[theme music]
♪ Sometimes the world looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just get a feeling ♪
♪ Like you need some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what the odds are this time ♪
♪ Nothing’s gonna stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
♪ And a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street a light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Through the rain and thunder the wind and haze ♪
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ It’s my life ♪
♪ And my dream ♪
♪ And nothing’s gonna stop me now ♪
[instrumental music]
How’s the research going, Balki?
Great, cousin.
What have you got on Carl Sandburg?
Uh, nothing yet.
Well, what about Robert Frost?
He’s next.
Well, then what’s all this?
This is all about Lowell Kelly.
Balki, I just needed
a little background on the poets
whose manuscripts are being auctioned
tomorrow night at Beardsley’s.
Don’t waste too much time with Lowell Kelly.
He’s a minor poet.
Minor?
You mean, his mama had to give him permission?
No, I‐I mean, compared to poets like, Sandburg and Frost
Kelly’s work isn’t very good.
Cousin, I beg to take issue.
I love Lowell Kelly.
And‐and now that I know so much more about him
I love him even more.
Did you know that he used to hide his poems?
That’s what I’d do with them.
He always said that it was an extension
of the hidden meaning in his poetry.
And one time, his editor had to go on a scavenger hunt
to find the poems.
Well, Balki, my editor’s gonna be hunting for my replacement
if I don’t get this story in on time.
Question, why would anybody hunt for scavengers?
I mean, they’re‐they’re ugly.
They smell bad.
They’re not very good eating.
Except perhaps a very young buzzard.
(Larry) ’Balki.’
You know, years back
mother used to have an excellent recipe
for baby buzzard with basil.
Alright, I think you need to take a break.
You accidentally wrote down
that Lowell Kelly lived at our address.
I did?
Cousin, I did not make a mistake.
Look this.
Lowell Kelly used to live at our address
"711 Coldwell Avenue."
And not only that, but he lived in apartment 209.
That’s our apartment!
Well, that’s incredible.
But, do you know what that means?
I’m still the best writer who ever lived in our apartment.
It also means
that Lowell Kelly’s last poem
is hidden somewhere in our apartment.
Well, I say we do the world a favor
and let it stay hidden.
Come on, let’s go to lunch.
Oh, cousin, I‐I know you don’t think much of Lowell Kelly
but some other people do.
Listen to this, in 1974, a Lowell Kelly manuscript
sold for $5,000.
$5,000?
Isn’t that disgusting?
Putting a price tag on a work of art.
It’s like painting chest hairs on the Mona Lisa.
Five thousand dollars for a poem?
If it had been signed, it would be 10,000.
Uh, you know, Balki, I think I may have to
work through lunch.
Could you get me a corned beef sandwich.
I‐I’ve gotta run this up to the city desk.
Okay, cousin, one corned beef, very lean
cut from the middle and slice diagonally
coming right up.
Beardsley’s Auction House?
Yes, this is Larry Appleton
from the Chicago Chronicle again.
Yeah, you know, I‐I heard somewhere
that an original unpublished Lowell Kelly manuscript
brought in $5,000 in 1974.
Uh, what would one go for these days?
Twenty‐five thousand doll...
Oh, my Lord.
[instrumental music]
Well, cousin, no poem back there.
But, I did find my Myposian microwave cookbook
that you said was stolen.
You sure, you can’t get behind the sink?
Yeah.
You know, cousin
I can’t help noticing
that I’m doing all the work
and you’re doing all the...
...whatever it is you’re doing.
All the work? All the work?
Balki, who went all the way downtown
to get the blueprints?
You did.
Who stood in line for good ten minutes
at the city planner’s office?
You did.
Who left a five dollar deposit for the blueprints?
You’re right.
I’m sorry for being so petty.
That’s okay.
Cousin, I can’t believe you will go to so much trouble
to find a Lowell Kelly poem
when you consider him such a minor league poet.
That was this morning, Balki.
After our talk
I realized the true value of his poetry.
How a few simple lines on paper
can enrich a man’s life.
