need a Halloween angle.
308
00:12:12,981 --> 00:12:17,585
How about...
Demon Spawn Baby Satan Dwyer?
309
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,120
Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
310
00:12:19,187 --> 00:12:21,155
Or maybe
311
00:12:21,223 --> 00:12:26,694
Burt Snakehole Ludgate
Karate Dracula Macklin
312
00:12:26,762 --> 00:12:28,029
Demon Jack-o-Lantern Dwyer?
313
00:12:28,096 --> 00:12:29,764
We call him "Jack"
for short.
314
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,132
Hey. Hi.
315
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,400
Oh, I want to scream,
316
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:33,735
but I don't want
to wake up my godchild.
317
00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:35,036
I'm assuming
it's my godchild, right?
318
00:12:35,104 --> 00:12:36,864
- We can talk about it later.
- Congrats, guys.
319
00:12:36,872 --> 00:12:38,640
I know it came
unexpectedly early,
320
00:12:38,708 --> 00:12:40,008
but pretty cool he was born
in Pawnee.
321
00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:41,376
Where do I put these?
322
00:12:41,444 --> 00:12:43,078
I have so many presents,
it's weird.
323
00:12:43,145 --> 00:12:46,915
Yes!
Oh, for the baby?
324
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,117
Just put them over there.
325
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,319
- What's his name?
- Jack.
326
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:54,356
Oh, that's good.
327
00:12:54,423 --> 00:12:57,025
Welcome to the team,
little guy.
328
00:13:02,231 --> 00:13:04,132
Take this down to maintenance.
329
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,600
I know just where to take it,
Ethel,
330
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:07,736
and I know just the person
who should accompany me.
331
00:13:07,804 --> 00:13:09,171
I'm a little busy right now.
332
00:13:09,238 --> 00:13:10,605
Not you, Kyle.
333
00:13:10,673 --> 00:13:12,474
How many times
did you and I
334
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,343
deliver a form to maintenance
just like this?
335
00:13:15,411 --> 00:13:17,579
Oh, so many great conversations,
336
00:13:17,647 --> 00:13:19,848
bonding and mentoring moments.
337
00:13:19,916 --> 00:13:24,353
It seems only right that we make
this journey one final time.
338
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,422
- What was that, boo-boo?
- Nothing.
339
00:13:26,489 --> 00:13:28,090
Oh!
340
00:13:28,158 --> 00:13:31,527
Tommy-T and Sexy Lexy Knope.
341
00:13:31,594 --> 00:13:33,796
Ooh, what are
you two bad larrys up to?
342
00:13:33,863 --> 00:13:35,631
Well, this is our last day
in Pawnee,
343
00:13:35,698 --> 00:13:37,800
and we have one last problem
to fix.
344
00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:39,401
Hold up.
You're leaving?
345
00:13:39,469 --> 00:13:40,536
For truth?
346
00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:43,272
I am gonna miss you so much.
347
00:13:43,339 --> 00:13:44,907
What's going on?
You're not injured?
348
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:46,575
Uh, yeah, I'm injured.
349
00:13:46,643 --> 00:13:47,743
I got a terminal case of
350
00:13:47,811 --> 00:13:50,279
"Get me to the front of the line
at Six Flags"!
351
00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:52,381
Shaaa-boosh!
352
00:13:52,449 --> 00:13:54,850
It's a winter wonderland.
353
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:57,753
I'm gonna be so sad
to see you go.
354
00:13:57,821 --> 00:14:01,023
Will you do me
one final kindness?
355
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:04,693
Will you pretend to be my wife
for an insurance scam,
356
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,663
but then we
fall in love for real?
357
00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:09,371
Also, can I have a pair
of your gym socks?
358
00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:10,879
No, wait,
it's not for anything weird.
359
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,535
It's just a fetish I have.
360
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,203
- Jean-Ralphio...
- Yeah.
361
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:17,573
Although I truly hope
that I never see you again,
362
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:22,811
I do wish you
a long and happy life.
363
00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:26,649
Today, we say good-bye
to Jean-Ralphio Saperstein.
364
00:14:26,716 --> 00:14:29,385
As per his last will
and testament,
365
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,787
we will now listen
to his favorite song,
366
00:14:31,855 --> 00:14:35,691
Bend Over by Lil Jon,
featuring Tyga.
367
00:14:35,759 --> 00:14:38,394
♪ Bend ova, make your knees
touch your elbows ♪
368
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,496
♪
369
00:14:40,564 --> 00:14:43,032
♪ Bend ova, make your knees
touch your elbows ♪
370
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:46,101
♪
371
00:14:46,169 --> 00:14:47,303
Ooh, okay.
372
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:48,571
Okay, they bought it.
They bought it.
373
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:49,905
- Do you have the insurance money?
- No doubt.
374
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,373
No doubt.
Let's hit it, bro.
375
00:14:51,441 --> 00:14:53,709
Time to start
a casino in...
376
00:14:53,777 --> 00:14:57,146
♪ Tajikistan
♪ Aaaaan
377
00:14:57,214 --> 00:14:58,881
♪ Tajikistan
378
00:14:58,949 --> 00:15:00,482
♪ Talking 'bout Tajiki...
379
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:01,884
Stan!
380
00:15:01,952 --> 00:15:03,118
Jean-Ralphio?
381
00:15:03,186 --> 00:15:05,721
- Go! Tajikistan is off!
- Go, go, go, go!
382
00:15:05,789 --> 00:15:08,691
Tajikistan is off!
Tajikistan is off!
383
00:15:08,758 --> 00:15:12,328
So... Tom and I
have a swing to fix.
384
00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:14,697
Let's go.
385
00:15:14,764 --> 00:15:19,001
Leslie,
I've always loved you.
386
00:15:19,069 --> 00:15:21,070
I know.
387
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,043
Oh, man!
388
00:15:27,111 --> 00:15:28,991
I forgot that maintenance
was closed on Fridays.
389
00:15:29,313 --> 00:15:30,513
What would
our last ride be
390
00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,815
without one more
bureaucratic snafu?
391
00:15:32,883 --> 00:15:35,685
Don't worry, boo-boo, Tommy will
solve this problem no sweat.
392
00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:38,788
Can I just say, Tom,
you have accomplished so much.
393
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,590
You have come so far.
Now you're so successful.
394
00:15:41,658 --> 00:15:43,259
- Don't forget well-dressed.
- Yes.
395
00:15:43,327 --> 00:15:44,427
And well-dressed.
396
00:15:44,494 --> 00:15:46,996
I am so very proud of you.
397
00:15:47,064 --> 00:15:48,631
Thanks, Leslie.
398
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:50,266
I'm proud of me too.
399
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:51,567
Nice crooning, buddy.
400
00:15:51,635 --> 00:15:54,203
Uh, the gentleman
by the bar there
401
00:15:54,271 --> 00:15:55,705
sent you over
this glass of wine...
402
00:15:55,772 --> 00:15:58,943
and his business card.
403
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:03,746
Okay, so as you all know,
Tom's Bistro
404
00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:06,382
has been presented with
a huge expansion opportunity.
405
00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:07,783
I don't want to make a decision
until I hear
406
00:16:07,851 --> 00:16:09,452
from my senior advisory board.
407
00:16:09,519 --> 00:16:11,187
So is this a good idea?
408
00:16:11,254 --> 00:16:13,923
- Accounting Nerd?
- I'm a congressman, Tom.
409
00:16:13,991 --> 00:16:15,358
Can you at least call me "Ben"?
410
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:16,826
No can do, Accounting Nerd.
411
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:18,428
We all knew you
before you were a big shot.
