1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:02,666
[theme music]

2
00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:15,066
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
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♪ Nothin’ to rearrange ♪

4
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♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
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♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

6
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♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪

7
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♪ Nothing’s gonna stand
in my way ♪

8
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♪ This flame in my heart ♪

9
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♪ Like a long lost friend ♪

10
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♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

11
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♪ Standing tall ♪

12
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

13
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♪ Rise and fall ♪

14
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

15
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♪ The rain and thunder ♪

16
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♪ The wind and haze
I’m bound for better days ♪

17
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♪ It’s my life my dream ♪

18
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♪ Nothing’s gonna stop me now ♪

19
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[instrumental music]

20
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Cousin, hurry up.

21
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Cousin Bartok will
be here any minute.

22
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[sniffles]

23
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‐Balki?
‐Yeah.

24
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Have you washed
this sheepskin since your mama

25
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sent it from Mypos?

26
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,400
Well, of course not.
Don’t be ridiculous.

27
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If we want Cousin Bartok
to feel at home here

28
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the apartment has
to smell barnyard fresh.

29
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Cousin, did I ever
tell you about the time

30
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that Cousin Bartok and I
made a water balloons out of...

31
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(together)
...sheep bladders.

32
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And we climbed up
on the roof of...

33
00:02:09,566 --> 00:02:10,700
(together)
...Cousin Bartok’s hut.

34
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And we dropped them on...

35
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(together)
Devo the butcher.

36
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And he thought
it was a sign from God

37
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so he lowered his prices.

38
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Were you there?

39
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No. No, I was here.

40
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I was here
listening to you

41
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tell that story over
and over and over again.

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Cousin, I‐I can’t help myself.

43
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I’m just, I’m just so...

44
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I’m just so excited that,
that Cousin Bartok is coming.

45
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My favorite cousin
from Mypos is finally

46
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going to meet my favorite cousin
from America.

47
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,166
Well, I’ll be honored, Balki.

48
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,433
Uh, who knows, as long
as he’s here

49
00:02:51,466 --> 00:02:52,466
maybe we can show him
what it’s like

50
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:56,633
to be a bachelor
on the loose in Chicago, huh?

51
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Huh? Huh? Ho‐ho‐ho.

52
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[grunts]

53
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[laughing]

54
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A‐ah, ha ha!

55
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[both sighing]

56
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What are we talking about?

57
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‐Forget it.
‐Oh.

58
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Cousin, I‐I got to warn you.

59
00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:21,133
Now, um, Cousin Bartok

60
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is a kind of meek

61
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and mild and shy.

62
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He only arrived in Los Angeles
six months ago.

63
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So, you know

64
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you‐you can’t expect him

65
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to be as, Neopolitan as I am.

66
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That’s cosmopolitan.

67
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And, uh, after
the last four years

68
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I think I’m prepared
for anything.

69
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Thank you, cousin.

70
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Oh, I almost forgot
the Babo‐digo‐bo wreath.

71
00:03:50,366 --> 00:03:52,433
The Babo‐digo‐bo wreath?

72
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The traditional
Myposian welcome wreath.

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Made from the beards
of 100 un‐milked goats.

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I’ll be right back.

75
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[knock on door]

76
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Hey, hi.

77
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I’m looking for
Balki Bartokomous.

78
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Balki Bartokomous?

79
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Sorry, dude. I must have
the wrong apartment.

80
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No, no, no, no.

81
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You‐you must be Bartok.

82
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‐Yo.
‐Well, come in.

83
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Alright!

84
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’Excellent.’

85
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I hope Cousin Bartok
gets here soon.

86
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The Babo‐digo‐bo wreath
is starting to shed.

87
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Balki!

88
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Cousin Bartok!

89
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Alright.

90
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♪ Babo‐babo
digo‐digo‐bo ♪

91
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Wow! A Babo‐digo‐bo wreath.

92
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Alright. Heavy, dude.

93
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Oh, Cousin Bartok

94
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I want to introduce
you to my Cousin Larry.

95
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Cousin Larry,
Cousin Bartok.

96
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Cousin Bartok,
Cousin Larry.

97
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Well, it’s very nice
to meet you, Bartok.

