1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:05,200 MUSIC: Birdhouse In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,480 # Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,720 # Who watches over you? 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,320 # Make a little birdhouse in your soul 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,600 # Not to put too fine a point on it 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,120 # Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet 7 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,480 # Make a little birdhouse in your soul... # 8 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,080 What were these called? 9 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,120 Hold on... 10 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,600 They Might Be Giants. 11 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,960 They Might Be Giants! 12 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,520 I thought this was the Muppets. 13 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,640 - Really? - No, seriously. 14 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,200 - Thick as pig shit. - John! 15 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,400 # Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch 16 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,840 # Who watches over you? 17 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,360 # Make a little birdhouse in your soul 18 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,400 # Not to put too fine a point on it 19 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,640 # Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet 20 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,520 # Make a little birdhouse in your soul 21 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,320 # While you're at... Light switch! 22 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,680 # Who watches over... # You go the fast bit, and I'll... 23 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,120 # ...in your soul 24 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,720 # Not to put too fine a point on it 25 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,400 # Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet 26 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,240 # Make a little birdhouse in your soul. # 27 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,160 - RADIO: - 'They Might Be Giants on Forever FM, playing timeless hits 28 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,320 - 'now and forever. Right...' - Belter! 29 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:11,480 'Now for Who's In The Toaster?, our legendary breakfast quiz. 30 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,480 'We've put a famous celebrity in the toaster, 31 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,760 'you have to guess who it is.' 32 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,680 Did you pick your mum up last night? 33 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,600 Oh, what a fiasco that were! Plane was delayed for two hours, 34 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,840 and after all that I was at the wrong terminal. 35 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,440 We didn't get to hers until 11 o'clock, and then I had to go 36 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,960 back out to the Co-op Late shop because I'd not got her any bits in. 37 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,240 Bits? 38 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,080 You know, bread and milk and stuff. 39 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,680 Anyway, looks well - I spend all me day in a supermarket 40 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,400 and then I'm in Co-op Late shop at midnight buying bloody bits. 41 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,400 Why didn't you just pick them up in work? 42 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:39,520 Cos I've not got the time, 43 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,400 I had to pick her up from airport, didn't I? 44 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,320 Why didn't your Paul just go and get her? 45 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:46,720 Cos our Sophie were getting a badge from Beavers or something. 46 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,680 Oh, I used to love Beavers. 47 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,600 Anyway, how was your make-up party? 48 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,800 Virgin Vie? 49 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,280 It's next Monday, I got my weeks wrong. 50 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,080 I just went dogging instead. 51 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,640 - Come again? - Eh? - What? 52 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,160 Virgin Vie, it's next Monday. 53 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,000 Bugger the Virgin Vie, you went dogging? 54 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,520 Yeah, went with Ken, me neighbour. 55 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,200 There was nothing on telly so we just went up the back field. 56 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,800 - Dogging? - Yeah. 57 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,880 As in...dogging? 58 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,440 - Yeah, dogging. - Well... 59 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,120 Well, you've opened my eyes. 60 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,440 - What do you mean? - You went dogging? 61 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,640 Yes! 62 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,200 And who's this Ken fella? 63 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,200 Ken, me next door neighbour. 64 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,880 He's in his eighties now, but he's very active. 65 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,520 Sounds like it. 66 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,400 Beautiful blue eyes. 67 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,920 I mean, that's the glaucoma. 68 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,000 I have to link him through the woods. 69 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,360 Bet you do. 70 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,640 Dirty old bastard. 71 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,520 What?! What's your problem? 72 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,560 Nowt. 73 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,200 It is a shame for him though, 74 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,600 he usually takes Maggie, but she's on her last legs. 75 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,000 - Who's Maggie? - His cocker. 76 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,240 A cocker? 