1
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,481
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect

2
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,387
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling

3
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:23,757
* Like you need
some kind of change

4
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:27,428
* No matter what the odds
are this time

5
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,697
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way

6
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:33,201
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend

7
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:38,239
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end

8
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,242
* Standing tall

9
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:44,978
* On the wings of my dream

10
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,015
* Rise and fall

11
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:51,852
* On the wings of my dream

12
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,354
* The rain and thunder

13
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,055
* The wind and haze

14
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,559
* I'm bound for better days

15
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,762
* It's my life and my dream

16
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:04,832
* And nothing's going
to stop me now *

17
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,310
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

18
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,851
I, I hear them. I hear them.

19
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,721
Okay, okay, uh...

20
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,590
Open the door.

21
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,861
Surprise!

22
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,796
Okay, now, hold it right there.

23
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:39,167
I want to preserve
this moment for posteriors.

24
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:42,303
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

25
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:45,439
Okay, Cousin Larry,
give me energy!

26
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,576
Yeah, and Jennifer,
lick your lips.

27
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,478
Okay. Beautiful.

28
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,280
Now, give me something
completely different.

29
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,482
Come on, somethin' wacky.

30
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,951
Balki, uh, uh...

31
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,621
(STAMMERING)
Balki, what is,
what is this all about?

32
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:04,158
And why is there
produce on the wall?

33
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,761
What is this all about?

34
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,497
(LAUGHS)

35
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:14,402
Does the word
"Six phases of the moon"

36
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,869
mean anything to you?

37
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,671
(LAUGHS)

38
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,608
Or do you wanna just
keep getting out there

39
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,377
and sowin' your mild goats?

40
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,248
(LAUGHS)

41
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,320
What are you
talking about?

42
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:33,554
I'll give you a hint.

43
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,356
It's been six phases
of the moon

44
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,191
since you and Jennifer
got engaged

45
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,393
so according to
Myposian custom

46
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,595
tonight's the night
you set the wedding date.

47
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,031
Whoo-hoo!

48
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,200
Well, well, well,
Jennifer and I

49
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,936
weren't planning on
setting a date just yet.

50
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,640
But, but, cousin, you're,
you're 1/64th Myposian.

51
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,408
I, I just assumed
you were going

52
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,610
to be following
Myposian custom.

53
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:01,449
Uh, Larry and I decided
to follow American custom.

54
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,584
Oh.

55
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,453
Well, so, so I guess
you won't be walking

56
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,688
down the aisle
on your hands?

57
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,059
Well, I don't think
it's an American custom

58
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,095
to get engaged
and never set
a wedding date.

59
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,298
Well, nobody said anything

60
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,400
about never
setting a wedding date.

61
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:21,435
So, go ahead.

62
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,306
Go ahead what?
Go ahead and set a date.

63
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,577
Well, uh...

64
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:33,847
Well, uh...
(STUTTERS) All right.

65
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,450
Uh, I mean, yeah,
let's, let's go ahead

66
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:40,321
and, and, and, and, uh,
and, uh...

67
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:43,156
Let's, let's do it!

68
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:47,027
Uh, unless there's
some reason

69
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,730
Why wouldn't
I want to?

70
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,466
Uh, uh, shall we begin
with the month?

71
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,901
Uh, no problem.

72
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:57,104
Uh, well, uh, July...

73
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,306
Okay, July.

74
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,975
J... U...

75
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:05,012
L...

76
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:09,249
July, August, September
and October are out

77
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,918
uh, because, uh...

78
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,855
My allergies
act up. I...

79
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,990
I don't want to be sneezing
through the ceremony.

80
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,326
Oh.

81
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,661
Okay, fine, cousin,
just fine.

82
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,435
Uh, uh, November through
January are no good for me.

83
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,437
I have a very, uh,
tight flight schedule

84
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,105
and we wouldn't have
time for honeymoon.

85
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:36,544
And the weather's no good in,
uh, February or March.

86
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,245
My birthday's in April.

87
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:39,813
Mine's in May.

