1
00:00:01,467 --> 00:00:03,403
(male narrator)
Last week
on "Perfect Strangers."
2
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:06,072
I’m just a little tensed
about my dad’s visit.
3
00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,775
Now, I want this visit
to be perfect.
4
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,345
This is my chance to show dad
I’ve made it on my own.
5
00:00:12,378 --> 00:00:14,314
And when he see’s the life
I’ve made for myself
6
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,550
he’ll be so proud of me,
he’ll say
7
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:19,219
"Well done, son."
8
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:21,822
I still have the bat
Mickey Mantle autographed.
9
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,357
It wasn’t Mickey Mantle,
it was Roger Maris.
10
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:27,393
It was Mickey Mantle
a‐and I can prove it.
11
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,563
I‐I have the bat right here
in the closet.
12
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,599
The bat’s in the basement.
13
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,706
[water sloshing]
14
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,409
It‐it‐it won’t turn, dad.
15
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,478
Well, no wonder. It’s rusted.
16
00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,848
And how do we get rid
of rust, son?
17
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,517
We knock it off with a hammer.
18
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,585
[clanks]
19
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,525
‐Balki, Larry, are you...
‐Oh.
20
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,527
[indistinct chatter]
21
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,363
Hey, hey, hey!
22
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:07,300
You just locked us all in.
23
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,436
Wait a minute.
24
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,273
This place is gonna
fill up with water.
25
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:16,476
‐I don’t wanna drown!
‐Nobody’s gonna drown.
26
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,412
By the time the water reaches
this fuse box...
27
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,516
...we’ll all be electrocuted.
28
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,485
[dramatic music]
29
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:30,090
[theme song]
30
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:41,267
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪
31
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,570
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
32
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,472
♪ Sometimes
you just get a feeling ♪
33
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:51,211
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪
34
00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:54,581
♪ No matter what the odds are
this time ♪
35
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,850
♪ Nothing’s going to stand
in my way ♪
36
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,585
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
37
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,353
♪ Like a long‐lost friend ♪
38
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:04,558
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪
39
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:08,494
♪ Standing tall ♪
40
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:12,265
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
41
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:15,235
♪ Rise and fall ♪
42
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:18,872
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
43
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,541
♪ The rain and thunder ♪
44
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,208
♪ The wind and haze ♪
45
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,646
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
46
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:28,882
♪ It’s my life and my dream ♪
47
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,418
♪ And nothing’s gonna
stop me now ♪
48
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,297
[instrumental music]
49
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,303
(all)
He‐e‐elp!
50
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,506
Again.
51
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:57,410
(all)
He‐e‐elp!
52
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,647
Cousin, cousin.
53
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,784
We’ve been screaming for an hour
and if we keep it up
54
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,820
we’re going to do some permanent
damage to our vocal cords.
55
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,624
‐Nobody can hear us, anyway.
‐Oh.
56
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,796
There must be something
we can do!
57
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,864
I don’t wanna be electrocuted!
58
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,000
I don’t wanna die!
59
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,968
Not in this ensemble.
60
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,507
If we stay calm
and keep our wits about us
61
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,843
I’m sure we can think of a way
to keep ourselves from dying.
62
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:35,949
[gasps]
63
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,852
I got nothing.
64
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:43,624
I’ve got an idea.
65
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,828
Oh! He’s got that look
in his eyes.
66
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,295
Normally that scares me
67
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:51,264
but when
you’re thigh‐deep in water
68
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,233
you lower your expectation.
69
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,003
This oughta do it.
70
00:03:57,037 --> 00:04:00,607
Now, cousin, this is no time
to try your ventriloquist act.
71
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,312
I’ve seen it
and his lips move constantly.
72
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,320
[Larry panting]
73
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:15,522
[all cheering]
74
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:16,990
(Balki)
’Cousin!’
75
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,392
Appleton finally came up
with something that worked.
76
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,394
‐I don’t believe it.
‐There.
77
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,063
One problem solved.
78
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,365
Well, cousin, I must say
79
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:28,001
this time
you really used your head.
80
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,336
That was a really good idea,
Larry.
81
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,605
[rumbling]
82
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,406
Well, I just spotted the problem
83
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,976
and used a little
of the old Appleton know‐how.
84
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,611
[chuckles]
85
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,348
Cousin! Cousin!
86
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:47,521
[screams]
87
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,389
[screams]
88
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:54,327
[instrumental music]
89
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:06,673
Balki.
