[David Pomeranz performing "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now"]
♪ Sometimes the world looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just get a feeling ♪
♪ Like you need some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what the odds are this time ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street a light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Through the rain and thunder the wind and haze ♪
♪ I'm bound for better days ♪
♪ It's my life ♪
♪ And my dream ♪
♪ And nothing's gonna stop me now ♪
♪ You can rock it you can roll it ♪
♪ You can slop and you can stroll it at the hop ♪
♪ When the record starts spinnin' ♪
♪ You chalypso when you chicken at the hop ♪
♪ Hop hop hop ♪
♪ Do the dance sensation that is sweepin' the nation ♪
♪ At the hop ♪ ♪ Hop hop hop ♪
‐ Nice hair. ‐ Nice hair.
Hi, guys! A '50s party is a great idea.
‐ Thank you. ‐ Thank you.
[knock on door]
‐ Hi! ‐ Hi, Mary Anne.
Hi!
I'm sorry we're late.
I couldn't decide what outfit to wear.
Well, uh, Mary Anne I could be wrong
but that outfit doesn't look
like something from the '50s.
Oh, from the '50s.
I thought we were supposed to dress
like we were in our fifties.
I spent about...twenty minutes on it and just gave up.
Well, come on in. Come on.
‐ Is it okay? ‐ Yes. No, it's beautiful.
Hi!
Oh, hi!
Lydia!
Oh. This is my friend, Lamont Cassidy.
Oh, hi.
Lamont is a hypnotherapist.
Oh, really? Then I need to talk to you.
Because I got some problems with my hip.
I just don't know what it is.
Does this leg look shorter to you? Because..
‐ Balki, Balki. Balki. ‐ You know the hip girdle..
‐ It's at a funny angle. ‐ No, no, no.
Not a hip therapist.
A hypnotherapist.
What that is?
Well, that's someone who uses hypnosis
to put people to sleep
and make them act like...dogs and barnyard animals.
Actually, I use hypnosis
to break people of certain behavioral patterns
like smoking, overeating...rudeness.
Lamont has successfully cured migraines
back problems and a myriad of sexual dysfunctions.
And that was just for Lydia.
Uh, uh, Mr. Cassidy, could you show me
how that you make people go to sleep
and then, and then, eh, act like animals
because I haven't seen a really good mongoose impression
since I left Mypos.
Oh, I don't know about‐‐
Oh, come on, Lamont.
You can hypnotize me.
You know how easy I am.
To hypnotize. Hypnotize.
‐ Okay, sure. ‐ Oh, boy!
Everybody, everybody!
Mr. Cassidy is going to hypnotize Lydia!
Okay, honey.
[laughing]
Here we go.
Now, Lydia, concentrate on the watch.
Your eyes are tired.
'They're getting heavy.'
You can hardly keep..
[snoring]
Boy, she is easy.
Okay, now, Lydia, when you hear a bell
you'll become Charo.
And you'll be Charo until you hear the bell again.
Oh, I love Charo!
Especially when he takes his sword
and makes the sign of the "Z."
No. That's Zorro.
This is Charo.
‐ Oh, this is Charo! ‐ 'Yes.'
When I snap my fingers..
...you'll wake up.
Oh.
Oh, Lamont, I hope I didn't do anything silly.
‐ No. Of course not. ‐ Oh, good!
Because, you know as a nationally syndicated
advice columnist, I have to maintain a certain amount..
[As Charo] Coochi, coochi, coochi!
I am so happy to be here.
Could you lower the lights
and I do a little number for you.
Arriba, Arriba! Arriba!
To maintain a certain amount of professionalism.
You know, I have a reputation to protect.
Okay, when I clap my hands, you'll wake up
and you'll remember nothing of what just happened.
[applause]
Oh. Thank you. Thank you.
You didn't make me do the rooster, did you?
No, no.
That was wonderful.
I don't believe it!
I want you, I want you to do that to my Cousin Larry.
‐ Oh, no. No, no. ‐ Come on, cousin, please!
I don't think so.
There's no way I could be hypnotized.
My will is too strong.
You might be surprised, Larry.
Okay. Alright.
Take your best shot.
Oh. Make him somebody famous.
[timer beeps]
Oh, uh, I'll get the pizza rolls.
No, no, cousin, you stay here and you let Mr. Cassidy
eh, hypnotize you.
I go get the pizza roll.
Remember to, uh, concentrate on the watch.
‐ Your eyes are tired. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
'Your eyelids are getting heavy.'
You can hardly keep them open.
'You're getting very, very sleepy.'
You are falling into a deep, deep sleep.
