* Sometimes the world looks perfect
* Nothing to rearrange
* Sometimes you just get a feeling
* Like you need some kind of change
* No matter what the odds are this time
* Nothing's gonna stand in my way
* This flame in my heart
* Like a long lost friend
* Gives every dark street a light at the end
* Standing tall
* On the wings of my dreams
* The rain and thunder
* The wind and haze
* I'm bound for better days
* My life
* My dream
* Nothing's gonna stop me now
* My life
* My dream
* Nothing's gonna stop me now
* Nothing's gonna stop me now *
Watch out, Gilligan.
(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
Skipper's got a frying pan.
(METAL CLANGS ON TV)
Oh, Gilligan.
You are one dumb cookie.
Balki.
You're not gonna believe it. (TV STOPS)
Here, read this.
"Dear sirs,
"The ma-nage-ment--"
"is happy to inform you..."
"That you are the winners of a state-of-the-art double-door refrigerator."
Yes!
BALKI: "Refrigerator
"or a free trip for two
"to ex-ci-ting Las Vegas."
BOTH: * Hey!
(BOTH VOCALIZING)
BOTH: * Hey, hey, hey
* Hey, hey, hey, hey! *
I've always dreamed of going to Vegas.
Well, dream on because we're taking the refrigerator.
What's wrong with Vegas?
Are you kidding?
Vegas is a moral wasteland.
When were you in Vegas?
Well, I... (STAMMERING) Never.
But I saw Ocean's Eleven.
All Vegas is is gambling,
flashing lights, big name entertainers
and showgirls in skimpy costumes.
You're right, let's pack.
(VOCALIZING)
* Hey, hey, hey, hey
* Hey *
Balki!
It even talks to you.
It tells you when you leave the door open.
It tells when you're low on eggs.
When you eat too much, it talks down to you.
I want to go to Vegas.
Well, my name was on the entry too
and I want the refrigerator.
and here I am.
To go one of the most famous place in the world.
And... And you want a refrigerator?
It has a lettuce crisper.
Cousin, I know a way to decide.
Put your hands out like this.
In Mypos, this is how the parents choose a bride for their son.
* Dimbodega dimbodega
* Dabodega smack
* Bobedega dimbodega
* Bimbodega hack *
That's a ridiculous way to decide anything.
That's what the groom usually say.
This is America.
Now, you call it.
Heads!
Drat.
I lose. I always lose.
Vegas! Here we come!
Oh, cousin, we're going to have an adventure.
Well, I'll go.
But I won't have any fun.
But of course not. I wouldn't expect you to.
It's everything I dreamed Vegas would be.
Me, too.
Oh, look.
Somebody left a beautiful pen.
(GASPS)
Look, free champagne!
Sure, they want you to get drunk so you'll gamble more.
Don't touch this until we get back to Chicago.
Now, I'm gonna put my luggage in my room
Now, that's great art.
The whole village could sleep on this.
"Magic fingers, 25 cents."
(BED BUZZING)
Vegas.
Cousin Larry, come here!
Don't tell me.
You found the stationery.
Wayne Newton is here!
He is the biggest selling record artist on Mypos.
The man is a legend.
We must go see him.
* Danke schoen, darling, Danke schoen
Okay.
Thank you.
Well, I did make a list of some fun things to do.
I thought at 11:00,
That'll get us back here by 4:30.
Then it's a 15-minute walk to the Liberace museum.
An hour for the tour, if we, uh, skip the shoe collection.
And then we can end the day with a nice desert walk.
Cousin Larry, you are leaving out the most fun thing of all.
The casino.
No, no. Absolutely no casinos.
Why not?
To take all the fun out of the trip.
To protect you.
Who Uncle Pete?
Uncle Pete was a gambler.
He gambled away everything he owned.
His car, his house. We never did find Aunt Susan.
And that's why you can't go into a casino.
(SOBBING) I want to go to casino.
All right, maybe...
After the desert walk and before Wayne Newton
we can walk through the casino.
Oh, boy!
But no stopping.
Ohh, boy.
We should have taken the refrigerator.
Well, it's a little late for that now.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
MAN 1: Place your bets.
(PEOPLE WHOOPING)
MAN 2: Do it.
What... What is this?
This is the bar.
But, what was that we just ran through?
That was the casino.
Cousin, why you didn't tell me?
I want to see the casino. Hey!
You got a great view from right here. Look at them.
You wanna become one of those miserable souls out there? (BELL RINGS)
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
Yes.
No, you don't.
(BELL RINGS) (PEOPLE CHEERING)
Boy, they're hiding it well.
Balki, you just sit down, order a drink and I'll go get our tickets.
But I want to-- Balki, sit.
Stay. Stay.
Remember Uncle Pete.
MAN 1: No more breaks. MAN 2: Yes, sir.
Hi, there.
Wanna have a good time?
Well, I've already been to the Liberace Museum.
Let's start again.
Hello, Wendy.
Are you a show girl?
I love the theater.
Look, so do you wanna party or what?
Oh, I'd love to go to a party.
Can I bring cousin Larry?
I got the tickets.
Cousin Larry, this is Wendy.
Hello, Cousin Larry.
Hello, Wendy.
Balki, what are you doing with this woman?
Shooting the breeze.
She wants to go to a party.
I bet she does.
Uh...
This man has no money.
Hi, there. Wanna have a good time?
Balki...
What were you doing with her?
Don't you know what that woman does for a living?
Well, of course I do. Don't be ridiculous.
She does Hamlet in a rubber suit.
No?
Well, let's just say that, uh,
BOTH: Ohh!
Ohh!
(CHUCKLING)
She's a sheepherder.
That's right.
Why don't you and I go get ready for the show?
