1
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[theme music]

2
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♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
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♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

4
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♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
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♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

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♪ No matter what
the odds are this time ♪

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♪ Nothing’s going to stand
in my way ♪

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♪ This flame in my heart ♪

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♪ Like a long lost friend ♪

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♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

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♪ Standing tall ♪

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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

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♪ Rise and fall ♪

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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

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♪ The rain and thunder ♪

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♪ The wind and haze ♪

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♪ I’m bound for better days ♪

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♪ It’s my life and my dream ♪

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♪ Nothing’s going to stop
me now ♪

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[instrumental music]

21
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[humming]

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♪ If there’s something strange ♪

23
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♪ In your neighborhood ♪

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♪ Who you gonna call ♪

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♪ Dirtbuster ♪

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♪ And it don’t look good ♪

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♪ Who you gonna call ♪

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♪ Dirtbuster ♪

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♪ I ain’t afraid
of no dirt ♪

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Oh, cousin!

31
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I see you ate a doughnut
on the way home.

32
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I brought you your favorite...
chocolate covered.

33
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Hot diggity doughnut!

34
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But I can’t eat
them right now

35
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and I’ll tell you why.

36
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Because I’ve got some news
that’s gonna blow your nose.

37
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What’s that?

38
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Cousin,
Marvin is on his way

39
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over here to take us
out to dinner.

40
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Marvin?
Marvin who?

41
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Marvin Berman.
Don’t you remember him?

42
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Marvin Berman...

43
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...Marvin Berman?

44
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Marvin Berman!

45
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(Larry)
’Alright, you stay.
We’re leaving.’

46
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Nobody is going anywhere.

47
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Oh, and how are you
going to stop us?

48
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With this.

49
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[intense music]

50
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Oh, my Lord!

51
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He’s wearing
a dynamite vest.

52
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Marvin...

53
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:49,703
...why are you doing this
over a silly article?

54
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Because it gave all the credit
to that idiot boss of mine.

55
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When the real mastermind behind
the money laundering scheme...

56
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...was me.

57
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‐You?
‐Yes.

58
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I set up
the dummy corporations.

59
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I set up
the fake bank accounts.

60
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I picked out
the office furniture.

61
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[timer beeping]

62
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Guys...

63
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Guys, I can’t
turn off the timer.

64
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Oh, God...

65
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...I‐I’m no good
under pressure.

66
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Oh! I‐I‐I’m‐I’m a fainter.

67
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No. No! Marvin!
Marvin!

68
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Marvin, wake up!

69
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Cousin, we better do
something soon.

70
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We’ve only got
20 seconds left.

71
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:24,505
Twenty seconds?

72
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Eighteen...

73
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,974
...seventeen...
sixteen...

74
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Balki,
we’re gonna die!

75
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,477
We’re gonna die!

76
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We’re going to die!

77
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We’re going to die!

78
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,950
How could you do
this to me?

79
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,585
How could you invite

80
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a certified homicidal maniac

81
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:43,790
into our home?

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I can’t talk
while you’re doing that.

83
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Thank you.

84
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Cousin, first of all...

85
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...Marvin is not a certified
homicidal mechanic.

86
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:05,311
He’s a certified
public accountant.

87
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:09,315
Balki, he tried
to blow us up.

88
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Oh! Is that
what you’re worried about?

89
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Marvin has kicked
the dynamite habit.

90
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:16,657
His therapist says
he’s completely cured

91
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and he just wants to come over
and take us out to dinner

92
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as a way
of saying thanks.

93
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Thanks for what?

94
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For keeping him
from being blown to figurines.

95
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Balki, I really need
some time to think about this.

96
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:32,005
Well, of course you do,
don’t be ridiculous.

97
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Take all the time
you need.

98
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[knock on door]

99
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Time’s up.
That’s Marvin.

100
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‐Marvin!
‐Hello, Balki.

