1
00:00:00,801 --> 00:00:03,369
[theme song]

2
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,781
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,383
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

4
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:20,453
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
00:00:20,486 --> 00:00:23,156
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

6
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:28,361
♪ No matter what
the odds are this time ♪

7
00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:30,731
♪ Nothing’s gonna stand
in my way ♪

8
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,200
♪ This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend ♪

9
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:37,671
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

10
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:42,108
♪ Standing tall ♪

11
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:45,746
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

12
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,849
♪ Rise and fall ♪

13
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:52,719
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

14
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,622
♪ The rain and thunder
the wind and haze ♪

15
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:59,325
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ Ah ♪

16
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:02,596
♪ ’Cause my life and my dream ♪

17
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,498
♪ And nothing’s gonna
stop me now ♪

18
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,653
Cousin, cousin, cousin!

19
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,856
I just ran into Big Carmine
on the loading dock.

20
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,625
You know, the guy
that can open a beer bottle

21
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,259
with his belly button?

22
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:36,897
Well, he told me that
it’s my duty as your best man

23
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,499
to throw you a bachelor party.

24
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,868
I had no idea!

25
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,638
‐Would you like that?
‐I’d love a bachelor party.

26
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:45,906
Is there gonna be any, uh

27
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,341
bachelor‐type entertainment,
huh?

28
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:49,676
[chuckles]
Huh?

29
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,311
Oh.

30
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:52,646
Huh?

31
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,848
‐Aah!
‐Aah!

32
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,550
Stop, stop it.

33
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,486
What are we talking about?

34
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,290
I’m talking
about the entertainment

35
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:05,759
you have planned
for the bachelor party.

36
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,394
Oh, oh, oh, that.

37
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,464
Well, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

38
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:13,867
I thought we’d bob for onions.

39
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,538
And then, uh, play a few rounds

40
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,473
of pin the mustache
on Miss Mypos.

41
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,509
Eh? Eh?

42
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,411
And then I thought
we’d get down to the main event

43
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:27,714
of the bachelor party.

44
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,216
Team quilt making,
that’s right.

45
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,452
That’s right.

46
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,855
‐Hi, guys!
‐’Mary Anne, Jennifer!’

47
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,824
What a surprise!
What are you doing here?

48
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,292
Oh, uh, we came to pick up Larry

49
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,694
to get measured
for his wedding ring.

50
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,564
I’m going along, too,
even though I’m not engaged

51
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,298
because it would be
a good experience

52
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,968
in case I ever become engaged

53
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,937
which is possible
because I’m still single

54
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,507
and therefore eligible
to become engaged.

55
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,944
Mary Anne.

56
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,445
Yes, Balki?

57
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,283
You have something on your chin.

58
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,556
[Lydia laughing]

59
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,593
Oh, oh. Ahem.

60
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,328
Um, there’s, uh, a new, uh

61
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,464
librarian in the Archives.

62
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,233
He certainly knows
where everything is.

63
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,871
So are you two ready
for the big day?

64
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,540
Oh, yeah, we’re all set.

65
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:28,909
[chuckles]
Then you’ve signed the papers?

66
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:32,579
‐What papers?
‐The pre‐nuptial agreement.

67
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,582
After all, your best earning
years are ahead of you.

68
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:39,252
And someone with your talents
could make a lot of money

69
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:42,589
and you don’t wanna lose it
all on a messy divorce.

70
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,525
I wouldn’t even consider
asking Jennifer

71
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,793
to sign a pre‐nuptial agreement.

72
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,562
I was talking to Jennifer.

73
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:52,733
We’ll have lunch.

74
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,505
Oh, hi, Lydia.
The new librarian’s married.

75
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:07,347
Jennifer, Mary Anne, guess what.
Guess what.

76
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:10,717
I’m throwing a bachelor party
for Cousin Larry tonight!

77
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,020
Oh‐ho‐ho‐ho! Ho‐ho‐ho!

78
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,388
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

79
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,359
Oh, okay, stop, stop it,
stop it, stop it.

80
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:20,827
Larry, I can’t believe
you’re going to have

81
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,296
one of those disgusting
bachelor parties.

82
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,931
[laughing]

83
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,668
Enough. Alright,
stop it, stop it.

84
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,536
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Don’t...

85
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,371
Jennifer, it’s not gonna
be anything like that.

