[DUCKS QUACKING]
AAH!
[GNAWING, MUNCHING]
[EXOTIC BIRDS SQUAWKING]
[BIRDS TWITTERING]
[ROOSTER CROWING]
HA HA.
PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE.
AAH!
♪ COME ON IN AND
PULL YOURSELF UP A CHAIR ♪
LIKE CHAIRRY!
♪ LET THE FUN BEGIN ♪
♪ IT'S TIME
TO LET DOWN YOUR HAIR ♪
HA HA HA!
- ♪ PEE-WEE'S SURE EXCITED ♪
- UH-HUH!
♪ 'CAUSE ALL HIS FRIENDS
HAVE BEEN INVITED ♪
- THAT'S YOU!
- ♪ TO GO WACKY ♪
♪ AT PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE ♪
AAH!
♪ THERE'S A CRAZY RHYTHM ♪
- ♪ COMING FROM PUPPETLAND ♪
- WHAT'S THAT?
♪ DIRTY DOG, COOL CAT,
CHICKY BABY ♪
- ♪ ARE THE PUPPET BAND ♪
- YEAH!
♪ HE'S GOT A COUPLE
OF TALKING FISH ♪
♪ AND A GENIE
WHO'LL GRANT A WISH ♪
♪ GOLLY, IT'S CUCKOO ♪
♪ AT PEE-WEE'S
PLAYHOUSE ♪
♪ GLOBEY'S SPINNIN',
MR. WINDOW'S GRINNIN' ♪
- ♪ 'CAUSE PTERRI'S FLYIN' BY ♪
- HELLO!
♪ HIS FLOWERS ARE SINGIN' ,
THE PICTURE PHONE IS RINGIN' ♪
♪ AND THE DINOSAUR
FAMILY GOES, "HI" ♪
♪ MR. KITE'S SOARIN'
CONKY'S STILL A-SNORIN' ♪
♪ THERE'S A FLASHING
MAGIC SCREEN ♪
HA HA!
♪ THE COWNTESS IS SO CLASSY
RANDY'S KIND OF SASSY ♪
♪ A NUTTIER ESTABLISHMENT
YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ♪
♪ SPEND A DAY WITH PEE-WEE
AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT WE MEAN ♪
COME ON!
♪ GET OUT OF BED ♪
♪ THERE'LL BE
NO MORE NAPPIN' ♪
WAKE UP!
♪ 'CAUSE YOU'VE LANDED
IN A PLACE ♪
♪ WHERE ANYTHING
CAN HAPPEN ♪
♪ NOW WE'VE GIVEN YOU
FAIR WARNING ♪
♪ IT'S GOING TO BE
THAT KIND OF MORNING ♪
♪ FOR BEING WACKY ♪
HA HA!
♪ FOR GETTING NUTTY ♪
♪ GOLLY, IT'S CUCKOO ♪
♪ AT PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE ♪♪
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
OH, GOOD MORNING,
BOYS AND GIRLS.
BOY, IT SURE IS HOT
IN HERE TODAY, HA HA.
AH... UNH.
HA HA.
- AHH.
- AHH...
- HEY!
- AWW.
MAYBE MR. KITE
CAN TELL US
IF THERE'S ANY RELIEF IN SIGHT
FROM THIS HEAT.
MR. KITE!
I'M OVER HERE, PEE-WEE.
THERE ISN'T EVEN
ENOUGH BREEZE TODAY
TO KEEP ME UP IN THE SKY.
NOTHING BUT LOTS
AND LOTS OF SUNSHINE.
WHEW!
MAYBE THE SECRET WORD
WILL COOL US OFF.
[SPINDLE WHIRRING]
WHOOP.
[CONKY POWERING UP]
CONKY 2000, READY TO ASSIST YOU,
PEE-WEE.
GOOD MORNING, CONKY.
WHAT'S TODAY'S SECRET WORD?
[BANGING, WHIRRING]
HEY!
THERE'S TWO SECRET WORDS.
THAT'S RIGHT, PEE-WEE.
GEE, THANKS, CONKY.
TODAY'S FIRST SECRET WORD
IS "HERE."
AND TODAY'S SECOND
SECRET WORD IS "HEAR."
HUH?
OH, I GET IT.
THEY'RE TWO DIFFERENT WORDS THAT
SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME.
CORRECT, PEE-WEE.
HMM, WELL, YOU ALL REMEMBER
WHAT TO DO
WHENEVER ANYONE SAYS
THE SECRET WORD-
I MEAN, SECRET WORDS, RIGHT?
[ALL]
SCREAM!
THAT'S RIGHT!