101
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:46,987
‐Oh.
‐Oh.

102
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,523
‐Hi, Larry.
‐Hi, Marvin.

103
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Oh, it’s good
to see you guys.

104
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,327
Oh boy, it’s good
to see you too.

105
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,930
Listen, guys, I have
something I have to show you.

106
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I am wearing...

107
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...a dynamite vest!

108
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Oh! Oh! Oh.

109
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‐Gotcha.
‐Oh, Marvin.

110
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You are some kidder.

111
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,877
Well, Dr. Shore
at the hospital told me

112
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,513
if I could
laugh at my problems

113
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I’d be able to handle
them better.

114
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Well, it kind
of makes it rough

115
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on the rest of us, Marvin.

116
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Oh, hey, I’m sorry, Larry.

117
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Listen, if it weren’t
for you two guys

118
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I‐I’d still be trying
to solve my problems

119
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by blowing people up.

120
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,661
Oh, Marvin,
po, po, po...

121
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I’m sure after you exploded
one bomb on your chest

122
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you’d see
it wasn’t a solution.

123
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Maybe.

124
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But you guys
changed my life.

125
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,942
You got, you got me to give
myself up, get psychiatric help

126
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,044
testify against my boss...

127
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,311
...who took all
the credit for that

128
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,748
money laundering scheme
that was actually my idea!

129
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:51,084
‐Marvin.
‐I’m over that now.

130
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:53,654
L‐listen, I owe you guys a lot,
and the least I can do

131
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is take you out
for a night on the town.

132
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Oh, cousin,
isn’t that nice?

133
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,093
‐Charming.
‐Wait a minute.

134
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,563
‐What’s this?
‐Dynamite!

135
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,830
Hit the deck!

136
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,635
Gotcha again.
It’s chocolate.

137
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:14,541
See?
"Shtick of dynamite."

138
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The‐the‐the candy store also
had a butterscotch hand grenade

139
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but I thought
this was funnier.

140
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:22,482
Oh, I tell you,
the‐the doctor was right.

141
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Having a sense of humor
makes life a blast.

142
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,588
[laughs]

143
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,556
Oh! Makes life a blast!

144
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,757
"Life a blast."

145
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,159
[laughs]

146
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:36,730
Oh!
Ha ha ha!

147
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:38,464
[no audio]

148
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[instrumental music]

149
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[indistinct chatter]

150
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Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!

151
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I haven’t, I haven’t,
I haven’t even told you

152
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,582
the punch line yet.

153
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,984
So the guy
turns around to the kangaroo

154
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:01,522
and he says, "Don’t look at me.
You’re the one with the pouch!"

155
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,860
I love marsupial humor.

156
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,996
Boy, am I glad
I didn’t blow you guys up.

157
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,599
Oh boy, I am too.

158
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:16,136
Hey...to celebrate the fact
that we’re still alive

159
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,739
I’m gonna make
some cocoa.

160
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:22,475
Oh! Oh, ya, you know,
Marvin, I‐I gotta tell ya

161
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,745
[chuckles]
I‐I was a little
nervous at first.

162
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,013
‐Oh! Ah!
‐You are an okay guy.

163
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,616
No, this evening has
been a lot of fun.

164
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,851
It sure has.

165
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You know, a lot of people
told me, I‐I shouldn’t go out

166
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,756
in public, because they figured
I’d be gunned down.

167
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,028
Marvin, you want
marshmallows?

168
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,764
Two, please.

169
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,599
Marvin,
wh‐what do you mean

170
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,568
you might be
gunned down?

171
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,102
Oh, don’t worry
about me.

172
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,070
Tomorrow, I go into

173
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:52,639
the Government Witness
Protection program.

174
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,241
Congratulations, Marvin.
Cousin, you want marshmallows?

175
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,578
One.
Thanks.

176
00:07:57,611 --> 00:08:00,614
Marvin...who do you need
to be protected from?

