1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:03,637
[theme music]

2
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,748
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:17,383
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

4
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:20,554
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:24,825
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

6
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♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪

7
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♪ Nothing’s gonna
stand in my way ♪

8
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♪ This flame in my heart ♪

9
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♪ Like a long lost friend ♪

10
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:38,071
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

11
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♪ Standing tall ♪

12
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

13
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♪ Rise and fall ♪

14
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

15
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♪ The rain and thunder ♪

16
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♪ The wind and haze ♪

17
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♪ I’m bound for better days ♪

18
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♪ It’s my life ♪

19
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:03,229
♪ And my dream ♪

20
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,766
♪ Nothing’s going
to stop me now ♪

21
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,735
[music continues]

22
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:18,579
[instrumental music]

23
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,119
I can’t believe
this is happening.

24
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:28,388
Jennifer’s father
comes to town...

25
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,423
...it’s my big chance
to impress him

26
00:01:30,456 --> 00:01:33,393
and I slam the taxi
door on his hand.

27
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,363
Well, cousin,
look on the bright side.

28
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,465
Maybe the pain in his hand
will make him forget

29
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:42,402
you set his
necktie on fire.

30
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,806
I was just trying to light
his after‐dinner cigar.

31
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,674
A‐and I put the fire out.

32
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:48,909
Well, that’s true.

33
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,811
Throwing that glass
of red wine on him

34
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,313
was real quick thinking.

35
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:55,481
I knew I should have
ordered white wine.

36
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,586
Jennifer and her father
are on their way up.

37
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,722
I think his hand’s okay.

38
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,124
But he tripped over
your bike on the stairs.

39
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:08,595
Why are we
stopping here?

40
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,597
Can’t we just
go upstairs?

41
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,168
Mr. Lyons,
I‐I am so sorry.

42
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,437
I am just
so, so sorry.

43
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,339
[stammering]
Uh, uh, put your
hand in this ice.

44
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,508
‐Ah!
‐I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

45
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,810
I‐I‐I just wish there
was something I could do.

46
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,279
Larry. Larry, relax.

47
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,948
Accidents do happen.

48
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,383
Just usually not
with this frequency.

49
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,286
Uh, hey, everyone.

50
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,255
I think it might
be time for dessert.

51
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,290
It’s an old family recipe.

52
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,259
Stuki mookie ping pong.

53
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,830
Stewed prunes
with lucky charms.

54
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:50,403
Can I tempt you?

55
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:52,405
No, thanks.
I’m cutting down.

56
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,275
Can we go now?

57
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,543
I just wanna get up
in the morning

58
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,411
and play a little golf.

59
00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,713
Golf?

60
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,447
You play golf?

61
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:04,284
Well, that’s great!
I play golf too.

62
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:06,720
You play golf?

63
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,789
Yeah, I’m a terrific golfer.

64
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,991
Why don’t we put
together a foursome?

65
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,694
Larry, you play golf?

66
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,331
Fine. We’ll play
Saturday morning.

67
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,266
Now, can we go?

68
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,536
It’s been a very
strenuous evening.

69
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:23,770
‐Bye.
‐Goodnight.

70
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,739
Thanks for
the stuki mookie ping pong.

71
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,476
Gee, Larry, I didn’t
know you played golf.

72
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:34,314
[instrumental music]

73
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,691
Balki...look at this.

74
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,827
‐What do you think?
‐I love it.

75
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,895
Absolutely love it.

76
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,232
What is it?

77
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:55,268
It’s called
the Swing Doctor.

78
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,704
See, the ball is
attached to a computer

79
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,272
that analyzes
your golf swing

80
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:00,541
and tells you
exactly how far

81
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,275
and in what direction
you hit the ball.

82
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,244
Hold the phone book.

83
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,549
Are you still trying
to convince me you can golf?

84
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,951
[sighs]
Balki, I can play golf.

85
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,820
‐Here. Come on. Watch this.
‐Oh, ho, ho, ho.

86
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,668
(Swing Doctor)
’Two hundred and forty yards’

87
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:28,902
’straight down the fairway.’

88
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,672
(Swing Doctor)
Excellent shot.

89
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,808
It talks.