86
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:32,639
We’re‐we’re just
gonna get together

87
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,575
a‐and, uh, make a quilt.

88
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,012
Larry, give me a little credit.

89
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:41,582
I know what goes on
at these things.

90
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,350
A bachelor party nearly
destroyed my family.

91
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,419
My Cousin April’s fiance
ran off with a stripper

92
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,854
from his bachelor party.

93
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,723
He gave up a thriving
dental practice

94
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,826
to tell jokes at a place
called Benny’s Boom‐Boom Room.

95
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,530
I love the Boom‐Boom Room.

96
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,735
Oh, it’s a real classy place.

97
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:04,738
They’ve got this thick carpeting
that cushions your fall

98
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,507
if you slip off your barstool.

99
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,912
I just don’t think
I could ever marry a man

100
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:15,882
who would participate in such
a disgusting, degrading ritual.

101
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,651
[laughs]

102
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,420
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop! Stop it!

103
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,759
J‐J‐Jennifer, Balki is
organizing the bachelor party.

104
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,027
You have nothing to worry about.

105
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,095
Oh, I hope not.

106
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,932
Well, we better get going.
I‐I’ll see you after lunch.

107
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,133
[laughs]

108
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,901
Stop it! Stop it!

109
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,378
[indistinct chatter on TV]

110
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,680
Goat doodle?

111
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:51,818
They’re the traditional
Myposian pre‐wedding snack.

112
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,086
They’re hairless.

113
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,123
There it is! Y‐yeah.

114
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,059
[all cheering]

115
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,061
‐Yes!
‐Quiet! Quiet!

116
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,665
Now look what you’ve done
to his doodles!

117
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,035
Hey, Lar, lighten up.
It’s a bachelor party.

118
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,837
It’s supposed to be loud.

119
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,540
You keep it up
and I will send you home

120
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,108
just like I sent Fred home.

121
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:19,913
[lowers volume]

122
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,415
‐Oh, come on.
‐Oh, come on.

123
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,084
[knock on door]

124
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,852
[indistinct chatter on TV]

125
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,625
Mr. Gorpley.

126
00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:32,659
Dusty doodle?

127
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:34,928
Come in.

128
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,866
Mr. Gorpley,
I’m glad you’re here.

129
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,968
Things, things are kind of slow.

130
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,972
Looks like I got here
just in time.

131
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,074
I brought everything we need.

132
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,144
Bartokomous, this party
is about to heat up.

133
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,013
‐Okay, he’s goin’!
‐He’s goin’. All the way!

134
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,114
He’s goin’!

135
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,717
[all cheering]

136
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,184
(all)
Move it! Move it!

137
00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,721
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

138
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,591
Quiet, or I am going
to have to clear this room!

139
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,063
‐Balki!
‐Ah!

140
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,670
Watch your doodles!

141
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,007
Mr. Gorpley.

142
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,475
Here.

143
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:23,744
Wet...

144
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,111
...your...

145
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,146
...whistles.

146
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,886
[gasping]

147
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,491
‐Tastes great.
‐Less filling.

148
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:49,069
Five bucks says
that Appleton can’t do two.

149
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:52,506
‐Ah!
‐Oh, ho, ho, I can do two!

150
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,575
‐Easy!
‐Go!

151
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,777
[all chanting]
Go! Go! Go!

152
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,184
[shatters]

153
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,953
[all laughing]

154
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,259
There we go.

155
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,629
I don’t see...

156
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,864
[indistinct]

157
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,936
[all laughing]

158
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,076
Go! Go! Go!

159
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,179
[all chanting]
Go! Go! Go!

160
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,220
[all cheering]

161
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,837
[knock on door]

162
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,172
‐I’ll get it!
‐I’ll get it!

163
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,675
[grunts]

164
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,277
‐’I got it.’
‐’I got it.’

165
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,748
‐I’ll get it. I’ll get it.
‐’I’ll get the door.’

166
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,616
‐I’ll get the door.
‐’I’ll get the door.’

167
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,585
‐I’ll get the door.
‐’I’ll get the door.’

168
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,153
‐’I got it.’
‐I’ll get the door.

169
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,123
I thought our living room
was bigger.

170
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,733
[knock on door]

171
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,134
Who is it?

172
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:30,837
Oh, it’s you.