77 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,480 - Spaniel. - A dog? 78 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,000 Well, what else? 79 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,720 So dogging is with a dog? 80 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,160 Are you slow, John? 81 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,320 Of course dogging's with a dog, what else would dogging be? 82 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,240 So you didn't have sex outdoors with people watching? 83 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,480 Are you out of your...? What?! 84 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,880 Why are you asking that?! 85 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,880 Sex? Ugh... 86 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,480 - You are sick, John! Sick! - Why? You said you went dogging outdoors, 87 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,200 - what am I supposed to think? - In the park! With my dog! 88 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,840 Dogging with my dog. Misty. 89 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,320 So you go dog walking, you don't go dogging. 90 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,880 Well, it's the same thing. 91 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,760 They're not the same thing! Are they hellers the same thing, they're a million miles apart! 92 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,160 - Where've you been living - on the moon? - Dog walkers are doggers. 93 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,680 I've even got a car sticker that says, "Dogging's for life not just for Christmas". 94 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,400 People are always beeping. 95 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,680 I bet they are. I bloody bet they are. 96 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,680 Dogging is people outside, usually in a car, 97 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,960 having sex with bored people watching. 98 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,000 Ugh! 99 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,560 - Where's the dog? - What dog? 100 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,120 Where's the dog in your dogging? 101 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,840 I don't know! I... 102 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,880 - I don't think there is a dog. - Well, why's it called dogging? 103 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,800 I don't know, but I'm telling you, dogging is not walking with dogs. 104 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,520 You're winding me up! 105 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,880 Ask anybody. 106 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,720 Do you know what, I bloody well will. 107 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,000 Telling you. 108 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,440 MUSIC: Ignition (Remix) by R Kelly 109 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,440 Nice to have the morning off, isn't it? 110 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,800 Yeah. Yeah, it is... God bless Old Ted. 111 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,560 - I can't believe he's gone. - I know. Madness isn't it? 112 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,320 It's so sad. Won't feel the same without seeing him in his hi-vis jacket, 113 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,120 steering his trolleys round the car park. 114 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,440 You know, he'd been collecting trolleys at our store since 1982? 115 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:31,200 - That's dedication. We didn't open until 1990. - Really? 116 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,360 Diane off non-food's got her facts wrong. 117 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,080 Nothing new there, then. 118 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,480 He's from Nigeria, you know. 119 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,200 - Oh, was he? - Straight up, youngest of 12. 120 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,440 Aw. 121 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,960 Came over here in the '60s, apparently. 122 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,960 - He were a champion trampolinist. - Was he? 123 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,720 Trampolinist? Trampo... 124 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,720 - Trampo...lina? What do they call it? - Trampoliner? 125 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,320 - Trampoliner? - I think that's if you're a woman. 126 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:56,720 I don't know. 127 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,720 Yeah, he'd bounce for hours. 128 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,080 World-class. 129 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,400 Remember he had that fundraiser in the car park for Help The Heroes.. 130 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,080 - I don't remember that. - You do. 131 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,680 - He put us all to shame. - He was fit for his age. 132 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,360 Aye, he were, yeah. 133 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,320 He'd give your neighbour Ken a run for his money. 134 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,840 - Bloody dogging, indeed. - You're wrong. 135 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,920 - I'm telling you. - You're wrong. 136 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,080 I'm so right. 137 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,040 MUSIC: Turn Back The Clock by Johnny Hates Jazz 138 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,600 See, Ted was too energetic for his own good. That were his problem. 139 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,000 I still can't believe he tried to snake 26 trolleys, 140 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,600 - everyone knows the maximum's 20! - Well, you said that. 141 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,680 - I've always said that. - Yeah. 142 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,960 Pushed his luck. 143 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,320 Mind of their own when there's that many. 144 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,120 - Poor old Ted. - It's a bloody tragedy. 145 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,400 Awful. 146 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,520 He's still got my shovel. 147 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:51,840 Just forget it. 148 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,840 Bloody good snow shovel, that. 149 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,800 You won't be saying that if we get snowed in. 150 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,600 Well, it's the middle of summer. 151 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,880 Wonder what the etiquette is, asking a widow for a snow shovel back? 152 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,440 You are joking me. 153 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,040 I'm just saying... 