1
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,406
And we have something
to celebrate.

2
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,742
The paper is sending me to
Los Angeles for the weekend.

3
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:10,744
Oh, my Lord!

4
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,213
That's Marco Madison.

5
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,781
He's very big
in the underworld.

6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,316
Balki, tape this for me.

7
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:20,688
(GROANS)

8
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,625
Get those guys.

9
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:26,660
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

10
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,730
Rosebud.

11
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,969
Cousin, I videotaped the murder.

12
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,505
The tape will
prove us innocent.

13
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:40,308
All we need is to,
to find someplace

14
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,943
where we can play back the tape.

15
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:46,180
NEWSREADER: The two
suspects are considered
armed and dangerous.

16
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,981
Hey, hey, wait, stop!

17
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,251
Balki, get in the car!

18
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:51,585
Get in the car! Get in the car!

19
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:52,786
Oh, God! God! God!

20
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,757
Balki, I think
they're getting closer!

21
00:00:56,824 --> 00:01:02,663
BALKI:
Oh! Oh! Oh!

22
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,432
(BOTH SCREAMING)

23
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,811
* Sometimes the world
looks perfect

24
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:23,884
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling

25
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:27,288
* Like you need
some kind of change

26
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,395
* Nothings gonna stand
in my way

27
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,565
* This flame in my heart
like a long-lost friend

28
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,300
* Gives every dark street

29
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,702
* A light at the end

30
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,573
* Standing tall

31
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:49,377
* On the wings of my dream

32
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,446
* Rise and fall

33
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:56,250
* On the wings of my dream

34
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:59,520
* The rain and thunder
the wind and haze

35
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:01,822
* I'm bound for better days

36
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:06,394
* My life and my dream

37
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,463
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *

38
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,740
(TIRES SCREECHING)

39
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,342
(GUNS FIRING)

40
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,078
I think they're getting closer!

41
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,914
BALKI: Oh! Oh! Oh!

42
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,184
Uh, cousin, Don't worry
about them, worry about that!

43
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,221
(BOTH SCREAMING)

44
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,359
Oh! Oh!

45
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,528
I... I hope you know
where we are going

46
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,930
because the street map
was in the sun visor.

47
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,572
Balki, there's Jennifer
and Mary Anne.

48
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,741
Hey, Jennifer and Mary Anne!

49
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,213
Jennifer! Jennifer, Mary Anne!

50
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,948
Quick, get in the car.

51
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,983
Why has the top of this car
been torn off?

52
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,886
Please, get in the car first
and then I'll explain.

53
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:13,327
Now, what's going on?

54
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,928
It could have happened
to anybody.

55
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,931
We were at the wedding

56
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,467
Cousin, eyes on the road.

57
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,135
Well, suddenly I saw
Marco Madison big time gangster

58
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,404
and, and, and Balki and I

59
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:28,976
followed him and his pals
to the garage

60
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,278
Excuse me, cousin, we?

61
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,712
Anyway, the dead guy

62
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:34,415
turned out to be
an undercover drug agent.

63
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,816
So you're wanted for murder

64
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,085
because Marco Madison
killed this guy?

65
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:41,355
No. We're wanted for murder
because the guy died
in my arms

66
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,591
while I was holding
the murder weapon.

67
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,925
It was the weirdest thing,
Jennifer.

68
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,861
He looked up at me and said,
"Rosebud."

69
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,398
But, Larry, if Balki
videotaped the murder

70
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,132
why don't you just
take the tape to the police?

71
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,735
Because we have no idea
what's on the tape.

72
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:57,838
We've got to get to a TV
before Marco's men get to us.

73
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,474
Cousin, there's a TV!

74
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,811
(TIRES SCREECHING)

75
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,687
Come on! Let's go
take a look at this tape!

76
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,564
Wait here where it's safe.

77
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,333
Right.

78
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,880
Welcome to Roy's Tattoo Parlor.

79
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,353
I'm Roy.
I'm Balki.

