1 00:00:01,166 --> 00:00:03,600 [theme music] 2 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:15,066 ♪ Sometimes the world looks perfect ♪ 3 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,400 ♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪ 4 00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:20,433 ♪ Sometimes you just get a feeling ♪ 5 00:00:20,466 --> 00:00:24,700 ♪ Like you need some kind of change ♪ 6 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:28,466 ♪ No matter what the odds are this time ♪ 7 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,666 ♪ Nothing’s gonna stand in my way ♪ 8 00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:32,433 ♪ This flame in my heart ♪ 9 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,166 ♪ Like a long lost friend ♪ 10 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:39,300 ♪ Gives every dark street a light at the end ♪ 11 00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:42,300 ♪ Standing tall ♪ 12 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:46,033 ♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪ 13 00:00:46,066 --> 00:00:49,033 ♪ To rise and fall ♪ 14 00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:52,666 ♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪ 15 00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,766 ♪ Through the rain and thunder the wind and haze ♪ 16 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,433 ♪ I’m bound for better days ♪ 17 00:00:59,466 --> 00:01:01,300 ♪ It’s my life ♪ 18 00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:02,800 ♪ And my dream ♪ 19 00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:06,200 ♪ And nothing’s gonna stop me now ♪ 20 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,500 [instrumental music] 21 00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:27,466 Look, I know your place 22 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,366 is a big hangout for football players. 23 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,166 I know Hank Peterson comes in there a lot. 24 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,200 So, if he shows up, have him call me. 25 00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:36,366 Yeah, I‐I know he doesn’t like to talk to reporters. 26 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,566 I’m not a reporter. 27 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,133 That... I‐I‐I’m‐I’m Mike Ditka. 28 00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:42,300 He‐hello? Hello? 29 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,166 Je‐jerk. 30 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,233 Oh, who am I kidding? 31 00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:48,666 I’ll never find him. 32 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,400 I’ll never get this interview. 33 00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,566 Life stinks. 34 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:56,533 ♪ It’s a hap‐hap‐happy day ♪ 35 00:01:56,566 --> 00:01:58,400 ♪ Doodle loodle loodle loodle loodle lay ♪ 36 00:01:58,433 --> 00:01:59,566 ♪ The sun shines bright ♪ 37 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:00,466 ♪ And the world’s alright ♪ 38 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:03,133 ♪ It’s a hap‐hap‐happy day ♪ 39 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:06,266 Cousin, I just found a $20 bill on the street. 40 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,500 It’s raining 20s from heaven. 41 00:02:10,466 --> 00:02:11,500 Terrific, Balki. 42 00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:14,633 And, cousin, yesterday the counterman at the deli 43 00:02:14,666 --> 00:02:17,300 gave me an extra slice of pickle. 44 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:19,700 And the day before that 45 00:02:19,733 --> 00:02:22,766 a butterfly landed on my shoulder. 46 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,033 When will it all end? 47 00:02:31,566 --> 00:02:34,100 I don’t know, but I hope it ends soon 48 00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:36,566 because it’s getting on my nerves. 49 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,833 Cousin, what’s wrong? 50 00:02:40,866 --> 00:02:43,666 I promised Wainwright I’d interview this football player. 51 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:44,633 The whole town wants to know 52 00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:46,266 if he’s gonna play football next season. 53 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,366 I can’t even find the guy. 54 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,566 Oh, cousin. 55 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:54,533 You know, when rainy days and Mondays always get me down 56 00:02:54,566 --> 00:02:56,500 you know what picks me back up? 57 00:02:56,533 --> 00:02:58,000 Tuesdays? 58 00:02:58,533 --> 00:02:59,666 No. 59 00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:02,233 Helping others. 60 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:06,233 You know, turning darkness into sunlight? 61 00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:09,466 Turning frowns into smiles? 62 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,433 Turning fish heads into chowder? 63 00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:18,033 ‐You should try it. ‐I don’t know, Balki. 64 00:03:18,066 --> 00:03:20,366 Doing good for others has... 65 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,433 ...never appealed to me very much. 66 00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:24,566 Come on, cousin. 