1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:04,204
[theme music]

2
00:00:11,477 --> 00:00:15,215
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

3
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,551
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

4
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,687
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

5
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:24,791
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

6
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:28,629
♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪

7
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,697
♪ Nothing’s going to stand
in my way ♪

8
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,566
♪ This flame in my heart ♪

9
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,367
♪ And a long lost friend ♪

10
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:39,405
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

11
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,475
♪ Standing tall ♪

12
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:46,212
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

13
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:49,349
♪ Rise and fall ♪

14
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,819
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

15
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,420
♪ The rain and thunder ♪

16
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,156
♪ The wind and haze ♪

17
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:59,593
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪

18
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:03,129
♪ It’s my life my dream ♪

19
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:06,600
♪ Nothing’s going to
stop me now ♪

20
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,638
[theme music]

21
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,845
[upbeat music]

22
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:30,123
Hi!

23
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:34,427
I’ve got everything
we’ll need for Thanksgiving...

24
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,732
...dinner.

25
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,168
I’ve got everything we need
for Thanksgiving dinner.

26
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:45,338
Thanksgiving dinner
is as good as cooked.

27
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:48,842
Pass the word,
I’ve got the bird.

28
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:54,280
Oh, I guess it is true,
what they say

29
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,482
Birds with no feathers
do flock together.

30
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,421
May I ask why?

31
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,624
Well, I assumed that I would
cook dinner this year.

32
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,458
It’s my first Thanksgiving
as Larry’s wife.

33
00:02:05,491 --> 00:02:07,694
And I want it to be special.

34
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,796
I’ve made Thanksgiving dinner
every single year

35
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,433
since I come to America, so,
so I just assumed that, that

36
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,702
I would,
I would make it again.

37
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,337
Well, that, that’s okay.

38
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,940
How about, how about
I’ll take Thanksgiving

39
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,408
and you take Christmas
and Mud Day?

40
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,381
Balki, we don’t celebrate
Mud Day in this country.

41
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:31,217
Well, it’s just as well.
You’d only commercialize it.

42
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:35,321
Wait a minute, I wanted to cook
Thanksgiving dinner

43
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,290
so I could prove
to a certain someone

44
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,260
what a wonderful wife
I would make.

45
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:43,229
Oh, Mary Anne,
that is great.

46
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,898
You invited someone?

47
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:52,539
You are not gonna believe
what I just did.

48
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,241
You forgot we moved and you went
back to the old apartment again?

49
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,412
Yeah, I did.

50
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:02,415
But before that, I was out
at McGregor’s Farm

51
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:03,917
and, and I was writing
a turkey story‐‐

52
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,853
Now, cousin, cousin, cousin,
you are too hard on yourself.

53
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,856
Now, Mr. Wainwright occasionally
calls your writing mediocre

54
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,391
but he has never come out

55
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,627
and called one of your
articles a turkey.

56
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,496
Well, except for that one time
but you weren’t even in the room

57
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,532
so, as far as I’m concerned,
it never happened.

58
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,938
I mean, I was writing
a story about turkeys

59
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,007
for tomorrow’s
Thanksgiving edition.

60
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,942
Well, in that case,
never mind.

61
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,880
Well, anyway, while I was
interviewing Mr. McGregor

62
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,616
he told me he was retiring

63
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:38,451
and I could take as many turkeys
as I wanted for half price.

64
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:40,987
So, having a keen eye for a
quick profit, I took ’em all.

65
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,658
How many is all?

66
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,693
Fifty‐eight.

67
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,762
Fifty‐eight turkeys?

68
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,597
They’re being unloaded in
the back yard right now.

69
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,033
[gasps]

70
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,002
Oh, cousin,
this is wonderful.

71
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:59,740
The most pets I ever had
before was seventeen.

72
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,908
No, no, these are not pets.

73
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,977
They’re an investment.

74
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,445
Well, if they’re infested

75
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,914
we cannot let them up
on the furniture.

76
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,951
Investment. Investment.

77
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,753
Larry, tomorrow is
Thanksgiving.

