1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:09,040 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:31,240 An ice cream van trundles its tuneful way along a British street. 3 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,880 ICE CREAM VAN MUSIC PLAYS 4 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,120 Is this once familiar sight in danger of extinction? 5 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,880 Has the ice age had its day? 6 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,040 Are ice cream men now dinosaurs 7 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,560 roaming desolate streets in search of man? 8 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,920 Out the way, move out the way! 9 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,640 BANG, SMASH 10 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,160 That weren't my fault, you should have moved! 11 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,680 I bet you think those girls are gorgeous. 12 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,720 Oh, there is only one lady in my life. 13 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,080 - But what if you could go out with any girl in the world? - I love you. 14 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,760 I'm offering you Kelly Brook on a plate here! 15 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,880 - Not interested. - Tess Daly. - No. 16 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,280 I won't get upset, it's only a game. 17 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,280 Claire from work. 18 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,800 BACKGROUND MUSIC STOPS 19 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,240 HE MUTTERS CONTENTEDLY 20 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,840 HE SIGHS 21 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,200 Oh, aye. 22 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:27,840 APPLAUSE 23 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,960 My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, what's all that about? 24 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,240 LAUGHTER 25 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,240 I cant watch it for people texting me. 26 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,360 "Get this on, Jesus Christ, oh, my God, 27 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,320 "are you watching this? Turn it on." 28 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,080 POSH NARRATOR'S VOICE: "The boys go to the Appleby Fair 29 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,400 "to try and find love." 30 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,160 TRAVELLER ACCENT: "Well, we go up to the Appleby Fair, like, 31 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:51,040 "and we see a girl and we grab them, we grab them." 32 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,080 "You grab them? What do you mean, you grab them?" 33 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,000 - "Well, you know, we - BLEEP - chin them, like, and that's love." 34 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,200 Oh, yeah, that's romance, that(!) 35 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,840 "There's one over there..." Face pixelled out. 36 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,640 "I think I'll have that one there." 37 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,120 "Come on, I'll grab you, come on, come on! 38 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:09,280 "Grab them, come on! Come on, you're mine! Grab them!" 39 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,480 Bang! Like that. "She loves me." 40 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,520 LAUGHTER 41 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,960 "How did you get on?" "I grabbed three, winded one, punched two." 42 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,920 "Do you respect women?" "Well, you know.... You know." 43 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,480 That's Bess with t'dresses. 44 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,120 "I've been making dresses for the travelling community 20 years 45 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,320 "and I don't reveal my prices. 46 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,920 "Look at little Roisin, she has drawn her dress 47 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:41,160 "for her Holy Communion in pink crayon." 48 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,080 She looks like a pink meringue! 49 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,160 "The dress weighs more than Roisin, she's five." 50 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,400 HE BREATHES RASPINGLY 51 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,120 "I'm a princess, I'm a princess." 52 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,920 AS NARRATOR: "They get back to the caravan and take the dress off." 53 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,720 "Oh, my God. All your skin's come off your back, Roisin. 54 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,080 "All your skin's come off your back! 55 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,280 "Get the Vaseline, get the Vaseline." 56 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,920 Robert Edge is Mr Softy Top. 57 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,840 On the streets of Bolton, where he has been dispensing 58 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,320 ice cream for most of his life, he is known as Softy. 59 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,280 The arse has fallen out of this business. 60 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,560 Nobody wants ice creaming any more. 61 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,120 Today it's all bloody Ben & Jerry and Haagen-Dazs. 62 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,560 Who in their right mind would want to queue for a cornet 63 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,400 in the piss rain when they can get one out the Spar any time they like? 64 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:52,160 You're joking, he is power-mad, wants to destroy us. 65 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,840 I used to have a boss, supervisor, just like Lard, 66 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,520 when I worked at Walkers. Right piece of work. 67 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,440 We had all booked to go on a Christmas meal, 68 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,560 me and a few of the lads. 69 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,120 We got a coach to pick as up from the Albion, three-course meal, 70 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:10,360 all-in, coffee, mints, cheeseboard, disco after, dancing. 