1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:04,000
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.

2
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,760
'Gorgeous Joe. I want to crawl
inside your lovely pink mouth.'

3
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,400
Jez, I need to get to work.

4
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,040
Oh, yeah, of course. Me, too.
Busy, busy, busy.

5
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,880
'Storage Wars, Walnut Whip,
wank into a flannel.'

6
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,400
Like, who's the most famous
person you've life-coached?

7
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:36,440
I would probably have to say...
'Think of someone famous'

8
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,480
...the Queen. 'Interesting choice.'

9
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:42,520
The Queen? Yeah, it was either
the Queen or Jenson Button,

10
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,000
but in the end I'd probably have to
say the Queen.

11
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,840
You've life-coached the Queen?

12
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:52,300
It wasn't just me. A small cadre of life
coaches were airlifted into Highgrove.

13
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,240
What was she like? She is...

14
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,280
outlandish.

15
00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:00,320
She's funny, she's saucy, and she's
got the filthiest laugh.

16
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,320
Kind of...

17
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,560
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...

18
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,200
Wow. No offence, Jez,

19
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,960
I just thought your life-coaching
was maybe a part-time thing,

20
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,400
cos you do it out of your bedroom.

21
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,400
Oh, Joe.

22
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,680
I have an office, obvs.

23
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,320
Whereabouts? It's...

24
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:20,000
You know the office block on the
corner of, er, Cowper Street?

25
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,320
Yeah. 'Oh.' You do? Great.

26
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,280
Yeah, well, I have a place there.

27
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:27,320
I'll have to pay you a visit
sometime. Yep. You do that.

28
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,800
'This is just another small,
insignificant lie I'll have to maintain

29
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,960
'until the day I die.

30
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,440
'Mark still thinks I know
what the public sector is.'

31
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,480
'Right, I want to beat
Angus but fuck April.

32
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,120
'Freudian mixed doubles.'
Jeremy, can you hold your racket up?

33
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,920
Oh, this is just one thing
after a-bloody-nother.

34
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:48,720
Face forward, please, Jeremy.

35
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:52,760
Actually, I'm probably going to go.
You can't go. This is match point.

36
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,200
Ooh, are we going to win the match?
What if we lose the match?

37
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The match, the match, the match!

38
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,360
Can we just finish the game and do
this afterwards, please?

39
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,400
Fine. If it comes at me again,
I'm not hitting it.

40
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,440
Unlucky, Angus.
'Welcome to hell, old man!'

41
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,840
Shot, Mark!

42
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,800
Can I go now, cos I am only here
so you can fuck the historian,

43
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,560
and I really don't see that
happening.

44
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,600
It's Angus. They've made up
and now he's everywhere.

45
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,640
I invite her to the library,
he offers to give us a lift.

46
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,840
Tennis...he makes it doubles.

47
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,960
I mean, just look at him,
hogging his wife.

48
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,080
The big, brainy, wife-hogging
shit.

49
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:33,120
'Fuck tennis. It's basically
bullshit ping pong for giants.'

50
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:36,720
I'll bring the car round. OK.

51
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,760
'Now, Mark.

52
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,440
'Steal his wife
while he fetches the Vectra.'

53
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,480
So, April, there's a...there's a talk
on at the British Academy on Friday.

54
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:49,080
Andrew Roberts doing a jam
on World War I trench letters.

55
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,640
'Love amongst the mustard gas.'

56
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,000
There's literally only two
tickets left, sadly.

57
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,160
Cos I bought the last eight
and burned the other six.'

58
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,680
So I was wondering if you'd...
Oh, Mark, I'd love to, but...

59
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,360
It's kind of embarrassing,
but I'm going to have my moles mapped.

60
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,760
Oh? Yeah, I can get a little bit
jumpy...

61
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,600
mole-wise. Freckle on my kneecap...
"That wasn't there yesterday!"

62
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,640
Next thing I'm picking at it
with a craft knife,

63
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:16,680
trying to cauterise the wound with
one of those creme brulee torches.

64
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,960
'Oh, April and your charming
neuroses!'

65
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,080
I've been looking for a half-decent
mole-mapping place for ages.

66
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,600
By no means am I excessively
moley, it's not like I'm riddled.

67
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,320
I'd just like a full body
ordnance survey.

