AAH!
[COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO]
HA HA!
PEE-WEE’S PLAYHOUSE.
AAH!
♪ COME ON IN AND PULL YOURSELF UP A CHAIR ♪
LIKE CHAIRRY!
♪ LET THE FUN BEGIN ♪
♪ IT’S TIME TO LET DOWN YOUR HAIR ♪
HA HA HA!
♪ PEE-WEE’S SURE EXCITED ♪
UH-HUH!
♪ ’CAUSE ALL HIS FRIENDS HAVE BEEN INVITED ♪
THAT’S YOU!
♪ TO GO WACKY ♪
♪ AT PEE-WEE’S PLAYHOUSE ♪
ARR!
♪ THERE’S A CRAZY RHYTHM ♪
♪ COMING FROM PUPPETLAND ♪
WHAT’S THAT?
♪ DIRTY DOG, COOL CAT, CHICKY BABY ♪
♪ ARE THE PUPPET BAND ♪
YEAH!
♪ HE’S GOT A COUPLE OF TALKING FISH ♪
♪ AND A GENIE WHO’LL GRANT A WISH ♪
♪ GOLLY, IT’S CUCKOO ♪
♪ AT PEE-WEE’S PLAYHOUSE ♪
♪ GLOBEY’S SPINNIN’, MR. WINDOW’S GRINNIN’ ♪
♪ ’CAUSE PTERRI’S FLYIN’ BY ♪
HELLO!
♪ THE FLOWERS ARE SINGIN’ ♪
♪ THE PICTURE PHONE IS RINGIN’ ♪
♪ AND THE DINOSAUR FAMILY GOES, "HI" ♪
♪ MR. KITE’S SOARIN’ ♪
♪ CONKY’S STILL A-SNORIN’ ♪
♪ THERE’S A FLASHING MAGIC SCREEN ♪
HA HA!
♪ THE COWNTESS IS SO CLASSY ♪
♪ RANDY’S KIND OF SASSY ♪
♪ A NUTTIER ESTABLISHMENT YOU’VE NEVER SEEN ♪
♪ SPEND A DAY WITH PEE-WEE, AND YOU’LL SEE WHAT WE MEAN ♪
COME ON!
♪ GET OUT OF BED ♪
♪ THERE’LL BE NO MORE NAPPIN’ ♪
WAKE UP!
♪ ’CAUSE YOU’VE LANDED IN A PLACE ♪
♪ WHERE ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ♪
♪ NOW WE’VE GIVEN YOU FAIR WARNING ♪
♪ IT’S GOING TO BE THAT KIND OF MORNING ♪
♪ FOR BEING WACKY ♪
♪ FOR GETTING NUTTY ♪
♪ GOLLY, IT’S CUCKOO ♪
♪ AT PEE-WEE’S PLAYHOUSE ♪
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
♪ LA LA LA LA LA ♪
OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH.
♪ HMM, HMM, HMM, LA LA LA LA ♪
OH. HELLO.
GOOD DAY.
I’M PLAYING WITH CLAY. HA HA.
WAIT A MINUTE, PTERRI. YOU CAN’T DO THAT.
TOO BAD, GLOBEY. I JUST DID.
BUT YOU’RE NOT PLAYING RIGHT.
I AM SO PLAYING RIGHT.
NO, YOU’RE NOT.
I AM SO. ARE NOT.
AM SO. ARE NOT.
AM SO! ARE NOT!
AM SO. ARE NOT.
AM SO! ARE NOT!
AM SO. ARE NOT.
YES, I AM.
YOU ARE NOT.
I AM, TOO.
COME, COME, COME!
WHAT IS ALL THE BICKERING ABOUT?!
PTERRI THINKS HE WON.
I DID WIN!
BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY.
PTERRI, ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE RULES?
I’M TRYING TO,
BUT THE RULES ARE HARD TO FOLLOW.
NOT ALWAYS. THERE’S SOME RULES
WE OBEY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.
UH...TAKE THE LAW OF GRAVITY, FOR EXAMPLE.
I KNOW THAT LAW, PEE-WEE.
THAT KEEPS PEOPLE FROM FALLING
OFF THE EARTH.
THAT’S RIGHT, GLOBEY.
PTERRI, WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO FLAP YOUR WINGS
IN ORDER TO GET OFF THE GROUND?
MMM...I GIVE UP. WHY?
BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN’T,
YOU WOULDN’T GET OFF THE GROUND.
HMM. I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
HEH HEH. LET ME SHOW YOU.
NOW...THE LAW OF GRAVITY SAYS WHAT GOES UP...
MUST COME DOWN. HEH HEH.
OO-LA-LA.
SO. YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME, PEE-WEE?
NOT EXACTLY, CHANDELIER.
I’M TRYIN’ TO ILLUSTRATE THE LAW OF GRAVITY.
