1
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,688
Well, hello, darlings.
Here I am.

2
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,057
Well, come on down.

3
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,895
Who is that?
That's Olivia Crawford.

4
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,831
The editor of
The Sunday Magazine.

5
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,901
Miss Crawford,
I have always
wanted to meet you.

6
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,903
Well, of course
you have.

7
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,172
And you are?
Larry Appleton.

8
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,774
Ah, exactly the person
I've come to see.

9
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:44,445
This paper has
a rather tiresome policy
of asking new people

10
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,447
to write something for
The Sunday Magazine.

11
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:50,017
And you,
I understand, are new.

12
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,120
The Sunday Magazine?

13
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:55,956
I love
The Sunday Magazine.

14
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,759
Well, excellent,
why don't you come up
with a couple of ideas

15
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:03,997
and we'll see
if something
is suitable.

16
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,733
It's a dream come true.

17
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,402
I... I'm sorry,
I don't mean
to gush.

18
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:14,575
Miss Crawford,
here's your mail.

19
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:16,677
Uh, that's Olivia,
darling.

20
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,580
Oh, well, if you're
Olivia Darling, this is
not your mail.

21
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,183
No, darling.

22
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,185
I am Olivia Crawford.

23
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,220
And you are a delight.

24
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,856
Well, actually,
I'm a Mypiot.

25
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,359
What's your name,
dear?

26
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,726
Balki Bartokomous.

27
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,129
Ah, from the
Mediterranean, right?

28
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:39,333
Well, actually, you go
to the Mediterranean
and then turn left.

29
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,002
Well, of course you do.

30
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:46,274
With a face like that,
you can turn
any way you want.

31
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,941
Welcome to
The Chronicle, darling.

32
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,243
Thank you.

33
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:53,781
Balki, this is great.

34
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:57,017
I'm gonna write
an article for
The Sunday Magazine section.

35
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,118
Do you know
what that means?

36
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,620
No, I don't.

37
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,756
I'll tell you
what that means.

38
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,358
It means I get a byline,

39
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,327
it means people
will take notice.

40
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:09,096
That means
I'm on my way
to the big time.

41
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,365
The big time?
The big time.

42
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:16,270
Well, uh, why would you
want to leave your job
and join the circus?

43
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,374
That's the big top.

44
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:37,191
Yes, yes!

45
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,693
Whoo, I am good.

46
00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:43,831
Did you finally
beat yourself
at tic

47
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:44,932
LARRY: No.

48
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,099
No. No.

49
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,735
I came up with a title

50
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,970
for my article for
The Sunday Magazine section.

51
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,072
It's about how
a lot of neighborhoods
in this town

52
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,807
are losing
their ethnic character.

53
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,108
What do you think?

54
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,911
"Is Chicago Disappearing?"

55
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,618
Well, I... I don't know.

56
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,323
When you work
in a basement,
you miss so much.

57
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:17,598
OLIVIA:
Yes, would you
move along, please?

58
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:23,637
Harriette, from now on,
I prefer to travel alone.

59
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,774
That makes
two of us, baby.

60
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:31,111
Well, now, Larry,
how's your
article coming?

61
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:34,915
Great. I think
I finally came up
with a title.

62
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:39,219
"Is..."
Oh, for heaven's sakes,

63
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:42,290
Larry, would you be
a dear and run up
and get them for me?

64
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:44,992
My keys?

65
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,364
Sure, uh,

66
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,566
I'll run this
by you later?

67
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,734
Of course.

68
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,580
Hello, Balki.
Hello, Miss Crawford.

69
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,949
My, my, my,
how very easily

70
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:12,119
you lift those
big heavy bags
onto the table.

71
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,220
I'm impressed.

72
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,022
Oh, go on with you.

73
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,733
No, no,
Balki, really.
I mean it.

74
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:29,737
Where did you get
such marvelous muscles?

75
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,005
Well, lifting sheep,
I suppose.

76
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,445
Ah, yes, of course,
you were a sheepherder
back on Mypos.

77
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,712
Weren't you?
Yes.

78
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,281
Ah, that must have
been so peaceful.

79
00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:43,384
Oh, yes, yes.

80
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,319
Sitting on
the hillsides,

81
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,855
listening to the goat
bells in the distance

82
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,358
watching Papa's sheep
eat the grass.

83
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,961
They have four stomachs,
you know?

84
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,829
And one of them
stomachs goes bad,

85
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:59,066
everything just backs up
and backs up...