68
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,360
Well, that's amazing, cos not
everybody is up for, you know,

69
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,240
having their genitals
photographed.

70
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,240
No, I... I am. I'm bang up for that.

71
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,840
Well, be nice to have some
company. It's a date.

72
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,600
A weird, kind of creepy,
dermatological kind of date.

73
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,640
'They all count, April!
They all count.'

74
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,400
How are you feeling today?

75
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:50,800
Like a piece of shit.

76
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,880
Why is that, do you think?

77
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,640
Because you fucked my boyfriend and then
you stole my boyfriend. Interesting.

78
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,240
I fucking hate you, Jeremy.

79
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,280
You are unmanly. And you are
basically uninteresting.

80
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,080
And you hide behind this
mask of, like, slacker bullshit,

81
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,440
like the fact you've never
done anything with your life

82
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,800
is some kind of Gen X
lifestyle choice when really...

83
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,920
it's just because you're a small,
talentless worm.

84
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,920
'Hunker down, Jeremy,
into the brain bunker.'

85
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:20,960
And you don't deserve Joe, cos I've been
with him, and he fucks like a dinosaur.

86
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,228
You fuck like a little child.

87
00:04:22,308 --> 00:04:25,080
Like an eight-year-old that's just
been told off for sucking its thumb.

88
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,640
OK, that's all we've got time
for today. No, it isn't.

89
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,680
We've still got 48 minutes left.

90
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,040
Unless you don't want me to pay you
for the full session?

91
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,320
Let's just dive back in, shall we?

92
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,480
'Back into the cesspool.'

93
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,184
I'm going to make you cry, Jeremy.

94
00:04:37,264 --> 00:04:39,320
I'm going to make you
cry delicious tears,

95
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,320
and then I'm going to collect those
tears in a little silver bowl

96
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,800
and I'm going to drink them all up.

97
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:46,840
Yeah?

98
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,880
'Walnut Whip. Little cry.
Wank into a flannel.'

99
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,480
I got the slot immediately after
April!

100
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,080
We're going mole mapping!

101
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,280
God, that's romantic, Mark

102
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,120
What next? Take her up in a hot-air
balloon, get your anuses bleached?

103
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,520
It's a date, and no-one can prove
otherwise.

104
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,160
Mark, can I ask you something?
And I want you to be honest.

105
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,000
Am I a shit?

106
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,520
Absolutely you're a shit.

107
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,640
Milk's gone.

108
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,200
So I am? I'm a shit?

109
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,120
Oh, you're a shit, Jeremy.
You are the shit on my shoe.

110
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,960
I'm a total shit?

111
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,120
A giant, walking, talking,
anthropomorphised shit on stilts.

112
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,560
A shit for all seasons.

113
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,320
The shit man of Europe.

114
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,400
What a total, total shit!

115
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,920
Well, I've enjoyed this, Jeremy.

116
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,440
It's pepped me up, it really has.

117
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,991
I need to get my
act together, Mark.

118
00:05:29,071 --> 00:05:31,480
Yes, well, I may have mentioned
something about this, Jeremy.

119
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,480
I'm just a waster, floating through
life, jazzing into the flannel.

120
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,640
And Joe, he's like this great
guy, and cool job...

121
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,240
Sorry, you jazz into the flannel?

122
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:40,871
Oh, don't be so
fucking parochial, Mark.

123
00:05:40,951 --> 00:05:43,280
I'm laying it out there, the inner
churn, the workings of man,

124
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,800
and you're hung up on whose jizz
ends up on what bit of cloth.

125
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,520
Which flannel, Jeremy? I don't know!

126
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,880
I can't be expected to
remember where it all goes.

127
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:54,920
Right!

128
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,240
Which flannel have you jazzed on?

129
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,320
Answer the fucking question!

130
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,440
Jesus Christ, Jeremy!

131
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,720
That is beyond the...pale!

132
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,160
You know what, you're right,
I've gone too far this time, Mark.

133
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,360
Well, I am turning a corner.

134
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,800
I'm growing up and getting
an actual office

135
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:17,360
and I'm going to stop just flinging
my jizz around hither and yon.

136
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:21,400
How very reassuring Now,
excuse me while I boil-wash my face!

137
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,600
So, where's this gastro pub, then,
Hans?