67 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,266 Come with me to Chicago General 68 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,233 and do volunteer work. 69 00:03:28,266 --> 00:03:30,066 Listen, getting your mind off yourself 70 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:31,633 and onto some other needy person who really‐‐ 71 00:03:31,666 --> 00:03:33,700 B‐Balki, I don’t wanna help others. 72 00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:37,333 I wanna help myself, so go away. 73 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,766 Alright. Alright. You need time to think this over. 74 00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:45,466 I’ll be in the archives 75 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,500 trying to figure out this Dan Quayle thing. 76 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,400 Appleton. 77 00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:56,633 Yes, sir, Mr. Wainwright. 78 00:03:56,666 --> 00:03:58,433 About that Hank Peterson interview... 79 00:03:58,466 --> 00:04:01,266 Don’t worry, sir. I’m going to find him. I promise. 80 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,100 We’ve already found him, Sherlock. 81 00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:06,133 He’s in Chicago General waiting to have knee surgery. 82 00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:07,500 Well, that’s great, sir. I’m on my way. 83 00:04:07,533 --> 00:04:09,533 I’ll have that interview typed in on your desk 84 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,566 before you can say byline. 85 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,366 ‐Appleton. ‐Yes, sir, Mr. Wainwright. 86 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,666 You ought to know they’re not letting reporters 87 00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,000 anywhere near him. 88 00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:19,466 Well, that’s that. We gave it our best shot, didn’t we, sir? 89 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:20,766 You haven’t given it any shot yet. 90 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,433 Now get down there and get that interview. 91 00:04:22,466 --> 00:04:24,200 Bu‐but‐but if they’re not allowing reporters in 92 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:25,666 how am I gonna do that, sir? 93 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,433 Maybe this will motivate you, Appleton. 94 00:04:28,466 --> 00:04:31,066 Just pretend your job is at stake. 95 00:04:33,066 --> 00:04:35,333 ‐It’s working, sir. ‐I knew it would. 96 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,400 Uh, oh...Chicago General. Chicago Ge... 97 00:04:39,433 --> 00:04:42,100 Who was just talking about Chicago General? 98 00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:49,133 I get it now. 99 00:04:49,166 --> 00:04:53,033 The vice president doesn’t actually do anything. 100 00:04:54,733 --> 00:04:57,400 Balki... 101 00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:59,700 B‐Balki, were you saying 102 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:03,166 that if I focus less on myself and help others 103 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,800 it would be a good thing? 104 00:05:04,833 --> 00:05:06,400 Well, are we feeling better now? 105 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:07,400 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 106 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,500 Now, a‐about this, uh, volunteer hospital job 107 00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:13,300 uh, uh, can you go anywhere you want in the hospital? 108 00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:15,666 Oh, yeah. The volunteers get special passes. 109 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,200 So, if I became a volunteer 110 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:18,500 I could get one of those special passes? 111 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:20,633 Cousin, you’re thinking of becoming a volunteer? 112 00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:22,100 ‐You changed your mind? ‐Yeah, yeah, right. 113 00:05:22,133 --> 00:05:24,266 Complete change of heart. 114 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:28,233 So...I could get one of those special passes? 115 00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:31,100 Well, of course you could. Don’t be ridiculous. 116 00:05:31,133 --> 00:05:32,400 We’ll go down first thing next week. 117 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:35,166 No, not next week. I want to help people tonight. 118 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:42,100 Well, aren’t you the eager leave it to beaver? 119 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,300 Well, I figured, once you decide to help others, why wait? 120 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:48,566 Let’s go. 121 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,100 [instrumental music] 122 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,066 [woman speaking indistinctly over PA] 123 00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:07,666 So, nurse, how long before this shot kicks in? 124 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,366 I’d like to watch a little... 125 00:06:11,566 --> 00:06:15,300 General anesthetic to remove a corn. What a wuss. 126 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:20,266 Is this Hank Peterson’s room? 127 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,133 He’s right over there. 128 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,133 Mr. Peterson? 