1
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,500
Oh, thank you, cousin.

2
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,228
I thought it was
gonna suck my brains out.

3
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,970
Balki, you're not gonna believe
what I got in the mail today.

4
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:24,076
Your letter from Publishers Clearing House?
You may already have won?

5
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,872
No, no, but this
is almost as good.

6
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:29,173
Balki, what do I wanna be?

7
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:30,977
Tall.

8
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,616
What do I want
to do for a living?

9
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,448
Be a photographer.

10
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:39,717
Yes, and who inspired me
to become a photographer?

11
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,018
No.

12
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:44,695
Roger Morgan.

13
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,699
Who that?

14
00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:50,659
Who that Roger Morgan?

15
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,362
He happens to be the best
photographer in the worid.

16
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,532
And this is an invitation
for Lawrence Appleton and a guest...

17
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:59,837
...to the black-tie opening
night party of his new photo exhibit.

18
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,675
Everybody who's anybody in
the photo biz will be there.

19
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,545
Get out of the city.

20
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,986
Why would he invite you?

21
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:09,587
Well, be...

22
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:14,155
<i>Because I was one of the winners
of the Chicago Gazette Photo Contest.</i>

23
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,625
And Roger Morgan
was one of the judges.

24
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:20,323
Oh, cousin, that's nice.

25
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:24,527
Balki, Balki, it is
more than just nice.

26
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:28,538
It's like me wanting to be a baseball player
and meeting Pete Rose.

27
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,905
Or me wanting to be an actor
and meeting Laurence Olivier.

28
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:36,913
Is it like me meeting the
great sheepherder Zimdog Zakibadbad?

29
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,347
Yes, yes.

30
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,987
Then this is an
exciting day for you.

31
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,146
Yes, yes, it is.

32
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,383
And I'm glad I
could share it with you.

33
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,255
Oh, cousin, a
party. I love a party.

34
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,795
We can play Pin
the Tail on the Mule.

35
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:55,492
And we can bob for potatoes,
and we can do the limbo log.

36
00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:57,101
No, Balki, Balki.

37
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,294
I think you misunderstood.

38
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:04,000
I'm sharing my happiness with you,
but I'm sharing the evening with Jennifer.

39
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,873
Jennifer?

40
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,243
Why you ask Jennifer?

41
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:15,244
Because she's beautiful, and I want her.
- That's a good point, very good point.

42
00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:19,146
But I want you to know,
if she couldn't go, you were next on my list.

43
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,793
I mean that. You, you.

44
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,297
Mr. Twinkacetti,
can you believe it?

45
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:29,731
Cousin Larry and Jennifer
are going to a black-tie party.

46
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:32,837
Color me excited.

47
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,742
All right, you tell
him it was your fault.

48
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:39,241
It was a simple mistake.
- Simple mistake?

49
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,711
All right, I'm a simple person.
Is that what you wanted to hear me say?

50
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:45,817
Ladies, ladies, why
the stormy weather?

51
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,749
Larry, I can't go to the
party tomorrow night. I'm working.

52
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,350
But you were gonna fly to New
York tonight and be back tomorrow.

53
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,461
That's what I thought, but Mary
Anne got our destinations mixed.

54
00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:00,622
We're not going to New York,
we're going to New Zealand.

55
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:05,029
New York, New Zealand.
It could happen to anybody.

56
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:09,007
You're going to New Zealand?

57
00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:12,269
The sheep capital of the worid?

58
00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:15,505
How lucky can you get?

59
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,773
See?

60
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:25,281
We won't be back until after your party.
I'm so sorry, Larry, I feel terrible.

61
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,325
I just hope you can find
someone else to go with you.

62
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:31,156
Well, we better get going.
We've got a lot to pack.

63
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,026
We're coming back
through New Delhi.

64
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,258
You didn't tell me anything
about New Delhi.

65
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:39,098
I don't know anything about New Delhi.

66
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,712
Uh...

67
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:52,851
Who did you say
was next on your list?

68
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,065
Balki, I got the tuxedos
for the party tonight.

69
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,972
Cousin, I'm ready to party.

70
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,538
Now tell me...

71
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,772
...how do I look?