90
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:11,377
Now do you see
why bailing won’t work?
91
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,648
Yes, cousin, you’re right
92
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,850
but I appreciate
your letting me take the shot.
93
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,732
Well, somebody better
do something.
94
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,834
We’re four inches
from being deep‐fried.
95
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:39,472
Actually,
it’s three and a half inches.
96
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:45,411
Don’t worry. I’ve got another
plan to get us out of here.
97
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:46,880
You have another plan?
98
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,650
You call sticking a head
in the pipe a plan?
99
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:51,818
It was a good plan.
100
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,355
Just poorly executed.
101
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,593
Alright, now,
now listen to me, everyone.
102
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,762
This is no time to lose hope
103
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,164
because if we all
put our heads together
104
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,966
I’m sure
we can think of something.
105
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,601
You know what they say
106
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,670
"United we stand
107
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,472
and Delta is ready
when you are."
108
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,314
Alright, c‐come on, everybody
109
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:25,085
we’ve got to find something
to knock the door down with.
110
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,729
Hey, cousin
111
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,699
maybe we could knock the door
down with one of these beams.
112
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,504
Good idea, Balki.
113
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,172
Alright, l‐let’s get
this beam over to the stairs.
114
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:49,009
Okay, Balki, you take that end
115
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,144
and I’ll get this end.
Lawrence, you get the middle.
116
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,547
Alright, alright. Lift!
117
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,081
[grunting]
118
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,182
Okay, walk it on over!
119
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,752
‐Uh...
‐’Walk it over!’
120
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:01,788
‐Be careful, Larry.
‐I’m okay. I’m okay.
121
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,857
Alright, alright,
swing it on in.
122
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:07,027
Swing it on in.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good.
123
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,863
Alright. Alright, alright,
set it down.
124
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,164
Set‐set it down. Oh.
125
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,233
Uh...
126
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,568
[sighs]
127
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,636
Oh, that was close, Appleton
128
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,003
it almost touched
your hands once.
129
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,905
[chuckles]
130
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,174
Alright, alright, everybody,
get down here, out of the way.
131
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,944
What, are you crazy?
These are alligator shoes.
132
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,647
Oh, well, good. Then they’ll be
right at home in the water.
133
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,550
What? Oh, oh, oh, oh.
134
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,184
[breathing heavily]
135
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:32,853
Alright, let’s lift it up.
136
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,555
[grunting]
137
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,757
Mr. Gorpley, you could help us.
138
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,858
Oh, goody.
139
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,095
You’re gonna pay
for these shoes, Appleton.
140
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,134
Alright, ready,
on the count of three
141
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,070
we’ll ram this baby
into the door.
142
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,204
‐One‐‐
‐Wait a minute, wait a minute.
143
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,105
What is it, dad?
144
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,608
I think we should say
ready, set, go.
145
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,081
Dad, I think there are times
when a ready, set, go
146
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,148
is called for
147
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,718
but I don’t think
this is one of those times.
148
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,019
‐Oh, brother.
‐Lawrence.
149
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,988
How many basement doors
have you knocked down?
150
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,155
‐Well‐‐
‐’How many?’
151
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,256
‐Well, I‐‐
‐How many‐‐
152
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:13,059
Guys, guys, guys.
153
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:16,196
How about if we,
if we say one, two, three
154
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,700
but, but we’re thinking
ready, set, go?
155
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,938
One, two
156
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:25,972
three!
157
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,708
[thud]
158
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,611
One, two, three!
159
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,813
[thud]
160
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,248
Any other ideas, Appleton?
161
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,918
Alright, we just need
a little more weight behind us.
162
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,854
Jennifer, Mary Anne, Lydia,
give us a hand.
163
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,789
I don’t know, son, I...
164
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:45,726
I don’t, I don’t think
this landing can hold all of us.
165
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:46,793
Trust me, dad.
166
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,663
Lawrence, if the four of us
just keep hitting it
167
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,566
the door will give way,
eventually.
168
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,735
But that could take all night,
dad. It stands to reason.
169
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,904
The more people, the more force,
the quicker we’ll open the door.
170
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,305
And it’s my beam.
171
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,311
And a very handsome beam it is,
too, cousin
172
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,614
but I think the point
your father is trying to make
173
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,751
is that this landing
may not be able to support
174
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,886
seven people and your beam.
