1
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,965
-Hi, Larry.
-oh, hi, Susan.

2
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,036
The mailman put this in my box
by mistake.

3
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,934
Another letter from Ed McMahon.

4
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,567
l feel bad
about not getting back to him.

5
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,537
-Susan.
-Hi, Balki.

6
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,177
Let me bathe in your beauty.

7
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:02,913
All right, up. Bath time is over.

8
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,620
You'll have to forgive Balki.

9
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,021
The only redhead in his homeland
was a tree squirrel.

10
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,421
[SUSAN CHUCKLES]

11
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:12,190
Susan, let me shine your shoes
with my heart.

12
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,625
He is so cute.

13
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,604
Balki, save something
for your honeymoon.

14
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:21,835
-l'm going.
-Yeah.

15
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,737
-See you.
-Bye-bye, Susan.

16
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,140
Goodbye, love goddess.

17
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:29,073
Balki, you have to stop
doing that to Susan.

18
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:33,310
-You don't do that to other women.
-l don't know any other women.

19
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,181
Maybe you should go out
and meet some.

20
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:38,381
Easy for you, you're a happening guy.

21
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,359
Well, true.

22
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:44,520
But anybody can do it.
l mean, you see a woman, you smile.

23
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:47,996
Pay her a compliment, ask her her name.
lt's easy.

24
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,295
Can somebody help me, please?

25
00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,874
[MoUTHlNG]
<i>Up, up</i>

26
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:06,251
-Can l help you?
-Yeah.

27
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,512
-Do you have any sweatshirts?
-Right over there.

28
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:12,180
-Ah, fantastic.
-Yes, and speaking of fantastic...

29
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:16,385
...you have perfect bone structure
for having babies.

30
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,659
-What your name is?
-Uh....

31
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,598
oh, l see.
lt's written on the back of your pants.

32
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,966
''Levi Strauss.''

33
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:30,672
Hello, Levi. My name is Balki.

34
00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:33,175
Hey, where do you get off anyway?

35
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:37,043
Well, l got off in New York,
but then l took the bus to Chicago.

36
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,945
lt's my kind of town, Chicago is.

37
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:48,183
Levi, after work,
do you want to have a happy hour with me?

38
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,522
Excuse me, he means no harm.

39
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:55,327
He's from another country.
And he has a head injury.

40
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,667
Don't you give me that face.

41
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:07,112
l did just what you told me.
lt didn't work.

42
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,546
Balki, that's not how you meet women.
That's how muggers meet women.

43
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:15,120
Gentlemen, front and center.
l'm going to the track.

44
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:20,658
lf l pick any losers, l'll think of you.
Move it. Move it. Get away from my money.

45
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:24,125
Mr. Twinkacetti, how do you get dates?

46
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,322
Well, that's easy.

47
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:30,265
You see a woman, you offer her 50 bucks,
not a penny more.

48
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,866
l don't think that's the kind of date
he's talking about.

49
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,167
Well, bite my tongue.

50
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:40,244
Does that mean l don't get to play
St. Francis in the school play?

51
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,814
Balki, you gotta go to a place
where single women hang out.

52
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:51,423
-Maybe you should just go to a singles bar.
-oh, a singles bar. l have seen that on Tv.

53
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:55,823
''Give me a light. Go for the gusto.''

54
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,526
''Here's to good friends.''

55
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:01,929
Will you come with me, Cousin Larry?
Tonight is kind of special.

56
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:09,234
No. Balki, a single's bar is not
my first choice of places to meet women.

57
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:12,310
l prefer more formal situations,
you know, uh...

58
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:17,074
...weddings, tax audit,
Heimlich Maneuver.

59
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:20,444
Please, cousin.

60
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:23,355
No, l just don't like
those kinds of places.

61
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:26,287
Please, you have to go with me.
You're the love expert.

62
00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:28,654
l don't think so.

63
00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:32,791
oh, Bobo....

64
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,392
l see.

65
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:38,401
You're afraid if l learn the secrets
of your power, l'll misuse it.

66
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,637
Yes, that's it.

67
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,076
[UP-TEMPo MUSlC PLAYlNG]

68
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:05,459
So this is one of your
American mating places.

69
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:07,326
Meeting. A meeting place.

70
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:12,838
People meet each other here.
They mate somewhere else.

71
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,032
So many beautiful women.

72
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:20,373
Yes, and you'll notice that none of them
have men wrapped around their ankles.

73
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,937
[MUSlC SToPS & PEoPLE CLAPPlNG]

74
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,913
You know, you're right.

75
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,814
You really know your stuff, Cousin Larry.

76
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:31,684
Well, l think l'll pick out my woman now.

77
00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:34,754
This is not a cafeteria.

78
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:39,254
Go slow. Take it easy. Be cool.