90
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,480
And it says that
you’re a good golfer.

91
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,383
Well, don’t that turn
my brown eyes blue.

92
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,822
Cousin, I owe
you an apology.

93
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,757
‐I’m sorry.
‐That’s okay, Balki.

94
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,959
Cousin, can I play
with the doctor of swing?

95
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,796
Uh, sure, be my guest.

96
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:59,533
Boy, this is lighter
than what we use on Mypos.

97
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,069
You have golf on Mypos?

98
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:06,039
Well, we have
bang bong poki noki waki yahoo.

99
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:12,412
"Bang bong poki
noki waki yahoo?"

100
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,948
Yeah, it’s played with
fence posts and jagged rocks.

101
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:17,884
Cousin.

102
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,555
[clears throat]

103
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:29,395
Bang bong poki noki waka waka‐‐

104
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:31,632
Alright, h‐h‐hold it,
hold it, hold it.

105
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,103
What are you doing?

106
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,105
I’m winding up my waka waka.

107
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,510
Balki.

108
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:47,347
This isn’t bang bong
poki noki waki yahoo.

109
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,617
This is golf.

110
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:51,785
If you’re gonna play golf

111
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,153
you might as well
do it right.

112
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,556
Here. Now.

113
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:59,092
Golf is played
with a very loose

114
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:02,563
relaxed and graceful swing.

115
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,697
Alright?

116
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:07,568
Now, grasp the club
lightly like this.

117
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,835
Okay?

118
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,904
Take an easy stance.

119
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,642
Stay loose on your feet.

120
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,546
Alright.

121
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,114
Lock your elbows.

122
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,549
Lock your wrists.

123
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,750
Lock your knees.

124
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,752
Lock your neck.

125
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,757
Okay, go ahead,
take a swing.

126
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,936
(Swing Doctor)
Nine yards to the left.

127
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,607
(Swing Doctor)
You could throw it further.

128
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,446
If you haven’t got
anything nice to say

129
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,448
don’t say anything at all.

130
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,820
Besides, I’m going
to do better on Saturday.

131
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,455
Saturday?

132
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:05,191
That’s when we go golfing
with Jennifer and her papa.

133
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,927
Uh, I, I‐I’m sorry.

134
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,697
I‐I‐I wasn’t planning on
asking you to play with us.

135
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,466
Why not?

136
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:17,904
What I need is
a partner who can...golf.

137
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,708
Oh. Well, okay.

138
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,143
I understand.

139
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,911
But if you ever
need someone to play

140
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:28,214
bang bong poki noki waki yahoo,
you will call me?

141
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,551
You’ll be the first.

142
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,587
Just remember, you need
28 players on each team.

143
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:38,692
[knocking on door]

144
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,930
Oh, Jennifer.
Come on in.

145
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,600
Hi, um, Larry, I
wanted to talk to you

146
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,570
about the golf game on Saturday.

147
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:53,540
I know. You think I lied
about being able to play golf.

148
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:57,010
I happen to be
an excellent golfer.

149
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,613
You mean, you didn’t
lie about this?

150
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,147
No.

151
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:04,551
I was counting on you
lying about this.

152
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,653
But this is the one time
I don’t have to lie.

153
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,154
I’m good.

154
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:11,825
Why is this so hard
for everyone to accept?

155
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:14,661
Larry, my father
is a very bad golfer

156
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,129
and a very bad loser.

157
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,798
Now, if you beat him at golf

158
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,967
well, it’ll be...even
worse than last night if...

159
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,636
...if that’s possible.

160
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:27,007
Oh, well, then it’s simple.

161
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,842
I won’t beat him.

162
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,777
Thank you, Larry.

163
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,046
But I really am good.

164
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,883
Well, now all we need
is a really terrible golfer

165
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,919
to play with us.
Do you know anyone?

166
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,689
‐Hi, Jennifer.
‐Hi.

167
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,958
I think I can
come up with someone.

168
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,530
[instrumental music]

169
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,608
Wow!

170
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,245
This is some pasture.

171
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,884
I wonder how they get the sheep
to eat the grass so evenly.

172
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,963
Larry, why don’t
you tee off first?

