1 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:02,736 (NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME NOW PLAYING) 2 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,214 * Sometimes the world looks perfect 3 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,317 * Nothin' to rearrange 4 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,286 * Sometimes you just 5 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,354 * Get a feelin' like you need 6 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,556 * Some kind of change 7 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:27,428 * No matter what the odds are this time 8 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,930 * Nothing's gonna stand in my way 9 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:33,234 * This flame in my heart like a long lost friend 10 00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,438 * Gives every dark street a light at the end 11 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:41,409 * Standing tall 12 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:45,045 * On the wings of my dreams 13 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:48,082 * Rise and fall 14 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,819 * On the wings of my dreams 15 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,621 * The rain and thunder 16 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,055 * The wind and haze 17 00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,126 * I'm bound for better days 18 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,762 * And my dream 19 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,333 * And nothing's gonna stop me now * 20 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,684 Cousin, hold on to your pants! 21 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,787 And fasten your neck brace 22 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,757 because I'm gonna show you something 23 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:33,127 that's gonna make your head spin like Linda Blair. 24 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,899 Look. 25 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,501 New watch? 26 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:41,802 No, uh-uh... 27 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:42,936 More than a new watch. 28 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,438 It's a, it's a Rolex! 29 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,807 With, with solid quartz crystal 30 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,342 and genuine Swiss movements 31 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,978 and if you look at it in a certain light, 32 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,180 you can see 33 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,681 up your nose. 34 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,657 Balki, Rolexes are very expensive. 35 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,827 Well, I guess I really stepped in something good this time. 36 00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,299 Yeah, let me look at it. No, no. 37 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,366 Come, on, let me see your new watch. 38 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,634 No, no. I don't think so. 39 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,171 Well, why not? 40 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,407 Well, why look at my watch, 41 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,243 when you can look at your own watch! 42 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,278 Yes, Cousin Larry Appleton! 43 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,280 Your very own watch! 44 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,083 Tell us about it, Balki. 45 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,986 Well, Balki, it's a Rolex 46 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:36,457 with solid quartz crystal and genuine Swiss movement, 47 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,360 automatic day and date display. 48 00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,362 Promotional consideration by Bartokomous of Mypos. 49 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,435 Back to you, cousin. 50 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,940 Well, this is a Rolex, all right. 51 00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:54,742 Well... 52 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,777 Oh. 53 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,512 The stem came off. 54 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,385 And the crystal. 55 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,258 And the back. 56 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:12,760 Is this a kit? 57 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,197 Where'd you buy this? 58 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,466 From Leon. 59 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,503 Leon 60 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,339 Leon. The human discount department store. 61 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,979 All of the merchandise, none of the parking problem. 62 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,585 And I bet he gave you a good deal, right? 63 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,320 Well, you can say that again. 64 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:42,456 He let me have it for $38.95. 65 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,859 Balki... 66 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,261 Leon is a crook. 67 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,029 These watches are counterfeit. 68 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,097 You've been ripped off. 69 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,300 Wait a minute. 70 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,539 And that these watches are counterfeit? 71 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,408 And that I've been ripped off? 72 00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:03,711 Yes. 73 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,746 What's your point? 74 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,717 My point is, first thing tomorrow morning 75 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:13,621 we are going down to the police and tell them about this Leon. 76 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,556 You didn't buy anymore watches from him, did you? 77 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:19,126 Well, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. 78 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:22,463 I just bought Mary Anne this priceless pearl necklace. 79 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,667 Leon said it used to belong to Elvis Presley. 80 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,848 LARRY: Going to the police department was a complete waste of time. 81 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,918 Let me guess. 82 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,587 You're upset. 83 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:47,988 We're more than upset. 84 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,991 We're...really upset. 85 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,763 What's wrong? 86 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,931 I'll tell you what's wrong. 87 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:58,999 Tell her, cousin. 88 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,474 A scam artist sold Balki two phony watches 89 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,376 and a necklace of no value whatsoever, 90 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,010 so we went to the police and, quite frankly, 91 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,879 they were no help at all. 92 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,748 They said, "Don't call us, we'll call us." 93 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,185 The police department is incompetent, 94 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,521 inefficient, and stinks on ice. 95 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:26,594 I wasn't finished. 96 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,197 They're also overworked, underpaid, 97 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,665 and unappreciated. 98 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,102 Don't kiss up, baby. 99 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,707 Can't your husband help us? 100 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,743 Well, he could, but he's in Homicide. 