98
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Likewise, dude.

99
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Just go ahead
and call me Bart

100
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that’s cash.

101
00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:16,333
Are‐are you sure
you two are just cousins?

102
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I‐I can’t believe how much
you look much alike.

103
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Oh, wow.

104
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You‐you really think so.

105
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Well, cousin, maybe a little
around the eyes

106
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,700
but I mean, it’s not like
"The Patty Duke Show."

107
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Dudes, I really appreciate
your letting me crash here

108
00:05:30,066 --> 00:05:31,733
for a couple of nights.

109
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Well, why should you
spend money on a hotel

110
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when we have a very
comfortable couch right here?

111
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,133
Oh, wow.

112
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A couch!

113
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If I didn’t
have a bad back

114
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that couch would sound
totally bodacious but...

115
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Ah, maybe I better
just scope out a hotel.

116
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A hotel!

117
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Bite you tongue off.

118
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You’re staying right here.

119
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I’ll sleep on the couch

120
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and‐and you stay
in my room.

121
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You just take your suitcase
and march right on in there.

122
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First door on the left.

123
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Alright. Excellent.

124
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Alright, B‐man.
You’re alright.

125
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Oh, dude, I almost forgot

126
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I got the taxi cab
waiting downstairs.

127
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I’m a little
lean on green.

128
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No. You look fine.

129
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I’m a little,
a little low on cash.

130
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Oh, oh, don’t worry,
Cousin Bartok.

131
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I’ll take care of cab.
You make yourself at home.

132
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Excellent.

133
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♪ But they’re cousins ♪

134
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♪ Identical cousins
and you’ll find... ♪

135
00:06:33,433 --> 00:06:35,366
Uh, B‐Bart, I‐I have to tell you

136
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you’re not at all
what I expected.

137
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I‐I thought somebody
from Mypos

138
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would be much more...Myposian.

139
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,766
Yeah, well, um...

140
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,800
Let me tell you a little story
about that, Larr.

141
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,366
Hey, mind if
I call you Larr?

142
00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:50,533
Well, uh, actually
I prefer‐‐

143
00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:52,433
Great, Larr.
Well, the deal is...

144
00:06:52,466 --> 00:06:54,800
See, uh, when,
I first hit LA

145
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:57,033
I looked like our friend
Balki out there.

146
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And, uh, people looked at me
like I was this total geek

147
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and I was like,
oh, wow, I was like bummed.

148
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,800
And then, I was lucky enough
to, uh, hook up with this dude

149
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,166
Frankie Bathgate

150
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,300
and he goes to me,
he goes, Dude.

151
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:12,566
And I go, what?

152
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,100
And he goes, oh, wow.

153
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:17,266
And I’d go, huh?

154
00:07:19,566 --> 00:07:23,366
And he goes, numero uno,
what you gotta do is get rid

155
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,766
of everything that says Mypos

156
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,666
and that includes,
like, the clothes

157
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:30,300
the accent, and anything
made out of goat hair.

158
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:34,266
Hey, um...

159
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,500
...does your apartment
always look like this?

160
00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:39,033
Well, no, Balki
decorated it this way

161
00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:41,166
so you’d feel
more at home.

162
00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:43,666
Dude, the way to really

163
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:45,133
make me feel more at home

164
00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:47,266
is to get a couple
of babes up here.

165
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,400
You know what I mean?

166
00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:50,033
[laughing]

167
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[instrumental music]

168
00:08:04,566 --> 00:08:07,366
‐Hi, Larry.
‐Hi, Lydia. Uh, Lydia?

169
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,700
I heard you met
Balki’s cousin, Bart.

170
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:11,233
What’d you think of him?

171
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:14,033
Ooh, nice.

172
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:20,300
What’d you really
think of him, Lydia?

173
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,666
Well, it may just be me

174
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:24,366
but it really turns me off
when someone says

175
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,700
hey, babe. Nice to you.

176
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,700
How many bucks
do you pull down a week?

177
00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:34,166
Well, I like the guy.

178
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,733
(Larry)
’You like him? Wait a minute.’

179
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,800
After you had breakfast
with him and Balki

180
00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:39,366
he stuck you with the check.

