["Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now" by David Pomeranz]
♪ Sometimes the world looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just get a feeling ♪
♪ Like you need some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what the odds are this time ♪
♪ Nothing’s gonna stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart like a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street a light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪
♪ The rain and thunder ♪
♪ The wind and haze ♪
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ It’s my life and my dream ♪
♪ Nothing’s gonna stop me now ♪
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
(Balki) ’Listen, Mary Anne and I have’
’decided to join together in holy macaroni!’
‐Congratulations! ‐Yeah.
It’s, it’s official. Mary Anne and I are getting marri‐yed.
[laughing]
Oh, Mary Anne! I’m so happy for you!
I’m so happy for me, too!
Well, let’s take a load off.
Yeah...I gotta tell ya.
It‐it was a humongous mistake breaking up.
Mary Anne is‐is‐is everything that‐that
I’ve been looking for my whole life.
Well, that is great! Now, we’re gonna have a lot to do, Jen.
I’m thinking...July wedding? How’s that hit everybody?
It’ll be a lot of pressure, but I think we can do it, Larry.
We’re getting marri‐yed tomorrow.
‐Tomorrow? ‐Tomorrow?
You can’t get married tomorrow!
Cousin, you don’t understand. Tell them, pumpkin.
There’s a sacred Myposian tradition that says
"Once a couple announces their engagement
they must get married within 24 hours."
And what happens to you if you wait any longer than that?
All of your children are born with hooves.
That’s right.
Nothing is simple with you Mypiots, is it?
If you’re getting married tomorrow, we have a lot to do!
Well, yeah, if we’re gonna have a Myposian wedding...
uh‐uh, don’t we, don’t we need, uh, jugglers? Livestock?
A‐a wedding hat of some kind?
Well, cousin, we’ll have all that
when we go to Mypos for our...honeymoon.
But, uh, for this ceremony, all I need is a shine on my shoes
and my Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
A Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille?
Yeah, the Myposian marri‐yage necklace.
‐Myposian marriage necklace? ‐Tell them, pumpkin.
It’s been a part of the Myposian marriage ceremony for centuries.
And what happens to your marri‐yage if you don’t have it?
‐Your marriage is doomed. ‐That’s right.
W‐well, that’s very nice, but there is no way
we’re gonna get a Myposian marriage necklace
all the way from Mypos by tomorrow.
Cousin, you don’t understand! Tell them, pumpkin.
When a Myposian boy comes of age he’s given the necklace.
The Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
What he said.
Whenever the moment is right
he wants to be prepared, so he carries
the necklace with him wherever he goes.
Except, of course when he’s...
‐In the shower. ‐In the shower.
[laughing]
You know, if‐if we are going to have a wedding tomorrow
we are all gonna have to help.
Alright, now, I’m gonna need pencil, paper
and a phone book. Okay.
Well, I need a dress and some flowers.
Dress and some flowers, okay. Let’s see, let’s see.
Oh, I know a great dress shop downtown
and my friend Barbara is a florist.
I can take care of all that.
Okay, what else?
Well, uh, we need someone to marry us.
Somebody to marry you! Okay. Let’s see, let’s see.
Oh, my father knows a minister.
I’m sure he could marry you tomorrow!
‐Ooh! ‐Yeah.
Okay, Jen, you take care of that, too.
And we need a church, a reception hall and a band.
Okay, let’s see! Let’s see.
We can use Chapel by the Shore, the Beekman Hotel.
And Barbara’s husband is a rock promoter.
He can get a great band!
‐Oh. ‐We have a lot to do.
Come on, Mary Anne, let’s go upstairs
and start making some calls.
Okay.
[giggles]
[gasps] Ooh!
[sighs] Well, I‐I guess I’d better get off and get my shoes shined.
Uh, which shoes do you think I should wear?
‐Oh, well‐‐ ‐Well, uh, you’re right!
I’ll just shine them all!
Oh, cousin, cousin, you want to come? You want to come with me?
No, you‐you just, uh... You go along.
I’m sure you’re‐you’re much too busy
to drag along somebody who’s got, uh...nothing to do.
‐Okay. ‐Well, you know, hey!
Hey! It’s‐it’s not the first time, you know.
I‐I remember that, uh, Christmas when I was, uh...
seven, and, uh, uh, nobody in my family remembered to wake me up.
[chuckles]
Yeah, you know, but don’t worry. Don’t worry.
[chuckling] I’ll just be on the sidelines
on the most important day of your life.
Yeah, it’s okay.
You know, I’m not the kind of guy who’s easily hurt.
I’m tough.
Glad to hear it. See ya later!
♪ You’d better watch out You’d better not cry ♪
♪ You’d better not pout I’m tell... ♪
[sobs]
You’re really dying for something to do, aren’t you?
