1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:02,603
[theme music]

2
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:13,780
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
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♪ Nothin’ to rearrange ♪

4
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♪ Sometimes you just
get a feelin’ ♪

5
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♪ Like you need
some kinda change ♪

6
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♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪

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♪ Nothing’s gonna
stand in my way ♪

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♪ This flame in my heart ♪

9
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♪ And a long lost friend ♪

10
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♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

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♪ Standin’ tall ♪

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♪ On the wings
of my dreams ♪

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♪ Rise and fall ♪

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♪ On the wings
of my dreams ♪

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♪ The rain and thunder ♪

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♪ The wind and haze
are bound for better days ♪

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♪ My life my dream ♪

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♪ Nothing’s gonna
stop me now ♪

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[instrumental music]

20
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Cousin, hi.

21
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I just hear the greatest joke
at night school.

22
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Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Let me decompose myself.

23
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Okay, listen to this.

24
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I just drove in from LA

25
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and, boy, are my arms tired.

26
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No, no, no. I didn’t tell
that right. Wait a minute.

27
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Balki, uh, I’d love to hear
a joke but I’m kinda busy.

28
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Oh, cousin.
What? What you’re doing?

29
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Well, I’m making my selections

30
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for the football pool at work.

31
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‐Football pool?
‐A football pool.

32
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Well, feed me garlic
and call me stinky.

33
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I didn’t even know
they had a pool at work

34
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let alone one large enough
to play football in.

35
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:20,340
Balki, a football pool
is like a lottery.

36
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:21,808
For a dollar,
you pick the teams

37
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you think you’re gonna
win on Sunday.

38
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And whoever picks
the most winners, wins.

39
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Ooh‐wow!

40
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What does the winner who picks
the most winners

41
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wind up winning?

42
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Well, usually around $65.

43
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Get out of the city!

44
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Sixty five dollars?
I want to play.

45
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Here’s my dollar.

46
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‐What do I do next?
‐Well...

47
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Just circle all the teams
you think are gonna win.

48
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,438
Uh, Balki, keep in mind

49
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:56,309
picking winning football teams
is very complicated.

50
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If you have any
questions at all...

51
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...don’t be afraid to ask.

52
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Where do I turn this in?

53
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Okay, no, no. No‐no,
that wasn’t it, that wasn’t it.

54
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I got it now,
I got it.

55
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I just took a Bosnian
from Denver

56
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and boy
are my arms tired.

57
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Wait a minute,
no, no, no.

58
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‐That wasn’t it.
‐I didn’t think so.

59
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Boy, comedy is tough.

60
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Uh, Bartokomous.

61
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I don’t know
how you did it

62
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but you won
the football pool.

63
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Balki won
the football pool?

64
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,831
Balki won the football pool?

65
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,967
Balki won
the football pool?

66
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,370
How much did he win?

67
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,439
Well, you
would have won $65

68
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if it weren’t
for that darn immigrant rule.

69
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,847
Sam, give him his money

70
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,015
or I’ll print the letter
your ex‐wife wrote

71
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to my advice column.

72
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You‐you know, the one she signed
"short‐changed in Chicago."

73
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Hey, I guess, we can waive
the rule this week.

74
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Thank you,
Mr. Gorpley.

75
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,032
Lydia, I heard you got
three this week.

76
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You getting outside help?

77
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I’m gonna print
the letter anyway.

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♪ Money makes
the world go around ♪

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♪ The world go around ♪

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♪ The world oh oh ♪

81
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♪ Money makes
the world go around ♪

82
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,519
(Larry)
’Balki.’

83
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,922
You picked
all 13 winners.

84
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,023
How did you do that?

85
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I don’t know.

86
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,728
It‐it must have been my‐my
sheepherder’s intuition.

87
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Sheepherder’s intuition?

88
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:02,335
Yeah, cousin, now that I look
at it, it makes perfect sense.

89
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:05,305
Obviously, a bronco
can beat a colt.

90
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:12,513
And a‐a lion
could beat a Bengal.

91
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,582
After all, the lion
is king of the jungle.

92
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:21,054
And I took the bills
over the chargers

93
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because no matter
how much you keep charging

94
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,927
sooner or later
you have to pay the bill.

95
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:35,636
Well, Balki, that’s certainly
a cute little system

96
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,371
but I wouldn’t plan on
you being lucky enough

97
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to win
another pool with it.

98
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:43,409
Well, I’d rather have
a cute little system

99
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,546
than an empty
little wallet.

100
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,955
[instrumental music]

101
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:06,767
Appleton, here’s your pick sheet
for the football pool.

