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[theme music]
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♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪
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♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
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♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪
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♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪
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♪ No matter what
the odds are this time ♪
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♪ Nothing’s going to
stand in my way ♪
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♪ This flame in my heart ♪
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♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
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♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪
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♪ Standing tall ♪
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
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♪ Rise and fall ♪
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
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♪ The rain and thunder ♪
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♪ The wind and haze ♪
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♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
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♪ It’s my life
and my dream ♪
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♪ Nothing’s going to
stop me now ♪
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[instrumental music]
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(Jennifer)
’Okay, it’s your turn, Balki.’
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Okay, Balki, pet peeve.
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"What bothers you most
about the person
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sitting on your right?"
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Ooh. This should be good.
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This is very hard
for me to say.
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The‐the‐the thing
that bothers me most
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about cousin Larry
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is...he doesn’t give
himself enough credit
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for all the good
things he does.
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Forgive me
if I’ve hurt you.
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Oh...it’s okay.
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Okay,
Mary Anne, your turn.
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Ooh. I get a pet peeve too,
just like you.
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Don’t do that.
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Okay, "Name a fault
of the person sitting
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across from you, or sing
a Barry Manilow song."
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(all)
Answer the question.
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Well, okay,
but it’s a tough one.
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I mean, Jennifer’s
almost perfect.
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Well, there is this one
teeny little fault.
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It wouldn’t be
worth mentioning
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if I didn’t want
to win the game.
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Come on.
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It’s her habit
of correcting everything I do.
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[laughing]
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Mary Anne,
I don’t do that.
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Yes, you do.
Who’s next?
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Wait a minute, Mary Anne,
if‐if your gonna
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make a statement like that,
you have to explain it.
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Should I roll
the dice for you?
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Not now, Larry.
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Now, what do you mean
I correct everything you do?
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Alright,
fine, for example
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every time I check
the passengers’ seat belts
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you follow right along
behind me checking them again.
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Well, I have to.
You’re careless.
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‐I am not.
‐’Oh yeah?’
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Last week
you left the oven on.
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‐I was baking cookies.
‐For three days?
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Well, I’m surprised
you had time to check the oven
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you spend so much time
in front of a mirror.
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Well, at least I don’t put
my makeup on with a spray gun.
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This from a person
who snores like a teamster!
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I don’t have to sit here
and take this from someone
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who can’t remember
her real hair color.
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Goodnight.
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Oh! Oh, yeah?
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Well, well,
at least I didn’t go
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00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,678
to the prom
with my brother!
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[instrumental music]
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The screaming
has stopped.
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I think the girls
must have made up.
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[knock on door]
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Hi, Balki.
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I just wanted to say goodbye
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before I move out.
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Why you are moving out?
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Because I would
rather eat glass
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than live with Jennifer!
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Mary Anne,
you can’t be serious.
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Cousin Larry’s right.
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Glass is really tough
on your digestive system.
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Mary Anne, Jennifer
is your best friend.
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Ex‐best friend.
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I’m gonna go
stay in a hotel
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until I find
my own place.
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Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
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You can forget about
going to a hotel.
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00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:02,836
You’ll stay
right here with us.
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00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,338
You’ll sleep in my room,
and I’ll stay on the couch.
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00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,439
Oh, Balki,
I couldn’t do that.
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I’d be putting you out.
I’ll stay in a hotel.
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Well, if you
think that’s best.
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No, no, no.
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You march yourself right on
in there and start unpacking.
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Bush, bush, bush.
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Cousin Larry
and I insist.
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Oh, you guys
are the greatest.
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I’ll try to stay
out of your way.
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Oh, sorry, Larry.
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Balki, you just made
a huge mistake.
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I’m sorry, cousin.
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Did you want to
give her your room?
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I’ll go ask her.
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I mean, you put us right in
the middle of their argument.
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But, cousin, I’m just
helping Mary Anne.
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What you would say
if Jennifer wanted to stay here?
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Thank you, God.
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But that’s not the point.
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Balki, Jennifer
is going to think that
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I’m taking
Mary Anne’s side.
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Now, wait a minute.
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Mary Anne
is my girlfriend.
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She’ll be
staying in my room.
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She’ll be
wearing my robe.
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She’ll be using
my Mr. Ducky bubble bath.
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There is no way
Jennifer could get mad at you.
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[knock on door]
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‐Oh, hi.
‐Hey, guys. Ugh!
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Mary Anne just moved out.
I’m so mad.
