[David Pomeranz performing "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now"]
♪ Sometimes the world looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just get a feeling ♪
♪ Like you need some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what the odds are this time ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart, And a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street a light at the end. ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Through the rain and thunder ♪
♪ The wind and haze ♪
♪ I'm bound for better days ♪
♪ It's my life and my dream ♪
♪ And nothing's gonna stop me now ♪
[instrumental music]
(Jennifer) 'Okay Mary Anne, say goodbye.'
'We've got to hurry, or you'll miss your plane.'
Good luck.
Good luck on your new job.
Thanks. I'll write every day. I promise.
‐ Okay, bye. ‐ Bye.
Well, Balki, I..
...guess you're feeling a lot of pain right now.
Oh, no, no, cousin.
I mean, she's going away
but that don't change our feelings for one another and..
...she'll stop by when she's in the neighborhood.
Stop by when she's in the neighborhood?
Balki, Mary Anne is moving to London.
I know what you're feeling. I've been there.
You've been to London?
No. No.. Here. Balki, sit down.
I've had a traumatic experience
like the one you're about to have.
When I was in fifth grade
I was in love with Carolyn Smyser.
Every day we'd eat lunch together.
We'd walk home from school holding hands.
And then one day she dropped a bomb on me.
She was a terrorist?
No.
Th‐the bomb, was it a water bomb?
‐ No. ‐ A flea and tick bomb?
Balki, no, no.
Just‐just.. Just listen.
Carolyn's father..
...Carolyn's father bought a..
...cattle ranch in Texas
and she told me she'd write every day
and that she'd spend her summer vacation's in Madison.
And that we'd always be together.
A lip bomb?
Try not to speak..
... until I point to you.
Okay?
Well, for a while, I got a letter from Carolyn every day
and then once a week and then a card at Christmas.
Then...nothing.
That girl I‐I'd loved..
...was gone...forever.
That's the saddest story..
...I've ever heard.
What does that have to do with Mary Anne?
It's the same thing.
Mary Anne's new life will be filled with..
...with glamour and excitement.
Well, she'll be..
...too tired to write.
She'll forget to call.
She won't have time to visit.
Balki, she means well
but face it, that chick is gone.
Oh, cousin I had no idea I hurt so much
until you pointed it out to me.
Hey..
That's what friends are for.
Balki, it's three o'clock in the morning.
What are you doing?
I'm listening to the refrigerator turn on and off.
Well, that sounds like something worth doing.
Balki, why do‐don't you try and get some sleep.
No, cousin.
We need to go to work in a few hours.
I don't care.
I...It‐it don't matter.
I can't eat. I can't sleep.
I can't do anything except think about..
...except think about... Mary Anne.
You feel like you wanna die, don't you?
Balki..
...if you wanna stop thinking
about Mary Anne, you know what you have to do?
No.
You have to get yourself a hobby.
‐ A hobby? ‐ Yes.
Yes, a hobby. Something new and exciting
to take your mind off her.
I got over Caroline Smyser By taking up photography.
Really?
Yes, I spent so much time taking pictures
that I forgot all about her.
Really?
Yes, I even joined a photography club and met a lot of people.
‐ Really? ‐ Yes.
There must be something that you've always wanted to do.
No, there isn't.
There's got to be one thing
that you've always dreamed of doing.
There is one thing.
Good, what is it?
‐ Sheep vaulting. ‐ Well, there you go.
Sheep vaulting?
Cousin, it is the number one
spectator sport on Mypos.
Stop me if I have told you this before.
I was actually there when Tony Tomopolos
jumped over 37 sheep in one vault.
Unfortunately he was trying for 38.
On Mypos they still use that shot
at the beginning of White Wilder Sports.
They call it, "The thrill of victory
the agony of the sheep."
Sheep vaulting?
Balki, I‐I don't think sheep vaulting
has hit the States yet.
But just look wha‐what talking about a new hobby
has done for you already.
‐ What has it done for me? ‐ It's taking your mind off her.
‐ Who? ‐ Mary Anne.
Sorry.
[instrumental music]
I'm telling you, go ahead.
Ask him where Balki is.
Where's Balki?
He took the day off.
Ask him why?
Why?
As I explained to Harriette
Balki's been very upset ever since Mary Anne moved to London
so I gave him a little advise about how to handle it.
And he's out..
...following my advice.
Now, ask him what the advice was.
I told him if he wanted to take his mind off Mary Anne
he should find a hobby maybe join a club.
I told him to check out coin collecting
model building, historical walks‐‐
Balki's suffering from a broken heart
and you told him to take a historical walk?
Take it from a professional advice columnist, Larry.
Your advice stinks.
I can't believe I'm about to say this
but Lydia's right.
Harriette, oh, thank you.
If Balki doesn't get some help
he's going to end up as crazy as she is.
You just cannot pay me a compliment
and let it drop, can you?
I mean, would it kill you just to be nice?
Nice?
I've got one nerve left and you're leaning on it.
You'll see.
When Balki finds a hobby, he'll be a new man.
[motorcycle engine revving]
[instrumental music]
[motorcycle engine revving]
What did you do?
I joined the club.
What, the Peter Fonda fan club?
No.
The motor psychos.
The motor psychos?
The motor psychos.
"If you're looking for trouble we'll help you find it."
I think they're kind of a public service organization.
Oh, my lord.
You've got a tattoo.
It's not a real tattoo.
It's a loaner.
Cousin, you were right.
Joining a club is just what I needed
to help me to get my mind off of..
...that person I'm trying to get my mind off of.
You should join too. Then we can ride our hogs together.
I don't want to ride a hog.
I don't want to join the club.
I've heard about the motor psychos.
They are awful people.
No, they're not.