102
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,003
‐I’ll need one for Balki.
‐Why?

103
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,073
Isn’t winning the last five
weeks in a row enough for him?

104
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,918
Yeah, uh, hello, Tom?
Yeah, uh, this is Larry.

105
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:28,421
Yeah, uh, are, uh, are you
still betting with a bookie?

106
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,526
Well, could I have his name?

107
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,694
The Mole?

108
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,964
Is that a...family name?

109
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,434
Well, could you
give me his number?

110
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’Cause I‐I wanna make
some football bets.

111
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I’ve got a sure thing.

112
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Yeah.

113
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Thank you.

114
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,852
Okay, cousin,
I got it now.

115
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,554
Listen to this.

116
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,991
I just flew in from LA

117
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:08,128
and, boy, am I tired.

118
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,900
No, no, no, no,
it’s‐it’s missing something.

119
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,837
Balki, what‐what?
What happened to you?

120
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,239
Oh. Uh. Cousin.

121
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,174
This just isn’t my day.

122
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,510
I was, I was
in the press room

123
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,647
telling the guys how that
I won the football pool again

124
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,950
and they were just
slapping me on the back

125
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,118
and slapping me
on the front.

126
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I guess they forgot
they had ink all on their hands.

127
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:42,228
Well, well, what’s all this,
uh, yellow and green stuff?

128
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,164
Oh, that would be
a Denver omelet.

129
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,268
I was in the cafeteria
telling Millie, the waitress

130
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,204
about how that I won
the football pool again

131
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:54,775
and she accidentally dropped
the omelet into my lap.

132
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,479
Hot out of the microwave.

133
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,918
Uh, Balki, here’s your entry
for the football pool.

134
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,520
Why don’t, why don’t you
fill it out?

135
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,522
I can’t, cousin.

136
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:11,958
Somebody accidentally broke
the points off all my pencils.

137
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,761
Okay, here, use mine.

138
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,533
Well, Balki, are you gonna
suck all the fun

139
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,067
out of this week’s
football pool?

140
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,805
Oh, no, I was just about
to make my picks.

141
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,206
Oh, may I borrow
your pencil?

142
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,273
Sure.

143
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,610
[clattering]

144
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,779
Sorry.

145
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,054
Wait a minute, cousin.

146
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,992
Everything is becoming
crystal light.

147
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,666
Every time the subject
of the football pool comes up

148
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,701
somebody has an accident

149
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,136
and it’s always me.

150
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,106
I think those two things
are connected.

151
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,944
No, they’re not.

152
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,746
Hey, what‐what do you think
of the Bears this week?

153
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,948
Cousin, listen to me
I think everyone is angry

154
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,315
with me for winning
the football pool

155
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,017
and maybe
I won’t play this week.

156
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,619
No, don’t...you can’t
quit now.

157
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:13,554
Why not?

158
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,288
Well, because you’ve
made a commitment

159
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:16,690
to play the football pool.

160
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,725
And‐and you’ve got to,
live up to that.

161
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:19,860
A commitment to who?

162
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,061
To who?

163
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,764
To‐to everyone
in the pool.

164
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:25,632
To the game itself.

165
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,935
To America, to everything
this country stands for.

166
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,872
Why don’t you just
burn the flag

167
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,640
while the law’s
still vague?

168
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,812
Cousin, I don’t want
to burn the flag.

169
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:41,081
I‐I just don’t want to play
the football pool anymore.

170
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,949
I don’t want people
to be angry with me.

171
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,751
Well, if you think
they’re angry now

172
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,319
just wait till you tell them
you’re quitting.

173
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,321
Well, cousin, what if
I explain to them that

174
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:50,724
if I quit they’ll have
a better chance of winning?

175
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,259
Well, Balki, no, they,
they don’t just want to win.

176
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,995
They want
to beat you.

177
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,764
Beat me?

178
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:58,865
With a stick?

179
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,903
Cousin, it’s just a game.
Don’t let them beat me.

180
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,338
No, no, no, no, no. They don’t
wanna beat you with a stick.

181
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,708
They want to beat you
in the pool.

182
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,342
I tried to tell you,
it was complicated

183
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,345
but you insisted on playing.
I’m afraid you’re stuck.

184
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,981
So, why don’t you just, uh,
make your, make your picks?

185
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,917
Cousin, I’ll‐I’ll,
I’ll make my picks later.

186
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,384
Right‐right now,
I got to...

187
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,989
...I got to go and get
the hash browns out of my pants.

188
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,898
Balki, what’s wrong?

189
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,835
Well, for the past five weeks

190
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,203
I’ve been playing
the football pool at work.

