1 00:00:24,743 --> 00:00:27,257 (applause) 2 00:00:31,347 --> 00:00:35,977 Hello and welcome to QI, the quiz that asks the question: 3 00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:40,140 if ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world, then? 4 00:00:40,227 --> 00:00:42,183 Joining me tonight, I am delighted to say, 5 00:00:42,267 --> 00:00:46,226 are four people who don't even know the meaning of the word ''ignorance''. Alan Davies, 6 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,775 Linda Smith, Sean Lock 7 00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:51,176 and Clive Anderson. 8 00:00:54,627 --> 00:00:57,744 The rules are as short, simple and memorable as my underwear. 9 00:00:57,827 --> 00:01:02,423 Out of the generosity of my heart, I give the panel points for being interesting. 10 00:01:02,507 --> 00:01:06,136 None of us will be any the wiser, but at least we will all go home cheerful. 11 00:01:06,227 --> 00:01:08,900 There are no wrong answers, only boring ones, 12 00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:12,297 predictable ones, which attract this hullabaloo... 13 00:01:12,387 --> 00:01:14,378 (alarm bells ) 14 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,496 The panel can also draw attention to themselves more discreetly like this - 15 00:01:19,587 --> 00:01:22,738 - Clive goes... - (fanfare) 16 00:01:22,827 --> 00:01:25,421 - Sean goes... - (bus bell) 17 00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:30,339 - Linda goes... - (bicycle bell) 18 00:01:30,427 --> 00:01:33,225 - And Alan goes... - (creaking door) 19 00:01:34,827 --> 00:01:38,058 - (Stephen ) Oh, Alan. - (man ) Hello? 20 00:01:39,147 --> 00:01:43,698 I go, ''Gozo is the second largest town in Malta'', and that sort of interesting stuff. 21 00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:45,584 So, let's have the first question. 22 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:51,583 Alan, an elephant walks into a bar. What do you offer it to drink? 23 00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:54,340 - An actual elephant? - Imagine. Let's suppose. 24 00:01:54,427 --> 00:01:58,545 - It's not a euphemism for something else? - No, no. No. 25 00:01:58,627 --> 00:02:02,700 One of those, as in behind you. A pachyderm. 26 00:02:02,787 --> 00:02:06,826 - Should a pachyderm go into a bar... - Yes, it's a convoluted way... 27 00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:09,262 - They don't drink. - What don't they drink? 28 00:02:09,347 --> 00:02:12,544 They don't drink anything. They get all of the moisture they need 29 00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:15,664 from the grass that they eat... 30 00:02:15,747 --> 00:02:20,423 which is the only reason you never see them in the pub. 31 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:23,863 I don't think they get enough moisture, because they've got very wrinkly skin. 32 00:02:23,947 --> 00:02:25,983 Very wrinkly skin, because they don't drink. 33 00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:30,299 So all those shots of them round water holes, they're just acting there? 34 00:02:30,387 --> 00:02:36,906 - Drinking water, they're just putting that on. - No, they squirt it on each other. 35 00:02:36,987 --> 00:02:40,457 Perhaps it is some kind of euphemism, in that case. 36 00:02:40,547 --> 00:02:46,019 No, drinking... when we say, ''Do you drink?'' you see, a drinker, we mean alcohol. 37 00:02:46,107 --> 00:02:48,746 They do... they do drink alcohol. They have alcohol. 38 00:02:48,827 --> 00:02:52,137 They get fruit, which ferments, and they eat it and they get drunk. 39 00:02:52,227 --> 00:02:54,946 Clever soul. You're so right, you've got yourself five points. 40 00:02:55,027 --> 00:02:56,585 - Is that the answer? - It is. 41 00:02:56,667 --> 00:03:00,103 But you shouldn't offer them alcohol, because, rather like humans, 42 00:03:00,187 --> 00:03:02,337 elephants get incredibly stroppy. 43 00:03:02,427 --> 00:03:08,024 They can smell ethanol fermenting in fruit from up to ten miles away. 44 00:03:08,107 --> 00:03:11,543 - And the effect is catastrophic. - So you can offer them anything. 45 00:03:11,627 --> 00:03:15,620 Well, that's right, but they become uncoordinated, they become aggressive. 46 00:03:15,707 --> 00:03:17,937 Do they take it down the trunk? 47 00:03:18,027 --> 00:03:19,096 (laughter) 48 00:03:19,187 --> 00:03:24,056 - (Stephen ) Why does that sound so awful? - After a few drinks, they'll take it anywhere. 49 00:03:24,147 --> 00:03:25,660 (Stephen ) Oh, dear. 50 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:29,979 But I think I actually have seen an elephant with a bottle of beer, 51 00:03:30,067 --> 00:03:31,864 tipping it back and drinking it down. 52 00:03:31,947 --> 00:03:33,460 It's all fruit-based like alcopops. 