Please, give me something to do. Please, please.
Don’t open the presents without me.
Cousin, I had something for you to do all along.
I‐I just should have asked you earlier.
Cousin, will you be my piggliwiggliki?
What is a piggliwiggliki?
Well, it’s similar to what Americans call a best man.
Ah, Balki, I would be honored to be your piggliwiggliki!
Okay, now, gotta line up tuxedos, gotta write a speech‐‐
‐Cousin‐‐ ‐Gotta, uh, the rings.
‐Cousin... ‐The wedding presents‐‐
Cousin...
Anything else I should be doing?
Uh, n‐n‐no, cousin.
All the piggliwiggliki does is
is walk the groom up the aisle.
Well, what else does the piggliwiggliki do?
Diddly squatiki.
♪ You better watch out You better not... ♪
Wait a minute! Wait, wait, wait!
No, that‐that’s all he does at the ceremony.
But before the ceremony, he has a very important role to play.
Which is?
Guardian of the Myposian marri‐yage necklace.
The Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
Yeah, why don’t we go, why don’t we go with that?
Guardian of the marriage necklace? I can do that!
Alright, goody, goody, we’ll go with that.
Opening that was a lot messier before I glued them down.
Cousin...this is the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
It is placed around both the bride and the groom
at the ceremony before they exchange their vows.
It symbolizes their, their unity...their oneness.
The merging of their souls.
So‐so‐so the marriage necklace is‐is‐is important?
Very, very important.
And that is why
from the moment his marri‐yage is announced
no Mypiot boy ever lets it out of his sight!
What?
Except to give to the guardian
of the marri‐yage necklace.
So, uh, so I’ll be giving this to you now.
I’ll‐I’ll just, I’ll just...
Is‐isn’t there some ritual we should be performing?
‐No. ‐No?
No, I mean, yes! Yes, of course!
There’s‐there’s the‐the ritual of
the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
And, uh...
♪ Mish mikki muck muck much ♪
♪ Mi mishni hah hah hah mi mukni muff muff muff ♪
♪ And a minki minki minki ♪
♪ Da hoonti lass dibu da binki lass dubu to minka ♪
♪ Hoy hoy vermink nicht muff Ha! ♪
[instrumental music]
Come on, Balki! I’ve gotta get you to the church on time!
Cousin, have you got the rings?
Have I got the rings? Of course, I’ve got the rings.
‐Here they are. ‐Okay.
And what about the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille?
Of course, I have the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
How could you doubt that I would fulfill
my responsibility as the piggliwiggliki?
When Larry Appleton is given a job to do, that job gets done.
I thought that went without saying, but I guess I was wrong.
I’m sorry, cousin, you are, you are the best
piggliwiggliki in the whole world.
I knew how much the marriage necklace meant to you
so I found the perfect place to keep it.
‐Give me the box! ‐No. No!
I am the piggliwiggliki, and it is my responsibility.
I will hold on to the box.
Wild horses couldn’t take this box from me!
You’ve lost it, haven’t you?
[crying] Yes, I swear, it was here.
I swear, it was here.
Can I still be the piggliwiggliki? Ow.
[instrumental music]
(Balki) ’Well, this is just great.’
’You’ve lost the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille!’
I said it was gone! I didn’t say it was lost!
‐It’s in the house somewhere. ‐Where is it? Where is it?
I just don’t know where that somewhere is at the moment.
Look‐look‐look, come, come on, come on. We’ll find it.
We’ll find it, but we have to calm down.
Huh? Can you do that for me? Huh? Can you promise?
Just promise me you’ll calm down.
If you can promise me that we will find
the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
I promise.
Then I‐I promise I’ll try to calm down.
[exhales sharply]
Ow! God.
Oh!
Ah!
You big babasticki! You little creep!
‐I’m gonna kill you! ‐Find the necklace!
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Come on now! Come on!
[wailing]
You know what’s great about this?
You’re gonna have a story to tell your kids
about how you and I frantically searched
for the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille
on your wedding day.
[chuckles]
[gagging]
That Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille
has been in the Bartokomous family for centuries!
You are in charge of it for one day, and what happens?
It’s gone.
Now what do you propose we do?
We’ll find the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille!
I’ve got it!
Here! Alright, alright. Alright! Now I remember!
I had the necklace when I was here.
And then I went into the kitchen
I grabbed an orange.
I came back in here, I peeled the orange
and I was on my way back into the kitchen
to throw away the orange peels when I saw that pot!
So I threw the orange peels away
and I put the necklace in here.
But don’t worry!
Because we can get the necklace out of the trash!
Would that be the same trash they picked up today?