177
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:01,815
I thought all the people
you testified

178
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,050
against were sent to prison.

179
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,519
All except two.

180
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,554
They couldn’t make a case
against them, heh‐heh.

181
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:11,224
Balki...
which do you prefer?

182
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,793
The big marshmallows
or the minis?

183
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,227
Oh, I like the big ones.

184
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,663
They last longer
and every once in a while

185
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,232
you come across one that
looks like Tip O’Neill.

186
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:26,006
Marvin, these two guys that
you didn’t send to prison

187
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,875
aren’t they kind
of upset with you?

188
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,243
Oh, yeah.

189
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:34,548
But who cares? They’re just
a couple of enforcers.

190
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,917
Balki, just
a suggestion...nutmeg.

191
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,652
Love it!

192
00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,690
‐Enforcers?
‐Yeah.

193
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:46,727
You know, gangsters,
hit men who kill people.

194
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,631
‐Who wants Sweet’n Low?
‐Me.

195
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:53,166
Well, Marvin, you shouldn’t
be out in public.

196
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,069
Larry, there is nothing
to worry about.

197
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,672
‐I have contacts.
‐Contacts?

198
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,842
You mean you know people who
will protect you from the mob?

199
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,845
No. I mean,
I’m wearing contacts.

200
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,012
They change the color
of my eyes.

201
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,014
Nobody will
recognize me.

202
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,252
‐Changes my whole appearance.
‐Well, Marvin.

203
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,588
You know, uh, it’s been
very nice seeing you again

204
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,590
and good luck
in all your endeavors.

205
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,692
Wait a minute!
I‐I haven’t had my cocoa yet.

206
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:19,926
We’ll mail it to you.

207
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,764
I‐I don’t believe
what my eyes are hearing.

208
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,068
Was it the nutmeg remark?
I’m not married to the nutmeg.

209
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,205
‐Cousin‐‐
‐No, Balki, don’t you get it?

210
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,874
The mob is after this man.

211
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,042
They want to kill him,
and if we are with him

212
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,244
they might want
to kill us too.

213
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,479
Are you saying you
want me to leave?

214
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:42,115
Because if you want me to leave,
just say you want me to leave.

215
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,851
‐I want you to leave.
‐What are you saying?

216
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,290
We’re saying,
we‐we don’t want you to leave.

217
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,358
Cousin, cousin,
your imagination is playing

218
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,060
trick or treat
with your mind.

219
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,261
We haven’t seen
anyone that looks like

220
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,797
they want
to hurt Marvin.

221
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,164
Uh, of course,
you wouldn’t see them.

222
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,033
No, no, no.
T‐they’re professionals.

223
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,301
That’s right.

224
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,771
For all we know they could have
been following us all night.

225
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,808
We‐we don’t know if they’re
just watching us right now...

226
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,409
Oh, my Lord!

227
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,045
The‐the blinds
are wide open!

228
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,714
Cousin, cousin, cousin

229
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,683
you’re making a mountain
out of a Mohawk.

230
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,221
The next thing
you’re going to say

231
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,156
is that‐that big,
humongous man

232
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,391
standing across the street
is a killer.

233
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,960
Oh, my God!

234
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,962
That looks like
Max the Terminator!

235
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,099
It’s Arnold Schwarzenegger?

236
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,237
Arnold, loved you
in "Twins!"

237
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,340
No, no, no,
no, no.

238
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,844
Max is the mob’s top hit man.
He’s the best.

239
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:47,413
‐This is really quite an honor.
‐Well...you deserve it.

240
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,815
Oh!

241
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,352
We’ve got to call
the police.

242
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,693
Hello! Hello?
The phone’s dead.

243
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:02,696
They cut the wires.

244
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:06,099
Well, they’re
in big trouble now.

245
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,102
They’ll have to answer
to the phone company for this.

246
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,206
We’ve got to make
a run for it!