191
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,705
Yeah?

192
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,341
And for the past
five weeks, I’ve won.

193
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,778
Oh, that would
get anybody down.

194
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:47,881
Yeah.

195
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,418
Everybody is angry
with me for winning

196
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:55,789
and I, I wish I didn’t have
to play anymore.

197
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,290
Oh, why don’t
you just quit?

198
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,292
But I want to do
but Cousin Larry said

199
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,194
that‐that would only make
people angrier

200
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,263
because they don’t
just want to win

201
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:06,032
they want to beat me.

202
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,769
Well, why don’t you
just let them?

203
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,838
Well, well how I do that?

204
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,840
Well, just
pick all the losers.

205
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:14,941
That way
you’d still be playing

206
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,210
but somebody else
could win.

207
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,212
Mary Anne,
that’s brilliant.

208
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,415
Thanks, Balki.
You inspire me.

209
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,719
You know, uh...

210
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,023
...I’m perspiring
a little myself.

211
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,966
Hi, Balki, did you fill
out your football pool?

212
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,036
‐Hi, Larry.
‐Oh, hi, Mary Anne.

213
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:44,237
I didn’t see you.

214
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,108
Uh, we were just about
to go to the movies.

215
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,075
Oh, terrific!

216
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,243
Why don’t you fill out
your football pool

217
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,178
before you go? I’ll take it
to over to Mr. Gorpley.

218
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,482
Alright. Here it goes.

219
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:01,955
Oh.

220
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,925
[giggling]

221
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,963
Finished?
Good. Okay.

222
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,933
Well, you two
have a nice evening.

223
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,500
Don’t be out late now.
Bye‐bye.

224
00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:16,169
‐Bye.
‐Bye‐bye.

225
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,346
Hello. Is this The Mole?

226
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,850
Yes, I...this‐this is
Larry Appleton.

227
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,384
Tom told me I should call.

228
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,921
Yes, I‐I want to bet
ten football games.

229
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,489
A $1,000 a game.

230
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,527
That’s right.
10,000 big ones.

231
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,771
[instrumental music]

232
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,078
(man on TV)
’And the Chiefs
beat the Jets, 45‐3.’

233
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,080
[cheering]

234
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,183
I did it! I did it.
I lost every game!

235
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,552
‐I’m so proud of you.
‐Oh.

236
00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:08,354
Thank you, Mary Anne, it will be
so nice to go to work tomorrow

237
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,423
and not have
people throw food at me.

238
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,094
Why wasn’t Larry
here to watch the games?

239
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,262
Oh, he went
to the sports grill.

240
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,599
They have ten
television sets there

241
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:20,901
so you can watch
all the games at one time.

242
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,403
I bet he’s having
the time of his life.

243
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:41,021
Cousin, are you alright?

244
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:47,193
Mary Anne, could I talk
to, uh, Balki alone?

245
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,363
I don’t see why not.

246
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,569
Oh, now.

247
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:56,937
[chuckles]
Sure.

248
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,139
I gotta go anyway.
Bye, Balki.

249
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,273
Bye, Mary Anne.

250
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,383
Balki, do you realize

251
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:13,654
you‐you didn’t pick
one single winning team?

252
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,355
I know,
isn’t it wonderful?

253
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,460
‐How did you know?
‐I copied your picks.

254
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,529
Cousin, I’m
surprised at you.

255
00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:23,997
You know
cheaters never win.

256
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,966
I know now.

257
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:33,106
How could you lose
every game?

258
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,309
Well, you know, cousin,
in a way...

259
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,978
...it was your idea.

260
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,346
See, you said that...

261
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,984
You‐you said that people
would be happy if they beat me

262
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,953
so I decided to pick
all the losers

263
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,889
and make
everybody happy.

264
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,625
Not everybody.

265
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,264
Balki...

266
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,433
...I used your picks

267
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,937
and bet $10,000
with a bookie.

268
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:09,275
You bet $10,000
with a librarian?

269
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,015
A bookie, a bookie...

270
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:18,418
...a bookie is someone who
takes bets on sporting events

271
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:22,288
and now I owe
this guy $10,000.

272
00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,992
Oh, boy, boy...

273
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,396
Cousin, you know, on Mypos
we have one of them guys

274
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,032
Jimmy, the geek.

275
00:15:36,637 --> 00:15:40,406
When you bet on the sheep races
and you don’t pay up

276
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,009
he shaves your head
and calls you baldy

277
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,444
in front
of your parents.

278
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,517
It’s ugly,
very ugly.

279
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,387
Well, Balki,
this is America.