78
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,420
How are you gonna get rid
of all these birds?

79
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,758
And get your,
I mean our money back?

80
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,025
Very simple, I have...

81
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,293
‐Oh, God!
‐Oh, God!

82
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,928
A plan!

83
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,799
[turkeys clucking]

84
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,337
Attention last minute
shoppers

85
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,975
get your fresh turkeys.

86
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,578
Get ’em while they’re breathin’.
Get ’em while they’re gobblin’.

87
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,945
Whack ’em and sack ’em.

88
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,448
Whack ’em and sack ’em?

89
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,551
Larry, that’s disgusting.

90
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,521
If you think that’s disgusting
you don’t even wanna know

91
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,389
what they do to eggplant
on Mud Day.

92
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,465
I’m following Balki’s recipe
for stuffing

93
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:02,769
and it calls for
one pinch of GP.

94
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,939
‐What does GP stand for?
‐Probably ground pepper.

95
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,475
I’d better ask Balki.

96
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,447
‐Balki?
‐’Yeah?’

97
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,951
‐What does GP stand for?
‐Goat pancreas.

98
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,624
’But I think I used the last of
it on my breakfast cereal.’

99
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:29,095
Where am I gonna get goat
pancreas now?

100
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,631
(Larry)
’Shut the door!
Shut the door!’

101
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,102
Oh, hello turkeys.

102
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,539
Unlock the door!
Unlock the door!

103
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,473
Well, I wish
you make up your mind.

104
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,711
Come on, come on.

105
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,146
Balki! Balki, get ’em out.
Get ’em out.

106
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,413
Get ’em outta here.
Come on.

107
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:48,982
Get ’em out. Get ’em out.

108
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,551
Come here, come here, come here.

109
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,085
I got it, I got it, I got it.

110
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,555
Okay, okay. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.

111
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,857
I got it. Alright, we’re
leaving. We’re leaving.

112
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,893
Take these, take these turkeys
outta here.

113
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,095
And stop trying to put those
little pilgrim hats on ’em.

114
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,702
Well, excuse me for getting
into the spirit of the holiday.

115
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,737
How about, how about just them
little buckles on their shoes?

116
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,773
No.

117
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:13,774
How about just little
lace bibs?

118
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:18,444
No. Get out, get outta here.
Take ’em out.

119
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,514
Where’s my ring?
I, I had it right here.

120
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:24,084
It’s gone.
I’ve lost my diamond ring.

121
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,418
Well, well, don’t worry, Jen.

122
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:28,454
We, we’ll find it.

123
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:29,656
Are, are you sure
it was on the counter?

124
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,657
Yes, Larry, I’m sure.

125
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,926
Every time I cook
I take off my diamond ring

126
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,761
and I put it by
the salt and pepper shakers.

127
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,463
Salt, pepper, diamond.
Salt, pepper, diamond.

128
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:38,932
Only now it’s salt, pepper,
nothing.

129
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:45,171
No one’s been in here
but us and the turkeys.

130
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,041
Larry, if one of your
stupid birds ate my ring

131
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,143
you’ll be the one who gets
whacked and sacked.

132
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,223
[beeping]

133
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,792
[beeping]

134
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,460
[beeping]

135
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,798
[beeping]

136
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,208
Well, I’m exhausted.
We’ve been doing this all night.

137
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,711
What a lousy Thanksgiving
this is turning out to be.

138
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,113
Cousin, shhh.
She’ll hear you.

139
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,182
Balki, I don’t believe this.

140
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,251
We’ve checked every turkey
three times.

141
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,919
There’s no metal in
any of them.

142
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:36,957
Well, maybe the turkey
that took it didn’t swallow it.

143
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,559
What do you mean
"He didn’t swallow it?"

144
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,193
Well, maybe he hid it.

145
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,697
He hid it?

146
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,766
Well, cousin, eh, it’s
a well‐known fact that

147
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,835
turkeys are the practical jokers
of the farmyard.

148
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,638
And when you consider
how gullible the cows are

149
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,774
and the fact that
chickens have

150
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,809
absolutely no sense
of humor, whatsoever

151
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:58,044
well, you can imagine
how kooky things can get.

