1
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:13,381
* Sometimes the world
looks perfect

2
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:19,353
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling

3
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:22,590
* Like you need
some kind of change

4
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,563
* Nothing's gonna stand
in my way

5
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,966
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend

6
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,271
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end

7
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:41,075
* Standing tall

8
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:45,079
* On the wings of my dream

9
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,948
* Rise and fall

10
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:51,752
* On the wings of my dream

11
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,354
* The rain and thunder

12
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,022
* The wind and haze

13
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,591
* I'm bound for better days

14
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:05,299
* And nothing's gonna
stop me now *

15
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,644
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

16
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,557
Balki.
Yeah?

17
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,226
Which tie do you think
goes best with this shirt?

18
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:35,396
I think this one.

19
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,539
That one's also nice.

20
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,209
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

21
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:52,746
Hi, guys!
Oh, hi!

22
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,350
Hi.

23
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,651
and we need a little favor.

24
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,454
Name it.

25
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,356
He's gonna put on that
new shower head we bought.

26
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:05,159
Hey, consider it done.

27
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:08,196
Here's the plumber's
phone number.

28
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,830
Don't worry.

29
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,632
I'll handle everything.

30
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:16,537
Well, thanks, guys. We've got
to run. There's a cab waiting.

31
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,439
Bye-bye.

32
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,377
I'll call the plumber.

33
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,380
(PHONE PAD CLACKING)

34
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,454
Yes, I'm calling on behalf
of Ms. Jennifer Lyons.

35
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,262
No, I'm going
to be doing it myself.

36
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:46,534
No, you can't invite
all your friends over to watch.

37
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,672
Jerk.

38
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,643
Uh... cousin, I...

39
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:59,247
I'm sure I'm wrong, but I could
have sworn that I heard

40
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,848
you call and cancel the plumber.

41
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,450
I did.
I see.

42
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:06,787
Well... I'm very
sure I'm wrong

43
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:10,358
but I could have sworn that
I heard you tell the plumber

44
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,893
that you were going to put on
the shower head yourself.

45
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,695
I am.
I see.

46
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,931
Well, in that case,

47
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,468
may I invite my friends
over to watch?

48
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,005
Because when it comes
to plumbing

49
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,275
you don't know Bo Diddley.

50
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,679
Balki, this has nothing
to do with plumbing.

51
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,949
Jennifer wasn't asking me
to call a plumber.

52
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:39,953
She was asking me
to come to her rescue.

53
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:43,291
I could've sworn
she asked you
to call a plumber.

54
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:47,995
Those were her words,
but her eyes was saying,
"Help me."

55
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,303
No, I think her
eyes were saying,

56
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,605
"Call the plumber."

57
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:03,243
Balki, Balki, Balki.

58
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,348
It's what women do.

59
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:09,883
They pretend to be helpless

60
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,820
so their man
can come to the rescue.

61
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:24,031
has handled it,

62
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,299
Hmm?

63
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,935
Huh? Huh?

64
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,706
Ooh, ho, ho, ho!
Ooh, ho, ho, ho!

65
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,445
(LAUGHING)

66
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,583
Are we still talking
about plumbing?

67
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,855
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

68
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,890
(GRUNTING)

69
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,176
Cousin.

70
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,278
Can I offer you anything?

71
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,982
A tool, a ladder,
a can of WD-40?

72
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,788
I'm fine. I'm doing fine.

73
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,090
Eh...

74
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,998
this in the spirit
in which it's given

75
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,200
but as far as I can see,

76
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:11,572
you seem to have absolutely
no idea what you are doing.

77
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,043
What are you talking about?

78
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,912
I think you are doing it
completely wrong.

79
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,714
Oh, you do?
Yes, I do.

80
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,524
Balki, how many showers
are there on Mypos?

81
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,627
None. It's an island.

82
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,866
And how many shower heads
have you replaced?

83
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,133
Well, I--
How many?

84
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,201
I--
How many?

85
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,972
How many shower heads?

86
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,840
None.
None, as in zero?

87
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,643
As in never, ever have you
replaced a shower head?

88
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:53,514
That is correct.
I see.

89
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:56,484
showers for over
a quarter of a century,

90
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,021
that I am doing it wrong?

91
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,556
That is correct.

92
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,993
Well, perhaps you'd like
to tell me the right way.

93
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,462
Yes, I would.
Would you?

94
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:12,299
What is the right way?
I don't know.

95
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:15,969
But I just know
you're doing it
the wrong way.

96
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,540
Cousin, what did
the directions say?

97
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,879
I threw them out.

98
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,781
My father has made it
through his whole life

99
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,784
without ever reading
a set of directions.

100
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:34,688
He once rewired
the entire house
without directions.