181
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,033
I know, that’s why I like him.

182
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,400
Everybody, everybody,
I have great news.

183
00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:48,333
Balki, you got
new sunglasses.

184
00:08:48,366 --> 00:08:50,566
Yeah. Cousin Bartok kind of
talked me into them.

185
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:53,700
Totally tubular, huh?

186
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,700
Mr. Gorpley, Miss Lydia

187
00:08:57,733 --> 00:08:59,233
I want to invite you
to a party

188
00:08:59,266 --> 00:09:00,700
I’m having
for Cousin Bartok

189
00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:02,266
on Saturday night.

190
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,466
Saturday? I thought Bart
was leaving on Wednesday.

191
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,466
That’s the good news, cousin.

192
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,533
Ah, Cousin Bartok has decided
to‐to start his business

193
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:12,200
right here in Chicago
and he’ll be staying with us

194
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:15,100
until he can find an apartment
in my price range.

195
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:21,166
Isn’t that way cool?

196
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,466
I am totally stoked!

197
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,633
Excuse me.

198
00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:27,200
I‐I’ve got to go tell
everyone else about the party.

199
00:09:28,466 --> 00:09:30,633
(Balki)
’Hey, dudes! Let’s party!’

200
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,800
You have got to hand it
to a guy who can

201
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:36,566
rip off his own family.

202
00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,400
I think I’ll go call my mother.

203
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,366
[instrumental music]

204
00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:57,500
[jazz music]

205
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,233
(Sam)
’So, Bartokomous.’

206
00:10:06,266 --> 00:10:08,633
What’s this great business idea
that Bart has?

207
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:11,433
Well, it’s really not
Cousin Bartok’s idea.

208
00:10:11,466 --> 00:10:14,633
The idea actually belongs
to a dude in California

209
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:16,233
named John Greeley.

210
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:18,166
But Cousin Bartok
has obtained

211
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,600
all the marketing rights.

212
00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:20,766
All that’s left to do

213
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,700
is the, is the wheeling
and dealing

214
00:10:24,733 --> 00:10:28,300
and shakin’ and bakin’.

215
00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:32,500
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine.
Now what’s the idea?

216
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:35,066
Hold on to your cats.

217
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:39,033
It’s a beach towel.

218
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,566
A beach towel?

219
00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:46,766
Well, move over Donald Trump.

220
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:54,166
Balki, I‐I hope this
doesn’t come as a shock

221
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,166
but they’ve already
invented the beach towel.

222
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,400
I know that.

223
00:10:58,433 --> 00:11:01,366
But not a Piece o’ the Beach
beach towel.

224
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,233
Cousin Bartok says
it’s truly bodacious.

225
00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:07,766
You see, it’s a towel,
the color of sand.

226
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,533
So it actually looks like

227
00:11:09,566 --> 00:11:11,333
a piece o’ the beach.

228
00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:15,433
But‐but‐but what happens
if you go swimming?

229
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,500
How‐how do you find
your towel again?

230
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:23,500
Wow.

231
00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,600
That is a good question.

232
00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:30,266
But I’m sure Cousin Bartok
has already thought of that.

233
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,666
He never thinks about
anything but business.

234
00:11:35,566 --> 00:11:36,633
You know...

235
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,066
...the minute I saw you...

236
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:43,066
...I knew you were awesome.

237
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:47,300
I was, like, oh, wow!

238
00:11:48,566 --> 00:11:50,566
Obliterated.

239
00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:52,800
But...

240
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,633
...there’s something missing.

241
00:11:55,833 --> 00:11:57,566
Me.

242
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,233
Oh, you’re not missing.

243
00:11:59,266 --> 00:12:00,500
You’re right here.

244
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,133
You are heavy.

245
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,366
This sounds like
a cheap come‐on line.

246
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:09,633
Forget it.

247
00:12:09,666 --> 00:12:11,200
And I’m not heavy.

248
00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:17,133
Don’t tell me.
You’re Bart‐‐

249
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:18,700
You know,
the minute I saw you...

250
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,066
...I knew you were awesome.

251
00:12:24,233 --> 00:12:28,566
I was, like, oh, wow!