175
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:15,255
So prove me wrong.
176
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,858
Come on, ladies.
Let’s put our backs into it.
177
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,327
Oh, no.
I hope I don’t break a nail.
178
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:28,902
Alright,
on the count of three. Ready?
179
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:32,739
One, two, three!
180
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,340
[thud]
181
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,146
Well, it didn’t
knock down the door.
182
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,883
Well, it didn’t knock
the landing down, either.
183
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,787
[gasping]
184
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,989
‐Oh, my God!
‐No.
185
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,056
Oh.
186
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,124
[screaming]
187
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,059
‐’We’re going down.’
‐Ah.
188
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,327
Ah, ah...
189
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,163
[screaming]
190
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,134
Well...
191
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,838
[instrumental music]
192
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,744
[instrumental music]
193
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,150
Okay, okay.
So we’ve had a little setback.
194
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,421
A little setback?
195
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,390
You mean, like, the Titanic
had a little setback?
196
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:27,861
At least I tried.
197
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,429
I don’t hear anybody else
coming up with a plan
198
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,697
to get us out of here.
199
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,865
You’re right, son.
200
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,835
‐You did have a plan.
‐Thanks, dad.
201
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,270
Just wasn’t a very good one.
202
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,106
Ah. Well,
I was only trying to help.
203
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,175
You wanna help?
Go play in the deep end.
204
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,317
Shame on you.
205
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,787
Didn’t you ever make a mistake?
206
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,756
Yeah. Coming to this party.
207
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,228
It’s getting deeper.
208
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,163
If we don’t get out of here soon
209
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,265
we might as well
forget about the party.
210
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,871
Cousin, um
211
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:14,708
the‐the‐the festive mood
seems to be slipping away.
212
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:18,912
Everyone seems to be
getting cranky.
213
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,447
That’s because they’re going
to die, and it’s all my fault.
214
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,385
They hate me, don’t they?
215
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,088
Well, of course they don’t.
Don’t be ridiculous.
216
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:33,326
I wanted this to be a weekend
my father would never forget.
217
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,362
Now I’ve killed him.
218
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,900
Well, it will be a weekend
219
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,335
your, your, your mother
will never forget.
220
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,409
And I’ll die without ever
making my father proud of me.
221
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,177
Cousin, you know...
222
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,979
...maybe your father
is proud of you
223
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,047
and you just don’t know it.
224
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,448
Well, he’s never said so.
225
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:59,085
Well, he, fathers don’t
always say what they feel.
226
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,923
Cousin, if you tell your father
227
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,224
how you feel
228
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,193
maybe you will be surprised
at how he feels.
229
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,533
Well, I‐I would, but...
230
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,935
Yeah, but I just don’t know
how to get started.
231
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,503
Well, I’m gonna help you.
232
00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:17,604
‐Uncle Walter.
‐Oh, no.
233
00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:19,873
Would you swim over here
for just a moment, please?
234
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,508
Cousin Larry has something
he want to tell you.
235
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:22,909
‐No, no.
‐Cousin, cousin.
236
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,210
Just open your mouth
237
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,179
and let your heart
do the talking.
238
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:28,114
What is it, son?
239
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,184
Dad, I...
240
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,155
B‐Balki, could you...
241
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,423
...give us a minute?
242
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,873
Dad, we may not have
much time left
243
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,542
but we need to talk,
you and me.
244
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,478
You and I, Lawrence.
245
00:12:58,512 --> 00:12:59,780
You and I.
246
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,516
W‐well, it’s not so much
you and I
247
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,551
i‐it’s more you.
248
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,855
Well, it’s you
when you’re r‐relating to me.
249
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,456
To I. To‐to me.
250
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,527
Lawrence, if you want
a career in journalism
251
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,863
you’ve got to be
more articulate.
252
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:20,200
Well, t‐this is exactly
what I’m talking about.
253
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,003
Nothing I do
is ever good enough for you.
254
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,407
When I was in sixth grade
I got a 96 on a test.
255
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,411
You, you asked what happened
to the other four points.
256
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,580
And now I’ve got a good job
at the newspaper
257
00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:36,249
you tell me
I should work in television.
258
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:39,019
When are you gonna be
proud of me?
259
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,387
Lawrence,
I’ve always been proud of you.
260
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,258
Well, all you do is criticize.
261
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,528
Just once
I’d like to hear you say
262
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,195
"Well done, son."
