1
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:13,314
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect

2
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,150
* Nothing to rearrange

3
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:19,087
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling

4
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:22,090
* Like you need
some kind of change

5
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:27,095
* No matter what the odds are
this time

6
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,263
* Nothing's gonna stand
in my way

7
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:32,566
* This flame in my heart
and a long-lost friend

8
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:36,604
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end

9
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:41,041
* Standing tall

10
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:44,845
* On the wings of my dream

11
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,881
* Rise and fall

12
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:51,252
* On the wings of my dream

13
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,920
* The rain and thunder

14
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,422
* The wind and haze

15
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,958
* I'm bound for better days

16
00:00:58,025 --> 00:01:01,229
* It's my life and my dream

17
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:04,265
* And nothing's gonna
stop me now *

18
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,216
Balki!

19
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,923
Well, I hope you're happy.
I am.

20
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,525
Because you are about to eat

21
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,595
the driest pig pancreas souffle
known to man.

22
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,204
You could have called.

23
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:48,509
You're right.
I am wrong. I am sorry.

24
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,114
I happen to have two courtside
seats to tonight's Bulls game.

25
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:57,351
Wait a minute, cousin--

26
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,419
You're not gonna
believe what happened.

27
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:01,322
Wainwright called me

28
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,756
Since he knows
I'm a big Bulls fan

29
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,892
he's having
the tickets sent here.

30
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,627
Is life good or what?

31
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:11,932
Can I wedge in a wise word here?

32
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,968
You promised Jennifer you would
take her to the ballet tonight.

33
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,604
Oh, I took care of that.

34
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,172
I told her I had to do
something for Mr. Wainwright.

35
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,673
She understood perfectly.

36
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,141
So you lied.

37
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,614
I am doing something
for Mr. Wainwright.

38
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,882
I'm using his tickets
at his request.

39
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,151
So you lied.

40
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:32,753
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.

41
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,388
No, I didn't.
Yes, you sure did.

42
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:37,825
At worst,
I am massaging the truth a bit.

43
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:43,764
You gave it a full body
loofah scrub and a mud bath!

44
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,735
Balki, you and I are going
to the game tonight

45
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,470
and we are gonna
have a great time!

46
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,572
Oh, is that so, is that?

47
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,542
Well, let me tell you
it has been my observation

48
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:57,411
that every time you lie to
Jennifer something bad happens.

49
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,347
I saw the exact
same thing happen

50
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,250
on an old rerun of
a 1950s television show.

51
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,518
There's this big
roly-poly bus driver

52
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,587
always trying
to hide things from his wife

53
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,822
every time he does
he gets in trouble.

54
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,624
And he's got
this friend upstairs.

55
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,494
He wears a vest.
He's the smart one.

56
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,463
The friend comes down...

57
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,507
Norton!

58
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:29,277
Norton, get down here
right away! It's important!

59
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,279
What say there, Ralphie boy?

60
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,985
Sorry, it took so long.
What's up?

61
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,322
What's up?
I'll tell you what's up.

62
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,794
We--
W-w-wait, don't tell me.

63
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:47,895
Let me guess.

64
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,335
Because if it is
I'm gonna have to say no.

65
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,970
I've been havin'
very bad problems lately

66
00:03:57,037 --> 00:04:00,474
with the old tum-tum.

67
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,343
(CHUCKLES)
A pitcher or two there.

68
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,847
Are you gonna let me
tell you where we're going

69
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:11,084
or are ya gonna run off
at the mouth all night?

70
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,753
Thank you.
Just, uh...

71
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,154
I'm all ears.

72
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,090
Just let me have it, Ralph.
Just let me have it.

73
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:20,894
Right here, Ralph. Let it rip.
Let it rip there, Ralph.

74
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:24,298
Just get the thought
and let it out. Let it out.

75
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,709
Norton, you are a mental case.

76
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,814
Will you sit down?
Alright, Ralph!

77
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,923
You were saying?