252
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,433
Obliterated.

253
00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:32,600
But there’s
something missing.

254
00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,566
And you’re right.
It’s me.

255
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,433
I see you’ve, uh,
met Jennifer

256
00:12:40,466 --> 00:12:41,633
my girlfriend.

257
00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:46,466
And‐and she’s a total babe.

258
00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:51,300
I should know.
I am licensed babe‐tician.

259
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,300
[laughing]

260
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,100
Where do I
come up with them?

261
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,533
Uh, Jennifer,
would you mind seeing

262
00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:05,733
if the rest of
the Cheddar puffs are ready?

263
00:13:05,766 --> 00:13:08,466
Sure, um, nice
meeting you, Bart.

264
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:09,700
Later, babe.

265
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,666
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.

266
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:15,133
Larr, major wipe out
on my part.

267
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,233
Way sorry, dude.

268
00:13:17,266 --> 00:13:20,266
Look, Bart never hits
on another dude’s lady.

269
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,366
Well, I’m happy
to hear that, Bart.

270
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,366
Listen, Larr, I got
some killer news.

271
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,666
I finally got the financial
backing for my project

272
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:30,366
and I’ll be getting
my own pad this week.

273
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,433
Well, that is killer news.

274
00:13:33,466 --> 00:13:35,500
Well, congratulations.
Who’s your backer?

275
00:13:35,533 --> 00:13:37,166
Everyone! Everyone!

276
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,000
I have an announcement to make.

277
00:13:39,633 --> 00:13:41,100
Uh, Cousin Bartok

278
00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:42,433
would you join me, please?

279
00:13:44,666 --> 00:13:46,566
Hit it, Balkman.

280
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:50,800
Uh, Cousin Bartok and I are
going into business together.

281
00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:53,800
Um, with his keen
business instincts

282
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,800
and my life savings

283
00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:57,333
I don’t see
how we can miss.

284
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,000
[instrumental music]

285
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,066
[instrumental music]

286
00:14:15,766 --> 00:14:18,400
Okay, cousin, here we go.

287
00:14:18,433 --> 00:14:20,533
Balki, where‐where’s Bart?

288
00:14:20,566 --> 00:14:22,400
It would’ve been nice
if he helped us clean up.

289
00:14:22,433 --> 00:14:24,333
Oh, he’s playing basketball.

290
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,500
Basketball?

291
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,300
‐At 1 o’clock in the morning?
‐Yeah.

292
00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:30,800
He told me he was
going to play

293
00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:34,466
a little one on one with
Ms. Kelly from advertising.

294
00:14:39,066 --> 00:14:40,166
Balki.

295
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,600
We have to talk.

296
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,100
I know what
you’re going to say.

297
00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:47,533
‐You do?
‐Yes, I do.

298
00:14:47,566 --> 00:14:49,333
And I couldn’t
agree with you more.

299
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,400
Cousin, I’m
as tired as you are

300
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:56,500
of always having
Cheddar puffs at our parties.

301
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:58,566
Now, I thought,
maybe, we could have‐‐

302
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,500
No, Balki.
No. No. Balki.

303
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,033
Balki. Balki.

304
00:15:03,066 --> 00:15:06,233
I‐I don’t wanna, uh,
talk about hors d’oeuvres.

305
00:15:06,266 --> 00:15:09,333
I wanna talk about
this beach towel business.

306
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,733
You know, it sounds very...

307
00:15:12,766 --> 00:15:14,266
...risky.

308
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:15,233
Oh, well...

309
00:15:15,266 --> 00:15:17,766
Cousin Bartok and I have
talked about the risk

310
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,066
and we agree it’s
a no‐prob situation.

311
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:25,366
As he says, you have
to spend money to make money.

312
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,766
Balki, he’s using
the fact that he’s a relative

313
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,600
to take your money.

314
00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:31,466
Cousin, on Mypos

315
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,666
family trusts one another.

316
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,666
Balki, LA
did something to him.

317
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,466
He’s changed.

318
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,233
Cousin, just because he

319
00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:43,566
dresses different
and talks different

320
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,666
and acts different

321
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:49,000
don’t mean that
he’s different.