280
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,723
Things are a little
different here.

281
00:15:56,757 --> 00:15:58,491
When bookies aren’t paid

282
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:01,662
they have been known
to break legs.

283
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:03,764
Cousin, we, we can’t
let them do that.

284
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,231
I’m going
to call the police!

285
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,400
No! No, no, no, no.
Balki, Balki, Balki.

286
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,769
You‐you can’t call the police.

287
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,170
Cousin, we have to.

288
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,505
What they’re
going to do is illegal.

289
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,773
So is betting
with a bookie.

290
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,407
Cousin, how could
you do something

291
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,509
you know was illegal?

292
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,678
I don’t know, I did it.
It was stupid. I’m sorry.

293
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:19,245
But‐but‐but
what am I gonna do?

294
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,615
Balki, he knows my name.

295
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,617
He knows where I live.

296
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,553
He knows where
I keep my knees.

297
00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:33,159
Oh, cousin.

298
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,130
What are you
going to do?

299
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,400
Well, there’s
only one thing I can do.

300
00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:43,403
I’ll bet
another $10,000

301
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,606
on tomorrow night’s game.

302
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:47,674
Cousin, I don’t know
much about the game

303
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:51,077
but if they’ll break
your legs for $10,000...

304
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,247
...for 20,000,
they might break

305
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,416
something you really need.

306
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,158
Well, that’s not
gonna happen

307
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,360
because after you pick
tomorrow night’s winner...

308
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:09,663
...I’ll be even. Alright,
let’s see, who’s playing?

309
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,698
Now, wait just a minute.
Not so fast.

310
00:17:11,732 --> 00:17:12,799
What? What‐what is it?

311
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:14,200
Cousin, the only way

312
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,836
I’m going
to go along with this

313
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:18,071
is if you promise to never

314
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:22,609
and I mean,
never, ever, ever

315
00:17:22,643 --> 00:17:24,778
bet on
a football game again.

316
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,714
Balki, I promise never

317
00:17:27,748 --> 00:17:31,351
and I mean, never,
ever, ever, ever

318
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,353
to bet on
a football game again.

319
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,721
And promise you’ll take me
to Disney World.

320
00:17:34,755 --> 00:17:37,057
And I promise,
I’ll take you to... Balki...

321
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,461
Sorry, it was
worth a shot.

322
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,664
Okay, I’ll help you.

323
00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:45,098
Alright, alright.

324
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:48,502
Now, do whatever
you need to do

325
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,404
to get your sheepherder’s
intuition to kick in.

326
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,273
Oh, I just need
to relax.

327
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,608
‐You need to relax?
‐Yeah.

328
00:17:55,776 --> 00:17:57,310
Here, put your feet up.

329
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,247
Here. Pillow? Pillow?

330
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,415
Alright.

331
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,585
Anything else?

332
00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:06,587
Uh, could you get me Dmitri?

333
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,763
Could you dim the lights?

334
00:18:20,701 --> 00:18:21,768
Alright.

335
00:18:21,802 --> 00:18:24,771
Alright, here we go.

336
00:18:25,906 --> 00:18:27,140
Ready?

337
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:29,643
Alright.

338
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:33,614
The Packers and the Browns.
Who’s gonna win?

339
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,449
Browns, Packers

340
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:39,152
Browns or Packers,
Browns or Packers...

341
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,156
What are my choices again?

342
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,359
The Browns...

343
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:47,861
...or the Packers!

344
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:52,498
The Browns or the Packers!

345
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:55,301
I don’t know, cousin, I can’t do
it under this much pressure.

346
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,237
Alright, alright.
Relax, relax, relax.

347
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,172
Relax, relax.

348
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,774
There’s no pressure.

349
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,409
There’s no pressure.

350
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,511
It’s just...

351
00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:05,679
...my life!

352
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:10,717
The Browns
or the Packers?

353
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:11,918
The Browns.

354
00:19:11,952 --> 00:19:13,219
‐The Browns?
‐Yes.

355
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,287
‐The Browns?
‐The Browns.

356
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,556
Right, come on.

357
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,696
(man on TV)
’They still have a shot of
winning this game.’

358
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,931
’The Packers have
the ball throw on 25.’

359
00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:26,667
’Salos back to pass.’

360
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,968
’Chased out of the pocket.’

361
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,403
’Going long intercepted
by the Browns!’

362
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:31,705
Yes! Yes!

363
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,940
Balki, all the Browns
have to do to win

364
00:19:33,974 --> 00:19:36,242
is to run out
30 seconds on the clock.