I CAN ILLUSTRATE THE LAW OF GRAVITY, PEE-WEE.
WATCH.
GRAVITY IS THE FORCE THAT PULLS THINGS TO EARTH.
GRAVITY HOLDS EVERYTHING ON THE EARTH IN PLACE.
HA HA HA! I LOVE THE LAW OF GRAVITY.
THEN WHY DON’T YOU MARRY IT?
HA HA HA HA.
EVEN THE PLAYHOUSE HAS RULES, PEE-WEE.
YES, THAT’S RIGHT, FLOORY.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHO MAKES UP THOSE RULES?
UH, YOU.
CORRECT. HEH HEH.
HEY, THAT REMINDS ME.
LET’S FIND OUT WHAT TODAY’S SECRET WORD IS.
CONKY...
GOOD MORNING, CONKY!
CONKY!
SPEAK TO ME!
OH. HA HA!
CONKY 2000, READY TO ASSIST YOU.
GOOD MORNING, CONKY.
WHAT’S TODAY’S SECRET WORD?
COMING RIGHT UP, RIGHT UP.
[BEEPING AND BANGING]
HA HA!
TODAY’S SECRET WORD IS--
"END!"
NOW...YOU ALL REMEMBER WHAT TO DO
WHENEVER ANYONE SAYS THE SECRET WORD, RIGHT?
SCREAM! SCREAM!
THAT’S RIGHT! FOR THE REST OF THE DAY,
WHENEVER ANYONE SAYS THE SECRET WORD,
SCREAM REAL LOUD!
READY? LET’S PRACTICE.
OH, CHAIRRY?
WHAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF BEGIN?
END.
AAAHH! AAAHH!
SEE HOW MUCH FUN YOU CAN HAVE
WHEN EVERYONE FOLLOWS THE RULES? HA HA!
SOMEONE’S COMING, PEE-WEE.
AND IT LOOKS LIKE
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN PUPPETLAND.
MISS YVONNE!
GOOD MORNING, PEE-WEE.
HI, MISS YVONNE.
YOU CERTAINLY LOOK RAVISHING TODAY.
OH, THANK YOU. I BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT.
PRESENTS! I LOVE PRESENTS!
WHAT IS IT, MISS YVONNE?
CAN’T YOU TELL? IT’S A BOOKEND.
WHERE’S THE OTHER END?
AAAHH! AAAHH!
IN THE BOX.
THERE’S THE FRONT END.
AAAHH! AAAHH!
AND THERE’S THE REAR END.
AAAHH! AAAHH!
OH, I GET IT-- FRONT END...
AAAHH! AAAHH!
REAR END.
AAAHH! AAAHH!
TWO ENDS.
AAAHH! AAAHH!
HMM. NOW ALL I NEED ARE SOME BOOKS.
HEY! I KNOW. LET’S PLAY LIBRARY.
[QUIETLY] WELCOME TO THE P.W. HERMAN LIBRARY,
WHERE OUR MOTTO IS,
"COME ON IN AND CHECK IT OUT."
HEH HEH.
IN OBSERVANCE OF STANDARD LIBRARY OPERATION,
PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ANY UNNECESSARY CONVERSATION.
OR, IF YOU MUST CARRY ON BUSINESS
WITH THE LIBRARIAN,
DO IT IN A HUSHED TONE OF VOICE.
DOES THAT MEAN WE CAN’T TALK?
DUH!
I MEAN--
[SOFTLY] Duh.
PSST. HEY, PTERRI, WHAT YOU READIN’?
SHH!
YAH, BOOKWORMS.
HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[CONTINUES CHUCKLING]
MISS!
[GIGGLING]
MISS! WOULD YOU PLEASE KEEP YOUR LAUGHTER TO YOURSELF?
SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!
SHH!
[RANDY CHUCKLES]
[POP]
[POP POP]
[POP]
[POP POP POP]
SHH.
[POP POP]
[CRUNCH]
[CRUNCH CRUNCH]
[CRUNCH]
EXCUSE ME.
[SOFTLY] PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOICE.
[IN A DEEP VOICE] EXCUSE ME.
I’D LIKE TO CHECK THIS OUT.
MAY I SEE YOUR CARD, PLEASE?
I’M SORRY, MISS, UH...
TRALALA.
MISS TRALALA, BUT OUR RECORDS INDICATE
THAT YOU HAVE A BOOK OUT THAT’S OVERDUE. HEH HEH.
I CAN’T LET YOU CHECK ANY OTHER BOOKS OUT
UNTIL YOU RETURN THE OVERDUE BOOK
AND PAY THE LATE CHARGES.
THAT WAS, UH... PART-TIME DOG, PART ONE.
WHERE IS THE BOOK?
MY DOG RAN AWAY WITH IT.
HMM. HEH HEH.
THAT COMES TO $2,352.18.