129 00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:31,266 Hank? 130 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,533 Hank? 131 00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:35,133 Uh, Larry Appleton. Chicago Chronicle. 132 00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:36,266 I know you’re a very busy man. 133 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,800 But, uh, just a few questions. 134 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,666 Are you ever going to play football again? 135 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,666 [mumbling] 136 00:06:45,366 --> 00:06:47,666 I didn’t quite catch that. 137 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:51,266 Are you ever going to play football again? Hank? 138 00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:53,233 Hank? Hank? 139 00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:56,200 Hank? Hank. Hank. Wake up. Hank. 140 00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:58,066 Hank. Wake up. 141 00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,333 Hank. Hank! 142 00:06:59,366 --> 00:07:00,700 Hank. Hank. 143 00:07:00,733 --> 00:07:02,500 Hank! Talk to me. 144 00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:04,566 Hank! Hank. 145 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,300 Cousin, making friends already? 146 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,166 Oh! 147 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,300 You are one caring human being. Come on, we got to go now. 148 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,133 No, Balki, we can’t leave yet. 149 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,366 Well, we came here to comfort and console the patients. 150 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,766 And we do that by relating to them. 151 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,133 Oh, look. Here’s a patient we can relate to. 152 00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:24,433 Cousin...I don’t know how much relating Hank can do. 153 00:07:24,466 --> 00:07:27,733 Obviously, this man is sedated. 154 00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:29,733 See? 155 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:31,800 Come on, we got to go. 156 00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:35,033 Well, Balki, uh, people relate awake or asleep. 157 00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:36,200 Uh, uh, watch. 158 00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:38,200 Hank, if you can hear me 159 00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:40,366 don’t raise your hand. 160 00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:43,500 See? 161 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:48,566 Wow! 162 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,066 I’ve never seen reflexes like that. 163 00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,533 ‐Hi, Balki. ‐Hi, Nurse Bagley. 164 00:07:55,566 --> 00:07:57,233 Why don’t you change Mr. Vaughan’s bed? 165 00:07:57,266 --> 00:07:59,733 ‐I’ll do my best. ‐I know you will. 166 00:07:59,766 --> 00:08:01,366 He’s the "Bed Changer Of The Month", you know. 167 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,433 I know. 168 00:08:03,466 --> 00:08:05,333 I saw the plaque. 169 00:08:07,366 --> 00:08:08,566 Okay, cousin. Come on. 170 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,033 You take this side. 171 00:08:10,766 --> 00:08:12,333 Oh, okay. 172 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,633 Alright. Well, let’s get this over with. 173 00:08:14,666 --> 00:08:16,433 Uh, come on, Mr. Vaughan, get up. 174 00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:17,566 We gotta change the bed. 175 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,066 Cousin...cousin. 176 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,500 I‐I know you’re new at this 177 00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:24,600 but my trained eye tells me that this man’s asleep. 178 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:30,700 See? 179 00:08:30,733 --> 00:08:34,233 We’ve got to change this bed with him in it. 180 00:08:34,266 --> 00:08:36,366 I know the proper procedure. 181 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,066 It’s hospital tested, hospital approved. 182 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,533 Okay, but let’s make it fast. 183 00:08:42,566 --> 00:08:44,433 Okay. Now...yeah. 184 00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:50,033 First, you gently fold down the blanket. 185 00:08:50,066 --> 00:08:51,266 Yeah, what can I do? 186 00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,533 You can gently remove the pillows 187 00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:56,000 from underneath the patient’s head. 188 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:09,200 [clearing throat] Now, the next step is to gently move Mr. Vaughan 189 00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:12,166 into a comfortable sitting posture. 190 00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:22,266 [grunting] 191 00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,500 [grunting] 192 00:09:45,133 --> 00:09:47,100 [grunting] 193 00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,133 Okay. What now? 194 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,233 Okay, now, the next step 195 00:09:58,266 --> 00:10:02,466 is to strip the sheet from the bed. 196 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,366 You, uh, pick up the mattress 197 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,666 taking care not to disturb the patient. 