247
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,286
Cousin, why we did
come back in?

248
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,454
Because there’s a man
blocking the stairs.

249
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,756
He must be one
of the killers.

250
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,324
He’s wearing
a shoulder holster.

251
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,393
Well, just because
the man is a fashion maverick

252
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,395
don’t mean
he’s a bad person.

253
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:40,934
A gun! He has a gun
in the shoulder holster.

254
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,769
Oh God!
We’re trapped!

255
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,771
We’re all gonna die!

256
00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:53,246
[instrumental music]

257
00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:01,087
There’s a hit man on the street,
another on the stairs.

258
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,423
I don’t wanna die.
I don’t wanna die.

259
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,792
‐I don’t wanna die.
‐No, Marvin! Marvin! Marvin!

260
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,794
‐Pull yourself together!
‐Whoa!

261
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,796
Oh, I don’t
feel too good.

262
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,031
I better lie down.

263
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,899
I’m a fainter,
you know.

264
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,034
Oh.

265
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,002
It’s gonna be alright.
It’s gonna be alright.

266
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,104
We just have to
find a way

267
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,340
to get a message
out of here!

268
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:23,109
Cousin, if we were outdoors,
we could make a fire

269
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,277
and send up
smoke signals.

270
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,946
Yeah, well,
we’re not outdoors...

271
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,515
‐Signals! Yes!
‐I’ll get the matches!

272
00:12:28,549 --> 00:12:30,216
You want me to start
breaking up furniture?

273
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,018
No! No!

274
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,319
Balki!

275
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,021
[grunts]

276
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,294
Not smoke signals.

277
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:47,901
We’ll tap out a distress signal
in Morse Code on the ceiling.

278
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,369
Jennifer and Mary Anne
will hear it

279
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,371
and call the police!

280
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:53,840
Let’s go!

281
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:54,875
(both)
Aah!

282
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,478
Jennifer and Mary Anne
know Morse Code?

283
00:12:58,512 --> 00:12:59,846
They’re flight
attendants.

284
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,382
They learn all the codes,
Morse, area, zip.

285
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,119
Now, we’ll send an SOS.

286
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,854
S is dot‐dash‐dot.

287
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,990
‐No cousin, it’s dot‐dot‐dot.
‐No, it’s dot‐dash‐dot.

288
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,057
‐Dot‐dot‐dot.
‐Dot‐dash‐dot.

289
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,125
‐Dot‐dot‐dot.
‐Dot‐dash‐dot.

290
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,226
‐Dot‐dot‐dot.
‐Dot‐dash‐dot.

291
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,227
Cousin, cousin.

292
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,931
I used to work
for Mypos Western Union, okay?

293
00:13:18,599 --> 00:13:20,601
Dot‐dot‐dot.

294
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:23,303
Alright.
Yeah, wait!

295
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,412
[pounding]

296
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,868
Sorry.

297
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,505
I guess I over‐tapped.

298
00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:00,206
[knock on door]

299
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,042
Wow!

300
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,345
That was quick.

301
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,014
I must be good.

302
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,453
Well, careful.
This could be a trick.

303
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,593
Who is it?

304
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,296
(Jennifer)
’Larry, stop clowning around.’

305
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,069
Jennifer, Mary Anne,
get‐get in here quick.

306
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,404
What’s all
the screaming about?

307
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,173
Girls, go back upstairs

308
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,109
we’re trying to send you
a message to call the police.

309
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,277
Well, it’s too late now.

310
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,880
No, it isn’t, cousin,
the police are open all night.

311
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,316
Larry, What’s all this
about the police?

312
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,351
Jennifer, I don’t
want to alarm you

313
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,955
but we’re surrounded
by killers.

314
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,423
You’re kidding, right?

315
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,358
No, he’s serious.

316
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,695
‐Who are you?
‐Uh, I’m Marvin Berman.

317
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,163
The man the killers
are trying to kill.