53 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:37,222 - So it would be a Breezer, not a Guinness. - (Alan ) Bacardi Breezer, they'd have, yes. 54 00:03:37,307 --> 00:03:41,266 Do they see pink human beings when they're hallucinating? 55 00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:44,100 - But human beings are pink. - Well, that's true, yes. 56 00:03:44,187 --> 00:03:46,576 - It would be scarcely odd. - They'd see blue ones. 57 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:50,865 They have little miniature frozen human beings in their drinks. 58 00:03:50,947 --> 00:03:53,222 That's right, it's a mistake to offer them alcohol. 59 00:03:53,307 --> 00:03:57,186 200 people every year die from elephant rampages, many of which are caused... 60 00:03:57,267 --> 00:04:00,020 - When they're drunk? - Many of them, not all, obviously. 61 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:05,625 They drink to forget, obviously. Because they're notoriously... 62 00:04:05,707 --> 00:04:07,538 Very good, very good. 63 00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:12,417 Excellent. Now we're going to have a question straight from the National Curriculum - 64 00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:16,661 grade 4, section 14, English language, literature and ring roads. 65 00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:23,141 Clive, describe either James Bond's Bradford or his Vesper. 66 00:04:23,227 --> 00:04:29,860 Well, is James Bond's Bradford a bit like... is it James Hewitt's Yorkshire, 67 00:04:29,947 --> 00:04:31,824 or Thomas Hardy's Wessex? 68 00:04:31,907 --> 00:04:34,467 Is it just rebranding it, so in describing... 69 00:04:34,547 --> 00:04:39,063 James Herriot, rather than James Hewitt. James Hewitt Spencer. 70 00:04:39,147 --> 00:04:42,696 - I sensed I got it wrong, but I couldn't... - You couldn't quite put your finger on it. 71 00:04:42,787 --> 00:04:45,779 Is it an item of clothing or a briefcase or a pair of shoes? 72 00:04:45,867 --> 00:04:49,860 - No, it's... That's closer than... - Than anything I said, yes. 73 00:04:49,947 --> 00:04:52,905 It's closer than the city, in Yorkshire, certainly. 74 00:04:52,987 --> 00:04:55,785 - Is it.... - What is he almost best known for? 75 00:04:55,867 --> 00:04:57,903 - (Alan ) Martinis. - Yes. 76 00:04:57,987 --> 00:05:01,024 Ian Fleming worked in naval intelligence during the war. 77 00:05:01,107 --> 00:05:03,940 - (Stephen ) He did. He did indeed. - Is that interesting enough for a point? 78 00:05:04,027 --> 00:05:06,825 It's pretty well known, though, isn't it, dear? Really, you know. 79 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:10,104 Sorry, did I call you dear just then? I'm very sorry. 80 00:05:10,187 --> 00:05:14,339 So sorry. So sorry. How that happened... I do apologise. 81 00:05:14,907 --> 00:05:19,697 It is in fact the official name for a martini that is shaken and not stirred. 82 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:23,462 Most martinis are stirred, but when it's shaken it's called a Bradford. 83 00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:26,459 They're very specific names. If you put two olives on the stick, 84 00:05:26,547 --> 00:05:28,617 it's a ''Franklin'', after Franklin Roosevelt. 85 00:05:28,707 --> 00:05:31,380 If you put a cocktail onion on the stick it's called a... 86 00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:33,935 - A cocktail onion on a stick. - (Stephen ) Oh, don't be... 87 00:05:34,027 --> 00:05:37,303 - Well, obviously it's called something. - Yes, it's called the Gibson, yes. 88 00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:42,097 But, in fact, because the Bradford contains three measures of Gordon's, 89 00:05:42,187 --> 00:05:45,065 one measure of an extraordinary sort of vermouth 90 00:05:45,147 --> 00:05:47,866 called Kina ''Lillet'', it says when looking at it. 91 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:51,064 I'm sure it must be pronounced ''Li-lay'', I suppose. 92 00:05:51,147 --> 00:05:57,143 I mean, put a Lil-let in there, you wouldn't have any drink left, would you? 93 00:05:57,227 --> 00:06:00,025 Why would you... If someone offered me a drink called a Bradford, 94 00:06:00,107 --> 00:06:03,736 I'd assume it was vodka and a rasher of streaky bacon sticking out the top of it. 95 00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:07,581 Maybe a pork pie on a knitting needle, something like that. 96 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:11,455 Is there an official place for these names? Why is a Rusty Nail called a Rusty Nail 97 00:06:11,547 --> 00:06:14,186 and all the Collins family have drinks named after them? 98 00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:16,827 - Is there a clearing house... - There are histories of this. 99 00:06:16,907 --> 00:06:21,776 The first Bloody Mary was actually in the St Regis Hotel in New York, 100 00:06:21,867 --> 00:06:24,335 and was called a Red Snapper, which is rather a good name. 101 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,146 - Fish, though. If you order red snapper... - In Australia... 