322
00:15:51,766 --> 00:15:53,333
Balki

323
00:15:53,366 --> 00:15:56,266
if it walks like a duck
and quacks like a duck

324
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,533
chances are, it’s a duck.

325
00:16:05,666 --> 00:16:09,500
Now, you‐you were talking
about my Cousin Bartok

326
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,200
and then, you’re
talking about a duck.

327
00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:16,466
I know it’s late
and‐and you’re tired

328
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,633
so I’m gonna give
you some time

329
00:16:19,666 --> 00:16:21,300
to organize your thoughts.

330
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:24,233
[instrumental music]

331
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,700
Larr, dude!
What’s happenin’?

332
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,400
Everything leveled out
and cool, bro‐heim?

333
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,533
Hey, is the Balkster home?

334
00:16:44,066 --> 00:16:47,200
No, the Balkster
is at the bank

335
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:48,466
transferring his life savings

336
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,500
into his checking account.

337
00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:52,700
Alright, ’cause
I’m psyched to get

338
00:16:52,733 --> 00:16:54,133
the ball rolling on this deal.

339
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:56,033
I noticed.

340
00:16:56,066 --> 00:16:58,333
Bart, I know
what you’re doing

341
00:16:58,366 --> 00:17:00,366
and I am not gonna
let you get your hands

342
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,100
on Balki’s money.

343
00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,366
Oh, wow!

344
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,466
I catch what’s going on here.

345
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,266
I come up
with the most happenin’

346
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,700
outer‐lunar,
money‐making scheme

347
00:17:10,733 --> 00:17:12,333
since the talking teddy bear

348
00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,100
and I don’t offer you
a piece of it.

349
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,733
[laughs]
Oh, well, Larr.

350
00:17:15,766 --> 00:17:18,033
You have every right
to be angry.

351
00:17:18,066 --> 00:17:20,000
Mea culpa, amigo.

352
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:23,533
Larr, I’ll let you in
on the deal.

353
00:17:23,566 --> 00:17:25,000
Go ahead and get your checkbook.

354
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,100
Oh, look,
my two favorite cousins.

355
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:34,100
I’m so happy
you’re getting along.

356
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:36,166
Balkman, glad you made it.

357
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,433
I was startin’ to worry.

358
00:17:37,466 --> 00:17:40,100
Oh, don’t worry. Be happy.

359
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,333
It’s check writing time.

360
00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:43,800
Now wait a minute, Balki.

361
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,800
There’s something
you should know.

362
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:48,066
I did a little investigating.

363
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,666
I called the west coast.

364
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,533
I talked to the designer of

365
00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:53,566
the Piece o ’the beach,
beach towel.

366
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,733
Oh, wow. You talked
to Mr. Greely?

367
00:17:55,766 --> 00:17:59,233
Yes, and according to him,
Bart has absolutely

368
00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:02,266
no marketing rights
to the towel at all.

369
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,766
Cousin, I thought you had
an agreement with Mr. Greely.

370
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,600
But hey, no biggie.
I mean, I get...

371
00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:09,366
Those‐those rights
are just a phone call away.

372
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,533
I can reach out and touch
the dude tonight.

373
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,300
Bart, it won’t matter.

374
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,466
Mr. Greely said he has
no intention of ever

375
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:18,633
giving you those rights.

376
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,500
Oh, wow!

377
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,633
Major downer.

378
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,733
But hey,
there’s like, you know

379
00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:28,633
there’s like a zillion killer
ideas out there.

380
00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,400
Like, I heard‐I heard
one the other day.

381
00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:32,033
Pet rock candy.

382
00:18:32,066 --> 00:18:33,766
Blow my mind!

383
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,133
Balki, with my brains

384
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:38,300
and you’re righteous bucks

385
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:39,533
we can make it happen.

386
00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,133
Bart, it’s over.

387
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:44,033
You’re the last person on Earth

388
00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:45,566
Balki would lend money to.

389
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,133
Balki, what are you doing?

390
00:18:48,466 --> 00:18:50,700
I’m writing a check
for my life savings.

391
00:18:50,733 --> 00:18:53,800
‐You’re what?
‐Cousin.