154 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,840 Wonder what song he'll have? 155 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:18,000 - When? - Old Ted at the crematorium, as his send-off? 156 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,920 Jump Around? 157 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,240 Don't. 158 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,000 Don't! 159 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,600 - Poor Ted. - World-class trampolinist. 160 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,640 What are you going to have at your funeral? 161 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,960 Bit of a morbid question. 162 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,480 Well? 163 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,280 Er...thinking. 164 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,960 This. 165 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,400 SHE LAUGHS 166 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,080 I don't know! 167 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,040 Don't tell me you've not thought about this? 168 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,400 - Have I balls! Why would I think about that? I'm 39. - And? 169 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,520 - He could come at any time, John. - Who? Who could come? 170 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,280 - The Grim Reaper. - Oh, well. Bollocks to him. 171 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:08,400 Anyway, I'll be dead by then so it won't matter what they play. 172 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,320 Of course it matters, you want a good send-off, don't you? 173 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,840 I don't know. 174 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:16,280 Owt mellow. Something by Kenny G or... 175 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,200 - Enya. - Ugh, Enya? 176 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,600 I love a bit of Enya. 177 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,520 Hot bath, some candles... 178 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,240 - We had a girl at our school called Sarah Way... - ..bit of Enya. 179 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,440 ..we used to sing Enya to her. 180 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,120 # Sarah Way, Sarah Way, Sarah Way. # 181 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,360 Oh - Sail Away, Sarah Way... 182 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,480 She's a desk sergeant now, in the police. 183 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,280 I love that Sarah Way song. 184 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,960 Orinoco Flow, that. '88. 185 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,280 First number one, that, only number one. 186 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,120 Too jolly for a funeral, that. 187 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,080 - You need summat much slower. - It's your funeral. 188 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,520 You've got me thinking now. 189 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,040 Hmm. 190 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,240 Do you want to know what I'd have? 191 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,840 What would you have? 192 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,440 Well... 193 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,480 ..for my entrance song, I'm going to have the instrumental version 194 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,640 to My Heart Will Go On, off the Titanic soundtrack. 195 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,800 Proper weepy. And it's really good to slow walk in to. 196 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,040 - Get the whole audience wailing... - Congregation. 197 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,120 - Yep. They'll all be... - A bit of respect. 198 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,560 They'll all be crying their eyes out at this, proper emotional! 199 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,960 I fancy having a few poems in there, somewhere. 200 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,720 I have always fancied someone reading out the words to S-Club 7, Reach. 201 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,640 Reach for the stars? That's a bit chipper for a funeral, isn't it? 202 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,760 They won't be singing it, just reading the words out. 203 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,960 "When the world leaves you feeling blue 204 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,840 "You can count on me I will be there for you." 205 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,400 How? You're dead. 206 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,480 Well, I'll be speaking to everyone from heaven. 207 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,960 "When it seems all your hopes and dreams 208 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,760 "Are a million miles away 209 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,480 "I will re-assure you." 210 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,400 What are you on about? 211 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,880 "Reach for the stars Climb every mountain higher 212 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:58,640 "Reach for the stars Follow your heart's desire 213 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,480 "Reach for the stars 214 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,440 "And when that rainbow's shining over you 215 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,000 "That's when all your dreams will come true." 216 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,480 And I'm the rainbow. 217 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,440 So, whenever anyone sees a rainbow, they'll be thinking of me. 218 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,120 I'm feeling emotional. 219 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,720 That is hardcore, Kayleigh. 220 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,560 - You've really given this some thought, haven't you? - I have. 221 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,000 You've got to. 222 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,400 I've also asked me Auntie Annie to play White Flag on the clarinet. 223 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,960 - Dido? - Of course. 224 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,560 - Then, for the finale... - There's more? 225 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,960 Oh, yes. 226 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,760 They're going to play my favourite song. 227 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,440 Take That, Never Forget. 228 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,520 See what I'm doing? See what I'm doing? 