412
00:16:18,495 --> 00:16:19,962
Let's keep the whining
to a minimum.
413
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:22,131
Well, there are always
gonna be risks
414
00:16:22,199 --> 00:16:24,934
when you open new restaurants,
but you've done your homework.
415
00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:26,770
All the numbers line up.
416
00:16:26,837 --> 00:16:28,238
Side note:
417
00:16:28,305 --> 00:16:32,308
I would again strongly recommend
adding calzones to the menu.
418
00:16:32,376 --> 00:16:34,711
Ugh. The worst.
Ron?
419
00:16:34,779 --> 00:16:36,913
It's a bold,
capitalistic gambit, son,
420
00:16:36,981 --> 00:16:38,816
but nothing ventured,
nothing gained.
421
00:16:39,383 --> 00:16:40,650
Regal Meagle?
422
00:16:40,718 --> 00:16:42,152
Real estate is pretty cheap
right now.
423
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,754
If you're gonna do it,
this is a good time.
424
00:16:44,822 --> 00:16:46,723
Okay, I'm doing it.
425
00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:48,024
Over the next five years,
426
00:16:48,092 --> 00:16:51,194
there's gonna be
20 Tom's Bistros across America.
427
00:16:51,262 --> 00:16:54,030
Look out, world,
Tommy's about to blow up.
428
00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:56,633
And blow up he did,
429
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,401
but not in the good way.
430
00:16:58,469 --> 00:17:00,170
He lost everything.
431
00:17:00,238 --> 00:17:04,074
Today, Tom Haverford
is broke, destitute,
432
00:17:04,142 --> 00:17:06,543
and worst of all, swaggerless.
433
00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:08,311
Tommy,
you got to stop watching this.
434
00:17:08,379 --> 00:17:10,147
I can't tear myself away.
435
00:17:10,214 --> 00:17:11,481
It's a whole documentary
about my failures.
436
00:17:11,549 --> 00:17:13,650
That you made.
437
00:17:13,718 --> 00:17:15,219
I had to.
438
00:17:15,286 --> 00:17:18,088
I have to remember every tiny,
awful aspect of this.
439
00:17:18,156 --> 00:17:19,556
I lost everything, Lucy--
440
00:17:19,624 --> 00:17:21,258
The franchises,
most of my money.
441
00:17:21,326 --> 00:17:23,193
I had to sell
my pocket square collection.
442
00:17:23,261 --> 00:17:25,362
What are people's eyes
gonna be drawn to?
443
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,197
Look, you had a tough break.
444
00:17:27,265 --> 00:17:30,033
The stock market tanked,
credit dried up.
445
00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:31,034
Who could have predicted
that the country
446
00:17:31,102 --> 00:17:32,102
would run out of beef?
447
00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:33,904
You just got to move on.
448
00:17:33,972 --> 00:17:35,052
That's the problem, though.
449
00:17:35,106 --> 00:17:36,306
I've gone bust in the past,
450
00:17:36,374 --> 00:17:38,008
but it was because
I did something reckless.
451
00:17:38,076 --> 00:17:39,677
This time
I was smart and careful,
452
00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:40,811
and I still went broke.
453
00:17:40,879 --> 00:17:42,580
What do I do now?
454
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:44,081
Well,
you and I are gonna be fine,
455
00:17:44,149 --> 00:17:46,817
and you'll come up
with a new idea.
456
00:17:46,885 --> 00:17:49,753
You always do.
457
00:17:49,821 --> 00:17:52,089
I once started
an entertainment company.
458
00:17:52,157 --> 00:17:54,291
It failed in four months.
459
00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,327
I opened
a clothing rental store.
460
00:17:56,394 --> 00:17:59,063
I built a restaurant empire.
461
00:17:59,131 --> 00:18:00,631
They all failed,
462
00:18:00,699 --> 00:18:04,635
but the story of America isn't
about second or third chances.
463
00:18:04,703 --> 00:18:10,641
It's about 4th, 5th,
6th, 20th, 50th chances.
464
00:18:10,709 --> 00:18:13,177
That's how long it took me
to get where I am today:
465
00:18:13,245 --> 00:18:15,179
Best-selling author of...
466
00:18:15,247 --> 00:18:18,449
Failure:
An American Success Story.
467
00:18:26,191 --> 00:18:27,625
As you know
if you've read the book,
468
00:18:27,693 --> 00:18:31,829
I've outlined seven different
types of successful people.
469
00:18:31,897 --> 00:18:37,535
You can be an Andy,
an April,
470
00:18:37,603 --> 00:18:41,205
a Ben, a Leslie,
471
00:18:41,273 --> 00:18:45,343
a Ron, a Donna,
472
00:18:45,411 --> 00:18:48,179
or my personal favorite, a Tom.
473
00:18:48,247 --> 00:18:51,215
But what do we definitely
not want to be?
474
00:18:51,283 --> 00:18:52,717
A Garry!
475
00:18:52,785 --> 00:18:55,119
That's right.
Do not be a Garry.
476
00:18:55,187 --> 00:18:58,423
Oh, he's talking about me!
477
00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:00,291
Hey.
478
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,627
Hey, thanks so much
for coming, guys.
479
00:19:02,695 --> 00:19:03,695
Are you kidding?
480
00:19:03,763 --> 00:19:05,263
Tom, this is incredible.
481
00:19:05,331 --> 00:19:07,665
A best-selling book,
a 40-city tour?
482
00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:09,100
Well, I couldn't have
done it without you.
483
00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,869
Well, the book's
called Failure.
484
00:19:10,936 --> 00:19:12,704
- I don't know how to take that.
- I'm serious.
485
00:19:12,772 --> 00:19:14,706
You guys
have always supported me.
486
00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:16,941
Here, I inscribed you a copy.
487
00:19:17,009 --> 00:19:18,476
Oh.
488
00:19:18,544 --> 00:19:20,812
"When I think of success,
I think of you.
489
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,847
"You are a true inspiration
to me.
490
00:19:22,915 --> 00:19:25,350
I love you,
Tom Haverford."
491
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:28,319
Oh, sorry, that's actually
for Kendrick Lamar.
492
00:19:28,387 --> 00:19:30,255
Here's yours.
493
00:19:30,322 --> 00:19:33,057
"Best wishes."
494
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:34,626
And I mean every word of it.
495
00:19:38,664 --> 00:19:40,565
So how are we gonna
fix this swing?
496
00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,000
Hold a public forum,
497
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:44,803
have a rally, smash that door,
and do some looting?
498
00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:47,072
Actually, I think
there's a simpler solution.
499
00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:50,210
We just need the help of
the most powerful man in Pawnee.
500
00:19:51,477 --> 00:19:54,379
Jim, how the heck are you?
Yeah, look.
501
00:19:54,447 --> 00:19:56,648
I hate to bother you, but I'm
here with my two best friends,
502
00:19:56,716 --> 00:19:58,350
Leslie Knope
and Tom Haverford...
503
00:19:58,418 --> 00:19:59,985
Shh!
504
00:20:00,052 --> 00:20:01,820
And we need the first floor
maintenance room open.
505
00:20:01,888 --> 00:20:04,656
Mm. Okay, great, and best
to Louise and the girls.
506
00:20:04,724 --> 00:20:06,225
Okay, bye-bye.
507
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,427
- You guys are all set.
- Thank you, Mayor Gergich.
508
00:20:08,495 --> 00:20:09,828
You really saved our butts.
509
00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:11,697
I am so happy
that you get to be mayor.
510
00:20:11,764 --> 00:20:12,898
Are you enjoying yourself?