79
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,099
l know how to be cool.

80
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:51,006
Hey, mama.
You be getting down with your bad self.

81
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:54,278
What are you doing?

82
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:59,980
Everyone is looking at us.
l don't like that.

83
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:04,448
All right, let's get this over with
so l can go home.

84
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:08,551
Now, the first thing
is what we call eye contact.

85
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,923
Eye contact. Like the Three Stooges?

86
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,394
[HUMMlNG]

87
00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:19,066
-All right, l'm gone. l'm out of here.
-No, no, cousin, cousin.

88
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:21,001
okay, okay.

89
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:24,803
Look, for safety's sake,
we had better define eye contact.

90
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:28,913
You look-- You look, into a woman's eyes
from across the room.

91
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:31,777
And if she looks back, you know,
you kind of hold the look.

92
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,942
That's eye contact.

93
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,415
Like that woman is looking at you?

94
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:40,584
What woman?

95
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:46,554
Don't point.

96
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:01,544
She must be looking at someone else.

97
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,638
[LARRY CLEARS THRo AT]

98
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,547
After you've made eye contact...

99
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,718
...you work your way over to the woman
and you use your opening line.

100
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,461
Something like,
''Do you come here often?''

101
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:17,118
''Can l buy you a drink?''

102
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:21,062
''Didn't we meet in the oval office?''
Things like that.

103
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,599
-Can l try it?
-oh, oh....

104
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,395
okay.

105
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,719
l have made eye contact.

106
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:45,255
-oh, boy.
-Can l try my opening line?

107
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:49,986
All right, go ahead.
Just don't tell her you know me.

108
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:57,927
Hello.

109
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:02,272
-Do you come here often?
-No.

110
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:07,241
Would you smother me
with your beautiful American body?

111
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,273
Excuse us.

112
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,085
You were one step away from throwing
yourself at that woman's feet, weren't you?

113
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,823
-old habits die hard.
-oh....

114
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:26,627
Why don't you show me, Cousin Larry?
You're the expert.

115
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,165
Look-- Look, l just don't like
these places.

116
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:35,331
And besides, l'm more of a kind of
a talking expert than a, uh.... Uh....

117
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,976
l really don't wanna meet anyone.

118
00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:43,643
-That woman is still looking at you.
-She is?

119
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,519
Yes, she is.

120
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:55,352
-oh, my God, she is.
-Go ahead and get her, you love devil.

121
00:09:56,228 --> 00:10:00,892
All right. But this is a little faster
than l usually like to operate.

122
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,467
l'm only doing this for you.

123
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:22,749
-So--
-Hey, pal, that's my girlfriend.

124
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,356
Balki, Balki.

125
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,493
Balki, Balki.

126
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:34,728
[SlNGlNG GARY PUCKETT'S ''YoUNG GlRL'']

127
00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:45,143
Cousin Larry, l'm so happy.

128
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,041
l met one fox-like American woman.

129
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,239
[LARRY GRo ANlNG]

130
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:53,077
Sounds like you had fun too.

131
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,652
Hey, you disappeared pretty fast.

132
00:10:56,822 --> 00:11:00,087
Did you get lucky?

133
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:04,491
Yeah, l got lucky.

134
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,455
l'm lucky l wasn't killed.

135
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,602
That's nice.

136
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:15,107
Big news. l'm going on my first
American date tomorrow night.

137
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,970
-Aren't you happy for me?
-Yeah, why not?

138
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:21,238
While you were inside meeting
your fox-like American chick...

139
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,006
...l was out in the parking lot...

140
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:26,049
...learning that the human body
can bounce off of concrete.

141
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,383
l have so much to learn.

142
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,153
Reams.

143
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:42,794
Well, you can show me tomorrow night,
because you're coming with me on my date.

144
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:45,960
We'll double the pleasure,
double the fun.

145
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,370
[CHUCKLlNG]

146
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:54,874
Let me try to make something
absolutely crystal clear for you.

147
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:59,306
l would rather spend the evening
with Jabba the Hutt.

148
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:03,221
Well, call him up. We'll all party.

149
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,220
[SlNGlNG GARY PUCKETT'S ''YoUNG GlRL'']

150
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,635
Will you stop it?

151
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,009
l'm sorry.
l'm just nervous about my date.

152
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,946
-She'll love you. l guarantee it.
-Well, maybe you're right.

153
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,115
My underarms are safe,
my scalp is not flaky...

154
00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:42,920
...and my breath is lemon fresh.

155
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:46,693
Well, other than gargling with Pledge,
l think you're off to a good start.

156
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,299
[KNoCKlNG oN DooR]

157
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,993
-Hi, guys.
LARRY: oh, hi, Susan.

158
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:55,334
-So, Balki, ready for your big date?
-Well, let me see.

