1
00:00:00,801 --> 00:00:02,769
[theme music]

2
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:13,614
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:17,283
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

4
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,420
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,023
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

6
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,428
♪ No matter what
the odds are this time ♪

7
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,531
♪ Nothing’s going
to stand in my way ♪

8
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,165
♪ This flame in my heart ♪

9
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,167
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪

10
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,771
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

11
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♪ Standing tall ♪

12
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:45,779
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

13
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♪ Rise and fall ♪

14
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

15
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♪ The rain and thunder ♪

16
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♪ The wind and haze ♪

17
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♪ I’m bound for better days ♪

18
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:02,796
♪ It’s my life and my dream ♪

19
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,465
♪ And nothing’s going
to stop me now ♪

20
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,701
[harmonica music]

21
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,638
[theme music]

22
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:19,479
[instrumental music]

23
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We are making great time.

24
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We were not scheduled
to pass that feed store

25
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:33,226
for another
35 seconds, here.

26
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:36,496
’There you go.’

27
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,331
‐Ooh!
‐Oh!

28
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:39,833
Balki, watch where you’re going!

29
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,836
Cousin, you know this drive
would be a whole lot easier

30
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:46,139
if you and your clipboard
and your maps

31
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,509
and your stopwatch
and your emergency flares

32
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,577
all took the bus
and met me at the wedding.

33
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Attitude flare up,
right on schedule.

34
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,620
[siren blaring]

35
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,722
(policeman on PA)
’You, in the Mustang.
Pull over.’

36
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,857
[blaring continues]

37
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,859
What‐what did you do?
Why is he pulling us over?

38
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,193
I didn’t do nothing.

39
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:08,394
Well, you must’ve
done something.

40
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,263
Cousin, I was just
driving along

41
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,266
trying to avoid getting
paper cuts on my face.

42
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:16,202
You were telling me
"Go slow, turn here, do this"

43
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,604
and then with map in my face!

44
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:18,705
And, here.
How do you like it?

45
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,306
Do you like it?
Can you drive?

46
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,475
Look, a little thing for your
nose so you can breathe.

47
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,645
[knock on car]

48
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,179
(together)
Hi.

49
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,415
Uh, license and registration?

50
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,518
Is‐is there a problem,
officer?

51
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,419
Uh yeah, your friend
here was driving

52
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:34,888
twenty‐six miles an hour.

53
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,591
I wanted to go faster but
Cousin Larry wouldn’t let me.

54
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:38,892
And your Cousin Larry?

55
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,060
Larry Appleton, officer.

56
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,229
He calls me Cousin Larry
because I’m his cousin... Larry.

57
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,767
We‐well, I think
I can clear this up.

58
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,669
You‐you see,
I‐I’m getting married at

59
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:51,572
uh, noon today at
the Westridge Country Inn.

60
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,674
The whole wedding’s
in mint green and pink.

61
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,241
And we wanted
to make sure that

62
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,277
that, uh, we got there
in plenty of time

63
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,612
with‐without speeding.

64
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,614
They’re going with
birdseed instead of rice.

65
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,516
More environmentally sound.

66
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,552
Are you gonna give us a ticket?

67
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,420
No, just pick up
your speed a little

68
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,723
and, uh, good luck
with the wedding...

69
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,791
...Cousin Larry.

70
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:11,825
(Larry)
’Thank you.’

71
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,400
‐Change places with me.
‐No.

72
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,703
‐Move.
‐No, I’m gonna stay right here.

73
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,004
‐Move, come on, change places.
‐No, no, I’m not gonna move‐‐

74
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,338
‐Let’s go. Get out of the seat.
‐I’m bigger than you are.

75
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,307
‐And I’m gonna stay right here.
‐Get out of the seat, come on.

76
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,341
Whoa!

77
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:37,417
Now, help me move the seat up.

78
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:46,927
Move it back.

79
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,439
[engine revving]
Wait, wait, cousin, cousin.

80
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:00,574
‐Before you do anything‐‐
‐’Balki, please.’

81
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,375
‐Cousin, Cousin, wait!
‐’Please, please, please!’

82
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:03,510
‐I know what I’m doing!
‐Now, you listen to me.

83
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:04,978
Not another word!
Not another word!

84
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,580
‐Not another word!
‐Cousin! Cousin!

85
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:09,282
Not a single, solitary word

86
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,851
until we get to the wedding.

87
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,023
Thank you.

88
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,728
[car crashes]

89
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,531
(policeman)
’Oh, what the...’