101 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,978 Well, when he gets back, can't he give us a call? 102 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,751 No, uh, you see, honey, 103 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,386 Homicide isn't a place. 104 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:53,654 It's, uh... 105 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,390 I'll give him the message. 106 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,834 Well, nothing to be done. 107 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:10,604 I guess Princess Di is cast. 108 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,909 No use crying over spilt curd. 109 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,880 It's just not right. 110 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,815 Hoodlums operating out in the open, 111 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,250 taking advantage of the little people. 112 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:30,591 I know. 113 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,626 Wait a minute. 114 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,361 What am I thinking of? 115 00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,163 Is it a number between one and ten? 116 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,669 Good guess, but no. 117 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,771 Twelve? No. 118 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,305 Uh, is it bigger than a head cheese? 119 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,340 All right, Balki. 120 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:51,612 Just let me tell you what I'm thinking. 121 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,514 in the city, and we're wondering what to do 122 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,516 about a measly scam artist? 123 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,887 That's what you were thinking? 124 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,889 How is a person supposed to guess that? 125 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,860 Balki, I'm a reporter. We can expose Leon. 126 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,729 We can infiltrate the whole operation. 127 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,931 We can put those guys out of business. 128 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,735 Let me get this straight. 129 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,971 You and I, two complete amateurs, 130 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,407 are going to go down and fool people 131 00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,810 who make their living fooling people? 132 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,646 Right. 133 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,047 I don't think so. 134 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,117 Come on, Balki. We have certain advantages. 135 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:34,955 We have the element of surprise. 136 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,024 I know what I'm doing. I've already figured out a plan. 137 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,092 You introduce me to Leon as a big time player 138 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,460 a mover and a shaker. 139 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,065 but we only want to deal with the boss. 140 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,201 Bruce Springsteen is involved in this? 141 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,242 Not "The Boss." Leon's boss. 142 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,978 His supplier. We'll set up a meeting in a couple of days. 143 00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,813 That'll give us time to get the newspaper involved. 144 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,348 They'll give us marked money. 145 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,518 We'll make the buy and blow their operation wide open. 146 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,557 It'll be just like 147 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,191 Miami Vice. 148 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,664 You and me, undercover. 149 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,269 Can I be Don Johnson? 150 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,541 Sure. 151 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,942 You got it. 152 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,236 Balki? 153 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,604 Aren't you taking this Miami Vice thing 154 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,305 a little too far? 155 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,176 Now, wait just a minute. 156 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,879 Isn't that a bit like 157 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,748 Pa Kettle calling Ma Kettle black? 158 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,060 Balki, this is my disguise. 159 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,128 I'm pretending to be a tough guy. 160 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,098 Well, if Leon buys that, 161 00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,967 he'd buy some of his own watches. 162 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,237 Watch this. 163 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,646 Que pasa, bro? What's happening? 164 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,947 Where's the action? 165 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,653 First day undercover? 166 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,669 All right, I'll lose the accent. 167 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,372 You call that an accent? 168 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,847 BALKI: Look, cousin, there he is. There's Leon. 169 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,350 Let's go. 170 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,830 Excuse me, Mr. Leon. Uh, we, we want to talk... 171 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,732 Hey, hey, hey. 172 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,967 No refunds, man. No way. 173 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,602 Oh, no. I don't want a refund. You don't? 174 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,740 No, I want to introduce you to my friend, Cousin Larry. 175 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,407 He's a big-time player. 176 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,876 He's a mover and a shaker. 177 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,279 And, uh... and, um... 178 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,648 Wait, wait, wait. Balki. 179 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,316 I want to buy a lot of watches. 180 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,952 I can move them on the west side. 181 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,419 We're talking big bucks here. 182 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,687 How big? 183 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,456 Uh... 184 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,493 Three, four Gs. 185 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,895 Three, four Gs? 186 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,930 That's chump change! 187 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,232 Three, four Gs. Ha! 188 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,403 Try five Gs. Balki. 189 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,872 Try ten Gs. Balki. 190 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,874 Try 15 Gs. Balki. 191 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,842 Question, what's a G? 192 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,813 It's a thousand dollars. 193 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,948 Gee. 194 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:59,519 You sure you guys can get this kind of money? 195 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,587 We're sure. 196 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,889 There's one condition. 197 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,191 We only deal with the top man. 198 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,496 You can? 199 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,066 Uh... 200 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,268 Friday night good for everybody? 