86
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,471
Yes, thank you, darling.
Very vivid.

87
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,574
But you're so very far
from home, Balki.

88
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,410
Don't you get homesick
sometimes?

89
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:12,846
Yes sometimes, but I bring
some things with me
that remind me of home.

90
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,748
I have Dimitri,
of course.

91
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,684
He's my stuffed sheep.

92
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,319
And I have a beautiful
tapestry that my sister...

93
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,621
You don't mean it.

94
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,656
What an extraordinary
coincidence.

95
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,959
I just happen to
have a rather extensive
collection myself.

96
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,095
Get out of this city.

97
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,802
You collect
stuffed sheep, too?

98
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:39,373
No, tapestries,
darling.

99
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,575
Balki, I have
a wonderful idea.

100
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:44,478
Why don't I come over
and see your tapestry?

101
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,780
I'm going to be right
in your neighborhood
this evening.

102
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:52,820
Well, that would be
wonderful.

103
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:57,057
535 Wilson,
apartment 207.

104
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,626
It's a brick building.

105
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,161
Are you going to be
driving yourself?

106
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,295
Yes.

107
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,397
Then I'll save you
15 minutes.

108
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,433
Now, don't go up Halsted.

109
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,568
There's construction
on Halsted.

110
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,202
Wait, wait,
I have to
turn nyself around.

111
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,572
Okay. Uh, don't, uh...

112
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:23,150
Uh, you don't want
to go up Halsted, you...

113
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:39,366
Uh, uh, you want
to go parallel
to Halsted

114
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,468
Miss Crawford.

115
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,970
Call me Olivia.

116
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,582
I should be there
about 7:00.

117
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,317
Oh, would you look
at that?

118
00:06:57,384 --> 00:07:00,588
I had my keys
the whole time.

119
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:04,424
See you later,
dear boy.

120
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,911
I'm sorry,
Miss Crawford.

121
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,113
I couldn't
find the, uh...

122
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,049
I... I couldn't
find your, uh...

123
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,692
Did Miss Crawford
leave?

124
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,562
Yes.

125
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,132
Did she find her keys?

126
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,834
Oh, yes.

127
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,671
Are you feeling okay?

128
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,239
Oh, no.

129
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,709
Balki,
what happened?

130
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,820
When you're alone
with a woman

131
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,389
and she say that
she wants to come over
to your house

132
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,091
to see your tapestry,

133
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:19,066
Well,

134
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:25,973
Okay.

135
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,543
What about if you're
alone with a woman

136
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,879
and she kiss you so hard

137
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:35,082
that your eyeballs
roll back up
into your head?

138
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,120
That means
what you think it means.

139
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,824
Now who's the girl?

140
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,697
No.

141
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,801
Olivia.

142
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,638
Olivia Crawford?

143
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,707
No, Olivia Newton-John.

144
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,045
Of course,
Olivia Crawford.

145
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,647
Ha-ha-ha.

146
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:10,150
Balki, I don't mean
to hurt your feelings.

147
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,384
But you're going to.

148
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,686
But...

149
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,926
and you are just
a lowly, little mail boy.

150
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,795
Come on. Let's go home.

151
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,632
People like her
don't get involved

152
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,434
with people like us.

153
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,903
Well, be that
as that may be,

154
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,841
but she's
coming over tonight.

155
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,845
She is?
Yes, she is.

156
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,980
Why?

157
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,315
She say she wants
to see my tapestry.

158
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,618
What should I do?

159
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,789
Well, what if she
wants to see more?

160
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,161
Balki, I'm sure
this is nothing.

161
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:57,931
Even if it were,
you can take care
of yourself.

162
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,300
I mean, you've been
with women before.

163
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,007
I... I mean, on Mypos.

164
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:10,177
I'm sure the milkmaids
were all over you.

165
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,545
You probably had to beat
them off with a crook.

166
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,348
Am I right

167
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:17,751
Huh?

168
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,361
Aren't you?

169
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,170
If it will make you
feel better,

170
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,040
I'll stay home
with you tonight.

171
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,975
Thank you, cousin.
All right.

172
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,286
What should I do?

173
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:07,067
Oh, Larry.
Hello, Miss Crawford.

174
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:10,103
Hello, Larry.
I... I wasn't
expecting you here.

175
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,906
I live here.
Balki and I are cousins.

176
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,178
Hello, Miss Crawford.

177
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,312
Hello, Balki.

178
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:23,250
Won't you come in?