229 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,880 So, it's just going to play as the curtains shut. 230 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,320 - I take it you're being cremated? - Oh, yeah. 231 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,320 I don't want to wake up dead. Scratching on the lid. 232 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,960 So Take That's coming on, curtains are shut. 233 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,520 All the trumpets at the beginning, dead dramatic. 234 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,160 It's coming to the chorus, 235 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,520 and everyone's going to be, like, nodding 236 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,920 and they'll be crying but it'll be like a happy, smiley, cry-ey... 237 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,600 - Cry-ey? - You know what I mean. 238 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,520 And I wouldn't even object if a few people start doing the whole 239 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,640 # Neeeever, forget... # 240 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,880 You're actually looking forward to your funeral. 241 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,840 Well, It should be a celebration. 242 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,920 Why don't you go the whole hog and have a conga? 243 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,360 That's just ridiculous. 244 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,160 '..famous around the world for his martial arts films, 245 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,640 'We were after Pat Moriarty! 246 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:35,040 'The actor who played Mr Miyagi, of course, in the Karate Kid films...' 247 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,880 MUSIC: Ordinary World by Duran Duran 248 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,680 Me dad wanted Three Steps To Heaven, Eddie Cochran, when he died. 249 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,040 They brought his coffin into church... 250 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,520 Your dad's dead? 251 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,600 Yeah. 252 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,320 But you talk about him all the time. 253 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,000 When did he die? 254 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,520 Just before Christmas. 255 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,840 Sorry. I never knew. 256 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,280 I were off work for a month. You signed my sympathy card. 257 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,480 Oh, yeah. 258 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,200 Yeah, I remember now. 259 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,080 It must have been an awful time. 260 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,800 It was all right. He'd been ill for ages. 261 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,000 Why do people always say it's all right when... 262 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,640 it isn't all right? 263 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,240 He'd been ill for ages, but it was still shit when it happened. 264 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,920 What was he ill with? 265 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,440 Everything. 266 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,400 You know what I hated? 267 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,720 Organising stuff. 268 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,320 The responsibility, and... 269 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,960 I organised my grandma's funeral through work when she died. 270 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,040 I couldn't believe they did funerals. They do everything now. 271 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,320 Yeah, Cath Hilton sorted it all out for us. 272 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,880 Me mum got the reward points. 273 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,720 She got herself a new sun lounger. 274 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,360 Every cloud. 275 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,840 Sorry, go on. You were talking about your dad. 276 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,560 It's all right. 277 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,600 The world just doesn't stop turning cos somebody dies, love. 278 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,280 I know you might want it to, but it doesn't. 279 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,360 Give over, will you? 280 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,120 - Bloody dogging! - Wrong! 281 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,640 I'm not wrong. 282 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,840 Go on, tell me about your dad's song. 283 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,880 Yeah. He said he wanted Three Steps To Heaven, Eddie Cochran, 284 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,880 when we carried him into the church, 285 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,320 so I gave it to them on a CD. 286 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,200 Double CD, I'd just bought it him for Christmas. 287 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,440 Hits Of The '60s. 288 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,120 I labelled it up for them to play, 289 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,040 and as we came marching in through the door, they played Dizzy. 290 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,560 Rascal? 291 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,600 No - Dizzy, Tommy Roe. 292 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,800 I don't know it. 293 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:34,000 You do. # Dizzy, my head is spinning 294 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,520 # Like a whirlpool... # 295 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,040 Put the wrong disc on. 296 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,920 It was track nine, disc two. Arseholes. 297 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,120 - What did you do? - We all had to shuffle back out with the coffin. 298 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,400 - Moment was ruined. - That's awful! - I know, 299 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,120 couldn't have picked a happier song. 300 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,480 '..point nine magnitude quake hit just after 4am, 301 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,480 'its epicentre is believed to be around the Carlisle area, 302 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,400 'but it was reported across Cumbria, Lancashire, and even as far away 303 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,520 'as South Cheshire. Forever FM news...' 304 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,680 This is all a bit much, isn't it? 305 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,360 Having a funeral service in a supermarket. 