392
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,433
When a member
of your family needs your help

393
00:18:56,466 --> 00:18:58,666
you help him,
no matter what the cost.

394
00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:09,666
Oh, Balki, uh,
you made a mistake.

395
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:12,300
You‐you made this
check out to‐to Bartok.

396
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:14,300
And the bank only
knows me as Bart.

397
00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:18,500
No, cousin,
I didn’t make a mistake.

398
00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:23,566
I’m not giving
this money to Bart.

399
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,566
That would be stupid.

400
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,200
I’m giving
this money to Bartok

401
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:31,433
because I know
that somewhere inside

402
00:19:31,466 --> 00:19:35,133
them fancy clothes
is the Bartok I grew up with.

403
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,800
And I know that, that Bartok

404
00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:41,633
will use this money wisely.

405
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,500
I hate when you do this.

406
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,366
Bart.

407
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,366
Your Myposian accent’s
coming out.

408
00:19:58,466 --> 00:20:00,466
And that means,
the rest of the old Bartok

409
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,433
can’t be far behind.

410
00:20:02,466 --> 00:20:04,533
Come on, cousin.
Come on.

411
00:20:04,566 --> 00:20:05,533
Let it out.

412
00:20:05,566 --> 00:20:08,400
You’ve kept Bartok
locked up for too long.

413
00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:11,100
I have to keep
Bartok locked up.

414
00:20:11,133 --> 00:20:12,366
Bartok is a dork.

415
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,500
Cousin, why would
you say such a thing?

416
00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:18,366
And what is a dork?

417
00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:22,166
A loser.

418
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,533
The only way
I can be a success

419
00:20:23,566 --> 00:20:25,533
is by being Bart.

420
00:20:25,566 --> 00:20:27,733
My‐my friend
Frankie Bathgate says so.

421
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,500
Cousin, excuse me
for saying so

422
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:32,500
but your friend
Frankie Bathtub

423
00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:35,033
don’t know Dick Butkus
about success.

424
00:20:38,466 --> 00:20:40,566
The only way
to be a true success

425
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,433
is by being yourself.

426
00:20:45,566 --> 00:20:46,700
Yeah, well...

427
00:20:48,066 --> 00:20:49,133
I...

428
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:50,200
I don’t...

429
00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:53,266
I’m not sure I know
who‐who Bartok is anymore.

430
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,666
I think I lost him
somewhere along the way.

431
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:02,433
Well, I think I know where
you can find Bartok again.

432
00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:06,766
Mypos.

433
00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:13,066
Well, how I can get back?
I don’t have any money.

434
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:14,400
Well, I tell you what.

435
00:21:14,433 --> 00:21:16,366
I’ll lend you
the money to go home.

436
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,166
You will?

437
00:21:21,766 --> 00:21:23,433
Thank you, Cousin Balki.

438
00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:29,300
[instrumental music]

439
00:21:35,366 --> 00:21:39,100
"And make sure you give
Cousin Larry my regards

440
00:21:39,133 --> 00:21:42,066
"and tell him when
I visit America again

441
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,333
"we’ll do lunch.

442
00:21:44,366 --> 00:21:46,200
"That’s a joke.

443
00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:49,666
"Where do I
come up with them?"

444
00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:57,366
Well, it sounds like Bartok
is happy to be back on Mypos.

445
00:22:00,133 --> 00:22:03,400
Oh, look, cousin,
he sent his business card.

446
00:22:03,433 --> 00:22:06,400
"Bartok’s glow in the dark
sheep collars.

447
00:22:08,466 --> 00:22:11,166
"Never lose a lamb
at night again."

448
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:16,100
It looks like Bartok
took a little bit of Bart

449
00:22:16,133 --> 00:22:17,166
back to Mypos with him.

450
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,033
Well, of course, he did.

451
00:22:19,066 --> 00:22:20,500
Don’t be bogus, dude.

452
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:28,033
Balki, promise me you’ll
never say dude again.

453
00:22:28,066 --> 00:22:29,500
You got it.

454
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,300
Larr.

455
00:22:32,333 --> 00:22:34,333
[instrumental music]

456
00:22:40,566 --> 00:22:42,500
[theme music]