1
00:00:00,801 --> 00:00:02,202
[theme song]

2
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,548
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:17,217
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

4
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:20,386
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,156
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

6
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,461
♪ No matter what the odds are
this time ♪

7
00:00:28,494 --> 00:00:30,564
♪ Nothing’s gonna stand
in my way ♪

8
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,232
♪ This flame in my heart ♪

9
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:34,100
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪

10
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,671
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

11
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,342
♪ Standing tall ♪

12
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:45,812
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

13
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,815
♪ Rise and fall ♪

14
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♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

15
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♪ The rain and thunder ♪

16
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,756
♪ The wind and haze ♪

17
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,791
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪

18
00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,259
♪ Oo‐ooh ♪

19
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,763
♪ It’s my life and my dream ♪

20
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,465
♪ And nothing’s gonna
stop me now ♪

21
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,311
[instrumental music]

22
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:25,151
Jennifer, Jennifer! Mary Anne!

23
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,352
[grunting]

24
00:01:29,455 --> 00:01:31,825
Hi. Is Balki here?

25
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,661
No, he’s still downtown
taking his citizenship test.

26
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,197
Good. I‐I have
a surprise for Balki.

27
00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:38,765
You got him a wooden box.

28
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,368
He doesn’t have one that size.

29
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,672
No, that’s not the surprise.

30
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,440
See, I arranged to have
Balki’s mother

31
00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:49,142
flown over from Mypos
so she could witness

32
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,377
Balki being sworn in
as a US citizen.

33
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:52,579
I just picked her up
from the airport.

34
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,517
Oh, my God! We’ve gotta
get her out of there!

35
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:02,856
Mary Anne, Balki’s mama
is not in that crate!

36
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,560
Is she, Larry?

37
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,261
No, no, no!

38
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,564
No, that’s, uh,
that’s her luggage.

39
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,433
Uh, Balki’s mama is,
uh, outside.

40
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,536
She’s, uh, she’s staring
at the mailbox.

41
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:19,239
She’s never seen one before.

42
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,507
(Mama)
’Cousin Larry!’

43
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,642
Cousin Larry!

44
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,410
[speaking in Myposian]

45
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,586
[grunts]

46
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,295
Uh, she says she’s going to take
this little tree

47
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,396
with her back to Mypos.

48
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:48,201
Well, Larry, I, I didn’t know
you spoke Myposian.

49
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,803
Well, I‐I picked up a lot

50
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,938
uh, living with Balki
and‐and I took his

51
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,474
uh, Myposian‐English dictionary
so that I could

52
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,476
uh, communicate with her.

53
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,444
[speaking in Myposian]

54
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,583
Uh, she loves our‐our
beautiful walk‐in kitchen.

55
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:03,984
Oooh.

56
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,752
[speaking in Myposian]

57
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,597
W‐woww!

58
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,665
She says, "Wow."

59
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,701
Does she speak
any English at all?

60
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,769
Uh, yeah, a‐a little,
uh, she learned English

61
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,838
uh, from watching
American TV shows.

62
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,774
American TV shows, yes!

63
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,911
Lucy! I’m home!

64
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:34,247
Hee‐ere’s Johnny!

65
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,483
Book ’em, Danno.

66
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:40,253
[humming "Hawaii Five‐O" theme]

67
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:48,629
(Larry)
’Mama.’

68
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,899
Mama...

69
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,435
Uh, mama.

70
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:57,904
She likes everyone
to call her mama.

71
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,373
Mama, yes.

72
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,844
Mama, uh, this,
this is my wife, uh, Jennifer.

73
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,546
Jennifer!

74
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,682
Hello, Jennifer.
Hello. Very pretty.

75
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,617
Very, very pretty.
Very nice! Yes!

76
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:11,885
‐And‐and this is, uh...
‐Yes...

77
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,754
‐This is Mary Anne.
‐Oh.

78
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,990
Mary Anna! Mary Anna!

79
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:21,962
Very, very nice.
Very, very sweet, itta pretty.

80
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:26,600
Hey, um, where the hippi?
Where’s the beef?

81
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:32,706
Make, uh, make, maki,
maki babiki?

82
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,676
Itti, itti Balki?
No, I don’t think so.

83
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,047
That’s a big no‐can‐do.

84
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,720
[horn honking]

85
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,089
‐What is that?
‐Larry, Balki just drove up.

