1
00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:39,195
[EXERClSE SHoW PLAYlNG
oN TELEvlSloN]
2
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,401
WoMAN [oN Tv] :
Higher, higher, higher
3
00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:53,072
Very good
4
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,272
Balki, don't do that.
5
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,953
lt would help me if the floor
didn't shake before noon.
6
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,552
Boy, you are grumpy in the morning.
7
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,191
l'm grumpy all the time.
8
00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:09,355
l just hide it better the rest of the day.
9
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:17,994
What are you doing?
10
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,803
Buttock pinches.
11
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:26,677
Don't forget to fold up the couch.
You left it open yesterday.
12
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:28,074
l can't.
13
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What do you mean, you can't?
lt's simple.
14
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BALKl:
No, it's not so simple.
15
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They build these things
so children can fold them up.
16
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:37,755
-No, no, l think--
-Balki, watch and learn.
17
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,452
-Take the little black handle.
-Yes.
18
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:43,391
-And as you lift, you push in.
-Yes, l know, cousin.
19
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:46,623
Balki, watch and learn.
20
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Just lift and push.
21
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:56,607
Lift and push.
22
00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:57,798
Lift and push.
23
00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,207
[MoUTHS]
And push
24
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,250
Push and lift.
25
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:05,611
And lift.
26
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:08,015
oh! oh! oh!
27
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lt's broken.
28
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,684
No, l think it's just a sprain.
29
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,591
No, l mean the sofa is broken.
30
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,426
Why didn't you tell me that?
31
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Well, because l was busy
watching and learning.
32
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[LARRY GRUNTS]
33
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oh, poor cousin.
Here, l know how to fix your back.
34
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,668
No, no, Balki. What are you doing?
35
00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:35,143
Balki, Balki, no, no, no.
36
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,909
Balki, no, no. Thank you.
37
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:41,713
l don't need any pagan cures.
38
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:49,361
l could've bought a new couch,
but no, l had to buy a used one.
39
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:54,125
Well, l'm the one that sleeps there,
so l buy the new one.
40
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,767
Whoa!
41
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,964
What did we lose?
42
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:09,907
Don't you ever, ever do that again.
43
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,579
What? l was getting my money.
44
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,313
You're kidding me.
You keep your money under a mattress?
45
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,980
Well, of course l do. l want it to be safe.
46
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:23,357
Safe? Didn't you ever think
that a thief could break in here...
47
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:26,464
...get tired ransacking the apartment,
lie down to take a nap...
48
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,123
...bam, your money's gone.
49
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,867
No, l never thought of that.
50
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:36,503
Well, you should.
Keeping money around attracts burglars.
51
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:39,975
You don't keep your money in a mattress.
You keep your money in a bank.
52
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,506
Why?
53
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,807
Because that
is what responsible people do.
54
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:47,748
lf the building was to burn down,
where would your money be?
55
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,912
Step into the 20th century.
56
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,982
But l don't know about banks.
57
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,153
What's to know?
Why do l have to explain everything?
58
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,065
Today on our lunch hour,
l'll take you to my bank.
59
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,225
You'll put that money
in a checking account.
60
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:05,963
But this is my mad money.
61
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,868
-Do you mean my savings too?
-Yes, yes, your savings too.
62
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,271
Everything. Now, get it.
63
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,447
l got it.
64
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,024
You'll never get it.
65
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,690
LARRY: Can we get on with this?
We're on our lunch break.
66
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,936
Uh, excuse us.
This is Balki Bartokomous.
67
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,936
oh, l'm Harrison Harper.
68
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:44,909
Balki would like to open
a checking account.
69
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,512
l know. Sit, sit.
70
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,850
You've got your
Money Market Manager Account.
71
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,610
A thousand-dollar minimum balance.
72
00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:56,653
lncludes check guarantee,
credit card, overdraft protection...
73
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,951
...which means you can write checks
up to $5000 over your balance...
74
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:03,527
-...and a free color Tv.
-oh, l like that one.
75
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,823
l think that's a little out of your league.
76
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,096
-What is my league?
-Little League.
77
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,104
our Happy Saver Account.