152
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,687
If any of you find
a ring out there

153
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,989
there’s extra corn
in it for you.

154
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,597
Balki, one of the turkeys
had to swallow it.

155
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,865
It’s the only thing
that makes sense.

156
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:22,769
Alright, now, Jennifer set the
ring down on the counter. Right?

157
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,171
Right.

158
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,140
Mary Anne opened the door,
the turkeys came in. Right?

159
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,676
Right.

160
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,212
And you took the turkeys back
outside and the ring was gone.

161
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,148
‐Right?
‐Right.

162
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,217
And we haven’t sold any turkeys.
Right?

163
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,059
And we haven’t sold any turkeys.
Right?

164
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,267
This is where you are supposed
to say "Right." Right?

165
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,241
I’m sorry, I,
I wasn’t paying attention.

166
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,109
Did you ask me a question?

167
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,345
Turkeys.

168
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,681
We haven’t sold any turkeys.
Right?

169
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,920
Mmm, more or less.

170
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,358
What do you mean
"More or less?"

171
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,160
Let me ask you a question.

172
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,996
Have, have you ever been
in a situation

173
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,632
where you were
given a job to do

174
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,868
and you did that job well

175
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,270
but um...you

176
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,807
you later found out
that the job you did well

177
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,309
was the wrong thing to do
even though you thought

178
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:39,980
it was the right thing
to do at the time

179
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,315
that you were doing
that good job.

180
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,819
What?

181
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,292
Have you ever been
in a situation where

182
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,727
where you were given‐‐

183
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,996
Balki!
What are you talking about?

184
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,764
‐Oh, no, no!
‐What are you talking about?

185
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,800
‐Don’t hurt me.
‐I’m not gonna hurt ya.

186
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:00,801
‐You’re not gonna hurt me?
‐I’m not gonna...

187
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,168
No, I’m not gonna hurt you.
No, of course.

188
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,269
‐No, no.
‐I’m not gonna hurt ya.

189
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,838
Come on. Come on.

190
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,106
Come on, you’re talkin’ to
Cousin Larry here.

191
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,340
Yeah, I know .

192
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,776
You can talk to
Cousin Larry, huh?

193
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,945
Just tell Cousin Larry
what you did.

194
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,249
Cousin Larry is
nice to me.

195
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,419
Yes. Yes, he is.
Yes, he is.

196
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,187
He’s, he’s just
a nice guy.

197
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,422
Oh, he sure is.

198
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:26,292
He’s a nice guy so just tell
Cousin Larry what you did.

199
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,362
I sold one of the turkeys
to the Johnsons.

200
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,164
You what?

201
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:33,299
[screaming]

202
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,901
Why would you do that?

203
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,970
Well, it kind of made
sense at the time.

204
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,072
I mean, it was
the day before Thanksgiving.

205
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,942
And, and we had dozens of
turkeys out in the backyard

206
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,277
and a sign in the front yard
that said "Turkeys for Sale"

207
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,981
I guess, I just
wasn’t thinking.

208
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,383
Balki, we have got to get that
turkey back from the Johnsons.

209
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:52,152
No problem.
I know what to do.

210
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,055
[clucking]

211
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,728
Wowww!

212
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,331
What was that?

213
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,701
That’s the sound turkeys make
when they wanna get...

214
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:13,874
...r‐romantic.

215
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,743
And it brings them
running every time.

216
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,178
I think we’re gonna see
that turkey

217
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,781
I sold to the Johnsons
any second.

218
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,049
As I recall,
not an unattractive bird.

219
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,023
No.

220
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,292
No.

221
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:36,830
By now the Johnsons’ turkey
is cooked.

222
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,032
We’re gonna have to
switch cooked turkeys.

223
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,868
Well, cousin, that’s not all
we’re gonna have to do.

224
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,770
We’re gonna have to
deal with

225
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,406
fifty seven romantic turkeys
that are headed this way.