179
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,952
for cocktails
15 minutes ago.

180
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,387
I wonder if you
would mind terribly

181
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,757
if I just took
a quick look
at the tapestry

182
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,725
and then hit the road?

183
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,429
I would have
run it down
to your car.

184
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,766
I'll go get it.

185
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:43,070
Balki, I think
Miss Crawford

186
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,438
just wants to look
at the tapestry.

187
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,374
Color me embarrassed.

188
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:54,281
I have so much
to learn about
American women.

189
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,083
Reams.

190
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,086
Look, if I leave
right now,

191
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,388
I can till get
some research
done at the library.

192
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,523
Can I go?
Yes, yes, cousin.

193
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,994
And thank you,
thank you for showing me
how wrong I was.

194
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,496
Hey, it's why
I'm here.

195
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:17,104
Well, I'm sorry
I can't stay,
Miss Crawford.

196
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,039
Oh! Aw...

197
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,443
I hear the editor
of the Sunday Magazine

198
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,946
is tough on people
who don't
make their deadlines.

199
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:29,116
Hmm, they tell me
she's hell on wheels.

200
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,818
Well, don't just
stand there grinning.

201
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,752
Get out there
and get me a story.

202
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,811
Cousin Larry
should go easy
on the cheap cologne.

203
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:04,317
Here it is.

204
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,019
Do you like it?
Oh, yes!

205
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,754
Oh, I'm so glad.

206
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,090
This is a very, very
special tapestry.

207
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:14,761
It show the entire history
of the island of Mypos.

208
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:18,265
For instance,
this represents
Ferdinand Mypos

209
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,367
discovering that
Mypos is an island.

210
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,374
Yes, he made
the discovery

211
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,409
while he was trying
to walk to Italy.

212
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,680
And this over here,

213
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:37,050
this represents
the great tomato famine.

214
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:42,155
Thousands and thousands
of tomatoes died.

215
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,225
Fascinating.

216
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:48,896
Listen, Miss Crawford,
I... I just want to tell you

217
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,630
I have to get something
off my chest.

218
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,132
What, Balki?

219
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,300
I...

220
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,802
Well, when...

221
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,571
When you kissed me,

222
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,874
I thought
for just a second

223
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,076
that maybe it wasn't
a "Hello, Balki,

224
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,078
"how are you today" kiss,

225
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:09,016
I thought it might
have been a whatever,

226
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,618
"Hi, sailor, new in town?"
kind of a kiss.

227
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:19,159
Well, of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.

228
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,395
Well, tell me, um...

229
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,298
What do you
feel like now?

230
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:29,036
Well, I feel perfect
comfortable just like
I'm at home with Mama.

231
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,343
Well, I'm very
glad, Balki,

232
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:39,579
because I certainly
wouldn't want you
to be afraid of me.

233
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,549
You see,
it's very rare

234
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,785
for the person such yourself
comes into one's life.

235
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:49,889
A complete innocent,
pure and unsullied.

236
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:53,026
A blank page
upon which someone,

237
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:56,163
perhaps someone
like myself,

238
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,999
can write a tale
of searing passion.

239
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,636
Aw. No...

240
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,681
Mama never did that.

241
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,551
Miss Crawford?
Yes?

242
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,355
Miss Crawford,
Miss Crawford.

243
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,457
I... I don't approve
of this.
Oh.

244
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:28,428
You see, you see,
I... I come from...

245
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,531
From a country
 where
people believe that...

246
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,633
That they should
get married
before they do

247
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,503
some of the things
that you and I
have already done.

248
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,672
Oh, ah!

249
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,621
I forgot my library card.

250
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:55,989
Oh!

251
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,731
What's going on here?

252
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,007
Are you blind?

253
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,380
Don't you have
someplace to go?

254
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,250
No, he doesn't.
Cousin...

255
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,692
Well, this doesn't seem
like a very good time.

256
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,162
Oh, if I hurry,
I can still make
it to the mayor's.

257
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:38,431
Now, Balki, why don't
we continue this

258
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,467
some other time
in some other place,

259
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,436
someplace where
we can have
a little privacy.

260
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:47,840
What do you say to
Mickey's Hideaway,
Tuesday evening?

261
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,409
Mickey's Hideaway?

262
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:57,317
Isn't that
the adult motel

263
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,751
I've seen the ads.

264
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,989
Miss Crawford...

265
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,857
I don't want to hurt
your feelings,

266
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:08,495
but I'm busy Tuesday nights
for the rest of my life.

