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[theme music playing]
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♪ Sometimes the world
Looks perfect ♪
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♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
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♪ Sometimes you just
Get a feeling ♪
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♪ Like you need
Some kind of change ♪
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♪ No matter what
The odds are this time ♪
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♪ Nothing’s gonna stand
In my way ♪
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♪ This flame in my heart
Like a long lost friend ♪
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♪ Gives every dark street
A light at the end ♪
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♪ Standing tall ♪
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
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♪ Rise and fall ♪
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
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♪ The rain and thunder ♪
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♪ The wind and haze
I’m bound for better days ♪
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♪ It’s my life and my dream ♪
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♪ Nothing’s gonna stop me now ♪
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You are not going to believe
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the vacation
I’ve planned for us.
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And it’s well within our budget.
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Wait here.
I’ll get the brochure.
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You are going to love it!
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‐We’re not going.
‐Why not?
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When Larry comes back,
you’re just gonna have
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to tell him we’re not going.
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Where is it we’re not going?
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It doesn’t matter,
if Larry planned it,
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we’re not going.
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Now, ladies, listen to me.
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I know that in the past,
Cousin Larry’s trips
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have proved a little
life‐threatening
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but this time, things
are going to be different.
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Now, I‐I‐I took a peek
at the travel brochure
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and just between you and me
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I think I can safely say
that this time
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everything’s coming up noses.
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Balki, I still haven’t
gotten my luggage back
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from our last trip
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Come on, now. Come on.
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Cousin Larry wants
more than anything
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for you to have a good time.
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He‐He’s trying to
make up for his past mistakes.
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Balki, we know
his intentions are good
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but that’s when
he’s the most dangerous.
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Well, maybe we should
give Larry another chance.
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I mean, after all,
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he did pay all of
our medical bills last time.
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Well, my‐my tetanus shot
is up to date, so...
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‐Why not?
‐Great.
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Thank you.
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Now, everything is set.
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We are going to paradise.
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Well, if we all follow
the golden rule,
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I don’t know why not.
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We are going to Club Paradise.
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It’s‐it’s a small resort island
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tucked away in the warm waters
of the Gulf of Mexico.
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‐Great. We’ll go.
‐Now, just hear me out.
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Because, it’s
got sunshine, beaches‐‐
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Sounds wonderful.
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Now I know I’ve messed up before
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but just give it a chance.
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It’s got great shopping...
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‐Cousin. Cousin‐‐
‐...great food.
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‐Entertainment. What?
‐Cousin.
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I‐I think they’re saying yes.
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They are?
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Well, that’s great!
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I told you
there’d be no problem.
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[upbeat saxophone music playing]
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Well, here we are, Mr. Appleton.
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Hope you enjoy yourselves.
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Someone will be right with you.
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Well, didn’t I tell you this
was a great vacation package?
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With free transportation
from the airport.
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Larry, it was a mule cart.
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I don’t believe this place.
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I don’t believe it, either.
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This is nicer
than The Howell’s Hut
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in Gilligan’s Island.
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Now, come on.
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It’s‐it’s island. It’s native.
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It’s falling apart.
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I love this place.
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The whole sense
of decayed elegance.
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Fabulous.
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Jennifer,
it’s‐it’s got character.
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Besides, we’ll be spending most
of our time on the beach anyhow.
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Come on, let‐let’s check in.
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Oh, Cousin! Cousin!
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Can I, can I? Can I...
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ring the bell?
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Okay, you ring the bell.
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[bell ringing]
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I’m having fun already.
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Well, hi there.
Welcome to Club Paradise.
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I’m Mac MacIntyre, and you are?
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A‐Appleton. Larry Appleton.
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Well, we’re delighted
to have you.
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I’ll just get someone
to help you with your bags.
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[ringing bell] Front!
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Just follow me.
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They shot Papillon
here, you know.
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Well, here are your keys.
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And, uh, I just hope
that you have
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a wonderful weekend in paradise.
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Mi casa es su casa.
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Well, thanks, Mac.
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Well, what do you say
we take a swim,
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go into town,
and shop till we drop?
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Okay, we’ll change
and meet you in the lobby.
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[together] Bye‐bye.
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Interesting wallpaper.
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Boy, these walls are thin.
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It sounds like Mary Anne
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is right here
in the room with us.
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Boy, these walls
really are thin.
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I can see through them.
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I wonder if they can see us.
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No, they can’t.
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‐Balki...
‐Aah!
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What are you doing in our room?
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Well, we’re not in your room.
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This is our room, I‐I think.
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No.
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Well, let’s see.
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[Larry]
We’re in 101. You’re in 102.
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Wow.
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This room is nicer than ours.
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‐Balki.
‐Yes.
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This is the same room.
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Well, I’ll be snookered.
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Well, Cousin, this is great.
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Now when you call out
Jennifer’s name in your sleep
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she’ll be right here.
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Uh, L‐Larry,
this is not going to work.
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No problem,
I’ll‐I’ll call the desk
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and‐and get this
all straightened out.
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Ask them to send up another bed.
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And another wall.
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Hello, Mac?
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Yeah, this‐this is
Larry Appleton.