365
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,678
[grunts]

366
00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:38,745
[grunting]

367
00:19:40,881 --> 00:19:42,215
Oh.

368
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,350
Balki, thank you.

369
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,219
I owe you my legs

370
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:48,354
and anything else
that might have been broken.

371
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,525
‐You’re welcome, cousin.
‐Hmm.

372
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,995
Boy, after that yelling,
I could use a soda.

373
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,998
‐You want one?
‐Sure. Love one.

374
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:00,567
(man on TV)
’There’s the snap.
He hands off to Taylor.’

375
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:01,935
‐’Taylor fumbles!’
‐Fumble?

376
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,837
(man on TV)
’It’s picked up by
the Packers at the 20.’

377
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,906
’He’s at the 30.
He’s at the 40.’

378
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:07,941
’It’s a foot race.’

379
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,676
‐He’s at the 50.
‐’He’s at the 50.’

380
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:10,977
He’s at the 40.

381
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:13,780
‐’The 40...’
‐Get him! Get him!

382
00:20:13,814 --> 00:20:15,982
Hurt him!

383
00:20:16,016 --> 00:20:17,551
(man on TV)
’He may go all the way.’

384
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:18,685
Get him!

385
00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:19,853
Tackle him!

386
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,421
Kill him!

387
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:22,556
(man on TV)
’He’s at the 10...’

388
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:23,790
‐No.
‐’He’s down to the five.’

389
00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:25,025
‐No.
‐’He’s down.’

390
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:26,492
(man on TV)
’He’s down on
the one‐yard line.’

391
00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:27,561
Yes!

392
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,032
‐Is that a good thing?
‐No.

393
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,535
It’s a bad thing,
a very bad thing.

394
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,903
Balki, I’m leaving
the country.

395
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,874
(man on TV)
’Packers have time
for one last play.’

396
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,676
‐Oh, no.
‐’There’s the snap.’

397
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,545
(man on TV)
’Kenny Salo’s
back to pass.’

398
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:46,913
‐Get him. Get him!
‐Ow. Ow.

399
00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:48,014
(man on TV)
’He scrambles right.’

400
00:20:48,048 --> 00:20:49,415
[grunts]

401
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,717
Go for his knees!

402
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:52,285
Oh, God.

403
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,386
Go for his knees!

404
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,421
[groans]

405
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,357
‐’He scrambles left.’
‐Get him!

406
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,391
[groaning]

407
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,626
Get him!

408
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:04,030
Throw a cheerleader
at him!

409
00:21:05,599 --> 00:21:07,433
(man on TV)
’Ooh! He’s hit hard.’

410
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:10,537
’He fumbles into the end zone!
There’s a pileup.’

411
00:21:10,571 --> 00:21:13,406
’Whoever comes up with the ball
is going to be the winner.’

412
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:17,077
‐Who has the ball?
‐I don’t know.

413
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,412
(man on TV)
’They’re peeling off
the players.’

414
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,081
’The Browns
have the ball!’

415
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,916
’The Browns win!
The Browns win it.’

416
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,685
Yes! Yes! Balki!

417
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:26,052
Balki! Balki?

418
00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:29,322
Balki, Balki,
I won. I won!

419
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:32,025
I’m even. I get
to keep my knees.

420
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:33,326
Oh, cousin!

421
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:34,561
Now we are so happy

422
00:21:34,595 --> 00:21:35,696
we do the dance of joy.

423
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,831
[humming]

424
00:21:38,932 --> 00:21:40,400
♪ Di di di di ♪

425
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,802
♪ Di di di
di di di ♪

426
00:21:41,835 --> 00:21:44,605
(both)
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.

427
00:21:53,514 --> 00:21:54,581
[laughs]

428
00:21:54,615 --> 00:21:55,649
Balki.

429
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,985
‐I have learned my lesson.
‐Hmm.

430
00:21:59,019 --> 00:22:02,455
I will never bet
a football game again.

431
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,090
Well, cousin, that’s good.

432
00:22:04,124 --> 00:22:05,959
Sports are for fun.

433
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:08,061
They shouldn’t be
life‐threatening.

434
00:22:10,664 --> 00:22:13,433
You are
absolutely right.

435
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,868
Thanks for coming
to my rescue.

436
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,970
Hey, you’re welcome.

437
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,606
(man on TV)
’And next week,
I’ll be flying to Atlanta.’

438
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:20,974
’Boy, will my arms be tired.’

439
00:22:27,881 --> 00:22:30,383
That’s it. Atlanta.

440
00:22:32,052 --> 00:22:34,020
[theme music]

441
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,963
[theme music]