102 00:06:27,227 --> 00:06:31,061 a Virgin Mary they call a Bloody Shame, which is rather good. 103 00:06:31,507 --> 00:06:33,543 That's very good. 104 00:06:34,347 --> 00:06:36,736 (Australian accent) ''Ah, a bloody shame.'' 105 00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:38,943 And cocktails developed during Prohibition, 106 00:06:39,027 --> 00:06:43,578 because the bathtub gin was so notoriously gut-rotting and tasted so dreadful 107 00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:45,737 that all kinds of additions were made to it. 108 00:06:45,827 --> 00:06:49,615 But Bond insisted on a shot of vodka, so he had his... It's usually six to one. 109 00:06:49,707 --> 00:06:53,143 Six gin to one of vermouth, or ''ver-mooth'' - whichever you prefer - 110 00:06:53,227 --> 00:06:56,503 and he added this vodka, which makes it strictly not a martini, 111 00:06:56,587 --> 00:07:00,136 so Bond actually gave his own name, which was a Vesper. 112 00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:02,661 There's a rather good phrase in one of the Bond books: 113 00:07:02,747 --> 00:07:06,456 ''To Bond, the best drink of the day was the drink he had in his head 114 00:07:06,547 --> 00:07:10,096 before the first drink of the day.'' It's rather good that, isn't it? 115 00:07:10,187 --> 00:07:14,100 - (Alan ) I don't really like James Bond. - No, he's cruel. He's a cruel man. 116 00:07:14,187 --> 00:07:18,419 No, I don't think I'd like him. If I met him I think I'd think he was a bit of a prat. 117 00:07:18,507 --> 00:07:20,782 (mumbles as James Bond) 118 00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:24,860 ''I'm undoing your zip with my magnet, haw-haw-haw.'' 119 00:07:24,947 --> 00:07:29,896 - You should read the books because... - I don't have time. I haven't read all yours. 120 00:07:29,987 --> 00:07:32,626 - Nobody's done that. - (Stephen ) Read Fleming first. 121 00:07:32,707 --> 00:07:35,062 Read Fleming first. They're awfully good, they really are. 122 00:07:35,147 --> 00:07:38,981 The chapter for Ñasino Royale begins, ''Bond lit his 80th cigarette of the day.'' 123 00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:41,940 Now, how can you dislike a man... I mean, that's... 124 00:07:42,387 --> 00:07:45,823 It's full of interesting stuff. For instance, Bond has these strange ideas. 125 00:07:45,907 --> 00:07:50,298 He has this idea that homosexuals can't whistle, for example, which occurs... 126 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:54,665 Because they've always got a cock in their mouth? 127 00:08:00,627 --> 00:08:04,222 I want you to go and stand in the corner. 128 00:08:04,307 --> 00:08:08,095 You just put your lips together and blow, everyone knows that. 129 00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:11,220 - I've had a blow job... - You can easily say the word ''Wimbledon''. 130 00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:15,220 ..which is a cocktail, and you get it in a shooter glass 131 00:08:15,307 --> 00:08:18,936 and it's got something like Drambuie or Baileys or something in it. 132 00:08:19,027 --> 00:08:23,896 - Oh, how sophisticated. - And then it's got... 133 00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:30,256 And then it's got whipped cream out of a can on the top of it. 134 00:08:30,347 --> 00:08:32,144 (Linda ) That sounds a lovely drink, Alan. 135 00:08:32,227 --> 00:08:36,459 You get it put on the counter like that. You're not allowed to use your hands to drink it. 136 00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:40,540 Hence, it's called... There's someone groaning, ''Oh, God!'' 137 00:08:41,107 --> 00:08:44,304 So you have to put your hands behind your back and go like that. 138 00:08:44,387 --> 00:08:47,538 I've never been to Essex. Anyway... 139 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,583 (applause) 140 00:08:54,787 --> 00:08:59,497 Now, Sean, in 1913, the world long-jump champion was an Englishman 141 00:08:59,587 --> 00:09:05,662 who could leap backwards from the floor onto a mantelpiece without losing his balance. 142 00:09:05,747 --> 00:09:10,298 What interesting position was he offered after the First World War? There he is. 143 00:09:10,387 --> 00:09:14,062 - But he's got a cricket bat in his hand. - He was an extraordinary sportsman. 