1 00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:02,769 [David Pomeranz performing "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now"] 2 00:00:11,477 --> 00:00:15,048 ♪ Sometimes the world looks perfect ♪ 3 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:17,551 ♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪ 4 00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,453 ♪ Sometimes you just get a feeling ♪ 5 00:00:20,486 --> 00:00:25,091 ♪ Like you need some kind of change ♪ 6 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,629 ♪ No matter what the odds are this time ♪ 7 00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,697 ♪ Nothing's going to stand in my way ♪ 8 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,465 ♪ This flame in my heart ♪ 9 00:00:32,498 --> 00:00:34,334 ♪ Like a long lost friend ♪ 10 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:39,272 ♪ Gives every dark street a light at the end ♪ 11 00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:42,475 ♪ Standing tall ♪ 12 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:46,112 ♪ On the wings of my dream ♪ 13 00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:49,149 ♪ Rise and fall ♪ 14 00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:52,586 ♪ On the wings of my dream ♪ 15 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,320 ♪ The rain and thunder ♪ 16 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,122 ♪ The wind and haze ♪ 17 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:59,459 ♪ I'm bound for better days ♪ 18 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:02,829 ♪ It's my life and my dream ♪ 19 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,766 ♪ And nothing's going to stop me now ♪ 20 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,844 [instrumental music] 21 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,524 Hi, baby. Have you seen Lydia? 22 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,126 Yeah, she just wandered into the archives. 23 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,360 I hate to see her wandering around 24 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,562 in the condition she's in. 25 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,630 Yeah, I heard. 26 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,198 Frank dumped her? 27 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,666 Frank? That was last week. 28 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,236 Norman dumped her this morning. 29 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:46,873 Boy, she has more trouble picking men than George Bush. 30 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,583 (Larry) Uh, Lydia. 31 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,252 I heard about Frank.. 32 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,621 ...and Norman. 33 00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:05,458 I know it's been a rough week for you. Are you okay? 34 00:02:05,491 --> 00:02:08,695 Oh, I'm fine! 35 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:11,598 I don't know why everybody's so upset about this. 36 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,834 Men are like buses 37 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:16,870 if you miss one there'll be another one around in a minute. 38 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,274 Three, two, one. 39 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,043 [crying] 40 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,715 I've been through this with her before. 41 00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,855 Cousin, I did it! 42 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,358 I figured out a way to make Miss Lydia feel better. 43 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,360 Did you get her flowers? 44 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,595 That's cute. 45 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,899 Cousin, flowers are nice but.. 46 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,768 ...they don't keep you warm at night. 47 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,505 I got her a man. 48 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,579 Whoa, wait a minute! Wait a minute! No, no. 49 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,480 No, n‐no, n‐no, no, no, no, no, no. 50 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,650 Balki, finding Lydia a man is none of your business. 51 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,218 Well, technically, that's true. 52 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:08,354 Matchmaking is actually my mama's business. 53 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,924 But, I used to do her books. 54 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,962 ‐ Your mama was a matchmaker? ‐ Still is. 55 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,665 For six generations Mypos has depended 56 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,367 on the Bartokomous family for matchmaking. 57 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,770 In fact, our house was fondly referred 58 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,839 to as the love connection. 59 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,643 W‐well, who is this guy? 60 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,444 It's not somebody you just met on the street, is it? 61 00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:34,548 Well, of course not! Don't be ridiculous! 62 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,416 I met him across the street in the diner. 63 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:42,255 His name is Jack Colby and he's coming over later this afternoon 64 00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:45,258 just to meet, just to talk, just to have a look‐see. 65 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,362 Thanks, Harriette, I'm alright now. 66 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,731 Bye, boys! Have a nice weekend! 67 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,333 Wait a minute! Lydia! Lydia, you can't leave now! 68 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,435 I have found the perfect man for you. 69 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:59,940 Eh, his, his name is Jack and, uh, he's tall 70 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,908 he's good‐looking, and get this 71 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,877 he don't spit when he talks. 72 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,448 Lydia, I'm afraid Balki has been playing matchmaker for you 73 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,050 I tried to tell him it was a mistake. 74 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,084 Oh, Balki. 75 00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:13,954 Well, I appreciate what you're doing but, you know 76 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:17,290 I've been thinking, I'm doing okay. 77 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:19,926 I've got friends, a nationally syndicated column 78 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,897 I have a little money...okay, I've got a ton of money. 