[David Pomeranz performing "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now"]
♪ Sometimes the world looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just get a feeling ♪
♪ Like you need some kinda change ♪
♪ No matter what the odds are this time ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street a light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Through the rain and thunder ♪
♪ The wind and haze ♪
♪ I'm bound for better days ♪
♪ It's my life and my dream ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna stop me now ♪
[instrumental music]
Electric bill.
Gas bill.
Phone bill.
Balki, there's no stamp on this.
Balki, Larry, something wonderful has happened.
This is the greatest day of my life.
Ms. Lydia, what‐what is it?
Chuck Panama called and he's coming to my party tonight.
Get out of the city!
The Chuck Panama?
The one they named the canal after?
No, Balki, you're thinking of Chuck Suez.
Chuck Panama happens to be one of the hottest
record producers in America today.
I've dreamed of being a singer all my life.
I've even had people tell me I'm a young Barbara Streisand.
If I get a chance to sing for Chuck
my Grammy is just around the corner.
Oh, I would love to meet your grammy!
Is she coming to the party?
No, no. No, no, no!
She, uh, hates parties.
But you could do me an incy‐teensy favor.
I can't get a piano delivered to my apartment tonight
so I thought since you guys are coming to the party
you could pick it up on your way.
Perfect. We were going to ask you if we could bring anything.
We'd love to, but I have a back problem.
If I don't get a chance to sing for Chuck Panama
my life will be meaningless.
I know what you mean.
The only thing worse than a meaningless life
is a bad back.
Oh, Ms. Lydia, I promise you get your piano.
Cousin, don't worry, I'll do all the work.
I always do all the work.
Terrific! Terrific!
Now, here is the receipt for the piano.
Try to be a little bit early
I want to do a sound check.
Thanks!
Now, why did you do that?
I want to go to a party and have fun.
I don't wanna work up a sweat moving a piano.
Now, cousin, that is where Balki
has his thinking cap pulled way down over his ears.
We're not going to bust our buttocks
we're going to rent one of those trucks
with the little elevator on the back.
Your back will be no problem
your underarms will stay nice and dry..
...and because you have helped a friend you'll feel good inside.
What you say?
Alright, alright.
I'll move the piano. But I won't feel good inside.
‐ Yeah. Yes, you will. ‐ No, I won't.
‐ Yes, you will. ‐ No, I won't.
I already have a little pain right here.
[instrumental music]
Okay, bring it on in.
Bring it on in. A little more, a little more, a little more.
Ho, ho, ho. Ho!
Okay, straight over here!
'Straight over here. Keep it comin', keep it comin'.'
'Keep it coming.'
Alright, swing it on in. Swing it on in.
Bring it in, bring it in.
Little more, little more, little more.
Ho!
You thought this was gonna be hard
but it's gonna be just as easy as pushing goats up a hill.
Looks like one of the goats doesn't fit.
Okay, smarty pants!
I just do this, turn it around like this and voila!
Question?
How are we going to get this up to Ms. Lydia's apartment?
Answer. We don't.
Balki, we gave it our best shot, it didn't work.
Guess the world will just have to get along
with one Barbara Streisand.
Cousin, there must be a way!
‐ Uh‐uh! ‐ Yes!
No, Balki, Balki. Hold on, hold on.
Think about what you're thinking.
Two men are going to carry a piano upstairs?
Uh‐uh! No way!
And no.
Cousin, we made a promise.
Oh, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
I didn't promise anybody anything. You promised.
You know, you're right.
I promised. You didn't promise.
Okay, um..
So, you go, go upstairs to the party
and I'll just take care of it.
And‐and, cousin..
...don't worry about me
because I'm in a good place about it.
[grunting]
One.
Wait a minute.
Who moves a piano like that?
Someone who's alone.
Alright, I'll help you.
‐ Oh, thank you, cousin. ‐ Uh!
Now..
What we need first is a plan.
Cousin, nobody enjoys one of your plans
more than I do..
But I was just thinking maybe we could just pick it up and go.
‐ Oh, just pick it up and go? ‐ Just pick it up and go.
Oh, that's what you want to do, Balki, just pick it up and go?
Just pick it up and go.
Oh, Balki, Balki, Balki.
Do you know the most common way people hurt themselves?
Running with sharp sticks in their hands?
No.
Trying to cut their toenails with a bolt cutter?
No!
Sleeping out in the open and letting little bugs crawl
in their ears and make nests and then..
...they start to buzz and buzz
until you think you're gonna go crazy
but you just take a little Q‐Tip and get in there..
No, no, no, Balki, Balki, Balki.
The most common way people hurt themselves
is by lifting heavy objects incorrectly.
‐ Really? ‐ Yes, they do.
Now, the secret to lifting a piano
is to let your legs do all the work.
It's all in the legs.
All in the legs.
‐ All in the legs. ‐ All in the legs.
(both) All in the legs.
‐ I like this. ‐ I thought you would.
Now...on the count of three..
...we will lift..
Other side, other side, other side.
On the count of three we will lift the piano up
one step and set it down.
What we are trying to do is establish a rhythm.
Hey, I got rhythm!
I got music.
I got my pal. Who could ask for anything more?
[laughs]
Ready?
Yes.
All in the legs.
One, two, three. Lift!
