1
00:00:04,766 --> 00:00:07,700
[David Pomeranz performing
"Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now"]

2
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♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

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00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,633
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

4
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♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
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♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

6
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♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪

7
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♪ Nothing's gonna stand
in my way ♪

8
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♪ This flame in my heart ♪

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♪ Like a long lost friend ♪

10
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♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

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♪ Standing tall ♪

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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

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♪ Rise and fall ♪

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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

15
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♪ Through the rain and thunder,
the wind and haze ♪

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♪ I'm bound for better days ♪

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♪ It's my life ♪

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♪ My dream ♪

19
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♪ And nothing's
gonna stop me now ♪

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[instrumental music]

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Bartokomous.

22
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Where do you think
you're going?

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Well, uh..

24
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...since it's quitting time,
I was thinking

25
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I was going outside
to Cousin Larry's car

26
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because sometimes‐‐

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Bartokomous.

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You can't fool me.

29
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You are not going anywhere
until you compile

30
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that new office directory.

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I guess that means you'll be
working late tonight.

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Well, no because..

33
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...I already finish it.

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‐ What..
‐ Look.

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Each employee..

36
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Each employee
is alphabetized

37
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and indexed and cross‐referenced
according to blood type.

38
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And look..

39
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...if anybody needs
blood type O

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this little baby tell them
where to go.

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Keep smiling, Bartokomous.

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Your days here
are numbered.

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Oh, Mr. Gorpley.

44
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I'm so flattered you would
take the time to count them.

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It makes me feel
kind of special.

46
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Oh, you're special alright.

47
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Balki, I won.

48
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I won.
The winning was done by me.

49
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I was the one who won.

50
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I won. I won, ha‐ha.

51
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I won the lottery.

52
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The lottery?
Oh.

53
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Miss Lydia. Blow my mind,
why don't you?

54
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What's the lottery?

55
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Uh, let me take this one.

56
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[clearing throat]

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Sugar, the lottery is a game
run by the state

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to raise money
for the schools.

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Now, you see, you pick six
numbers

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00:03:09,066 --> 00:03:12,666
and if it's the right six,
you could win $28 million.

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Miss Lydia.

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You won $28 million?

63
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Actually, I won $100.

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Five minutes ago, it seemed
like a lot of money.

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Well, another edition put to bed

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and once again I had absolutely
nothing to do with it.

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Cousin

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do you know anything
about the lottery?

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Oh, sure, Balki.

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The lottery is a scam
run by the state

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to take advantage of people
who didn't show up

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when they were
passing out brains.

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Right, Lydia?

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Drop dead, Larry.

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Thanks a lot.

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Now I've got to listen
to her whine

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all the way to the fifth floor.

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[yelling]
I cannot believe
that he said that to me..

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Did I miss something?

80
00:04:07,433 --> 00:04:09,733
Miss Lydia won
a $100 in the lottery.

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00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,066
Oh, shoot.

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Cousin..

83
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...I want play the lottery

84
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No. You can't play
the lottery.

85
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‐ I want play the lottery.
‐ No, Balki.

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The chances of winning
the lottery are astronomical.

87
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Well, if it's good enough
for our space program

88
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it's good enough for me.

89
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No, no. Balki, Balki.

90
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You got a better chance
of getting hit by a car.

91
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Well, sure I do but..

92
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...who wants to buy
a ticket for that?

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No, Balki.

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You're not playing
the lottery.

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'No, Balki.'

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Balki. Balki..

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♪ If I were a rich man ♪

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[humming]

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♪ If I were a wealthy man.. ♪

100
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I can't believe..

101
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...that after
everything I said

102
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you still bought
a lottery ticket.

103
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I can't believe you give
me the dollar.

104
00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,066
No, I didn't give you
the dollar

105
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,233
I lent you the dollar
and I want it back.

106
00:05:16,266 --> 00:05:17,500
Okay, cousin.