173
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:24,931
Sure.

174
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,835
Don’t make it too obvious.

175
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:32,238
Don’t worry, I can make
a golf ball do anything.

176
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,101
I guess I got
under it again.

177
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,805
Thought I solved
that problem.

178
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,207
Apparently not.

179
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,742
That’s one stroke.

180
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,314
Boy, you are good.

181
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,883
That’s one of the worst
shots I ever saw.

182
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,185
Thank you.

183
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:20,987
[clears throat]

184
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,203
Rotten tee!

185
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,439
It’s much too low for me.

186
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,708
But excellent form,
sir. Really nice.

187
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,110
Balki, you’re up.

188
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,395
Waka waka waka

189
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,130
waka waka yahoo!

190
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,971
What the hell was that?

191
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,911
Offhand, I’d
say 260 yards

192
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,746
straight down
the middle of the fairway.

193
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,285
It’s been nice
dating you, Larry.

194
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,054
Quite a shot, Balki.

195
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,723
Thank you very much.

196
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:31,892
Just what is your handicap?

197
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,929
Mostly the accent.

198
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,899
[instrumental music]

199
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:45,205
[instrumental music]

200
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,046
Balki...

201
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,248
...in the apartment
you were terrible.

202
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:58,218
Out here you’re hitting
the ball a mile. What happened?

203
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,253
Well, cousin, you know
after the other day

204
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:02,188
when I struck out
with the Swing Doctor

205
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,490
I took some private time

206
00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:06,960
and I came to a concussion.

207
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:13,366
I really stink
at American golf.

208
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,768
Now, on the other hand

209
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,970
I’m not one
to blow my own nose

210
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:21,474
but...I’m pretty terrific

211
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,377
at bang bong poki
noki waki yahoo.

212
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,347
So I decided to just
do what comes naturally

213
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,783
even if, as you say,
it makes me look like

214
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,752
I’ve been struck
by lightning.

215
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:34,420
Balki...

216
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,322
...you’re beating Mr. Lyons.

217
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:39,225
Well, it would
be hard not to.

218
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:45,131
‐Mr. Lyons is our guest.
‐I know that.

219
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:49,970
It is against the rules...
to beat the guest.

220
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:53,473
‐Oh, why you didn’t tell me?
‐Well, I assumed you knew.

221
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:55,441
[imitating Larry]
No, I didn’t know.

222
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:02,583
Well, you know, I personally
would never say this.

223
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,951
But there are those
who would call

224
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,520
what you’re doing...

225
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,090
...cheating.

226
00:13:11,592 --> 00:13:14,961
Cousin, I, I, I have
never cheated in my life.

227
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,029
‐I know.
‐Ever.

228
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:16,930
‐I know.
‐Ever.

229
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,065
I know, Balki,
that’s why I just wanted

230
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,034
to point it out to you.

231
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,207
Cousin, I don’t want
to cheat Mr. Lyons.

232
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,876
I don’t want
to cheat anybody.

233
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,444
Alright, what
you have to do

234
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,346
is just continue
to hit the ball

235
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,349
as far and as
hard as you can...

236
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:40,153
...but don’t get it
anywhere near the hole...

237
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,288
...until you’ve hit it
10 or 11 times.

238
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:48,128
‐Like Mr. Lyons is doing?
‐Yes. Yes.

239
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,196
Exactly like
Mr. Lyons is doing.

240
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,598
And then everything
will be okay?

241
00:13:51,632 --> 00:13:54,300
Then everyone
will be happy.

242
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,469
Thank you for
the tip, cousin.

243
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,439
I will do my best
to do my worst.

244
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,243
[instrumental music]

245
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,410
Waka waka waka

246
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:07,147
waka waka waka yahoo.

247
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,616
Seven.

248
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,623
Waka waka waka

249
00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:17,891
waka waka waka.

250
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,860
Yahoo.

251
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,262
Eight.

252
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,932
(Larry)
Don’t overdo it.

253
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:30,604
Waka waka waka

254
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,672
waka waka waka.

255
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,607
Ya‐hoo.

256
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,008
Oops.

257
00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:38,044
What’s the score
now, Larry?

258
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,213
Well...let’s see.

