1
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:13,847
* Sometimes the world
looks perfect

2
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:16,384
* Nothing to rearrange

3
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,453
* Sometimes you
just get a feeling

4
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:23,624
* Like you need
some kind of change

5
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,328
* No matter what
the odds are this time

6
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,463
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way

7
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,399
* This flame in my heart

8
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,234
* Like a long lost friend

9
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:36,470
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end

10
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:41,209
* Standing tall

11
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:45,113
* On the wings of my dream

12
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,981
* Rise and fall

13
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,752
* On the wings of my dream

14
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,221
* The rain and thunder

15
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,888
* The wind and haze

16
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:57,391
* I'm bound for better days

17
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:01,962
* It's my life and my dream

18
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:05,266
* Nothing's gonna stop me now
* Nothing's gonna stop me now

19
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:08,602
* It's my life and my dream

20
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:11,605
* Nothing's gonna stop me now

21
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,183
* Nothing's gonna stop me now *

22
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,169
Cousin, you'll
never guess what!

23
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,604
Oh!

24
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,374
Are you all right?
I couldn't be better.

25
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,242
Mmm-hmm.
I have great news.

26
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:51,879
I signed us up for three days
and two fun-filled nights

27
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,881
at the Hidden
Mountain Ski Resort.

28
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,049
We're going skiing!

29
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,786
Skiing? What are
you talking about?

30
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,988
That nice game where you
put sticks on your feet

31
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,424
and slide down a mountain.

32
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,693
Balki, I know
what skiing is.

33
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,127
And I hate skiing.

34
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,430
Oh, how do you know?
Have you ever tried it?

35
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,664
Yes.

36
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,433
Our family went
skiing every winter

37
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:16,337
and every winter I spent
a week with my face in the snow.

38
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:19,907
My brothers and sisters
would use me as a ski jump.

39
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:24,978
I'm the only
Appleton who can't ski.

40
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,880
But, cousin, you haven't
heard the best part yet.

41
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,282
Balki, Balki--
It-it, let me--

42
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,150
You signed me up
for something

43
00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,952
without my permission,
didn't you?

44
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:34,588
Yes, I did, but-but--
And you shouldn't have.

45
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,790
You shouldn't have.
Cousin, cousin, cousin--

46
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:40,261
You shouldn't
have signed me up

47
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,263
No, I shouldn't have.
Fine.

48
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,399
I'm drained.

49
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,970
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

50
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,272
But--
No matter what you do.

51
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,173
But--
No matter what you say.

52
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:56,076
No way are you getting
me up on that mountain.

53
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:57,878
Hey, Larry, ready
to hit the slopes?

54
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,483
Bad news, Jennifer.

55
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,984
Cousin Larry and I
can't go skiing

56
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,152
with you and Mary Anne.

57
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,320
We can't?

58
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,555
Oh, no, we needed two more

59
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,423
to get a group rate.
Why can't you go?

60
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,660
Because Cousin Larry
have a recess in his jeans.

61
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,796
Uh, no, no, no, Balki, uh,
uh, what I, what I said was

62
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,665
I had to reassess my means.

63
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:18,666
(CHUCKLES)

64
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,801
Oh, and great news,
I can afford it.

65
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,536
Oh, good,
because I need your check

66
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,305
for the deposit.
It's $45.

67
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:25,539
Forty five dollars.

68
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,107
Well, that's
cheap when you're

69
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,643
used to skiing at
Aspen or the Alps.

70
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,247
But, cousin, you told
me you hate skiing!

71
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,983
Alone, I hate
skiing alone.

72
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,050
Going down the face
of a mountain

73
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,052
where no man
has skied before.

74
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,622
I want somebody
to share it with.

75
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:43,624
Well, there
will be 20 of us!

76
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,161
Cousin Larry used
to be a ski jump.

77
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,497
Er.

78
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,165
Ski jumper, yeah.

79
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:56,304
Used to be a ski jumper.

80
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,138
(LAUGHING)

81
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,274
Oh, oh... (CHUCKLES)

82
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,410
Terrific.
Yeah.

83
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:06,079
See you Friday.
Yeah.

84
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,781
(LAUGHS)

85
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,951
Me and Jennifer,

86
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,920
long talks by the fire.