90
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,767
Oh, my Lord!

91
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,370
May I speak now?

92
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,405
Yes...

93
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:34,474
For future reference

94
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:37,277
’R’ stands for reverse.

95
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,447
[instrumental music]

96
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:49,990
(Larry)
’Jennifer...’

97
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,025
Jennifer, ye‐yeah...

98
00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:53,827
Yeah, all‐all‐all
that screaming

99
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:54,861
can’t be good for your throat.

100
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,430
You don’t want
to lose your voice

101
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,565
before you have to say "I do".

102
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:01,502
[laughs]

103
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,570
[sobbing]
Oh, God...
My good God.

104
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,371
What am I gonna do?

105
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,407
She’s falling apart.

106
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,775
She’s not as strong as I am.

107
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,345
Okay, Cousin,
it’s gonna be okay

108
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:14,047
You come over here,
hold this.

109
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,883
Give me the phone
and then, just breathe.

110
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,384
Breathe.

111
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:19,520
Breathe.

112
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,054
Okay.

113
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,355
‐Hello, Jen... Whoa!
‐’I’m gonna kill you!’

114
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:25,491
‐’It’s the most important da‐‐’
‐Jennifer, it’s Balki!

115
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:26,727
‐’Where are you?’
‐Balki!

116
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,030
‐’How could you?’
‐Jennifer now, now...

117
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,866
I know he’s not
as strong as you are, yes.

118
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:36,737
Um, maybe you better
put Mary Anne on.

119
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,939
Hello, Mary Anne?
This is Balki.

120
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,974
Listen, I’m going
to tell you something

121
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,743
you got to listen
very carefully

122
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,478
it’s very important.

123
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,915
If I put my hand around
the phone does it sound like

124
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,752
I’m calling you from a cave?

125
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,521
[distorting voice]
Hello, I’m in a cave.

126
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,890
Hello, I’m calling you from...

127
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,393
Speak.

128
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,796
Uh, Mary Anne, look

129
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:03,730
you’ve got to come down here

130
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:07,568
bring cash to pay the fine,
okay, okay?

131
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,070
[distorted voice]
I’m saying goodbye from a cave.

132
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:13,607
‐Goodbye from...
‐Uh, hello.

133
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,676
Yeah, yeah. Mary Anne?

134
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,843
Yeah, just‐just tell Jennifer

135
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,745
that there’s still
plenty of time

136
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,515
to‐to get there
before the wedding.

137
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,049
Is‐is‐is that the band
setting up?

138
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,119
That’s just her?

139
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,657
Okay, bye‐bye.

140
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:33,894
Gary, I need some male
volunteers for a line‐up.

141
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,896
I’ve always dreamed
of being in a line‐up!

142
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,898
(Larry)
’Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.’

143
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,199
Any other day would
be fine

144
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,635
but, uh, today
is my wedding day.

145
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:44,004
My bride’s a little upset,
so, if you don’t mind...

146
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,673
‐You just volunteered!
‐Oh boy.

147
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,442
[instrumental music]

148
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,448
(Alberton over PA)
’Alright, walk to
the left, please.’

149
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,823
Cousin, what this?

150
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:03,857
Tells you how tall you are.

151
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,197
That’s funny, cousin, you

152
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,066
you always told me
you were five‐ten.

153
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,937
I am. The floor slopes.

154
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,508
Maybe we should tell
Detective Albertson

155
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,009
about that.
Detective Albertson‐‐

156
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,144
Yeah, I’m‐I’m sure he knows.

157
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,512
I’m sure he knows.

158
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:26,647
Uh, listen, uh

159
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,748
can we move this along

160
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,182
because I‐I have
to be somewhere.

161
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:34,120
Oh, look, cousin,
we’ve got company!

162
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,822
Hello, my name is Balki

163
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:36,957
and this my Cousin Larry.

164
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,659
Balki, we have no time for this.

165
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,761
Cousin, I was just
trying to be polite.

166
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,829
I’m Rudy, it’s a pleasure
to make your acquaintance.

167
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,665
[chuckles]

168
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,737
Even when one is incarcerated,
manners are important.

169
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,841
What am I always telling you?

170
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,012
You are absolutely right.

171
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,983
Alright, alright, I’m going!

172
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,217
(Alberton over PA)
’Stand on the numbers.’

173
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,995
Hi, my name is Balki and...

174
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,043
And, and, uh...

175
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,177
Uh...

176
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,214
Wow!

177
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,087
This is like looking
into a mirror

178
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,557
if Cousin Larry
was standing in front of it.