79 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,800 The last thing I need in my life is a man. 80 00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,536 ‐ Balki! ‐ Jack! 81 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:30,804 Hi, how are you? 82 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,539 ‐ Good, good. ‐ Good. 83 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:36,409 Now, now, Jack, uh, this is the Lydia that I told you about. 84 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,712 And Lydia, this is the Jack that I told you about. 85 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,585 You're Lydia? 86 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,087 You're not at all what I expected. 87 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,022 You see, I read your column every single day and 88 00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:51,525 and the advice you give your readers is so wise 89 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:55,461 so obviously born from experience.. 90 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,564 ...that I didn't expect someone quite so young. 91 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,469 You didn't? 92 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,840 Listen, Jack, I'm sorry if Balki's caused you 93 00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,374 any inconvenience, but Lydia's decided‐‐ 94 00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,676 Shut up, Larry. 95 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,813 So, you read my column? 96 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,781 Yes, everyday. 97 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,551 Now I hope this doesn't sound forward but.. 98 00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,620 ...would you have dinner with me later? 99 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,523 Oh, well, well, why wait? 100 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,024 I haven't eaten anything all day 101 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:27,093 due to a minor trauma in my life. 102 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,762 I'm starved! 103 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,363 Bye, boys! 104 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:31,998 Now, uh, Jack I want to know everything about you.. 105 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,569 [sighing] 106 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,904 Well, another Bartokomous match. 107 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,873 Over three thousand served. 108 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:46,479 This may be worth a photograph in mama's brochure. 109 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,649 That was amazing. 110 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,717 Balki, you are quite a matchmaker. 111 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,719 So tell me something I don't know. 112 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:59,159 Was that Jack Colby with Lydia in the parking lot? 113 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,861 Mr. Gorpley, you know Mr. Colby? 114 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,029 Only by reputation. 115 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,765 What is his reputation? 116 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,533 Well, the guy dresses for success 117 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,669 but he's never worked a day in his life. 118 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,772 He charms women into giving him cash, clothes and cars 119 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,640 and then he kisses them goodbye. 120 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:16,042 He's been married four times and he's got two 121 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:19,680 count 'em, two ex‐wives paying him alimony. 122 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,149 The man's a gigolo! 123 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,451 Yeah. He's my hero. 124 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,960 Oh, cousin, I've dropped Miss Lydia 125 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,396 in some deep babasticki. 126 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,808 Still no answer? 127 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,442 No, cousin, I can't believe 128 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,678 Miss Lydia's been gone all weekend! 129 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,079 This is all my fault. 130 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,915 I never should have practiced matchmaking 131 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,883 with only a learner's permit. 132 00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,754 Cousin, what if Jack has already tricked her 133 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,823 and‐and broken her heart? 134 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,925 What if he's already tricked her and taken all her money? 135 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,960 Alright, Balki. Balki, stop it. Stop it! 136 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,462 That's enough. Now, relax. Deep breaths! 137 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,769 Alright, Balki. 138 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,203 Listen, listen. 139 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,139 Lydia's not stupid. 140 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,007 I bet she went out with this guy and realized 141 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,709 right away he was only after her money. 142 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:23,577 She'll probably come through that door 143 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,111 a sadder but wiser woman. 144 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,115 ♪ Day‐O ♪ 145 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,585 ♪ Day‐O ♪ 146 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,789 ♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home ♪ 147 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,261 Miss Lydia, we've been calling you all weekend. 148 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,597 Where have you been? 149 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,198 Jamaica. 150 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:49,002 [giggling] With Jack. 151 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,637 Jamaica? 152 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,973 Well, I thought you were just going out to dinner. 153 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,776 Well, we were, but after we left here Friday 154 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,745 we realized we were muy simpatico. 155 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,916 Oh, Balki, I just don't know how to thank you. 156 00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,918 Well, you may wanna hold off on that. 157 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,155 Uh, Lydia, listen. 