88
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,315
June.

89
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,951
June?

90
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,086
Well, uh...

91
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,889
Uh, June is good for me.

92
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,123
You like June?

93
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:53,160
I love June.
June would be great.

94
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,529
Is it warm in here? I...

95
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,030
Okay, here we go.

96
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,266
J... U...

97
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,436
I never should have erased
the J and the U from July.

98
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,807
N... E!

99
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:10,344
Okay, now! You each have
to have a piece
of cake.

100
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,245
Jennifer, you go first

101
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,615
because the bride
is first.

102
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,852
(HUMMING THE WEDDING MARCH)

103
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,223
I can't eat anything.

104
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:26,126
(STUTTERS) I'm not,
I'm not feeling well.

105
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,061
I really think
I have to go now.

106
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,098
You know, every time somebody

107
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,900
starts talking
about the wedding you get sick.

108
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,435
I think I know
what your problem is.

109
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,404
You're not getting
enough protein.

110
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,507
(LAUGHS)

111
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,443
Well, huh, well...

112
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:45,345
Huh, huh, nervous bride.

113
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,451
Ever seen somebody
so nervous about a wedding?

114
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,321
Yeah.

115
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,456
You.

116
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,791
Oh! I'm not nervous.

117
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,793
(LAUGHS)

118
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,432
Yeah, you're right, cousin.
You're not nervous.

119
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,500
Uh, you're more scared
than nervous.

120
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,502
What, scared?

121
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:13,140
Don't be crazy!

122
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,977
I know you like
I know my way
to the bathroom.

123
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,815
I know you when
you're scared.

124
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,018
And you have
all these classical symptoms.

125
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,487
The compulsive eating...

126
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,155
Was I eating?

127
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,624
The nervous leg twitch...

128
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,860
Was my leg twitching?

129
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:46,239
And everything you say
is in the form
of a question.

130
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,642
It is?

131
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,244
Yes.
Are you sure?

132
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,046
Yes.
Is that bad?

133
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,347
Yes.

134
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,216
Is there ice cream
to go with this cake?

135
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,251
Oh, God.

136
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:01,855
Balki, Balki,
I don't have
to be scared.

137
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,525
I mean,
I love Jennifer.

138
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,026
Jennifer loves me!

139
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,261
We're gonna live
happily ever after.

140
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,464
(PANTING)

141
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,167
Don't you think?

142
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,237
Well, of course I...
Well, of course you don't.

143
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:21,642
Neither do I.

144
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:24,044
charming man
and after we're married

145
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,814
she's gonna realize
she is married to me.

146
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,451
She's gonna be miserable.

147
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,990
Don't you think?

148
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,992
(PANTING)

149
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,845
Oh, cousin, I...

150
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,917
Balki...

151
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,787
I'm just afraid
of losing her.

152
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,355
I'm afraid that
after we're married

153
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:11,324
she'll leave me
and I'll lose
her anyway.

154
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,193
What am I gonna do?

155
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,564
The two of you could take
the Nupitiki-S-A-tiki.

156
00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:21,101
The Nupitiki-S-A-tiki?

157
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,269
Yeah.

158
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,504
The Myposian
marriage test.

159
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,740
Oh, Balki. Balki, I...
Now, cousin,
no, no, no.

160
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,042
Now, listen,
this test can determine

161
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,211
whether or not a marriage
should take place

162
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,681
beyond a shadow of a snout.

163
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,652
Balki, no stupid
Myposian test

164
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,388
is, uh, gonna guarantee
a, a happy marriage.

165
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:42,923
Now, cousin,
cousin, look.

166
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,425
Cousin, I am offering you
the opportunity

167
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:48,028
to, to make sure
that you have a happy marriage.

168
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,864
Now, you cannot keep
indefinitely postponing this.

169
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:54,668
Sooner or later you're going
to have to mate or cut bait.

170
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,906
Now why you don't get
on the phone and call Jennifer

171
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,174
and find out how she feels
about taking the test.

172
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,779
All right. All right.
I'll, I'll call her.