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Larry, I just need to talk.
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Well, you came to
the right place.
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Let’s go
to a coffee shop.
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Balki, where do you
keep the towels?
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Mary Anne,
what are you doing here?
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Uh, Jennifer,
I think I can explain.
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The guys insisted
I stay here.
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Well, that doesn’t bother you,
does it, Jennifer?
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[chuckles]
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[instrumental music]
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[Mary Anne screaming]
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Sorry, Mary Anne.
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Ooh!
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Ow!
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[screams]
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Ow!
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[groans]
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Whoa!
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[groans]
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[screaming]
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Hi, cousin.
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Balki...this has gone
far enough.
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I haven’t seen the inside
of our bathroom in a week.
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Well, the men’s room
at the gas station is available.
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Although, if I were you
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I’d bring a little
409 along with me.
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Balki.
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00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,743
Our lives
have not been the same
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00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,177
since Mary Anne moved in.
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We’re crowded,
the place is a mess.
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00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,816
And she treats us like
we’re passengers on a 747.
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Come on, cousin.
You’re exaggerating.
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Good morning, everyone.
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If you’ll be seated, we can
start our breakfast service.
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Can I put this in
the overhead bin for you, sir?
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Oh, sure.
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Now, come on, cousin.
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00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,045
How she’s going to get better
if she don’t practice?
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Oh.
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‐Now, window or aisle?
‐Window.
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For those of you seated
on the left side of the aircraft
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we’re passing over Chicago.
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Would you care
for some coffee?
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‐Please.
‐Please.
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‐Thank you.
‐Thank you.
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[clanking]
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Balki? Would you like
pancakes or scrambled eggs?
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I would like
pancakes, please.
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Larry, what would you like?
Pancakes or scrambled eggs?
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I’ll have
pancakes too.
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Oh, I’m sorry,
we just ran out of pancakes.
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Would eggs be alright?
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Fine.
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Well, enjoy your meal.
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If you’ll excuse me...
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...I think I’ll go help out
the gang in coach.
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00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,122
Balki,
Mary Anne has to go.
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She’s driving me crazy.
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Come on, cousin,
If Mary Anne moves out
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how will the girls
ever get back together?
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Balki,
it’s been a week!
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Sh‐sh‐sh!
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00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,768
It’s been a week, and‐and
they’re still not talking.
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They pass each other
on the stairs
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ice forms on the walls.
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B‐Balki, there’s no telling
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how long this thing
is gonna go on.
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00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:19,012
But, cousin, I‐I can’t ask
my girlfriend to move out.
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00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,850
A‐anyway, I‐I like
having her around.
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00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,887
The way
she combs her hair.
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00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,390
The way
she sips her tea.
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00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:34,394
The way
she’s changed my life.
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00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:38,799
No, no, you can’t take that
away from me.
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00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,905
Well, great, in the meantime
I’m losing my girlfriend.
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00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,773
Jennifer insists
I’m harboring the enemy.
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‐She won’t talk to me!
‐Oh.
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00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,910
Now, Balki,
it’s over.
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00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,745
Mary Anne has to go,
I am going to tell her that
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00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:53,914
she just can’t
stay here anymore.
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00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,855
‐Get out of my way.
‐Ha.
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00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,116
[gasps]
203
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:33,820
Ow, ow, ow!
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00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,956
Balki, I’m going
to tell Mary Anne
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00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,090
she just can’t
stay here anymore.
206
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,224
And nothing
you can do or say
207
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,226
will change my mind!
208
00:12:41,562 --> 00:12:42,696
Surprise time.
209
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,998
Mary Anne, there’s something
I have to say to you.
210
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,166
Well, before you do
there’s something
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00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,868
I’d like to say
to both of you.
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00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,170
I just want to thank you
for letting me stay here.
213
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,305
And as a token
of my appreciation
214
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,374
I want you to have
these watches.
215
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,880
Those look expensive.
216
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,215
Oh, they are.
I bought them in Geneva.
217
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,817
I was gonna give them
to you for Christmas
218
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,819
but you guys
have been so good to me
219
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,387
I just couldn’t wait.
220
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,255
This one’s for you.
221
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,258
And this
one’s for you.
222
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,901
Wow.
223
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:25,572
Cousin,
was there...something
224
00:13:25,606 --> 00:13:28,008
you wanted to say
to Mary Anne?
225
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:32,245
Yeah see,
M‐Mary Anne, listen.
226
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:35,916
Look, I‐I‐I just
have to tell you that...