318
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,532
How do you do?

319
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,136
I’m Mary Anne.
Nice to meet you.

320
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,107
Someone’s trying
to kill you?

321
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,309
Well, I‐I think,
I think I can clear this up.

322
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:13,446
You see, Marvin, uh,
was a witness against the mob

323
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,649
and they’re not
taking it well

324
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,385
so...they sent
Arnold Schwarzenegger

325
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:23,456
and the fashion victim
down the hall...to kill him.

326
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:26,993
But don’t worry, because
if we can hold on till tomorrow

327
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:30,363
Marvin will be in
the Witness Projectile Program.

328
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,267
Marvin Berman!

329
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,137
Well, you’re the guy who tried
to blow up Larry and Balki.

330
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,105
‐Guilty as charged.
‐Oh.

331
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,209
Why don’t we just
call the police?

332
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,745
The phone lines
have been cut.

333
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:47,614
‐You mean, we’re trapped?
‐No, we are not.

334
00:15:47,648 --> 00:15:49,249
Someone could go up
the fire escape

335
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,017
across the roof
to the next building.

336
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,654
‐You could get help there.
‐That might work.

337
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:57,057
Even if Max shoots, the falling
body will draw attention.

338
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,997
Well, somebody’s
got to do something.

339
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,133
‐I’m going.
‐Be careful, Larry.

340
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,637
Jennifer,
if I don’t come back...

341
00:16:10,671 --> 00:16:13,106
...promise me
you’ll never marry.

342
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,212
Gee, Larry,
never is a long time.

343
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:23,316
I’ll have to
think about it.

344
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,318
That’s good enough for me.

345
00:16:27,588 --> 00:16:29,523
Well...

346
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,491
...I guess this is it.

347
00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,697
(Balki)
’There goes a brave man.’

348
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:40,701
’A man who is willing
to risk his life’

349
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,536
for his friends.

350
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,171
A man who is willing

351
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,508
to fight any foe.

352
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:52,646
A man, who is coming back
in the window.

353
00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:56,717
There’s another man
on the roof.

354
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,184
There’s no way out.

355
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,586
Boy, I bet they wouldn’t
treat me like this

356
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,321
if I was wearing dynamite.

357
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,289
[knock on door]

358
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,659
(male #1)
’Anybody home?
It’s the phone man.’

359
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,728
Oh, thank goodness,
it’s the phone man.

360
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:11,064
(all)
No. No! No!

361
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,499
Mary Anne, it’s the oldest
trick in the book.

362
00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,135
They cut the phone lines,
and then they send in

363
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,303
a killer posing
as a repairman.

364
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,339
Oh, what are we
going to do?

365
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,674
Alright, look.

366
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:21,808
We’ll take him
by surprise.

367
00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:24,177
When he comes in,
we’ll throw a blanket over him

368
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,379
and tie him up!
Balki, you get the tape.

369
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:29,115
Good idea, cousin.
We’ll record the capture.

370
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,352
Not that
kind of tape.

371
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,221
Get tape
to tie him up.

372
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,322
Alright, Jennifer
and Mary Anne

373
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,559
don’t open the door
till I give you the signal.

374
00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:40,393
Marvin, stick with me.

375
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,462
[knock on door]

376
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,565
(male #1)
’Anybody home?
It’s the phone man.’

377
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,237
[knock on door]

378
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,639
Ready?

379
00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:53,774
Now.

380
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,311
Won’t you come in?

381
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,613
I’m here to
eliminate a problem.

382
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,648
[screaming]

383
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,253
Spin him.

384
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:08,555
Spin him.

385
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,661
Balki, quick!
In the closet.

386
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,736
Not you!

387
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,338
Him! Him!

388
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,384
Now all we have to do
is do that every time

389
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,353
someone knocks on the door,
and we’re home free.

390
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,190
I hope we don’t run out
of blankets.