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY,
WHENEVER ANYONE SAYS
EITHER ONE OF THE SECRET WORDS,
SCREAM REAL LOUD!
READY?
LET'S TRY 'EM BOTH.
OH, GLOBEY?
YES, PEE-WEE?
I WAS JUST WONDERING WHERE
IN THE WORLD IS AUSTRALIA?
THAT'S EASY, PEE-WEE.
IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE.
[ALL SCREAMING]
THAT'S THIS ONE.
H-E-R-E.
NOW, LET'S TRY
THE OTHER ONE.
OH, CHAIRRY, CHAIRRY,
CHAIRRY!
WHAT IS IT, PEE-WEE?
[NO AUDIO]
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
CHAIRRY, WEREN'T YOU
LISTENING?
I WAS LISTENING, PEE-WEE,
I JUST DIDN'T HEAR.
[ALL SCREAMING]
THAT'S THIS ONE- H-E-A-R.
TWO, COUNT 'EM, TWO!
TWO SECRET WORDS TODAY.
HA HA.
WHAT A BARGAIN!
PRESENTING...
[COUGH]
PRESENTING...
[COUGH]
PRESENTING...
[COUGH]
[FLOWERS]
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY.
[COUGHING]
WHAT'S THE MATTER, FLOWERS?
OH, PEE-WEE,
IT'S THE HEAT.
WE'RE PARCHED.
WE'RE DRYING UP.
[COUGHS]
YEAH, WE NEED WATER!
[FLOWERS COUGHING]
BUT I JUST WATERED YOU
YESTERDAY.
YOU DRINK LIKE FISH.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT?
YEAH.
I'D RATHER DRINK LIKE A FISH
THAN SWIM LIKE A FLOWER.
[BOTH]
HA HA HA HA HA!
PEE-WEE, WATER IS
VERY IMPORTANT
TO EVERY LIVING THING,
ESPECIALLY ON A HOT DAY.
HOW ABOUT IF I SHOW THE BOYS
AND GIRLS HOW IMPORTANT IT IS
WHILE YOU
WATER THE FLOWERS?
OKAY, MAGIC SCREEN.
I'LL GO GET THE WATERING PAIL,
AND I'LL MEET YOU BACK HERE!
[ALL SCREAMING]
MAN, ANIMALS,
AND PLANTS ALL NEED WATER.
NEXT TO THE AIR WE BREATHE,
WATER IS PROBABLY
THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING IN OUR LIVES.
WITHOUT IT, ALL LIVING THINGS
WOULD PERISH.
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA,
LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA,
♪ LA, LA, LA,
LA, LA, LA... ♪
HA HA HA!
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA-- ♪
OH!
HEY! OH...
SORRY, MRS. DINOSAUR!
HMPH!
WHEE!
MMM!
THERE WE GO, FLOWERS.
NICE, FRESH WATER.
[SMACKS LIPS]
AHH!
[SMACKS LIPS] AHH!
[BELCHING]
[FLOWERS LAUGHING]
EXCUSE ME.
YOU'RE EXCUSED.
WELL, FEEL BETTER NOW?
[ALL]
YES, THANK YOU! AHEM...
♪ THE KING... THE KING...
THE KING... ♪
♪ OF CARTOONS ♪♪
[ALL]
YAY!
♪♪ [OUT OF TUNE FANFARE]
HI, YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS!
HOW'S IT&
[GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG]
GOING?
OH...
I'M SORRY, PEE-WEE, BUT I WAITED
SO LONG OUT THERE IN THAT HEAT
FOR MY INTRODUCTION
THAT I GUESS
I REALLY WORKED UP
A KING-SIZE THIRST.
YEAH, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE
KIND OF A ROYAL FLUSH.
DO I, DO I?
OH, IT'S TOO HOT FOR ME
TO SHOW ANY CARTOONS.
[ALL]
AWW...
OH, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
I HATE TO DISAPPOINT
ALL MY LOYAL FANS.
FANS?
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!
LET'S MAKE FANS RIGHT NOW.
IT'S EASY.
YOU BOYS AND GIRLS AT HOME CAN
MAKE ONE RIGHT ALONG WITH US.
ALL YOU NEED IS A PIECE OF HEAVY
CONSTRUCTION PAPER,
LIKE THIS, HA HA.
THEN, YOU JUST FOLD IT
LIKE THIS,
AND THEN AGAIN
LIKE THIS,
AND THEN AGAIN LIKE THIS,
AND THEN AGAIN LIKE THIS!
AND THEN AGAIN
LIKE THIS,
AND THEN AGAIN LIKE THIS,
AND THEN AGAIN LIKE THIS.