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Yeah, listen, we‐we only have,
uh, one room
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and we did pay for two.
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Simple math would tell us
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that, uh, we’re exactly
one room short.
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Yeah, you‐you get my point?
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Uh‐huh.
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I see.
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Well, let me get back
to you on that.
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What did he say?
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Well, there are two other rooms.
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Uh, one is a little flooded
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and the other has snakes.
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‐[gasping]
‐But they’re not poisonous.
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He said, we could take our pick.
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Well, Cousin, what kind of fool
would want a flooded room?
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We’ll take the snakes.
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Larry, you did it to us again.
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Now, let’s get our money back
and get out of here, now.
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Hey, there’s just
a little problem
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with the accommodations.
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I’ll work it out with Mac.
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Hey, this place
is gonna look great
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from the other side of a suntan.
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This is the worst vacation
I’ve had with you
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since the last worst vacation
I’ve had with you.
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[door closing]
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I better go talk to her.
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What’s with her?
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Cousin, um...
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call it intuition,
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call it common sense,
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call the wind Mariah,
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but I, uh...
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I‐I‐I don’t think
the girls are happy here
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so even though I love it
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I‐I think we should leave.
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Balki, I have put
a lot of thought
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and planning into this vacation.
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‐I know that, Cousin.
‐I need your support here!
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Now after we get
this room thing worked out,
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I’m sure the girls
will come around.
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[both screaming] Aah!
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There’s a, there’s a,
a thing in the bathtub!
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R‐r‐relax. Just relax.
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In tropical climates
you’ve got to expect
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the occasional insect or bug.
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Now, whatever it is...
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I’ll take care of it.
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[Larry screaming] Aah‐aah!
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What is it, Cousin?
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Well, it’s either a spider,
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or a very hairy Volkswagen.
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‐Okay, my turn.
‐Okay, okay.
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Aah!
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Okay, okay, my turn.
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Ow. Ow. Ow!
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Ow.
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Aah!
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00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:06,366
Cousin, I‐I‐I know we’re having
the time of our lives
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but I‐I don’t think the girls
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quite share our enthusiasm
for this place.
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00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,107
What are you talking about?
The girls are having
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a wonderful time.
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00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,144
Larry, I hate this place.
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00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,414
There is no swimming pool,
no golf course,
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00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:24,284
and you have to rappel down
a cliff to get to the beach.
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00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,254
And I don’t know why we bothered
to get all dressed up.
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00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,355
There’s nothing to do.
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00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:33,026
Well, that amusement park
next door looked like fun.
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00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,460
Balki, that isn’t
an amusement park.
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00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,762
That’s a refinery.
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00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,367
Okay. Okay.
215
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,904
You wanna leave? We’ll leave.
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00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,772
[spraying]
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00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,012
Mosquitoes.
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00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:54,347
Watch out for the dead ones.
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00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,481
You could turn an ankle.
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00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,990
[Larry] Mac.
221
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,959
What time does the plane
leave for the mainland?
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00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,394
Uh, twenty minutes ago,
223
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:09,462
but there’s
another one tomorrow.
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00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,768
All right, we can
leave tomorrow.
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00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,369
In the meantime, let’s just try
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00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,105
to enjoy the time
we’ve got here.
227
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:22,408
You know, I think we’re all
experiencing a sugar low.
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00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:26,012
Why we don’t go into town
and sample the island cuisine?
229
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,981
Now that’s the spirit, Balki.
230
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,016
Mac...
231
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,519
Uh, can you recommend
a good restaurant on the island?
232
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,487
Oh, I sure could.
233
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,394
Welcome to Chez Mac.
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00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:43,897
Oh.
235
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,933
Do you have reservations?
236
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:51,071
Mac, this is a good restaurant?
237
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,407
Well, this is
the, uh, the only restaurant.
238
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,243
We did have a little Tex‐Mex
place on the North Beach
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00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,012
but it went under last week.
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00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,281
Went out of business?
241
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,849
No, it really went under.
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00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,285
It sank.
243
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,020
We got sink holes
all over the island.
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00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:08,254
[laughing]
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00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:14,160
W‐w‐why don’t we just,
uh, eat here?
246
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,196
I’ve‐I’ve got
a good feeling about it.
247
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,964
You do?
248
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,232
Well, let’s eat here anyway.
249
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,440
Hi. My name’s Mac.
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00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,909
I’ll be your waiter
this evening.
251
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,245
The specials are on the house
252
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,247
but I will need
the little umbrellas back.
253
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,956
Well, now this is nice, huh?
254
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,927
This is what it’s all about.
255
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,495
This is why I get up
in the morning, this is why‐‐
256
00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:51,297
Put a sock in it, Larry.
257
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,503
Cousin, um...
258
00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:58,905
could‐could‐could I have
a private word with you?
259
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:02,943
Excuse us.
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Oh...
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00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,319
This story is about
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the most pigheaded pig farmer
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on Mypos.
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00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,460
Oinki.
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00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:24,397
One day, Oinki thought
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he had made the deal
of his life on a prize pig.
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00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,202
Only, when he got it home
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00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:32,038
he discovered that
it wasn’t a pig at all.