173
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,848
But just to prove that,
that she thinks

174
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,784
this is as stupid
as I do.

175
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,786
Yeah, yeah, hello?
Uh, Jennifer?

176
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,755
Oh, listen,
I, I know this sounds silly

177
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,825
but Balki says that he has
a test that can prove

178
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,627
whether or not
our marriage will work.

179
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,328
Now I know.
I told him that no...

180
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,964
Hello? Hello?
She hung up.

181
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,900
Now, she's angry at me

182
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,136
just because
I even mentioned the test.

183
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:34,041
Balki, I want to take
that test right now.

184
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,683
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

185
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,791
All right, just a few more
questions and we'll be finished.

186
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,225
Jennifer, I believe
it's your turn.

187
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,828
Um, Jennifer

188
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,063
would you be angry

189
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,098
if Cousin Larry
was working late

190
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,333
and he didn't call you
and therefore

191
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,303
the pig snout that you prepared
for dinner was ruined?

192
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:08,075
Well, that's a difficult
question, Balki.

193
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,044
I know how involved
Larry can get with his work

194
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,346
so, I guess I would understand
if he forgot to call me

195
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,883
once or twice
but if it happened
all the time

196
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,085
I suppose I would get angry?

197
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,356
Well, good answer!
Good answer!

198
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,831
Isn't that
a good answer, Balki?

199
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,565
Cousin, as I've explained before

200
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,367
there are no good
or bad answers.

201
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,137
I am developing
a picture of the couple

202
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:40,573
based on their responses
and scoring those responses

203
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,843
on a scale designed
to reflect

204
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,778
their overall compatibility.

205
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:48,115
This test, um,
this test has been

206
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,883
developed over
a number of years.

207
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,385
It is not a game and I think
we should remember that.

208
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,590
Okay. Uh, cousin,
I believe you're next.

209
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,727
Uh, pick up the apples, please.

210
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,864
And juggle.

211
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,870
(STAMMERING)
Wait a minute.
I don't understand.

212
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:13,373
For the last hour, uh,
Jennifer has been answering

213
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,142
reasonably intelligent questions

214
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,145
and I've been playing
"Double Dare."

215
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:25,652
Are you, uh,

216
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:29,289
No! No, no! No, no, no!

217
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,225
It's, uh, uh, juggle?
Yeah, no, no, it's fine.

218
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,161
Uh, no problem.

219
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,963
(CLEARS THROAT)

220
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,337
Stand on one foot.

221
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:54,815
Close your eyes.

222
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:58,051
All right, now no one
can juggle with their
eyes closed.

223
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:01,154
I'm sorry, I believe I simply
said, "Close your eyes."

224
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,291
I don't believe
I said anything about juggling.

225
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,062
about standing on, uh,
one foot wrong too?

226
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,100
Sit down, please.
Put the apples away.

227
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,537
Cousin, as I explained before
there is no right and wrong.

228
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,372
Were you not listening?

229
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,209
Larry was listening.

230
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:27,047
He-he's a very good listener.

231
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,951
Fine, the test is finished.

232
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:34,822
Oh, God.
I hope we passed.

233
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:37,057
Honey, your answers
were, were wonderful.

234
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:40,360
And, and I did
125 push-ups.

235
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,967
Sixty.
Well, so what
did we score?

236
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,402
Eighty, ninety?
Three. Your score is three.

237
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,806
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

238
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,847
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

239
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:08,788
I skipped rope with a book
on my head and we got a three?

240
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:17,730
It's my fault.

241
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,167
Jennifer, uh,
Cousin Larry,

242
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:24,004
I, uh, I really
feel like babasticki.

243
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:26,139
I never would have asked
you to take the test

244
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,475
if I thought
you would do so badly.

245
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:34,681
I sucked a lemon

246
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:37,250
And we get a three?

247
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:43,290
(STUTTERS)
Well, so what?

248
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,227
I mean, even if the test
means something

249
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,929
and I'm not saying
that it does,

250
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,664
uh, Balki probably didn't even
give the test right.