173
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,807
[both laughing]

174
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:44,084
[laughing]

175
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,790
Are you Larry Appleton?

176
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,025
Am I?

177
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,229
Well, of course, you are.
Don’t be meticulous.

178
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,899
[laughing]

179
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,101
Hi. I’m Bambi.

180
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,736
[all cheering]

181
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,705
[upbeat music]

182
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,674
[men whistling]

183
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,160
[telephone rings]

184
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:30,931
(Balki)
’Cousin, answer the phone.’

185
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,269
I’m trying to answer the phone

186
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:39,039
but I can’t concentrate
with all this...

187
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,208
...ringing.

188
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:46,780
[screams]

189
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,153
[ringing continues]

190
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:06,199
Balki, our phone
is inside the wall.

191
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,072
Oh. Ow. Oh.

192
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,942
[ringing continues]

193
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,243
I’ll find it.

194
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:28,354
Hello.

195
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,390
Appleton‐Bartokomous residence.

196
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,158
How may I direct your call?

197
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,030
Oh, it’s Jennifer.
Cousin, it’s for you.

198
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,433
Hello?

199
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:43,236
Oh, oh, hi, Jen!

200
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,305
What‐what bachelor party?

201
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,508
Oh! Oh, m‐my bachelor party.

202
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,911
Well, well, it was, it was,
uh, very, very pleasant.

203
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,816
Uh, you wanna come on down?
Well, sure.

204
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,384
Sure, that’s w...

205
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:02,322
W‐well, uh, uh, isn’t‐isn’t it
a little, uh, uh, early?

206
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,991
What? Noon? It’s already noon?

207
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:07,293
Wha‐wha... No, no, no,
I’ve‐I’ve been up for hours.

208
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,030
Yeah, oh, okay, alright.
Yeah, sure.

209
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,165
Okay, okay. Come on down.
See you in a few minutes.

210
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,102
Jennifer is coming down,
so I can try on my wedding band.

211
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,337
[gasps]

212
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,371
Ow!

213
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,409
If she sees this mess,
I’m a dead man.

214
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,179
We have to clean
this place up now!

215
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:39,359
Cousin, what should I do
with this punch?

216
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,794
Throw it out.

217
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,369
Here, give me a hand over here.

218
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,148
There.

219
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,385
Oh.

220
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,387
Everything’s fine.

221
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,389
No evidence of a bachelor party.

222
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,291
No evidence of a stripper.

223
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,059
No evidence of anything at all.

224
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,429
What’s that?

225
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,833
That’s my arm.

226
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,068
Fingers, hand, wrist,
tattoo of a naked lady.

227
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,305
[gasps]
Oh, my Lord!

228
00:13:26,607 --> 00:13:28,074
[gasping]

229
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:34,080
Cousin, that’s, that’s
not just any naked lady.

230
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,049
That looks like Bambi.

231
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:42,856
Boom, boo‐boom. Boom, boo‐boom.
Boom, boo‐boom. Boom, boo‐boom‐‐

232
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,358
Balki!

233
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:47,227
I must have gotten this
last night.

234
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,562
Wh‐where did we go last night?

235
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,963
Did we go down to the wharf?

236
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,397
[sniffing]

237
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,969
‐What did we do?
‐Don’t you remember?

238
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,539
Well, the last thing I remember
is‐is‐is drinking punch

239
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,306
out of Bambi’s bra.

240
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,578
That’s the last thing
I remember too.

241
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,614
It was a double.

242
00:14:12,553 --> 00:14:15,055
Where do I come up with them?

243
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,526
Balki, Jennifer will be here
any minute.

244
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,128
And I have a‐a naked lady
tattooed on my arm.

245
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,130
I have no reason
to go on living!

246
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,332
[crying]

247
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,101
It’s okay. I have everything
under control.

248
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,272
I know what I have to do.
I’ll just cut off my arm.

249
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,275
[grunts]

250
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,581
Cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin,
you cannot cut off your arm.

251
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,651
[growling]

252
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,488
Why am I making myself crazy?

253
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,359
I’ll just pull down my sleeve.

254
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,460
[screaming]

255
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,629
[knock on door]

256
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,132
Balki, it’s Jennifer.

257
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:01,935
If she sees my arm,
my life is over.

258
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,136
[knock on door]

259
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,105
No, it’s not, cousin.