306 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,480 I think it's nice. 307 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,120 He'd have loved all this. 308 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,080 - Should be in work. - I wish we'd gone the crematorium now. 309 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,520 I can't, I've too much to do, they've got me working 310 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,960 on a new trolley safety policy now, after what happened last week. 311 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:25,040 Should've got a pound to split them trolleys. 312 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,680 'Golden Hour, with hits and headlines from our chosen year. 313 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,840 'This morning, it's the year Tom Hanks bagged 314 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,720 'his second Oscar for Forrest Gump, 315 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,000 'and Scottish band Stiltskin were riding high at the top of the charts 316 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,840 'with this rock classic. But what was the year?' 317 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,560 1994. 318 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,120 That's clever. 319 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,680 So who's going to be collecting trolleys now then? 320 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,280 Barbara Bask's eldest lad. 321 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,120 He's home from uni for the summer. 322 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,480 Well, whoever he is, he'll never replace Old Ted. 323 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,920 'The Forever FM Golden Hour.' 324 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,720 MUSIC: Inside by Stiltskin 325 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,840 Oooh. 326 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,680 Then again... 327 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,760 He's shot up, hasn't he? 328 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,800 Hasn't he just? 329 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,520 Right, come on. Work 330 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,640 - HE TURNS OFF RADIO OK. - Come on! 331 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,520 Goodnight, ladies. 332 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,000 - Who you looking for? - No-one. 333 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,360 That bleach heavy, is it? 334 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,640 I don't know what you're talking about. 335 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,120 I'll get rid of this then. 336 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,440 Bloody bleach, you must think I'm daft. 337 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,240 That's who you were looking for. 338 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,960 - What? - Him! Ted's replacement. 339 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:25,000 MUSIC: All Rise by Blue 340 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,880 That's outrageous! 341 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,120 Where's his tie? 342 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,680 It's too hot to be wearing a tie, John. 343 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,640 Oh, aye? I bet he'd like an older woman. 344 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,480 What are they called...cougars. 345 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,800 - I don't what you're papping on about, John. - I bet you don't. 346 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,680 I am a cougar. 347 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,720 Rarr! 348 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,680 'It is Forever FM with a Big Drive Home.' 349 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,720 Did you see they had to remove all the flowers from the scene 350 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,240 - of Ted's accident in the car park? - Yeah. 351 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,320 - People kept taking them to the check-outs trying to buy them! - I know. 352 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,520 What idiot picks up a wreath that clearly spells the name Ted 353 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,840 and thinks it's on sale? 354 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,640 Well, you say that, 355 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,560 but Joyce Chung on checkouts rang through for a price check. 356 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,840 - You're joking. - Nobody could find the price, 357 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,840 - so they put it through as cress. - Cress? 358 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:20,920 Nuts! 359 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,160 'A Bambers' Sausage is a sausage the whole family can enjoy. 360 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,560 'Made with all our own natural ingredients. 361 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,200 'So you know exactly what you're getting. 362 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,200 'Give your mouth a treat, try some of Ken's meat. 363 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,680 - 'Ken Bambers...' - That's just out-and-out porn. 364 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,360 '..the home of the Old English Sausage. 365 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,320 'Always and forever, 366 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,840 'this is the station with the timeless hits.' 367 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,200 'Timeless hits. Forever FM.' 368 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,960 MUSIC: True Colours by Cyndi Lauper 369 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,080 # You with the sad eyes 370 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:10,880 # Don't be discouraged Oh, I realise 371 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,040 # It's hard to take courage 372 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,840 # In a world full of people 373 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,920 # You can lose sight of it all 374 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,800 # And the darkness inside you 375 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,600 # Can make you feel so small 376 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:28,080 # But I see your true colours 377 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,000 # Shining through 378 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,800 # I see your true colours 379 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,280 # And that's why I love you 380 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:41,480 # So don't be afraid to let them show 381 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,480 # Your true colours 382 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:50,320 # True colours are beautiful 383 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,160 # Like a rainbow. # 384 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,640 - You're quiet for a change. Oi! - Hmm? 385 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,520 I say, you're quiet for a change. 