201 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,039 Tonight! 202 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:20,908 Midnight. 203 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,810 Right here. 204 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,644 Midnight? That only gives us an hour and a half. 205 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,113 Oh, out of the question. 206 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,515 How about Thursday morning over pancakes? 207 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,118 How about midnight? 208 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,887 My thought exactly. Cousin? 209 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,957 Good. I'm gonna go set it up. 210 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,658 Don't you guys try and pull anything funny, 211 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,527 or we'll hurt you. 212 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,862 And you'll never get well. 213 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,449 I'm ready to go, cousin. 214 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,683 Is this okay? 215 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,751 Fine. 216 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,420 Balki, 217 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:11,391 in your coat pocket. 218 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,226 The recorder will be hidden in your pocket. 219 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,429 When I say, "Let's make a deal," 220 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,397 you turn it on. 221 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,000 When I say, "Let's make a deal." 222 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,002 Can you remember that? Well, of course I can. 223 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,937 Don't be ridiculous. 224 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,438 Here's the tape. 225 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,043 "Motown's Biggest Pop Hits"? 226 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:34,915 Are you sure you want to record over The Supremes? 227 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,549 Yes, I do. 228 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,919 Now, Balki, we're supposed to meet these guys 229 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,053 in half an hour. 230 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,321 The money's ready. 231 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,822 Let's get going. 232 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,625 Okay, cousin, um, before we go... 233 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:46,826 I think I ought to point out 234 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,596 one small but significant flaw 235 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,498 in your otherwise brilliant plan. 236 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,902 Um... 237 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,537 Somebody... I'm not naming names. 238 00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:01,374 ...forgot to put The President's face on this. 239 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,879 Blank green paper. 240 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,652 on the top of each stack of paper. 241 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,622 So that it looks like there's $15,000 242 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,224 in the briefcase. 243 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,630 Of course, they'll want to see the money. 244 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,901 But I will only let them look, not touch. 245 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,172 I will open the briefcase, like so... 246 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:35,708 Then I'll quickly close the briefcase, like so. 247 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,378 They will have seen the money, 248 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,848 Therefore, they will believe that there is $15,000 249 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,951 in fact in the briefcase. 250 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,218 Now can we go? Question. 251 00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:49,656 What? 252 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,224 After you open the briefcase 253 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,892 aren't they going to grab the money? 254 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,196 Oh, I see. 255 00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,333 You think they can grab the money 256 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,935 before I can close the briefcase. 257 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,303 That is correct. 258 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:07,807 Try it. Hmm? 259 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,109 Try it. 260 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,313 You wanna grab the money 261 00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:48,181 Okay, smart guy, you got a better idea? 262 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,617 Well, of course I do. Don't be ridiculous. 263 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:51,851 Oh I do. 264 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,954 You do? I do. 265 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:58,258 But I'm sure there is one. 266 00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,892 would have thought of it long ago. 267 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,194 Now, can we leave? 268 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:02,595 We have hoodlums waiting. 269 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:17,510 Wow, I've never been here this late. 270 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,746 I can't believe how quiet it is. 271 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,514 Yeah. 272 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,317 Too quiet. 273 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,023 Hello! 274 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,126 Will you stop it? 275 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,664 Well, I'm sorry. 276 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,402 Look, just stay cool. 277 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,637 When Leon gets here, 278 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,639 all we have to do is make the deal. 279 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,041 What are you doing? What are you doing? 280 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,342 I'm turning on the tape recorder. 281 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,211 You gave me the signal. No. Not yet. 282 00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,946 The signal is, "Let's make a deal." 283 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,348 Let's. 284 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:58,017 Oh. Okay, okay, I got it. 285 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:02,589 Now, just stay calm. 286 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,425 Yo! Oh. 287 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,493 Leon. 288 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,998 Okay, boys, let's make a deal. 289 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,066 No! Not yet! What? 290 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,135 No. Yes. Yes, Leon. 291 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,237 We told you. 292 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:19,506 We only deal with the boss. 293 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,443 The boss. 294 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,611 Mr. Big. 295 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,213 The top banana man. 296 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,148 The headless honcho. The guy... 297 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,483 He's got it. Okay. 298 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,352 You'll see him as soon as I see the money. 299 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,720 No dice. 300 00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,356 We only show this money to one guy. 301 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,725 Right, Balki? Right, baby. One guy. 302 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,561 The Kingpin. 