198 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,466 Okay. 199 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,566 [grunting] You do that. I’ll hold him. 200 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,166 Okay. 201 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,533 [Balki whistling] 202 00:10:29,366 --> 00:10:31,166 Cousin. 203 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,433 Cousin. 204 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,000 [Larry grunting] 205 00:10:36,566 --> 00:10:40,766 This is not proper hospital procedure. 206 00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:46,233 Get him off! 207 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,566 Ow. 208 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,433 [grunting] 209 00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:19,433 ‐Okay, let him go. ‐Okay. 210 00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:28,466 You’re starting to get the hang of this. 211 00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:35,566 Okay, now, ahem, the next step is to gently 212 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,800 gently roll Mr. Vaughan on his side 213 00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:42,000 and remove the sheet out from underneath him. 214 00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,366 Alright. 215 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,433 [both grunting] 216 00:11:49,133 --> 00:11:52,166 Alright. I’ll hold him. You strip. 217 00:11:53,733 --> 00:11:55,733 What? 218 00:11:55,766 --> 00:11:58,200 I’ll hold Mr. Vaughan. You strip. 219 00:12:00,433 --> 00:12:03,100 ‐Cousin, I‐I‐‐ ‐Balki, please, do as I say. 220 00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,666 I’ll hold, you strip. 221 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:08,033 I’ll hold, you strip. Is this too hard for you? 222 00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:11,233 No. 223 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,700 The sheets! 224 00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:38,333 Strip the sheets! 225 00:12:39,566 --> 00:12:42,166 Oh! Okay. 226 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,366 [grunting] 227 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,300 Uh‐oh. 228 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:52,600 Oh, Balki, Balki, I can’t hold him. 229 00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:53,766 ‐Oh, okay. ‐I can’t hold him. 230 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,466 Get him up. Get him up. 231 00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,200 [grunting] 232 00:13:00,133 --> 00:13:03,433 Oh, no, Balki! Balki! Help! Help! Help! 233 00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:07,133 I got him. I got him. 234 00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:09,666 Aah! 235 00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:13,400 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 236 00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:20,500 Aah! 237 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,366 Is that Hank Peterson? 238 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,766 No, he’s the one in the bed. 239 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,200 Okay, thanks. 240 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,566 Excuse me...could you help us? 241 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,300 Come on, pal, we can’t do every thing. 242 00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:37,133 Aah! Wait a minute. 243 00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:39,166 You can’t take him. I need him. 244 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,200 So does the surgeon. 245 00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,266 He can’t operate on his knee without ’em. 246 00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,266 We’ll be back for Mr. Vaughn later. 247 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,666 [Balki groaning] 248 00:13:50,466 --> 00:13:52,500 Balki, this‐this‐this is terrible. 249 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:55,033 Oh, cousin, it’s not so bad. 250 00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:58,533 I’m sure Mr. Vaughn don’t mind waiting. 251 00:13:58,566 --> 00:14:01,300 [instrumental music] 252 00:14:06,733 --> 00:14:08,266 [instrumental music] 253 00:14:12,666 --> 00:14:15,366 Cousin, you know, it was so easy 254 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,033 to get Mr. Vaughan back in bed after I found out 255 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,700 that he likes to play "Simon says" in his sleep. 256 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,533 Simon says raise your legs. 257 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,200 Put your legs down. 258 00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:38,166 He’s good. 259 00:14:42,266 --> 00:14:44,666 Simon says put your legs down. 260 00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:51,500 Cousin, we can go now. 261 00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:55,033 Balki, I’m not leaving until they bring Hank back. 262 00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:58,466 Cousin, learn to let go. 263 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,633 Hank is in good hands 264 00:15:01,666 --> 00:15:04,266 and there are plenty of other patients who need our help. 265 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,400 But they don’t play football for the Chicago Bears 266 00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:08,566 and Hank Peterson does. 267 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:18,400 Oh‐ho, now I get it! 268 00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:21,466 You didn’t come here to‐to‐to help patients. 