80
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,054
You want a tattoo
or did you just come in

81
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,791
to enjoy the ambiance?

82
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,361
He wants a tattoo. Uh, can I use
your TV for just a moment?

83
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,495
Okay.

84
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,630
So which tattoo would you like?

85
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,031
Oh!

86
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:00,300
Well, I don't know.
What's a tattoo?

87
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,337
Those are tattoos.

88
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,774
(STATIC BUZZING)

89
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,544
Hey, cousin, look at these.
These are beautiful.

90
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,547
Look, cousin,
He's got a, a snake

91
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:17,451
slithering through the eye
sockets of a human skull.

92
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:18,986
And, uh, and...

93
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,321
Oh, there's Regis
and Kathie Lee.

94
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,828
Hey, cousin, which tattoo
you think I should get.

95
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:30,030
One you can enjoy in prison
for the rest of your life.

96
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,400
'Cause we got nothing,
but static.

97
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,201
So which tattoo
do you want, pal?

98
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,370
What's that?
That's a tattoo needle.

99
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:39,172
Which tattoo do you want?
Uh...

100
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,141
Well, I don't know.
What-what have you got?

101
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,876
I'll show you what I got.

102
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,479
Argh!

103
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,983
Well, uh, do, do,
do you have the "Muppet Babies?"

104
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,352
Ooh, that's our second most
requested number.

105
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,457
Most people want a cobra
on their face.

106
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,128
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
there's something on the tape!

107
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,366
You don't lie to me.
I'm not lying.

108
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:07,701
Hey!

109
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:08,769
(GROANS)

110
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,977
(GROANS)

111
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,547
That's, that's it!
You got it! It's all there!

112
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,249
Now we have proof
that we are innocent!

113
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,817
This isn't going to hurt, is it?

114
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,018
Oh, of course not.

115
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,086
(NEEDLE WHIRRING)

116
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,521
(SCREAMING)

117
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,789
Let's get this to the police!

118
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:30,858
Come on.

119
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,230
We're home free.
Balki got
the whole thing on tape.

120
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:38,298
It's perfect!

121
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,700
MAN: Hold it!

122
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,202
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

123
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,504
Come on, Balki!

124
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,575
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

125
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:20,608
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

126
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,512
I don't think they saw us.

127
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,652
Balki, I think we're safe.

128
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,623
You know...

129
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,826
There's something about this
whole thing that smells rotten.

130
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,194
It's us, cousin, we were
just sitting in garbage.

131
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,771
No, I mean,

132
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:53,373
why would
a respectable politician

133
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,909
invite a gangster
to his wedding?

134
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,477
If I can just
figure out the connection

135
00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,113
between Marco Madison
and Commissioner Albrecht

136
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,949
I think I've got
a front page story.

137
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,518
Balki, I think things
might be looking up.

138
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:10,290
Well, think again.

139
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,825
Okay, okay.

140
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,127
Uh, here's my money.

141
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,363
Is that all of it?

142
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,365
Well, uh, to be perfectly honest

143
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,100
no, no, that isn't all of it

144
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,236
and you did ask
for, for all my money.

145
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,906
So, so, uh, fair is fair.

146
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,141
Here you go.

147
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,744
I didn't mean to lie.
I'm, I'm sorry about that.

148
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,680
So you want to take this?

149
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,848
This is a locket that...

150
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,550
This is an heirloom
in my family.

151
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,719
My, my, my mother gave me this

152
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,821
and she wept
as she gave it to me.

153
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,455
If you look inside--
Balki!

154
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,691
How about you, shorty?

155
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,793
Oh, uh, uh, alright.

156
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,329
Here, here, uh, here you go.

157
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,298
Now, give me the VCR.

158
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,001
No. No, no, not the VCR.

159
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,069
No, no, here.
Here, take my watch.

160
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,271
Take my cuff links,
or-or-or give us your address

161
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,740
I'll send you a big check.

162
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,675
Yeah, I'll take that,
but I still want the VCR.