267
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:14,301
Balki, let me try
and say this in a way

268
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,403
which even you
will understand.

269
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,373
I am Olivia Crawford.

270
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,111
I am an extremely
powerful woman
at The Chronicle.

271
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:27,114
And, "Goodbye, Olivia,"

272
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,250
means,
"Hello, unemployment."

273
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,721
You can't get away
with this.

274
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,824
You'd be surprised
what I can get away with.

275
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:40,760
Ciao.

276
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,063
Goodbye, Olivia.

277
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,503
Hello, unemployment.

278
00:17:52,972 --> 00:18:00,480
Don't you worry, buddy.

279
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,881
Well, you know
what I mean.

280
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,894
Cousin, do you think
we're doing
the right thing?

281
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,596
Yes. We're doing
the right thing.

282
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:19,799
She can't get away
with sexual harassment.

283
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,768
I don't want you
to lose your job.

284
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,937
Balki, we've built
a very strong case here.

285
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,941
Frank Cublic from Classified
lost his job because of her.

286
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,278
So did Tommy Dugan
in security

287
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,880
and Jeff Maxwell
on the loading dock.

288
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,915
This lady has got
to be stopped.

289
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,750
And this is the
right way to do it.

290
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,489
When do you think
Olivia will hit the fan?

291
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,397
Any minute now.

292
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,733
Look out, baby.

293
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,838
What do you call this?

294
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,608
It's a copy of
a complaint I sent to
the managing editor.

295
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,177
We're charging you
with sexual harassment.

296
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,280
You're bluffing.

297
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:12,819
I carried it up to him
in my very own
muscular arms.

298
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,689
Well,

299
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,459
it's not going
to work, you know.

300
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,495
Oh, Olivia,
I'm glad you're here.

301
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:30,437
You make some
very damaging
allegations in here.

302
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,104
Everything I wrote
is true.

303
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,574
I even have
photocopies of the
registration cards

304
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,075
from Mickey's Hideaway.

305
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,511
Miss Crawford
has a suite
named after her.

306
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,817
And if you
don't believe him,

307
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,520
you can dust my body
for her fingerprints.

308
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,292
I don't think
that'll be necessary.

309
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,594
Olivia, what do you
have to say about this?

310
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:04,737
I mean, look at him!

311
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:08,275
Three people say
they lost their jobs
because of you.

312
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:11,043
Well, Jack, Jack, Jack.

313
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:14,581
When people get fired,
they've got to
blame somebody.

314
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,983
Now, these kids,
whom I scarcely know,

315
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,251
are trying
to slander me.

316
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,553
God knows what
I ever did to them.

317
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,457
Olivia, give me
a little credit.

318
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,192
I'm a newspaper man.

319
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:28,261
I checked
Appleton's sources.

320
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,896
And they confirm
the rumors

321
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,064
I've been hearing
about you for years.

322
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,768
Now, I'd like to
give you the
opportunity to resign.

323
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:39,472
Oh, I have
no intention
of resigning.

324
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:42,409
I was hoping
you would say that.

325
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,845
That way I can say this.
"You're fired."

326
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:53,986
That felt good.

327
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:59,091
What do I need
with this two-bit
paper, anyway?

328
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:02,995
I think it's time
I took a bite
out of the Big Apple.

329
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,734
No way, lady.
Employees only.

330
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,376
Oh, that does
feel good.

331
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,847
You two should feel
proud of yourselves.

332
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,449
Lot of people wouldn't
have had the guts

333
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,250
to blow the whistle
on her.

334
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:26,653
Weren't you afraid
of losing your jobs?

335
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,955
We decided we'd rather
not work for a newspaper

336
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:31,991
that would fire
its employees
for telling the truth.

337
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:33,960
How about that?

338
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:37,029
I have Woodward
and Bernstein
in my basement.

339
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,399
Not bad.

340
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:44,771
Well, Balki,

341
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:45,872
Oh, cousin...

342
00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:50,577
I... I'm sorry that
helping me means you don't
get an article

343
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,944
in The Sunday Magazine.

344
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,448
You're right.

345
00:21:56,416 --> 00:22:01,888
I won't.

346
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:05,392
And the future woman
of my dreams
thanks you, too,

347
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:07,927
because thanks to you,

348
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,962
she'll be able
to spend her
wedding night

349
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:11,564
the way it was
meant to be,

350
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:15,034
with a husband
who has
absolutely no idea

351
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:16,436
of what he's doing.