158 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,592 I know this is gonna hurt, but there are a few things 159 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,894 you should know about Jack. Number one‐‐ 160 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:17,130 ‐ He's been married four times. ‐ You know about that? 161 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,100 Oh, of course I do! He told me everything 162 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,902 He did? 163 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:25,772 Did he tell you that two of his ex‐wives are paying him abalony? 164 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,076 That is alimony. 165 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,714 And he feels terrible about it. 166 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,116 Um, Miss Lydia, now, now, uh 167 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,851 as your friends we just want to 168 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,886 encourage you to find out 169 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,288 what kind of person Jack is 170 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,858 before you get too serious about him. 171 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:49,663 We are way beyond serious. 172 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:53,567 We're getting married Saturday! 173 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,835 Married? 174 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,603 Saturday? 175 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,271 Oh, I knew you'd be thrilled. 176 00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,874 We're having an engagement party tonight. Eight o'clock. 177 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,342 Don't be late. 178 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,111 Oh, Balki, thanks again! 179 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,147 I never would have met Jack without you! 180 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,749 Oh, God! 181 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:14,721 ♪ Come Mister Tally Man tally me banana ♪ 182 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,959 Cousin, I have ruined Miss Lydia's life. 183 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,063 Jack is going to take her money and break her heart 184 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,831 and it's all my fault. 185 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,336 According to the.. 186 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,038 ...matchmaker's code I must 187 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,709 now forever deny myself smoked meat. 188 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,622 Well, wait a minute, Balki. 189 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,324 Don't do anything drastic. 190 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,193 ‐ We'll think of something. ‐ What, cousin? 191 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,228 ‐ She won't listen to reason. ‐ I know. 192 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,963 So we'll have to show her that 193 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,800 Jack will go after any woman with money. 194 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,845 [piano music] 195 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,348 Cousin, aren't you coming? 196 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,878 [piano music] 197 00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:49,983 Cousin, usually your plans are a bust but.. 198 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,955 ...tonight your bust is the plan. 199 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,325 Where do I come up with them? 200 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,798 This wasn't my plan. 201 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,967 My plan was for you to be the woman. 202 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,937 Well, cousin, we have to convince Lydia 203 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:14,875 that Jack is only after her money, not her body. 204 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,442 And I think we both agreed that 205 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:19,245 I looked a little bit too much like Sophia Loren. 206 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,949 Come on, let's go. 207 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,822 I told you to wear flats. 208 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,456 Flats with a dress like this? 209 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,425 I don't think so. 210 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,301 Now, come on. Dance me over to Jack. 211 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,937 Is that when you're gonna put the moves on him? 212 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,206 No, I'm not gonna put the moves on him. 213 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,474 I‐I'm just going to drop subtle hints 214 00:11:48,509 --> 00:11:51,411 about how incredibly rich and lonely I am. 215 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,513 Now, come on, let's dance. 216 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,147 Now, wait a minute. 217 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:57,918 I'm the man. Shouldn't I ask you to dance? 218 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:58,919 Fine. 219 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,957 May I have this dance? 220 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,861 Charmed, I'm sure. 221 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,372 Oh, hi, Balki. 222 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,074 Who's your date? 223 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:24,878 This is Cousin Larry's aunt. 224 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,413 Cousin Larry isn't feeling well 225 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,983 and Cousin Larry's aunt was visiting 226 00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,953 so I asked Cousin Larry's aunt to come. 227 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:38,358 I'm Lydia Markham and this is my fiance, Jack Colby. 228 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,425 Desiree Appleton. 229 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,393 ‐ How do you do? ‐ How do you do? 230 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,162 ‐ So nice to meet you. ‐ Nice to meet you. 231 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,799 You can call her Desi. 232 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,336 So, Desi, what brings you to Chicago? 233 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,873 Oh, well, I'm taking a trip around the world 234 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:56,242 to inspect my late husband's hotels and casinos. 235 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:07,053 Aunt Desi's late and very dead husband.. 