87
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,323
Jacuzzi, moonlight.

88
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,325
I wish I had time
to grow a beard.

89
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,694
Sipping brandy.
Observation.

90
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,762
Yes.

91
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:25,299
A man says he hates skiing.
Yes.

92
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,401
A woman he yearns
for walks into the room

93
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,604
and suddenly that same
man is skiing the Alps.

94
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,645
Now, uh, cousin,
konk me on the head

95
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,647
with an anvil
if I'm wrong,

96
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,284
but didn't you just tell
one lallopalooza of a lie?

97
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,086
Not at all.

98
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,988
You told me
you hate skiing!

99
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,358
Balki, there's
a difference between skiing

100
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:53,093
and skiing with Jennifer.

101
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,528
One of them is a sport.

102
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,530
The other is something
worth dying for.

103
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,434
So, technically
I wasn't lying.

104
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,069
Well, in Mypos
we have a saying.

105
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:07,341
(SPEAKING IN MYPOSIAN)

106
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,013
Do you want me to translate?
Not really, no.

107
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:19,687
It says, "He who lies
falls into a deep pit."

108
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,858
In America
we have a saying.

109
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,494
"Butt out."

110
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,932
Candlelit dinners,
romantic music.

111
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,968
Maybe I should bring
my Julio Iglesias tapes.

112
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,811
How do those boots feel?

113
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,346
Well, ooh,

114
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,716
kinda make you
walk like Lee Majors.

115
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,090
How do I look?

116
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,094
Like six million bucks.

117
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,596
Okay, now, I got us a book

118
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,765
that will teach us
everything we need to know.

119
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,368
Have you seen the book?
Well, I think so.

120
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,406
Ah, here it is.
Oh, where?

121
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,476
Uh, careful.

122
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,145
(CLEARS THROAT)

123
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,382
Maybe I'll just put them down.
Yes.

124
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,018
(THUDDING)

125
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,822
I'll put them down,
you move the table

126
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,023
over there.

127
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:34,394
Boy, you know, these
boots are killing me.

128
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,573
(LAUGHS)

129
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,377
"The Zen Book Of Skiing.

130
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,613
Achieving Oneness
with the Snow."

131
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,751
"Oneness?"
Oneness.

132
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,688
This book will teach you
to think like an expert skier.

133
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,059
"Chapter one,
putting on your skis."

134
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:11,098
Well, I can
get us that far.

135
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,199
Here.

136
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,636
It's easy, just step in.

137
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:18,572
Toe in, heel down.

138
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:22,175
Toe in... In.

139
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,677
Heel down.
Yeah.

140
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,146
Toe in, heel down.

141
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,582
Toe in, heel down.

142
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,085
Boy,

143
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:37,591
Hmm.
Uh, how you get them off?

144
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,466
All right, now, let me,
let me get the book.

145
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,670
Just...
Yeah, yeah.

146
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:52,806
No, Balki, I,
I, all right, no.

147
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,374
Balki, look, back up.
Well, I--

148
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,243
Back up, back up,
Balki, back up.

149
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,578
(CREAKING)

150
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,551
You all right?
Think so.

151
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,519
All right.

152
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,855
(CREAKING)

153
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,833
Don't do that.

154
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,636
All right. Back up.
Maybe I...

155
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,137
(CREAKING)

156
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,708
(CREAKING)

157
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,901
Balki, Balki, let go.
You, let go.

158
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:57,771
You, let go first.
No, you, let go.

159
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,106
we'll both let go. Ready?

160
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,241
BOTH: One, two, three.

161
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,448
All right, on the count of three
we'll really let go. Ready?

162
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,651
BOTH: One, two, three.

163
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,389
All right, all right, move your,
move your right foot.

164
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,592
Pick up, pick up your right
foot, put it over there.

165
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,762
All right, move your left
foot, put it over there.

166
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:24,798
All right, straighten out,
straighten out.

167
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:28,001
(SIGHS)
All right, now
let's get the book.

168
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,046
Any idea how we
can get over there?

169
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,883
Ah, yes.

170
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,418
Uh, you take your downhill ski,
or is it your uphill ski?

171
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,520
No, you take
your downhill ski

172
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,190
and you put it over
your uphill ski

173
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,893
like that. Okay? Yeah.