260
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,612
Why aren’t you helping me?

261
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:14,380
Cousin, put your, put your
right arm in this, in the coat.

262
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,582
Put our right arm
in the coat.

263
00:15:15,616 --> 00:15:16,583
Don’t put your left arm in.

264
00:15:16,617 --> 00:15:18,552
I’ll put my left arm in
right behind you.

265
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,653
Now sit down.

266
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,358
’Give me your hand.’

267
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,231
Okay, here we go.

268
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,633
[knock on door]

269
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:33,667
Come in.

270
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,304
Jennifer?

271
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,076
‐Hi, Larry.
‐Hi.

272
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,479
Oh, come in.
Uh, uh, sit down.

273
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,284
Uh, gosh, I‐I‐I wished
I had known you’re coming.

274
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,486
Uh, because, uh,
because, uh, well

275
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,255
because, uh, of course,
I’m, I’m a mess.

276
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,697
Well, I can’t wait for you
to try on your wedding ring.

277
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,466
Oh, oh, uh, uh, uh...

278
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:09,135
Uh, Jennifer, well, uh...

279
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,271
You know...

280
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,373
...trying on a wedding ring

281
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,609
before the ceremony

282
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,478
is bad luck.

283
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,113
Bad luck, unh‐unh.

284
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:23,049
No! No, no, no.

285
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,184
A total no.

286
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,286
[indistinct mumbling]

287
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,554
(Balki)
’Ah!’

288
00:16:32,693 --> 00:16:35,195
Larry, that’s ridiculous.
Now give me your hand.

289
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,563
Uh, uh, oh, oop.

290
00:16:36,597 --> 00:16:37,764
‐’Ah!’
‐Ooh.

291
00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:40,500
Uh, I just remembered.

292
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:42,603
Ow!

293
00:16:42,636 --> 00:16:44,104
[groans]

294
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,041
Uh, you know,
I‐I don’t think the, uh

295
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:49,543
wedding band
will, will fit today

296
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,277
uh, because, uh, because I’m...

297
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,113
Uh, ooh, well, well, uh...

298
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:55,115
[indistinct mumbling]

299
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,184
Ooh! Because...

300
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,253
...of water retention.

301
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,055
Water retention.

302
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,224
Yes, just... Oh, bloat! Bloat!
Look at that.

303
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,291
Look at,
look at that, bloat.

304
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,392
Look at that bloat.

305
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,829
(Balki)
’Oh, ow, ow!’

306
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,465
‐Larry, give me your hand.
‐Um, well, oh, oh, uh, okay.

307
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:16,469
Well, I never realized
what long

308
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,705
lovely slender fingers you have.

309
00:17:18,739 --> 00:17:20,841
Oh, oh, well, oh.

310
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,743
Oh, oh, ha‐ha...

311
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:25,078
[indistinct mumbling]

312
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:26,613
[laughs]

313
00:17:26,647 --> 00:17:28,715
Actually, uh, I always thought

314
00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:31,618
your fingers were kind
of short and chubby.

315
00:17:33,754 --> 00:17:36,222
Well, I‐I, I would’ve
described them

316
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:39,560
as, uh, strong and masculine.

317
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,267
Well, I’ll say I always liked
your short, chubby fingers.

318
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,402
I thought they were sexy.

319
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,504
Well, you know, you know...

320
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,738
[laughs]
Well, yes.

321
00:17:51,772 --> 00:17:53,439
I, but, I had no...

322
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:54,808
Oh, I still have one of those!

323
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,309
[laughs]

324
00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:06,452
The, uh, ahem,
this hand, uh, represents

325
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,690
uh, my strong masculine side.

326
00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:10,757
[Balki groans]

327
00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:15,762
Well, whereas, uh, this hand,
uh, uh, represents

328
00:18:15,796 --> 00:18:18,865
my, my my soft wimpy side.

329
00:18:18,899 --> 00:18:20,166
Ouch!

330
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,267
[Balki groaning]

331
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,636
[screams]

332
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:28,408
Well, it’s, uh
ahem, gas, gas!

333
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,476
[grunting]

334
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,413
Hoo‐hoo!

335
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,515
Better.

336
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:37,183
[panting]

337
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,284
Ah! Woo‐hoo!

338
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,586
[laughs]

339
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:42,856
‐Larry.
‐Hmm?