107
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Here you go.
But first..

108
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...I would like to offer
you the opportunity

109
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to buy half
my lottery ticket.

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No, thanks.

111
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Cousin, after all
you took me in

112
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you gave me shelter,
you feed me, you‐‐

113
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Just give me my dollar
and we'll call it even.

114
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But Cousin

115
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I'm a simple sheepherder

116
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my needs are few.

117
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I don't need $28 million.

118
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I think I could
slide by with 14 million.

119
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I don't want half your ticket,
I don't want any of your ticket

120
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I just want the money you owe me

121
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Balki, look..

122
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:09,100
Let me teach you a little lesson
in economic reality.

123
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Will this be followed by a short
question and answer period?

124
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Just listen.

125
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This is a nice,
crisp dollar bill.

126
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Let me read for just a moment.

127
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"This note is legal tender for
all debts, public and private."

128
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That means I can buy
things with it.

129
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I give this to someone and they
give me things I want.

130
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This, on the other hand

131
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is a totally worthless
piece of paper.

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You cannot buy anything
with this, nothing.

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Zip, zero, zilch.

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No one with an ounce of common
sense would trade this..

135
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...for this.

136
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,033
Unless this..

137
00:06:54,066 --> 00:06:57,200
were worth
28 million of those.

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♪ I wouldn't have to work ♪

139
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,766
[humming]

140
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,633
Hurry up, Balki, it's almost
time for the drawing.

141
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Wouldn't it be great
if one of us actually won?

142
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Oh.

143
00:07:20,266 --> 00:07:21,533
If I won I'd buy the airline.

144
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,033
Then I could make up
the schedule

145
00:07:23,066 --> 00:07:24,533
so I don't have
to work double shifts.

146
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:29,566
You would buy the airline

147
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,166
just so you could change
your schedule?

148
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,800
Well, yes.

149
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,600
And then I'd decrease my
holdings but maintain

150
00:07:35,633 --> 00:07:38,433
a controlling interest, initiate
a three‐for‐one stock split

151
00:07:38,466 --> 00:07:40,466
and roll my money
into high yield junk bonds.

152
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:48,800
What about you, Larry? What
would you do with $28 million?

153
00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:53,433
Sorry, Jennifer, I'm a newspaper
man. My beat is reality.

154
00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:58,700
This is the part where he takes
the fun out of the evening,

155
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,266
Balki, what would you do
if you won the lottery?

156
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,100
Yeah, Balki, after all
you're the one

157
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:06,500
holding the winning ticket.

158
00:08:07,166 --> 00:08:08,433
Well, um

159
00:08:08,466 --> 00:08:10,333
first I would
take a big chunk

160
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,366
and pay off the Myposian
national debt.

161
00:08:13,566 --> 00:08:16,733
Balki, the entire national debt?
How much is that?

162
00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:18,566
$635.

163
00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:24,633
And then after my country
is back on her feet

164
00:08:24,666 --> 00:08:27,633
I would love to do something
for the poor people of Chicago.

165
00:08:27,666 --> 00:08:29,400
I'd love to..

166
00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:31,633
...to give homes
to the homeless

167
00:08:31,666 --> 00:08:35,266
jobs to the jobless,
shifts to the shiftless.

168
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:40,566
Balki, that is so sweet.

169
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,100
Oh, look, they're doing
the drawing.

170
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:43,266
Oh.

171
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:44,666
Balki, where's your ticket?

172
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,766
I hide it away in a safe place

173
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,766
but don't worry, I write
the numbers down right here.

174
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,533
(male announcer on TV)
'Alright, everybody, get your
lottery tickets ready.'

175
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:55,733
Cousin, I can't stand
the suspense.

176
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,300
Please, you check
the numbers for me?

177
00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:58,633
Oh, golly gee, Balki.

178
00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:00,366
You're gonna trust me
with the winning numbers?

179
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,266
Back off, Cousin,
just check the numbers.