163
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:04,544
No, no, no, no. Don't-don't...
Don't take the-the-the VCR.

164
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:06,513
Don't-Don't-Don't...
Bal-Balki, give him something!

165
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,817
Uh, can I, can I offer you
my shoes?

166
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,353
Now these are hand-made
of the finest goat bladder.

167
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,855
Look at the detail work on this.

168
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,624
I don't know what...
What size shoe are you?

169
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,059
The VCR!
No, don't take the VCR.

170
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,729
Take something else.
Take, take, take him.

171
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:25,666
Hold this.

172
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,035
Give me that!

173
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,639
Thanks.
Well, you're most welcome.

174
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,207
Nice doing business with you.
You forgot your shoes.

175
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,846
He took the VCR.

176
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,949
He took the evidence.

177
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,685
We're going to jail.

178
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,120
Oh, no, cousin,
we're not going to jail.

179
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,190
We're not?
Well, no, no, no.

180
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,661
Marco's men will kill us first,
you silly.

181
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,003
We were so close.

182
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,805
Another few minutes
and the police

183
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:07,440
would have had the tape,
our names would
have been cleared.

184
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,277
But no,
we had to get mugged.

185
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:13,814
We could've stayed in Chicago
and gotten mugged.

186
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:16,650
You know. You know, cousin,
I've been thinking.

187
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,019
Maybe that mugger
will play the tape

188
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:22,222
see that we're innocent
and bring it to the police.

189
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,523
Right.

190
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,992
And maybe pigs will fly.

191
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,860
No, cousin,
that don't usually happen

192
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:30,197
unless the pig
gets a good running start.

193
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,099
MAN 1: Seventy five dollars?
MAN 2: Yeah.

194
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,803
That's him.

195
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,971
This has an 18-day timer.

196
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,674
You can get yourself
like 32 tapes...

197
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,375
That's our VCR.

198
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,715
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

199
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,983
Uh, that's our VCR
and we need it back.

200
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,618
Sheila,
It's the crazy men again.

201
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,286
Alright!
You give us back our car

202
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,654
and our bike
and we'll talk about it.

203
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,189
We can't do that.

204
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,192
But that's our VCR.
It was stolen from us.

205
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:02,395
Who cares?

206
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:05,298
We never should have bought it.

207
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,034
Put a sock in it, Sheila.

208
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,202
This is the worst vacation
we ever had.

209
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,005
Gettin' this machine for $50
is the only good thing

210
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,807
that's happened
since we left the corn belt!

211
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,709
Okay, we don't need the machine.

212
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,911
Just give us the video cassette.

213
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,880
Hmm, that seems fair, Herb.

214
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:23,250
Oh, that is so very kind.
Where are you from?

215
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,053
Danville, Illinois.
Get out of the city!

216
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,121
We're from Chicago!
No!

217
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,623
No, I'm not kidding you!
Is that a coinc...

218
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,393
We should exchange addresses
so that we can write.

219
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,694
Absolutely. Yes, I--

220
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,229
Balki!
Sheila!

221
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,268
Give us that video cassette.

222
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,070
You're not getting
this machine.

223
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,338
(GRUNTING)

224
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:49,709
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

225
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,354
I'll sell it to you for $10.

226
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,727
(PANTING)

227
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,763
Ah!

228
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,765
Yes!

229
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,733
Alright, Balki, now we go
straight to the police

230
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,269
give them this tape,
and tonight we're at Disneyland

231
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,405
in time for the Main Street
Electrical Parade.

232
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:22,009
Cousin, now we are so happy,
we do the Dance of Joy!

233
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,878
* Dai-dai dai-dai da-dai
da-da-da-dai

234
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,279
* Hey hey hey hey

235
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,015
MAN: Freeze!

236
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,920
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

237
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,359
Come on, Balki!
Coming, cousin.

238
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,331
I'm so sorry.

239
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,038
Will you come on?
Well, I was, he was...

240
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,777
Sorry, boys, It's out of order.