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00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,007
It was a dog in pig’s clothing.
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00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,078
His family was going hungry
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because there was no bacon.
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00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,414
But Oinki was stubborn.
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Even when his pig chased cars,
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buried bones,
and bit the mailman,
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he refused to admit
he’d made a mistake.
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00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,057
Oinki’s family
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finally left him on
the day his pig had puppies.
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00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,502
Because of his stubbornness,
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he had to spend
the rest of his days alone.
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00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,206
What’s your point?
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No matter what face
you put on this hotel,
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it’s still a dog.
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00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,019
Now, Cousin, your pigheadedness
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is costing you your friends.
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00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,424
I wanted so badly
for‐for Jennifer
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00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,959
‐to enjoy this trip.
‐Yes.
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00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,093
I thought
this would be my chance...
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00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,562
Cousin‐Cousin‐Cousin,
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it’s over.
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00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,380
All right, I booked us
on a trip to hell.
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00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,451
I’m sorry.
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00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:54,655
We can leave
on the plane tomorrow.
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00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:58,258
And I promise never to plan
another vacation again.
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00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,362
Well, I guess we can
make it through one night.
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00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,731
Yeah, it’s not the end
of the world.
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00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:09,202
Well, at least we can
spend a quiet evening
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00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,505
and enjoy the peaceful solitude
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of a tropical island.
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00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,309
[wind gusting]
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00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,412
[crashing]
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Sorry. The kitchen’s closed.
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00:16:24,585 --> 00:16:26,720
We just sat down.
How can it be closed?
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00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:29,022
Okay, it’s not closed.
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00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,190
It’s gone.
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Things like that
happen in a hurricane.
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[girls] Hurricane!
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00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:40,066
Don’t panic. I’ve been through
hurricanes on Mypos.
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00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:43,436
The first thing we have
to do is find the sheep!
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00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,509
[girls] Ow! Ow.
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[thunder rumbling]
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Oh!
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00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:12,432
Whoa!
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00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,067
Aah!
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00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:19,706
[Mary Anne] I can’t get up!
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00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,142
‐Balki!
‐[Jennifer] Balki!
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[thunder rumbling]
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All right.
We’ll be fine in here.
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00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,850
I think we’ve seen
the worst of it.
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00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,453
Mary Anne, if I die,
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00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:10,290
I want you to have
my‐my Wayne Newton albums.
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00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:13,093
Thanks, Balki.
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00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,529
Jennifer, if I die,
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I want you
to have all of my clothes
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and Balki’s Wayne Newton albums.
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Thank you, Mary Anne.
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And Larry...
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if I die...
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I’m taking you with me.
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Now‐now wait a minute.
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What‐what is all
this talk about death?
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We are going to be fine.
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These tropical storms
pass quickly.
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They blow,
and then they’re gone.
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00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,689
[both screaming]
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[Jennifer] Balki, do something!
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00:18:46,727 --> 00:18:47,694
We’ve got to...
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00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:50,631
We’ve got to stick
something in the window
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to block the wind.
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00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,167
The mattress.
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00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,403
We’ll cover the window
with the mattress.
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[together] Whoa.
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Bathroom!
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Oh, Cousin, you should
have thought of that
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before the hurricane!
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I mean, let’s take cover
in the bathroom.
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Oh.
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[grunting and groaning]
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Follow me!
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Good news.
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The spider’s gone.
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Oh, oh. Oh...
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[together] Oh.
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[screaming]
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[yelling] Balki! Balki!
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Balki! Help me!
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‐Balki!
‐Cousin!
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Aah!
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[together] Oh, Balki!
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[thud]
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‐Are you okay?
‐Yeah.
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I‐I think we’ve finally
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seen the worst of it.
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00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,029
[Mary Anne] No.
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[all screaming]
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Cousin.
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00:21:09,670 --> 00:21:11,337
Cousin, look.
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00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,273
You can see
the refinery from here.
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[upbeat saxophone music playing]
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00:21:36,530 --> 00:21:38,899
Cousin, you know
what the best thing
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00:21:38,932 --> 00:21:40,967
about going away
on vacation with you is?
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00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,435
No, Balki, what’s that?
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Coming back home alive.
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I‐I just love it.
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00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:53,880
You know...
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I think I’m gonna
take a vacation
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from planning vacations.
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00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:01,955
Oh, Cousin,
you don’t have to do that.
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00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:04,124
‐I don’t? No?
‐No.
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00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,859
When the girls
and I were pulling you
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out of that sink hole,
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we decided to never let you
plan a trip again anyway.
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00:22:12,899 --> 00:22:15,035
I’m sorry for ruining
the entire weekend.
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00:22:15,068 --> 00:22:17,838
Oh, come on, Cousin, it wasn’t
a complete waste of time.
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00:22:17,871 --> 00:22:19,072
I got some neat souvenirs.
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00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:23,409
Oh, you didn’t buy one of those
visors from Mac, did you?
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00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:25,846
Well, of course not.
Don’t be ridiculous.
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00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:27,914
But...
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00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:32,953
Remember that spider
we saw in the bathroom?
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[theme music playing]