138
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,000
Just up here. They've got a fruity.

139
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,720
I call it the Isa,
cos it's basically my pension plan.

140
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,960
Go in there twice a week
and bleed it like a radiator.

141
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,000
Mind you, I've got cramp in my hand from
hitting the £10 repeater so many times.

142
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,960
No, it's turned,
it's fucking turned on me.

143
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,360
Doesn't look very gastro, Hans.

144
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:50,400
There's a man over there
eating Quavers out of an ashtray.

145
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,280
Oi, oi, choirboy!
Fancy seeing you here.

146
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,320
Jez, this is Wadey, mate of mine
from Halfords days. All right?

147
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,024
Actually, Jez, it's
lucky you're here,

148
00:07:00,104 --> 00:07:02,480
cos young Mr Wade here has been
off working at a Center Parcs,

149
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,000
isn't that right, Wadey?
Yeah, that's right, Hans.

150
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,760
I've been working at a Center Parcs.

151
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,160
Yeah. But he's been made
redundant, sadly.

152
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,120
And I'm thinking maybe you could
have a little chat with him.

153
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,640
Oh, is this about your self-esteem?
Yeah?

154
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,680
Cos I always think self-esteem
is a lot like actual steam.

155
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,800
You can't see it, but it definitely
exists.

156
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,240
No, what I wanted to ask you was...

157
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,080
You know your mate Mark?

158
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,200
Can you get me his swipe card
for the bank?

159
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,000
What's that, sorry?

160
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,560
His swipe card that gets him in the
back of the bank. Can you get it for me?

161
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,360
Super Hans, quick natter? Mmm.

162
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:43,400
Wadey, just give us a minute,
will you? All right.

163
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,120
Is he a fucking bank robber?

164
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,240
Behave!

165
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,520
He's not a bank robber, Jeremy.

166
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,240
He's a burglar.

167
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,240
I'm joking! Lighten up!

168
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,920
I've been burned before, Hans.

169
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,640
Never trust the pub man.

170
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,560
Things between me and Molly,
they've gone a bit rancid.

171
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,520
You've just got back from your
honeymoon.

172
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,080
I know, mate, that's what's so
surprising.

173
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,480
It is one hot, toxic mess.

174
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,520
And...

175
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,897
well, I just need some bunce
for a bit of a love bombing

176
00:08:12,977 --> 00:08:13,920
- you know, sexy Dresden.

177
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,840
And if Wadey could just borrow Mark's
swipe card, we'd both be quids in.

178
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,440
I don't like it.

179
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,000
It smells of crime.

180
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,040
You'll be well compensated.
Money up front.

181
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,280
I'm talking five figures.
Five figures?

182
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:29,080
Well, there's a decimal place
after the first three figures.

183
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,360
So three figures?
Five figures total.

184
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,280
Three figures actual.

185
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,600
Look, he's harmless, Wadey.

186
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,120
Sorry, Hans, I'm out.

187
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,680
I'm getting my shit together.

188
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,320
Huh...

189
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,800
Yep. They all let you down
eventually.

190
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,880
Fruities, wives...

191
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,200
mates.

192
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,760
They all let you d...

193
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,200
Oh, hello.

194
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,240
Three golden eggs!
And I'm up the beanstalk.

195
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,080
So, what was your final tally?

196
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,800
What's the scores on the doors?

197
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,680
Including warts and skin tags?
Including warts and skin tags.

198
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,280
Drumroll...
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh...

199
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,320
41! I win.

200
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,960
'What do I win? Most physically
defective male?'

201
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,840
Can I ask you something? Sure.

202
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,120
Does Angus seem OK to you?

203
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,880
Well, I thought his service game seemed
a little off, but I didn't like to crow.

204
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,120
A few years back he became
totally obsessed with

205
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,520
writing a book about the Byzantine
Church, but for the general reader.

206
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:27,720
It had to be for the general reader.
He was really very insistent about that.

207
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:28,920
How interesting.

208
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,760
'Do I detect a mental defect?'

209
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,240
Next thing I know, he's gone
off to Turkey for five months.

210
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,600
Checked himself into a hostel
in Marmaris.

211
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,800
He cut these kind of tramlines
into his hair.

212
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,440
He'd written the Nicene Creed
all over his legs.