78
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,561
Two guys dropped out

79
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,663
of the Pro Am
Bowling Tournament tonight

80
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,532
and you and I are gonna
take their places.

81
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,601
Hold the phone!

82
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,505
We are gonna be bowling
with professionals?

83
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,907
Guys who own their own
bowling shoes?

84
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,542
Va-va-va-voom!

85
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,944
We are a couple
of lucky stiffs!

86
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,548
Hi, Ralph.

87
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,321
Hi, Ed.

88
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:30,831
The tailor said
he wants to know

89
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,967
Hardy har har.

90
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,303
I'm sorry I'm late, Ed, I had to
stop at the butcher shop

91
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,938
to get ya lamb chops
for dinner.

92
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,273
What are ya cooking me
for dinner tonight, Alice?

93
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,876
Nothing. Did you forget?
We're going to my mother's
for dinner.

94
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,413
(LAUGHING)
Alice, hey,
you're out of luck there.

95
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,181
Uh, Ralph and I are gonna go--
No, no, Norton, Norton...

96
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:51,585
Norton, don't you have
to go upstairs and eat?

97
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,020
Nah, it'll take, uh, Trixie

98
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,455
like a half an hour
to cook dinner.

99
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,057
Well, maybe you should go
watch her.

100
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,860
Ralph, I know
when you're kiddin'.

101
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,595
I've seen Trixie cook before.

102
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,330
Hey, Trix, remember
the time you were making 'em

103
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:08,035
potato pancakes, flipping them,
up they go, down they go.

104
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:12,039
Get out of here!
Sheesh! What a grouch!

105
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,607
Come on, Ed.

106
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,076
Alright.

107
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,845
Will you get outta here?

108
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,047
Bye, Alice.

109
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:29,289
Alright, Ralph,
what's going on?

110
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,725
Well, uh...

111
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,594
Uh...

112
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,931
I didn't want
you to know that, uh...

113
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:41,334
That, uh, I was gonna work
an extra shift tonight.

114
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,638
Well, why not? You work
extra shifts all the time.

115
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:49,710
Well, uh...
Uh... I, uh...

116
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:59,620
I, uh, I didn't want
you to know that, uh...

117
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,522
That I've been,
uh, saving up to buy you

118
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,757
that, uh, new refrigerator
you wanted.

119
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,860
And, uh, the money
I was gonna make tonight, uh,

120
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,362
would have been enough
for the first down payment.

121
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,465
Oh, Ralph, that's so sweet!

122
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,269
You want me to have dinner
with your mother

123
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,939
so that's where I'll be.

124
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:21,675
Oh, no, you won't! You go ahead
and work your shift!

125
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,644
My mother will understand.

126
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,323
Hey, Ralph.
Argh!

127
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:40,293
You're good.
Argh!

128
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,229
Come on, Ralph! You're doing it.

129
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,531
You're almost there, Ralph.
Argh!

130
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,899
Come on, Ralphie.
Ralphie boy!

131
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,635
There we are there.
Argh!

132
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,104
Alright.

133
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:56,343
(SIGHS)

134
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:59,379
Same way as it always happens
when you go bowling.

135
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,048
You picked up
your bowling ball,

136
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,186
you made your way
to the line.

137
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,898
Then you realize
all eyes are on you.

138
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:20,033
So, you decided to put somethin'
a little extra on the ball there

139
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:23,036
just a little somethin'
extra on the ball there

140
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,106
give it a little extra body,
as if you needed extra body.

141
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,681
And then you let her go,
and before you knew it

142
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,083
you were flat on your keister,
just lying there

143
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,251
like a beached whale
waiting for someone

144
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,588
to pull the cup out
of your mouth there, Ralph.

145
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:41,855
Will you knock it off?

146
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:47,394
Now look,
Alice will be here any minute.

147
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,564
You gotta help me hide
the fact that I hurt my back.

148
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:54,167
Uh, wouldn't it be easier
just to tell her what happened?