511
00:20:12,966 --> 00:20:14,066
Oh, are you kidding me?
512
00:20:14,134 --> 00:20:16,301
Leslie, I know
that this is purely ceremonial,
513
00:20:16,369 --> 00:20:18,089
and it'll be over
in just a couple of weeks,
514
00:20:18,104 --> 00:20:19,938
but I just don't know
how my life
515
00:20:20,006 --> 00:20:21,306
could get any better than this.
516
00:20:21,374 --> 00:20:24,009
Oh!
517
00:20:24,077 --> 00:20:27,012
In a turn of events
both shocking and unexpected,
518
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,649
interim mayor Garry Gergich
was officially elected today,
519
00:20:30,717 --> 00:20:32,985
thanks to a massive
write-in campaign.
520
00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:34,954
Mayor Gergich,
what are your plans
521
00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:36,388
for your first actual term?
522
00:20:36,456 --> 00:20:37,656
Oh, jeez, you know what?
523
00:20:37,724 --> 00:20:39,058
I have no idea, Perd.
524
00:20:39,125 --> 00:20:40,993
I mean, this is so crazy.
525
00:20:41,061 --> 00:20:42,361
I just hope I do a good job,
526
00:20:42,429 --> 00:20:44,763
and I promise
I'm gonna try my best.
527
00:20:44,831 --> 00:20:48,200
And faithfully serve the people
of Pawnee, Indiana.
528
00:20:48,268 --> 00:20:52,471
As president of City Council,
I, Councilwoman Brandi Maxxxx,
529
00:20:52,539 --> 00:20:56,809
star of more than 11,000 adult
films in the last two years,
530
00:20:56,877 --> 00:21:01,413
officially declare Garry Gergich
Mayor of Pawnee, Indiana,
531
00:21:01,481 --> 00:21:02,615
for the fourth time.
532
00:21:02,682 --> 00:21:04,683
Thank you, Pawnee!
533
00:21:04,751 --> 00:21:06,051
Okay, great.
534
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:07,820
Garry Gergich,
you are now mayor,
535
00:21:07,888 --> 00:21:11,423
again, for the tenth time,
proving conclusively
536
00:21:11,491 --> 00:21:13,792
that in these corporate states
of America,
537
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:16,962
it's the entrenched powers
who hold all the cards.
538
00:21:17,030 --> 00:21:18,998
Thank you,
Councilman Morris.
539
00:21:19,065 --> 00:21:21,066
Thank you, Pawnee!
540
00:21:21,134 --> 00:21:25,404
Happy birthday,
my sweet, sweet husband.
541
00:21:25,472 --> 00:21:27,907
We all love you so much.
542
00:21:27,975 --> 00:21:31,043
I have had the perfect life.
543
00:21:31,111 --> 00:21:33,379
I have had
the perfect marriage...
544
00:21:33,447 --> 00:21:35,815
- Oh!
- The perfect children,
545
00:21:35,882 --> 00:21:40,286
and the perfect grandchildren
and great-grandchildren!
546
00:21:40,354 --> 00:21:44,023
And I just want you to know
how much I love you.
547
00:21:44,091 --> 00:21:47,226
Okay, come on, everybody,
say, "Gergich!"
548
00:21:47,294 --> 00:21:51,130
Gergich!
549
00:21:51,198 --> 00:21:55,034
Mayor Garry Gergich
died peacefully in his sleep
550
00:21:55,102 --> 00:21:57,036
on his 100th birthday,
551
00:21:57,104 --> 00:22:00,973
holding the hand
of his beloved wife, Gayle.
552
00:22:01,041 --> 00:22:04,243
Man, Gayle looks amazing.
553
00:22:04,311 --> 00:22:05,645
Yeah, yeah.
I know.
554
00:22:05,712 --> 00:22:06,946
He will now be given
555
00:22:07,014 --> 00:22:10,883
the Indiana Notary Society's
highest honor,
556
00:22:10,951 --> 00:22:12,618
the 21-Stamp Salute.
557
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,596
Oh, rest in peace, friend.
558
00:22:23,664 --> 00:22:26,899
They spelled his name wrong
on the tombstone.
559
00:22:28,635 --> 00:22:32,538
- Eh, close enough.
- Eh.
560
00:22:32,606 --> 00:22:34,507
It's time to go.
561
00:22:37,433 --> 00:22:39,734
Okay.
How's this for a headline?
562
00:22:39,801 --> 00:22:42,937
"Still Swinging: Parks Gang
Reunites for One Last Bang."
563
00:22:43,005 --> 00:22:44,405
That's a little dirty.
564
00:22:44,473 --> 00:22:46,574
Well, it's a headline, Shauna.
Sex sells.
565
00:22:46,642 --> 00:22:47,875
Knope,
566
00:22:47,943 --> 00:22:50,945
make yourself useful and hand me
that crescent wrench.
567
00:22:51,013 --> 00:22:54,615
Oh,
not bad craftsmanship, Ron.
568
00:22:54,683 --> 00:22:56,585
It is perfect craftsmanship.
569
00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:01,323
I calculate the cost
of my labor at $38.
570
00:23:02,091 --> 00:23:04,859
I can send the bill to you?
571
00:23:04,927 --> 00:23:07,161
So you think you're
gonna stick around Pawnee?
572
00:23:07,229 --> 00:23:08,930
Oh, I imagine so.
573
00:23:08,998 --> 00:23:11,332
Not sure where
I would go, really.
574
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,335
Well, we're gonna
come back here a lot.
575
00:23:14,403 --> 00:23:16,339
You know what they say.
576
00:23:17,706 --> 00:23:19,642
Don't be a stranger.
577
00:23:20,910 --> 00:23:23,111
Despite the recent
financial crisis,
578
00:23:23,179 --> 00:23:27,048
Very Good Building Company
will finish fiscal year 2022
579
00:23:27,116 --> 00:23:29,985
in excellent financial shape,
thanks in large part
580
00:23:30,052 --> 00:23:32,821
to the stewardship
of your chairman, Ron Swanson.
581
00:23:32,888 --> 00:23:35,657
Mr. Chairman, would you like
to say a few words?
582
00:23:39,495 --> 00:23:42,764
I resign as chairman,
effective immediately.
583
00:23:42,832 --> 00:23:45,734
Uh, would you
like to explain why?
584
00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:47,268
No.
585
00:23:47,336 --> 00:23:49,671
Should we discuss
your retirement package?
586
00:23:49,739 --> 00:23:51,906
Just give me whatever
the board thinks is fair.
587
00:23:51,974 --> 00:23:54,876
- Agreed.
- Best of luck.
588
00:23:54,944 --> 00:23:57,512
Don't get emotional, Vaughn.
You're embarrassing yourself.
589
00:24:00,116 --> 00:24:02,050
What just happened?
590
00:24:05,488 --> 00:24:07,689
Ron, your family is beautiful.
591
00:24:07,757 --> 00:24:09,625
They're a handsome bunch.
592
00:24:09,692 --> 00:24:13,128
Diane and I are especially proud
because Ivy was just accepted
593
00:24:13,196 --> 00:24:14,196
at Stanford University.
594
00:24:14,197 --> 00:24:15,364
Wow.
595
00:24:15,432 --> 00:24:16,665
Yeah, it's gonna cost
an arm and a leg.
596
00:24:16,733 --> 00:24:18,000
You take my advice?
597
00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:19,501
I did.
Thank you, again.
598
00:24:19,569 --> 00:24:20,903
I sold some of my gold
599
00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:23,973
and officially diversified
my portfolio.
600
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,508
Congratulations.