180
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:05,333
[drum rolls on TV]

181
00:09:05,366 --> 00:09:06,500
(male announcer on TV)
'Fifteen..'

182
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,566
'...thirty two..'

183
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,566
'...fifty two..'

184
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,400
'...twenty one..'

185
00:09:16,433 --> 00:09:19,100
'...twenty four..'

186
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:21,633
'...and thirty four.'

187
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,200
'Let's go over
those numbers again.'

188
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:30,800
Well, that's it for me.

189
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:33,066
Balki, it's over.
We all lost.

190
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,500
What?

191
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,800
But, but the man at the store
tell me that

192
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:39,366
'he was sure that that I had
the winning numbers.'

193
00:09:41,066 --> 00:09:42,400
(Mary Anne)
'Oh, they say
that to everybody.'

194
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,166
Larry, are you alright?

195
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,266
Balki.

196
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,400
Balki..

197
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:52,466
You've won $28 million.

198
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,066
‐ I won?
‐ You've won.

199
00:09:57,633 --> 00:09:58,733
I won.

200
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,333
[girls cheering]

201
00:10:11,733 --> 00:10:14,700
[instrumental music]

202
00:10:14,733 --> 00:10:16,300
‐ Goodnight.
‐ Bye.

203
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:17,133
You know, Balki

204
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:19,666
$28 million hasn't changed
you at all.

205
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,266
Well, I'm just
a simple sheep herder.

206
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:30,400
Who is rich beyond
my wildest dreams.

207
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:33,400
♪ Da di di di da da da da da ♪
♪ Da di di di da da da da da ♪

208
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,133
♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪
♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪

209
00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:40,566
[both laughing]

210
00:10:42,566 --> 00:10:44,800
I can't believe I won
the giant jackpot.

211
00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:47,700
We're rich, Balki.
We're rich.

212
00:10:47,733 --> 00:10:49,466
[laughing]

213
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,233
Mama will be so proud.

214
00:10:51,266 --> 00:10:53,300
We did it.
We did it.

215
00:10:55,733 --> 00:10:57,466
Cousin, tell me
I'm not dreaming.

216
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,766
Tell me I really won.

217
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,700
You're not dreaming.
We won alright.

218
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,066
Tell me again?

219
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,733
We won.

220
00:11:12,733 --> 00:11:14,000
Question..

221
00:11:17,766 --> 00:11:19,600
How could we win

222
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,500
if I bought
the lottery ticket?

223
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,133
Well, don't get me
wrong, I mean

224
00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:28,233
no one questions
that you bought the ticket.

225
00:11:28,266 --> 00:11:31,033
But let's not forget
that I loaned you the money.

226
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,200
Gave you the capital.

227
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:35,366
Made the initial outlay
for our risky venture.

228
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:41,633
Yes and in gratitude,
I offered you the opportunity

229
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:45,200
to buy one half of what
I correctly claimed

230
00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:48,100
was the winning ticket
but you refused.

231
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,466
And then you made
fun of me

232
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,733
and then you accused me
of throwing my money

233
00:11:52,766 --> 00:11:54,166
down a rat hole.

234
00:11:56,566 --> 00:11:58,100
I've changed my mind
since then.

235
00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:01,666
Oh, Cousin..

236
00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:05,300
...if only life
were that simple.

237
00:12:07,633 --> 00:12:09,133
Uh, uh, Balki, Balki

238
00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:10,233
I'll tell you what.

239
00:12:10,266 --> 00:12:12,433
As a show of faith
I've got twenty bucks

240
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,733
I'll go out,
buy twenty tickets

241
00:12:14,766 --> 00:12:18,100
and whatever I win
we'll split 50‐50.

242
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,300
So, now you
like the lottery?

243
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:22,500
Oh, I do, I do.

244
00:12:24,366 --> 00:12:26,133
That's funny because

245
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:29,266
if memory serves me,
and I think it does.