213
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,320
April, that's...that's awful.

214
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,680
'I smell it, the sweet stench
of weakness.'

215
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,840
Maybe he's going back to that. I don't
know, maybe I'm losing him again.

216
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,880
'All aboard the Coconut Express.
Next stop, Loony Town!'

217
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:56,080
Yeah. I need quite a lot of storage
space for my personal effects

218
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,720
when hiring an office.

219
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,600
Cos I've ordered a briefcase
off Amazon.

220
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,080
It's coming from Holland.

221
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,480
What's...?

222
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,520
Oh, my God, there's a socket
in the floor!

223
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,120
Unbelievable!

224
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,520
Um, do you monitor the things
I look at on the internet?

225
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,880
No. Great.

226
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,160
I love this office.

227
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,080
It's £400 per calendar month.

228
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,560
Four? 400?

229
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,400
Fuck my mouth!

230
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,440
This is nice, isn't it?

231
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,320
A goodly stroll.
'Invite him out for a walk,

232
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,680
'lure him into a Greek
Orthodox Church,

233
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,200
'precipitate an insanity spiral.

234
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,840
'My plan certainly has
become quite Byzantine!'

235
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,560
Mark, I understand you went
mole mapping with my wife?

236
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:40,200
Oh...yeah, we went for a little
checkup.

237
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,560
The old mole patrol.

238
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,560
I was wondering...
'Is this a walloping?'

239
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,640
...if you'd like to come
for a colonoscopy.

240
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,200
Right.

241
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,322
I've been putting it off
for months and I thought,

242
00:10:49,402 --> 00:10:51,240
"Seems like it might be
in Mark's wheelhouse."

243
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,080
You know, guys looking out for
each other? Yeah, no, sounds great.

244
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,920
We could go for a pint after. You know,
get the cancery bit out of the way

245
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,280
and then pop into the Whistle
for a pint of IPA.

246
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,360
'Rectal exams with the love rival?'

247
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,480
And thanks...

248
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,280
for taking April. She needed that.

249
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,720
She needs...an outlet.

250
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,400
Some nights she's like,
"Let's take drugs and go crazy."

251
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,360
And I'm thinking Herodotus
and a bowl of muesli.

252
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,760
It's just not me.

253
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,120
'Tell me your wife's secret desires.
They'll be safe with me!'

254
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,040
Say, that's an interesting church.

255
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,120
Is it Russian?

256
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,080
Yes, a Russian Orthodox Church.

257
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,200
How fascinating.

258
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,200
Er, I believe it's Greek, Mark.

259
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,240
OK, well, I propose a wager, good
sir. Loser buys the ploughman's?

260
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,280
'Oh, I'll buy you a ploughman's,
Angus,

261
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,320
'but it'll be the last ploughman's
you eat as a sane man.'

262
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,480
In terms of praxis, the difference
between Russian and Greek

263
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,200
just comes down to order of service.

264
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,680
'Put on the tap shoes,
quick dance on his grave.'

265
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,160
And is there a comprehensive history
of the Byzantine Church

266
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,040
you could recommend, you know,
for the general reader?

267
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,800
OK, I'm going to surprise you here,
Mark, and say no, there isn't,

268
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,440
unless you include John Julius Norwich's
so-called History Of Byzantium,

269
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,480
and I don't.

270
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,160
Right. Cos you've got Simon
Baker on Rome

271
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,400
and Karen Armstrong on the Western
Christian tradition,

272
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,800
but nothing on the Byzantine Church?

273
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,960
Doesn't that just seem insane?

274
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,240
It does seem a little nutty.

275
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,720
'This isn't horrible.
I'm just encouraging him.

276
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:16,320
'Follow your dream, Angus, all the
way into the big mind mincer.'

277
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,480
..and the only first-hand account
we have is, as you'll know,

278
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,080
Martin of Opava's
Chronicon Pontificum Et Imperatorum,

279
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,600
and, frankly, it's a pamphlet.

280
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,760
It's so limited in scope
as to be almost worthless.

281
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,960
'God, this really is interesting.

282
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,600
'No, don't get sucked in! Otherwise
it's going to be me and Angus

283
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:36,000
'sleeping in a Turkish hostel, reading
Scripture and getting rectal exams.'