72
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,756
Balki, you're not going to
meet Roger Morgan dressed like that.

73
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,116
Why not?

74
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:38,021
Because this is a
black-tie party, not a bullfight.

75
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:40,964
But I'm wearing a black tie.

76
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,625
Balki, black tie means
you have to wear a tuxedo.

77
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,368
Well, of course it does,
don't be ridiculous.

78
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:47,972
I'll go splash some on.

79
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,665
Balki.

80
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,603
This is a tuxedo.

81
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,011
I don't have one of that.

82
00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,448
I know that. That's
why I got this for you.

83
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:05,356
Oh, cousin, it's beautiful.

84
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,288
You shouldn't have
bought this for me.

85
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,394
I didn't. I rented it.

86
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,423
You paid somebody money
so I could wear his clothes?

87
00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:19,534
Yes.
- But I have already have clothes.

88
00:07:19,705 --> 00:07:23,698
But not like these.

89
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,468
Yours?
- Yes.

90
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:27,806
Yours looks just like mine.

91
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:29,470
Yes.

92
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:34,846
But if we dressed exactly alike,
how would people tell us apart?

93
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:39,181
Dental records.

94
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:48,458
Balki, believe me.

95
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,297
This is not the kind of party
where you're supposed to have fun.

96
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,539
Let me get this straight.

97
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:59,441
Everybody's gonna be wearing black suits.
- Yes.

98
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,807
And nobody's going to be having any fun?
- Yes.

99
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,348
What the difference is
between this party and a funeral?

100
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,143
There's no body.

101
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,950
But I can fix that.

102
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:16,156
Balki, this party is
very important to me.

103
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:20,322
It is vital that
we behave properly.

104
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:23,428
Roger Morgan has been known
to take young photographers...

105
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,003
...under his wing and
make them what they are today.

106
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,932
What are they today?

107
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:32,436
Photographers.

108
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,442
That's what you want to be.

109
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,680
Yes, yes, it is.

110
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,748
Balki, look, so you
know what to expect.

111
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,553
Why don't we pretend that
the living room is the gallery?

112
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,891
There are photographs on the wall,
important people standing around.

113
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:55,864
We both have drinks,
we're looking at a photograph.

114
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,833
Someone comes up and asks...
- What kind of drink do I have?

115
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,099
What kind of drink would you like?

116
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,600
Cola, please.

117
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,980
You have a cola.

118
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:13,514
Someone comes up...
- Do you have a diet? Have a diet?

119
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,784
You have a diet cola.

120
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,516
Someone comes up...
- You don't have caffeine-free?

121
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:23,651
You have a caffeine-free diet cola.
- Free diet cola.

122
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,798
Someone...
- Unless you got a ginger ale in there, but...

123
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,501
No drinks. We
have no drinks.

124
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,436
We have a little pretzel?
- No.

125
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:35,403
Chip of some kind?
- No, no food, no drinks.

126
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,167
Nothing.

127
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:40,938
We are standing here looking
at a photograph.

128
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:44,105
Oh, puppy dogs.

129
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,919
Fine.

130
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:54,423
Someone comes up and asks, "What
do you think of this photograph?"

131
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,585
I think it's pretty.
- Wrong.

132
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,158
I think it's ugly.

133
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,596
Wrong.

134
00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:07,795
I think it's...

135
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,874
...pretty ugly.

136
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:25,854
Is this how you're going to act
when you meet Roger Morgan?

137
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:27,253
No, I'll be good.

138
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,690
Boy, are you strict.

139
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:33,729
Yes, I am.

140
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,499
Balki, at this
kind of party...

141
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:39,069
...it doesn't
matter what you think.

142
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:42,571
What matters is that they think
you think what they think. Got it?

143
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,972
I don't think so.
- All right.

144
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,402
Let me make it
simple for you.

145
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,481
When they ask you what you think,
you ask them what they think.

146
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,015
And tell them
the same thing.

147
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,715
But they already know what they think.
- Exactly.

148
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,314
And they wanna hear
the same thing from you.

149
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,719
So let's try it again.

150
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,290
We're looking
at a picture.

151
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:05,453
Balki, where are you going?