71 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,920 PETER BEGINS TO LAUGH 72 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,120 - Anyway... - OTHERS BURST OUT LAUGHING 73 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,560 Cut. Cut! 74 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:26,840 - ON TV: - '..reserve, and dignity, and modesty, as she is...' 75 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,720 Here he is, right on time. 76 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,680 Oh, I wouldn't have worn that white bowtie. 77 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,200 - Does he know it clashes? - And that stick. What's that stick for? 78 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,960 Look at Harry. Stand up straight, boy! 79 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,240 - Walk straight. - Walk straight, Harry. 80 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,160 Stooped when he walks, he's got to be moon-shouldered. 81 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,040 He's shitting or what, that lad. 82 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,360 - Here she is. - Oh, look at Kate. - Oh, that's lovely, that. 83 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,360 You know what it's like? A fairytale. 84 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,480 It is. They will love this in America. 85 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,360 What do you reckon - nine, ten grand, this cost? 86 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,000 HE LAUGHS 87 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,720 - Oh... - Look at that. 88 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,120 It's nice, that. 89 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,880 - You getting emotional? - I am. I'm getting emotional. 90 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,160 - I never knew you were a royalist. - I'm not, it's just nice! 91 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,280 TRIUMPHANT FANFARE 92 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,880 "Please welcome Diversity!" 93 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,000 THEY LAUGH 94 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:48,640 She signs the registrar and then Seal is doing a song. 95 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,480 You're lying. Seal! 96 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:57,160 Kiss from a Rose. Kiss from a Rose, from Batman, he is singing. 97 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,160 OTHER MAN LAUGHS 98 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,560 Look at 'em. YAWNING: Love's young dream. 99 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,400 - Oh, what? - His father's Errol Brown, from Hot Chocolate, that fella. 100 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:16,520 # Strong deliverer, strong deliverer... # 101 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,160 I don't mind Camilla. I feel sorry for her. 102 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:29,200 # Be thou still, my strength and shield... # 103 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,400 - Coming out now. - Here we go. - Oh. 104 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,400 Leave it there, that's all right. That's fine, mate. 105 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,840 Here, quick, grab Philip. 106 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,240 APPLAUSE 107 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,320 CROWD ROARS 108 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,080 LAUGHTER 109 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,200 Did you watch the wedding? 110 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,720 - AUDIENCE: - Yes! 111 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,520 Wasn't it absolutely beautiful? 112 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,880 Lovely bridesmaids, lovely dress. 113 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,480 Lovely cake shaped like a horse and carriage. 114 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,360 LAUGHTER 115 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,400 I'm not talking about the royal wedding, 116 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,840 I'm talking about My Big Fat Gypsy Royal Wedding, 117 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,720 that's what I'm talking about! 118 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,120 Hey, I bet Kate Middleton were kicking herself that she 119 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,440 didn't have her wedding reception in a dog shelter. 120 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,240 I tell you that now. Oh-ho-ho. 121 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,080 Did you see that? Them girls. 122 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,360 TRAVELLER ACCENT: "I want those, take the cats and dogs off the windows. 123 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,520 "Take the cats and dogs off the windows, they're tacky. 124 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,480 "It's tacky. I want a 20ft love heart... 125 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,960 "with our initials in the middle." 126 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,360 No, that's not tacky, is it, love(?) 127 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,080 And that dress! She couldn't get down 128 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,760 - the - BLEEP - aisle in it, honest to God! 129 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,280 " # Make me a channel of your peace...# " 130 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,560 Boom-boom-boom. 131 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,040 " # It is in pardoning... # " 132 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,800 Boom-boom-boom. "Sorry, sorry." 133 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,800 Dragging all t'benches with her! 134 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:02,960 " # All that I am... # " 135 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,200 Boom-boom-boom. 136 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,400 "It's disco time and the younger generation 137 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,960 "of the travelling community hit the dance floor." 138 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,640 LAUGHTER 139 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:17,440 13-year-old girl in G-string and bra, like that. 140 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,680 "There's one there, grab her, grab her! 141 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,440 "Come on, grab her. There she is, grab her, get her. 142 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,240 "Grab her, come here! 143 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,160 "Come here! 144 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,840 "Love you." 145 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,080 Who said romance were dead? 146 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,400 Times are hard for Softy Top and, these days, 147 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,880 he will stop at nothing to make ends meet. 148 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,200 I can't believe you're doing this again. 