78
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:17,368
Requires a minimum balance of $2,
and you get a free Freddy the Frog bank.
79
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,874
He'll take that one.
80
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,741
Balki, give him your money.
81
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:28,114
Just one moment.
There's a few things l don't understand.
82
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,752
When l put my money here,
what are you going to do with it?
83
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:35,120
The same thing they do with my money.
84
00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:37,558
They loan it out
to other people for interest.
85
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:42,028
They give my money to other people
just because it's interesting?
86
00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:46,467
No, no, no. lnterest is what people pay
the bank so that they can use your money.
87
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,301
Well, if they're using my money,
why don't they pay me?
88
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:54,904
Well, the bank performs a service.
89
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,016
For instance, you could come here
and borrow money yourself.
90
00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:02,883
l could come to this bank and borrow
my own money and then pay them interest?
91
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:07,720
Well, yes. Provided you have good credit.
92
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,960
What that is?
93
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:17,828
Well, credit is proving to the bank that you
don't need to borrow your own money.
94
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,202
Would you like to explain this to him?
95
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,137
Not on your life.
96
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,676
When my money is here,
who is going to be watching it?
97
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:28,671
Well, Mr. Harper will watch it.
98
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,782
Like a hawk.
99
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:34,219
Well, then l'm going to need
some references from you.
100
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,615
Balki, give him your money.
101
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,524
But how do l get my money
when l want to use it?
102
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:44,390
The bank gives you nice checks
with pretty little pictures.
103
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,431
When you wanna buy something,
sign your name to a check.
104
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,192
That's all there is to it.
105
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:54,135
You mean, when l want to spend money,
all l have to do is sign my name to a check?
106
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,707
Let's get this done
so that we can go back to work.
107
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:02,912
Take good care of it.
108
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:04,947
We will.
109
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,881
A hundred and twenty-eight dollars?
110
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:14,390
That's what this ordeal is about?
A hundred and twenty-eight dollars?
111
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,790
-Just take the money, please.
HARPER: Yes. Yes.
112
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,591
lf you will just pick out
the style of checks you want...
113
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:22,700
...we can wrap this up
during my lifetime.
114
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,468
Rainbows. l love rainbows.
115
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,005
Rainbows it is.
116
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,267
[BALKl GASPS]
117
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Flowers.
118
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,875
okay, flowers.
119
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,515
Puppies.
120
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,848
Lower.
121
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:47,617
Lower.
122
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,283
ooh! Ah!
123
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,095
Lower.
124
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,091
Ho, ho, ho!
125
00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:00,230
Balki Claus is coming to town.
126
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:03,204
And what does he have?
127
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,005
An apple for Larry Appleton.
128
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,675
Where do l come up with them?
129
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:16,079
And for you, Susan,
your favorite sugarless gum.
130
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,080
Thank you, Balki.
131
00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:20,418
Balki, this is very nice.
What's the occasion?
132
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:23,824
ls today Mypos Apple and Gum Day?
133
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:28,461
Ask me how l paid for these things.
134
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,864
Balki, how did you pay for these things?
135
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:34,632
l wrote checks.
136
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:36,903
They came today.
137
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,374
You wrote a check
for an apple and a pack of gum?
138
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:44,380
of course not. Don't be ridiculous.
139
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,383
l also bought you this nice bug light.
140
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:49,978
Well, l'm touched.
141
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:54,519
Appleton, front and center.
l'm planning a real big poker game tonight.
142
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,695
oh, uh, thank you, Mr. Twinkacetti, but--
143
00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:59,854
No, l don't play poker.
144
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,123
l wasn't inviting you.
145
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,463
Look, Appleton,
my wife hates for me to gamble.
146
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:08,732
That's why l'm telling her
l'm going to a basketball game with you.
147
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,136
Tonight. Got it?
148
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:13,142
So if it ever comes up, l was with you.
149
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,838
Uh, l can't do that. l can't lie for you.
150
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,284
Hey. l'm asking for a favor.
151
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:26,414
Man-to-man.
Men do those things for each other.
152
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:30,358
Some men in the Nixon White House
did those things for each other.