259
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:46,219
You and your dad are
just one stroke behind.

260
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,589
Uh, gee, Mr. Lyons,
looks like Balki and I

261
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:51,391
just fell apart
on the back nine.

262
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,627
Well, don’t be too hard
on yourself, Larry.

263
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,395
Better players
than you have choked

264
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,997
when I put the pressure on.

265
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,371
Great shot, dad!

266
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,041
Yes, great shot, Mr. Lyons.

267
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,912
I could play better
when I was six.

268
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,616
Guys, thanks for
doing this for me.

269
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:17,217
Oh, don’t mention it.

270
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,619
Don’t worry, I won’t.

271
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:20,621
If dad knew that you
cheated and lost on purpose

272
00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:22,488
he’d be very upset.

273
00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:23,990
Thanks.

274
00:15:26,627 --> 00:15:28,361
Well, hey, my shot. Ahem.

275
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:35,368
Cousin, may I have
a private word with you?

276
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,370
Not now, Balki.
I have a putt to miss.

277
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:44,545
Cousin, you told me
I was cheating by winning.

278
00:15:44,578 --> 00:15:48,048
Instead, I’ve been
cheating by losing.

279
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,951
You made me
a cheating loser.

280
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:57,090
Which, when you think
about it, is really stupid.

281
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,627
But it’s for a good cause.

282
00:16:00,661 --> 00:16:02,262
After I miss this next putt

283
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,064
Mr. Lyons will love me.

284
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:04,998
Now, let me play.

285
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,233
Well, he won’t be
loving the real you.

286
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,703
The Larry Appleton who
loves raindrops on roses

287
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,606
and whiskers on kittens.

288
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,307
Think about it, cousin.

289
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:16,309
Someday you may
marry Jennifer.

290
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,410
What are you going to do?

291
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,581
Play bad golf
the rest of your life?

292
00:16:20,614 --> 00:16:22,448
I could live with that.

293
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,385
Well, it’s not going
to stop with golf.

294
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,220
So, I lose a few
hands of bridge

295
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,388
throw a game of checkers

296
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,390
take a dive at Pictionary.

297
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,193
Big deal.

298
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:36,630
Come on, Larry, it’s all
riding on this last putt.

299
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,099
If you miss it, I win.

300
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,371
Cousin.

301
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:49,209
This, this reminds
me of something

302
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,177
that once
happened on Mypos.

303
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:57,383
Every Friday, Devo the Butcher
used to give free soup bones

304
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,520
to all the widows
in the village.

305
00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,822
So, every Friday
Uncle Thriftos

306
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:05,792
used to dress up as a widow
to get free soup bones.

307
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:08,294
Everything was fine
until the butcher

308
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,395
fell in love with him

309
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,698
and asked him
to go out dancing.

310
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,268
Well, after one date

311
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,838
Uncle Thriftos decided
he had to give up soup

312
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,406
change his name and move
to another village.

313
00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:23,209
Is there a point to this?

314
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:26,046
Well, of course there is,
don’t be ridiculous.

315
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:30,651
Cousin, you can pretend
to be someone else

316
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:32,786
and get free soup bones.

317
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,354
But sooner or later

318
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,090
you have to dance
with the butcher.

319
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,504
Go ahead, Larry.

320
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,248
Way to go, cousin!

321
00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:07,721
I’m proud of you.

322
00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:13,459
Larry, you won.

323
00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:16,697
I just don’t
know you anymore.

324
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,405
[instrumental music]

325
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:27,874
[knocking on door]

326
00:18:27,908 --> 00:18:29,309
Come in.

327
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,749
Balki, um, is Larry home?

328
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,719
No, but I expect him any minute.

329
00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:40,220
I, uh...

330
00:18:40,921 --> 00:18:42,889
...I want to apologize.

331
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:45,191
Oh‐h‐h.

332
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,363
I accept.

333
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:53,266
Balki, he wants
to apologize to Larry.

334
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,400
Oh.

335
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,536
Dad and I
had a long talk

336
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:57,237
about his temper
on the golf course.

337
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,506
And I admitted that
I asked Larry to lose

338
00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:01,341
so dad wouldn’t
get angry.