174
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,128
I remember this move
because my brothers and sisters

175
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,964
used to use it
to step over me.

176
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,031
(CHUCKLES)

177
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,101
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

178
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,270
Cousin, do-do
you really think

179
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,506
you can be an expert skier
by tomorrow afternoon?

180
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,408
Well, I'm going to try.

181
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,911
Now, you just take your uphill
ski, put it over the other one

182
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,346
and you're home free.

183
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:14,648
Oh!
Oh!

184
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,421
All right, all right,
Balki, you're right.

185
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,090
Who was I trying to kid.

186
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,225
I can't even ski
in my own living room.

187
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,895
This isn't going to work.

188
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,698
But, cousin, I'm sorry
to say this, but I'm glad.

189
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:31,965
Now, you can make
a new beginning

190
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,801
and tell
Jennifer the truth.

191
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,136
The truth? The truth?

192
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:38,405
Who said anything
about the truth?

193
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,240
I just need a better plan.

194
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,175
(GRUNTING)

195
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:46,479
(LARRY PANTING)

196
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,915
How about this?

197
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,019
As soon as we get
up there, I'll insist

198
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,254
we go for one run
before the lifts close.

199
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,124
Then after about 100 yards,
I'll fall in a soft spot

200
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,992
fake an injury and spend
the rest of the weekend

201
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,560
getting sympathy from Jennifer.

202
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,129
Listen to yourself.

203
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,931
You want to tell one more lie

204
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,400
to cover up another.

205
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,802
By the time it get to the bottom

206
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,705
it's one humongous
snowball of lies!

207
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,274
What happened to the pit?

208
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,209
Where do you think
the snowball lands?

209
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:22,249
Now, you think
everything is so simple.

210
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,251
You think everything
is black and white.

211
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,019
Well, it's not.

212
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:29,389
There is a lot of gray
in this world. A lot.

213
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,726
I'm simply

214
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,895
reshaping the facts
into a greater truth.

215
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,597
Cousin, why you
have to do that?

216
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,432
Why you have to
reshape the facts?

217
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,104
Balki, where have you been?

218
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,506
I have been Larry Appleton
for the past six months

219
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,909
and Jennifer isn't
interested in him.

220
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,044
That's because she
never sees him.

221
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,782
After she's blinded by love

222
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:57,217
then I will show her
the real Larry Appleton.

223
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,219
But tomorrow, all
Jennifer is going to see

224
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,388
is Larry Appleton
downhill racer.

225
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,823
Oh...

226
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,058
(GRUNTS)

227
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,016
(PANTING)

228
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,683
That ski lift was fun.

229
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,554
Wasn't it?
Yeah.

230
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:37,024
You don't think anybody saw
me fall when I got off, do you?

231
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,861
Well, of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.

232
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,097
Those people were laughing
about something else.

233
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,398
Now...

234
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,668
I-I'm sorry about
skiing over your hand.

235
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,303
Uh, oh, don't
worry about it.

236
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,272
I'm used to it.

237
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:56,276
All right, now
there's a good spot.

238
00:12:56,343 --> 00:13:00,247
in that soft pile of
snow and fake an injury.

239
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,249
The pit deepens.

240
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,987
All right, here come
the girls. Try to look cool.

241
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,794
What are you guys
doin' over here?

242
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,796
Trying to look cool.

243
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,600
I'm just a sucker
for fresh powder.

244
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:24,104
But the run is over there,
this side isn't even marked.

245
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,306
Oh.
Looks too steep for me.

246
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,876
Come on, take
a bite outta life.

247
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,211
No guts, no glory.

248
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,680
Ye-e-eah!

249
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,884
(LARRY SCREAMING)

250
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,489
Cousin, I think you
missed your soft spot!

251
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,391
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, ho, ho!

252
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,559
Help! Help!

253
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,229
(SCREAMING)

254
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,298
Boy, he really likes
to show off, doesn't he?

255
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,667
No, he's screaming for help.

256
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,769
Help! Oh, no! Oh, no!

257
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,105
(LARRY SCREAMING)

258
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,539
No, no!

259
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:02,609
(SCREAMING)

260
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,848
(GRUNTS)

261
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:11,018
Hang on, Larry, we're coming!