601
00:24:25,575 --> 00:24:28,110
You now own 51%
of the Lagavulin Distillery.
602
00:24:28,178 --> 00:24:29,538
Pleasure doing business
with you.
603
00:24:29,546 --> 00:24:30,646
And with you.
604
00:24:30,714 --> 00:24:32,216
Sláinte.
605
00:24:33,984 --> 00:24:36,854
So, Ron,
what brings you here?
606
00:24:38,522 --> 00:24:41,357
I am at something
of a personal crossroads.
607
00:24:41,425 --> 00:24:43,960
Yes!
I love personal crossroads.
608
00:24:44,027 --> 00:24:47,964
I once made the mistake of not
talking to you at such a moment,
609
00:24:48,031 --> 00:24:51,067
and I do not intend
to repeat that error.
610
00:24:51,134 --> 00:24:52,535
Well, let's take a walk.
611
00:24:52,603 --> 00:24:55,372
There's a cute,
little park nearby.
612
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,975
I suppose I had simply
613
00:24:59,042 --> 00:25:00,910
accomplished everything
I wanted to,
614
00:25:00,978 --> 00:25:04,013
and there seemed to be
little point in continuing.
615
00:25:04,081 --> 00:25:06,849
So what do you want to do now?
616
00:25:06,917 --> 00:25:08,584
Well, that's the problem.
617
00:25:08,652 --> 00:25:10,119
I'm not sure.
618
00:25:10,187 --> 00:25:12,088
My kids are growing up.
619
00:25:12,156 --> 00:25:14,991
My days in an office
feel like a waste.
620
00:25:15,059 --> 00:25:20,029
I would like to turn
my attention to something...
621
00:25:20,097 --> 00:25:23,099
that would make me feel useful,
622
00:25:23,167 --> 00:25:27,804
but for the life of me,
I cannot figure out what.
623
00:25:27,871 --> 00:25:31,474
And there are not many people--
624
00:25:31,542 --> 00:25:34,044
I mean, we were workplace
proximity acquaintances
625
00:25:34,111 --> 00:25:36,479
for many years,
and so I thought--
626
00:25:36,547 --> 00:25:37,614
I thought maybe...
627
00:25:37,682 --> 00:25:40,216
Say no more, you big softie.
628
00:25:40,284 --> 00:25:42,285
I'm gonna spend
every waking moment
629
00:25:42,353 --> 00:25:44,388
trying to figure this out
for you.
630
00:25:45,456 --> 00:25:46,389
You want to stay for dinner?
631
00:25:46,457 --> 00:25:47,924
- We're having steak.
- Mm?
632
00:25:47,992 --> 00:25:49,592
But we're also hosting
several members
633
00:25:49,660 --> 00:25:51,595
of the House Subcommittee
on Foreign Affairs.
634
00:25:51,662 --> 00:25:54,031
I'll take that steak to go,
please and thank you.
635
00:25:59,537 --> 00:26:03,307
Hey, there you are.
Thanks for meeting me here.
636
00:26:03,374 --> 00:26:04,374
Well, if you'd have
held them here
637
00:26:04,442 --> 00:26:05,576
instead of that conference room,
638
00:26:05,643 --> 00:26:07,377
I would have come
to more meetings.
639
00:26:07,445 --> 00:26:10,748
I got to tell you, Leslie,
establishing this national park
640
00:26:10,815 --> 00:26:14,518
right next to Pawnee
is quite an accomplishment.
641
00:26:14,586 --> 00:26:16,820
This is a fine piece of land
you saved.
642
00:26:16,888 --> 00:26:18,722
Thank you, Ron.
643
00:26:18,790 --> 00:26:21,058
You want to run it?
644
00:26:21,126 --> 00:26:23,594
The superintendent
of Bryce Canyon retired,
645
00:26:23,661 --> 00:26:25,596
and I convinced
the superintendent of this park
646
00:26:25,663 --> 00:26:27,731
to transfer,
shuffled a few things around.
647
00:26:27,799 --> 00:26:29,967
The point is someone needs
to take care of this place now.
648
00:26:30,034 --> 00:26:31,902
Thought it should be you.
649
00:26:31,970 --> 00:26:33,571
I...
650
00:26:34,639 --> 00:26:36,206
Well, first of all,
I would be working
651
00:26:36,274 --> 00:26:37,574
for the federal government.
652
00:26:37,642 --> 00:26:40,010
Your job would be
to walk around the land alone,
653
00:26:40,078 --> 00:26:41,979
you'd live in the same town
you've always lived in,
654
00:26:42,046 --> 00:26:43,347
you'd work outside,
you'd talk to bears.
655
00:26:43,414 --> 00:26:44,615
Next argument?
656
00:26:44,683 --> 00:26:46,951
There must be dozens of people
gunning for this job.
657
00:26:47,018 --> 00:26:49,320
I wouldn't want you
to ruffle any feathers.
658
00:26:49,387 --> 00:26:50,554
Am I even qualified?
659
00:26:50,622 --> 00:26:52,223
Well, a few people
might be annoyed,
660
00:26:52,290 --> 00:26:53,324
but they'll get over it.
661
00:26:53,391 --> 00:26:55,125
And as far
as your qualifications,
662
00:26:55,193 --> 00:26:56,595
you're Ron Swanson.
663
00:26:57,662 --> 00:26:59,665
Stop being a dummy and accept.
664
00:27:00,932 --> 00:27:03,000
- When do I start?
- Oh, today.
665
00:27:03,068 --> 00:27:04,268
I already accepted for you.
666
00:27:04,336 --> 00:27:06,704
I still remember
how to forge your signature.
667
00:27:06,771 --> 00:27:08,274
Let's go meet your staff.
668
00:27:10,542 --> 00:27:12,376
Pawnee National Park rangers,
669
00:27:12,444 --> 00:27:16,381
this is Ron Swanson, your new
superintendent and boss.
670
00:27:17,449 --> 00:27:22,253
Rangers, my name
is Ronald Ulysses Swanson.
671
00:27:22,321 --> 00:27:26,190
Your job and mine
is to walk this land
672
00:27:26,258 --> 00:27:28,426
and make sure no one harms it.
673
00:27:28,493 --> 00:27:31,295
If you show up on time,
speak honestly,
674
00:27:31,363 --> 00:27:32,997
and treat everyone
with fairness,
675
00:27:33,065 --> 00:27:35,733
we will get along just fine.
676
00:27:35,801 --> 00:27:37,268
Though hopefully not too fine,
677
00:27:37,336 --> 00:27:39,770
as I'm not looking
for any new friends.
678
00:27:39,838 --> 00:27:41,339
End of speech.
679
00:27:41,406 --> 00:27:42,807
Well said.
680
00:27:45,945 --> 00:27:48,613
Thank you, Leslie.
681
00:27:48,681 --> 00:27:50,882
You're welcome, Ron.
682
00:27:55,087 --> 00:27:56,988
Okay.
683
00:27:57,056 --> 00:27:58,690
Time to go to work.
684
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,594
♪ Laugh with me, buddy
685
00:28:03,662 --> 00:28:07,131
♪ Jest with me, buddy
686
00:28:07,199 --> 00:28:12,036
♪ Don't let her get the best
of me, buddy ♪
687
00:28:12,104 --> 00:28:15,173
♪ Don't ever let me start
688
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,542
♪ Feeling lonely
689
00:28:17,609 --> 00:28:19,711
♪
690
00:28:24,116 --> 00:28:26,351
Well, I have to make
a couple more adjustments.