391
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,458
[knock on door]

392
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:52,465
[mumbling]

393
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:01,842
Right.

394
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,345
‐Won’t you come in?
‐Hello, I’m looking for‐‐

395
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,780
[screaming]

396
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:07,881
Spin him!

397
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,550
Spin him!
Spin him!

398
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,518
Freeze! FBI!

399
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:17,190
Cousin, it’s the oldest
trick in the book.

400
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,427
They pose as FBI agents

401
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,164
and then they come in
and fix your phone.

402
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:31,371
‐Dr. Shore!
‐You know him?

403
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,339
Shore? Sure.

404
00:19:35,709 --> 00:19:36,877
I’m a psychiatrist.

405
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,746
I’ve been working with Marvin
for the past six months.

406
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:42,649
So these really are
FBI agents.

407
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,317
You know, in this light

408
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,620
he doesn’t look like
Max the Terminator at all.

409
00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:52,959
But he does kind of look like
the neighbor on "Doogie Howser."

410
00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,898
A lot of people
tell me that.

411
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:01,467
Marvin ran away
from the hotel

412
00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:03,737
where he was being held
in protective custody...

413
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,606
...and given his
rather explosive past

414
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:07,240
the FBI thought
it would be wise

415
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,475
if I talk him
into coming back.

416
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:11,978
You didn’t have to go
to all that trouble.

417
00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:13,880
Marvin, don’t you think
it would be nice

418
00:20:13,914 --> 00:20:14,781
if you went with
these gentlemen

419
00:20:14,815 --> 00:20:17,383
and got a head start
on your new life?

420
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,385
Sure, Dr. Shore.

421
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,455
Oh, Balki, Larry...

422
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,658
...it’s really been
an exciting evening.

423
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,928
Marvin, I’m gonna miss you,
you big lug nut!

424
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:30,897
Oh! I’m gonna
miss you too.

425
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,999
Listen, if you’re ever in
Topeka, Kansas, look me up.

426
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,768
M‐my new name’s
Orville Purdue.

427
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,269
Marvin!

428
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,471
You’re not supposed
to tell people that.

429
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:42,042
Oh! Ugh, forget that,
forget that.

430
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,945
‐Oh! Goodbye, Larry.
‐Goodbye, Marvin.

431
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,847
Nice meeting you, ladies.

432
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,815
‐Coming, Shore?
‐Sure.

433
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:57,758
Well, h‐how do you
like that?

434
00:20:57,791 --> 00:21:01,562
They weren’t killers
after all. They were FBI.

435
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:02,896
Larry, don’t take
this personally

436
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,631
but this is
the last time

437
00:21:04,665 --> 00:21:06,600
I come downstairs
when I hear screaming.

438
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,536
Perfectly
understandable.

439
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:14,440
Thanks for
a lovely evening, Balki.

440
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,411
I don’t get it,
I thought we were gonna see

441
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,913
Arnold Schwarzenegger.

442
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,521
Well, why don’t we
clean this place up?

443
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:29,623
Then I’m gonna turn in.

444
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:32,425
Fear of death
really tires me out.

445
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,704
(both)
Oh! Oh! Oh!

446
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:46,507
W‐w‐we’re sorry.

447
00:21:46,540 --> 00:21:48,509
I’m so sorry.

448
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:52,112
We‐we thought
you were, uh, a killer.

449
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:53,780
Well, I’m not a killer,
I’m with the phone company!

450
00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:55,749
The phones
in this building are out.

451
00:21:56,850 --> 00:21:57,951
By the way,
where’s your phone?

452
00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,553
Uh, it’s right over there.

453
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:03,356
Thanks.

454
00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:06,827
While you’re here, we’d like to
talk to you about call waiting.

455
00:22:18,572 --> 00:22:20,507
You got it!

456
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:33,987
Well, if that’s all it took,
we could have done it ourselves.

457
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:46,466
[theme music]