262
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,553
Here we come!
Wait for me. Wait.

263
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,522
We're on our way, Larr.

264
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,890
Hang on.

265
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,425
Wait, you wait.

266
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:20,793
Whoo, oh...

267
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,563
(MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY)

268
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,966
Whoo! Oh! Oh, baby.

269
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,868
I'm skiing!

270
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,403
Whoo!

271
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,206
(SCREAMING)

272
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,945
Cousin, are we
having fun or what?

273
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,127
Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?

274
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:56,896
Oh, thank God.

275
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,031
We finally found a place

276
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,033
to get in out of the cold.

277
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,944
And then we'll make
our way down the hill

278
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,879
and see if we can
find the highway.

279
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,648
We've been walking for
two hours, I'm exhausted.

280
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:20,053
Well, I'll say one thing for us.

281
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,555
I think we all achieved
oneness with the snow.

282
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:28,361
And you, you achieved
oneness with that tree, huh?

283
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,966
Do I have any more pine needles
sticking out of my forehead?

284
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,468
No.

285
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,041
at 60 miles per hour.

286
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,875
Oh, poor thing.
Sit down.

287
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,344
You must be
really shaken up.

288
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:47,580
No, I'm fine.
Uh, except for my ankle.

289
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,183
I think I twisted it.

290
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,885
Oh, no, I'm so sorry.

291
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,354
Well, it's getting dark.

292
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,423
I think we better
stay here for the night.

293
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,425
I-I don't think I can
walk on this ankle.

294
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,564
Hey, look, I found a blanket
and a bottle of wine.

295
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,167
You two get out
of your wet coats.

296
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,036
I saw some firewood outside.

297
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,103
Come on, Mary Anne.

298
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,272
Well, I'll open that.

299
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,542
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)

300
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:26,119
Well, well, well.

301
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,756
Mr. Liar-Liar-Pants-On-Fire.

302
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,495
I hope you're happy.
Yes, very happy.

303
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,199
How can you say that?

304
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,234
We slide down the wrong
side of the mountain

305
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,336
wander around for two hours

306
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,439
bodies all aching
and racked with pain,

307
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,041
and now, we're
stuck in this cabin

308
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,776
with the girls
for the whole night.

309
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,717
You don't have
to thank me now.

310
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,922
Looks like fate has put us
right where we wanted to be.

311
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,691
Cousin, no! Not faith.

312
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,959
It's your lies
that put us here.

313
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,229
Fate, lies, what's
the difference?

314
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,532
My plan is working.

315
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:17,337
Cousin, don't you
see what's happening?

316
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:21,074
"Going wrong?"
Balki, look around.

317
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,110
I have wine,
a beautiful woman

318
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,977
a mountain cabin.

319
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,080
I guess this puts
an end once and for all

320
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,649
to the great
Myposian pit theory.

321
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,720
Well, maybe things
look good now

322
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,422
but you mark my words

323
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,591
it ain't over 'til
the fat lady eats.

324
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,674
It was the Giant Slalom
Finals at Innsbruck.

325
00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:01,414
It came down to a duel
between Ingmar and myself.

326
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,752
We stared across at each
other with a fierce respect

327
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,020
born out of years
of intense competition.

328
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,656
It's getting deeper

329
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,226
and deeper.

330
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,329
Anyway, by the first turn

331
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,930
I was already
a split second ahead

332
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,600
but then fate stepped in.

333
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,035
A few meters in front
of me, frozen in fear

334
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,037
was a snowshoe rabbit.

335
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,106
Poor little rabbit.
What did you do?

336
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,276
Well, I lost the race.

337
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,678
How tragic.

338
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,081
Not really.

339
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,650
I grew up a lot on
the mountain that day.

340
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,522
You see, I could have
skied right through

341
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,791
that furry little creature

342
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,859
but I learned that
there are a lot of things

343
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,761
more important than winning.

344
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,563
Is the truth one of them?

345
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,169
Anyway, my racing
days are in the past.

346
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,871
I like to live
in the present.

347
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,673
There's so much I
don't know about you.

348
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,476
Hmm, you can say that
again, and that reminds me

349
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,214
I have a story.
It's called...

350
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,649
(SPEAKING IN MYPOSIAN)

351
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:13,720
What does that mean?