152
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:09,924
I'm choosing a new picture, it's
enough with puppies. Yeah, this one.

153
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,115
What do you think of this picture?
- Well, l...

154
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:24,544
What do you think?

155
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:27,484
I like it. How about you?
- I like it too.

156
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:29,951
Very good.

157
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,784
All right, let's
try on your tuxedo.

158
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:38,953
Cousin, are you sure this is
the way people act at these parties?

159
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:42,032
Balki, of course
I'm sure. Trust me.

160
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:45,534
This is just a game you play
to get your foot in the door.

161
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,367
Well, don't worry, I
won't embarrass you.

162
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,874
You're gonna be proud of me.

163
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,584
I guessed at the size.

164
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,284
Guess again.

165
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:45,889
Cousin, I'm sorry the
tuxedo place was closed.

166
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,624
Me too.

167
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,098
I don't mind being
a little different.

168
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,864
I'm proud of my heritage.

169
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,106
Okay, be proud.

170
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,268
Just stand behind me.

171
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,380
Which one is Roger Morgan?

172
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,453
Oh, I don't see him.

173
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:13,820
<i>Look, that's Frank Lambert.
He's the photo editor of Shutter Magazine.</i>

174
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:18,020
And that's Dick Jorgeson.
He won a Pulitzer prize last year.

175
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:21,965
Oh, there's Margaret Milgram.
She owns the gallery.

176
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:25,928
Balki, I never thought I'd be rubbing elbows
with so many important people.

177
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,596
I'd love to rub those elbows.

178
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,442
It's an expressión.

179
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,408
Don't rub anything.

180
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,445
Let's mingle.
- What does that mean?

181
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:44,146
It means talk without
touching. Without touching.

182
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:53,661
"Hitchhiker on the
Road to Bitterness."

183
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:57,994
You know, I think it's the
essence of Roger's best work.

184
00:13:58,704 --> 00:13:59,932
Do you really think so?

185
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,039
Yes, I do.

186
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,802
What do you...?

187
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:11,046
Think?

188
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,117
What do I think?
- Yes.

189
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,185
What do I think?
- Yes.

190
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,255
I think it's the
best of his essence too.

191
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,688
We have a calendar
of all his work at home.

192
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,692
This is September.

193
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,867
A calendar?

194
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,471
Yes, it's right
over the toilet.

195
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,637
A toilet? Please.

196
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,674
Oh, it's right out
the door to your left.

197
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,278
Well, I never.

198
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,943
Well, in that case, let
me suggest a high-fiber diet.

199
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:55,217
Dennis, I need a drink.

200
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,396
New rule.

201
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,806
Don't say anything...

202
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:14,002
...unless you've got something
caught in your throat.

203
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,378
But, cousin, I was just agreeing
with her like you said.

204
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:21,781
Don't you think it's a good picture?
- Yes, it's a good picture.

205
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,319
All his pictures are good.

206
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:26,624
I looked at this one
all through September.

207
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:30,784
I think it might have been better
if he had shot it with a wide-angle lens.

208
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:34,194
Would have made the car seem
further away, a little more desolate.

209
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:38,302
Boy, you know a lot for a guy
who's never sold a picture.

210
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,568
Thank you.

211
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,975
You know, I always wondered
why he only shoots in black and white.

212
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,140
Sir?

213
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,009
Thank you.

214
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:59,749
Balki, give the
man back his tray.

215
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:03,126
He give it to me.
- Balki.

216
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:08,292
Just take one thing, and let
the waiter serve the other guests.

217
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,832
Thank you.

218
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:16,598
What this?

219
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,675
Those are finger sandwiches.

220
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,781
No, Balki.

221
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,283
Balki.

222
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:31,287
Balki, they're
not what you think.

223
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,721
Just take something.

224
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,392
Perhaps a cocktail frank?

225
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,091
My name's not
Frank, it's Balki.

226
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:47,268
And I think cocktails are
those little drinks over there.

227
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,771
Thank you. I'll
try to remember that.

228
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:02,853
You know, you'd think they'd get
a waiter who knew what he was doing.

229
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,150
Oh, yes, you think they would.