144 00:09:14,147 --> 00:09:16,263 He could what? What did you say there? He could leap... 145 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:20,943 He could leap backwards from a stationary position onto a mantelpiece, just leap... 146 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:26,385 He was described by John Arlott as the most variedly talented Englishman ever born. 147 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:29,698 He captained England and Surrey for cricket. 148 00:09:29,787 --> 00:09:33,496 He appeared in an FA Cup Final. He had the world long-jump record. 149 00:09:33,587 --> 00:09:36,863 - This isn't your relative, is it? - It is CB Fry, yes. 150 00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:39,336 (Sean ) What I want to know is, how did he discover he could do that? 151 00:09:39,427 --> 00:09:41,895 I suppose, in phases. 152 00:09:41,987 --> 00:09:44,262 How do you find out you can do that? 153 00:09:44,347 --> 00:09:48,579 You can just be standing in front of the fireplace and go... 154 00:09:49,427 --> 00:09:52,225 Was it a really boring party? 155 00:09:52,307 --> 00:09:55,743 Lord Delfont was chatting and he turned for a canape. ''Whoop, I'm out of it.'' 156 00:09:55,827 --> 00:09:59,536 Maybe there was a rattlesnake on the floor, or something like that. 157 00:09:59,627 --> 00:10:04,655 Somebody came for a cocktail and said, ''I fancy a blow job'' and he went, ''Oop!'' 158 00:10:04,747 --> 00:10:08,057 No, he was a Fry, he would have welcomed it. 159 00:10:12,387 --> 00:10:15,857 He was just putting himself in a better position, that's it. 160 00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:18,825 Charles Burgess Fry, CB Fry, the greatest all-rounder... 161 00:10:18,907 --> 00:10:19,896 What was the question? 162 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:23,263 What extraordinary position was he offered after the First World War? 163 00:10:23,347 --> 00:10:28,102 - Chest of drawers? - A mantelpiece with or without ornaments? 164 00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:32,906 - (Ñlive) Without, afterwards. - Say someone had a tank of tropical fish... 165 00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:37,583 Competitive mantelpiece leaping, you just clear it, move most of the stuff off it. 166 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:41,626 Maybe he was on the mantelpiece, lost his balance and thought: 167 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:45,461 ''I must get back up before anyone's noticed.'' 168 00:10:45,547 --> 00:10:49,142 Lost his balance, fell on the sofa, bounced back up... 169 00:10:49,227 --> 00:10:53,015 They went, ''Blimey, did you just jump backwards onto that mantelpiece?'' 170 00:10:53,107 --> 00:10:55,780 - ''Oh, yeah, yeah.'' - (Ñlive) Or was it a sport we played? 171 00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:58,779 It's a very old English pursuit, jumping backwards. 172 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:02,655 And there's a famous canal jumper from the Black Country, somebody like Jack Derby, 173 00:11:02,747 --> 00:11:06,581 and he could leap 32 foot across a canal from a standing jump. 174 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,818 There's a statue of him on one of the canals, and the way he did it was weights. 175 00:11:09,907 --> 00:11:12,979 He had two weights in his arms and he'd swing them, like that. 176 00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:15,103 - Like a bouncing bomb. - And then throw them. 177 00:11:15,187 --> 00:11:19,863 And they'd take him across, and he'd go... to the other side. 178 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:23,576 And his name was something like Jack Derby, and he died in the '30s. 179 00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:26,818 He died in the canal, didn't he? That's what it was. 180 00:11:26,907 --> 00:11:29,819 The statue is at the bottom where he was commemorated. 181 00:11:29,907 --> 00:11:33,377 I think he had the world jumping-backwards record, 13 foot. 182 00:11:33,707 --> 00:11:35,425 There you are, it means something. 183 00:11:35,507 --> 00:11:38,465 Well, CB Fry, to bring us back to Charles Burgess Fry... 184 00:11:38,547 --> 00:11:41,107 Did he not feel, once he'd done the mantelpiece thing, 185 00:11:41,187 --> 00:11:45,180 and everyone went, ''Wow, that's fantastic. That is so brilliant.'' 186 00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:47,861 After that, do you think it started to pall a bit, they'd think: 187 00:11:47,947 --> 00:11:49,938 ''Oh, he's doing the mantelpiece thing again.'' 188 00:11:50,027 --> 00:11:53,736 It's a thing he did... It was just a party piece he did three or four times. 