226
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:51,377
[clucking]

227
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,722
[instrumental music]

228
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:09,495
Alright, alright. Now, remember,
let me do all the talking.

229
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:12,198
Cousin, I still think we’re
better off telling the truth.

230
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,466
What am I supposed
to say to her?

231
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,236
Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson
but your turkey swallowed

232
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:19,272
a very expensive diamond and I
would just like the opportunity

233
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,808
to rummage through the bird
in the hopes of retrieving it?

234
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,410
I’d believe it.

235
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,046
Well, I have something
else in mind.

236
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,114
Something a little
more believable.

237
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,384
I am going to tell her
that you made a tiny error

238
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,219
and sold them
a poisoned turkey

239
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:37,090
that could kill
their entire family.

240
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,026
Then we’ll exchange our bird for
their bird and be on our way.

241
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,929
It’s a whole lot simpler than
telling them the truth.

242
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:46,199
Alright, ready?
Here we go.

243
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:50,203
Cousin, you know, I, I think
it’s, I think it’s too late

244
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:54,274
to, to do your plan,
they’re already having dinner.

245
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,977
Well, if they’re already eating
the poison thing won’t work.

246
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,078
Alright, I’ll have to think
of something else.

247
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,379
Ju‐just don’t let them
see you.

248
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:02,348
Hello, Mrs. Johnson!

249
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,884
Mrs. Johnson is coming
to the door.

250
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:07,420
Well, get out of the window.

251
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,857
Mrs. Johnson likes me.

252
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:11,992
Hello, Balki.

253
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,127
‐Hello, Mrs. Johnson.
‐Oh!

254
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,830
‐Happy Thanksgiving!
‐Yes.

255
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,532
What can I do for you?

256
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:22,068
Uh, yeah, Mrs. Johnson,
we’re here, uh, because

257
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:25,872
uh, because we are a full
service turkey organization.

258
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,274
And, and, and, and, uh,
so, we’re, we’re

259
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,143
we’re here to
serve your bird.

260
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:35,181
We sell ’em, we slice ’em,
we serve ’em.

261
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,250
That’s, that’s very sweet.

262
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,219
Uh, but we already have
everything on the table.

263
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,287
Whoa, ho, ho, ho.
What about seconds?

264
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,923
What about side dishes?
What about beverages?

265
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:43,990
What about desserts?

266
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,459
What about driver’s side
air bags?

267
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,194
Just stop it.
Let me do the talking.

268
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:51,297
Let me do the talking.
Thank you very much.

269
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,334
Mrs. Johnson, we’re here
to make sure that this is

270
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,237
the best darn Thanksgiving
the Johnsons ever had.

271
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,472
Come on, Balki.
We’ve got a meal to serve.

272
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:08,048
Believe me, nobody can dish it
out like Cousin Larry.

273
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,019
Hello! Hello!

274
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,621
Don’t stand up.
Don’t stand up.

275
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,292
Have you done something
different in here?

276
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:22,563
I wouldn’t know,
I’ve never been in here.

277
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:25,966
Marion, what’s the foreign boy
from down the street doing here?

278
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,401
Well, I’m not
really sure.

279
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:32,172
Um, Larry and Balki,
this is my husband, Howard.

280
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,075
‐Hi!
‐And this is our son, Richie.

281
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:38,244
Our daughter, Joanie
and Grandpa Johnson.

282
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,180
Well, it’s a pleasure
meeting you all.

283
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,915
Why don’t you just sit down
and, uh

284
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,617
enjoy your
Thanksgiving dinner?

285
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,587
We’re here just to make your
meal a little more enjoyable.

286
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,955
Why?

287
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:52,659
Well, Howard, Thanksgiving has
always been a, a special time

288
00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:55,195
at the Appleton home
and, uh, I just thought

289
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,063
I’d like to share
that special feeling this year

290
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,464
with a few close friends.

291
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,433
What’s the Appleton home?

292
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:05,539
Well...it’s my home.
And I’m Larry Appleton.

293
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:09,242
And I’m Balki Bartokomous.

294
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:13,079
Oh, Mrs., um, Mrs. Johnson,
your stuffing looks delicious.