159
00:12:55,508 --> 00:13:00,036
l open the door for her, l pull out the chair,
l don't speak with my mouth full...

160
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:03,739
...and l don't touch her body
unless l am asked.

161
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,479
Larry.

162
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,183
Well, these are questions that came up.

163
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,159
Please, Cousin Larry,
please come with me.

164
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:16,919
-No.
-Please.

165
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:20,497
lt's a jungle out there,
and l don't know how to swing.

166
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:26,537
Now, don't worry. l believe in you.

167
00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:30,300
She is going to love you.

168
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,242
You have got the right stuff.

169
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,647
He is doomed.

170
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:43,251
-Larry, why don't you go with him?
-oh. oh, no, no, no.

171
00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,117
You're thinking,
''Balki's my friend.

172
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,350
My roommate.
A stranger from another country.

173
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:50,188
He looks up to me.
How can l cast him aside?''

174
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,262
Like this:

175
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,057
-Larry--
-Nice try.

176
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,896
Nice try, Susan, but it won't work.

177
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,197
l don't like to be embarrassed.

178
00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:03,205
l have spent my whole life
avoiding embarrassing situations.

179
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:04,637
Who knows when it started?

180
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:08,371
Maybe when l was born nude
in front of all those strangers.

181
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:12,973
Larry, l don't see how going on a date
with a friend can be embarrassing.

182
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,018
We are talking about Balki.

183
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:20,784
The man who doesn't believe
the refrigerator light goes off.

184
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:25,329
The man who knows a thousand and one
unfunny jokes about sheep.

185
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:29,365
The man who thinks Bo Derek
is a fine little actress.

186
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:34,964
And you are telling me
that he's not going to embarrass me?

187
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,903
Take a reality pill.

188
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,540
lf you're gonna be embarrassed,
don't go.

189
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,745
oh, great, lay a guilt trip on me.

190
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:51,511
You don't have to tell me
that tonight is going to be a disaster.

191
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,591
And you don't have to tell me
how terrible l'm going to feel...

192
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,228
...if l'm not there to pick up the pieces.

193
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:01,127
All right, l'll go.
There. l hope you're happy.

194
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,998
-lf it'll be easier for you, l'll go with you.
-oh, sure, come along.

195
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:10,335
lt wouldn't be a car wreck
without innocent bystanders.

196
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,875
-l'm gonna go put on my face.
-Sure, easy for you.

197
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,603
You get to wear a disguise.

198
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:19,107
She is so manipulative.

199
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:41,067
Don't be shy. Come, come.

200
00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:48,403
So, Diane, what do you do?

201
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:52,277
Good opening line, Cousin Larry,
but she is my date.

202
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,914
l teach high school geography.

203
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,818
That's why l'm so fascinated
by Balki's homeland.

204
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,481
lt is a fascinating place.

205
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:02,889
We have no sewers.
And in the rainy season, it--

206
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,257
LARRY:
l-- l, uh.... Ahem.

207
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,922
l come from Wisconsin.

208
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:09,494
That's nice.

209
00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:10,726
oh!

210
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,394
Did l tell you my joke
about the three sheepherders?

211
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,164
oh, you don't wanna do that.

212
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:20,605
-This is the funniest joke in all of Mypos.
-lt's a small country.

213
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,849
These three sheepherders
want to find out...

214
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:28,748
...who has the most beautiful sheep
in all of Mypos.

215
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:32,721
So they decide to bring each
the prize animal to be judged by the others.

216
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:34,449
Waiter. Waiter.

217
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,796
And so then the first one
presents his sheep.

218
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:41,455
And the others say,
''This is a very beautiful animal.''

219
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:46,900
-So big, so white, so fluffy, good gums.
-Waiter, yo.

220
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,973
You know this one. You're so funny.

221
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:53,543
So the next one presents his sheep,
even more beautiful.

222
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:58,445
And then the next one presents his sheep.
But it's just a horrible-looking animal.

223
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:02,951
Skinny, dirty, wrinkled face.

224
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:08,185
And they say, ''This has got to be
the most ugly animal in the world.''

225
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:12,694
And then, the sheep looks up,
right into their faces...

226
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:18,804
...and the sheep says,
''You think l'm ugly? Well, l'm not.''

227
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,612
-And?
-That's the punch line.

228
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:33,774
[DlANE LAUGHlNG]

229
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:37,115
-Anybody for the salad bar?
-There is no salad bar.

230
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:41,492
There's no punch line either.
That didn't stop him.

231
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:42,957
[BAND PLAYlNG]

232
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,028
oh....

233
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:49,428
Hey, you know, this sounds
like a song from my country.

234
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:51,466
oh, no, it doesn't.

235
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,606
DlANE: Really?
-Yes, it's called ''The Dance of Joy.''