101
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,890
Isn't that the house
that burned to the ground?

102
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,095
They never proved
it was the wiring.

103
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,367
Now, are you going
to be a friend

104
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:51,038
or you're going to stand
there and insult my family?

105
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,810
Of course. All right,
what you want me to do?

106
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,746
Just help me with this.

107
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,515
Here.

108
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,057
That's a hammer.

109
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,159
Very good.

110
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,665
the hammer referred
to as the plumber's helper.

111
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,569
It was in my house.

112
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,638
Now... here.

113
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,143
I'll hold the wrench.

114
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,444
You've got the hammer.

115
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,647
When I nod my head,
you hit it.

116
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,720
Come again?

117
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,224
When I nod my head, you hit it.

118
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:48,361
I can't do that.

119
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,764
I'll hold the wrench.
You've got the hammer.

120
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:54,034
When I nod my head,
you hit it! You hit it!

121
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,273
Now, do you understand?
Yes.

122
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,675
All right.

123
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,913
Ready?
Yes.

124
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,717
(SOBBING)

125
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,189
Wait!

126
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,632
What are you doing?

127
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:30,638
You said that
when you nod your head,
I'm supposed to hit it.

128
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,673
The wrench!

129
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,107
Hit the wrench!

130
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,652
I'll do it myself.

131
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,657
Good, because
I'm emotionally drained.

132
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,324
(SOBBING)

133
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,992
The pipe broke, huh?

134
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,730
Yes, it did.

135
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,107
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

136
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:50,050
LARRY: You see? Balki,
we did it.

137
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,621
All it took was good old
American ingenuity

138
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:55,956
a little dedication...

139
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,926
And 23 straight hours
of hard work.

140
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,797
Oh, cousin,
this place looks like

141
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,133
the Ty-D-Bol Man
went berserk.

142
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:20,714
A few cans of spackle

143
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:24,852
Boy, this spackle
must be amazing stuff.

144
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,121
Yes, it is.

145
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,860
Now, what do you say
we button this job up?

146
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,228
Jennifer and Mary Anne
will be back tonight.

147
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,371
Cousin, where does this go?

148
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,258
Trash.

149
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,201
Well, I think we're ready
to test this baby.

150
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,099
It's broken.

151
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,434
No.

152
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:53,106
(GROANING)

153
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,922
Well, do something!

154
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,928
Ahh!

155
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,540
Don't look at me!

156
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,378
Find the cut-off valve!

157
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,280
I think it's
underneath the sink!

158
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,814
Then turn it off!

159
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:37,017
Well, I--
Turn it off!

160
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:38,418
Cousin, I can't.

161
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,087
My fingers are stuck.

162
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,654
Go on without me, cousin.

163
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,290
Save yourself.

164
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,293
Aah! Ah-ah!

165
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,896
Cousin.

166
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,098
(GRUNTING)

167
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,530
(PANTING)

168
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,345
Well.

169
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,583
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

170
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,057
BALKI: Cousin, what if the
shower head comes off again?

171
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,392
Everything is fine.

172
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,895
Believe me,
when Jennifer gets here

173
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:58,465
and starts gushing
with gratitude,

174
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,600
it will all be worth it,

175
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,902
to me, anyway.

176
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:08,108
If you're interested,

177
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:11,511
No, cousin. I want you
to have all the credit.

178
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:14,982
Suit yourself.

179
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,483
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

180
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:17,985
That's the girls.

181
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,187
Feel free to take notes.

182
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,464
Hi, guys.
Hi.

183
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,433
We brought some
wine from Paris.

184
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,368
It's imported.

185
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:40,307
But, uh, this is
a California wine.

186
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,582
I tried to tell her.

187
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,522
That shower massage
felt great after a long flight.

188
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,431
It wasn't the plumber
who eased

189
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,466
those sore,
aching muscles, Jennifer.

190
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,735
I replaced
the shower head myself.

191
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:10,837
Oh.

192
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,572
Well, whatever.

193
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,283
No need to take notes.

194
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,987
The woman just
got off a plane.

195
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,357
Give her a chance
to adjust to the time zone

196
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,392
and the girl will gush
with gratitude.

197
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:41,034
Uh, you know,
Jennifer...

198
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,137
it felt good getting my hands
on the old monkey wrench again.

199
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,674
I forgot how much
I enjoyed it.

200
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,678
Well, I'm happy
for you, Larry.

201
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,049
Listen, I hope we didn't
make too much

202
00:16:56,116 --> 00:17:04,924
of a mess up
in your bathroom.

203
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,094
Oh, you...
You'd be surprised.

204
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:12,465
What Balki means is that even
the simplest of home repairs

205
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,867
can be tough, if someone
doesn't know what he's doing.