179
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,027
Well, this is, uh,
really throwing off

180
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,795
my schedule, guys.

181
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,997
If‐if we could just
move this along.

182
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,666
(Alberton on PA)
’Number four, pipe down’

183
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,035
’and face front.’

184
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,904
’Now, take your time
Mrs. Marshall, and tell me’

185
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,607
’if, uh, any of these men
look like the person who robbed’

186
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,175
’your store last night?’

187
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,977
(Mrs. Marshall)
’That’s him!
The one on the end.’

188
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,547
’The one with the curly hair
and no upper lip.’

189
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,784
(Albertson on PA)
’Number four, step forward.’

190
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,656
No!
No, no, no, no.

191
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,958
No. Uh...

192
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:18,925
No, no, it wasn’t me.

193
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,727
It wasn’t me, it was,
it was, it was...

194
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,262
Well‐well‐well,
it was probably him!

195
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,365
He‐he has much less
of a lip than I do.

196
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,768
Oh, no, Cousin, he got
twice the lip you got.

197
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,036
Balki, Balki, don’t help.
Alright, don’t help!

198
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,171
‐Don’t do anything!
‐You got a line.

199
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:32,205
‐Don’t talk, not another word!
‐You have nothing.

200
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:37,310
Not another word!
Not a single solitary word!

201
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,913
Ugh, I‐I‐I couldn’t have robbed

202
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:42,082
a store last night
because I was at home.

203
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,817
I was at home,
I was with Balki.

204
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,619
I was, I was, I was...
Tell them, Balki.

205
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:46,653
Tell them I was with you.
Tell them.

206
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,991
Talk! You‐you you can talk now,
tell them.

207
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,360
Are you subject
to wild mood swings

208
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,762
like my Cousin Larry?

209
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,065
Tell them!

210
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,834
I wish you’d make up your mind.

211
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,236
Yeah, I was with
Cousin Larry last night.

212
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,938
(Albertson on PA)
’Good news, Mrs. Marshall’

213
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,741
’we have the driver
of the getaway car, too.’

214
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,309
’Book ’em both!’

215
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,711
Cousin!

216
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,345
You won and I’m first runner‐up!

217
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,114
[instrumental music]

218
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,088
[instrumental music]

219
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,260
‐Balki?
‐’Mary Anne!’

220
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,329
‐Oh, Balki!
‐Oh, Mary Anne!

221
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,898
I was so worried about you,
are you alright?

222
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,366
‐Yeah, I’m okay.
‐Oh, Balki.

223
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,201
I’ll wait for you,
no matter how many years

224
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,237
you rot in this stinking
hellhole.

225
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,407
Mary Anne, when I get
out of the big house

226
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,743
we’ll make a fresh start.

227
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,277
A guy can change!

228
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,848
Balki, will you stop it.
We didn’t do anything!

229
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,916
That’s what makes it so tragic.

230
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,718
Never mind... Stop...

231
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,320
Stop... Stop it, stop it!
Never mind all this.

232
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,156
Stop!

233
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,858
Where’s Jennifer,
is she alright?

234
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,193
Oh, she’s much better,
she was right behind me.

235
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,430
(Larry)
’Oh, Jennifer,
Jennifer, Jennifer!’

236
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,466
Oh... Oh, Jennifer!

237
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,335
Jennifer, Jennifer...

238
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,271
Oh.

239
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,807
[grunting]

240
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,108
I missed you so much.

241
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,910
I missed you so much
and I am so sorry.

242
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,211
I’ll‐I’ll make this up to you.

243
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,312
I’ll make this up to you.

244
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,346
I...

245
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,453
I‐I‐I know you’re angry
and you have every right to be.

246
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,855
I’m not angry.

247
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,425
Did you hear that?
Am I lucky or what?

248
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,061
I am marrying the most
forgiving woman in the world.

249
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,768
Larry, you don’t understand

250
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:44,237
I’m not angry
because I’ve made a decision.

251
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,806
What happened today was a sign.

252
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,508
We shouldn’t get married.

253
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,375
What?

254
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,877
We shouldn’t get married

255
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,245
we shouldn’t
have gotten engaged.

256
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,247
I shouldn’t have
moved to Chicago.

257
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,882
I should have stayed
in Iowa and gone into

258
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,785
the family corn‐canning
business.

259
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,754
But, Jennifer, you don’t
know what you’re saying.

260
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,889
Yes, I do, Larry, I’ve given
this a lot of thought.

261
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,859
I can’t go through with this.