386 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,360 Just thinking... 387 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,680 About what? 388 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,880 About Old Ted. 389 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,920 - Not new Ted? - No. 390 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,600 Old Ted. 391 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,440 Been thinking about it all day. Do you think he was happy? 392 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,160 Happy in what way? 393 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,480 With his life, at the end? 394 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,840 You mean right at the end? 395 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,880 - When the trolleys went... - No, I mean with his life! 396 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,040 Who knows? 397 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,200 He seemed happy, he had everything, you know... 398 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,880 Good job, lovely wife. 399 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,920 - My snow shovel... - John. 400 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,080 I'd only used it twice. It still had its tag on. 401 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,360 Anyway...we'll never know will we? 402 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,680 He seemed happy, but who knows what goes though people's minds? 403 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:50,840 He was happy that day 404 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,880 when he was bouncing on that trampoline for Help The Heroes. 405 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,640 Yeah, but you said he had everything you need to be happy. 406 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,320 Yeah, and your point is what? 407 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,720 Well, are you happy? 408 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,800 Are YOU happy? Cos you're acting weird. 409 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,840 I mean, I love me job, but do you ever fancy 410 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,760 chucking it all in and going backpacking? 411 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,520 Are you on glue? 412 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,280 I'm being serious! 413 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,840 - I don't need this on a Tuesday. - John... 414 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,000 - What? - Do you not? - Do I not what? 415 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,080 Fancy just getting away from it all? 416 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,760 - Why, are you offering? - No. 417 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,680 I'm asking you because you said Ted had everything he needed to be happy. 418 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,280 A good job, a lovely wife... 419 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,600 I haven't got anybody. 420 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,120 I've got an amazing family, I've got great friends, 421 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:39,400 I go out and have a laugh and that, but all I've ever wanted 422 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,400 is just to meet the man of me dreams and have babies. 423 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,520 Yeah, but that's why you're trying to find someone. 424 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,160 Giving this online dating a whirl. 425 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,640 That's a good thing, yeah? 426 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,240 But when? 427 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,280 Look, if it's meant to be, it'll be. 428 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,520 What about you? You can't be happy on your own. 429 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,440 Jesus. Well, I were until you pointed it out. 430 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,480 Sorry. 431 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,640 I've always been happy on me own. 432 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,240 But you must get lonely. 433 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,520 Never. Honestly. 434 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,960 Not everybody needs somebody to be with, you know. 435 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,080 I do. 436 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,600 Happiness, for me, is about enjoying the odd good time 437 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,920 rather than expecting one constant party in life. 438 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,840 Accept your limitations and you can't go wrong, that's my advice. 439 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,800 That can't be right. 440 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,440 Works for me. 441 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,360 But you must want a bit of love in your life? 442 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,720 Look, women come and women go. 443 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,800 # And when the rain washes you clean, you'll know. # 444 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,320 - Kind of. - I love The Corrs. You never hear from them now, do you? 445 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,520 The Corrs? Wash your mouth out! That's Fleetwood Mac. 446 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,800 What? Dream's The Corrs that! 447 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,240 They covered it, badly I might add. That were Fleetwood Mac, originally. 448 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,120 Oh, I'd rather jack. 449 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:01,800 Bet you would. 450 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,320 Rumours? You ever heard Rumours? 451 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:05,720 - What? - What?! 452 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,920 Rumours is one of the best albums in the whole wide world! 453 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,840 - Never even heard of it. - Excuse me? 454 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,400 You've never heard of Rumours? Oh, you'll love it. 455 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,680 I'll burn you a copy. Tonight. 456 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,560 One of my all-time favourite albums. 457 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,800 Mine's Now 48. 458 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,640 - Now 48?! - They're all on it, all me faves... 