691
00:28:30,556 --> 00:28:32,123
Babe,
I don't want to seem dramatic,
692
00:28:32,191 --> 00:28:34,058
but I've just reconsidered
every decision
693
00:28:34,126 --> 00:28:35,393
that we've made
over the last year,
694
00:28:35,461 --> 00:28:37,595
and I think we need
to stay in Pawnee forever.
695
00:28:37,663 --> 00:28:39,030
I know.
696
00:28:39,098 --> 00:28:40,264
But we have to pick up
the kids,
697
00:28:40,332 --> 00:28:41,432
and we have a flight to catch.
698
00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:42,967
But when is this group
of people
699
00:28:43,035 --> 00:28:45,136
ever going to be
all together again?
700
00:28:45,204 --> 00:28:46,738
That's all I want,
701
00:28:46,805 --> 00:28:49,440
all of these people in
the same place at the same time.
702
00:28:49,508 --> 00:28:51,409
It'll happen someday.
703
00:28:51,477 --> 00:28:53,077
What's gonna happen
between now and then?
704
00:28:53,145 --> 00:28:56,981
A lot,
and it's all gonna be great.
705
00:28:57,049 --> 00:28:58,916
- You promise?
- I promise.
706
00:29:05,791 --> 00:29:07,392
This is a nice house.
707
00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:09,494
You say that every time
we're here.
708
00:29:09,562 --> 00:29:10,695
I'm just trying
to distract you,
709
00:29:10,763 --> 00:29:12,764
so you don't have
a nervous breakdown.
710
00:29:12,832 --> 00:29:14,599
I think I am past that point.
711
00:29:14,667 --> 00:29:15,867
You don't have to worry
about me anymore.
712
00:29:15,935 --> 00:29:17,736
Hey, folks, welcome back.
713
00:29:17,803 --> 00:29:19,971
Great to have so many
good friends and colleagues.
714
00:29:20,039 --> 00:29:22,707
We're looking forward to a great
conversation and a good dinner.
715
00:29:22,775 --> 00:29:26,444
As usual, there's only
one rule: No shop talk.
716
00:29:26,512 --> 00:29:28,213
So if you want
to discuss politics,
717
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,215
you're gonna have to wait
until after dinner.
718
00:29:30,282 --> 00:29:31,783
I'm looking at you, Leslie.
719
00:29:31,851 --> 00:29:34,986
Okay, well, as long as we get
to play charades later.
720
00:29:35,054 --> 00:29:36,921
Okay.
721
00:29:36,989 --> 00:29:40,158
Last time we played charades,
she spent 3 1/2 hours here.
722
00:29:40,226 --> 00:29:41,546
You're just mad
'cause you lost.
723
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,294
Oh, come on.
724
00:29:48,972 --> 00:29:51,040
Damn!
That food was good.
725
00:29:51,108 --> 00:29:52,708
I've said it before,
and I'll say it again--
726
00:29:52,776 --> 00:29:55,478
Joe Biden knows his way
around a seafood risotto.
727
00:29:55,545 --> 00:29:57,313
You've said that before?
728
00:29:57,381 --> 00:30:00,516
Anyway, the point is, yes,
I do like working at Interior.
729
00:30:00,584 --> 00:30:03,085
I love it, but I'm always
looking for new challenges.
730
00:30:03,153 --> 00:30:04,420
Why do you ask?
731
00:30:04,488 --> 00:30:06,556
There's a rumor
the governor of Indiana
732
00:30:06,623 --> 00:30:09,525
isn't going to run again,
and my friends at the DNC
733
00:30:09,593 --> 00:30:12,762
are very interested in you
as a candidate.
734
00:30:12,830 --> 00:30:15,198
- For governor of Indiana?
- Mm-hmm.
735
00:30:15,265 --> 00:30:17,425
Someone's been reading
my kindergarten dream journal.
736
00:30:17,434 --> 00:30:18,735
So what do you think?
737
00:30:18,802 --> 00:30:20,269
I'll call you next week,
and we can talk about it?
738
00:30:20,337 --> 00:30:22,739
O-okay, great.
739
00:30:22,806 --> 00:30:24,540
Well, this is exciting.
740
00:30:24,608 --> 00:30:26,042
I'm gonna take this energy,
741
00:30:26,110 --> 00:30:28,044
and I'm gonna go crush Joe Biden
in charades.
742
00:30:28,612 --> 00:30:30,515
Dr. Jill, let's pick teams.
743
00:30:32,783 --> 00:30:34,384
Oh.
Move.
744
00:30:34,652 --> 00:30:36,719
Need the congressman.
This is time-sensitive.
745
00:30:36,787 --> 00:30:38,755
Hey, Jen,
I didn't know you were here.
746
00:30:38,823 --> 00:30:39,856
I'm everywhere.
747
00:30:39,924 --> 00:30:41,791
You want to be
governor of Indiana?
748
00:30:42,359 --> 00:30:43,259
What?
749
00:30:43,327 --> 00:30:44,761
Colquitt's not gonna
run again.
750
00:30:44,829 --> 00:30:46,529
It's a rumor for now,
but my gut says it's for real.
751
00:30:46,597 --> 00:30:47,997
You're the perfect candidate.
752
00:30:48,065 --> 00:30:50,166
Local hero,
state government experience,
753
00:30:50,234 --> 00:30:51,768
blah-blah-blah-
blah-blah-blah-blah.
754
00:30:51,836 --> 00:30:53,203
I mean,
the only potential problem
755
00:30:53,270 --> 00:30:55,805
is that devastatingly nerdy
"Cones of Dunshire" thing.
756
00:30:55,873 --> 00:30:57,707
Uh, that's a problem?
757
00:30:57,775 --> 00:30:59,042
I'm sorry,
758
00:30:59,109 --> 00:31:01,211
but it's the ninth-highest
selling multiplayer
759
00:31:01,278 --> 00:31:06,049
figurine-based strategy
fantasy sequel game in history.
760
00:31:06,116 --> 00:31:08,718
Please don't bail on me
because of what just happened.
761
00:31:11,355 --> 00:31:12,155
So...
762
00:31:12,223 --> 00:31:13,623
I had a pretty interesting
conversation
763
00:31:13,691 --> 00:31:14,971
with Janet from the DNC tonight.
764
00:31:15,026 --> 00:31:16,159
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
765
00:31:16,227 --> 00:31:18,028
She said
that Governor Colquitt
766
00:31:18,095 --> 00:31:19,829
might be stepping down,
767
00:31:19,897 --> 00:31:23,266
and the DNC thinks
that I should run for governor.
768
00:31:23,334 --> 00:31:27,804
Oh, God.
That... kind of sucks.
769
00:31:27,872 --> 00:31:29,139
Really? Why?
770
00:31:29,207 --> 00:31:30,974
No. I mean, that's--
771
00:31:31,042 --> 00:31:32,209
That's amazing.
772
00:31:32,277 --> 00:31:36,513
It's just, Jen Barkley kind of
approached me about running.
773
00:31:36,581 --> 00:31:38,883
Oh!
Oh.
774
00:31:39,951 --> 00:31:42,786
Well, I mean, obviously...
775
00:31:44,689 --> 00:31:46,056
Right.
Yeah, no, no.
776
00:31:46,124 --> 00:31:47,157
I mean, obviously...
777
00:31:47,225 --> 00:31:49,026
Yeah, I mean, obviously...
778
00:31:52,397 --> 00:31:54,632
Okay, pros of you
running for governor:
779
00:31:54,699 --> 00:31:56,533
You would be a great governor,
780
00:31:56,601 --> 00:31:58,168
we could make Pawnee
our home base,
781
00:31:58,236 --> 00:31:59,770
kids could go to school
in Pawnee,
782
00:31:59,838 --> 00:32:02,039
and it would be
a huge career move for you.