227
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:39,385
Well, l‐look,
y‐y‐you just can’t...
228
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:43,356
...know what a joy it is
having you stay with us.
229
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,133
[instrumental music]
230
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:01,474
Uh, Jennifer, I am not
taking sides in this thing.
231
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,277
I’m not the one who invited
Mary Anne to stay here.
232
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,179
No, uh, no, Jennifer,
I’m warning you.
233
00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,582
If you hang up on me again,
I am not calling you back.
234
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,083
Hel‐hello?
235
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,890
Cousin, good news!
236
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,592
Balki,
Mary Anne is out of here.
237
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,126
Cousin,
I came up with a plan
238
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,028
to get Jennifer
and Mary Anne back together.
239
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,564
Well, good, then maybe
we can work on a plan
240
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:25,666
to get Jennifer
and me back together.
241
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:26,933
Now, what’s your plan?
242
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,334
I reminded Mary Anne that
243
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,270
her television set
was still upstairs
244
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,372
and she went up
to get it!
245
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:38,979
Cousin, don’t you see?
246
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,515
When Mary Anne walks
in that room
247
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,417
and she sees Jennifer
and they start talking
248
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:47,588
the floodgates
of friendship will open up
249
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:51,558
and irrigate them both with
the milk of human kindness!
250
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,496
I don’t believe it!
251
00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:59,566
That witch upstairs changed
the locks on the doors!
252
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,970
Hey,
miss‐have‐a friend‐for‐20‐years
253
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,706
and‐stab‐her‐in‐the‐back!
254
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:09,275
(Jennifer)
’Yeah, what is it,
beans‐for‐brains?’
255
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,682
I want my television back.
256
00:15:15,716 --> 00:15:17,050
’Fine.’
257
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,322
Well,
I guess I told her.
258
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,558
[clattering]
259
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:31,131
That does it!
I’ll show her!
260
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,599
(Larry)
Mary Anne,
what are you gonna do?
261
00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:35,201
I’m going to go out
and buy a new television!
262
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:42,408
It’s a good thing
I didn’t remind
263
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,711
Mary Anne about
her refrigerator.
264
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:49,282
Alright, Balki, it is time
to take direct action.
265
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:53,253
‐And I have a plan!
‐Oh, God!
266
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,354
Balki, if we
don’t do something
267
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,657
Jennifer and Mary Anne
may never get back together.
268
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,491
And the two of us are gonna
spend the rest of our lives
269
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:01,094
with our tray tables
in the upright position!
270
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,297
Let’s hear the plan.
271
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,336
[instrumental music]
272
00:16:11,672 --> 00:16:13,239
(Larry)
’Thanks for understanding,
Jennifer.’
273
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,642
I’m glad
we’re talking again.
274
00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:18,011
Well,
I don’t know, Larry.
275
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:21,314
I mean, um,
I’m living alone now.
276
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,249
I thought that, um...
277
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,752
...maybe we could
go up to my place
278
00:16:25,786 --> 00:16:29,222
and, um, put on
some soft music
279
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,625
and, uh...
280
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,594
...decide what to do.
281
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:38,064
Now?
282
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,401
Now.
283
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,370
Okay.
284
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,308
Yeah. Yeah.
285
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,143
Yeah.
286
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,812
No.
287
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,548
No.
288
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:58,151
No, Jennifer, I‐I‐I really
think it would be better
289
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,688
if, uh, we just
stay here and watch TV.
290
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,633
Wait a minute, you would
rather stay here and watch TV
291
00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:14,601
than go
upstairs with me?
292
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:24,477
Yeah.
293
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,316
[indistinct chatter]
294
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,753
‐Mary Anne.
‐Jennifer.
295
00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:35,221
Well, isn’t this
the darndest surprise?
296
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:39,225
Cousin Larry! Jennifer!
297
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,529
Well, slap my face,
and call me Zsa‐Zsa.
298
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,770
Oh, so now I see
what’s going on.
299
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:51,805
Now, now, hold on, now, now,
come on, come on, now
300
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,240
Jennifer, just a minute.
301
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,748
Not so fast, pilgrim!
302
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,587
Balki, give me the key.
303
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,656
I don’t think so.
304
00:18:09,690 --> 00:18:12,125
‐Ha!
‐Well, then give me the key.
305
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:15,461
Double ha!
Oh, stop it! Stop it!
306
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,298
Larry, give me the key.
307
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,403
Give it to me,
give it to me.