236 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,958 ...was also a very successful shipping maggot. 237 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,600 ‐ Excuse me? ‐ Magnate. 238 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:22,135 Shipping magnate. Magnate! 239 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,305 Fascinating. 240 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,240 Uh, sweetheart, we mustn't ignore 241 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,909 our other guests, so excuse me. 242 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:29,976 Well, certainly. 243 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,945 ‐ Bye‐bye Lydia. ‐ Bye. 244 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:36,950 Cousin, you're dyin' over here. 245 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,019 I think you got to dump the Bea Arthur look 246 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:42,923 and...maybe show a little thigh. 247 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,925 Forget it. 248 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,059 I only shaved to the knee. 249 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:52,398 Nice party, huh? 250 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,967 Yes, it's delightful. 251 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,237 Larry? 252 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,374 ‐ Harriette, I can explain this. ‐ Hey! 253 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,877 I don't know what you're doin' and I don't wanna know. 254 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,651 Cousin, this chocolate mouse is to die for! 255 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,219 ‐ You've got to try it! ‐ No, I can't, Balki. 256 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,056 Not if I want to stay a size ten. 257 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,524 Well, hello again. 258 00:14:17,558 --> 00:14:20,961 Oh, Jack! Oh, look, it's Jack. 259 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,963 So, uh, Desiree, how long are you in town for? 260 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,130 ‐ A week. ‐ A month. 261 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,199 A week and a month. 262 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,634 Five weeks altogether. 263 00:14:27,668 --> 00:14:31,004 Then I'm off to the far east. China, Japan, Tibet.. 264 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,239 Oh, Aunt Desi loves to bet. 265 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,342 She must go to Vegas five, six times a year. 266 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,613 In fact, she loves Vegas so much 267 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,681 she's thinking of buying it! 268 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:41,948 Balki. 269 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:42,916 But, before she does that 270 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,586 she's got to think about selling Atlantic City. 271 00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:47,554 You know there was this one time where we were talking about.. 272 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,525 Would you get me a glass of water? 273 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,459 Well, sure, you can have mine, I haven't touched it. 274 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,028 Where was I? 275 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,597 Oh, there was an interesting moment once when she.. 276 00:14:58,532 --> 00:15:00,333 Would you get me a glass of water.. 277 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,035 ...from a well? 278 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,644 Oh! Right, right. 279 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,279 Aunt Desi loves her well water 280 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,148 and well she should. 281 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,558 Where does he come up with them? 282 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:27,994 Hors d'ouvres? 283 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,563 Well, yes, of course. Thank you. 284 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,434 You'll‐you'll have to forgive Balki. 285 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,070 Well, he's a, he's a dear really but, uh.. 286 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,272 ...he's a little awkward around me. 287 00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:42,743 Probably because I'm so unbelievably wealthy. 288 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,145 Well, you're very fortunate that 289 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:48,114 your husband left you so well taken care of. 290 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,116 I suppose so. 291 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:55,188 But I think Lydia's the fortunate one...she has you. 292 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,123 Well, thank you. 293 00:15:57,157 --> 00:16:00,761 Well, I didn't mean to embarrass you. 294 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:04,030 It's just that, you know, I've always thought if I.. 295 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:08,468 ...if I found the right person my life would be perfect. 296 00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:12,005 Someone to whisper sweet nothings in my ear 297 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:14,474 to exchange a knowing glance with. 298 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:21,081 Someone to walk hand in hand through the.. 299 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,717 ...many shopping centers and retail outlets I own. 300 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,694 I hope you find what you're looking for. 301 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,129 Excuse me. 302 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,040 What's a woman gotta do? 303 00:17:00,621 --> 00:17:03,524 ‐ Desiree! ‐ Oh! Oh, Jack! 304 00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:06,292 Desiree, I can't stand it any longer! I can't resist you! 305 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,729 Oh, Jack, what on earth are you talking about? 306 00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:10,330 I'm talking about us! 307 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,666 When you walked through that door I felt something. 308 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,836 And just hearing you talk about whispering sweet nothings 309 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,538 knowing glances and taking long walks 310 00:17:17,571 --> 00:17:20,641 I realized that you were whispering to me 311 00:17:20,674 --> 00:17:23,276 and glancing at me, and walking with me. 312 00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:26,613 Sweetheart. 313 00:17:26,647 --> 00:17:28,515 ‐ Oh, Jack. ‐ Yes. 314 00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:31,317 You can't imagine how much I was hoping you'd say that. 315 00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:37,323 Sweetheart, let's run away tonight and get married. 