783
00:32:02,107 --> 00:32:05,275
The pros of me running
for governor are the same thing.
784
00:32:05,343 --> 00:32:06,777
- It's the same list.
- Right.
785
00:32:06,845 --> 00:32:08,779
The only con of you running
would be
786
00:32:08,847 --> 00:32:11,015
that I don't get to run
and vice versa.
787
00:32:13,084 --> 00:32:14,785
Good.
So we've solved it.
788
00:32:14,853 --> 00:32:16,687
Ugh.
Look.
789
00:32:16,755 --> 00:32:18,195
We're going back
to Pawnee in a week.
790
00:32:18,223 --> 00:32:20,091
Why don't we just
talk about it after that?
791
00:32:20,158 --> 00:32:21,459
Good idea.
792
00:32:21,526 --> 00:32:23,260
Hey, maybe we can drop by
the old stomping ground,
793
00:32:23,328 --> 00:32:25,429
see how the Parks Department
has changed.
794
00:32:25,497 --> 00:32:26,497
I love it.
795
00:32:26,565 --> 00:32:28,199
Okay, are you ready?
796
00:32:28,266 --> 00:32:30,468
No, but we don't have
a choice, do we?
797
00:32:31,603 --> 00:32:33,471
Kids, dinner!
798
00:32:33,538 --> 00:32:35,738
Hey, I'm gonna eat in my room
because I have to study.
799
00:32:35,774 --> 00:32:36,774
Can we go to Bobby's house
to watch the game?
800
00:32:36,842 --> 00:32:38,075
Hey, dude, stop.
801
00:32:38,143 --> 00:32:39,310
- Did you finish your homework?
- Yes, all of it.
802
00:32:39,378 --> 00:32:40,611
- Okay, don't forget to...
- That's mine.
803
00:32:40,679 --> 00:32:41,812
- We'll be back by 8:00.
- Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.
804
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,280
- Bye.
- Okay, get your ice skates!
805
00:32:43,348 --> 00:32:44,448
- You have a lesson tomorrow!
- Bye, Mom.
806
00:32:44,516 --> 00:32:45,750
- Bye, Dad.
- Just-okay.
807
00:32:45,817 --> 00:32:47,420
Bye.
808
00:32:49,688 --> 00:32:52,256
- Want some broccoli?
- Ugh, no.
809
00:32:53,425 --> 00:32:54,859
You know, now that I'm here,
810
00:32:54,927 --> 00:32:57,728
it's giving me an idea
about this governor thing.
811
00:32:57,796 --> 00:32:59,897
Maybe we need fresh eyes,
you know,
812
00:32:59,965 --> 00:33:01,365
other people to weigh in.
813
00:33:01,433 --> 00:33:06,270
We should talk to Ron or Tom
or April or Donna or Andy even.
814
00:33:06,338 --> 00:33:08,406
- Sometimes he can be wise.
- Oh, good idea.
815
00:33:08,474 --> 00:33:10,074
Let's call them.
816
00:33:10,142 --> 00:33:11,709
Or you know what else
we could do?
817
00:33:11,777 --> 00:33:13,344
Just talk to them in person.
818
00:33:13,412 --> 00:33:16,214
Hey!
819
00:33:16,281 --> 00:33:18,916
Surprise!
820
00:33:18,984 --> 00:33:20,485
Oh, wow.
821
00:33:20,552 --> 00:33:21,672
It's what you wanted, right,
822
00:33:21,687 --> 00:33:24,155
everyone in the same room
at same time?
823
00:33:24,223 --> 00:33:26,491
I can't believe you.
824
00:33:26,558 --> 00:33:29,994
We're all here together
in the same room...
825
00:33:30,062 --> 00:33:33,097
in this room.
826
00:33:33,165 --> 00:33:35,733
I don't think
I could be happier right now.
827
00:33:35,801 --> 00:33:36,801
Want to bet?
828
00:33:36,869 --> 00:33:39,070
- Hi.
- Oh, Ann's here!
829
00:33:39,138 --> 00:33:40,938
Ann.
Ann's here!
830
00:33:41,006 --> 00:33:42,340
- Hi!
- Oh!
831
00:33:42,407 --> 00:33:43,541
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
832
00:33:43,609 --> 00:33:45,243
- How you doing?
- Oh, good.
833
00:33:45,310 --> 00:33:47,178
- You guys, Ann's here.
- Aww.
834
00:33:47,246 --> 00:33:48,646
- Should we move away from here?
- Yeah, yeah.
835
00:33:48,714 --> 00:33:51,315
- This could go on for some time.
- Ohh!
836
00:33:55,707 --> 00:33:57,043
Your hair looks amazing,
by the way.
837
00:33:57,211 --> 00:33:58,644
You look like
a cartoon princess.
838
00:33:58,712 --> 00:34:00,880
Oh, thank you! That's from the pills
I was telling you about.
839
00:34:00,948 --> 00:34:02,115
I took some of those,
840
00:34:02,182 --> 00:34:03,349
but I don't know,
they didn't do anything,
841
00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:04,751
and they kind of upset
my stomach.
842
00:34:04,818 --> 00:34:06,185
No, no, no.
You're supposed to crack them
843
00:34:06,253 --> 00:34:08,288
and leave them on your hair
overnight, not eat them.
844
00:34:08,355 --> 00:34:09,823
Oh, no.
845
00:34:09,890 --> 00:34:12,459
Well, it's confusing
'cause they're delicious.
846
00:34:12,526 --> 00:34:14,728
Because my first book
was such a smash,
847
00:34:14,795 --> 00:34:16,835
I had to come up with
a new angle for the follow-up.
848
00:34:16,897 --> 00:34:19,866
Then it hit me...
Failure 2.0: Failing to Fail.
849
00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:21,601
- Love it.
- How's everything?
850
00:34:21,669 --> 00:34:23,709
You properly treating yourself
out there in Seattle?
851
00:34:23,771 --> 00:34:24,838
In a manner of speaking.
852
00:34:24,906 --> 00:34:26,673
Joe and I spend most of our time
on the foundation.
853
00:34:27,861 --> 00:34:29,433
I can't believe
you went nonprofit.
854
00:34:29,477 --> 00:34:30,444
I mean, I love you.
855
00:34:30,512 --> 00:34:31,845
You're one of my best friends,
856
00:34:31,913 --> 00:34:34,014
but you have betrayed me
and everything we stand for.
857
00:34:34,082 --> 00:34:35,816
- You've changed.
- Maybe you're right.
858
00:34:35,884 --> 00:34:37,918
By the way, what time is it?
859
00:34:37,986 --> 00:34:40,454
Oh, it looks like
it's half past spla-Dow!
860
00:34:40,522 --> 00:34:41,755
What?
861
00:34:41,823 --> 00:34:43,056
I take it all back.
862
00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,324
That's a lot of diamonds.
863
00:34:44,392 --> 00:34:46,112
Give me, give me, give me,
give me, give me!
864
00:34:46,161 --> 00:34:48,862
Hey, Oliver.
Hey, Leslie.
865
00:34:48,930 --> 00:34:50,631
- Hello, Ann.
- Hi, April.
866
00:34:50,698 --> 00:34:52,833
Your kids are,
like, surprisingly awesome.
867
00:34:52,901 --> 00:34:53,901
Thank you.
868
00:34:53,902 --> 00:34:55,135
Did you use an egg donor
869
00:34:55,203 --> 00:34:57,571
or give Chris a hall pass
for a night?