246
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:32,433
When we were in the store,
I recall you told me

247
00:12:32,466 --> 00:12:35,533
that if I were to look up
the word "Sucker"

248
00:12:35,566 --> 00:12:38,433
in a dictionary,
my picture would be there.

249
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,033
Balki..

250
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:46,133
...please, please, please.

251
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,800
I want to be rich.

252
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,266
[mumbling]

253
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:50,600
Cousin

254
00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:53,000
I'm just playing a game
of cat and louse with you.

255
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:58,166
Of course, I share
my jackpot with you.

256
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,166
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you.

257
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,133
In your face,
Donald Trump.

258
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:04,433
Now..

259
00:13:04,466 --> 00:13:05,633
...where is
the lottery ticket?

260
00:13:07,466 --> 00:13:09,166
‐ I hide it.
‐ Good for you.

261
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,633
Where did you hide it?

262
00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:15,433
Balki.

263
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,400
Do you remember
where you hid it?

264
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:22,600
Not right now.

265
00:13:24,566 --> 00:13:27,366
What do you mean
not right now?

266
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,400
Where is it?

267
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:33,133
Well, I hide it and then
I hide it again so many times

268
00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:36,200
that, that I forget
where I hide it last.

269
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,033
[yelling]
You have got to remember.

270
00:13:39,066 --> 00:13:40,666
Alright, that's alright,
no problem.

271
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:43,166
No problem.
Take your time.

272
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,100
No hurry,
just try to think back.

273
00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:49,566
You put the ticket..

274
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,033
‐ I put the ticket..
‐ You put the ticket..

275
00:13:52,066 --> 00:13:53,333
I put the ticket..

276
00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:58,100
...in my..

277
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:00,133
You put the ticket in your..

278
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,500
Winter coat.

279
00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:06,233
Winter coat.
There.

280
00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:07,266
[exhaling]

281
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:13,566
Spring.

282
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,800
Summer.

283
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,033
Autumn.

284
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,600
‐ Winter.
‐ Oh.

285
00:14:20,766 --> 00:14:22,700
[panting]

286
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,666
‐ The ticket's not there.
‐ It's not there?

287
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,200
Ha, I was sure
I put it in there.

288
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,333
I‐I remember thinking
that I would put it

289
00:14:31,366 --> 00:14:33,600
either in my winter coat

290
00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:36,400
or...in a cereal box.

291
00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:53,333
Ah. Look, cousin.

292
00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:54,633
You found it.
You found it.

293
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,566
What is it?

294
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,566
It's the Captain Power
decoder ring.

295
00:15:05,233 --> 00:15:06,766
Now I have a complete set.

296
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:09,733
Now you don't.

297
00:15:09,766 --> 00:15:11,333
Where is it?

298
00:15:11,366 --> 00:15:13,500
Think. Think.

299
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:14,433
I can't think.

300
00:15:14,466 --> 00:15:17,133
I was up all night.
I don't get any sleep..

301
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:18,300
[mumbling]

302
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,033
Alright, alright,
alright, alright.

303
00:15:20,066 --> 00:15:22,800
Alright, just try
to remember.

304
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,433
Try to remember.

305
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,200
You had the ticket
in your hand.

306
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:28,766
‐ Yes.
‐ You were in the apartment..

307
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,566
‐ I was in the living room.
‐ In the living room..

308
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,600
Alright, and then?

309
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,333
I was watching TV.

310
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,600
Over there.

311
00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,666
And then?

312
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,666
I began to gaze
into the fire.

313
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,300
[muttering]
Alright, okay.

314
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:46,333
And then?

315
00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:50,566
I began to think of home.

316
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,533
And then, and then,
and then?

317
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,400
And then..

318
00:15:58,633 --> 00:16:00,166
...I don't remember.

319
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,166
You don't remember

320
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,033
where you hid
a lottery ticket

321
00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:10,800
worth $28 million?