230
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:12,259
Good to see you. Margaret, how are you?
- Roger, so good to see you.

231
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,496
Balki, that's him.
That's Roger Morgan.

232
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:17,965
Cousin, he is not
wearing a black tie.

233
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:20,605
No wonder everyone
is staring at him.

234
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,773
All right, this is it.

235
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:26,342
Oh, sweaty palms. What
if he wants to shake hands?

236
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:27,536
All right.

237
00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:31,506
Mr. Morgan?
- Yes.

238
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:34,648
Oh, it is such a
measure to pleet you.

239
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,720
L...

240
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,481
I'm Larry... Larry... Larry...

241
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:39,885
Appleton.
- Larry Appleton.

242
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,856
And I was won... I was won...

243
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:44,120
Do you have something
caught in your throat?

244
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,491
No, no, I'm fine.

245
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:50,328
You know, Mr. Morgan, I always wondered,
why do you only shoot black and white?

246
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:52,367
Well...
- Cousin Larry was wondering that.

247
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:55,507
You were wondering the
same thing, weren't you, cousin?

248
00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:56,834
Excuse us.

249
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:04,104
That's it, it's over. The man
obviously thinks I'm an idiot.

250
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,978
No, he doesn't, cousin.

251
00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:10,720
He might think you talk a little funny,
and, well, who could blame him?

252
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:15,092
But he hasn't met the real Larry
Appleton, the one who speaks English.

253
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,921
Now, come on,
let's play the game.

254
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:20,463
No, I can't go back over to him again.
I had my chance and I blew it.

255
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,190
Oh, you just try again.

256
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:24,892
I can't.
- Yes, you can.

257
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,197
Cousin, if I was
standing there...

258
00:18:27,372 --> 00:18:30,967
...and the great Zimdog
Zakibadbad was over there...

259
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,170
...I would hope
you would do this.

260
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:38,749
No, Balki, Balki, all right, put me down,
put me down. Balki, put me down.

261
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,316
Mr. Morgan.

262
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:42,914
My cousin Larry, again.

263
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,784
Yes, I remember.

264
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:50,861
He admires you.

265
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,496
I do, I really do.

266
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,359
Thank you.

267
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,967
And he...

268
00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:00,496
...would like to be as great
as you are someday.

269
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,731
I would. I would.

270
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:08,071
You know, that's the great thing about
photography. It's a nonverbal medium.

271
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,152
The hitchhiker picture.
- Yes?

272
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:22,023
Don't you think you took it
with the wrong lens?

273
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:25,828
Mr. Morgan doesn't do anything
with the wrong lens.

274
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,522
Dennis.
- Don't worry, Mr. Morgan.

275
00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:29,496
I'll take care
of these people.

276
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,899
Margaret? Margaret?

277
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:37,100
Don't mind Dennis. He was born
with a silver spoon in his mouth.

278
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,242
Must have been
painful for his mama.

279
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,715
Excuse us again.

280
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,326
Do have any idea
what you just said?

281
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:58,224
I was just trying to help.
- Well, you didn't.

282
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,423
Morgan no longer thinks I'm
an idiot. He knows I'm an idiot.

283
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,000
And that I come
from a family of idiots.

284
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:08,029
Cousin, I am trying as hard as I can.

285
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,937
I don't understand
these strange social rules.

286
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:13,009
Thinking one thing,
and saying another.

287
00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:15,305
People should
just be themselves.

288
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,506
Except Dennis. He
should be somebody else.

289
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:22,682
You're right. I'm
sorry we even came.

290
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,682
Those are they.

291
00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:30,325
Pardon me, but how
did you get in here?

292
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,421
He's with me.
- I was talking to you.

293
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,669
I was invited.
- And I'm his invited guest.

294
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,402
Well, I'm uninviting both of you.

295
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,267
You're a blithering fool.

296
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,876
And you, you come
here dressed like a...

297
00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:48,808
Like a matador.

298
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,439
And proceed to utter the
most tactless, inane drivel...

299
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:55,143
Now, wait a minute.
He is not being tactless.

300
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,412
He's being honest.

301
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:59,648
He's the only one in the room
with the guts to say what he thinks.

