1 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,909 Yeah? If you'd watch where you were going... 2 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,341 ...you wouldn't fall down. 3 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,307 Sheesh. 4 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:58,110 Give somebody a white cane, they think they own the sidewalk. 5 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:02,412 Hi, Mr. Twinkacetti. The handicapped harassing you again? 6 00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:07,490 Boy, Chicago is a big place. 7 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,891 If I walked as far on my little island of Mypos as I just walked... 8 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:14,295 ...I'd be drowning in the ocean right now. 9 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,294 I'm so lucky to be here. 10 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:21,262 You're so lucky the Statue of Liberty didn't wave you away. 11 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:22,669 Where have you been? 12 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,743 Well, this nice little lady bought a televisión set. 13 00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:28,403 And she said to me, "Would you take this to my house?" 14 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:31,778 And I said, "Of course," because it's only 93 blocks. 15 00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,316 And... 16 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,148 And so, when we got there, I had to hook up the antenna... 17 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,550 ...which was on the roof. 18 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:42,161 And I got up on the roof, and it was covered with pigeons. 19 00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:47,294 And they were coming toward me because they want to peck me. 20 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:55,640 And then they come and sit on my neck, and I don't like that. 21 00:02:56,476 --> 00:03:02,073 And then the old lady had to come up and drag me off the roof like Tippi Hedren. 22 00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:05,345 But the TV works like a charm. 23 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:08,283 What, uh? 24 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:10,217 What TV did she buy? 25 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,825 Oh, not one from here. 26 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:21,729 It's obvious in his country, cousins can marry. 27 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,400 Balki, that little old lady took advantage of you. 28 00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:32,944 Every panhandler on the block knows you by your first name: Sucker. 29 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,847 You gotta stop being so nice. 30 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,043 Okay, you're right. 31 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,618 I'll never be nice again. 32 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,182 Let me get that for you. 33 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,380 I'll get it. 34 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:46,490 Ritz Discount. 35 00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:48,559 Oh, hi, Gus. 36 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,423 You're kidding. 37 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,730 Gus, this means a lot to me. Thanks. 38 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,262 Cousin Larry, you were nice to that person on the phone. 39 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:59,200 I hope he didn't take advantage of you. 40 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:00,767 I finally got a break. 41 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,602 I got a tip from a friend who works at the Wycliffe Hotel. 42 00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,801 Dolly Parton is staying in town secretly. 43 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,038 Dolly Parton. I love her. 44 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:18,189 Balki, sit this one out. 45 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,885 If I can get a picture of her before anyone knows she's in town... 46 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:26,464 ...it'll show the newspaper editors I've got what it takes to be a crack photojournalist. 47 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:30,330 Cousin Larry, you know, someday, I'm going to look at you and say: 48 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:35,736 "That's my cousin, Larry Appleton, the best photographer in the worid." 49 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,500 And do you know why? 50 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:40,669 Because you're cracked. 51 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,982 Thanks. 52 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,088 Are you crazy? 53 00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:58,287 Door three. - Door number two. 54 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,900 The car is behind door number two. 55 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,936 Uh. Unbelievable. 56 00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:07,163 Cousin Larry, did you get the picture? 57 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,503 I got to the hotel just as her cab was pulling away. 58 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,168 I jumped into another cab and said, "Follow that car." 59 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:16,076 And in case you're wondering, they don't do that. 60 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,046 You've had a busy day. 61 00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:20,947 I gotta get this picture. 62 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,520 I found out why she's staying under an assumed name. 63 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,352 She checked into a room with a man who is not her husband. 64 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,084 This is a sure sale. 65 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,996 If he's not her husband, what's he doing in her room? 66 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,201 Balki, she's having an affair. 67 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,975 Dolly Parton wouldn't do that. 68 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,413 Maybe it's her brother. 69 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,079 Yeah. 70 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:56,779 Well, there are newspapers who'll buy a picture of them, whoever he is. 71 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,117 What if they don't want their picture taken? 72 00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,783 They don't. That's what makes newspapers wanna buy it. 73 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,429 Well, don't you think you're stepping on her privacy? 74 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:10,035 Look, Balki, in America, a famous person gives up their right to privacy. 75 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,398 And if I'm gonna make it as a photojournalist... 76 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,767 ...it's gonna take a lot of talent and luck. 77 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:18,035 I've got the talent, and Dolly Parton is my luck. 78 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,975 You want to get lucky with Dolly Parton? 79 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:25,244 Well, uh, that's another conversation altogether. 80 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,978 What I'm saying is that people have a right to know... 81 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:31,612 ...about every aspect of a public figure's life. 82 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:35,056 Taking a picture of Dolly Parton is photojournalism? 