241
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,150
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

242
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,498
Mr. Madison will be
with you in a moment.

243
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,967
Oh, that's okay.

244
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,469
Oh, now, I'm sure
Mr. Madison is quite a busy man.

245
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,338
After all, we can't be the only
people he's trying to kill.

246
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,474
(LAUGHS)

247
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,342
I'm so scared!

248
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,183
There must be some kind of way
out of here.

249
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,824
Cousin, cousin, cousin,
if we can get out here

250
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,326
we can jump out the window.

251
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,297
Balki, we're 25 feet
off the ground.

252
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,765
No, cousin, we can jump
onto that truck. See?

253
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,303
Right there. The one that says
"Rosebud Trucking Company."

254
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,504
"Rosebud?"

255
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:03,643
Balki, just before the federal
drug agent died,
he said, "Rosebud."

256
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,713
He must have been talking
about Rosebud Trucking Company.

257
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:11,885
And that must mean
Marco is using

258
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,153
MARCO:
Very good.

259
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,889
You put everything together.

260
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,391
Now as soon as you
give me your videotape

261
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,593
you two will be
pushing up daisies.

262
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,295
I love daisies.

263
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,165
Especially the little white ones
or the little pink ones.

264
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,500
For some reason I'm not
that fond of the yellow ones.

265
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:31,138
I mean you'll be
sleeping with the fishes!

266
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,407
I love fishes,
but I've never slept with one.

267
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:38,445
Balki, he means
he's going to kill us.

268
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:42,315
And I'm supposed to figure this
out from fish and daisies?

269
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:46,119
You see, you two can link me
to the drug shipments.

270
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,588
And you saw the murder.

271
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:51,524
Well, I gotta kill ya.

272
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,759
Nothin' personal.

273
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,561
(CRACKS)

274
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,231
You know, we're, we're
very good at keeping secrets.

275
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,333
I heard a good one
in the sixth grade

276
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,202
about Mr. Potter,
the shop teacher.

277
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,137
To this day
I haven't told anyone.

278
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,373
Cousin, is that
the same Mr. Potter

279
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:09,442
that was also Mrs. Olsen,
the substitute home EC teacher?

280
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,150
What's going on here?

281
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,153
Darla!

282
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:23,890
Cousin, this,
this is one special woman

283
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,994
taking time off from her
honeymoon to come and save us.

284
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,029
But no, Darla,
this is a dangerous place.

285
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,497
Save yourself.

286
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,965
Are you finished?

287
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,001
Yes, but I was wondering
why I never got

288
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,336
that autographed picture
that I sent for?

289
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,971
Although you have been busy
with the, uh,

290
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,406
the wedding and all.

291
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,242
Kill him first.

292
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,511
No, Darla, you don't
want to kill us

293
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,613
It's your housekeepers
illegitimate son-in-law

294
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,116
who's been putting the poison
in your diet shake.

295
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,253
Balki, you don't get it.

296
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,921
She and her crooked
commissioner husband

297
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,556
are obviously in on this.

298
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,558
It's the last piece
of the puzzle.

299
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,161
Get the tape and then,
get rid of them.

300
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,668
Give me the tape.
Why should I?

301
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:11,971
Because if you don't,
I'll fix it so your knees
bend both ways.

302
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,141
Okay, happy viewing.

303
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,419
MAN: What's this?

304
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,027
That displeases me.
Well, it gets better.

305
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,430
You see, in just a little bit
the Road Runner gets away

306
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,866
and the Coyote
bashes into a brick wall.

307
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,368
Oh, look, look!

308
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,272
Balki, what did you
do with the tape?

309
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,739
Well, that's for you to know

310
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,441
and me to find out, bucko!

311
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,243
I may be a simple Mypiot boy

312
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,645
but I'm smart enough
to have switched the tapes.

313
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,215
Get the needle nose pliers
and some barbed wire!

314
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:57,650
Oh! Are we going
to make a goat pen?

315
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,052
No.

316
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,720
He's gonna hurt us.