86
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,557
‐Balki! Balki!
‐No, now we want this‐‐

87
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:51,992
‐Balki?
‐To be a surprise, mama.

88
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,528
‐Balki? Balki?
‐We‐we wanna surprise him.

89
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:57,430
So you’re gonna
have to hide in here, okay?

90
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,432
Right in here. Here you go.
Here you go.

91
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,434
‐Ooh, yes! Yes.
‐Right inside. Y‐yeah,

92
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:05,338
You know what, yeah.
No, no, mama. Mama. Yeah, um...

93
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:08,609
No, mama, mama, mama,
this is not your room.

94
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,944
Not your room.
No, we just want you to hide.

95
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,846
We just want you
to hide in here.

96
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,981
Okay, this is your room,
this is your room.

97
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,318
Here you go. Here you go.
Alright. There you are.

98
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:23,924
♪ I’m almost
a Yankee Dood‐lee Dandy ♪

99
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,059
♪ A Yankee Dood‐lee do or die ♪

100
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,094
I passed my citizenship test!

101
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,764
[everyone applauds]

102
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,107
I knew you could do it.

103
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:44,477
Well, I’ll be an official
citizen of the USA

104
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,779
as soon as I go down to

105
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:47,748
the Federal building
and get sworn at.

106
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,619
I can’t wait to call mama
and tell her that soon

107
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,388
Uncle Sam will really be
my uncle!

108
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,623
Well, hold on, Balki.

109
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:58,424
No later, cousin,
I’ve got to call mama.

110
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,626
(Mama)
’Balki!’

111
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,766
‐Mama?
‐’Balki!’

112
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,937
Cousin, this is amazing,
I‐I didn’t even dial

113
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:14,975
and‐and yet she knew
I was, I was calling!

114
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,945
She must have ESPN.

115
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,086
Mama? Mama, it’s me, Balki!

116
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,621
‐’Balki!’
‐Balki‐‐

117
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,089
‐Mama?
‐’Balki!’

118
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,490
‐Balki‐‐
‐Mama?

119
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:31,692
‐’Balki!’
‐Balki‐‐

120
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,826
‐Mama?
‐’Balki!’

121
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:35,428
‐Balki.
‐’Balki!’

122
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:37,030
(Mama)
’Oh!’

123
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,766
Balki, mama’s
not on the phone.

124
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,467
She’s here!

125
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,670
Balki! Balki, my babiki!

126
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,706
‐Mama! Mama!
‐Balki! Balki!

127
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,674
[speaking in Myposian]

128
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,412
Oh, Balki.

129
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,650
Mama says I’m her baby
and she loves me.

130
00:06:58,484 --> 00:06:59,720
[speaking in Myposian]

131
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:04,758
Mama says she wants
to go to her room and relax.

132
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:05,792
Yes.

133
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,795
[speaking in Myposian]

134
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,430
No. No, no.

135
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,799
Yes.

136
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:18,238
‐ Itti babiki, ho‐ho‐ho.
‐Okay.

137
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,473
Ah, Cousin Larry.

138
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:24,477
[speaking in Myposian]

139
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,849
Quasar.

140
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,662
Goodnight, John Boy.

141
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,573
[instrumental music]

142
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,113
‐Cousin Larry!
‐Mama!

143
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,882
Look at this.
Mama shoparuniki.

144
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,718
[speaking in Myposian]

145
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,221
What is all this?

146
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:11,592
I‐I‐I thought you were just
taking mama sightseeing.

147
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,527
She wanted some souvenirs.

148
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,295
A‐apparently it’s
a Myposian tradition.

149
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,599
If you can lift it, it’s yours.

150
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,167
[speaking in Myposian]

151
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,070
Oh, well, lovely.

152
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:25,539
‐You like?
‐Lovely.

153
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,541
‐And this...
‐Yes, uh‐huh.

154
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:31,612
This is,
this a statement of something.

155
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,982
Well, did she,
did she buy anything?

156
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,152
‐You make any, uh, purchasikis?
‐Purchasiki! Wait.

157
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:44,290
♪ You make me feel ♪

158
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,761
♪ You make me feel ♪

159
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:54,568
♪ You make me feel
like a natural woman ♪

160
00:08:56,803 --> 00:09:00,941
Well, well, well, mama, you are
going to look lovely in that.