Oh, we have plenty of time.
I have... A quarter.
I want to hit the slots.
All right. This will be a good lesson for you.
until you throw your money away.
Go ahead, put your money in the machine,
pull the handle
There, I hope you're happy.
(BELL RINGING)
I love Vegas!
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
So, this is what a casino looks like.
Different when you're not running.
Okay, you've seen it.
If you stay here, you'll catch the fever.
What fever?
I hit $150 jackpot.
Balki, I forbid you to stay here.
Well, papa, don't preach.
I'm a big boy now. I can look after myself.
That's just what Uncle Pete said
just before he gambled away his pacemaker.
Cousin, I am going to go gambling.
All right, all right. Fine.
This will be a good lesson.
You've had the thrill of victory,
What is this game?
It's called Roulette.
The odds are really against you.
Why don't you try it?
All right, if you think I should.
* Dimbodega dimbodega dabodega... *
Good, 32.
Number 32.
This is fun.
Can you teach me how to spin the marble?
No.
Bets.
All right, we don't have much time
if we wanna see Wayne Newton.
I'm gonna have to help you lose your money.
How much should we bet?
and you'll be broke and miserable.
Good strategy.
Number 36.
Cousin, you won!
I can't get a break.
Oh, I lose.
Now, how do you feel?
Believe me, you're a better person for it.
Now, soon as I lose the rest of your money we can go to the show.
Number 36.
Cousin, you did pretty good.
Yeah, I guess I would be, if I was trying to win.
Let's try my birthday.
Cousin, almost time for Wayne show.
No, Balki, I can't leave. I still have this money to lose for you.
But, Wayne is waiting.
All right, I'll tell you what.
Here's your ticket to the show.
I'll catch up with you as soon as I lose this.
Number 24.
I win. I win!
Are you sure you don't mind?
Hmm?
Cousin, are you all right?
I'm fine. I'll see you at the show.
Why don't you come now? No, you go ahead.
Save my seat.
* Danke Schoen... *
Okay, baby needs a new pair of shoes.
Double down, boxcars, let it ride.
Number 24, again.
Yes, yes!
Come on, 12. Lucky number 12.
Number 22.
I was gonna bet 22.
Okay, give me 22.
Cousin. What, what?
I waited and waited for you.
(STAMMERING) And I worried for you.
Why you didn't come to see Wayne?
Well, I would have but I, uh...
I, uh, I sold my ticket.
Number 12.
Okay, come on. Give me six, 12, 22
and all the blacks.
Why you sold your ticket?
Gambling takes money.
Well, you have plenty of money.
You can never have enough money.
Cousin, I'm confused.
Well, school's out.
Come on, six, 12, 22 and all the blacks.
Number seven.
Red.
Cousin, where you got those chips?
I sold my plane ticket.
You sold your plane ticket?
How are you going to get home?
Don't worry.
I think you take after
One more time for number 12.
No, no. I don't let you do that.
No, Balki, just put those on the 12.
No, no. No, Balki, wait.
Oh, look, there's Wayne Newton.
Wayne! Everything on the 12.
Spin it. Spin it.
You tricked Balki.
You used Wayne's name in vain.
I can't let you gamble away
everything like your Uncle Pete.
(CHATTER STOPS)
Balki...
Why don't you the nice men back their marble?
Not until you promise to stop gambling.
(CHUCKLES) He just doesn't understand good, clean fun.
Promise.
All right, good.
(CHATTER RESUMES)
Don't you ever, ever do that again.
Now, go to your room.
I'm not going anywhere. I lied.
Well, then, I lied too.
Balki, give me back those chips!
Number 12.
No, no.
Balki! Balki!
Here's Larry!
I want my money!
(SCREAMS) Argh!
It's all right.
Everything's all right.
I forgive you.
I know you're here. (SNIFFING)
I can smell my chips.
Whoa...
Well...
(YELLING AND GRUNTING)
(YELLS)
(BUZZING) BOTH: Ooh!
(GRUNTING)
Give me my chips.
(LARRY PANTING)
(YELLING)
There is no Cousin Larry.
There's only Lucky Larry!
And I'm going for the big jackpot!
I'm gonna blow this town wide open!
Now, give me my chips.
You don't know what you're doing.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Uncle Pete!
Oh! Oh, my God.
What's happening?
Well, I'm no expert.
But as far as I can tell,
you just went off the deep end.
I don't know what's happening to me.
I... I thought I came along to protect you.
And, uh, now look at me.
I sold my Wayne Newton ticket.
I sold my plane ticket.
I sold the free champagne.
I'm...
I'm a compulsive gambler.
No, you are not.
You're just a regular person who got caught up
in the excitement of Vegas.
Am I?
Well, you don't bet on the football pools
or the horses at home, do you?
That's true.
you told me not to waste my money.
I did, I did.
Do you feel like gambling now?
of another casino for as long as I live.
(EXCLAIMING IN FRUSTRATION)
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Come again?
You're problem is, you either go too far
or you don't go at all.
I've always had trouble with the middle.
Cousin, you just need some practice having fun.
I could help you.
For instance, this weekend, we could have little fun.
Then next weekend, we could have a little more fun.
And then in a couple of years,
you could be a real party animal,
like me.
Do you think so?
Well, of course I do.
And don't worry about your plane ticket.
I'll loan you the money. Oh, Balki, thank you.
I owe you a lot.
I know.
I would? I would. I would.
That's nice.
Now, let's go do something fun.
Can we catch Wayne Newton's second show?
Now, you're talking.
Larry Appleton, you're going to be one fun guy.
* Danke Schoen... *
(SINGS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
BOTH: * When you tore your dress
* What a mess *