153
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,360
You leave my heroes out of this.
154
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:36,000
You know,
lying to your wife is really terrible.
155
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,659
News flash, sweet cheeks,
the ERA is dead.
156
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:42,467
You lost. Bow and get out.
157
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,203
Can l be candid?
158
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,639
[BLoWS RASPBERRY]
159
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:50,879
Now, come on, Appleton, huh?
160
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,644
lt's part of the code
of the male brotherhood.
161
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,514
What is this male brotherhood?
162
00:10:56,188 --> 00:10:58,679
Don't worry. No turnips allowed.
163
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:03,393
lt's okay, Balki.
Forget it, Mr. Twinkacetti.
164
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:06,861
l'll work, l'll take your abuse,
but l won't lie to your wife for you.
165
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:08,694
l won't forget this.
166
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,002
l just remembered. l got a truckload
of bodybuilding equipment downtown.
167
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:16,437
l want you to pick it up.
Shouldn't take your more than a whole day.
168
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,736
Mr. Twinkacetti.
169
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,708
Cousin Larry has a bad back.
170
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,439
[WHlSPERS]
Even better.
171
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,848
Cousin, l'll do this for you.
172
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:31,012
Don't worry. l know the correct way to lift
without putting stress on my back.
173
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,179
ow!
174
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,258
Cousin, would you please let me fix this?
175
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:37,760
No, l'm okay. l'm fine. l'm fine.
176
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:43,059
l'm, uh, looking for a ''Balki Bartokomous.''
177
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:47,433
Yeah. That's him over there,
the one who can stand erect.
178
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,771
-l got that furniture you ordered.
BALKl: oh, wonderful.
179
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,467
My cousin will be so happy.
180
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:56,479
Yeah, yeah, all l want is $3028.43.
181
00:11:56,649 --> 00:12:01,552
No problem. l have checks.
182
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:14,622
[SlNGlNG ''ToUCH ME lN THE MoRNlNG'']
183
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,011
Twinkacetti cannot beat me.
184
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:40,220
l just moved 1 2 tons
of bodybuilding equipment...
185
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:43,020
...by myself.
186
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,722
lt was tough.
187
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,764
But l'm a better person for it.
188
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,704
You also look shorter.
189
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:06,216
LARRY: That's because every vertebra
in my body is compressed.
190
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,412
oh, boy.
191
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:14,355
oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
192
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:28,800
Surprise.
193
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,067
l bought you new furniture.
194
00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:34,576
lt's a present from me to you.
195
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,777
[LARRY SoBBlNG]
196
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:56,423
ohh, l can't believe you did this.
197
00:13:57,002 --> 00:14:00,494
l can't believe you did this.
198
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,970
l know. l can hardly believe it myself.
199
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:06,736
And you're welcome.
200
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:14,080
Balki, let me make something
absolutely clear.
201
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:16,118
See, my furniture was....
202
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:18,950
Well-- Well, it was my furniture.
203
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:23,584
And this furniture is not.
204
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,089
oh.
205
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:30,497
-You don't like it?
-No, it's not that l don't like it.
206
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,967
Yes, it is. l don't like it.
207
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:41,070
Well, but you complained
about your broken sofa...
208
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,909
...and you don't like your old furniture...
209
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,278
...and l just wanted
to give you something.
210
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,955
Balki. Balki, you got rid of my things,
my things, my things!
211
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,149
l've got it.
212
00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:57,489
No, no, no, you don't got it.
You've got to understand.
213
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,324
Look, look.
214
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:06,100
l'm gonna tell you something about
my upbringing l have never told you.
215
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:09,036
-You are?
-Yes. See, l come from a big family.
216
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,869
l was one of nine kids.
217
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,510
You told me that.
218
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:15,476
My parents weren't poor,
but they didn't have a lot of money.
219
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,138
You told me that.
220
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,450
We grew up in a middle-class house...
221
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:22,951
...in Madison, Wisconsin--
Look, the new stuff is coming, all right?
222
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,448
Sorry.
223
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:29,516
The point is, with all those kids,
nothing was ever really yours.