236
00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:59,039
-lt's a lovely dance with lots of people.
-oh, look, they have takeout.

237
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:02,442
-Well, can you show us the dance?
-oh, no. No dancing.

238
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,674
-oh, come on. Show us.
-lt takes a lot of people.

239
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:09,287
-We'll stay here. Susan--
-oh, no, come on, Larry.

240
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,015
Waiter, check, please.

241
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,327
-Hey!
-Hey.

242
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:24,762
Come on, everybody, feel the beat.
Put on your boogie sandals.

243
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:27,535
Some of these people went to college.

244
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:31,802
Hey! Hey! Hey!

245
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:38,381
That's enough. Balki, Balki, that's it.
''The Dance of Joy'' is over.

246
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:42,281
Hey, we're having a good time.

247
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,945
-Dance.
-Five, six, seven, eight.

248
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,490
[BAND PLAYlNG]

249
00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:52,724
ALL:
Hey! Hey!

250
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,924
Hey! Hey!

251
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,535
Hey! Hey!

252
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:04,974
[LAUGHlNG]

253
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:09,843
-Goodnight, Susan.
-Goodnight. l had a great time.

254
00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:16,310
l can't believe it.

255
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:20,822
My first American date.
Diane says she'll even see me again.

256
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,858
lsn't life great?

257
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,229
No.

258
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:37,932
l made a fool out of myself.
l am so embarrassed.

259
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:42,843
-What? Why? We were having fun.
-Fun?

260
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,540
l made a public spectacle out of myself.

261
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:49,847
one threat of death and l was out there
tapping my little feet off.

262
00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:53,989
You did not make a spectacle of yourself.
Not even a private one.

263
00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:55,922
of course l did.

264
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:59,791
Well, look, some people can sing and dance
and get away with it.

265
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:04,732
l am not one of them.
l don't like to sing. l don't like to dance.

266
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:07,895
People look at you.

267
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:13,509
But if everyone is singing and dancing,
they don't point to one man and say:

268
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,079
''Look at that fellow
singing and dancing.''

269
00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:19,473
They look at the fellow
who's not singing and dancing.

270
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,516
Don't they?

271
00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:29,392
You know what l think?

272
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:32,962
l think you won't admit it.
But you really did have fun tonight.

273
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:34,621
-oh, no, l didn't.
-Yes, you did.

274
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,824
-Did not.
-You did too.

275
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,127
Didn't.

276
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,597
-You danced.
-l was threatened.

277
00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:43,969
-You sang.
-l didn't enjoy it.

278
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:47,077
-You laughed.
-A hollow laugh.

279
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,983
Well, nobody twisted your leg
to make you do that Cagney impression.

280
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:03,252
Well, l got sucked
into the mob mentality.

281
00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:06,926
Look, Balki, you and l are different.

282
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:10,802
-We are?
-Yes.

283
00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:14,805
You like to just jump
into the swimming pool of life...

284
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:17,771
...without even checking to see
if there is water.

285
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:22,411
l, on the other hand, like to make sure
there's water, a lifeguard...

286
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:24,776
...test for algae.

287
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:30,554
And then l dip a toe in and call it a day.

288
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:35,421
l shouldn't be teaching you anything.
l don't know how to have fun.

289
00:21:35,894 --> 00:21:37,919
That is not true.

290
00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:40,664
-You are a fun person.
-Really?

291
00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:43,801
-Yes.
-oh, no, l'm not.

292
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,604
Yes, you are.

293
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,399
-Do Cagney for me again.
-oh, no.

294
00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:50,541
-oh, come on.
-No.

295
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:52,870
-oh, come on.
-No, No.

296
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:56,503
-Please, or l'll look at you and point.
-okay.

297
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,648
oh, you dirty rat.

298
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,522
You killed my brother, you dirty rat.

299
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,617
Yeah?

300
00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:20,667
Perfect.

301
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,438
-Now, you see, don't you feel better?
-Well, yeah, l do.

302
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:30,038
You know, l'm gonna try
to loosen up more often.

303
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:33,575
-Thanks, Balki.
-l should thank you.

304
00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:38,052
lf it wasn't for you,
l'd still be throwing myself at women's feet.

305
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:43,261
You know, you taught me, if l just relax
and be myself, people will like me.

306
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:47,194
And you learned something.
Actually, you learned the same thing.

307
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,865
l guess so.

308
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,440
So you really think l sound like Cagney?

309
00:22:57,809 --> 00:22:59,140
-Perfect.
-Yeah?

310
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,300
[LARRY LAUGHlNG]

311
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:02,504
-Just like Cagney.
-Yeah.

312
00:23:03,014 --> 00:23:04,379
Can you do Lacey?

313
00:23:57,903 --> 00:23:59,894
[ENGLlSH SDH]