161
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,710
M‐m‐mama, mama sex pistoliki.

162
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,211
Oh! No.

163
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,883
‐No, I mean it,
‐Oh, go on.

164
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,317
I mean it.

165
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,354
[speaking in Myposian]

166
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,923
Cousin Larry, pooki.

167
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,225
You know,
you‐you just missed Balki.

168
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,293
‐Balki?
‐You just‐‐

169
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,729
Balki! Balki! Balki! Balki!

170
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,897
He’ll be back in a minute.

171
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:26,700
‐In a microseci.
‐Okay.

172
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,168
Uh, Larry, we have to be going.

173
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,603
We’ve been running all morning.

174
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,171
First we took mama
to see the city.

175
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,239
City. Wiggly Field.

176
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,342
Then we took her shopping.

177
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,311
Charge it. Yes.

178
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,381
But her favorite thing
was the escalator.

179
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,751
‐Escalator. Escalator.
‐Yeah. Ooh.

180
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,319
‐Escalator!.
‐Uh...

181
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,991
Escalator.

182
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,100
Mama. Mama.

183
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,201
[speaks in Myposian]

184
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,204
Uh, it’s broken.

185
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:07,307
‐Hmm?
‐It’s broken.

186
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,610
‐ Bustakaki.
‐Oh, bummer.

187
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,682
Good luck, Larry.

188
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,684
‐Bye‐bye, bye‐bye.
‐Oh, yes.

189
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:22,422
Yes, very nice. Very pretty.
Goodbye. Goodbye.

190
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,290
These are very nice.

191
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,159
Don’t forget to brush and floss.

192
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:29,329
And you got to...eat.
Okay? Eat, eat.

193
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,635
She hates me.

194
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,039
[laughing]
And you said
you weren’t ticklish!

195
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,243
Um, I was just helping Lydia
with some research.

196
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,914
Uh, mama, these are‐are
two friends o‐of Balki’s.

197
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:48,849
‐Balki! Balki!
‐Yeah, uh...

198
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:52,085
This is, uh,
Mr. Gorpley and Miss Lydia.

199
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,988
Yee, you are friend Balki?

200
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:58,759
Very, very nice.
Nice, thank you.

201
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,694
‐Thank you. Very, very sweet.
‐Oh!

202
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:01,928
Very pretty!

203
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,766
‐Thank you.
‐Does she speak any English?

204
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,067
Um, not really.

205
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,401
Oh, good.

206
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:12,105
Mrs. Bartokomous,
your son is an idiot.

207
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,941
Oh, wise guy, ’ey?

208
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,910
[grunting]

209
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:28,021
She may not speak English,
but she understands a lot.

210
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,156
Yes.

211
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,425
Come on, Sam.
I’ll take you to lunch.

212
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,995
But if anyone sees us
we are not together.

213
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,299
Cousin Larry,
I got your mail back.

214
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,267
Mama!

215
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,136
Balki, babiki.

216
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:45,238
Mama, uh, I‐I want
to show you the building.

217
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,007
‐Come on, come on.
‐Oh...

218
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,042
[speaking in Myposian]

219
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:55,481
Mama, ini ina elevator.

220
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,889
Wa! Wowww!

221
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:11,898
Housewares, notions,
ladies’ dresses going up!

222
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,034
[laughing]

223
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,002
Where do I come up with them?

224
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,771
[laughing]

225
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,075
[instrumental music]

226
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,149
Balki!

227
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,351
Cousin Larry!

228
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,920
Mrs. Cousin Larry!

229
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,557
Skinny Minny!

230
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:40,493
♪ Chain ♪

231
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,463
♪ Chain of Fools ♪

232
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,035
Oh, mama,
everything looks beautiful.

233
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,436
Thanks.

234
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,406
[sniffs]

235
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,544
Ah! Snout.

236
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,648
Would you give me your recipe?

237
00:13:01,682 --> 00:13:04,184
I hear the way to a man’s heart
is through his snout.

238
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,120
Mary Anna, come.

239
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,556
You come. Eat.

240
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:12,058
[speaks in Myposian]

241
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,960
‐Oh.
‐Yes.

242
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,929
Mmm! Mm‐hm!

243
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,131
Very nice, babiki.

244
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:21,234
‐Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
‐Very nice. Very, very nice.