284
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:37,660
'Cup of tea and a Twirl.

285
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:40,020
'Finally get a proper look
at my arse.

286
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,500
'Yep, there he is,
that's my arse all right.

287
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:44,940
'The dark side of the moon.'

288
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:46,300
So, Mark, I got your letter.

289
00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:48,820
That's not from me, Jeremy,
that's from the bank.

290
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:51,220
It's a standard loan statement.

291
00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:54,275
Do you have any idea of the monthly
repayments on that fucking thing?

292
00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:55,900
Yes, Jeremy. Yes, I do.

293
00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:58,900
So that's it? Office gone. There's
no way I can afford it any more.

294
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:01,380
All my hopes and dreams,
everything I've been working for

295
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,740
for the last 39 years
flushed down the toilet.

296
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:05,860
You've wanted this office
since yesterday.

297
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,140
You never should have sold me that
loan, Mark. You were exploiting me.

298
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:11,300
Well, guess what,
I've got one word for you.

299
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,700
Ombudsman.

300
00:13:12,740 --> 00:13:14,940
Ha! I'm going to the ombudsman.

301
00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:17,660
So if there's a bang at the
door and you answer it

302
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:21,700
and there's a man in a stovepipe hat
with a long, hooky stick, that's him.

303
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,460
The ombudsman.

304
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,380
The ombudsman isn't a person,
Jeremy.

305
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:28,500
It's a toothless regulatory body

306
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:32,540
made up of junior and often
very obliging civil servants.

307
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,060
One eye open, Mark.

308
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:38,100
♪ The ombudsman's coming
to get you... ♪

309
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:45,500
You know, Angus would have
been more than welcome to...

310
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:47,260
Yeah, he...didn't fancy it.

311
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,700
I caught him reading
the Nicene Creed on the toilet.

312
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:51,460
Oh, April...

313
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,740
you are joking?! 'Ting!'

314
00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:55,780
He said you went to
a Byzantine church?

315
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:57,220
Look, I...

316
00:13:57,260 --> 00:14:01,060
I didn't want to dob him in,
but we went for a stroll and...

317
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,780
It was like he couldn't help
himself.

318
00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:05,340
I mean, we went for
a ploughman's afterwards,

319
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:07,260
but the mood was pretty sombre.

320
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:10,860
'So I ate both his pickled onions!'

321
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:14,900
You know, April, it's at times like this
when I just want to throw my hands up

322
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:18,020
and say, "Let's take drugs
and go crazy."

323
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:21,460
Hm!

324
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:22,980
'Oh, God, help me.'

325
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:25,340
I haven't done this since uni.
Am I doing it right?

326
00:14:25,380 --> 00:14:27,740
Yeah, no, that's great.

327
00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:30,860
Some lovely fat lines of...chang.

328
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:33,221
Do you always have coke
lying around, you big druggie?

329
00:14:33,301 --> 00:14:34,820
It's leftovers from
Super Hans' stag.

330
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:38,860
But it's good shit, it's real
top-quality, Taste the Difference shit.

331
00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:42,660
Let the Great British Snort Off
begin.

332
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:45,340
'Eye of the tiger. Fuck you,
everyone. Fuck you, Dad.'

333
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,060
Ah... Mmm!

334
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:52,100
Delicious. As always.

335
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,300
Mein compliments to the chef.

336
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:57,420
'Christ, it's gone all the way up
my nose and into my throat!

337
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,660
'Doesn't taste very nice.
What if it's off?

338
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,740
'What if my head swells up like a
melon and I never sleep again?'

339
00:15:02,780 --> 00:15:04,980
I feel completely normal.
But also...

340
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:08,660
a bit like I want to karate-chop my hand
through a very high stack of poppadoms.

341
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,820
You could hold up a keema naan and I
could punch my fist through it.

342
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:13,220
Kung food!

343
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:19,060
'I have never been this
intensely funny.'

344
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,820
Angus would never do this.

345
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:23,500
Unless we'd talked about it
and tabled it with our therapist

346
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:26,060
and dissected it to death.

347
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,740
Oh, tedious. I mean, I don't even
want another line.

348
00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:32,780
The last thing I feel like
is another line.

349
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,620
'Well, that's it. I'm an addict.'

350
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:38,660
But that was actually probably
my favourite line of the two.