339
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,343
I really feel
awful about this.

340
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,478
I mean, I hope Larry
will forgive me.

341
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,384
Jennifer, Mr. Lyons.

342
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,720
Larry, I have
something to say to you.

343
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:16,189
Well, I have something
I wanna say to you.

344
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:17,858
There’s something that’s
been really bugging me

345
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:19,826
and I have to get
it off my chest.

346
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:20,894
No, you don’t, cousin.

347
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,495
Yes, I have to say this.

348
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,564
Well, you know,
I don’t think you‐‐

349
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:24,865
Balki. Balki‐‐

350
00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:26,833
‐Listen to him, Larry. Really‐‐
‐We should just sit down and‐‐

351
00:19:26,867 --> 00:19:28,969
Balki, please.
Please! Please!

352
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,304
Just let me do this!

353
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:41,715
Mr. Lyons, I‐I was
gonna let you win at golf

354
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:44,751
because I...like
your daughter.

355
00:19:44,785 --> 00:19:46,386
Super. Anyone for coffee?

356
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,588
Balki.

357
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:48,889
Please.

358
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,895
I could have beaten
the socks off you

359
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:57,598
but I‐I wanted you to like me.

360
00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,233
And now I realize that
what you think of me

361
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:01,935
shouldn’t be
so important.

362
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,237
What is important is
what Jennifer thinks of me

363
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,839
and what I think of me.

364
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,909
Frankly, sir,
I think you’re

365
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:09,976
a pompous old duffer

366
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,746
who couldn’t putt his
way out of a paper bag.

367
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,849
Are you finished now?

368
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,818
Yeah, I think that
about covers it.

369
00:20:17,851 --> 00:20:19,786
Now what did
you wanna say?

370
00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:23,223
I wanted
to apologize to you.

371
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,362
You couldn’t
try to stop me?

372
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:32,899
Cousin, wild turkeys
couldn’t stop you.

373
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,570
Larry, I deserved all that.

374
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,505
Somewhere along the line
I seem to have

375
00:20:38,539 --> 00:20:40,006
lost sight
of the fact that golf

376
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,475
is supposed to be fun.

377
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:45,546
I’m sorry I acted like
a pompous old duffer.

378
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,949
Well...

379
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:52,052
...golf does strange
things to people.

380
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,620
It certainly does to me.

381
00:20:53,654 --> 00:20:56,056
Look, next time...

382
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,324
...let’s play for real.

383
00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,293
Alright, I’d like that.

384
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:02,996
It was nice meeting you, Balki.

385
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,965
You really know your way
around a golf course.

386
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:06,432
Well, thank you very much

387
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,334
but it’s really
not that difficult.

388
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,303
All the holes are numbered.

389
00:21:14,808 --> 00:21:16,777
I’ll have to look
for that next time.

390
00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:17,844
[laughing]

391
00:21:17,878 --> 00:21:19,746
Well, goodbye, everybody.

392
00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:21,081
See you upstairs, Jen.

393
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,583
Goodbye, sir.

394
00:21:24,885 --> 00:21:26,753
Oh, I’m proud of you, Larry.

395
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:29,623
It was wonderful the way
you stood up to my father.

396
00:21:43,604 --> 00:21:45,739
I could call your mother
and give her a piece of my mind.

397
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:50,010
That’s okay, Larry.

398
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:52,713
Well, I’ll, um...
see you tomorrow.

399
00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:55,816
‐Bye‐bye.
‐Bye, Balki.

400
00:21:55,849 --> 00:21:57,017
Bye.

401
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:04,357
Cousin, you did
the right thing.

402
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:06,359
Well, thanks, Balki.

403
00:22:07,661 --> 00:22:10,063
I finally realized that...

404
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,465
...honesty is the best policy.

405
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:15,401
Well, then maybe
a little bit of me

406
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:17,370
is rubbing off on you.

407
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:21,575
You know,
this...truth stuff

408
00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:24,077
works like gangbusters.

409
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,981
I mean, women
really go for it.

410
00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:35,055
[theme music]

411
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:45,666
[theme music]

412
00:23:13,994 --> 00:23:16,930
[music continues]