303 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,431 The Godfather. 304 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,734 The big cheese wiz. 305 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,637 The guy... He's got it. 306 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:51,704 Okay, okay. 307 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:54,641 Don't move. 308 00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,245 Cousin, it's working. 309 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,446 Of course, it's working. 310 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,648 We're dealing with mental midgets. 311 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,423 These mental midgets have gigantic bodies. 312 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,661 This is Fat Jack. 313 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,330 Okay. 314 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,533 Let's make a deal. 315 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,769 Okay by me. This ain't no social call. 316 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,508 I said, let's make a deal. 317 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:33,146 Hey, I heard you. I'm pathological, not deaf. 318 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,386 Let's make a deal. 319 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:41,921 Fine by me, cousin. 320 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,523 I wanna get the heck out of here. 321 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,296 Excuse us. 322 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,632 Turn on the tape recorder! 323 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,202 Turn on the tape recorder! 324 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,439 Oh. Oh, oh, yes. 325 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,152 So, uh, you're the big player, huh? 326 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,022 Yes, he's the big player 327 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,257 You. Yes? 328 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,192 Shut up! Okay. 329 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,593 You, let's see the money. 330 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,795 The money? 331 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,598 You mean the $15,000 332 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,768 I'm giving you for the counterfeit watches? 333 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:32,339 The watches that you sell on the black carpet? 334 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,377 Ow! Who are these clowns? 335 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,745 Hey, they said they had the money. 336 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,332 Hey, open that up. 337 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,767 Oh, it's locked. 338 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,235 And, oh, darn, 339 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,003 I forgot the combination. 340 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,205 Yeah, well, maybe I can remember it for you. 341 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:12,745 Oh... 342 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,213 Goodness gracious. 343 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,515 That's just paper. 344 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,819 You guys are dead meat. 345 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,689 Hold it right there. 346 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,592 I'm packin' a heater. 347 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,031 A heater? 348 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,099 A rod. What? 349 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,667 A piece. Hmm? 350 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:36,936 A gun. 351 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,306 Oh. A gun. Right. 352 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,708 All right, everybody, up against the wall. 353 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,075 Move it! 354 00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:45,111 You're bluffin'. 355 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,714 Don't tempt me. 356 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,821 I've got a scratchy trigger finger. 357 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,429 * Baby love, my baby love 358 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,663 * I need your love 359 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,665 * Oh, how I need your love... * 360 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,503 Hey, what was that? 361 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,339 Uh, Ain't No Mountain High Enough? 362 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,643 No. Sounded more like, uh, Love Child. 363 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,412 What's wrong with you people? That's Baby Love. 364 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,015 You guys ought to brush up on your Motown. 365 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:26,453 Let's get them. 366 00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:30,122 911. 367 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,190 911. 368 00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,258 911. 369 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:33,593 911. 370 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:34,694 911. 371 00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,038 Well, now you've done it. 372 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,209 You're going to have to answer 373 00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,711 to the phone company. 374 00:21:58,284 --> 00:22:01,788 You know something? 375 00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,256 Hold it right there! Police. 376 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,459 You're all under arrest. 377 00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:11,398 Up against the wall. It's the police. 378 00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:14,434 Boy, are we glad to see you. 379 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,969 Larry Appleton, Chicago Chronicle. 380 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,771 Cousin, it's the police. 381 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:21,708 And you said that they were incompetent and inefficient. 382 00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:22,775 And... 383 00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,013 Uh, and that they stink on ice. 384 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,116 You said that? 385 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,120 Well, I meant it in the nicest possible way. 386 00:22:35,422 --> 00:22:36,623 Up against a wall. 387 00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:46,466 "In a predawn undercover operation, 388 00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,501 "Balki Bartokomous, arrested three men 389 00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,403 "and seized a large quantity of counterfeit watches 390 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,271 "and other bogus jewelry." 391 00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:53,806 Balki, they gave me a byline. 392 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,842 Yes, and they put your name on it. 393 00:22:57,477 --> 00:23:00,580 So, cousin, all's well that ends. 394 00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,083 Well. 395 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,419 Well what? 396 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:09,255 "All's well that ends well." 397 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:11,824 I just said that. No. 398 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,693 I'm trying to pay you a compliment. 399 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,394 You gonna be one heck of a reporter 400 00:23:15,462 --> 00:23:18,598 if you live long enough. 401 00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:20,199 We make a good team, don't we? 402 00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:22,802 You can say that again. 403 00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:23,670 Really? 404 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,005 I love Woodward and Bernstein. 405 00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,273 Which one am I? 406 00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:29,075 Joanne Woodward or Leonard Bernstein?