351
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,860
Cos I found this cruise, OK? Three
months in the Med, just what we need.

352
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,300
'God, she's trying to patch
things up with Angus.

353
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:45,420
'God, my teeth are dry!'

354
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:48,580
Cocktails, six meals a day,
bad karaoke.

355
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:49,940
He said no.

356
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:52,542
April, if I've said it once,
I've said it a thousand times.

357
00:15:52,622 --> 00:15:53,860
'First time I've ever said it.'

358
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:57,300
You've got to live in the moment,
cos right now I feel like

359
00:15:57,340 --> 00:16:00,460
staying up all night,
or running to Thornton Heath,

360
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,300
or throwing my iPad out the window.

361
00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:04,420
Go on, then. Yeah?

362
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:06,620
I mean, which? Cos I'll do it.

363
00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:08,860
iPad. Yeah, cos...it's just an iPad.

364
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,300
I mean, what is it, really?
Just some very thin microchips.

365
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:13,980
Go on. I'm going to do it.

366
00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:16,860
Don't you think I should do it? I'm
totally doing it. Should I do it?

367
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,940
You should totally do it.
I'm totally doing it.

368
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:22,980
'Regretting act of spontaneity before
I've completed act of spontaneity.'

369
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:25,380
Bye-bye!

370
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,420
Fuck you, iPad!

371
00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:29,620
I can't believe you just did that.
I know.

372
00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:32,420
You're like the Incredible
Hulk. The Incredible Mark.

373
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:35,300
Mark Smash!

374
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:36,780
'She thinks I'm funny.'

375
00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:40,020
Mark Smash!

376
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:48,020
'Oh, my God.'

377
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,380
I should get going.

378
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:52,540
But thank you for an amazing
evening.

379
00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:54,900
'I've kissed her.
I've kissed her on coke.

380
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:57,580
'If we take smack, maybe she'll get
divorced and marry me.'

381
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:01,220
I've got you the goods.

382
00:17:01,260 --> 00:17:03,340
Mark's swipe card. Yeah.

383
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:06,980
But on one condition.
Say pub man is a bank robber,

384
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:09,980
we tell him, no shooting of Mark.

385
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:11,900
And that is an absolute red line.

386
00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:14,940
'God, I'm a good friend. I've really
stuck my neck out for Mark there.'

387
00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:17,100
Look, hang on to it for now.

388
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:20,700
Let's just say young Mr Wade's
attempts not to rob Mark's bank

389
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,060
have taken a surprising
unexpected turn.

390
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,921
Like what? He's basically
doing it right now.

391
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:27,100
Hang on. But he's not actually
going to do it, though?

392
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,380
Well, it's hard to tell with Wadey.

393
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,620
Don't get me wrong,
he's a teddy bear.

394
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:33,060
But he's a violent teddy bear.

395
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:34,620
You said he was harmless.

396
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:36,940
Well, he's more than one thing,
Jeremy.

397
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:38,740
He's harmless, he's deadly.

398
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:40,140
He's a devil, he's a saint.

399
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:41,980
He's happy, he's furious.

400
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:45,020
He's got a multiple personality
disorder, basically.

401
00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:48,780
Shit! Right, text pub man,
tell him not to shoot Mark.

402
00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:49,860
I've got to warn him.

403
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,660
'What if he's already shot him?
What if he's wounded him?

404
00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:56,260
'God, imagine Mark in a wheelchair.
He'll be insufferable.'

405
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:59,980
'I need something new to throw out
the window before April loses interest.

406
00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:03,900
'Could bung my George Foreman
off the balcony.'

407
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:04,980
Oh, sorry, mate.

408
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:06,500
'Oh, it's grudge time with Jerry.

409
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:07,990
'When is he ever
going to forgive me

410
00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:10,540
for bundling him into a sleeping
bag and throwing him in a lift?'

411
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:11,900
Mark?

412
00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:15,020
Oh, Angus, er...hi.
I wasn't expecting...

413
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,596
So, I found a place that does

414
00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:19,060
something called an
air-contrast barium enema.

415
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,780
They basically pump air
into the rectum.

416
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:25,660
Apparently, you get an incredibly clear
silhouette of the whole downstairs area.

417
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:27,380
Sounds perfect.