251
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:54,301
I beg to back issue
with you.

252
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,170
I know how to
administer this test.

253
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:01,008
I happen to be a licensed
Nupitiki Doctor Ruthiki.

254
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,080
A Nupitiki Doctor Ruthiki?

255
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:11,051
That's a Myposian
marriage counselor.

256
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:12,886
You're a Myposian
marriage counselor?

257
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,222
That is correct.
What do you do?

258
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,325
Start with shaky sheep marriages
and work your way up to people?

259
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,230
Sheep don't have problem
with their marriages.

260
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,499
Pigs, on the other hand, often
have problems with commitment.

261
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:31,471
That's why they call them pigs.

262
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,573
Balki, uh, I have to agree
with Larry.

263
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,209
I mean, just because the test
has never been wrong before

264
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,011
doesn't mean
it can't be wrong now.

265
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,714
And just because you've
given the test before

266
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,217
Well, that's the kind of talk
I, I like to hear.

267
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,954
I mean, so we'll
still get married.

268
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,488
We'll take the test again.

269
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,623
We'll take a year,
two years tops.

270
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,625
We'll study,
we'll pass the test

271
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,295
and we'll get married
two years from June.

272
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,397
Right, Jennifer?

273
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,732
Right, right!

274
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,134
Oh! Oh, uh, Larry.

275
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:06,239
Uh, I just remembered.

276
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,640
my father was going to retire.

277
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,242
See, he and my mother
are gonna buy a Winnebago

278
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:14,381
and travel across the country.

279
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,616
Well, oh, well,
we'll just start planning

280
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:17,750
when they get back.

281
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:18,918
Uh, two years,

282
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,620
uh-uh,
uh, until his retirement

283
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,555
and say, uh, two years
in a Winnebago

284
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,025
a year of planning,
well, we're looking at,

285
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,227
uh, June, five years
from now.

286
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,896
Uh, does that work
for you, Jennifer?

287
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,531
Five years.
I can wait five years.

288
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,266
I mean, after all,
what's five years

289
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,502
when your marriage
is doomed anyway?

290
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,139
Oh, it's, it's gonna
be all right.

291
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,642
I think I can help.

292
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:46,879
How?

293
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,982
Well, it's a longshot

294
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,784
but I think your only
hope of happiness

295
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,453
is for both of you
to take

296
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,189
the Nupitiki
Spic 'n Spanakopita.

297
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,527
The Nupitiki
Spic 'n Spanakopita?

298
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:03,563
The Myposian
marriage cleansing ritual.

299
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,301
Now it will either
make you compatible

300
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,304
or remove the waxy buildup
from your linoleum.

301
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:17,044
But either way it's gonna make
a big difference in your lives.

302
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:20,180
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

303
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,919
Jennifer, are you sure
you want to go through

304
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,988
with this purification ritual?

305
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:33,593
We've got to, Larry.

306
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,995
Balki, that's a very
interesting medallion.

307
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,165
I may be wrong but it...

308
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,400
Looks like it's in the shape
of a lamb chop.

309
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,603
Well, that's very observant
of you, Jennifer.

310
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,239
Actually, it's the shape
of the island of Mypos.

311
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:50,210
Um, my little village,
Podunki, is right here

312
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,712
in the gristle area and...

313
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,982
Over here in the tenderloin

314
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,017
is Six Flags over Mypos.

315
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:04,591
Well, the stone
is very beautiful.

316
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,194
that is preventing you
from having a happy marriage

317
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,962
and if purification
takes place

318
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,031
and I'm not making
any promises

319
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,101
the color will become lighter

320
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,035
and lighter until it is just

321
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:19,439
as clear and pure
as your love for
each other.

322
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,644
Okay, that's it.

323
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,513
I am not letting
my future be determined

324
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,649
by some madman
wearing a mood lamb chop.

325
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,422
Larry, I think
we should try the ritual.

326
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:38,458
All right.

327
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,128
Then let the purification begin.