WILL THAT BE CASH OR CHARGE?
I DON’T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY!
WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I’M AT MY WIT’S END.
AAAHH! AAAHH!
SILENCE!
I GUESS YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO PAY YOUR BILL OFF
BY WORKING AT THE LIBRARY. YOU CAN BEGIN
BY ALPHABETIZING THAT STACK OF BOOKS RIGHT OVER THERE!
HA HA HA!
SHH.
HI, COOL CAT, DIRTY DOG, CHICKY BABE.
HOW ABOUT A STORY? TELL US YOUR FAV.
WELL, AFTER A THOROUGH ANALYSIS,
OUR FAVORITE STORY GOES LIKE THIS.
A PEANUT SAT ON A RAILROAD TRACK.
HIS HEART WAS ALL A-FLUTTER.
ALONG CAME A TRAIN AT 9:15. TOOT TOOT--
PEANUT BUTTER.
HA HA HA! COOL CAT, I LOVE THAT STORY,
EXCEPT FOR THE PEANUT PART.
THAT WAS KINDA GORY. HEH HEH.
HEY, PEE-WEE!
WHAT IS IT, CLOCKEY?
HERE’S MY FAVORITE STORY. WATCH.
[SNORING]
[ALARM RINGS]
[PLAYS TUNE]
HEY, PEE-WEE, HERE COMES RICARDO.
YAY! YAY!
RICARDO!
HOLA, PEE-WEE.
RICARDO?
RICARDO!
BUENOS DIAS, MISS YVONNE.
BUENOS DIAS, RICARDO.
SO, DID YOU JUST GET OUT OF SOCCER PRACTICE OR WHAT?
I’VE BEEN TAKING BALLET CLASSES
TO HELP IMPROVE MY FORM ON THE SOCCER FIELD.
HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!
BALLET CAN HELP YOU GAIN MORE AGICONTROL. MUSCLE
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL.
BALLET CAN TELL SOME OF THE MOST WONDERFUL STORIES
WITHOUT USING ANY WORDS.
SO, WHAT’S YOUR STORY, RICARDO?
THE MOST FAMOUS OF ALL BALLETS--
LA CASCANUECES.
OH, EN INGLES-- THE NUTCRACKER.
THE NUTCRACKER?! I LOVE THAT STORY!
HA HA!
[NUTCRACKPLAYS]
AAH!
[CRASH]
ANOTHER KIND OF DANCE
THAT TELLS A STORY IS THE HULA.
JUST WATCH THE HANDS.
SOMETHING’S WRONG.
I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
I NEED ONE OF THOSE GRASS SKIRTS.
YOU KNOW, THE KIND THAT SWISH AROUND?
SWISH? DID SOMEBODY SAY "SWISH"?
OH!
ON THE ISLAND OF OAHU
LIVED A WAHINI- THAT’S A GIRL--
WHO LOVED A KANE-- THAT’S A BOY.
AND HE PLAYED HIS UKULELE
WHILE SHE SANG OF THE HOKULU.
THOSE ARE STARS UP IN THE SKY.
AND SOON THEY WERE MARRIED.
AND THEY STARTED RAISING CANE.
[MUSIC BEAT PICKS UP SPEED]
ALOHA.
HEY, MISS YVONNE, WHAT’S FOR SNACK TIME?
I’VE GOT JUST THE THING FOR THE DAY--
STORYBOOK SNACKS.
MMM! LOOKS MUY DELICIOSO, MISS YVONNE.
OH, IT IS.
I HAVE PORRIDGE
FROM GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS,
BEAN SPROUTS FROM JACK AND THE BEANSTALK,
MUSHROOMS FROM ALICE IN WONDERLAND,
AND THREE LITTLE PIGS IN A BLANKET.
HA HA! DO YOU GET IT?
[GIGGLES UNEASILY]
HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA!
WHAT’S THIS ORANGE GOOP?
OH, THAT’S PUMPKIN
FROM PETER-PETER PUMPKIN EATER.
MMM. PUMPKINY. HA HA.
AND HERE ARE BREADCRUMBS FROM HANSEL AND GRETEL.
OH, GRETEL, HOW WILL WE EVER FIND OUR WAY HOME?
THE BIRDS HAVE EATEN ALL OUR BREADCRUMBS.
HA HA!
MMM! CRUMMY.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
AND FOR DESSERT,
I HAVE TARTS FROM THE QUEEN OF HEARTS.
ANYONE WANT TO STEAL ONE?
MMM!
MUCHAS GRACIAS.
[WOOF]
WHAT’S THAT, ROOSEVELT?
[WOOF WOOF]
YOU’RE HUNGRY, TOO?
HMM. THAT REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER STORY.
PEE-WEE HERMAN WENT TO HIS CUPBOARD
TO GET HIS POOR DOGGIE A BONE.