295
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,281
Do you use chestnuts
or walnuts?

296
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,217
Me, I use a handful
of beer nuts.

297
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,320
Uh, Balki!

298
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,655
Why, why don’t
we all just, uh

299
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,356
bow our heads for grace?

300
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:24,490
Howard, would you do
the honors?

301
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:26,326
I’ve, I’ve already said grace.

302
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,462
Oh, ha, yeah.
And I missed it.

303
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,331
And you know, it just doesn’t
feel like Thanksgiving

304
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,099
with‐without, uh,
hearing grace.

305
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:36,537
Uh, Howard, just say grace and,
and maybe they’ll go away.

306
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:41,174
Let us bow our heads.

307
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,644
Dear Lord, we thank you for
the food we are about to eat.

308
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:46,212
For the good fortune our
family’s been blessed with.

309
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,982
‐’We come together...’
‐Alright, now...

310
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:50,617
If the turkey
swallowed the...

311
00:15:50,651 --> 00:15:53,019
(Mr. Howard)
’...things easily
taken for granted’

312
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,220
’which we also
give thanks to...’

313
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,260
Alright, now listen, if the
turkey swallowed the ring

314
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,728
it would be in the gizzard.

315
00:16:01,762 --> 00:16:04,097
Now the gizzard is either
in the stuffing or in the gravy.

316
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:07,367
You check the stuffing and the
gravy. I’ll check the turkey.

317
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,402
...today and always, amen!

318
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:10,370
(all)
Amen!

319
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:14,207
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

320
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,276
I think we all have
a little more

321
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,211
to be grateful for
than that.

322
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,647
Huh?

323
00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:23,249
Y‐you know, I, I would like
to say a few words

324
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,552
so if we could just
bow our heads again.

325
00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:28,589
‐I’m hungry.
‐Me, too.

326
00:16:28,622 --> 00:16:30,624
And so are children
all over the world

327
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,092
but they have no food to eat.

328
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:38,599
Which is why we have
so much to be thankful for.

329
00:16:38,632 --> 00:16:41,535
So could we just bow our heads

330
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:45,271
and reflect on the true
meaning of this day?

331
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,108
Thanksgiving.

332
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,483
The stuffing.
Check the stuffing.

333
00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,152
The stuffing.
Shut up!

334
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,121
Thanksgiving!

335
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,791
Thanks and giving.

336
00:17:04,825 --> 00:17:07,628
What do these
two words mean?

337
00:17:07,661 --> 00:17:09,362
I know! I know!

338
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:12,432
Heads down! Heads down!
Nobody said anything.

339
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,767
Cousin, I know,
I know what they...

340
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,502
Shut up! Shut up!

341
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:18,071
Giving, giving...

342
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,573
The gravy, the gravy.

343
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,342
Giving, the‐the act of

344
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,178
imparting or bestowing.

345
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,547
That’s what I was gonna say.

346
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:27,848
Shut up!

347
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,651
Now, putting these
two words

348
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:32,152
back together...

349
00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:40,260
...we have, we have
Thanksgiving.

350
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,463
The, the bestowal
of gratitude.

351
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:47,433
Balki! Help me! Help me!

352
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:51,271
And‐and looking around
I see that we

353
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,707
we have so much
to be grateful for.

354
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:57,277
Eyes down, missy.

355
00:17:58,879 --> 00:18:01,114
Just the,
just the facts of...

356
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,816
[mumbling]

357
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:05,752
Just the fact of,
of being together

358
00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:07,888
is, is something
to be grateful for.

359
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,523
Have you finished yet?
I...

360
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,857
Oh! Oh, Howard!

361
00:18:10,891 --> 00:18:12,793
Am I taking too long

362
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:17,230
to express gratitude
to our Creator?

363
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,464
Hmm?

364
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:19,766
I mean, you know,
I could just say that

365
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,703
Howard didn’t want to
take the time

366
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:25,338
to thank the man upstairs.

367
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,610
Heads down!
Heads down!

368
00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:30,744
Thanksgiving...