WHOOP.
HA HA.
LOOK.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL FAN!
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
I MADE THIS ONE FOR YOU,
YOUR MAJESTY!
THANK YOU, PEE-WEE.
OH...
OH, THAT'S MUCH BETTER.
AND NOW,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BOYS AND GIRLS,
FRIENDS OF THE PLAYHOUSE,
AND ALL OF YOU LOYAL,
ROYAL FANS OUT THERE,
LET THE CARTOON BEGIN!
[BIRDS TWEETING]
♪♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC]
HEY, PEE-WEE, HERE COMES
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
IN PUPPETLAND.
IT'S MISS YVONNE!
♪♪ [FANFARE OF HARP MUSIC]
[LAUGHING]
I JUST GOT THIS BEAUTIFUL
NEW DRESS,
SO I THOUGHT I'D RUSH
RIGHT OVER HERE.
[ALL SCREAMING]
AH...
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT?
[LAUGHING]
WELL, IT'S, UH...
REALLY, UH... PUFFY.
OH, YES.
IT WAS DESIGNED FOR ME
BY THE FAMOUS FRENCH DESIGNER
MONSIEUR ROBERT.
[CHUCKLES]
THERE ISN'T ANOTHER ONE LIKE IT
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
I BELIEVE IT!
HA HA.
HELLO, PEE-WEE.
I JUST GOT THIS NEW
DRESS AND I HAD TO
RUSH RIGHT OVER
AND SHOW YOU.
ISN'T IT GROOVY?
LET ME GUESS, IT'S
A ONE-OF-A-KIND ORIGINAL, RIGHT?
WHY, YES,
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
[LAUGHING]
AHH, AHH, AHH!
MISS YVONNE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WEARING MY DRESS?
MRS. RENE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WEARING MY DRESS?
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT
THIS IS AN ORIGINAL DESIGN
BY MONSIEUR ROBERT!
FOR ME!
NO! FOR ME!
LADIES, LADIES,
PLEASE, PLEASE!
COME ON, I M SURE WE CAN
WORK THIS OUT, HUH?
MAYBE A NICE COOL GLASS
OF REFRESHING LEMONADE
WILL HELP US OUT, HUH?
- OH!
- HMPH!
SHEESH.
[HAPPY CHATTER]
♪♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[WOLF WHISTLES, CHEERING]
HERE WE GO.
A NICE, TALL GLASS
OF REFRESHING LEMONADE.
[BOTH]
THANK YOU, PEE-WEE.
[SLURPING]
OOH, SOUR.
I GUESS I FORGOT TO
PUT IN THE SUGAR.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, PEE-WEE.
WE'VE COME TO AN AGREEMENT.
RIGHT-WE BOTH AGREE
THAT WE CAN'T AGREE.
PEE-WEE, WILL YOU PLEASE
BE THE JUDGE
OF WHO GETS TO WEAR THIS DRESS?
MM, ME?
I DON'T KNOW...
I KNOW,
LET'S PLAY COURTHOUSE.
YOU CAN BE THE JUDGE,
PEE-WEE.
AND WE'LL BE THE JURY.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND
LIKE FUN?
WELL, WHILE WE GET READY
TO PLAY COURTHOUSE,
WHY DON'T YOU WATCH
A PENNY CARTOON?
HA HA.
[SLURPS]
BLECH.
[DING]
[STRETCHING, BOING]
[PHONE RINGING]
HELLO, MY NAME IS PENNY.
WELL, MY MOM,
SHE TALKS ON THE PHONE
FOR HOURS AND HOURS
AND HOURS
AND HOURS AND HOURS.
SHE'S TALKING HER BRAINS OUT.
SHE'S JUST TALKING-
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH--
LIKE A MOTOR-MOUTH.
SHE DOESN'T NOTICE NOTHING.
[ALIENS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
WHAT'S THAT, GRAVY I SMELL?
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
MAY I USE THE PHONE?
[FIRE ENGINE BELL CLANGING]
AND FINALLY, SHE LOOKED
DOWN AT HER FEET,
AND THERE WAS
A MILLION ANTS ON HER.
THEY CRAWLED UP HER LEGS.
AND SHE WAS SCREAMING.
[SCREAMING]
[PHONE RINGING]
I NEVER GET A CHANCE
TO TALK ON THE PHONE.
THIS COURT OF PUPPETLAND
IS NOW IN SESSION.
THE HONORABLE JUDGE
PEE-WEE HERMAN PRESIDING.
ALL RISE!
♪♪ [REGAL MUSIC PLAYING]
OH!