340
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,559
‐Why don’t we stop this?
‐Stop what?

341
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:47,528
I know about the Bambi tattoo.

342
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,695
[gasps]

343
00:18:50,764 --> 00:18:51,765
[gags]

344
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,735
Do, you‐you‐you do?

345
00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:56,169
Yes, I do.

346
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,939
[grunts]

347
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,841
Darn, rats!

348
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:03,209
[grunts]

349
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,310
[laughs]

350
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,412
[grunts]

351
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,383
[inhales sharply]

352
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:12,252
Woo! Hoo! Hoo!

353
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:13,419
[chuckles]

354
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,723
Balki, you can come out now.

355
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,164
Oh, Jennifer,
how long have you been here?

356
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:33,206
It’s a nice try,
but I know everything.

357
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,876
Well, well, c‐could you
fill us in?

358
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,979
[scoffs]
Well, at, uh, 2 o’clock
in the morning

359
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,515
your friend Jimmy knocked
on my door looking for his car.

360
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,584
Uh, he told me everything.

361
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,686
Evidently, Gorpley tricked Balki

362
00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:47,854
into letting him take care
of the entertainment.

363
00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:50,591
So Gorpley hired Bambi
and he spiked the punch.

364
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:55,962
Oh.

365
00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,966
Oh, w‐well, Jennifer,
Jennifer, I’m, uh...

366
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,935
I’m gonna have to have
them change the tattoo.

367
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,871
I’m‐I’m gonna make them add
an apron and, and write mom.

368
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,475
Of course, I can never
go home again, but, but...

369
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:12,646
That’s a small price to pay
for your forgiveness?

370
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,515
Oh, Larry,
it isn’t a real tattoo.

371
00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:16,349
It comes off with baby oil.

372
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,418
It’s one of Gorpley’s
little jokes.

373
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:21,287
Oh, but‐but, y‐you forgive me?

374
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,856
Of course, I forgive you.

375
00:20:27,628 --> 00:20:28,895
Now I‐I’ll tell you what.

376
00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:30,897
Why don’t you
just clean that tattoo off

377
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,633
and then I think
you should come upstairs

378
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:35,035
and apologize to Mary Anne?

379
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,403
Last night, someone
from your party painted her dog.

380
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,382
Balki, what are you doing?

381
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:52,485
I’m sitting among the ashes.

382
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,423
Well, I can see that

383
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,492
but why are you sitting
among the ashes?

384
00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:03,296
Because I failed you.

385
00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:07,868
And because of me,
we drink a horrible alcohol.

386
00:21:07,901 --> 00:21:09,770
We break all the dishes and

387
00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:11,538
and I have a vague recollection

388
00:21:11,572 --> 00:21:14,374
of putting Mrs. Schleggelmilch
down the garbage chute.

389
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,342
[sobs]

390
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:23,850
I don’t deserve the honor
of being your best man.

391
00:21:23,884 --> 00:21:26,553
So with a heavy heart

392
00:21:26,587 --> 00:21:27,988
I’m stepping down.

393
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,562
Balki, Balki,
come out of the ashes.

394
00:21:35,596 --> 00:21:37,764
‐No.
‐No, no, Balki.

395
00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:39,766
‐Come out of the ashes.
‐No.

396
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,768
‐Come out of the ashes.
‐No.

397
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:43,103
Uh, Balki, get out of the ashes!

398
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,437
Wait.

399
00:21:46,372 --> 00:21:47,373
Balki.

400
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,011
The, the day I marry Jennifer

401
00:21:51,044 --> 00:21:53,814
is gonna be the happiest day
of my life.

402
00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:55,582
And on the happiest day
of my life

403
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,619
I want my best friend
standing next to me.

404
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:00,386
Let’s give him a call.

405
00:22:03,123 --> 00:22:05,626
Balki, I couldn’t have
a better best man than you.

406
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,630
‐Really?
‐Yes.

407
00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:11,598
I want you to be my best man.

408
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:13,934
Then I accept.

409
00:22:15,636 --> 00:22:18,939
Now we are so happy,
we do the dance of joy!

410
00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:22,008
♪ Da da da da da da da ♪

411
00:22:22,042 --> 00:22:24,410
♪ Hey hey hey hey hey hey ♪

412
00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:34,621
[theme music]