83 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,363 Well, it's the photo part. 84 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,761 The journalism will have to come later. 85 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:45,898 How you did that? 86 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:52,009 It's a pop-top can. Haven't you ever seen one of these before? 87 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:56,946 Of course I have. Don't be ridiculous. 88 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,715 I did it. 89 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,957 Now how do I close that? 90 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,503 Oh, hi, Linda, I forgot you were coming. 91 00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:23,039 Oh, well, I hope you're still gonna be able to look after Gorbachev. 92 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:25,905 You're the only one he doesn't try to kill. 93 00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:27,511 Well, I'm flattered. 94 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,880 Now, remember, he likes to be walked at 10:00. 95 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:34,645 If you wait too long, it'll be an experience you'll never forget. 96 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:38,490 Ten it is. Maybe 9:30. 97 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,685 Well, thanks a lot. Hope I can return the favor somehow. 98 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,591 Well, I'm sure we can think of something. 99 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:47,255 My flight gets back Tuesday. - Yeah, okay. 100 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,333 Bye. - Bye-bye. 101 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,873 Great, just what I need. I'm babysitting for the Hound of the Baskervilles. 102 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,306 Come on, Gorbachev. If you're good, we'll feed you a mailman. 103 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,571 Yeah, good boy. Yeah, good boy. 104 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:01,838 Okay, stay off the bed. 105 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,510 Yeah, all right. 106 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,345 Stretch out. 107 00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:11,087 Let me ask you something. 108 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:14,192 Linda just gave you a big dog to take care of. 109 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,260 Isn't she taking advantage of you? 110 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,397 Well, there's a difference. 111 00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,623 See, I'm letting her take advantage of me... 112 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:25,362 ...in the hope that it will help bond our relationship. 113 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,396 You want to bond with her? 114 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:32,002 Well, she is a stewardess. 115 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,574 Whoo. - Whoo. 116 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:39,141 Oh. - Oh. 117 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:45,717 What are we talking about? 118 00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,691 I'll explain it some other time, huh? 119 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,533 I thought you were going to your citizenship class. 120 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:01,195 Well, I'll make it up on Saturday. I'm sewing Mr. Twinkacetti's pants. 121 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,966 You're sewing Twinkacetti's pants? 122 00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:05,872 Sure. You want me to sew something for you? 123 00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:09,314 There you go, letting people take advantage of you. 124 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,974 You've got to learn to say no. - I can't say no. 125 00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:16,714 Balki, would you shine my shoes? 126 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,380 Sure. - There, see? You did it again. 127 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,720 You've gotta stand up for yourself. 128 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,589 Sit down. 129 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:27,426 Just say no. - No. I'm sorry. 130 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,330 No. No, don't say you're sorry. It takes the edge off. 131 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,027 Now, come on, try it again. 132 00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,662 Balki, would you please shine my shoes? 133 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:42,977 It would help if you didn't say "please." 134 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,049 Say it. - No. 135 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:46,741 Good. 136 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:52,988 No, I won't shine your shoes. - Good, keep it going. 137 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:57,027 I would not shine your shoes if my life depend on it. 138 00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:00,388 Would you get me the mustard? - Oh, sure. 139 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,929 You tried to trick Balki. 140 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:10,041 No shoes, no mustard. 141 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,303 Good, huh? - Very good, I'm very proud of you. 142 00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:16,676 And you'll never do this again. - Never again. 143 00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,159 I'll get it. 144 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,021 You bet you will, buddy. 145 00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,593 This is fun. 146 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,335 Hello? 147 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,072 They did? When did they leave? 148 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:46,871 You're the greatest, Gus. Thanks. 149 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,910 Balki, Dolly Parton just went for a walk with the guy she's with. 150 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,415 I gotta hurry if I wanna catch them. Do me a favor. 151 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,747 Take Gorbachev for a walk at 10, okay? 152 00:11:00,726 --> 00:11:01,715 Balki? 153 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,396 You want me to walk the dog? - Yes. 154 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:08,328 Don't be ridiculous. 155 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:12,198 No, no. Now, Balki, Balki. Now, I am desperate, I am in need. 156 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,566 Aren't we all? - What? No, no. 157 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:18,107 Balki, this is not a test. I repeat, this is not a test. 158 00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:19,869 I am begging you. 159 00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:24,108 No way. Uh-uh. 160 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:30,250 I'm going to my citizenship class. - Balki, you can't do this to me. 161 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:33,688 Who do you think you're talking to? Somebody nice? 162 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,486 Ha! 163 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,431 Come here, Susan. 164 00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:53,645 Look this. Hello, Cousin Larry. 