[BIRDS TWITTERING]
HA HA.
OKAY, BE SEATED.
NOW STAND UP.
BE SEATED!
NOW STAND UP! BE SEATED!
UP!
SEATED!
UP! SEATED!
UP!
SEATED!
STAND UP!
BE SEATED!
STAND UP! HA HA.
BE SEATED!
HA HA.
JUDGE POWER!
HA HA.
OKAY, NOW,
SINCE MISS YVONNE
AND MRS. RENE CAN'T
BOTH HAVE AN ORIGINAL,
ONE-OF-A-KIND DRESS
DESIGNED BY THE
FAMOUS FRENCH DESIGNER,
MONSIEUR, UH...
[BOTH]
MONSIEUR ROBERT!
MONSIEUR ROBABABLEH...
THEN, WE NOW HAVE TO DECIDE
WHICH ONE OF THEM
CAN WEAR THE DRESS,
MISS YVONNE...
OR MRS. RENE.
HA HA.
OKAY, MISS YVONNE,
WHY DON'T YOU START?
HA HA.
THANK YOU, PEE-WEE.
UH, I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CALL ME "YOUR HONOR."
OH.
OF COURSE.
THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR,
PEE-WEE.
OKAY!
FOR MY FIRST WITNESS,
I WOULD LIKE TO CALL
TO THE STAND GLOBEY.
OKAY, GLOBEY.
RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND.
DO YOU, GLOBEY, PROMISE
TO TELL THE TRUTH,
THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOT MAKE
UP A WHOLE BUNCH OF JUNK
THAT ISN'T THE TRUTH?
YES, I PROMISE.
OKAY.
GO AHEAD, MISS YVONNE.
THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
HA HA.
GLOBEY, WOULD YOU PLEASE
TELL THE COURT
WHO IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN IN PUPPETLAND?
THAT'S EASY.
YOU ARE, MISS YVONNE.
[MOUTHING RETORT]
OH.
THANK YOU, GLOBEY.
AND THAT MEANS A LOT
TO ME, TOO,
COMING FROM A MAN
OF THE WORLD, LIKE YOURSELF.
SINCE I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN IN PUPPETLAND,
THEN I SHOULD BE THE ONE
WHO GETS TO WEAR THIS,
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DRESS
IN PUPPETLAND.
I OBJECT!
THAT MATERIAL IS
IMMATERIAL!
HMM, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT'S SUSTAINED.
NO, IT'S NOT A STAIN.
IT JUST LOOKS
THAT WAY.
ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T REALLY
MATTER.
I REST MY CASE.
WHY?
IS IT TIRED?
HA HA.
OKAY, MRS. RENE,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
PRESENT YOUR SIDE?
OH, BOY, WOULD I!
THANK YOU, OH, MOST
EXALTED ONE,
OH, WISEST OF THE WISE
AND FAIREST OF THE FAIR.
HE WHO IS ALL-KNOWING
AND ALL-SEEING.
HMM.
JUST "YOUR HONOR" WILL DO.
OF COURSE, YOUR HONOR.
I WOULD LIKE TO CALL
AS MY WITNESS
MISS YVONNE!
[EXCITED CHATTER]
QUIET!
ORDER!
ORDER IN THE COURT!
ORDER, ORDER, ORDER!
NOW, MISS YVONNE,
EXACTLY WHEN DID YOU BUY
THIS SO-CALLED ORIGINAL,
ONE-OF-A-KIND DRESS?
WELL, I...
UM...
I MEAN, UH...
THAT IS, UH...
WOULD YOU
REPEAT THE QUESTION?
I GUESS I DIDN'T HEAR.
[ALL SCREAMING]
HA HA.
COURT REPORTER, WOULD YOU PLEASE
PLAY BACK THE QUESTION?
CERTAINLY, YOUR HONOR.
NOW, MISS YVONNE,
EXACTLY WHEN DID YOU BUY
THIS SO-CALLED ORIGINAL,
ONE-OF-A-KIND DRESS?
OH, YES.
I REMEMBER NOW.
I BOUGHT IT THIS MORNING.
AHA!
WELL, I BOUGHT MINE YESTERDAY,
AND SINCE I BOUGHT MINE
BEFORE YOU BOUGHT YOURS,
THEN MINE MUST BE
THE ORIGINAL ORIGINAL,
ONE-OF-A-KIND DRESS DESIGNED
BY THAT FAMOUS FRENCH DESIGNER,
MONSIEUR ROBERT,
AND YOURS IS A FAKE!
- IT'S NOT!
- IS SO!