[grunting]
One, two, three. Lift!
[instrumental music]
One, two, three. Lift!
What floor is Lydia on?
One, two, three. Lift!
She's on ten.
One, two, three..
Ten!
Somebody broke the rhythm.
[instrumental music]
(Larry) 'One, two, three. Lift!'
Why do I let you talk me into helping other people?
Why do I listen? I could have said no.
I did say no!
Good news, cousin.
We only have ...seven floors to go.
One, two, three. Lift!
'One, two, three. Lift!'
Cousin.
One, two, three. Lift!
[whispers] Cousin.
Balki..
...why aren't we moving?
We are not moving...because the piano is on my foot.
Ooh!
Well, lift it off your foot.
That was my first instinct..
...but you see, the wheel is caught on the carpet.
Alright, alright.
You hang on to the piano.
I'll come up to your end and lift it off your foot.
That would be nice.
Alright, have you got it?
More than you know.
[grunting]
[screaming]
Sorry.
Alright, on the count of three lift the piano and don't let go.
Ready? One, two, three.
[glass shatters]
I said lift and don't let go.
Oh, don't let go!
Don't let go.
‐ So then don't.. ‐ Don't.
Would have been the operative word..
‐ Yes! ‐ In that phrase!
Yes!
Pull! Pull!
What does it look like I'm doing?
Milking a goat?
[panting]
Okay, here's the plan.
We move the piano up to Lydia's
and then you move back to Mypos.
I'm glad you're in a joking mood, you big kidder you!
Now, let's tackle these ivories.
[instrumental music]
(Larry) 'One.'
Two.
Three.
Lift.
[grunting]
One, two, three.
Balki.
[grunting]
No!
We're here!
‐ We made it. ‐ We, we're here.
We made it!
And you thought it was gonna be hard.
I can't believe it.
We brought a piano up ten floors and I didn't hurt my back!
My back is fine!
Okay, Balki, open the door.
Open the door.
That door can't be locked.
[sobbing] No, no, no, no!
[sobbing]
Cousin..
...don't do that.
It's gonna be okay. You know why?
We just, we just gonna go downstairs
and we just take the elevator up
and I bet you can open it from the other side.
Okay.
‐ Okay? ‐ Okay.
Okay. Okay.
It's just I'm missing the whole party.
I know.
And I'm all sweaty.
I know.
And I got a blister.
And your pants are ripped.
My pants are ripped?
Yeah, I was going to tell you earlier but then I thought..
...he might lose his mind.
My pants are ripped?
I love these pants.
These are my good pants!
These pants make me look taller!
Guess I should have waited.
I hate that stupid piano!
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!
Ow!
Oh. Oh!
My back! I hurt my back.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ow! Oh!
Are you finished?
‐ Yes! ‐ Okay.
Would you like me to help you downstairs?
Yes, please.
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
Uh!
Don't worry, cousin.
You hurt yourself doing something good
for somebody else.
God will smile on you.
That's what I did this for? A smile?
Now, cousin, if there's one thing
that this simple Mypiot knows
that is, that if you do something good for other people
good things are bound to happen to you.
[clanging]
What was that?
Could be anything.
[clanging]
Or it could be the piano rolling down the stairs.
[clanging]
It appears to be following us.
Cousin, did Steven King ever write anything about the piano?
There's got to be a logical explanation.
Pianos don't follow people.
Maybe the floors are uneven.
[clanging]
Or maybe it's alive!
[screaming]
Faster! Faster!
Perhaps you'd like to get off and wait for the next Mypiot.
[clanging]
What are you doing?
You forgot your jacket.
Forget the jacket.
[screaming]
[glass shatters]
[clanging]
Well!
I had no idea a piano had so many parts.
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
Oh, you take my breath away, you wild man you!
So, um, Chuck, do you like my singing?
(Chuck) 'Why don't we discuss it tomorrow night at my hotel?'
Ooh! Ooh!
Until then..
Ciao, baby.
Ciao!
Ms. Lydia.
Oh, Balki! Larry! I didn't see you at the party.
Did I invite you to the party?
Lydia, we were moving your piano.
Oh, that. Funny thing.
I didn't need that piano after all.
I used a background tape. It had a full orchestra.
It just supported my voice so much better than
that dinky little piano.
Did you hear that, Balki?
She didn't need the piano.
Well, that's, that's fortunate, Ms. Lydia
because the piano now bears a striking resemblance
to a pile of Lincoln Logs.
Oh, who cares about that silly old piano?
Chuck likes me!
He really likes me!
And you wanna know why he really likes me?
Because..
♪ People ♪
♪ People who need people ♪
♪ Are the luckiest people in the world ♪
♪ With one person ♪
♪ One very special person.. ♪
Cousin, isn't it wonderful the way things worked out?
Wonderful? What is so wonderful?
We killed ourselves taking a piano up ten floors for nothing!
Well, now that's true, but..
...the point is that you helped me to do this
even though it was against your better judgment.
And that makes this evening worth it for you?
Well, yes it does.
Because, cousin, if you were willing
to help me to do this then I know that even if
the world falls in on me I can ask for your help.
Well, Balki, you're probably right.
But just don't ask for the next few days, okay?
There's plenty of time, cousin.
We, we won't have to help Harriette move
into our building until next week.
[theme music]