165 00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:56,774 Hello, Susan. - Hi. 166 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,150 Larry, why aren't you talking to Balki? 167 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,084 I only talk to my friends. 168 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,685 All I know is last night, he taught me how to say no... 169 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,955 ...until I was very good at saying no. 170 00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:14,463 And then I said "no," and he got mad. 171 00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:17,796 That's not quite what happened. 172 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:21,569 I had the chance to get an exclusive photograph of a famous person. 173 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,005 It was the most important opportunity of my life. 174 00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:26,667 And all he had to do was take Gorbachev for a walk. 175 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,713 But no. 176 00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:32,817 Gorbachev? - A dog the size of a Buick. 177 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,014 The point... 178 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:40,051 The point is, I had to take the beast with me. 179 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:43,457 When I got close enough to take the picture, she saw me and took off. 180 00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:46,723 Gorbachev took off after her, dragging me behind like a rag doll. 181 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:49,163 I tore my clothes. I sprained my ankle. 182 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,098 I would've been dragged to my death... 183 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:54,967 ...if Gorbachev hadn't met a stray poodle who was coming off a bad relationship. 184 00:12:55,908 --> 00:13:01,642 All because of this person, who I am not talking to. 185 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,000 Did you like Mypos food? 186 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,840 Cousin Larry, I don't know what you want. 187 00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:36,279 I cook all day for you and still you're not talking to me. 188 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,206 You told me to say no. 189 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,018 I'll make an exception just to say this. 190 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,451 I don't wanna talk about it. 191 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:52,029 You know, now you're making Balki mad. 192 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,462 You know, I can pout too. 193 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,624 Pouting was invented on Mypos. 194 00:13:56,802 --> 00:14:01,398 You haven't seen pouting until you've seen the Mypos Kiss of Silence. 195 00:14:03,742 --> 00:14:07,838 Okay, wise eyes, you're asking for it. 196 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:12,951 I now put on you the Mypos Kiss of Silence. 197 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:26,087 Don't you ever, ever do that again. 198 00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:33,729 Hello. 199 00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:35,763 Hello, Gus. 200 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:39,240 No, he's in the bathroom, not talking. 201 00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:40,673 What? 202 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,973 What is that about Dolly Parton? 203 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,582 Oh, my cousin, Larry, would love to hear that. 204 00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:47,412 Dolly Parton. Bye. 205 00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,717 Who was that? Was that Gus? 206 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:54,451 Did he say something about Dolly Parton? Did he say she was going out? 207 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,975 Well, what do you think, huh? 208 00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:16,137 I'm not smart enough to call the hotel and find out what he said? 209 00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,408 You're not dealing with a dimwit here. 210 00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:24,781 Gus went on his break. 211 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:40,063 Balki, I'd like to apologize. 212 00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:43,333 I was wrong, I'm sorry I pouted. There. 213 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,467 Now tell me what he said. 214 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,812 Balki, I apologized. 215 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,408 You didn't mean it. 216 00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:58,648 Of course, of course I meant it, Balki, cousin, friend. 217 00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:02,591 You know, on Mypos, we have a way of showing an apology is real. 218 00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,285 Tell me. I'll do it. 219 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,930 Well, first you pluck a chicken. 220 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,531 Balki. 221 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,227 Okay, we skip the chicken. 222 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:14,499 The important part is the groveling. 223 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,472 I can grovel. 224 00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:23,882 The sorry person says, "I am dirt. 225 00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:27,109 I am the sweat of a pig. 226 00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,720 I am sorry forever." 227 00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:37,225 But it better be convincing. 228 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,497 I am dirt. 229 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,999 I am... 230 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:47,002 What? What? What? What? 231 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:50,601 It's not groveling unless your head is lower than mine. 232 00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,646 I am dirt. 233 00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:58,282 I am... 234 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,426 I am dirt. 235 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,255 I am... 236 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:13,694 The sweat of a pig. - The sweat of a pig. I've got it, I've got it. 237 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,664 I am sorry forever. 238 00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:18,962 There, is that good enough? 239 00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:23,767 It's just not the same without the chicken. 240 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,144 Balki, Balki, please. 241 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:30,304 Oh, I forgive you. 242 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,712 Now we're happy because we're friends again. 243 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,944 So we have to do the Dance of Joy. 244 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,544 All right, good. 245 00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:40,985 Now, tell me what Gus said about Dolly Parton. 246 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,889 She's on the plane to Nashville. - No. 247 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,495 Just kidding. 248 00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:49,897 Cousins should joke more. - Yes, yes, they should. 249 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,727 Now tell me what he said. 250 00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:57,841 She's in the lounge, with the man that I'm sure is her brother. 