263
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,999
I, I know I criticize you a lot
264
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,402
but it’s only because I want you
to be the best you can be.
265
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,572
For heaven’s sake,
I’m always bragging about you.
266
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:02,342
I tell everyone what a,
what a wonderful son I have.
267
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,912
But you never tell me.
268
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,050
I don’t, do I?
269
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,588
I’ve always found it hard
270
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:18,024
to express my feelings...
271
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,494
...to those
that I love the most.
272
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,499
And I love you, Lawrence.
273
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,503
[instrumental music]
274
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,073
I love you, too, dad.
275
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,522
[panting]
276
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,130
‐Thank God!
‐Balki.
277
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,533
Could, could you give us
just, uh, another minute?
278
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,635
‐Huh?
‐Please?
279
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,383
Except for the fact
that we’re going to die soon...
280
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,220
...I’ve never been happier.
281
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,656
Well, we’re not dead yet
282
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,991
so let’s try to find a way
to get out of here.
283
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,159
[chuckles]
284
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:29,162
[water bubbling]
285
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,532
[grunting]
286
00:15:31,565 --> 00:15:32,699
Balki!
287
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,068
Just kidding, cousin.
288
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,103
Cousins should joke more!
289
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,138
[laughs]
290
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,008
Come on, we’re gonna
find a way out of here.
291
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,545
Cousin, you know,
I wish MacGyver were here.
292
00:15:44,578 --> 00:15:47,013
That man
could take a Hershey bar
293
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,149
a thumbtack and a rubber band
294
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,685
and make a bomb that would blow
the socks off that door.
295
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,054
Well, MacGyver’s
got nothing on Lawrence.
296
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,488
Remember when you got
that chemistry set
297
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,157
and you blew up the garage?
298
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,359
Yeah. I loved
that chemistry set.
299
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,427
It was the best
Christmas present I ever got.
300
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,730
I believe
it was a birthday present.
301
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,066
No, dad, I distinctly remember‐‐
302
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,034
Cousin, cousin, cousin
303
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,537
i‐is that the chemistry set
you won’t let me play with?
304
00:16:10,571 --> 00:16:14,074
Balki, it’s dangerous. That’s
why we keep it in the basement.
305
00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:18,344
‐The basement!
‐The basement!
306
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,013
Guys! Guys!
307
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:23,049
That chemistry set
could be in the basement!
308
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:26,019
[instrumental music]
309
00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:33,627
(Larry)
Sulfur.
310
00:16:37,598 --> 00:16:39,666
‐Potash.
‐ Gesundheit.
311
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,371
Give me the potash.
312
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,211
There.
313
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,282
Was it 75% fulminate of zinc
314
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,785
or potassium nitrate?
315
00:16:58,819 --> 00:17:01,655
Who are we kidding? He can’t
even make instant coffee.
316
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,257
Listen, pal.
317
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,259
If my son can blow up
an entire garage
318
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:08,294
he can certainly blow up
a little door.
319
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:10,396
Thanks, dad.
320
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,470
Come on, Larry, you can do it.
321
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:20,574
I don’t know.
It’s not coming back to me.
322
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:23,143
Well, if it were me, Larry,
I’d go with 10% potash
323
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,712
15% sulfur and 75% zinc.
324
00:17:30,751 --> 00:17:32,719
We used to summer in Beirut.
325
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,429
Alright.
326
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,499
I think we’re ready.
327
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:51,572
Now I need something to use
as a fuse.
328
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,808
Uh, how about your tie?
329
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,244
Mine won’t work. It’s wet.
330
00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:01,848
We could use Mr. Gorpley’s tie.
331
00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:05,218
It’s dry and it’s making
a nifty fashion statement.
332
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:09,556
Wait a minute.
This is a $50 tie.
333
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:11,792
‐Ooh!
‐Just give them the tie, Sam.
334
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,327
Okay, it’s yours.
335
00:18:23,504 --> 00:18:25,438
Alright, now I need something
to light it with.
336
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,308
Oh, wait.
337
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,412
Dad.
338
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,715
It’s the lighter I gave you
when I was ten.
339
00:18:34,748 --> 00:18:36,817
Yes, it is.
340
00:18:37,651 --> 00:18:38,885
And you were eleven.
341
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,891
Alright, Balki,
lift me up on your shoulders
342
00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:46,793
so I can reach the doorknob.