- IT'S NOT...
- ORDER!
ORDER IN THE COURT!
- IS SO!
- IS NOT!
- IS SO!
- IS NOT!
- IS SO...
- IS NOT...
ORDER, ORDER!
- IS NOT!
- IS SO!
- IS NOT...
- IS SO...
ORDER!
ORDER IN THE COURT!
GOOD, THAT'S BETTER.
BECAUSE NOW IT'S TIME
FOR THE FUNNEST PART
OF PLAYING COURT.
RECESS!
[ALL CHEERING]
HI, PEE-WEE.
OH, I MEAN,
YOUR HONOR.
HAVE YOU MADE A DECISION YET?
MMM, WELL, NO,
NOT EXACTLY, MISS YVONNE.
GOOD!
BECAUSE I JUST WANT
TO SAY,
WHATEVER YOU DECIDE,
I'LL STILL BE YOUR FRIEND.
YOU WILL?
OH, YES.
I MAY BE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN PUPPETLAND,
BUT YOU'RE
THE HANDSOMEST MAN.
ME?
DEFINITELY.
ALSO, THE SWEETEST,
THE SMARTEST,
AND THE FUNNIEST, TOO.
HMM, YEAH.
AND THE BEST DRESSER!
YES, AND THE BEST DRESSER.
AND THE DREAMIEST.
YES, AND THE DREAMIEST.
AND THE MOST RAD!
YES.
YOO-HOO!
PEE-WEE!
THERE YOU ARE!
I'D LIKE TO HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU, YOUR HONOR.
- OKAY.
- EXCUSE US.
WHAT IS IT, MRS. RENE?
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW, I HAVEN'T
MADE MY DECISION YET.
THAT'S NOT IT, PEE-WEE.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MAKE
SUCH A DIFFICULT DECISION
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH
SO I BAKED YOU THIS.
CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER
AND JELLY CAKE!
MY FAVORITE!
AND THERE'S LOTS MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
HA HA.
THANKS, MRS. RENE.
WAIT A MINUTE...
YOU'RE TRYING
TO BRIBE ME!
YOU'RE BOTH TRYING
TO BRIBE ME!
WELL, IT WON'T WORK.
BECAUSE I'VE DECIDED TO CALL
MY SURPRISE WITNESS,
MONSIEUR ROBERT,
HA HA.
[BOTH]
MONSIEUR ROBERT!
BONJOUR!
- BONJOUR.
MONSIEUR ROBERT,
WOULD YOU PLEASE
TELL THESE
TWO LADIES AND ME
HOW COME YOU DESIGNED
TWO ONE-OF-A-KIND DRESSES
THAT ARE EXACTLY ALIKE?
BUT, PEE-WEE,
THEY ARE NOT ALIKE.
[BOTH]
THEY'RE NOT?
NOT AT ALL.
MRS. RENE'S DRESS HAS
THE LEMONS AND THE BOWS
ON THE LEFT SHOULDER
AND THE RIGHT HIP.
MISS YVONNE'S DRESS HAS
THE LEMONS AND THE BOWS
ON THE RIGHT SHOULDER
AND THE LEFT HIP.
THEY'RE AS DIFFERENT AS...
DOGS AND DINOSAURS.
THEY ARE DIFFERENT!
OF COURSE!
ANYONE CAN SEE
HOW DIFFERENT THEY ARE.
YEAH.
SURE.
HA HA.
ANYBODY COULD SEE IT.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY!
[GIGGLES]
MISS YVONNE,
I LOVE YOUR DRESS.
IT'S VERY DIFFERENT.
OH, THANK YOU.
AND YOUR DRESS IS VERY...
DIFFERENT, TOO, MRS. RENE!
WHY DON'T WE GO HAVE
SOME CHOCOLATE
PEANUT BUTTER
AND JELLY CAKE
AND GO COOL OFF
IN PEE-WEE'S POOL?
OH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!
I CAN'T WAIT TO TRY ON
MY BRAND-NEW SWIMSUIT.
[GASPS]
[LAUGHTER]
OH, THIS IS GONNA
BE SO FUN!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I KNOW HOW TO SWIM.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MERCI, MONSIEUR ROBERT.
YOU'RE WELCOME!
I THINK I'M GONNA RETIRE
FROM BEING A JUDGE.
HA HA.
[LEVER CRANKING]
[WIND WHOOSHING]
[POP]
THANKS FOR COMING BY TODAY,
EVERYONE.
AND REMEMBER,
Y'ALL COME BACK NOW, YA HEAR?
[ALL SCREAMING]
AAH!
[TIRES SCREECH]