328
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:59,379
(HUMMING)

329
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:20,167
Uh-oh. Still blue.
It didn't work.

330
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,470
I did my best to purify you

331
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,738
but, uh, I'm afraid
your marriage is doomed.

332
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,039
Out of the pool, please.

333
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,642
Out of the pool, please, please.

334
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,179
I'm not even sure you two
should even be friends.

335
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,448
Our marriage is still doomed?

336
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,785
Larry, why did you even
let us try this stupid ritual?

337
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:42,322
Well, you're the one
who forced us into this.

338
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,191
Well, you're the one
who couldn't set a date

339
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,358
because you're so,
you're so...

340
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,460
Afraid.
Afraid.

341
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,061
Cousin, she just said
you were afraid.

342
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,597
How does that make you feel?

343
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,599
Afraid.

344
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,839
You'll realize that
I'm not the charming

345
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:02,475
sophisticated man
you thought I was.

346
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,679
And Jennifer?

347
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,216
Well, I'm afraid that once
we're married you'll

348
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:12,852
Find out
I'm not perfect.

349
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,426
I mean look at you. Uh...

350
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,429
You've never looked
so awful and...

351
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:27,166
And I've never loved
you so much.

352
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,839
Oh, Larry.

353
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,807
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

354
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,877
I love you too.
Well, what about
the test?

355
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,912
Well, I don't care
if the test said

356
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,215
we don't belong together.

357
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,284
I don't care
if a million tests

358
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,953
say we don't
belong together.

359
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,255
I want to marry you, Jennifer.

360
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,156
Larry, I want to marry you.

361
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,791
Well, then let's get married.

362
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,726
Okay, uh, when?

363
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:54,894
Tonight.

364
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,663
Tonight's no good.

365
00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:01,501
Oh, God.

366
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,537
How about, uh... September?

367
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,774
All right, September.

368
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:12,312
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

369
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,550
There, we're getting
married this year

370
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,619
and-and nothing's
gonna stop us.

371
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,822
So, what do you say to that,
Mr. Myposian marriage counselor?

372
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,325
You just passed
the Myposian marriage test

373
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,859
with flying colors.

374
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,030
What?

375
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:33,266
(LAUGHS)
Cousin...

376
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,136
Everybody fails
the first part.

377
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:42,074
We make sure of that.

378
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,744
and then, and then if the people
still want to be married

379
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,045
to each other then we know that

380
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,614
they have
a really deep commitment

381
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,016
and that they will live
happily ever after.

382
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,390
Well, you mean we would have
failed no matter what we did?

383
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:01,594
We took mud in the face
for nothing?

384
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,363
No, no, cousin,
it wasn't for nothing.

385
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,064
It was to prove
to you that you two

386
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,933
have nothing to be afraid of.

387
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:13,005
Well, Balki, thank you
for helping us see that.

388
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:17,344
Yeah. Thanks, buddy.

389
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:20,713
Oh, you know, I guess
I did kind of

390
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:24,016
do a pretty good job
if I must say so myself.

391
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,921
Well, so, this is what couples
have to go through on Mypos?

392
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:31,858
Well, uh, to, to, to
some extent. Yeah.

393
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,231
What do you mean,
"To some extent?"

394
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:43,069
Well, we usually make do
with a written test

395
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,604
and some verbal abuse

396
00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:48,074
and a carefully
monitored psychodrama.

397
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,611
But, uh, since no one
on Mypos

398
00:21:51,678 --> 00:22:00,219
is quite as neurotic as you two

399
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:13,466
Special touches?

400
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,668
You know, Balki...

401
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,638
Words cannot express

402
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:21,541
what we feel right now.

403
00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:22,675
Isn't that right, Jennifer?

404
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:23,943
Oh, no, they can't.

405
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:27,714
Oh, come on, you guys,
I love you!

406
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:31,418
Uh, you don't owe
me anything.
Oh, well...

407
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:33,986
Oh, yes, we do.

408
00:22:41,093 --> 00:22:43,430
Oh, you two!

409
00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:45,665
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)