262
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,127
I’m going back to Iowa.

263
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,332
Okay.

264
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,036
Okay.

265
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,539
I shoulda
seen this coming.

266
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,340
I fall in love with
a beautiful woman

267
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,508
she falls in love with me.

268
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,176
I knew it was too
good to be true.

269
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,047
Nothing works out
for Larry Appleton.

270
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,219
I’ll think of you
whenever I eat creamed corn.

271
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,524
Thanks.

272
00:12:37,558 --> 00:12:40,160
I’ll think of you whenever
I watch "America’s Most Wanted."

273
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,399
Jennifer, Jennifer.

274
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,434
Come on.

275
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:53,373
I’m sorry, Balki.

276
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:55,175
I don’t believe this.

277
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,409
‐’What are you doing?’
‐Cousin?

278
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,978
‐Balki, it’s over.
‐’It’s just not meant to be.’

279
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,346
Now, wait just a minute.

280
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,015
Just listen to me,
the two of you.

281
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,417
Come over here,
come right over here.

282
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,519
You’re being ridiculous!

283
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:06,820
Now, don’t be!

284
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,392
You always plan for

285
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,594
for every little thing

286
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,596
every little problem
that might come up.

287
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,330
And then when a little
problem does come up

288
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,432
that you didn’t plan
for, you go to pieces!

289
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,035
So, okay.

290
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,504
When life gives you lemons

291
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:25,171
make furniture polish.

292
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,412
You’re throwing away
all the joys

293
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,414
of being married, for what?

294
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:37,083
This is what they call
throwing out the baby

295
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,284
with the trough water.

296
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,556
And you will regret that
for the rest of your life.

297
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,125
Now, you better start talking.

298
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,432
Larry, I really don’t want to go
back to Iowa and can corn.

299
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,968
Well, I don’t want you to go
back to Iowa and can corn.

300
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,437
Well, you can’t go back
to Iowa and can corn

301
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,606
your parents sold the farm
and moved to Florida, remember?

302
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,110
Oh, right.
Larry, I want to marry you.

303
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,445
And I want to marry you.

304
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,248
Well, uh, maybe we
could change our plans.

305
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,584
Well, I‐I‐I wanna
go with the flow

306
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:14,054
uh, but I‐I just don’t know
what to do without my clipboard.

307
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,360
You don’t need
a clipboard, Cousin.

308
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,628
You don’t need a plan.

309
00:14:21,662 --> 00:14:22,929
All you have to do is know

310
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,598
what you want and go for it.

311
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,232
’Now, what do you want?’

312
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,972
[instrumental music]

313
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,377
Yeah, oh, uh...

314
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,180
Reverend Peters wants us
to get started.

315
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,281
Rudy, please.

316
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,118
[instrumental music]

317
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,251
Very nice, Rudy.

318
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,322
Oh, okay, uh...

319
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,590
Reverend Peters say that

320
00:15:23,624 --> 00:15:25,358
uh, he’s ready to begin.

321
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,427
He, he’s got all
the wedding guests

322
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,062
gathered around
the speaker phone.

323
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,701
Okay, he says you
should join hands.

324
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,405
Not you.

325
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:47,080
Sit down, please.

326
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,515
Okay, I got that.

327
00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:49,983
"Dearly beloved

328
00:15:51,652 --> 00:15:53,587
"we are gathered here today

329
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:58,124
"to join Cousin Larry
and future Cousin Jennifer

330
00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:04,097
in holy macaroni."

331
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,506
"Do you, future Cousin Jennifer

332
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:16,209
"take Cousin Larry

333
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,411
"to be your awful wedded husband

334
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,717
"for rich man, for poor man

335
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,621
for butter or moist?"

336
00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:33,560
Well, I‐I’m doing
the best I can!

337
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,461
This whole thing would go
much more smoothly

338
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,798
if I just married
them the Myposian way.

339
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,533
’Would that be
alright with you?’

340
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,101
He says it’s alright with him.

341
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,202
Is it alright with you

342
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,505
if I marry you
the Myposian way?

343
00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:46,472
There isn’t any livestock
involved, is there?

344
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,243
Well, of course not.

345
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:51,578
Don’t be ridiculous.

346
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,381
Go ahead, Balki.

347
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:56,583
(Balki)
’Okay.’

348
00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:59,319
The Myposian wedding
ceremony is very simple.

349
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,523
Mary Anne, have you
got the ring?

350
00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:03,690
Yes.

351
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:06,392
Give it to the future
Cousin Jennifer.