245
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:22,969
‐Mm‐hmm.
‐Mmm.

246
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:26,072
‐Come over here.
‐Mmm. Mmm.

247
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,174
Mmm.

248
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,010
‐Mama...
‐Mmm.

249
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,344
Okay, alright, alright,
alright!

250
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:34,214
Why don’t, why don’t we all,
why don’t we all sit down, okay?

251
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,448
‐Take that.
‐No! No, no.

252
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,551
Mama, let’s, let’s sit down.
Let’s sit down, okay?

253
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,319
‐Here we go.
‐Balki! Balki!

254
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,121
Balki, come down!

255
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,091
[speaks in Myposian]

256
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,932
‐Balki went to get dessert.
‐Never mind.

257
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,338
Oh, there we are.

258
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,309
Okay, very nice.

259
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,951
I’ve got bad news.

260
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,554
Can you believe in a,
in a city the size of Chicago

261
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:16,356
not one single market
carries goat gut pudding?

262
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:22,028
Uh...I guess we’re stuck
with apple pie.

263
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,199
We’ll live with it.

264
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,234
Balki, sit, sit.

265
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,373
Well, it’s time for a toast.

266
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,543
What is toast?

267
00:14:36,577 --> 00:14:38,378
Signifiki clinki tinki.

268
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,580
Clinki tinki.

269
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,548
Well, go for it.

270
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:47,487
I‐I’d like to officially
welcome mama to America.

271
00:14:47,521 --> 00:14:51,925
Land of the free
...home of the Whopper.

272
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:58,231
Opto kinika chertiki cantiki

273
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,433
andro po kimiga
boing boing boing boing...

274
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,170
Cousin...

275
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,972
[laughs]

276
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,340
You’ve, uh,
you’ve‐you’ve made rather

277
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,442
a humorous linguistic error.
Um...

278
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,680
Opto kinika chertiki cantiki

279
00:15:13,714 --> 00:15:16,182
andro po kimiga
boing boing boing boing

280
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,219
means a person
who has a driver’s license.

281
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:23,489
♪ In my little deuce coupe
you don’t know what I’ve ♪

282
00:15:23,524 --> 00:15:27,393
♪ Little deuce coupe
you don’t know what I’ve got ♪

283
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,730
Thank you, mama.

284
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:30,831
Uh, what, what you
meant to say is that

285
00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:34,167
I’m going to become
an American citizen which is

286
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,670
opto politicia
certifantiki Americaniki

287
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,605
politaniki ping
pong pong pong pong...

288
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:48,148
Mama? What the biggi dealiki?

289
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,983
What the biggi dealiki?

290
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,553
[speaking in Myposian]

291
00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:57,257
Balki Americaniki politaniki?
Over my deadiki bodiki!

292
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,562
Mama’s upset.

293
00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:04,330
She, she, she thought
she was coming over here

294
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,499
to see me get
my driver’s license?

295
00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:13,740
Cousin Larry,
Balki American citizen?

296
00:16:13,774 --> 00:16:16,777
Yes, mama, he’s becoming
an‐an American citizen.

297
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,012
No more Mypiot?

298
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,380
That’s right, mama.

299
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,683
Hmm‐hmm... Hmph!

300
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,132
[dramatic music]

301
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,736
[speaking in Myposian]

302
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:53,680
[crying]

303
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,451
Okay.

304
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:01,688
What’s going on?

305
00:17:01,722 --> 00:17:06,426
Uh, cousin, she just gave me
the one thing a Myposian boy

306
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,595
never wants to get
from his mama.

307
00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:10,597
It looks like a chicken foot
with one toe missing.

308
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:15,035
It’s a chicken foot
with one toe missing.

309
00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:21,474
It’s the symbol of
a Myposian mama’s deepest grief.

310
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:24,578
Well, what is she
grieving about?

311
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,279
Well, well,
she, she always assumed

312
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,749
I would go back
to Mypos to live.

313
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:30,651
Well, Balki,
you’ll just explain to your mama

314
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:31,852
that your life is here now.

315
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,087
You’ll go back to Mypos
to visit.

316
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,656
No, cousin,
you don’t understand.

317
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:38,458
Mama has given me an ultimatum.

318
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:42,095
Either I go back to Mypos
with her, or...or, uh...

319
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,198
...I am no longer her son.

320
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,804
Balki, she can’t mean that.