322
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:12,500
‐ Books.
‐ What about them?

323
00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:14,166
It's hidden behind the books.

324
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:25,733
Wait a minute.

325
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,766
Now that I think about it

326
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,533
It's not behind the books.
It's in one of the books.

327
00:16:30,566 --> 00:16:32,433
Which one? It makes
a difference, you know?

328
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:36,100
‐ Shakespeare.
‐ Shakespeare.

329
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:37,166
Shakespeare, Shakespeare..

330
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,033
‐ Comedies or tragedies?
‐ Sonnets.

331
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,066
Sonnets.

332
00:16:43,266 --> 00:16:44,233
Oh, my God.

333
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:50,633
It's not here.

334
00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:52,133
It's not there?

335
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,133
[yelling]
Where is it?

336
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:02,133
Think. Think.

337
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,533
I can't think.
There's no air to my brain.

338
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,133
Ha, ha, ha.

339
00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:12,333
Oh, that's better.

340
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,500
I must have hidden it underneath
the corner of the carpet.

341
00:17:17,533 --> 00:17:19,533
Impossible. I would've found
it when I vacuumed.

342
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,400
It's not in there.

343
00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:51,666
Alright, alright.

344
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,233
Don't panic.

345
00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:54,666
Alright, it's gotta be
here somewhere.

346
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,566
You take the kitchen.
I'll take the living room.

347
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,100
The kitchen.
The kitchen, the kitchen.

348
00:18:06,533 --> 00:18:08,500
[knock on door]

349
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:10,133
‐ Come in.
‐ Come in.

350
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:15,166
Wow.

351
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,133
You guys got eccentric fast.

352
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,466
Larry, what happened?
Were you robbed?

353
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:24,200
I lost a lottery ticket.

354
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:25,700
[both sobbing]

355
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:30,400
Well, easy come,
easy go.

356
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,266
Well, listen, uh

357
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,033
we have to work a flight
but we'll be back tonight

358
00:18:39,066 --> 00:18:40,500
and we'll just
help you find it.

359
00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:42,333
‐ Thank you.
‐ Thank you.

360
00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:47,066
Oh, Balki. Here's that envelope
you asked me to hold for you.

361
00:19:06,266 --> 00:19:07,266
Cousin

362
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,300
we're multiple
millionaires again.

363
00:19:11,566 --> 00:19:13,433
[both screaming]

364
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,366
Hello, listen.

365
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,700
I think if you just check the
numbers on our lottery ticket

366
00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:34,000
you'll find that we're the
lottery's newest millionaires.

367
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,233
Large bills will be fine.

368
00:19:37,266 --> 00:19:39,500
Yeah. We issue checks
for anything over $100.

369
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:41,200
Well, I guess this
is one check we won't be

370
00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:42,400
cashing at the "Quick Shop."

371
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,133
Yeah, mind if I check
the numbers?

372
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:49,633
We like to do that before we
hand over $28 million.

373
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,233
‐ Oh, of course.
‐ Oh, of course.

374
00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:54,100
15, 15.

375
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:56,400
32, 32.

376
00:19:57,566 --> 00:19:59,066
'52, 52.'

377
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,666
21, 21.

378
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,566
24, 27.

379
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,733
Hold it.

380
00:20:06,766 --> 00:20:08,733
34, 37.

381
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:11,533
N‐no, those aren't
the right numbers.

382
00:20:11,566 --> 00:20:13,733
You know, that same thought
just occurred to me.

383
00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:14,600
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

384
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:16,200
There's something wrong
here, you hear?

385
00:20:16,233 --> 00:20:17,300
Balki has the numbers written

386
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,433
right on this piece of paper.

387
00:20:20,466 --> 00:20:21,533
‐ Yeah, 15
‐ Uh‐huh.

388
00:20:21,566 --> 00:20:25,266
32, 52, 21..

389
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:26,566
Yeah, now, is that a four
or a seven?