308
00:18:25,806 --> 00:18:27,140
‐Ha!
‐Ha!
309
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,410
‐Ha!
‐Ha!
310
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,678
‐Ha!
‐Ha!
311
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,849
There, now,
the door is locked
312
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:38,652
the key is gone,
there’s no way out.
313
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,421
Now, no one is leaving here
until you girls sit down
314
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,824
and get this
mess settled.
315
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:45,726
Oh, yeah, well,
I’m calling a locksmith
316
00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:47,794
to get me
out of here.
317
00:18:47,828 --> 00:18:50,797
Call two locksmiths.
I want to get out of here too.
318
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:55,368
Alright, Balki,
we’ve done what we can.
319
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:56,703
Let’s just forget it.
320
00:18:56,737 --> 00:18:58,939
These two are never
gonna get back together.
321
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,908
Oh, come on, cousin,
You can’t just give up.
322
00:19:01,942 --> 00:19:05,712
Just because two turtle doves
want to fly the coop
323
00:19:05,746 --> 00:19:07,213
don’t mean you make it
easy for them
324
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,215
and buy them
tickets to Miami.
325
00:19:10,951 --> 00:19:12,886
Get me
a locksmith too.
326
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:19,359
I got to get out of here. I am
tired of this Mypos garbage.
327
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,263
"Every barnyard
has a silver lining."
328
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,267
’Give me a break.’
329
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,236
Well, I was just
trying to be nice...
330
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,205
...something you might
want to try sometime
331
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:34,174
you big babasticki‐head!
332
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,413
Well, let me
tell you something.
333
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,282
"When you lie
down with sheep...
334
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,250
...you wake up
with ticks."
335
00:19:48,989 --> 00:19:53,493
"Sticks and stones
may hurt Shirley Jones...
336
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:58,364
...but nerds
will never harm me."
337
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,702
Now, is that supposed
to mean something?
338
00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:04,370
You’ve lived in this country
for four years!
339
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,507
Why don’t you learn
the language?
340
00:20:08,609 --> 00:20:10,476
I know enough
of the language to tell you
341
00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:13,714
what I think of you
in most uncertain terms!
342
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,382
Oh, yeah?
343
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,885
You’re short,
you’re stubborn
344
00:20:18,919 --> 00:20:20,621
and you’re short!
345
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:27,728
This from a man
who names his shoes.
346
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,730
Well,
if that bothers you
347
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:32,566
maybe I’ll just
lace up Phil and Andy
348
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:35,335
and walk
right out of here.
349
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,671
Balki, I can’t believe
you’re doing this.
350
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:40,607
Guys, guys, you can’t just throw
away a friendship like that.
351
00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:43,476
Why not? I can’t stand
living with this guy.
352
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:45,011
I’ve dreamed
of living alone.
353
00:20:45,045 --> 00:20:46,379
Get yourself
another roommate.
354
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,616
I will.
Roommates are a dime a dance.
355
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,720
But good friendships aren’t.
356
00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:56,022
You can’t let petty
disagreements break them up.
357
00:20:56,056 --> 00:20:57,290
Petty disagreements?
358
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:58,224
What, like moving out
359
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,994
because someone insults
your hair color?
360
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:04,631
That happened
to you too?
361
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,503
Uh, Mary Anne, they’re‐they’re
talking about us.
362
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,738
They’re trying to show
us that we’re letting
363
00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:14,407
petty disagreements
break up a friendship.
364
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:16,710
Now, come on, girls.
365
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:18,444
This has gone
on long enough.
366
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,681
It’s time for you
to say you’re sorry.
367
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:36,396
‐I’m sorry, Mary Anne.
‐I’m sorry, Jennifer.
368
00:21:37,931 --> 00:21:38,932
Oh.
369
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,472
Thanks for showing us
how silly we were.
370
00:21:46,507 --> 00:21:47,574
Oh...
371
00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:51,545
You made it easy.
372
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:05,826
Hey, good friends
are hard to come by.
373
00:22:05,859 --> 00:22:09,495
Cousin Larry’s right.
We’re all very lucky.
374
00:22:09,530 --> 00:22:11,364
Hey, I got a great idea.
375
00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:14,067
Why don’t we all go out
to dinner, and celebrate?
376
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,771
‐That’s a great idea.
‐But we’re locked in.
377
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:21,074
No. This is the real key.
378
00:22:33,086 --> 00:22:35,055
[instrumental music]
379
00:22:40,861 --> 00:22:43,630
[theme music]