THAT’S YOU, ROOSEVELT. HA HA!
BUT WHEN HE GOT THERE, THE CUPBOARD WAS BARE!
AND SO POOR DOGGIE ROOSEVELT HAD NONE.
HA HA! HAHA HA.
[GROWLING]
LIGHTEN UP, ROOSEVELT. I WAS JUST KIDDING.
HA HA.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
MM-WAHH.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
[DRUMROLL PLAYS]
[ONE PERSON CLAPS]
EHHH...
[LAUGHTER]
UHHH...
UHHH...AAH!
[HUMMING]
THERE YOU GO, ROOSEVELT.
HEY, PEE-WEE... GRAB YOUR MAGIC BEANS
AND JUMP IN.
OK, MAGIC SCREEN!
HERE I COME!
♪ CONNECT THE MAGIC BEANS ♪
♪ LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ CONNECT THE MAGIC BEANS ♪
♪ LA LA LA LA ♪
WOW!
A GIANT BEANSTALK!
I WONDER WHERE IT LEADS.
OOH.
WOW!
WHAT A COOL VIEW.
AAH!
VERTIGO!
[LOUD RUMBLING]
UH-OH.
SOUNDS LIKE THUNDER.
I HOPE IT’S NOT GONNA RAIN. HEH HEH.
Giant: FEE, FIE, FOE, FUM.
FEE, FIE, FOE, FUM.
WHY DOES THAT RING A BELL?
[LOUD THUD]
FEE, FIE, FOE, FUM.
I SMELL THE HAND OF AN ENGLISHMAN.
FUNNY, ALL I CAN SMELL IS YOUR BIG FEET.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-- BIG FEET, BIG...
AAH! A GIANT!
AAH!
HELP! CHAIRRY.
HELP, I’M FALLING!
AAH!
OH, WHIPLASH!
I’M GONNA SUE YOU, MAGIC SCREEN! HA HA!
HA HA HA. PEE-WEE, YOU’RE FUNNY.
PEE-WEE, LOOK. WE MADE OUR OWN BOOKS.
WE FOLDED
SOME COLORED CONSTRUCTION PAPER
IN HALF... PUNCHED 2 HOLES...
AND THEN TIED A PRETTY PIECE OF YARN
TO KEEP ALL THE PAGES TOGETHER.
I MADE THIS ONE FOR MISS YVONNE.
[MISS YVONNE CHUCKLES]
HMM. "MI DIARRHEO"?
MI DIARIO.
IT’S A DIARY.
IN IT, YOU CAN WRITE DOWN
ALL YOUR MOST BURNING SECRETS.
OH...AND I MADE RICARDO A LOGBOOK
SO HE CAN KEEP TRACK OF EACH TIME HE SCORES
IN A GAME.
"TO RICARDO, MY FAVORITE TIGHT END."
AAAHH! AAAHH!
AND NOW, ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORYTELLERS,
EL HOMBRE.
DONDE HAY MAL, DONDE HAY MALICIO,
DONDE HAY PELIGRO, BUSQUEN, PREGUNTEN, LLAMEN POR...
HEROE DE LA JUVENTUD...
EL HOMBRE.
AMIGO DE TODOS.
EL HOMBRE, SUPERHEROE.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
QUE BELLA CHIQUITA.
PARECE SOLA Y CON HAMBRE.
TU MADRE Y TU PADRE ME DIJO
QUE TE LLEVO A SU AMIGO EN MI CARRO.
VAMONOS A MI CASA.
¿OK?
ALL RIGHT?
OOH, ¿QUE-- QUE PASA?
LO SIENTO, SEñOR.
MI AMIGA ANDA CON SU AMIGA.
iMIRE! iMIRE! iEL HOMBRE!
QUE NO ACCEPTES DULCES
NI VIAJES EN CARROS DE PERSONAS QUE TU NO CONOCES.
ES MUY PELIGROSO.
LOS VIAJES SOLAMENTE CON AMIGOS QUE TU CONOCES
O TU MADRE O SU PADRE.
iMIRA! EL HOMBRE TRAE NUESTRA HIJA A CASA.
iMAMA! iPAPA!
iMI CORAZON!
iVIVA EL HOMBRE!
ADIOS, AMIGOS. VAMONOS.
WELL...I SURE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW.
UNTIL NEXT WEEK--
BUT, PEE-WEE... YOU DIDN’T TELL US
YOUR FAVORITE STORY.
OK. HERE GOES. ONCE UPON A TIME,
THERE WAS A BOY NAMED PEE-WEE
WHO HAD A PLAYHOUSE FILLED WITH LOTS OF FRIENDS
AND COOL STUFF. THEY HAD SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER
THAT THEY COMPLETELY LOST TRACK OF THE TIME
AND, UH...THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
HEH HEH. THE... END.
AAH! AAH!
AAAHHHH!