870
00:34:57,639 --> 00:35:00,140
Once again,
they are my biological children.
871
00:35:00,208 --> 00:35:02,276
Once again,
I don't believe you.
872
00:35:02,344 --> 00:35:05,913
Ann, you rainbow-infused
space unicorn.
873
00:35:05,981 --> 00:35:09,483
Ann, you beautiful,
sassy mannequin come to life.
874
00:35:09,551 --> 00:35:11,886
Ann, you opalescent tree shark.
875
00:35:11,954 --> 00:35:14,355
Leslie, you are the master
of the metaphor.
876
00:35:14,423 --> 00:35:15,756
Oh.
877
00:35:15,824 --> 00:35:18,192
I recently compared her
to a nutrient-rich chia seed.
878
00:35:18,260 --> 00:35:19,427
What's that thing
on your wrist?
879
00:35:19,494 --> 00:35:20,995
Oh!
880
00:35:23,465 --> 00:35:25,633
You are extremely healthy.
881
00:35:25,701 --> 00:35:28,402
I do that literally
50 times a day.
882
00:35:28,470 --> 00:35:31,639
Aren't you afraid that thing
might give you cancer?
883
00:35:31,707 --> 00:35:33,274
Well, I am now.
884
00:35:33,342 --> 00:35:35,276
Well, there he is.
885
00:35:35,344 --> 00:35:38,112
Chip Traeger,
you old son of a gun.
886
00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:39,647
Andy, it's Chris.
887
00:35:39,715 --> 00:35:41,816
Is it?
888
00:35:41,883 --> 00:35:43,251
Ha! Huh.
889
00:35:43,319 --> 00:35:46,454
Hello, Jack.
Ron Swanson.
890
00:35:46,522 --> 00:35:47,789
Strong handshake.
891
00:35:47,856 --> 00:35:49,657
- Well done, you two.
- Thank you.
892
00:35:49,725 --> 00:35:51,392
So are you
gonna have another one?
893
00:35:51,460 --> 00:35:53,494
Um...
894
00:35:55,130 --> 00:35:57,399
- Shh.
- Shh.
895
00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:01,135
'Cause--
'cause he's sleeping?
896
00:36:01,203 --> 00:36:02,670
How can you tell?
897
00:36:02,738 --> 00:36:04,172
Oh,
it's a common misconception
898
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:06,007
that the Oculus
holds all of the power.
899
00:36:06,075 --> 00:36:07,342
It's actually the Lamplighter.
900
00:36:07,409 --> 00:36:09,143
Ann! Oh, my God!
It's happening.
901
00:36:09,211 --> 00:36:11,840
It's totally happening.
Our kids are falling in love.
902
00:36:11,847 --> 00:36:13,248
This is good.
Okay, remember.
903
00:36:13,315 --> 00:36:15,550
If this is ever gonna work, we
have to pretend to disapprove.
904
00:36:15,618 --> 00:36:17,519
Yeah, right, good call.
905
00:36:17,586 --> 00:36:18,987
Hey!
906
00:36:19,055 --> 00:36:20,355
- Leslie, no.
- Oh.
907
00:36:20,423 --> 00:36:23,058
Who cares?
908
00:36:23,125 --> 00:36:25,894
Ann Arbor, Michigan,
is literally the greatest city
909
00:36:25,961 --> 00:36:27,796
that I have ever lived in,
910
00:36:27,863 --> 00:36:30,231
but Pawnee is better,
so we're moving back.
911
00:36:30,299 --> 00:36:31,466
- That's great.
- Yeah.
912
00:36:31,534 --> 00:36:33,535
I'm gonna run admissions
at Indiana.
913
00:36:33,602 --> 00:36:35,270
I'm trading Wolverines
for Hoosiers.
914
00:36:35,337 --> 00:36:37,773
Well, you're getting
the better end of that deal.
915
00:36:38,441 --> 00:36:39,841
Tom!
916
00:36:39,909 --> 00:36:42,911
I took the quiz in your book
about what kind of person I am.
917
00:36:42,979 --> 00:36:44,112
I'm a "Ron."
918
00:36:44,180 --> 00:36:45,881
Ha!
I'm usually a "Tom,"
919
00:36:45,948 --> 00:36:47,716
but sometimes I'm a "Donna."
920
00:36:47,784 --> 00:36:49,785
Last time I took it,
I was a "Tom."
921
00:36:49,852 --> 00:36:52,621
What?
No.
922
00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:53,822
No, no, no!
923
00:36:53,890 --> 00:36:55,357
Take it again!
924
00:36:55,424 --> 00:36:57,626
I got to go recalibrate
the quiz.
925
00:37:02,213 --> 00:37:05,550
♪ Things I really want to do
926
00:37:06,518 --> 00:37:08,185
So did anyone
have any insights
927
00:37:08,253 --> 00:37:09,854
on our "running for governor"
situation?
928
00:37:10,122 --> 00:37:11,842
I've been so busy
catching up with everyone,
929
00:37:11,890 --> 00:37:13,250
I haven't had a chance
to ask them.
930
00:37:13,258 --> 00:37:14,759
- Yeah, me neither.
- Okay, here's what I think.
931
00:37:14,826 --> 00:37:16,460
I hate
when we're on opposite sides.
932
00:37:16,528 --> 00:37:18,195
It stinks.
933
00:37:18,263 --> 00:37:20,531
Plus, if one of us runs,
it doesn't mean we're gonna win.
934
00:37:20,599 --> 00:37:23,134
Right, and it's not like
this is the only career option
935
00:37:23,201 --> 00:37:24,335
for either of us.
936
00:37:24,402 --> 00:37:26,570
So all that matters
is that we are good.
937
00:37:26,638 --> 00:37:29,507
Right,
which is why I have an idea.
938
00:37:29,574 --> 00:37:32,042
I think we should flip a coin.
I mean it.
939
00:37:32,110 --> 00:37:35,346
Let's literally flip a coin,
because whoever runs
940
00:37:35,413 --> 00:37:38,115
is gonna do a great job,
and whoever doesn't run
941
00:37:38,183 --> 00:37:40,718
is gonna be right alongside
the other one,
942
00:37:40,786 --> 00:37:43,454
offering advice and support
and whatever they need.
943
00:37:43,522 --> 00:37:44,688
So it doesn't matter.
944
00:37:44,756 --> 00:37:46,157
So let's flip a coin.
945
00:37:46,224 --> 00:37:48,125
Okay, you, Leslie Knope,
946
00:37:48,193 --> 00:37:52,530
the queen of planning and
binders and pro-and-con lists,
947
00:37:52,597 --> 00:37:55,866
you want to leave this
to chance?
948
00:37:55,934 --> 00:38:01,572
Yes, because whatever's next,
you and I are in it together.
949
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,041
So let's go tell everybody,
and they can participate,
950
00:38:04,109 --> 00:38:05,876
and they can sign the coin,
and then, you know, the coin
951
00:38:05,944 --> 00:38:08,648
will eventually make its way
into the Smithsonian.
952
00:38:10,566 --> 00:38:12,500
Okay, everybody, gather around.
953
00:38:12,568 --> 00:38:15,269
First of all, I just have to say
that all of you in the same room
954
00:38:15,337 --> 00:38:16,938
at the same time
with your children here,
955
00:38:17,005 --> 00:38:18,339
it's like
it's the greatest thing
956
00:38:18,407 --> 00:38:20,247
that's ever happened
in the history of America.
957
00:38:20,309 --> 00:38:22,744
And secondly,
Ben and I have an announcement.