369
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,546
Get it off me!
Get it off me!

370
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,516
Thanksgiving, being grateful,
grateful

371
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,184
for the air we breathe

372
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,887
for the few merciless...

373
00:18:40,921 --> 00:18:42,556
I’m throwing them out.

374
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,825
Maybe we should do
what they say.

375
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:47,327
I, I think they’re crazy.

376
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,295
[indistinct shouting]

377
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:53,634
Thankful to those for giving...

378
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,804
Cousin!
Cousin, go deep.

379
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,746
Grandpa’s choking on
the ring.

380
00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:07,347
Grandpa! Grandpa!

381
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,750
Let’s get those arms up!
Arms up! Arms up!

382
00:19:09,783 --> 00:19:12,252
[squealing]

383
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:13,486
Come on.

384
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,857
Come on, you old geezer.
Cough up the ring.

385
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,358
[groaning]

386
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:24,397
I’m not choking!
I’m not choking!

387
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:27,934
Leave my father alone
and get the hell out of here!

388
00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:29,703
[indistinct shouting]

389
00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:35,509
[instrumental music]

390
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,946
You’re welcome.
And Happy Thanksgiving.

391
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,750
Larry, it was very nice of you

392
00:19:43,784 --> 00:19:46,452
to donate those turkeys
to the homeless shelter.

393
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,855
Well, I like to do
what I can

394
00:19:48,889 --> 00:19:51,625
for the less fortunate
during the holiday season.

395
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,260
Cousin Larry’s exact words were

396
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,897
"As long as I’m stuck
with all these turkeys

397
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,733
I may as well at least
get a tax deduction out of it."

398
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,905
I, I think it would be
nice if we all just

399
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:07,307
uh, took a moment and, uh

400
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:10,611
gave thanks
for all that we have.

401
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:14,480
Oh, well, um, I’m thankful for
two of the best friends

402
00:20:14,515 --> 00:20:16,950
anyone could ever hope for.

403
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:20,787
And I’m thankful to the most
understanding husband

404
00:20:20,821 --> 00:20:23,557
in the world who didn’t get
angry with me

405
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:27,260
when I found my diamond ring
in my jewelry box.

406
00:20:31,532 --> 00:20:33,534
I’m thankful that we have
the opportunity

407
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:37,337
to share
Thanksgiving together.

408
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:41,942
Well, uh, I don’t know
where to begin.

409
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:46,412
Uh...this has been the most
wonderful year of my life.

410
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,650
And I have a lot
to be grateful for.

411
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:53,386
I’m married to the most
wonderful woman in the world

412
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,690
and I’m thankful
for our lovely home.

413
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:58,792
And the two dear friends
who share it with us.

414
00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:04,565
I’m very thankful that I’m out
of the turkey selling business.

415
00:21:07,668 --> 00:21:10,671
Although I know with a,
a little time

416
00:21:10,704 --> 00:21:14,841
and a lot more support

417
00:21:14,875 --> 00:21:16,276
I could’ve made a go of it.

418
00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:32,859
I have a lot to be
thankful for.

419
00:21:32,893 --> 00:21:36,329
I’m celebrating my first
truly American holiday

420
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,899
as an American citizen,
and, um...

421
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:44,037
I want to thank Mary Anne

422
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:46,740
Cousin Jennifer

423
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,742
and Cousin Larry

424
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:51,444
for all of their
love and support.

425
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:56,482
And uh...
I want to thank the Johnsons

426
00:21:56,517 --> 00:21:57,984
for not calling the police

427
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:04,658
even though Grandpa Johnson
wanted to press charges.

428
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:11,464
Let’s eat.

429
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:14,635
Now, who had
the Salisbury steak.

430
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:16,537
I did.

431
00:22:16,570 --> 00:22:19,606
And the cheese enchilada?
Yeah, over there.

432
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,508
I’ve got the lasagna.

433
00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:23,910
Cousin, a hungry man for you.

434
00:22:31,752 --> 00:22:34,688
[theme music]

435
00:22:51,772 --> 00:22:54,708
[music continues]