459 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,800 S-Club 7, Steps, Samantha Mumba, Shaggy! 460 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,920 - It wasn't me. - No. No, I'm sorry. 461 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,160 - You can't have a Now album as your favourite album. - Why not? 462 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,880 Cos you can't have a compilation. 463 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,320 I can have what I want, John. 464 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,720 I love it, reminds me of the summer I worked in River Island. 465 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,120 Well... 466 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,600 'You're listening to the Big Big Drive Home with Andy. 467 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,960 'Just reading a report out today that says more UK children have pets 468 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,880 'than ever before, with apparently one in three households 469 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,480 'providing a home to either a dog or a cat.' 470 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,960 Did you ever have any pets when you were growing up? 471 00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,840 Fish. 472 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,720 Everyone had fish. You used to win them at summer fairs. 473 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,480 - They don't allow that now... - I know, that's wrong, though, cos they're always half dead. 474 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,680 Bounce a ping pong ball into a jar and win a goldfish. 475 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,120 My grandad cooked our fish. 476 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:14,840 We went to Pwllheli and he left it on the thermostat and boiled the frigger. 477 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,520 Did you have any other pets? 478 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,520 Erm... Had a dog. 479 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,240 What happened to it? 480 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,840 Some other dogs attacked it. It were awful. 481 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,400 One of the dogs... 482 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,680 (bit its dick off...) 483 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,080 WHAT?! 484 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,000 Well, I looked down and it only had half a dick. 485 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,920 That's like a sex attack! 486 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,200 Awful. And then it looked up... at me and Paul, 487 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,160 and then just...died. 488 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,160 So I rang my mate Dave up, he come up, 489 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:49,440 and we put it in a Walkers crisps box and took it to the pet cemetery. 490 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,520 £8.50 it were. Or two for 15 quid. 491 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:57,800 - Lovely dog. - Did you find out who the owners were of the other dogs? 492 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,760 No, bastards. But it would hump anything with a pulse. 493 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,160 It would walk silhouetted across the room like that. 494 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,560 To the theme from Quantum Leap. 495 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,760 With its hand like that? 496 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,280 Its paw. I'm driving a car! 497 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,760 Its paws! Paws up... 498 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,080 Why? 499 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,640 - Why?! - And it were fruity, with its lipstick out. 500 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,120 When it still had one. 501 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,040 They're all right, pets, 502 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,080 but it's just the looking after them, isn't it, really? 503 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,200 How do you get on with Misty, being at work all day? 504 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,560 She's a house dog. She's very lazy. 505 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,400 Ken nips round at lunch time. 506 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,560 Why, has he got a key? 507 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,600 - Yeah. - You've given him a key to your house? - Yeah. 508 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,400 - Why? - In emergencies! 509 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,640 He nips in at lunchtime, lets her out the back. 510 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,040 She has a little run round. 511 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,760 Sometimes, if he's going for a walk, he'll take her with him. 512 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,680 You're very trusting, giving him a key. 513 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,480 It's Ken, what's he going to do? 514 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,240 - Dance around with your knickers on his head. - Ugh. 515 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,720 You're bad-minded, John, that's your problem. 516 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,200 Leave a camera set up, you'll soon find out. 517 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,320 Yes, we will soon find out. 518 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,920 Never mind You've Been Framed, it'll be Ken Goes Dogging. 519 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,080 - Right, pull over now. - What? 520 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,440 Just pull over here, quick. 521 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,200 Why, what's up? Oh, come on, I was only having a laugh. 522 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:16,720 Excuse me? 523 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,120 Yeah, you - excuse me, have you got a minute? 524 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,160 Do you know him? 525 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,440 - Who is he? - Hello! 526 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:26,040 You're beautiful, aren't you? You out with your daddy? 527 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,280 You're beautiful. How old is she? 528 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,840 - She's just six months. - Aw! 529 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,720 Bloody handful, I can tell you. 530 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,960 - Aw! Listen, would you mind settling an argument for us? - Go on. 531 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,400 Would you describe yourself as a dogger? 532 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,160 Oh, sorry bud. She don't mean any offence. 