149 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,400 Simmer. Where there's tragedy, there's trade. 150 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,640 I've got some respect, I've not got me chimes on, have I? 151 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,360 Eh? Life, young Darren, is risk. 152 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,720 Come on, we might shift some of these flakes. 153 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,680 Get your hand off there. What do you want? 154 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,840 - Can I have two Wispas...? - Can't park here, mate. 155 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,880 - What? Two Wispas, Darren. - You can't park here, mate. - Why? 156 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,400 Why? You're at the scene of an accident. 157 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,040 - That's me house, I live there. - Aye, and I'm Bob Carolgees. 158 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,280 Now, come on, get it shifted. 159 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,880 Thanks very much(!) Right, what do you want? 160 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,640 - Can I have a funny face? - Oi! - What? 161 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,400 - What have I told you? - If I don't sell ice creams, I don't pay taxes. 162 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,440 If I don't pay taxes, you don't get a wage. 163 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,080 You're out of a job - it's simple. 164 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,440 This is a police state, this. 165 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,240 I'm glad you're here, you have another Rodney King on your hands. 166 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,520 Zip it, mouth! 167 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,760 Zip it. 168 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,280 Little bit of mist is going to roll in from the Irish Sea, as 169 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,040 we head towards the early hours of the morning, and I am smiling 170 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,200 - because you know what's going to happen. - LAUGHTER 171 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,880 Overnight temperatures... 172 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,520 Roasting, it's absolutely.... 173 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,000 It's muggy, it's very close, very clammy tonight. 174 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,080 Say what you see for tomorrow. 175 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,720 Manchester, 3 in Ramsbottom and 1 in Liverpool. 176 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,000 Well, that's the wind. 177 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,280 - Oh, that's the wind. - Sunshine. - Sunshine is 6. 178 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,680 No, no, that's the wind again. 179 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,400 - Oh. - But this is the sunshine. - There you go. - That is the story. 180 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,120 - That's where we live. - Yep. 181 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,520 It's going to be dry and fine all the way through. 182 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,200 Top temperature tomorrow afternoon, wait for it - 183 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,440 - 27, which is what? - Woo! 184 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,920 Which is what? 185 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,080 It's three times that, innit? And something else. 186 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,440 80. Well done. 187 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,080 80! Oh, there'll be no Arctic roll left in Asda. 188 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,840 - LAUGHING: - Back to you. - Well done. 189 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,520 Anyway, he said we couldn't go, just like that. 190 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,600 Said we had to clock off at our normal time. 191 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,200 He knew we'd had it booked for months an' all. 192 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,520 Made us clock off at our normal time. 193 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,600 ALL LAUGH 194 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,880 If you don't like those charts, 195 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,680 this might be the one that you like... 196 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,040 SHE SNIGGERS 197 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,840 You can see that the warm air is moving out of the way, 198 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:57,360 and the cool air is coming back in, so that makes more sense too. 199 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,440 Hi! It's roasting, Diane! 200 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,160 - Well, you just do it then. - It's roasting outside! 201 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,240 - You know... - Everybody is so happy. 202 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,080 ..I am going to come to one of your concerts and... 203 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:13,360 Climb on your knees. God love Dianne Oxberry, God love her. 204 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:17,760 - Mmm. You've made it sunshine for everybody. - I have, for once. 205 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,440 He wouldn't let us clock off early. 206 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,200 He knew we'd had it booked, for months, 207 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,600 and he made us clock off at our normal time. 208 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,480 I used to have a supervisor just like Lard 209 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,200 when I worked at sup... When I worked at Walkers, supervisor. 210 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,800 - Sorry. - LAUGHTER 211 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,960 I used to have a supervisor just like Lar... 212 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,240 HE LAUGHS 213 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,320 I'm really sorry, I can't help it, they were laughing. 