418
00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:29,820
'Inflating my colon
like a weather balloon?!'

419
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,740
I'm not here to talk to you
about a colonoscopy, Mark.

420
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:34,380
I need a loan. 5K.

421
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:37,820
I think I'm losing April and...
she wants this cruise.

422
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:41,020
I don't know, I feel like if we go away
together, that might fix everything.

423
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:42,780
Sure. Sure it might.

424
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:45,380
Well, let me just enter your
details into the system.

425
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,660
'Look at me, I'm entering his
details into the system.

426
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:52,700
'Telephone, telephone, sunglasses,
smiley face, crucifix, and "enter."'

427
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:56,740
Oh, Angus, your credit rating
is, frankly, sub-Grecian.

428
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,940
Look, I have mortgage statements.
Mate, I'm...

429
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:02,100
I'm sorry. It's a no.

430
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,540
'Three-way spite-feast!

431
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:06,380
'No commission for me,
no cruise for April,

432
00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:08,100
'no marriage for Angus.

433
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,900
'And it tastes great.'

434
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,740
Mark, I need five, like,
quite intense minutes right now.

435
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:17,780
Hi, Angus.

436
00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:23,020
Just FYI sort of thing, there is
a very slim possibility that...

437
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:28,860
a bank robber is heading
into the bank right now.

438
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:32,900
So, you know, act normal, but also
be on permanent high alert.

439
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,020
Jeremy, what are you talking about?

440
00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:38,060
It's just some mate of Super Hans,
some pub man.

441
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,620
A pub man? I-I'm getting
robbed?

442
00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:44,260
No, it's all fine, because I told Hans
to tell him, "No shooting Mark."

443
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,660
What do you mean, no shooting?
I was going to get shot?

444
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:48,300
No. Because it was a red line.

445
00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:50,940
Oh, and no-one ever goes over a red
line, do they, Jeremy

446
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,660
Tuition fees was a fucking red line.

447
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,460
Look, it's just a caper gone bad.
He wanted your swipe card,

448
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,620
and then I...took it, but then
I didn't give it to him...

449
00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:01,500
You took it? Jesus Christ, Jeremy!

450
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:03,300
Come on, Mark, on your high horse.

451
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:05,900
It's a bank. They're insured.
It's a victimless crime.

452
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:09,020
No, Jeremy, it isn't. It's a victimy
crime, and the victim is me!

453
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,460
I'm going to get shot.

454
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:14,500
Oh, how many times, Mark?
You are not getting...

455
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,620
You are not getting shot. Why does
it always have to be about you?

456
00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:19,520
I'm sorry, Jeremy.

457
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,660
I'm sorry for being all self-pitying
about my potential shooting.

458
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:26,420
In a way, you do work in a bank.
What's that supposed to mean?

459
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:28,500
I mean, come on, you're
probably due one.

460
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:30,340
Oh, great. I'm due one, am I?

461
00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:34,380
I'm due a good shooting? It's my
turn for the big, shiny bullet?

462
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,740
Oh, shit.

463
00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:38,940
Is... Is that him?
Is that the robber?

464
00:20:38,980 --> 00:20:42,780
Shit, where's the panic button?

465
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,100
I can't find the panic button.

466
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,420
I'm panicking, and I can't find the
panic...

467
00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,860
Just fucking calm down, Mark,
for fuck's sake!

468
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:51,340
Why do they make these bloody things
so hard to find?

469
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:54,060
Will you stop panicking?
He's just some nutter.

470
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,860
Exactly. He's a nutter, Jeremy,

471
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:59,900
a nutter who may or may not have got
the memo re not shooting me.

472
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:04,020
He's queueing.

473
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,140
Why is he queueing?
Robbers don't queue.

474
00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:07,300
We need to leave.

475
00:21:07,340 --> 00:21:09,420
What if he shoots everyone?

476
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:13,300
He won't. And if he does, what are
we supposed to do? Stop him?

477
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,780
Yeah, that's what we'll do,
Mark. We'll stop him

478
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:17,860
We'll stop the armed maniac,
me and you.

479
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:21,380
'I'm not running away, I'm just walking
over here to reassess the situation.

480
00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:24,140
'All the way over here and out
of the back.' It's fine.

481
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:28,180
Everything's going to be fine.
No-one's getting shot.