224
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:33,426
lf l had a toy,
l had to share it with eight other kids.
225
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,534
So when l moved here,
see, l bought this furniture--
226
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:40,502
Well, not this furniture,
but my own furniture.
227
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:44,973
lt was used, it was a little uncomfortable,
but it was all mine.
228
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,169
And then tonight...
229
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:52,013
...l come home and l find that you....
230
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:56,445
You've taken away my toys.
231
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:01,391
oh, how sad.
232
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:05,895
lntellectually, l know, l know,
l'm overly possessive.
233
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,760
Almost neurotic about it.
234
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:10,333
-You are not.
-l'm not?
235
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,402
of course not.
236
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:15,540
Erotic? Don't be ridiculous.
237
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,300
Neurotic, neurotic, neurotic!
238
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,536
okay. Don't get crazy.
239
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,510
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
240
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:27,174
Where did you get the money
to pay for all this stuff?
241
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:30,811
oh, that was no problem.
l just wrote a check.
242
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,348
You wrote a check? For how much?
243
00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:36,726
Three thousand twenty-eight dollars
and forty-three cents.
244
00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:38,123
Three thou--
245
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,824
Good deal, huh?
246
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,030
They even threw in these plastic flowers.
247
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,138
Balki, Balki, Balki.
248
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,699
You only had $ 1 28...
249
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:53,333
...less the pack of gum,
apple and bug light.
250
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:54,979
But the man at the bank said...
251
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:58,480
...l can write checks for more money
than l have as long as l...
252
00:16:58,650 --> 00:16:59,947
-No.
-...pay it back someday.
253
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,450
No, no, no. No.
254
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:05,056
That's the Money Market Manager Account.
You have the Happy Saver Account.
255
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,283
Don't you understand
anything about banking?
256
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,021
No, l don't understand banking.
257
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,425
ln Mypos, money is not that important.
258
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:17,535
Two chickens is a pig, two pigs is a cow,
and two cows is a fortune.
259
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,673
You're the one that made me
go to a bank and got me confused.
260
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,671
Yeah, yeah, okay. oh, sure. Ah! ooh!
261
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:29,245
Yeah, blame it on me.
Yes, why didn't l see it before?
262
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:32,111
Yes, it's all my fault
and l'll burn in hell for it.
263
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:35,011
Boy, you're taking this hard.
264
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:38,656
-What's the big deal?
-What's the big deal?
265
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:40,951
You wrote a check
for $3000 more than you have.
266
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,321
You don't wanna go to prison
for this furniture.
267
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,531
You're right. lt's my fault.
268
00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:50,167
No, look, look, it's not your fault.
269
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:55,272
l made you get that bank account and l
didn't take the time to explain the basics.
270
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:57,102
lt's not a big deal.
271
00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:00,109
They'll take this furniture back
and we'll get back my stuff.
272
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,372
-What did you do with it?
-That's no problem.
273
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:05,483
l sold it to Mr. Twinkacetti.
274
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:09,612
You sold it to Twinkacetti?
275
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:14,555
You sold my chair, my sofa,
my coffee table, my lamp?
276
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:18,628
My rug? You sold my lucky rug?
277
00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:21,627
ls this neurotic?
278
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,530
Yes. Yes, and so is this.
279
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:38,345
That's my lamp.
280
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,511
We better hustle our buttocks.
281
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,313
Those pinches paid off.
282
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,823
Good morning, turnips.
Boy, am l a lucky guy.
283
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,223
Last night,
l won $600 in the poker game.
284
00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:52,829
And this junk will be gone before lunch.
285
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:56,661
l'm gonna buy back my furniture
for what you paid Balki for it.
286
00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:59,099
Come on, Appleton.
287
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:02,934
You think l could sell this elegant decor
for a measly 75 bucks?
288
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:04,541
Seventy-five bucks?
289
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,178
You sold my furniture for 75 bucks?
290
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:11,009
Well, it made sense
when Mr. Twinkacetti explained it.
291
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:12,514
l'll bet it did.
292
00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:14,845
You can't do this to me. lt's not fair.
293
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,720
You're right.