214 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,920 This is funny, this. 215 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,120 In the dressing room. 216 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,960 An act come in, I was sharing a dressing room with this act. 217 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,200 And he come in and put his bag in front of t'heater, 218 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,640 little heater on t'wall. 219 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,080 And this is where I got the idea for Brian from, this. 220 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,520 And it blew back, this heater. 221 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,320 There was a guy singing, welder by day, Neil Diamond by night, 222 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,800 you know? And he's singing... 223 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,160 # Don't go changing to try... # 224 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,000 I'll stand up for this, can I? 225 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,520 - Do you mind? - No, no. 226 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,400 I'll go here cos you won't see. 227 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,600 LAUGHTER 228 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,480 # Don't go changing to try and please me 229 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,000 # You never... # 230 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,440 I'm in t'dressing room. 231 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:29,640 He puts his bag down and heat blows back - bang - all the lights go. 232 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,560 You could hear the compere, he runs down - "What have you done?!" 233 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,840 He said, "You've put your bag in front of the heater. 234 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,320 "You've blown the lights, you've blown the lights!" 235 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,160 And he ran on stage, grabbed the microphone off the singer 236 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,240 and went, "Marion? Marion? Are them cash tills still on, there? 237 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,000 "Are they still on?" She went, "Yeah!" He went, "Right." 238 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,800 That's all he were bothered about - money. 239 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,120 LAUGHTER 240 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,920 Threw it back to this guy, he went... 241 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,000 # I need to know that you will always... # 242 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,800 - He didn't miss a beat! - Brilliant. 243 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,760 God love him. 244 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,400 Me father was a great ice cream man. 245 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,280 I'm good, but he were great, you know? 246 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,600 He knew all about tradition. He'd be out all weathers - 247 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,080 rain, hail, snow - 248 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,520 it never bothered him. Everybody loved him. Very sad when he died. 249 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,520 What do you think made him so special? 250 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,520 Well, for a kickoff, he actually liked kids. 251 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,560 - And you don't? - No. No. 252 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:27,440 They make this job a misery, kids, bane of my life. 253 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,120 Know what they used to do to me dad? 254 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,480 They used to slap the back of his ice cream van, right, 255 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,240 and then lay down in the road. 256 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,880 He'd brake, thinking he'd hit them, 257 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,160 they'd be lying there pretending to be in agony, 258 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,120 he'd be handing them free Mini Milks through the serving hatch. 259 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,880 They did that to him for years. 260 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,240 He fell for it every time. 261 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,600 That were his problem - lovely man, soft as shite. 262 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,400 They won't do that to me though. 263 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,320 I hear a bang on the back of the van and I see 'em 264 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,200 lying in the street, I tell you something, they better get the power 265 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,720 back in their legs before I reverse 266 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,800 or it'll be bye-bye Sunday football. Bastards. 267 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,400 LAUGHTER 268 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,080 I'll tell you another one. 269 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,080 I used to be an usher, £2.40 an hour and all the sweets I could eat. 270 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,800 I used to tell people endings of films as they were coming in. 271 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,480 I'd say, "There you go." 272 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,800 I used to rip tickets and thread them through a needle. 273 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,080 Had to go on a course. 274 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,760 And I'd tell them endings of films, I'd say, 275 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,840 "There you go, two for six cence. 276 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,320 "Didn't think Bruce Willis would be a ghost. Enjoy the film." 277 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:32,040 But once we had a guy come in, one Saturday afternoon, he had a... 278 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,400 God love him, he came in and said, 279 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,160 "I don't feel very well. I think I'm going to have a fit." 280 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,040 And I went, "Oh, God, oh, God." 281 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,080 And he came in, we put him in t'corner and he lay down, 282 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,400 they went and got the manager, and the projectionist Alan - 283 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,040 he were in the job club. 284 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,840 He were the only partially-sighted dwarf projectionist 285 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:54,200 I ever met in me life - he had a pair of binoculars and a stool. 286 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:57,800 Oh, he were a diamond. 