352
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,756
It means the little
goat herder who lied.

353
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,127
Well, I think the girls
are a little tired of stories.

354
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:22,362
Not at all.
Go ahead, Balki.

355
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,564
Once upon a time

356
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,434
there was
a little goat herder

357
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,337
and he had curly brown hair

358
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:34,274
and, uh, little round cheeks

359
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,443
and, uh, no upper lip at all.

360
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:40,680
Balki.

361
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,316
It came to pass
that the king

362
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,452
announced a royal yak hunt.

363
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,087
Well, that was a wonderful

364
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:49,556
little folktale.
More wine, anyone?

365
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,191
It was the day of the hunt

366
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,526
and the little goat herder

367
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,528
decided to show off
for the fair maiden.

368
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,598
So he shot
an arrow into the air

369
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,301
and where it landed
he didn't care.

370
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,805
But he should have,
because it hit the king

371
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:08,508
right smack in
the royal buttocks.

372
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,446
And they all lived
happily ever after?

373
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,682
The king was
exceeding angry

374
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:19,018
and he threw the little
goat herder into a dungeon.

375
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,788
A dungeon not unlike a pit.

376
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,560
I think I saw that on TV.

377
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,764
Wasn't Richard Chamberlain
the little goat herder?

378
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,506
Ah, those Mypos tales.

379
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,274
Who knows what they mean?

380
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,809
And who cares?

381
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,379
Well, this is the last log.
Hmm.

382
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,817
Well, you know, the best
way to fight off the cold

383
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,486
is with, uh, body heat.

384
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,288
That's a great
last resort

385
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:56,856
but we have a fire.

386
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,157
Uh, I'll just get
some more wood.

387
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,360
Oh, no, no, no,
you stay here.

388
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,829
I'll go get it.
Uh. That's a man's job.

389
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,499
How's that ankle?

390
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:09,336
Oh, huh. Well, comes and goes.

391
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,003
Changes legs too.

392
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,075
Are you sure you
don't need any help?

393
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,845
Oh, no, no, I'll just go
rustle up some firewood.

394
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:22,248
(CHUCKLES)
Love to breath that
fresh mountain air.

395
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,416
(WIND WHOOSHING)

396
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,917
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

397
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,052
(COUGHING)

398
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:29,822
Good Lord, it's cold out here.

399
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:38,865
I'm getting hungry.

400
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,934
I'm really sorry that
we ruined your ski trip.

401
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,804
Oh, that's okay,
I'm having fun.

402
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:55,748
Well, it's a good thing
I brought my body.

403
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,458
(RUMBLING)

404
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,866
Wow!

405
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,171
Did you feel that?
Well, of course, I did.

406
00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:21,073
Don't be ridiculous.

407
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,912
I still respect you.

408
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,316
I think we just
had an earthquake.

409
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:32,184
They don't have
earthquakes in Wisconsin.

410
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,386
It was probably
just an avalanche.

411
00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:34,721
Hmm.

412
00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:38,491
Cousin Larry!

413
00:23:04,651 --> 00:23:06,152
I found the wood.

414
00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:15,995
Get him to the couch.

415
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,998
(MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY)

416
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,969
(GROANING)

417
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:26,172
Oh, Larry, are you okay?

418
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,642
I was outside. I was happy.

419
00:23:30,677 --> 00:23:32,812
I found the perfect log.

420
00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:34,881
And suddenly I heard this...
This-this...

421
00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:36,749
Rumbling?
Yes, this rumbling.

422
00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:39,819
And I turned around
and saw this big, this big...

423
00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:42,822
Mountain?
Yes, mountain!

424
00:23:42,889 --> 00:23:45,892
The mountain started chasing
me towards the-the-the...

425
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,093
Pit?

426
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:55,167
No, not the pit.

427
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:57,436
Where we are now,
the cabin!

428
00:23:57,504 --> 00:23:59,539
I never saw so much snow!

429
00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:01,774
There was enough snow
to cover this entire...

430
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:07,446
(PANTING)

431
00:24:19,158 --> 00:24:20,893
(WHIMPERING)

432
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,963
Oh, cousin,
we're buried alive.

433
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:25,865
Not for long.

434
00:24:25,932 --> 00:24:27,700
Very soon
we'll all be dead.