When you hear a bell..
...you'll think that you're Elvis Presley
and you will be Elvis until you hear that bell again.
Now, when I snap my fingers ...you'll wake up.
'Wow.'
What happened? I‐I can't remember a thing.
[As Marlon Brando] I could have been a contender.
'I could have been somebody'
'instead of a bum, which is what I am.'
Wow! That's uncanny.
Wait a minute. That‐that's not Elvis.
That's Marlon Brando.
Well, I don't do Elvis.
And I don't get hypnotized either.
Well, Larry's proved his point.
Some people can't get hypnotized.
They're too rigid.
Here I am. Thanks for waiting.
Go ahead, Mr. Cassidy. Hypnotize Cousin Larry.
[telephone rings]
[As Elvis] Graceland.
Uh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
We don't have any Balki Bartokomous here.
How did you get this number?
Uh, who you talkin' to?
Well..
...folks call me The King.
Hold on.
Red! You wanna take care of this one?
Pick up on three.
I'm gonna fry me a peanut butter and banana sandwich.
[instrumental music]
Excuse me, mister.
Where have you been?
Well, uh..
...I've been to Memphis.
I've been to Nashville.
I guess I've been more places
than you can shake a stick at.
What are you talking.. What happened to your accent?
Well, uh, I've been takin' actin' lessons.
The colonel wants me to make another picture.
Look, uh, I stopped by to return this.
I found it in my pant's pocket.
Well, of course you found it in your pant's pocket.
‐ It's your wallet. ‐ No, sir. It's not mine.
It, uh, says it belongs to a Balki Bartokomous.
It says on the identification card that he works here.
Bad day to fool around.
Look, I've got to run this up to the city desk
when I get back, I wanna take a look at your tax return
and run over the numbers.
Alright, while you're gone
I'm gonna run over a number of my own.
You do that.
One, two..
One, two, three, four..
Oh, good. You're here for the rehearsal.
Okay.
I'll show you how the number goes.
I stand up here like this in front of my cell.
The music comes in, and I start to go like this.
And then I come down here like this.
Now, now, don't‐don't worry now
because, uh, I'm choreographin' this myself
and I want everyone to have fun.
I want to work with you
but let's see if we can get a little..
Little in your, in your knees and in your hips, man.
You gotta just..
...just let out what you're feelin'.
That's what music is all about.
Come on, baby.
Burn me up this time. Put a little fire into it.
Come on.
If you don't start behaving like yourself
by the time I count to three
you're out of a job.
‐ One‐‐ ‐ For the money.
‐ Two‐‐ ‐ For the show.
[telephone rings]
Hi, Mr. Gorpley.
Where did you come from?
Minneapolis.
And it's really none of your business.
[telephone rings]
Hello? Oh, no, this is the basement.
Uh, complaints is extension 6830.
Welcome.
‐ Thank you, Harriette. ‐ Alright, sweetie.
Alright. Balki, come on.
We gotta get to your tax audit.
We'll run over your return in the car.
Cousin, I don't think that's a good idea.
We might get tire marks on it.
Get in the car.
Charlotte, send in my next appointment.
‐ 'Hi.' ‐ Hi. I'm Balki Bartokomous.
And this is my Cousin Larry.
Uh, Ronald Yates. I'll be your auditor.
Why don't you sit down and we'll get started?
Well, thank you. This is a nice place you got here.
So...green.
Did you, did you decorate it yourself?
Uh, no. Uncle Sam did that for me.
Really? I have an Uncle Sam myself.
Actually his name is Salmonella
after the fish and the jazz singer.
Balki, this is a, this is a tax audit
not...this is your life.
[telephone ringing]
'Yates, speaking.'
'Yes, sir.'
I'll be right there.
Uh, will you excuse me for a minute?
Yes.
Well, he seems like a nice guy.
Yeah. I think I'll buy him a Cadillac.
What?
Buying Cadillac's for people makes me feel good.
You want one?
‐ Will you stop that? ‐ Stop what?
Stop pretending to be somebody..
Who are you anyway?
Well, uh..
...folks, uh, call me The King.
The king of what?
Man, that's‐that's cute.
I'll have to tell that one to Priscilla
when I get back to Graceland.
Oh, my lord.
You think you're Elvis.
Well, of course I do.
Don't be ridiculous.
You must have got hypnotized at the party.
Oh, okay, alright. Alright.
Alright. Snap out of it.
Snap out of it.
Uh, no offense, man
but you ain't got no rhythm.
It goes like this.
♪ We're caught in a trap ♪
Alright, alright, alright! What did Lamont do?