294
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:20,290
l shouldn't take advantage of a fellow
member of the male brotherhood.
295
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:25,260
But then, as l recall,
this male member is a code violator...
296
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:27,864
...and l owe him nothing.
297
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:32,197
Zip, as in the big o.
298
00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:35,834
My God, my wife.
299
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,008
Edwina, my pet.
300
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,111
What a cherished moment.
301
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:43,112
Boys, my beloved wife.
302
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:44,408
Hello, Mrs. Twinkacetti.
303
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,608
oh, nice to see you, Larry.
304
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,310
And this must be Balki.
305
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:54,417
l have heard so much about you.
306
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:59,257
Well, l have heard so much about you too
and l don't believe half of it.
307
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,365
We kid around. Ha-ha-ha!
308
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,233
Did you enjoy going
to the basketball game with my husband?
309
00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:11,968
-Basketball?
-Loved it. Loved it.
310
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,704
Remember, turnip? Bouncy, bouncy.
311
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,474
Why don't we step into the office?
l got fresh coffee.
312
00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:19,617
Balki, don't you see what happened?
313
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:23,619
Mr. Twinkacetti told his wife
he was with you last night.
314
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,347
ohh.
315
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,558
oh, boy.
316
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,526
Friend, member of the male brotherhood.
317
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,465
oh, so now l'm a member.
318
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,730
Are you kidding? You're a lieutenant.
319
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,094
How much do you like me?
320
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:42,433
Like you? l'd give you a kidney.
321
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,603
You'll cover for me, won't you?
322
00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:49,239
Do you mind if l call you turnip?
323
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:52,650
-Please.
-Balki, Balki.
324
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,615
Watch and learn.
325
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:59,220
l'll give you $65 for this furniture, turnip.
326
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:03,893
Two hundred. one seventy-five.
327
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,630
one hundred, and some glass beads.
Good deal, huh?
328
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,028
one dollar.
329
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:12,636
EDWlNA: Donald?
-Sold.
330
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:17,069
Donald, the strangest thing.
331
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:20,967
l found $600 in your office...
332
00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:24,081
...hidden behind your photo
of Gordon Liddy.
333
00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:26,980
You should keep your money in a bank.
334
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:31,648
l feel terrible. l was thinking--
335
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:35,589
l was thinking that you probably didn't
go to a basketball game last night.
336
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,729
You know, for one crazy moment...
337
00:21:37,896 --> 00:21:41,696
...l suspected you of playing poker
with your sleazy friends.
338
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,126
[BoTH LAUGHlNG]
339
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,972
But l know that couldn't be true...
340
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,701
...because our marriage
is based on mutual trust.
341
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:54,641
And if you ever violate that trust...
342
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:58,010
...l'll break your chubby little legs.
343
00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:04,348
We kid around.
344
00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:06,855
Donnie, l want you
to watch me spend your money.
345
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:08,754
-oh, no.
-Goodbye, boys.
346
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:10,827
Bye-bye, now.
347
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:14,331
You did good.
348
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:17,662
Thank you. l have a dark side.
349
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:23,269
Help me get this furniture upstairs.
350
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:26,309
And tonight, l'll teach you
how to balance your checkbook.
351
00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:30,608
okay. And then l teach you
how to balance a broom on your nose.
352
00:22:30,782 --> 00:22:32,511
Right. Right.
353
00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:35,853
oh! Ah! ooh!
354
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,716
Cousin, your back is still hurting.
355
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:40,723
l think it's time
l took your back by the horns.
356
00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:42,519
oh, Balki.
357
00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:48,294
Balki. My back. lt doesn't hurt.
358
00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:51,095
of course not. Balki fixed it.
359
00:22:51,269 --> 00:22:53,066
-That's incredible.
-Yes.
360
00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:55,433
of course,
sometimes there are side effects.
361
00:22:55,607 --> 00:22:59,475
Balki, l can't move my arms.
362
00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:04,010
-That's one of them.
-Now what?
363
00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:06,082
Well, for that, you gotta go to a doctor.
364
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:10,182
Come on, put them up.
365
00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:56,190
[ENGLlSH SDH]