390
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,633
‐ Four.
‐ Seven.

391
00:20:27,666 --> 00:20:29,333
What do you mean a seven?

392
00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:31,600
Now, I can see how you might
think that it was a four.

393
00:20:31,633 --> 00:20:33,733
It's got that little line
through the middle.

394
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,100
I also put that
through my "Z's"

395
00:20:36,133 --> 00:20:37,366
so that nobody thinks
they're two's.

396
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,666
Who cares about your "Z's?"

397
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,066
I want our money.

398
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,333
Give me our $28 million.

399
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,333
Sir, this ticket has
the wrong number.

400
00:20:44,366 --> 00:20:45,800
Who cares about this ticket?

401
00:20:45,833 --> 00:20:47,600
Look, look at this paper.

402
00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:50,033
It has got to be worth
at least a million.

403
00:20:50,066 --> 00:20:51,400
Cousin..

404
00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:54,233
Remember, reality
is your beat

405
00:20:54,266 --> 00:20:55,533
and the beat goes on.

406
00:20:56,766 --> 00:20:59,300
Wait, you, you did
match four numbers.

407
00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:00,533
You won $100.

408
00:21:00,566 --> 00:21:02,633
Thank you.
Very nice of you.

409
00:21:02,666 --> 00:21:05,100
‐ Come along, cousin.
‐ I don't want $100.

410
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:07,700
‐ Isn't it nice?
‐ I want $28 million.

411
00:21:18,633 --> 00:21:20,700
That's the story of my life.

412
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:25,600
What made me think
I could win the lottery?

413
00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:31,633
But, cousin.

414
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,533
We did win the lottery.

415
00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:38,666
We picked four numbers
out of six.

416
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:40,433
We won $100.

417
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:41,500
Big deal.

418
00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:43,266
What's a $100?

419
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:46,066
What's a $100?

420
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,666
It's one pair of "Air Jordan"
basketball shoes.

421
00:21:51,566 --> 00:21:54,400
It's twenty trips to the top
of the "Sear's Tower."

422
00:21:58,366 --> 00:22:03,133
It's a four year subscription to
"Sports Illustrated" magazine

423
00:22:03,166 --> 00:22:05,233
which if we order now, includes

424
00:22:05,266 --> 00:22:07,566
the baseball preview
and the swimsuit issue.

425
00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:17,033
Balki.

426
00:22:17,666 --> 00:22:18,700
How do you do it?

427
00:22:19,566 --> 00:22:20,700
Cousin..

428
00:22:20,733 --> 00:22:23,733
...if you just take a little
postcard out of the magazine..

429
00:22:23,766 --> 00:22:26,066
No, no, no.

430
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:27,066
No, no.

431
00:22:28,166 --> 00:22:29,500
I mean

432
00:22:29,533 --> 00:22:33,233
you see the $100 we won

433
00:22:33,266 --> 00:22:34,600
and I see

434
00:22:34,633 --> 00:22:40,066
the $27,999,900

435
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:42,633
we lost.

436
00:22:42,666 --> 00:22:43,866
Well, now, cousin.

437
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:48,266
You're comparing the $28 million
you thought you had yesterday

438
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,400
with the $100
that you do have today.

439
00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:55,433
And I'm comparing the $100
that we do have today

440
00:22:55,466 --> 00:22:58,333
with the $100 we did
not have yesterday.

441
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:08,566
Balki, you're right.

442
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,400
You know, I guess..

443
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:15,066
I see the glass half empty.

444
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,400
And you, you, you..

445
00:23:19,433 --> 00:23:22,366
...always see
the glass half‐full.

446
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,566
Cousin..

447
00:23:30,666 --> 00:23:32,766
...I don't see a glass
at all.

448
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:41,033
[instrumental music]

449
00:23:43,766 --> 00:23:46,600
[theme music]

450
00:24:03,266 --> 00:24:06,200
[music continues]