149
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:57,571
"Wouldn't it be easier just
to tell her what happened?"

150
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,641
Why don't I just wear
a sign on my back

151
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,275
that says kick me hard?

152
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,846
Not a good idea
with your back out, Ralph.

153
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,718
Oh, you are nuts,
you know that, Norton?

154
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,187
Now listen,
if you help me out tonight

155
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,756
my back will be fine
in the mornin'

156
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,758
and Alice will never know
I went bowlin'.

157
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,462
Ralph, I'm glad you're here.

158
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,331
I've been thinking
about the new refrigerator.

159
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,868
Now, I'm not sure
how it's gonna look in the space

160
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,770
the icebox out of the way
and put something over there

161
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,939
that's the size of
the new refrigerator?

162
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,282
Now?
Yeah, Ralph, now.

163
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,253
You know, uh, Alice,
that is a terrific idea.

164
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,289
Really sensational.

165
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,893
What do they call, uh, uh,
inferior decorators.

166
00:09:56,363 --> 00:10:01,001
Alice, it's late.
We'll move the icebox
some other time.

167
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,904
Is there some reason you
don't want to move the icebox?

168
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,106
No, no reason.

169
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,110
You want it moved,
we'll move it.

170
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:14,982
(GRUNTS)

171
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,691
Norton, how about giving me
a hand with this?

172
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,959
Sure, Ralphie.
Ow!

173
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,829
(GRUNTING)

174
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,700
Argh! Argh!

175
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:36,236
(GRUNTING)

176
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:44,144
Alright, Norton,
help me pick this thing up.

177
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,816
Okay. On three.
Ready, Ralph?

178
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:52,319
One... Two...
What'd ya got in here?

179
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,121
Will you get outta there?

180
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,456
Three!

181
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,590
(BONES CRACKING)

182
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,027
Ow!

183
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,462
Argh!

184
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,065
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Argh!

185
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,200
(BANGING)

186
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,902
Ooh!

187
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,607
(GRUNTING)

188
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,810
(BANGING)

189
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:20,380
Argh! Oh!

190
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,885
Oh!

191
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:35,028
Is there something wrong
with your back, Ralph?

192
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,034
No. Why would there be
something wrong with my back?

193
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,335
Because you and me
was bowling--

194
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,571
Will you knock it off?

195
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,740
Listen, Alice, I can explain.

196
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,675
Save your breath, Ralph.

197
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,878
I know everything.

198
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,749
stops in front of
the bowling alley.

199
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,350
how Kramden threw his back out

200
00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,053
and almost rolled down
the alley with the ball.

201
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,225
I'll be up at Trixie's
till I calm down.

202
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,166
Hey, hey, hey.

203
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,502
I hate to, uh, rub salt
in your wound there, Ralph.

204
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,904
Ow!

205
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,774
But you should have known
that Alice's bus

206
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,209
was gonna go by
the bowling alley there.

207
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,011
I mean,
you are a bus driver, right?

208
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,179
I mean, you gotta
use the ol' noodle.

209
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,215
You are drivin' that bus there
right down 42nd Street

210
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:31,318
right to Broadway, the guy
that sells the newspaper there--

211
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,020
Will you knock it off?

212
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,324
Hey, uh, your back looks
pretty bad there, Ralph.

213
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,191
It is bad.

214
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,928
Looks like you can hardly move.

215
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,495
I can't move at all.
Not at all?

216
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:47,300
I just told you,
I can't move at all!

217
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,002
Alright then.

218
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:56,910
Norton, what're you...
Norton, put that back!

219
00:12:56,977 --> 00:13:01,882
Norton! Ah! Norton!
I'm gonna murdelize you.

220
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,254
Next day, Ralph's back was
so bad, he have to stay home

221
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,890
the whole day
and listen to Alice yell at him.

222
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,491
You see what I'm driving at?

223
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,428
It has nothing
to do with real life.