533 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,040 - Don't listen to her... - Is this a wind-up? - No, not at all. 534 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:47,680 - Oh, God. - So why do you ask? Are you both, um...doggers? 535 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,840 Well, I am. He just thinks I'm just some kind of weirdo. 536 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,920 Most natural thing in the world! I've done it for years. 537 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,560 - How I met the wife. - Aw! 538 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,040 - See? - And where do you... Where do you do your dogging, mate? 539 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,560 To be honest, best place I've found - 540 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,200 - industrial estate, after dark. - Oh, right? 541 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,360 - You need to keep your wits about you. - Yeah, yeah. 542 00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:10,320 Why? You...looking for a mate to go dogging with? 543 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,320 Me and the wife would love the company. 544 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,160 Yeah, I don't see why not. That'd be lovely. 545 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,120 See, told you. 546 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,560 He doesn't understand the joys of dogging. 547 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,520 He's clearly never fucked in front of a crowd, has he, flower? 548 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:23,960 Right, drive on. 549 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,200 Drive on, John! John, drive, drive, drive! 550 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,360 '..Street in Ashton. That's still closed due to accident. 551 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,440 - 'Avoid the area if you can...' - Are you OK? 552 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,000 World's gone mad. 553 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,720 '..call us on the Forever FM Jam Line, it's 08081 570 555.' 554 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:48,200 'Forever FM, traffic and travel. With BrighterDayCareers.co.uk.' 555 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,400 Oh, I forgot to tell you - 556 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,080 Dave Thomson and the team were happy 557 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,800 - with me plans for the new trolley regulations. - Great. 558 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,640 They were particularly fond of the name I suggested. 559 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,440 Oh, yeah? What was it? 560 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,160 Trolley Education. 561 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,840 Or just plain old TED for short. 562 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,080 That's so lovely. 563 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,520 He'd love that. 564 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,920 MUSIC: I Believe In You by Kylie Minogue 565 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,280 Are you out tonight? 566 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,360 No. I'm back round my mum's again 567 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,880 Are you keeping her company more since your dad. 568 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,760 No, I'm power washing her stone cladding. 569 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,320 - After I've taken her to Zumba. - Oh, where does she go? 570 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:50,240 Church hall, Prestolee, near the crematorium. 571 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,840 Oh, she wants to try Shabam. 572 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,920 It's the new Zumba. Works every muscle group. 573 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,760 She can come with me. St Michael's Primary, every Tuesday. 574 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,760 - Don't, you'll make me yawn. - How much? 575 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,120 £3.50, but they test your cholesterol as well. 576 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,360 - Who does? - Shirley's husband. 577 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:07,760 Is he trained? 578 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,760 Well, he got a pack from Flora a couple of years back, he uses that. 579 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,480 - Oh, ey up, you're wanted here. - Oh, it's Ken from next door. 580 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,600 - You're shitting me. - Don't say anything to him. Don't say anything... 581 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,600 - Hiya, Ken! - Hiya, Kayleigh, love. 582 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,920 - This is John, from work. - Oh, hiya, John! 583 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,440 - Come in, why don't you? Come in! - This is Ken. 584 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,960 You've a grip there, eh? I bet you need that. 585 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,880 Kayleigh, do you fancy going dogging again, after Corrie? 586 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,920 - Are you all right? - She just told me a joke, buddy. 587 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:38,320 I'll tell you it later, Ken. 588 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,080 I think we need to have a little chat, Kenneth, all right? 589 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,120 OK, I'll come out now, Ken. 590 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:47,360 OK. 591 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:51,400 - I'll leave that one with you, Kayleigh. - Shut up. Shut up. 592 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,720 - I'll see you in the morning. - See you tomorrow. - Yes. 593 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,280 Woof! 594 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,040 Get in there, Ken! 595 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,560 Whoo! "Since when?" 596 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:11,400 # And I believe in you 597 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,800 # I believe in you 598 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,400 # I believe in 599 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,640 # I believe in you 600 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,360 # I believe in 601 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,680 # I believe in you 602 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,520 # I believe in 603 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,880 # I believe in you 604 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,360 # I believe in 605 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,400 # I believe, I believe, I believe 606 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,640 # In you. #