Cousin, isn’t it wonderful
that we’re going to find a poem
that will bring the world such happiness?
Happiness. Right. Okay.
Let’s look at the mantelpiece.
Maybe there’s a loose tile, a secret compartment.
[sighs]
You know, cousin
Uh, on Mypos, whenever I had anything I that I wanted to hide
that was valuable, I used to just shove it up the chimney.
‐Shove it up the chimney? ‐Just shove it up the chimney.
Well, this isn’t Mypos, so we can eliminate the chimney.
Cousin, it wouldn’t kill you to look up the chimney.
Alright. I’ll look up the chimney.
Balki.
There’s something here.
Balki, hand me the poker.
Uh, cousin, no, no, it’s not a good idea
to go poking up in a chimney.
Balki, I know what I’m doing. Hand me the poker.
‐Cousin, no‐‐ ‐Balki‐‐
No. I know. I know more...
Cousin, I know more about chimneys...
‐Balki. Balki. ‐No.
Balki!
Hand me the poker. Now.
Po, po, po.
Pokie stickie up the chicky...
[speaking in foreign language]
There’s something stuck to the side of the chimney.
[grumbling] Play with the fireplace...
If I can just...
...pry it loose...
Yeah.
I’m getting it!
I’ve got it!
You know, um
one of the reasons
it makes such an excellent hiding place
is no one in their right mind...
...would go poking up inside it.
Boy, I was lucky.
I could have been hit in the head with this brick.
Or worse
with this tin box.
Balki!
Do you know what this is?
It’s a tin box.
This isn’t just a tin box.
We found the Lowell Kelly poem.
[instrumental music]
Here it is.
Get ready to hear Lowell Kelly’s last poem.
"Roses are red, violets are blue
"If you want my poem, here’s what you do."
Yeah. Yeah.
That’s Kelly.
The man was a genius.
I don’t know why he fell into disfavor in the sixties?
Balki, this isn’t the poem.
If it is not the poem what is it?
Balki, these are instructions
for finding the poem.
We’re nearing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Did you say "gold"?
‐Gold? ‐Yes.
Why would I say "gold"?
I don’t know.
There’s no money involved in this.
Aren’t we doing this
to bring the world happiness?
Happiness. Right.
Now, help me find the poem.
"From the front door with zest
first you take ten paces west."
"From the front door, ten paces west.
‐It says with zest. ‐With zest. Ten paces.
One, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
"Five paces north, now five more east.
"You’re getting close to a poetry feast."
Five paces north.
One, two, three, four, five.
"Now five more east."
One, two, three, four, five.
"Six paces south. Please be meticulous."
Of course we will. Don’t be ridiculous.
Six paces south.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Balki, I don’t understand.
We’re supposed to take six paces south.
We’ve only taken five.
Perhaps Kelly had short legs.
Wait a minute.
Balki, this wall shouldn’t be here.
Cousin, I think you’re right.
If this wall were gone
it would really open up the space
and make kind of a‐a Santa Fe statement.
No. No, no, Balki.
I mean, this wall wasn’t here
when Lowell Kelly lived here.
We need to take one more pace in that direction.
I’m going into the closet.
’Six!’
’This is the final instruction.’
’"Five paces east, and you will be’
’"in the presence of poetry."’
One, two, three, four.
Balki, the poem is hidden in your bedroom.
Come on, Balki. Let’s find the...
You know...
...every time I come in here it’s just a little...
...busier.
Thank you, cousin.
I‐I like to think of my room as a work in progress.
Speaking of which there’s something I want to show you.
Come over here. And move here.
Well.
Balki.
It’s big.
I‐I’ve been staying up late nights
working on it.
It’s a depiction of the birth of our friendship.
Well, of‐of course.
And, uh, this would be you over here.
The sandals give me away, huh?
And this person with no lips...
...would be me.
Well, that’s very nice, Balki.
Now come on. Let’s see if we can find‐‐
Cousin, cousin, I’m so, I’m so happy you like it
because I put my heart and soul
and six months of sleepless nights into painting it.
Actually, there was one night
when I fell asleep against the mural.