224
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,130
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

225
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,399
There is no way in the world

226
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:23,103
that Jennifer is gonna find out
about that basketball game.

227
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,807
Oh, hi, Jen.
Hi, Larry.

228
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,877
to our apartment
instead of yours.

229
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,513
Save your breath,
I know everything.

230
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:37,150
Larry, you've lied to me for
the last time. Enjoy the game.

231
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:46,126
Oh, what a tangled web we weave

232
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,395
when first
we practice to conceive.

233
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,032
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

234
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,520
Cousin, you're crying.

235
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,592
Balki, I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

236
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,828
It's been a week,
Jennifer still won't talk to me.

237
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,263
I've tried everything.

238
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:26,299
I've sent her flowers,
candy, perfume.

239
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,235
She just sends everything back.

240
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,871
I'm beginning to think
it's all over between us.

241
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:36,276
Oh, cousin, you're making
a mountain out of mohair.

242
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,311
Come on,
Jennifer still loves you.

243
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,547
She'll forgive you if you just
tell her you're sorry

244
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,216
you were lying
and you'll never do it again.

245
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,985
She'll never buy that.

246
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:51,491
But, you know,
if I do something heroic

247
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,094
to show how much I love her,
she'll have to forgive me.

248
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,163
Cousin, that never works!

249
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,065
Now, Ralph had
the same problem with Alice.

250
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,299
She wasn't talking to him

251
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,434
after he lied about
the bowling incident

252
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,370
so instead of telling her
the truth

253
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,372
he got his friend, Norton,
that's the smart one

254
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,441
to come down and help him
to, to appear to be a hero

255
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,110
so that
she would like him again.

256
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,085
Hello, Alice.

257
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,189
You havin' a good day, Alice?

258
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,357
You feelin' okay?

259
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,094
Trixie, please tell Ralph if he
really cared anything about me

260
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,997
he wouldn't have lied.

261
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,731
Alice says if you cared
anything about her

262
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,700
you wouldn't have lied.

263
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,203
Come on, Alice.
Give me a break.

264
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,239
It's been a week.

265
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,708
Trixie, tell Ralph
as far as I'm concerned

266
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,211
the suffering has barely begun.

267
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,483
Alice says--
I heard what Alice says.

268
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,187
You think I was the only guy
in the world

269
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,689
who ever lied to his wife?

270
00:15:56,756 --> 00:16:01,461
Norton, you must have lied
to Trixie once or twice.

271
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:04,131
Well, uh, tell you
the truth there, Ralph, uh,

272
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:07,234
in 13 years of marital bliss,

273
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,403
I, uh... I never yet once
lied to Trixie.

274
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,172
Ed said he once thought
about lying to me

275
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:16,743
but he felt so guilty
he bought me

276
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,347
Yeah, and I, uh, I wrote her
a little poem to go with it.

277
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:29,689
Roses are red,
violets are bluer,

278
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:35,095
can you ever forgive
your guy from the sewer?

279
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,467
How do you like that?

280
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,369
He's a poet, and he don't
even know that he is.

281
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,175
Alright. Alright.

282
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:54,914
What do you want me to do?
Say I'm sorry?

283
00:16:54,981 --> 00:17:01,688
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. Now, shut up!

284
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:13,032
You know, Ralph, the only thing
bigger than your mouth is your--

285
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,368
Don't say it, Alice!

286
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,673
Come on, Trixie,
let's go to a movie.

287
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,643
Okay. Bye, Ed.

288
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:30,083
I hope you choke
on your raisinets.

289
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,621
How do you like that?

290
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,559
Norton, this is killin' me.

291
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,429
I don't mind
the silent treatment

292
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,697
but Alice won't cook for me.

293
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,901
I have to get her
to forgive me.

294
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:53,306
I can't take another night of
eating beans out of the can!

295
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,642
I don't know, Ralph.
She seemed pretty steamed.

296
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,446
Hey, you, uh, you got a fork?