321
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,106
Cousin, she gave me
the chicken foot, okay?

322
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,612
I, I have to go back to Mypos.

323
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,113
I’m gonna go upstairs
and pack.

324
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,858
(Larry)
Balki, you can’t do this!

325
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:15,428
Balki, you have got to listen
to reason.

326
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:19,633
Cousin, we’ve been over
and over and over this.

327
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,168
You can talk
until the cows buy homes

328
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,670
but it’s not
going to change anything.

329
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,740
Balki, if I just
had a chance to talk to her

330
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,374
I’m sure
I could change her mind.

331
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,544
Well, it’s too late, cousin.
She’s gone.

332
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,746
Gone?

333
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,481
W‐w‐when did she leave?

334
00:18:35,516 --> 00:18:38,752
This morning, she, she put her
red eyes on the red eye.

335
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,458
Well, Balki, I am not gonna let
you follow mama back to Mypos.

336
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,360
I mean, think of what
you’ll be giving up.

337
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,229
Uh, your job is here

338
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,698
your girlfriend is here,
your future is here!

339
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,668
I‐I cannot break her heart.

340
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,237
If I did that I‐I wouldn’t be
able to live with myself.

341
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,139
So I’m gonna, I got to go back.

342
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,892
Take care of him for me.

343
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,828
[sigh]
You’re really gonna do this,
aren’t you?

344
00:19:21,862 --> 00:19:23,797
Yes, I am.

345
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,468
I already said goodbye
to Jennifer and Mary Anne.

346
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:31,204
Please tell them that
I’m sorry I made them cry.

347
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,711
Well, I guess this is...goodbye.

348
00:19:41,782 --> 00:19:43,750
Thank you.

349
00:19:43,784 --> 00:19:45,786
Thank you for‐for everything

350
00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:47,921
that you’ve done for me
over the last five years.

351
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,926
Well, I got back
much more than I gave.

352
00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:09,876
I’ll miss you, Cousin Larry.
Don’t forget me.

353
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,220
[instrumental music]

354
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:27,994
I’m sorry about the snout.

355
00:20:28,028 --> 00:20:29,963
I‐I don’t really
have the hang of it yet.

356
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:36,469
Balki called today.

357
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:39,573
He sends his love to everyone.

358
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,609
Well, I’m glad he made it
safely back to Mypos.

359
00:20:42,643 --> 00:20:44,778
Oh, Balki made it safely
back to Mypos

360
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:47,013
but his luggage
went to Skeptos.

361
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,285
He says as soon as
he gets his clothes back

362
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,687
he’s gonna look for a job.

363
00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:58,391
My heart is breaking
into a million pieces.

364
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,529
Oh, Mary Anne, it’s okay.

365
00:21:02,563 --> 00:21:05,331
He’ll write. He’ll visit.

366
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,301
Jennifer, you are so naive.

367
00:21:11,672 --> 00:21:13,840
Alright, wait a minute.

368
00:21:13,874 --> 00:21:16,977
L‐listen to us. We’re sitting
around crying in our snout.

369
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:23,483
I should never have let him go
in the first place.

370
00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:25,586
‐I’m going to Mypos.
‐You’re what?

371
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:28,288
I’m going to Mypos and I’m
gonna bring Balki back home.

372
00:21:30,524 --> 00:21:32,959
Hello? Transcontinental Airways?

373
00:21:32,993 --> 00:21:36,062
Book me a seat
on your next flight to Mypos.

374
00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:38,832
[dramatic music]

375
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:40,801
Mypos.

376
00:21:45,038 --> 00:21:49,976
M‐Y‐P‐O‐S.

377
00:22:01,054 --> 00:22:03,724
(male narrator)
Next on "Perfect Strangers..."

378
00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:05,559
[instrumental music]

379
00:22:07,127 --> 00:22:08,829
‐Hello, Balki.
‐Hi.

380
00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:18,104
‐Mama, we have to talk.
‐Ahh! Ai, ai ai ai!

381
00:22:18,138 --> 00:22:20,941
You see this, that’s my
return ticket to Chicago.

382
00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:27,013
♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪

383
00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:29,616
By the way, you’re drinking
from the goat’s water bowl.

384
00:22:33,554 --> 00:22:35,922
[theme music]

385
00:23:03,016 --> 00:23:05,819
[music continues]