958
00:38:22,811 --> 00:38:25,113
Leslie's running
for governor of Indiana.
959
00:38:25,180 --> 00:38:27,982
What?
960
00:38:28,050 --> 00:38:29,384
Bully for you, Knope.
961
00:38:29,452 --> 00:38:30,552
That's amazing.
962
00:38:30,619 --> 00:38:32,253
Yeah, she got approached
by the DNC,
963
00:38:32,321 --> 00:38:34,422
and they think she has
a great shot to win.
964
00:38:34,490 --> 00:38:37,258
Indiana native,
supremely qualified,
965
00:38:37,326 --> 00:38:39,928
and she wrote
that she wanted to be governor
966
00:38:39,995 --> 00:38:42,764
in her kindergarten
dream journal.
967
00:38:42,832 --> 00:38:45,533
Just makes sense.
968
00:38:48,638 --> 00:38:49,938
So I'm running for governor.
969
00:38:50,006 --> 00:38:51,640
Yeah!
970
00:38:51,707 --> 00:38:53,408
Ben is gonna be
running my campaign
971
00:38:53,476 --> 00:38:54,843
because he's a super genius,
972
00:38:54,911 --> 00:38:57,879
and he's got a tight,
compact, little body
973
00:38:57,947 --> 00:39:00,882
like an Italian sports car.
974
00:39:00,950 --> 00:39:03,151
But right now I'd like
to make a toast.
975
00:39:03,219 --> 00:39:06,555
When we worked here together,
976
00:39:06,622 --> 00:39:10,258
we fought, scratched,
and clawed
977
00:39:10,326 --> 00:39:13,128
to make people's lives
a tiny bit better.
978
00:39:13,196 --> 00:39:15,797
That's what public service
is all about--
979
00:39:15,865 --> 00:39:18,533
Small, incremental change
every day.
980
00:39:18,601 --> 00:39:20,869
Teddy Roosevelt once said,
981
00:39:20,937 --> 00:39:24,005
"Far and away, the best prize
that life has to offer
982
00:39:24,073 --> 00:39:27,809
is a chance to work hard
at work worth doing."
983
00:39:27,877 --> 00:39:32,214
And I would add
that what makes work worth doing
984
00:39:32,281 --> 00:39:34,917
is getting to do it
with people that you love.
985
00:39:34,984 --> 00:39:37,452
I started my career
more than 30 years ago
986
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,921
in the Parks and Recreation
Department
987
00:39:38,988 --> 00:39:41,423
right here in Pawnee, Indiana.
988
00:39:41,491 --> 00:39:43,659
I've had a lot
of different jobs
989
00:39:43,726 --> 00:39:46,028
including two terms
as your governor,
990
00:39:46,095 --> 00:39:50,265
and soon a new,
unknown challenge awaits me,
991
00:39:50,333 --> 00:39:54,536
which to me, even now,
is thrilling
992
00:39:54,604 --> 00:39:55,837
because I love the work.
993
00:39:55,905 --> 00:39:58,473
Not to say that public service
isn't sexy,
994
00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:00,676
because it definitely is,
995
00:40:00,744 --> 00:40:03,679
but that's not why we do it.
996
00:40:03,747 --> 00:40:05,414
We do it
because we get the chance
997
00:40:05,482 --> 00:40:09,151
to work hard
at work worth doing...
998
00:40:09,219 --> 00:40:12,488
alongside a team of people
we love.
999
00:40:12,555 --> 00:40:17,626
So I thank those people
who've walked with me,
1000
00:40:17,694 --> 00:40:20,629
and I thank you for this honor.
1001
00:40:20,697 --> 00:40:23,098
Now, go find your team,
and get to work.
1002
00:40:29,606 --> 00:40:31,674
In addition to Governor
Knope's honorary doctorate
1003
00:40:31,742 --> 00:40:33,509
from the School
of Public Policy,
1004
00:40:33,577 --> 00:40:37,179
in recognition of all she's done
for the people of Indiana,
1005
00:40:37,247 --> 00:40:41,417
the campus library
will henceforth bear her name.
1006
00:40:43,987 --> 00:40:47,189
[under breath]
A [bleep] library?
1007
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,995
Yeah, that should do it.
The swing is fixed.
1008
00:40:53,063 --> 00:40:55,498
- Yeah!
- All right.
1009
00:40:55,565 --> 00:40:57,666
Well, there you have it, sir.
1010
00:40:57,734 --> 00:41:00,036
Another problem solved
by the hard work
1011
00:41:00,103 --> 00:41:02,638
of dedicated public servants.
1012
00:41:02,706 --> 00:41:04,740
Okay, great.
1013
00:41:04,808 --> 00:41:06,342
Bye.
1014
00:41:06,410 --> 00:41:08,477
Yeah, that's about right.
1015
00:41:08,545 --> 00:41:10,546
Okay, well...
1016
00:41:12,682 --> 00:41:13,682
Hang on.
1017
00:41:13,683 --> 00:41:14,950
Gayle made me promise
1018
00:41:15,018 --> 00:41:17,019
to get a quick picture
just for old times' sake.
1019
00:41:17,087 --> 00:41:19,223
Good idea.
Garry had a good idea.
1020
00:41:20,290 --> 00:41:21,657
Oh, the lighting's all wrong.
1021
00:41:21,725 --> 00:41:23,045
I'm gonna
send you a glamour shot.
1022
00:41:23,060 --> 00:41:24,293
Just Photoshop me in later.
1023
00:41:24,361 --> 00:41:25,862
I'm not gonna show up
in that picture anyway
1024
00:41:25,929 --> 00:41:27,263
because I'm a vampire.
1025
00:41:27,331 --> 00:41:29,531
Hey, babe, for this picture,
should I be Burt Macklin,
1026
00:41:29,566 --> 00:41:31,968
Johnny Karate,
or my new character,
1027
00:41:32,035 --> 00:41:34,637
Sergeant Thunderfist, MD?
1028
00:41:34,705 --> 00:41:35,972
Where did you get that?
1029
00:41:36,039 --> 00:41:37,159
I found it in the sandbox.
1030
00:41:37,207 --> 00:41:38,341
Ew!
1031
00:41:38,408 --> 00:41:39,642
Go Macklin.
1032
00:41:39,710 --> 00:41:41,611
- Macklin's the hottest.
- Get on with it.
1033
00:41:41,678 --> 00:41:43,813
I can't hold this smile forever.
I look ridiculous.
1034
00:41:43,925 --> 00:41:45,826
Okay, hang on.
Okay.
1035
00:41:49,027 --> 00:41:50,533
You ready, babe?
1036
00:41:52,067 --> 00:41:53,270
Yes.
1037
00:41:55,204 --> 00:41:56,366
I'm ready.
1038
00:41:58,404 --> 00:42:01,472
♪ Well it's all right ♪
1039
00:42:01,506 --> 00:42:03,271
♪ Riding around in the breeze ♪
1040
00:42:03,305 --> 00:42:06,974
♪ Well it's all right ♪
1041
00:42:07,008 --> 00:42:08,941
♪ If you live the life
you please ♪
1042
00:42:08,975 --> 00:42:12,676
♪ Well it's all right ♪
1043
00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:14,746
♪ Doing the best you can ♪
1044
00:42:14,780 --> 00:42:18,313
♪ Well it's all right ♪
1045
00:42:18,347 --> 00:42:20,584
♪ As long as you lend a hand ♪
1046
00:42:30,450 --> 00:42:33,277
That is a series wrap
on Parks and Recreation.
1047
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:38,800
Sync by Alice | Thank you honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net