You see this sheep that looks like a nose?
It‐it‐it is my nose.
Well, it’s a good, good painting.
But we have a poem to find, huh?
Now, let’s get all this stuff off the shelves.
Cousin, cousin, wait, wait, wait!
Wait a minute.
You were, you were about to touch
a rare complete set of Moogli carvings.
Okay. You move them. But, let’s hurry it up.
Okay. Okay.
Zygote, I’m going to take you down now.
I’m gonna take you down. Shh, shh, no, no.
That’s my hand. That’s my hand.
Don’t look down. Don’t look down.
Eye contact, eye contact.
Eye contact.
See me.
Hear me.
Feel me.
Okay, okay, okay.
There’s the back legs
and there’s the four hoofs.
Okay.
Okay , Zina‐‐
Say, Balki, uh, don’t you have a class to go to?
Well, well, I already decided I’m not going tonight.
You’re not?
No, no, I want to help you find the poem.
Well, I’m shocked.
Uh, don’t you realize there are people all over the world
who would do anything for the educational opportunities
that have been just handed to you.
Is this the way you show your gratitude, is it?
By skipping class?
But‐but‐but, cousin, I’m only gonna do it just this once.
Oh, sure, that’s what you say now
but, uh, soon it’ll be twice a week, three times a week
a whole semester.
Pretty soon you’ll have forgotten
the pledge of allegiance.
Cousin, I would never do that.
‐Then you better go to class. ‐Okay.
Don’t worry.
I won’t look for the poem till you get back.
Okay. Thank you, cousin.
[instrumental music]
[chain saw starts]
[panting]
Balki.
I didn’t hear you come in.
What have you done?
Oh. Well...
Just thought I’d get a jump on things.
No need to thank me.
Balki.
I know now where the poem is.
Where, cousin, could it possibly be?
You’ve torn up every wall!
The only place it could possibly be is...
No, cousin.
No. No.
Don’t destroy my mural!
Please, cousin. Please, cousin.
I put my heart and soul and nose into it.
Balki. Balki.
You can paint it again.
Think of how much better it’ll be the second time around.
Cousin, I can’t paint it the second time.
It was done during my blue period
and I think that’s passed.
Balki, there is a manuscript on the other side of that wall
that is worth a lot of money.
I called Beardsley’s and they told me
we could get $25,000 for that poem.
So that’s why you’re in my room with a chain saw.
This isn’t about bringing the world happiness.
This is about bringing Larry Appleton money.
Wait, cousin! Look around you.
Wait! Look what you’ve done.
Stop, in the name of love!
Balki, get out of my way.
Okay, cousin.
You can destroy my mural if you want to.
But just think before you leap
into your own great gorge of greed.
You might find the poem
but you might lose the part of Larry Appleton
that cares more about people than he does about money.
[pound]
[Larry laughing]
(Larry) ’Aah.’
Balki, I didn’t destroy the mural.
‐You didn’t? ‐Yeah.
I just...couldn’t do it.
Cousin, thank you, thank you.
I’m so happy.
But why‐why were you screaming?
I dropped the sledge hammer on my foot.
Cousin, I’m so proud of you.
I didn’t do it on purpose.
No, I’m proud of you for resisting
the great gorge of greed.
Yeah, I went off the deep end again.
And you know what it was?
Just pure greed.
It was just pure greed.
You know, sometimes‐‐
You just get greedy.
I get greedy...
You just lose control.
And I lose it.
I‐I lose control.
But you know what, cousin?
Look on the bright side?
Look on the bright side.
You were lured to the edge of the great gorge of greed
but you didn’t fall in.
I do get right up to the edge though, don’t I?
Why is that?
I don’t know. Maybe you like the view.
Cousin...
...what’s this?
That’s Lowell Kelly’s poem.
"If you’ve made it this far
"you’re quite a mover.
"Now buy a ticket, and go to Vancouver.
"Bring a rifle, a net, put a smile on your face.
"You’ll need all of these for your wild‐goose‐chase."
Beautiful.
It was worth the effort.
[theme music]