352
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:11,665
Okay, put the ring
on Cousin Larry’s finger

353
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,033
and repeat after me.

354
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:17,671
Cousin, I give you this ring...

355
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,072
"Cousin,
I give you this ring..."

356
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,611
...as a symbol of my promise

357
00:17:24,645 --> 00:17:27,380
to love you
and to cherish you.

358
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,282
"...as a symbol of my promise

359
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,785
to love you and to cherish you."

360
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,320
And to tend the flock
if you ever get a cold.

361
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,295
"And to tend the flock
if you ever get a cold."

362
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:47,868
Cousin, put the ring
on her finger

363
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,369
and repeat after me.

364
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:55,141
Jennifer,
I give you this ring...

365
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,778
"Jennifer, I give
you this ring..."

366
00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:59,680
...as a symbol
of my promise

367
00:17:59,713 --> 00:18:02,115
to love you
and to cherish you.

368
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:03,449
"...as a symbol of my promise

369
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,252
to love you and to cherish you."

370
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:09,289
And to chew your food
if you lose all your teeth.

371
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,467
"And to chew your food
if you lose all your teeth."

372
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,907
This is the part
where you tell each other

373
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,341
how you feel.

374
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,380
I feel really good.

375
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,649
[chuckles]

376
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:37,851
No.

377
00:18:38,819 --> 00:18:41,287
You tell each other

378
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,889
from the bottom
of your heart

379
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:45,759
how you feel
about pledging yourself

380
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:46,793
to one another.

381
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,395
Well, I‐I don’t, uh

382
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:50,897
feel comfortable doing that.

383
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:55,902
Cousin, I know you
don’t have it planned

384
00:18:55,936 --> 00:18:58,438
but, if you cannot
tell Jennifer

385
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,773
how you feel about her now...

386
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:02,709
...what are you saving it for?

387
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:10,784
Jennifer...

388
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,687
...wh‐when we first met,
I‐I‐I never dreamed that

389
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,322
that we’d be getting married.

390
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,892
And I just hoped that
you’d go out with me

391
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:22,663
and‐and to this day, I‐I haven’t
figured out why you did.

392
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:29,202
And Balki’s right,
I‐I can’t plan everything

393
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,236
that’s gonna happen in my life.

394
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,874
But I can plan on spending
my life with you.

395
00:19:35,776 --> 00:19:36,777
I love you, Jennifer.

396
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,716
Larry, I went out
with you because...

397
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,925
Well, I‐I’m sure
I had a good reason.

398
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:55,629
No, no!
I know I had a good reason.

399
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,865
You’re sweet
and funny and kind

400
00:19:58,899 --> 00:20:00,934
and no matter what lies ahead

401
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,736
I want to share
the unexpected with you.

402
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:05,572
I love you, Larry.

403
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,546
Now comes the part
of the ceremony

404
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:16,850
where I as official giver
of the vows

405
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,620
’get to tell you how I feel
about the two of you.’

406
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:28,895
Cousin Larry,
I never had a brother.

407
00:20:31,031 --> 00:20:34,500
Cousin Jennifer,
I never had a sister.

408
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,906
If I did, I’d pray

409
00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:41,875
they wouldn’t be
as neurotic as you two.

410
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:51,985
But I couldn’t love them
any more than I love you two.

411
00:20:53,954 --> 00:20:56,690
I wish you a long
and happy married life.

412
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,996
By the power infested in me

413
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:07,067
by Reverend Peters

414
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,770
the state of Illinois

415
00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:12,539
and his majesty,
King Ferdinand of Mypos...

416
00:21:17,578 --> 00:21:20,480
...I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

417
00:21:20,514 --> 00:21:21,682
You may kiss the bride.

418
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,929
This is so moving.

419
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,698
Okay, I can’t let you
take the rap for me.

420
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:39,900
I confess!

421
00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:41,401
I robbed the liquor store.

422
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,504
Would you sit down?

423
00:21:47,841 --> 00:21:49,576
[instrumental music]

424
00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:52,713
Okay, everybody, get ready!

425
00:21:52,746 --> 00:21:53,747
Here they come!

426
00:21:55,682 --> 00:21:57,618
[cheering]

427
00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:05,726
[shrieks]

428
00:22:05,759 --> 00:22:07,694
[instrumental music]

429
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,965
‐Bye, Cousin!
‐Bye!

430
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,399
Bye, Cousin Jennifer!

431
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:15,969
[instrumental music]

432
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:35,455
[theme music]