297
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,717
If I do something
to prove to Alice

298
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,554
how much I love her,
she'll have to forgive me.

299
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,622
Now, I got a plan,
but I'm gonna need your help.

300
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,958
I'm with you.
I'm with you 100%!

301
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:15,762
Alright, now you are gonna
have to disguise yourself

302
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:18,698
as a robber and then sneak in
here later tonight.

303
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,268
Now, it's real important

304
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,771
Don't worry, Ralph

305
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,406
and nobody knew it was me.

306
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,845
Hello, there.

307
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,417
I am a tomato.

308
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,554
You may think
I am a vegetable,

309
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,757
but I am really a fruit.

310
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,603
You're not a fruit, Norton,
you're a mental case!

311
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:02,309
Now, where was I?

312
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,876
Oh, yeah, alright.

313
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,513
Now after you break in here
and say you are a robber

314
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,682
you say that you want
Alice's wedding ring.

315
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,852
Now, I'll say that I would
rather die than give it to you.

316
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,854
You'll be so moved
by the depth of my love

317
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,557
that you'll leave
without Alice's wedding ring.

318
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,797
Ralph, I gotta tell you,
I'm touched.

319
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,635
You would rather die
than-than-than

320
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,603
let somebody have
Alice's wedding ring?

321
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,539
(SNIFFLES)

322
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:36,643
You sweet kid,
but it won't work.

323
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,546
No, you gotta wine her,
dine her, dance her.

324
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,281
(SCATTING)

325
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,616
Nah, that won't work.

326
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,719
(SNAPS FINGERS)
I got it. I'll help her dust.

327
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,924
Nah, why don't you
just buy her a fur coat?

328
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,927
Nah, that won't work.

329
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,866
Oh, I think she's got
a good point there, Ralph.

330
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,602
Ooh!

331
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,378
Alice!

332
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,713
What have you got to say
for yourself now, Ralph?

333
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:20,787
I got a big mouth!

334
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,658
Alice was so mad
at Ralph

335
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,660
that not only did
she not speak to him

336
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,830
for, for two weeks, but she make
him sleep on the fire escape.

337
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,499
(LAUGHING)

338
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,934
I love that show.

339
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,710
I should have known that someone
as wonderful as Jennifer

340
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:48,948
could never love somebody
as low and devious as me.

341
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,650
Oh, I think she could.

342
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,320
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

343
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:01,894
Larry, is this from you?

344
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:09,235
Well, uh--
Cousin, come on.

345
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,703
Who else would it be from?

346
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,472
Oh, Larry, when I saw
this little guy sitting

347
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,206
on my fire escape
with two tickets

348
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:18,578
to the ballet in his paws,
I knew I'd been too hard on you.

349
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:23,383
W-w-wait, Jennifer,
I didn't leave

350
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,752
that bear on the fire escape.

351
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,488
The person who did
is much nicer than I am

352
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:32,725
and I think I have a pretty good
idea who that person is.

353
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:40,433
Balki, was it you?

354
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:43,370
Well, I was just trying to help.

355
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:48,341
Oh!
Oh, oh!

356
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,643
Well, what was that for?

357
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:52,945
Well, Larry, you could have lied
and said the bear was from you

358
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:55,548
but you didn't.
You told the truth!

359
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,084
I did, didn't I?

360
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:02,555
I think we've had
a breakthrough here!

361
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:04,891
Well, this is cause
for celebration.

362
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:06,593
What do you say
we all go out to dinner tonight

363
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,094
at Antoine's Cajun Kitchen?

364
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,562
Oh, it's a wonderful idea.

365
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:11,464
Balki, you wanna call
and make us reservations

366
00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:12,599
for four at 8:00?

367
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,066
Four at 8:00,
you got it!

368
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:26,779
(SCATTING)

369
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,383
(STERNLY)
Will you just make the call?

370
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:36,556
Baby, you're the greatest.

371
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:40,827
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

372
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:47,434
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)