482
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,082
Right, we need to move.

483
00:21:33,162 --> 00:21:35,340
He's quite obviously going
to shoot everyone. What?!

484
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:36,980
What am I doing?
I need to go back in!

485
00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:38,300
What about Angus?

486
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,140
He's a cadaver, Mark. He's toast.

487
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:44,180
Coffee shop. We'll wait in the
coffee shop until the shooting stops.

488
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,820
Macchiato and a blueberry
muffin, please.

489
00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:57,860
A muffin? You're going to stand here,
waiting for a massacre, eating a muffin?

490
00:21:58,260 --> 00:22:00,980
What difference does it make?
Unbelievable.

491
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:03,820
Er, flat white extra hot
and a biscotti.

492
00:22:03,860 --> 00:22:05,340
But this is on you.

493
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:07,460
I'm holding you fully accountable.

494
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,180
You know what... Soz.

495
00:22:09,220 --> 00:22:11,660
"Soz" is not an appropriate
level of apology

496
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,220
for facilitating an armed
fucking robbery.

497
00:22:14,260 --> 00:22:15,900
Joe?

498
00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:18,035
'Jez.' Hey. 'I'm at the offices
on Cowper Street.

499
00:22:18,115 --> 00:22:19,540
They don't seem
to know who you are.'

500
00:22:19,580 --> 00:22:22,020
Oh, er...sorry, I can't really
hear you.

501
00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:23,780
I'm just at Highgrove.

502
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:27,820
In fact, Joe, there's a very
distinguished older gentleman

503
00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:31,540
who'd really like to have a word
with you right now.

504
00:22:31,580 --> 00:22:33,700
What?

505
00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:36,780
Do a Prince Philip and I'll go and
tackle the robber, or whatever.

506
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:40,460
Oh, Christ.

507
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:43,700
No, I'm not doing a fucking
Prince Philip.

508
00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:47,700
Er, sorry about that, Joe.
He's famously flighty.

509
00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:50,340
'You're not really at Highgrove,
are you, Jeremy?'

510
00:22:50,380 --> 00:22:52,220
Er, no.

511
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:53,540
I'm actually at Balmoral.

512
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:57,420
Hello? Hello?

513
00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:58,460
He's gone.

514
00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:01,540
It's happening, then. Joe's starting
to see through me.

515
00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:03,900
Really, Jeremy? Tell me more,
cos I'm so invested

516
00:23:03,940 --> 00:23:06,420
in your domestic horseshit
right now.

517
00:23:06,460 --> 00:23:09,100
Mark? What the hell are you
doing over here?

518
00:23:09,140 --> 00:23:11,820
Oh, hi, Alan,
I'm just on a quick coffee run.

519
00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:13,300
Oh, really?

520
00:23:13,340 --> 00:23:15,380
Hanging out with your little buddy?
Hm?

521
00:23:15,420 --> 00:23:18,820
Playing conkers with your little chum?
Get back to work. What about my coffee?

522
00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:20,220
I'll bring it. Exit...

523
00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:24,260
Mark.

524
00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:27,220
Jeremy, are you coming?

525
00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:28,340
Sorry, mate.

526
00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:29,900
Right.

527
00:23:29,940 --> 00:23:31,740
Off I go.

528
00:23:31,780 --> 00:23:33,900
On my own.

529
00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:37,940
Off on my merry way.

530
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:41,900
'No-one seems dead.
It's a promising start.

531
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:43,940
'Oh, God, here he goes.

532
00:23:43,980 --> 00:23:46,140
'Oh, he's bottled it.

533
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:47,740
'He's just a big, beardy pen thief.

534
00:23:47,780 --> 00:23:50,340
Mark, it's going through.
Your mate sorted it.

535
00:23:50,380 --> 00:23:52,740
We're going cruising!

536
00:23:52,780 --> 00:23:55,100
Brilliant, Angus.
I-I'm happy for you.

537
00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:56,260
Thanks, Jerry.

538
00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:59,620
Oh, not a problem, Mark. I'd happily
steal your sales all day long.

539
00:24:02,380 --> 00:24:05,340
'Commission for Jerry, cruise
for April, marriage for Angus.

540
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:09,380
'Get the pub man back.
I want my shooting!'