Yes, that would be the same trash, but‐don’t‐no‐no...
Because there’s a silver lining, because the dump
is on the way to the church! Isn’t that great?
[instrumental music]
We’re never gonna find it. I’m sorry I ruined everything.
Cousin, don’t‐don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault.
It’s my fault, I never should have made you
the guardian of the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
Well, you had to, it’s the piggliwiggliki’s job.
No, it isn’t.
What do you mean, "No, it isn’t?"
You, you said it was the piggliwiggliki’s job
to‐to be the guardian of the Myposian marriage necklace.
We even did a‐a‐a little ritual, r‐remember?
♪ Yo hoingi boingi in yo hoingi boingi out... ♪
Cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin..
That was no, that was no ritual.
That was just the "Hokey Pokey" with some
pseudo‐Myposian gibberish.
I...I‐I‐I felt so bad for you.
You wanted so badly to have something to do.
So I invented the fact that the piggliwiggliki
gets to be the guardian of the necklace.
He don’t do that.
The‐the translation of piggliwiggliki is just
"He who walks the groom up the aisle
and then does absolutely nothing."
[instrumental music]
Well, I‐I just wanted to play a big part in your wedding.
Cousin, you are playing a big part in my wedding.
Just by standing next to me. You’re my best friend.
Yeah?
I mean, I mean, who else would be sitting next to me
in gar‐baaj dressed in a tuxedo?
Of course, it’s your fault we’re sitting in gar‐baaj.
[sighs]
Cousin, cousin, do you still get catalogs
from the "Step Up Here, Little Man" clothing store?
Yeah, but I’m their tallest customer.
This is your catalog, and that must mean
that this is our gar‐baaj!
Cousin, look! Look! Look, cousin!
Here is last night’s dinner.
Goat spleen surprise!
It’s covered with egg shells.
Why didn’t I think of that?
Well, never mind that.
Balki! Here’s the sweater I gave Jennifer for her birthday!
She said she lost it on a flight to Costa Rica.
Balki! I think I see it!
Cousin! Cousin!
You‐you found the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille!
And now as soon as we hose this off
I can get marri‐yed and live happily ever after!
Oh, cousin! Now we are so happy we do the "Dance of Joy!"
♪ Da‐e‐da‐e da‐e‐da‐e da‐da da‐da dada‐da‐e ♪
♪ Hey oh ♪
♪ Hey hey ♪
[instrumental music]
Uh, there’s going to be a slight delay.
We have that pesky little problem of no groom.
[dogs barking]
[organ music]
Let’s go.
[music continues]
Cousin, don’t Mary Anne look beautiful?
She sure does, Balki.
Balki Bartokomous, you went to the dump without me!
What happened to you?
Good news, Jen, I found the sweater
you thought you lost in Costa Rica!
Friends, relatives, we are gathered here today
to join these two in holy matrimony.
The bride and groom would like to exchange vows
they’ve written themselves.
Cousin, may I have the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille?
This is the Bitatatoutata Ratatatouille.
The Myposian marri‐yage necklace.
It, it represents...our unity.
We are now joined together like
sand in an hourglass.
Mary Anne, these are the days of our lives.
The ring, please.
This is a pop top.
Here’s the ring.
[instrumental music]
Balki, from the moment I met you
I knew you were the man I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with.
This ring is a symbol of my promise to always love you.
I hope you’ll wear it forever, but I’ll understand
if you take it off if you go someplace with high humidity
and your fingers swell up like mine do.
Anyway, here.
Wow, she made that up all by herself.
Mary Anne, the day that I come to America
was the happiest day of my life.
But now that I know that I’ll be spending the rest of my life
with you, this is the new happiest day of my life.
For, for my vows I would like to quote
the lyrics from the song that was playing
the night that Mary Anne and I fell in love.
"There she was...
"...just a‐walkin’ down the street...
"...singin’ doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy do.
"She looked good...
"...she looked fine...
and, and I nearly lost my mind."
[music continues]
That was beautiful, Balki.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
W‐wow!
[organ music]
[dogs barking]
[instrumental music]
Well, right about now Balki and Mary Anne’s plane
should be landing in Athens.
Two hours on a small plane, six more hours on a fishing boat
a 11‐mile hike, and they’ll be at Balki’s house.
It’s hard to believe they’re finally married.
"It’s hard to believe they’re finally married?"
It’s hard to believe that‐that we have the house to ourselves.
At least for three weeks.
You know what else is hard to believe?
What’s that?
That in seven and a half months you’re going to be a daddy.
That’s nice.
‐A, a daddy? ‐Yes, a daddy.
Oh! Really? Oh! Oh!
[instrumental music]
[theme music]