343
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:49,796
[dramatic music]
344
00:18:58,839 --> 00:19:00,941
Uh, come on, girls.
Better get down.
345
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,275
This could be dangerous.
346
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,278
[grunting]
347
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,215
[grunting]
348
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:13,854
‐’Be careful, Larry!’
‐’Let’s go!’
349
00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:16,389
‐’Uh, door, door.’
‐’Hurry, Balki, hurry!’
350
00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:18,391
[indistinct chatter]
351
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:20,794
[indistinct yelling]
352
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,703
You burned a $50 tie
for nothing?
353
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,705
I could have been buried
in that tie.
354
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:34,708
[explosion]
355
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,443
[all cheering]
356
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,980
Alright, come on!
357
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,849
‐Let’s get outta here!
‐Wait a minute! Wait a minute.
358
00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:47,320
Well done, son.
359
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,456
Now let’s get out of here.
360
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,459
[instrumental music]
361
00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:01,234
Gee, dad, I wish you didn’t
have to leave so soon.
362
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,803
Well, I gotta be back by 7:00
363
00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:06,372
and if I leave now, I’ll miss
the rush hour on I‐94.
364
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,274
Oh! Oh, uh, dad...
365
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,977
‐Uh, your shoes are still wet.
‐Oh.
366
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:13,313
But I stuffed them with paper
367
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,815
so they’ll be okay
’til you get home.
368
00:20:14,848 --> 00:20:16,449
Well, now,
if you get your shoes wet
369
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:17,751
and you don’t put
shoe trees in ’em
370
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,252
you can kiss ’em goodbye.
371
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:22,422
Well, no, dad, the paper
will absorb the moisture.
372
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,959
Lawrence, how many shoes
have you dried?
373
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,428
Today? Fourteen.
374
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,633
Well, then I guess
you know what you’re doing.
375
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,035
Thanks, dad.
376
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,770
Uncle Walter
377
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,773
I made you a nice, big plate
of moogli boozachmonk
378
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,007
to take back to Madison.
379
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:43,677
Oh! Well, what is it?
380
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,779
Pig bladder stuffed with cheese.
381
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,483
‐Can I tempt you?
‐Uh...
382
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,785
Maybe later.
383
00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:56,322
Uh, Balki, I can honestly say
384
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:58,491
that meeting you
is an experience
385
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,061
I will never forget.
386
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,564
You know,
a lot of people say that.
387
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:07,734
Oh, oh, I‐I almost forgot.
388
00:21:07,768 --> 00:21:10,470
Dad, I wouldn’t eat those
389
00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:12,438
or you’ll be stopping a lot.
390
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,643
Ah. Thank you
for the advice, son.
391
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,313
Oh, thank you, Cousin Larry.
392
00:21:21,081 --> 00:21:22,583
Oh, well...
393
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:25,418
...thank you.
394
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,688
‐Bye, Balki.
‐Bye, Uncle Walter.
395
00:21:28,589 --> 00:21:29,590
Bye, son.
396
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:31,625
Goodbye, dad.
397
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:39,666
Balki, I want to thank you
398
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:41,535
for making me
have that talk with my dad.
399
00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:42,603
Ah, cousin.
400
00:21:42,636 --> 00:21:43,970
Now, you Mypiots may not have
401
00:21:44,004 --> 00:21:45,806
television or radio
402
00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:48,509
or indoor plumbing
403
00:21:48,542 --> 00:21:50,911
but you really know
how to talk to each other.
404
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,380
There isn’t
that much else to do.
405
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:59,485
You know, it’s like
we always say on Mypos
406
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,423
"A few well‐chosen words
with a loved one
407
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:06,092
"are worth more than the picture
408
00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:08,461
"that came with the frame
409
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:11,765
even if that picture
is Olivia Newton‐John."
410
00:22:17,738 --> 00:22:20,106
Words to live by.
411
00:22:20,140 --> 00:22:21,141
I’ll tell you what?
412
00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:23,777
Let’s just relax
for the rest of the weekend.
413
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:25,612
Hey, great idea.
414
00:22:25,646 --> 00:22:27,514
What do you say
we go get two towels
415
00:22:27,548 --> 00:22:29,550
go down to the basement
and take a dip?
416
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:33,520
I’ll call the girls?
417
00:22:33,554 --> 00:22:36,489
[instrumental music]
418
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:43,897
[theme music]
419
00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:11,792
[music continues]