302
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:03,056
And don't put down his clothes.
He is proud of his heritage.

303
00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:05,560
No one speaks
to her like that.

304
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:09,189
Well, I'm sorry, but
your nana was being rude.

305
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:17,039
His nana?

306
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,838
I'm calling security.

307
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,503
Dennis, really.

308
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,416
You're in trouble.

309
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:29,550
Come on, Balki,
let's get out of here.

310
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:30,949
Oh, there you are.

311
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,750
Young man, about
that lens comment.

312
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:37,691
Oh, Mr. Morgan, please, he was only
repeating a stupid remark he heard me say.

313
00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:41,162
Oh, but it wasn't stupid.
It was a very perceptive comment.

314
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:45,160
Well, it's what I really thought.
I'm not ashamed to admit it.

315
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:47,931
Not now anyway.
- Yes.

316
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:51,267
What lens would you have used?

317
00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:53,411
Well, I guess I
would have used a 28 mm.

318
00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:55,705
That's exactly the
lens I was gonna use.

319
00:21:55,881 --> 00:22:00,113
But my camera bag was locked
in the car, along with my keys.

320
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:02,378
Oh, boo, boo!

321
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:06,823
Cousin Larry does
that all the time.

322
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:11,958
It's refreshing to
hear an honest criticism.

323
00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:14,189
Usually, when I ask people
what they think...

324
00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:16,891
...they turn around and say,
"What do you think?"

325
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:22,240
I hate that.

326
00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:26,240
Larry? What was
the name again?

327
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:27,639
Appleton. Larry Appleton.

328
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:31,305
Cousin Larry won 10th place in
the photo contest that you helped to judge.

329
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:33,615
Appleton. I remember the picture.

330
00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:35,719
You do? My picture?
- Yes.

331
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:40,017
If the committee had listened to my opinion,
you would have done better than 10th.

332
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,717
Well, Mr. Morgan, you have
no idea how that makes feel.

333
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:45,260
Well, I was a
beginner once too, you know.

334
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:47,091
You've got a good eye, Appleton.

335
00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:49,529
I'd like to see some more of your work.
- Really?

336
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:52,602
Drop some pictures by the hotel.
Maybe I can be of help to you.

337
00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:56,207
Well, thank you.
- Nice outfit, kid.

338
00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:58,902
Very Myposian.

339
00:23:15,827 --> 00:23:18,796
I can't believe it. Roger
Morgan is gonna look at my pictures.

340
00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:21,558
All right, I'll
bring him these.

341
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,325
I can't bring him that.

342
00:23:23,502 --> 00:23:25,367
Maybe this, what do you think?

343
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,266
What do you think?

344
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:34,200
No, Balki, we're not at the gallery
anymore. I really need your opinion.

345
00:23:34,646 --> 00:23:35,943
No, you don't.

346
00:23:36,114 --> 00:23:37,945
Cousin, everybody has an opinion.

347
00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:42,610
Me, Roger Morgan,
even Dennis and his nana.

348
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,783
But the only one
that matters is yours.

349
00:23:45,957 --> 00:23:49,256
Now, bring Mr. Morgan
the ones that you like best.

350
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,659
Yeah, you're right.

351
00:23:54,232 --> 00:23:57,895
Come on, Balki. I wanna
bring these over to his hotel.

352
00:23:58,069 --> 00:24:00,367
Boy, this could be great.

353
00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:03,667
If Roger Morgan likes these,
I could be working in a newspaper...

354
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:05,070
...in a couple of weeks.

355
00:24:05,243 --> 00:24:07,677
We could be in a new apartment
in a couple of months.

356
00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:09,609
In a year...

357
00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:11,744
...I could win a Pulitzer.

358
00:24:12,818 --> 00:24:15,616
And if he doesn't like them?
- I'll jump off the Sears Tower.

359
00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:19,223
Cousin, don't you think
you're getting a little crazy again?

360
00:24:19,391 --> 00:24:21,120
Isn't there somewhere in the middle?

361
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,627
You're right.

362
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:29,733
How about I give him the pictures
and hope for the best?

363
00:24:29,901 --> 00:24:32,335
I second that emotion.