269 00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:24,533 You came to get an interview with Hank Peterson. 270 00:15:24,566 --> 00:15:27,400 So what if I did? 271 00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:30,300 If I get this interview it’ll mean a lot for my career. 272 00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,766 But, cousin, you’re doing a good thing for a selfish reason. 273 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:37,466 That’s wrong. Do I have to review the order for you again? 274 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:42,066 First you do good things, then good things happen. 275 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,033 Balki, you know what your problem is? 276 00:15:44,066 --> 00:15:45,500 You’re too rigid. 277 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,633 I’ll do my hospital work 278 00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:50,600 after they bring Hank back and I interview him. 279 00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:54,766 Well, they’re not going to bring him back, Mr. Smarty Trousers. 280 00:15:57,133 --> 00:16:00,166 He’s going to the Recovery Room. 281 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,600 Well, then I’ll interview him in the Recovery Room. 282 00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:06,733 ‐Good thinking, cousin. ‐Thank you. 283 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:10,700 (Balki) ’Can you pretend to have a key?’ 284 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,566 A key? 285 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,700 Doctors use them to open the Recovery Room. 286 00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:23,633 ‐Someone else must have a key. ‐Nope, only doctors 287 00:16:23,666 --> 00:16:28,300 and the occasional trusted Mypiot volunteer. 288 00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,300 ‐Balki? ‐Yes? 289 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,700 Do you have a key? 290 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,133 ‐No. ‐No? 291 00:16:46,166 --> 00:16:50,100 That was the other Mypiot volunteer. 292 00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:55,366 Balki, may I have the key, please? 293 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,033 No, cousin! 294 00:16:57,066 --> 00:16:59,600 And I’ll never tell you where it is. 295 00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:04,633 Balki, give me the key! 296 00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:07,233 Ha! 297 00:17:07,266 --> 00:17:09,700 When pigs walk! 298 00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:16,366 No, no, no, no. No, no, no. 299 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,233 Aah! No, no, no. 300 00:17:19,266 --> 00:17:21,733 Balki... 301 00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:25,100 ...give me the key. 302 00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,366 Never! 303 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,133 [air hissing] 304 00:17:29,766 --> 00:17:33,366 Balki, give me the key. 305 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,433 Never! 306 00:17:34,466 --> 00:17:37,700 [air hissing] 307 00:17:37,733 --> 00:17:40,433 Balki, give me the key 308 00:17:40,466 --> 00:17:44,533 or I’ll squeeze your brains out. 309 00:17:44,566 --> 00:17:45,600 Never! 310 00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:47,566 [air hissing] 311 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,566 Never! 312 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,000 [hissing continues] 313 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,066 [indistinct chatter] 314 00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,033 Balki! Balki! Balki! 315 00:17:58,066 --> 00:18:01,000 Just kidding, cousin. Hee hee hee. 316 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,400 Ha! 317 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,266 You’ll never get that key! 318 00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:10,166 Aah! 319 00:18:10,666 --> 00:18:12,766 Aah! 320 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,100 Ha ha ha! 321 00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:16,133 Oh, oh, oh! 322 00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:18,466 Simon says hug! 323 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:23,033 Alright, Balki. Two can play at this game. 324 00:18:23,066 --> 00:18:25,233 Simon says let go. 325 00:18:25,266 --> 00:18:27,700 Ha! 326 00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:29,700 It only works for me. 327 00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,766 I’m it. 328 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,033 Alright, Balki, please, please, please. 329 00:18:35,066 --> 00:18:36,300 I need the key. 330 00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:39,100 Cousin, you promised to work for the hospital, not for yourself. 331 00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:41,766 Balki, if you help me, I’ll work here for a month. 332 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,166 A month? Ha! 333 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,433 Simon says hug tighter. 334 00:18:46,466 --> 00:18:48,033 [Larry groaning] 335 00:18:49,566 --> 00:18:51,466 Six months! 