287 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,840 They went and got him, they came down and saw to this man, 288 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,280 put him in the recovery position. 289 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,200 What are you doing to this poor man? 290 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,200 No, I'm telling him, now, listen... 291 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,920 And then, we had 200 kids in Toy Story. 292 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,760 So I said, "What are we going to do? 293 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:14,160 "Cos if they pile out and see him here, there will be pandomonium." 294 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:20,080 They had rang for t'ambulance. So the manager said, "Get that!" 295 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:24,000 And it were a 6ft cardboard cutout of Flipper. 296 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,360 And they carried it over and sat it in front of him. 297 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,600 All the kids come out, you know, and I said, 298 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,440 "Oh, God, you can't do that. That's awful." 299 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:40,160 And t'paramedics came and said, "Where is he?" I said, "Over there. 300 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,360 "Behind Flipper." You could just see his head. 301 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,400 - So... Oh, no. - We shouldn't... 302 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,800 No, you shouldn't laugh at it. 303 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:52,080 - We're not laughing at him. - We're not. - We're laughing at Flipper. 304 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,760 Flipper. 305 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,600 Don't look at anybody else. 306 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,960 JUSTIN SNIGGERS 307 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,440 Shut up, for fu... 308 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,440 - Action. - Three-course meal, all-in. 309 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,880 Cheese...board, coffee... 310 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,760 OTHERS LAUGH 311 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:18,040 All right, come on. Come on now, this is it. 312 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,080 Action. 313 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,240 - Well, what are we going to do? - I don't know. 314 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,720 HIS VOICE WAVERS 315 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,560 HIGH-PITCHED LAUGH 316 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,320 I'm all right. 317 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,040 - You know Joyce Chung on checkouts? - Husband's a wrestler. 318 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:42,560 - Well, she says he is. Have you seen him? - Yeah. - He's massive. - Huge, sumo. 319 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,400 Is he a sumo wrestler? 320 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,400 Yeah, of course. Have you seen the size of him? 321 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,160 I've never seen in his costume. 322 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,200 I've not seen in his costume but I know he's a sumo wrestler. 323 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,360 - Built like a brick shithouse. - Anyway, I've got a bit of a problem. 324 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,160 I really need to book the second week of September off... 325 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,560 - Yeah? - ..Joyce Chung's already got it off. 326 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:06,720 - Yeah? - It's really, really vital that I have that week off. - Why? 327 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:11,240 Well, I've told her I'm having an ingrown toenail taken out, 328 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,560 but I'm actually going to Corfu. 329 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,560 - You've told who this? - Joyce Chung, she won't swap with me. 330 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,160 Is there anything you can do? 331 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,800 I have nothing to do with holidays and admin and all that. 332 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,800 - What are you asking me for? - Well, you're pally-pally with HR. 333 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,000 What do you mean, I'm pally-pally? I'm, I don't... 334 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,480 deal with holidays and all that. 335 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,840 Speak to Cath Hilton, she'll sort you out. 336 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,080 - Well, I've asked Cath Hilton. - And what'd she say? 337 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,120 Well, she quizzed me a bit because I used that excuse last year. 338 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,960 Ho-ho! There you go. This is your lies tripping you up. 339 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,200 - I've told you about this before. - I know. 340 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,920 Well, at first I said thrush and she just gave me some yoghurt. 341 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,800 Why would you do that?! 342 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,360 She caught me on the hop! 343 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:54,440 - What are you hopping around with thrush for? - Oh, please. 344 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,560 - Please what?! - I've booked it, I can't get out of it now. 345 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,280 - Who's ever had a week off for thrush? - What would you say? 346 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,520 - I wouldn't say thrush. - What would you say? 347 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,520 - I wouldn't lie, for a kickoff. - Well, I had to lie 348 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,800 cos I'd already booked the holiday before checking the rota. 349 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,560 What does Joyce want it off for? 350 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:12,880 SHE SIGHS 351 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,520 She's going back to Japan - her mum's just died. 352 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:22,040 - Oh, well, something and nothing, innit? - Exactly. 353 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,800 - I'll lose £175 deposit. - She's lost her mam. 354 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,120 Well, she's still going to be dead the third week of September. 