316 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:40,193 No! No! No, no. 317 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,795 ‐ Well, what about Lydia? ‐ Who? 318 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:42,863 Lydia. 319 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,765 Oh, her. Forget her. 320 00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:46,399 She's a child. You're a woman! 321 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,703 No! No! No, no. 322 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,405 First, you have to tell Lydia. 323 00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:54,140 We can't begin our life together until 324 00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,276 I'm sure it's over between you two. 325 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:59,780 ‐ I'll phone her from Vegas. ‐ No! No, no. 326 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,686 You have to tell her now! 327 00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,291 Of course. 328 00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,665 [sighing] Ho. 329 00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:30,577 (Balki) Cousin? 330 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,714 It's working! 331 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,154 Cousin, that's great! 332 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,322 Jack took the bait. 333 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:45,592 Oh! Now reel him in and hit him with an oar! 334 00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:52,265 That's how we fish on Mypos. 335 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,500 Oh, Jack! There you are. 336 00:18:54,535 --> 00:18:56,202 Um, attention, everyone! 337 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,204 Jack and I have an announcement to make. 338 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,472 Tell them, Jack. 339 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:03,209 Jack...be gentle. 340 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,578 I will. 341 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,881 Lydia, you're history. 342 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,652 I'm marrying somebody else. 343 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,522 What is this? 344 00:19:15,556 --> 00:19:16,823 Dump Lydia Month? 345 00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:19,025 Yes, I thought that I loved you 346 00:19:19,059 --> 00:19:21,928 but then I met Desiree and I discovered what real love is. 347 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,330 Desiree? 348 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,331 This Desiree? 349 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,333 Hey, stuff happens! 350 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,810 You're leaving me for a woman you just met? 351 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,844 No, Miss Lydia. 352 00:19:37,878 --> 00:19:40,581 He's leaving you for a man he just met! 353 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,788 No problem. 354 00:19:47,821 --> 00:19:50,957 We'll find the best psychiatrist that money can buy. 355 00:19:50,991 --> 00:19:52,959 ‐ I have no money. ‐ No money? 356 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,463 Lydia, the wedding's back on! 357 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:58,599 Let's make our announcement. 358 00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:01,902 Just one minute, you Jell‐O mold. 359 00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:03,269 Gigolo. 360 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:05,939 You Goldfinger! 361 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:06,873 Gold digger. 362 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,977 You old‐timer! 363 00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:12,345 Two‐timer. 364 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,681 You wanna do this? 365 00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:16,683 No, no, no, you go ahead. You're doing fine. Go ahead 366 00:20:18,619 --> 00:20:21,321 Just who do you think you are? 367 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,389 Some kind of Don Juan Johnson? 368 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,962 Well, I have a hot flash dance for you. 369 00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:34,635 Miss Lydia's been dumped by better men than you.. 370 00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,402 ...and that was just this week! 371 00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:46,547 She is a wonderful person and a snappy little dresser.. 372 00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:51,952 ...and you are not worthy to spit on the ground she walks on. 373 00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:54,588 So hit the road, Jack! 374 00:20:55,889 --> 00:20:58,625 And I mean maybe! 375 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,031 Do you want me to go? 376 00:21:05,065 --> 00:21:07,000 Not just yet. 377 00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,382 Now you can go. 378 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,950 [people cheering] 379 00:21:28,522 --> 00:21:30,356 Miss Lydia, are you alright? 380 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,325 Oh, I'm fine. 381 00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:33,827 No big deal. 382 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:36,963 Men are like freeway exits. 383 00:21:36,997 --> 00:21:39,766 If you miss one, there's another one down the road. 384 00:21:41,902 --> 00:21:44,871 Oh, please, everyone! Don't let this spoil the party! 385 00:21:44,905 --> 00:21:47,574 Eat! Drink! Be merry! 386 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,945 Three, two, one. 387 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,714 [crying] 388 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:06,627 What a night! 389 00:22:07,661 --> 00:22:09,095 Boy, I'll say. 390 00:22:09,129 --> 00:22:12,799 Cousin, Miss Lydia's lucky to have a friend like you. 391 00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:14,467 By the end of the evening, you had her 392 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,504 laughing out of the palm of your hand. 393 00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:22,442 Well, I hope you learned your lesson! 394 00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:24,077 Why, cousin, I did! 395 00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,579 Oh, I did! 396 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:27,714 Thank you, cousin. 397 00:22:28,849 --> 00:22:30,016 [knocking on door] 398 00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:31,718 Come in. 399 00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:33,754 Hi, Larry, I was just wondering 400 00:22:33,787 --> 00:22:35,722 if you wanted to go get some coffee. 401 00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:46,967 I‐I should have called first. 402 00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:52,739 [instrumental music] 403 00:22:59,179 --> 00:23:01,381 [theme music]