336 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,033 Simon says let go. 337 00:18:57,333 --> 00:19:00,300 [instrumental music] 338 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,500 Hank. Hank. Hank, wake up. 339 00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:18,566 Hi, mom. We’re number one. 340 00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:23,100 Hank, Hank, Hank, wake up. 341 00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,233 We’re doctors 342 00:19:24,266 --> 00:19:29,100 and‐and we need a little post‐operative information. 343 00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:30,066 What? 344 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:33,033 Are you ever going to play football again? 345 00:19:33,066 --> 00:19:35,766 Oh, you’re the doctor. What are you asking me for? 346 00:19:36,766 --> 00:19:38,133 Balki? 347 00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:39,633 Hi, Hank. 348 00:19:39,666 --> 00:19:42,066 What are you doing here? 349 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,433 Is it story time? 350 00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:48,800 Not until after dinner. 351 00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:51,433 Hank, we‐we were, we were wondering‐‐ 352 00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:54,500 Balki, please. Balki, Balki, please. 353 00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:56,266 Hank, my name is Larry Appleton. 354 00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,633 I’m a reporter with The Chicago Chronicle. 355 00:19:58,666 --> 00:20:00,300 Cousin, I think I can help. 356 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,133 Balki, you can help by being quiet. 357 00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,300 So, short interview? What do you say, Hank? 358 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,500 I say no. 359 00:20:08,533 --> 00:20:10,500 Well, that’s it. I’m through. I’m finished. 360 00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:15,166 Cousin, may I speak now? 361 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,533 You can do anything you want. My life is over. 362 00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:24,433 Hank, he’s a friend of mine. 363 00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,733 Well, why didn’t you say so? 364 00:20:30,266 --> 00:20:32,733 I tell you what, my doctors are gonna be in in a few minutes. 365 00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:34,266 Why don’t you stick around 366 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,500 and we’ll find out whether or not 367 00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:37,700 they’re gonna retire my jersey? 368 00:20:37,733 --> 00:20:39,633 You have a cow? 369 00:20:40,633 --> 00:20:43,466 [instrumental music] 370 00:20:55,066 --> 00:20:56,033 Appleton. 371 00:20:56,066 --> 00:20:58,600 ‐Yes, sir, Mr. Wainwright. ‐Great interview. 372 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,600 We were the first paper to tell Chicago Hank will be back. 373 00:21:01,633 --> 00:21:02,833 Thank you, sir. 374 00:21:02,866 --> 00:21:06,300 But‐but I couldn’t have done it without Balki’s help. 375 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:07,666 Nice work, Bartokomous. 376 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:10,433 Thank you, Mr. Wainwright. 377 00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:13,733 Well, you and Appleton make a good team. 378 00:21:13,766 --> 00:21:16,066 Well, you know what they say... 379 00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,800 ...a bird in the hand 380 00:21:17,833 --> 00:21:19,466 will just keep pecking 381 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:22,733 and pecking and pecking and pecking 382 00:21:22,766 --> 00:21:25,400 until your hand starts to bleed. 383 00:21:27,066 --> 00:21:28,600 He helped you? 384 00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:30,400 Uh, a lot. 385 00:21:30,433 --> 00:21:31,466 Well, I don’t know how you did it 386 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,266 but you brought in a big story. 387 00:21:33,300 --> 00:21:37,066 Maybe I should think about making this team permanent. Hm. 388 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,100 Permanent? 389 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,633 ‐Did you hear that? ‐Yes. 390 00:21:42,666 --> 00:21:45,033 He’s going to do our hair. 391 00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:52,400 Yes, that’s right. 392 00:21:54,733 --> 00:21:58,033 Well, Balki, it looks like our careers 393 00:21:58,066 --> 00:21:59,400 are starting to take off. 394 00:21:59,433 --> 00:22:00,500 This is a big day for me. 395 00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:03,500 ‐Well, it’s a big night, too. ‐What do you mean? 396 00:22:03,533 --> 00:22:08,033 Well, you go to work at the hospital tonight. 397 00:22:08,066 --> 00:22:09,133 You got your interview. 398 00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:11,366 And now you have to pay Peter Piper. 399 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,266 Hey, I’m happy to do it. 400 00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:15,700 Well, that’s a good attitude. 401 00:22:15,733 --> 00:22:19,766 Now, what would you like to do for the first three months 402 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,400 mash down garbage or work on the third floor? 403 00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:27,633 Ooh, that’s a toughie. 404 00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:28,800 I’ll take the third floor. 405 00:22:28,833 --> 00:22:31,133 Bedpans it is. 406 00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:36,000 [instrumental music] 407 00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:43,700 [theme music] 408 00:23:00,666 --> 00:23:02,666 [music continues] 409 00:23:14,533 --> 00:23:17,333 [music continues]