355 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,000 You can't say that, for the love of Jesus! 356 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,240 - She will be, won't she? - You've no comparison there. 357 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,960 You've got a family funeral... 358 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,400 Well, if I don't have this holiday this year, I can't go again. 359 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,800 Why not, why can't you go? Sunny weather in November, December. 360 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,240 Because it's the only week I can get to go with our Mandy. 361 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,280 Don't you think I deserve it? 362 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,720 I think I deserve a bloody holiday after driving you in every day. 363 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,080 If you get me the week off, you can come with me. 364 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,320 - I don't want to go to Corfu. - Why?! 365 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,120 They don't have toilets, just have holes in t'floor. 366 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:04,840 - It's not 1956, John. - That's what they have. - Have you been to Greece? 367 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,040 - I know what goes on in Corfu. - That doesn't happen any more. 368 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,960 They don't have a proper drainage system. 369 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,760 I know, but it doesn't matter... 370 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,760 Who wants to squat over a hole? 371 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,400 You don't squat over a hole, 372 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,720 - you just have to put your tissue in the bin. - Eugh. 373 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,560 Which I don't do. I break the rules, put it down the toilet. 374 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,000 I don't care if it blocks. 375 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,360 What kind of an all-inclusive holiday you've got to 376 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,640 put your bloody shit rags in a bin? 377 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,960 I love the Greek people. 378 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,320 - Yamas. - Same to you. 379 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,720 I don't believe it. I've made a tenner today. 380 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,840 I've paid out more than I've made. It's on its arse, this business. 381 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,200 I tell you, if it weren't for videos, I wouldn't make any money. 382 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,440 - Videos? - Videos. I rent out videos. 383 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,360 You mean like a mobile video library? 384 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:53,120 - Yeah, kind of. Only they're not... - Pornos. 385 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:56,560 They're not pornos, they're...adult art. 386 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,440 Adult art of a variety. I get them from a bloke 387 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,640 in the Smoked Cherry. It's all good... 388 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,440 Good stuff, you know, quality gear, hot stuff. 389 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,960 - That's why he keeps it in the fridge, you know. - Very funny. 390 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,720 - What do you think about it, Darren? - Me? 391 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,480 Whatever floats your boat, innit? 392 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,640 It took me a while to get me head round it at first, 393 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,440 when I had customers coming up and asking for, like, big feasts 394 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,880 and strawberry splits and screwballs. 395 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,080 I didn't know if they wanted porn films 396 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,560 - or something to suck on. - Or both. 397 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,040 Eh? They're all good though, they're always out. 398 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,520 Beverly Hills Cock. 399 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,040 Eh, Shaving Private Ryan. 400 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,000 Forrest Dump, everyone's a winner, you know? 401 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,880 Very popular with the gents. 402 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,560 Stops them attacking women and keeps me in wafers. 403 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,080 CHEERING 404 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,800 - What would you like to drink? - What's that blue stuff? - It is... 405 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,080 Al's... Al-eyes... What's that? 406 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,080 - Alize. - Alize? - Yeah. 407 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,880 - Can I have a bit of that, please? - Course you can, sir. 408 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,840 Bloody hell, this chair's a bit dicky. Like Barbarella, here. 409 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,880 Hang on. 410 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,040 - There you go. - Oh, thank you. 411 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,000 So, I believe you've got a new DVD out. 412 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,920 - That's right. - You did your own... 413 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,120 Shite. You did your own... 414 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,720 LAUGHTER 415 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,560 - You did your own tour yourself, didn't you? - Mmm. 416 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,320 LAUGHTER 417 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,720 Yeah, that's right. Watch out! 418 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,680 AUDIENCE SCREAMS 419 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,720 ALAN LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY 420 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,040 APPLAUSE 421 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,360 DROWNED OUT BY LAUGHTER 422 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,880 ALAN SHOUTS IN HIGH PITCH 423 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,440 It's that chair! 