251 00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,341 The lounge. 252 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,035 Can I come with you? - Okay, okay. 253 00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,613 Just don't do anything that will attract attention to us. 254 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,773 I wanna get close enough to get the picture. 255 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:07,475 You won't know I'm there. - Great. 256 00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,348 Can I say, "Watch the birdie"? - No. 257 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,216 Why can't I say, "Watch the birdie"? 258 00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,662 It's so dark in here. 259 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,533 You can't even see your own nose in front of your face. 260 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,305 There she is. 261 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,748 Oh, no, he's leaving. I've gotta get a picture of them together. 262 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,440 Don't you see what's happened? 263 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,781 She's just told him that they can't go on like this. 264 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,413 She's going back to her husband because she's a good person. 265 00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:51,291 And now no one will ever know that they came here together. 266 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:57,295 Until you take a picture of them, and then her life is ruined. 267 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,906 What are you doing? - I can't let you take advantage of her. 268 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:08,103 I don't think it's right just because she has a public figure. 269 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:10,972 Balki, give me my camera. - No. 270 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:13,909 Good, huh? 271 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,646 Let's be adult about this. Give me my camera. 272 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,051 No, no, no. 273 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:22,022 Stop. Stop. Don't. Don't... 274 00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:24,185 Would you stop? 275 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:30,000 Look, there, see? He's come back. She's not going back to her husband. 276 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,660 They are going to Mexico to live in sin. 277 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,068 Now, give me my camera. 278 00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:50,244 Balki, get out of my way. - No. 279 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,651 I can't let you invade her privacy. 280 00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:55,417 Run, Dolly, run. 281 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:01,263 That's him. That's the man that's been following me. 282 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,094 Somebody call the police. 283 00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:07,329 You're not Dolly Parton. - She's not? But I was told... 284 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:08,939 You're not Dolly Parton. 285 00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:12,238 Why you been following us all over town? 286 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,402 You scared my wife half to death. - I did? 287 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,810 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone. 288 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:21,146 I just wanted to get a picture of a famous person committing adultery. 289 00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:25,918 I am dirt. 290 00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:29,288 I am the sweat of a pig. 291 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:32,328 I am sorry forever. 292 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:42,138 Why couldn't I see what I was doing? 293 00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:45,834 Well, because it was very dark at that hotel. 294 00:20:48,146 --> 00:20:50,944 I was willing to destroy a person's reputation... 295 00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:54,176 ...by selling a picture to a sleazy newspaper... 296 00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,321 ...just to get my career started. 297 00:20:56,488 --> 00:21:00,515 Well, I tried to tell you that, but you wouldn't listen. 298 00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:04,918 You tried to tell me that, but I wouldn't listen. 299 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:15,272 I have no integrity. - Of course you do. 300 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,169 You're full of it. 301 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,606 What is integrity? 302 00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:25,279 Refusing to sell out to get where you wanna go. 303 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:28,817 If I wanted to be a photojournalist with integrity... 304 00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:32,013 ...what made me think I could start out this way? 305 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:36,794 Cousin Larry, when a person learns something about himself... 306 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,157 ...that makes a better person. 307 00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:41,663 I learned I was a sleaze. 308 00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:45,464 But you can build on that. 309 00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:51,401 In my country... 310 00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:55,239 ...when somebody learns something about himself that is not good... 311 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:57,905 ...then he changes that. 312 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,445 That means he has what you call integrity. 313 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:04,311 You should be proud of yourself. 314 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:07,219 I'm proud of you. - Yeah? 315 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,458 Well, that makes me feel better. 316 00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:13,225 A little better. 317 00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:17,858 Do me a favor. Lock up before you go to bed, okay? 318 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:27,135 Now, cousin, it would make me happy to do something for you... 319 00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:28,643 ...because you are my friend. 320 00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:30,805 But if I do that for you... 321 00:22:30,982 --> 00:22:33,075 ...are you taking advantage of me? 322 00:22:33,251 --> 00:22:34,309 No. 323 00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:39,656 What I meant about that was if you wanna help people, you should. 324 00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:42,851 But you shouldn't do it because you feel you have to. 325 00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:45,789 Oh. 326 00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:47,795 I understand. 327 00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:50,491 What a wonderful day we've had. 328 00:22:50,669 --> 00:22:54,002 You have learned something, and I have learned something. 329 00:22:54,172 --> 00:22:55,935 Too bad we didn't learn it sooner. 330 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,372 We could have gone to the movies instead. 331 00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:05,712 Cousin Larry? - What? 332 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:07,813 Good night. 333 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,521 Good night, Balki.