The motor psychos are a swell bunch of guys.
I've got an initiation ceremony to get to.
Balki..
...you are not joining that club.
Oh, yes, I am.
Alright, Balki, listen to me.
[engine starting]
[inaudible]
[engine revving]
Hi, Cobra.
Hey, kid, how you doing?
Just fine, thank you.
Sorry about that.
That's okay. I've got another neck.
[laughs] That's great!
Hey, everybody, the funny kid's back.
‐ Hey! ‐ Yeah!
So, Cobra, when is the initiation?
You know the rules.
You can't be a...motor psycho..
...till you get yourself an old lady.
Oh, well, I know that rule.
I stopped at the senior citizens' home on the way here.
But I got to tell you
those old ladies can really put up a fight.
[laughs] Don't worry, kid.
I'll take care of you.
I'll get you one.
Yo, Flame!
(Cobra) 'Flame will be your old lady.'
It's initiation time!
(all) 'Yeah!'
I'll go get the pitbulls.
Oh, thank you very much.
Don't mind if I do.
Grrr!
For an old lady, you are in remarkable shape.
Clean living.
Oh, cousin, you changed your mind
about the motor psychos!
Now we're both going to be members!
Now we're so happy, we do the dance of joy.
Stop it.
No, I have not changed my mind
about the motor psychos.
I came down here to talk some sense into you.
Now, come on. Let's go.
Who's the pocket yuppie?
Oh, this is my cousin, Larry.
Cousin, this is my new friend, Cobra.
It's spelled just like the snake.
Well, it's very nice to meet you, Mr. Cobra.
String tie.
Nice look for you.
Listen, I'd love to stay and chat
but I‐I really just stopped by to get Balki.
So if you'll excuse us‐‐
Hey!
The kid stays.
He makes us laugh.
Well, you know if it's‐if it's laughs you're looking for
I‐I could send you some comedy albums.
Y‐you like Steve Martin?
Robin Williams?
Oh, w‐what about Jay Leno?
He rides a motorcycle.
Jay leno?
Jay Leno's funny.
But..
...he's no Garry Shandling!
I can get Shandling.
You know what I think, pal?
I think you came to the wrong place..
...at the wrong time.
Oh, oh.
What are you doing to my cousin, Larry?
Cousin, I..
It's just a little game we play.
It's called target practice.
Cobra..
...I'm beginning to think there's a dark side to you.
I don't think I wanna be in your club.
That's okay.
You don't have to join
but..
...we're still going to go ahead with the initiation.
Hey! A beer truck just overturned down the street!
'There's free beer for everyone!'
(all) Yeah!
I'll be back.
Balki, Balki, stop!
Let me help you down.
‐ Come on. Okay? Ready? ‐ Yes.
One, two, three, ugh!
Alright, stop.
Unh! Stop.
Unh! Balki, stop it!
Balki.
Reach for that chair.
Balki..
...with your foot.
Reach with your foot. Go on.
Go on.
Go ahead. Reach.
Oh, just.. G‐good. Go ahead. Reach.
Alright, here, let me help you.
Reach.
Reach, reach, reach.
Oh! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Oh. Alright. Pull it over.
Come here. Alright. Good. Good. Good.
Alright. Alright.
Come on.
That‐a‐boy. Okay.
Alright.
Okay. Balki, help me down.
Cousin, cousin, do it for me.
‐ No, no, Balki. ‐ 'Oh, please, cousin.'
Please, please, Mr. Scarecrow..
...which way to the Emerald city?
(both) Some people go that way
and some people go that way.
Of course...people do go both ways.
I love it!
Balki!
Get me down!
Oh, oh, oh.
‐ Oh, oh. ‐ Oh, oh.
Oh!
What's this?
I thought I was riding with kitten lips.
‐ Get 'em. ‐ Alright, hold it!
Don't come any closer!
[glass breaking]
Is that what you were trying to do?
Well, I wasn't going for the head.
No, you were going for this kind of piston movement..
[indistinct chattering]
You know sometimes the label covers
over the part of the bottle..
(both) Yes, that was it.
Let's go.
Cousin, cousin, cousin.
It's initiation time!
(all) Yeah!
Oh, look!
There's Elvis!
‐ Where's Elvis? ‐ I don't see Elvis.
Cousin, I‐I want to..
Hey, get those guys!
‐ Hey! ‐ Yeah!
[both panting]
‐ Are you sure we lost them? ‐ Positive.
Are you sure you didn't tell them where you live?
Positive.
Are you sure you never told them your name?
‐ Positive. ‐ Ah, good.
I think we're safe.
Of course, I did give your name and address as a reference.
You what?
‐ Just kidding. ‐ Oh.
Cousins should joke more.
Balki..
...let me give you a little tip.
Anytime you meet someone
with the word "death"
tattooed anywhere on their body..
...stay away.
Words to live by.
Oh, cousin, I should have listened to you
when you told me not to join the motor psychos.
Well..
...I can understand why you did it.
It's the only thing that kept your mind off Mary Anne.
[sobbing]
Oops.
[crying] I'm never going to get over her.
[knock on door]
Mary Anne!
Do you have to keep mentioning her name?
Balki.
Oh, boy, now I'm hearing her voice.
Balki?
Cousin, I'm halluciginating.
Balki, this is Mary Anne.
Mary Anne.
You came back.
I came back.
Nice outfit.
Mary Anne, why did you come back?
Oh, I had to.
I missed Chicago..
...but most of all, I missed you.
Well, believe me, Mary Anne
Balki missed you, too.
Mary Anne, you are not going to believe
what happened while you were gone.
I can hardly believe it myself.
‐ What? ‐ Cousin Larry saw Elvis.
[theme music]