424 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,920 - What did you do? - What can you do? 425 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,120 We didn't go, we lost... 426 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,640 LAUGHING: Come on. 427 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,680 God. 428 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:53,960 Action. 429 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,080 PETER GIGGLES 430 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,080 Look at the floor, don't look at me. 431 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,960 JUSTIN LAUGHS UNDER HIS BREATH 432 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,720 - OK, and... - PETER GIGGLES 433 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,360 All right, OK. 434 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,400 And action. 435 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,000 Well, one of those... 436 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,040 Softy decides that now is the time to unleash his secret weapon. 437 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,960 Double cones. Eh? 438 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,080 "Look, kids, double cones. Twice the ice for half the price." 439 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,080 MUSIC: I'm Your Man by Wham! 440 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:40,400 The popularity of Softy's double scoop cone has created a problem. 441 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,120 - Ice cream. - Fridge, where do you think? 442 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,760 We've hardly any left. 443 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:49,600 - Plenty left, there. - He's running out of ice cream twice as fast. 444 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,800 - Got raspberry. - Boxes full of videos. 445 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,000 Serve these, will you? Serve these. 446 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,680 Hurry up. 447 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,920 No ice cream. We've only got one tub left. Jesus wept. 448 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,320 Well, I just told you that. 449 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,160 You'll have to go to the shop. 450 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,680 Quiet, act your age. 451 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,000 - Go to t'shop. - What do you want? - Take a 20. 452 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,040 - Six vanilla and get some flakes and all, please. - How many? - 15. 453 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:18,720 No, 20, get 20. 454 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,040 Get a receipt and all. Hurry up, hurry up! 455 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,840 437, take 12. 456 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,600 And action. 457 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:37,080 - What did you do? - What can you do? Couldn't go, didn't go. 458 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,360 We lost our deposit. 459 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,160 Mr Softy Top has been reduced to rationing the ice cream 460 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,880 - and there's still no sign of Darren. - Put some ice cream in! 461 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,880 Hey, don't start getting like that with me, love, you've got the same 462 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,600 - as everybody else! - Well, I'd like some ice cream with me cornet. 463 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,560 There's enough there, why'd you want more? 464 00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,800 No-one else has complained. 465 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,040 Hey, you're dripping raspberry all over me counter. 466 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,240 - State of this. - Don't touch that. - He's only looking. 467 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,040 You look with your eyes, not your hands. That's why it's on a chain. 468 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,640 There's more raspberry than ice cream! I want me money back! 469 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,400 - Where've you been? - Coming. - Yeah, right. Hang on a minute, love. 470 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,200 - What's this - milk?! - I came as quick as I could. 471 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,280 Looks like it and all. Look at these, eh? 472 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:24,840 - Mind your language, please. - They didn't have any flakes. - I wanted... 473 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:28,080 I want flakes. I can't make 99s with fucking Crunchies, can I? 474 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,920 - I told you to watch your language. - Here, have some ice cream! 475 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:35,000 Have some, eh? You stupid bitch! Oh...fuck off! 476 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,680 Eh? All of you, get out of here! 477 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,120 Fucking don't need this, do I?! 478 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,480 ANGRY SHOUTS 479 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,480 The day has been a disaster for Mr Softy Top. 480 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,520 CHEERING 481 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,960 - # When I wake up - When I wake up 482 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,400 # Well, I know I'm gonna be 483 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,080 # I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you... # 484 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,440 Yeah, I know. 485 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,240 - # When I go out - When I go out 486 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,880 # Well, I know I'm gonna be 487 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,240 # I'm going to be the man who goes along with you... # 488 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,680 Who? 489 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,400 - # If I get drunk - If I get drunk 490 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,000 # Well, I know I'm going to be 491 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,480 # I'm going to be the man who gets drunk next to you... # 492 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,560 Yes, sir! 493 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,000 - # And when I haver - When I... # 494 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,280 What's haver mean? 495 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,640 # Well, I know I'm going to be 496 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,760 # I'm going to be the man who's havering to you... # 497 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,320 It's on here. 498 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:37,480 - BOTH: - # And I would roll 500 miles and I would roll 500 more 499 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:41,600 # Just to be the man who rolled 1,000 miles 500 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,720 # To fall down at your door 501 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,440 - # When I'm working - When I'm working 502 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,120 # Well, I know I'm gonna be 503 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,600 # I'm going to be the man who's working hard for you... # 504 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,880 Chaka Khan! 505 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,760 - # And when the money - When the money 506 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:58,400 # Comes in for the work I do, I'll pass almost every penny on to you 507 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,200 - # When I come home - When I come home 508 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,040 # Well, I know I'm going to be 509 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,160 # I'm going to be the man who's coming home to you 510 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,880 - # And when I grow old - When I grow old 511 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,760 # Well, I know I'm going to be 512 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,840 # I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you 513 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:20,440 # And I would roll 500 miles and I would roll 500 more 514 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,640 - # Just to be the... - ..man... - ..who... - ..rolls... 515 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,200 - # A... - ..thou... - ..sand... 516 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,120 # ..miles to fall down at your door 517 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,600 - # Da-da-da-da! - Haba-dab-da 518 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,600 - # Da-da-da-da! - Haba-dab-da 519 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,160 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da 520 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,760 - # Da-da-da-da! - Haba-dab-da 521 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,760 - # Da-da-da-da! - Haba-daba-dab-da 522 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,400 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da... # 523 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,160 AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG 524 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,280 Ladies and gentlemen - The Proclaimers! 525 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,160 - AUDIENCE: - Woo! 526 00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,320 # When I'm lonely 527 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,960 # Well, I know I'm gonna be 528 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,280 # I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you 529 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,560 # And when I'm dreaming 530 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,160 # Well, I know I'm gonna dream 531 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,760 # I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you 532 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,280 - # When I go out - When I go out! 533 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,200 # Well, I know I'm gonna be 534 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,080 # I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you 535 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,800 - # And when I come home - When I come home! 536 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,480 # Yes, I know I'm gonna be 537 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,920 # I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you 538 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,880 # I'm gonna be the man who's coming home... 539 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,120 # With you 540 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:40,040 # But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more 541 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:46,960 # Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles to fall down at your door 542 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,760 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 543 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,160 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 544 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,840 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da 545 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,000 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 546 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,760 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 547 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,520 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da 548 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,920 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 549 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,000 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 550 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,520 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da 551 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,960 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 552 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,080 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 553 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,040 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da 554 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,480 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 555 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,600 - # Da-da-da-da! - Da-da-da-da! 556 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,120 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da 557 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:24,440 # Da-da-da-da! 558 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:25,760 # Bobby Davro! 559 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:26,880 # Da-da-da-da! 560 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,200 # Bobby Davro! 561 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,160 # Da-da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da 562 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:37,520 # And I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more 563 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:45,280 # Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles to fall down at your door. # 564 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,440 AUDIENCE: Woo! 565 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,440 - Eh? - I don't like it. 566 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,480 Oh, I love the Welsh. 567 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,240 CHEERING