♪ I can't walk out ♪
He rang a little bell. He rang a bell
♪ Because I love you too much baby ♪
The phone! The phone!
♪ Why can't you see me ♪
♪ What you're doing to me ♪
♪ When you don't believe a word I'm saying ♪
♪ We can't go.. ♪
[telephone rings]
Cousin.
You're acting a little strange.
Balki?
Yes.
It's you.
‐ It worked. ‐ What worked?
‐ Okay. ‐ Did I‐did I pass my audit?
‐ No. ‐ Where did Mr. Yates go?
‐ Well, he‐‐ ‐ Why am I so sweaty?
Uh, excuse the interruption.
I'm sorry.
Uh, look, I can see you're very busy
so if you have questions about the return
why don't you give us a call?
Come on, Balki‐‐
I have questions about the return.
That's why you're here.
Cousin, what‐what are you doing?
You're acting very peculiar.
Very peculiar.
Charlotte, I'm expecting a call from my wife any minute.
Would you pick‐up when it rings?
Oh! Oh, gosh.
The glare from that window..
You, you mind if I tilt the blinds?
What do you think you're doing?
Oh, goodness.
How'd that happen?
How did that happen?
You walked over and yanked it out‐‐
Balki, Balki.
What are you doing?
Just let Mr. Yates finish the audit.
I'm sorry about the phone.
I was raised among the Amish.
Could everyone just stay seated
while we get through this?
Now...Mr. Bartokomous.
How much did you earn last year?
Well, uh, let me think.
[clock chimes]
Take it home, son. Jam!
[clock chimes]
Let me think.
Uh, must have been..
[clock chimes]
Ain't stoppin' now, baby.
‐ Ain't stoppin' now. ‐ Excuse me, sir.
Your income from last year?
Well, I have no idea. The colonel has all my money.
And I'm the colonel.
Colonel Larry Appleton.
And this colonel can assure you that this gentleman's income
was exactly what it says on that tax return.
Could you let your friend answer the questions?
Sir.. Mr. Bartokomous..
Uh, my name, uh isn't Bartokomous.
It's, uh, Presley.
Elvis Aaron Presley.
Uh..
...maybe you get a lot of Elvises in here I don't know.
So you know which one I am.
I'm gonna sing you a song.
♪ Well since my baby left me ♪
♪ Well I found a new place to dwell ♪
♪ Well it's down at the end of lonely street ♪
♪ At heartbreak hotel.. ♪
[knock on door]
Oh, good.
We got here as fast as we could.
'How is he?'
Well, he's in his room ...being Elvis.
I got tired of ringing the bell.
Well, I'll just have to hypnotize him again
to remove the suggestion.
Alright. I'll get him.
Now, bear with me
because this is the only thing
that he responds to.
Ladies and gentlemen..
...the grand showroom of the Las Vegas Hilton..
...is proud to present..
...the one..
...the only..
...Elvis!
Thank you. You've been a really fantastic audience.
A really beautiful audience.
The first picture I ever made was called "Love Me Tender."
I'd like to sing it for you now.
Balki, when I snap my fingers
you'll fall asleep.
Now, wait a minute
I snapped my fingers till I had blisters
and it didn't work for me.
Well, it's not just the snap. It's also the sound of my voice.
Balki, when you hear a bell
you will no longer be Elvis.
Do you understand?
Well, of course I do. Don't be ridiculous.
When I clap my hands, you'll wake up
and you'll remember nothing
of what happened yesterday.
Lydia, Mr. Cassidy. What are you doing here?
Um, we stopped by to pick up my bell.
Oh. Oh.
Pretty.
Looks like he's okay.
Well, we have to be going.
Lamont is going to hypnotize me
to help me get over my fear of pompons.
Aah! Look, there's one now!
Aah! Aah!
[sobbing]
Why am I wearing a sequined jumpsuit?
Balki, last night
when Lamont tried to hypnotize me
you got hypnotized instead.
You thought you were Elvis all day.
You made me take you shopping.
I didn't turn into Elvis during the audit, did I?
Well, yes, yes, but it's okay.
Mr. Yates finally believed you'd been hypnotized
but...not till after you tried to hit the high note
in "You'll never walk alone."
Boy, I wish I could have been there.
Balki, it's good to have you back.
Thank you, cousin.
It's good to be back.
Even though I‐I don't know where I'm back from.
Oh, would you believe that?
Lamont left his little bell again.
♪ Since my baby left me ♪
♪ Well I found a new place to dwell ♪
♪ Well.. ♪
Got you, cousin!
[theme music]