317
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:04,057
Oh, ha, I was really hoping we
were going to make a goat pen.

318
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,892
(LAUGHS)

319
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,360
I'm so scared.

320
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,096
Just leave him to me.
I'll make him talk.

321
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,931
Argh!

322
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,300
Tell me where you put the tape!

323
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,102
Ow!

324
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:18,971
We'll take you to the tape
if you promise not to kill us.

325
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,541
Okay. That sounds fair to me.

326
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,313
But if you mess around with me

327
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,549
I'm gonna rip your heart out
right through your ear!

328
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,791
Balki, as soon as we give him
the tape, they're gonna kill us.

329
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:41,027
Well, cousin, Don't worry.
I have a plan.

330
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,830
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

331
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,353
What's the plan?

332
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:10,790
Cousin, remember I told you

333
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:11,924
Got it.

334
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,226
Move it.

335
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,740
Oh, hey, back up, man.
I just got my dis...

336
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:28,808
Get the tape.

337
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,345
Anyone for a musical?

338
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,247
Get it!
It's Doris Day.

339
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,751
Just... Just one moment.

340
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,387
Cousin, here we go

341
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,822
compliments of Ferdinand,
the Obese.

342
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,693
BOTH: What's that?

343
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,231
Get them!

344
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,765
Not them! Get them!

345
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,602
Excuse me. Excuse me.

346
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,238
Hey, hey, what are you doing?

347
00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,639
What are you doing?

348
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,309
Ooh, watch it! Watch it, Balki!

349
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,544
Ooh! Ooh! Sorry! Sorry!

350
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,547
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

351
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,639
Will you come on?

352
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,345
Oh!

353
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,548
Oh! Get down!

354
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,332
Seen 'em?

355
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,400
No, but I know
they came in here!

356
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,034
I saw 'em come in!

357
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,303
Keep lookin' around.

358
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,106
There they are, right there!

359
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,541
Oh!

360
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:15,615
Oh!

361
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,221
There, there! Go on!

362
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,940
Alright, give me the tape.

363
00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:46,679
So long, Balki. It's been fun.

364
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,649
(SIRENS BLARING)

365
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,017
Boss...

366
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,285
OFFICER:
Hold it right there!

367
00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:01,694
Don't move!

368
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,129
Larry, Larry!
Balki!

369
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,397
Are you okay?

370
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,440
We were really lucky.

371
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,975
they found out
the police already had Marco
under surveillance.

372
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:18,745
So all they had to do
was close in and arrest him.

373
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,913
We were minutes away
from certain death.

374
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:23,182
But the exciting part
is after that

375
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:24,817
we bought maps
to the stars homes

376
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:28,788
and I got to shake hands
with Pat Sajak's gardener!

377
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:30,923
Well, what excites me
is that the story went national

378
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,459
and we beat every paper
in the country

379
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,394
including the Washington Post.

380
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,429
Nice work, boys.
Thank you, sir.

381
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:43,470
You know, Appleton, when I made
you an investigative reporter

382
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,938
everyone on the paper
said I was an idiot.

383
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,407
But you proved them wrong.

384
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:53,980
Well, thank you, sir.

385
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,915
Boy, cousin,
that was one scary weekend.

386
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:57,384
I hope we never
have to go through

387
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,885
anything like that again.

388
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,721
Well, you know, Balki,
as an investigative reporter

389
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:04,256
I'm gonna have to get used
to living on the edge.

390
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,658
(LARRY CHUCKLES)

391
00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:08,861
I have to confess I,
I kind of enjoyed

392
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:12,131
mixing it up with men
who were trying to kill us.

393
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:14,033
They thought they had us
on the run.

394
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,702
Huh, they were lucky

395
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:18,671
those police closed in
when they did.

396
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:26,646
Yeah, they're gonna
have to learn

397
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:28,948
they're gonna do hard time.

398
00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:30,983
Hit the deck!

399
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,221
You can come out now, cousin.

400
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:37,056
The book wasn't loaded.