206
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,137
Take it from Cousin Larry.
Ha ha!

207
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,708
Well, it must give you a real
sense of security knowing

208
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:25,378
there is a man around
in case there's a crisis.

209
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,580
Or in case you want a crisis.

210
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,553
Balki?
BALKI: Yes?

211
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,189
Don't you think
you should pour the wine?

212
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,257
Good idea, cousin.

213
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,459
Better me than you.

214
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,295
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

215
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,167
You know, it's weird.

216
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:53,773
I could have sworn when we left

217
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,576
Well, sometimes, uh,
even the simplest thing

218
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:59,346
like a new shower head
can change

219
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:03,116
the whole look of a bathroom.

220
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:07,387
JENNIFER: It looks great.
Of course, now I do have
to buy new towels.

221
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,956
LARRY: If there's anything
else you need done
around the apartment

222
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,392
uh, feel free to call on me.

223
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,594
Cousin.

224
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,364
LARRY: You know, I've always
been good with my hands.

225
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,532
My dad taught me
all about home repair.

226
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,837
my dad rewired
our entire house

227
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,006
without a set of directions?

228
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,542
Uh... cousin.
LARRY: The man was a genius.

229
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,547
Um...

230
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,250
Oh.

231
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,219
Thank you.

232
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,454
There you go, Mary Anne.

233
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,522
And...

234
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,198
Ooh.

235
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,476
Lovely rose.

236
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:07,514
Funny, it wasn't rose
when I bought it.

237
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:14,153
We seem to have sprung
a little leak.

238
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,588
Oh, my goodness.

239
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,357
Oh, all right, uh...
Don't-don't worry.

240
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,759
No need to panic.

241
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,695
Well, shouldn't we call
the landlord?

242
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,334
(WATER DRIPPING)

243
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:29,769
(DRIPPING STOPS)

244
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,774
Whatever it was, it stopped.

245
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,676
Now, come on.

246
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:41,514
Let's not let a leaky roof
ruin a beautiful evening.

247
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:48,255
Remember, into every life,
a little rain must fall.

248
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:56,963
(WATER DRIPPING)

249
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,873
Isn't our bathroom
right up there?

250
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:12,245
(WATER DRIPPING CONTINUES)

251
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:38,738
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

252
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:47,480
Well, that depends on what you
plumbers consider an emergency.

253
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,817
Did you see
The Poseidon Adventure?

254
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,256
Larry, I still
don't understand

255
00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,426
why you tried
to fix it yourself.

256
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:02,295
I thought
that's what you wanted.

257
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,464
I just wanted you
to call the plumber.

258
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,467
It seemed so simple.

259
00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:13,640
Cousin,
the plumber's on his way.

260
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,843
He said have your
checkbook ready,

261
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:20,947
plus any CDs
that might have matured.

262
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:28,821
Come on, Jennifer. We better
go upstairs and wait for him.

263
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,056
Bye.

264
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,791
Bye.
Bye-bye.

265
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:43,102
Balki, why...

266
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:45,004
Why do I do this?

267
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:47,740
I mean, why didn't I just

268
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,076
call the plumber
in the first place?

269
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,311
Well, cousin, you know--
Or after the pipe broke.

270
00:21:52,379 --> 00:21:54,046
Well--
Why didn't I realize it?

271
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:56,983
Well, because--
Or after the toilet exploded?

272
00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,687
I mean, what does it take?

273
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:03,055
What is the matter?
What is wrong with me?

274
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:05,892
Well, cousin, you know,
part of the problem
is you tend

275
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,094
to ask questions and then
not wait for the answers.

276
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:15,134
Balki, how did I
let things go so far?

277
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:19,572
Well, you know, cousin,
you sometimes get an idea

278
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:21,874
in your head, and then you
just won't let it go.

279
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:24,877
You remind me of this dog
I used to know on Mypos.

280
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:29,416
He was always chasing
his tail and then

281
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:32,485
one day he caught it and

282
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,587
spun himself to death.

283
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,794
It wasn't a pretty sight.

284
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:50,069
Well, I guess I do get

285
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,872
carried away sometimes.

286
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:59,045
I just thought that-that
if I could do it myself,

287
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,313
Jennifer would be impressed.

288
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,915
Cousin, listen.

289
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:06,653
Jennifer likes you
for what you are,

290
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:09,121
and you want her to like you
for what you are not.

291
00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:13,793
Well, I figured if she thought
I was a macho,

292
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:16,529
handy, take-charge
kind of guy

293
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:19,198
she'd like me even more.

294
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:24,336
Cousin, listen to me.

295
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,005
She wants you.

296
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:32,011
(THEME MUSIC)