189 00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:57,866 It wasn't enough that he headed the class list at Oxford, had the world long-jump record, 190 00:11:57,947 --> 00:12:00,177 he played in an FA Cup Final, 191 00:12:00,267 --> 00:12:03,464 captained England and headed England batting averages for four years, 192 00:12:03,547 --> 00:12:08,780 spoke five languages, and what was this extraordinary position that he was offered? 193 00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:11,017 He was obviously a member of the Fry family. 194 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:16,022 Maybe he was offered to be quizmaster on a panel game to demonstrate his... 195 00:12:16,107 --> 00:12:19,417 Who was he offered the position by? A governmental thing? 196 00:12:19,507 --> 00:12:22,579 By the most governmental thing that existed after the First World War. 197 00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,306 League of Nations. So he was Head of the League of Nations? 198 00:12:25,387 --> 00:12:29,062 He was referee. He refereed the play-offs for the League of Nations. 199 00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:31,138 It wasn't sport... 200 00:12:31,227 --> 00:12:33,218 - President of the League of Nations. - No. More important. 201 00:12:33,307 --> 00:12:36,743 - King. King of the League of Nations. - No, not of the League of Nations. 202 00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:38,738 One of the nations within the League of Nations. 203 00:12:38,827 --> 00:12:42,137 - Oh, he was King of Albania. - He was offered the throne of Albania. 204 00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:44,457 - Yes. - There you are. Finally we got there. 205 00:12:44,547 --> 00:12:48,142 He said, ''I don't want the throne, just give me the mantelpiece.'' 206 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:51,583 Now, look, stop. I wish I'd never mentioned the bloody mantelpiece now. 207 00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:54,500 It was just one of the many things he could do, all right? 208 00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:58,466 Let's not refine on it, let's not make it too big a deal. He did it once or twice. 209 00:12:58,547 --> 00:13:02,381 The reason he was offered it was his great friend was Prince Ranjitsinhji. 210 00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,776 Together he and Fry dominated the cricketing world, 211 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,256 It was known as the golden age of cricket, still is. 212 00:13:07,347 --> 00:13:11,226 Prince Ranjitsinhji was an important officer in the League of Nations when it was founded, 213 00:13:11,307 --> 00:13:15,505 and he brought Fry along as a speech writer to the League of Nations. 214 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,942 They met the Albanian delegation, which was unhappy, 215 00:13:18,027 --> 00:13:21,622 because the King of the Albania had been deposed and run away, 216 00:13:21,707 --> 00:13:25,302 and so they offered Fry the throne, and he accepted. 217 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:29,096 But his friend Hilaire Belloc, the poet, said, ''No.'' He said, ''Don't accept it.'' 218 00:13:29,187 --> 00:13:33,146 He said, ''All you need is a cellar full of wine and the society of those who love you.'' 219 00:13:33,227 --> 00:13:36,663 - ''Turn it down.'' So he did. - And became a raging alcoholic. 220 00:13:36,747 --> 00:13:40,626 He was talking Bellocs, wasn't he, because it would have been a great thing to be king. 221 00:13:40,707 --> 00:13:44,746 Well, I don't know. The next king was King Zog, who had a very short tenure and fled. 222 00:13:44,827 --> 00:13:48,456 Anyway, one of the things, on the subject of Albania and its throne 223 00:13:48,547 --> 00:13:52,176 that might have attracted the Albanians to Fry, was his moustache, his tache. 224 00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:55,862 The Albanian language has an extraordinary richness of vocabulary, 225 00:13:55,947 --> 00:13:57,824 as far as facial hair is concerned, 226 00:13:57,907 --> 00:14:03,937 with 27 different words to describe the shape of moustaches and 30 for eyebrows. 227 00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:08,817 For example, vetullan means someone with very bushy eyebrows. 228 00:14:08,907 --> 00:14:12,422 Vetullor means ''slightly arched eyebrow'', 229 00:14:12,507 --> 00:14:15,499 vetullosh is someone with very thick eyebrows, 230 00:14:15,587 --> 00:14:19,944 so, Linda, what is vetullushe, do you imagine? 231 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:24,225 Well, no, you say they've got 30 words... 232 00:14:24,307 --> 00:14:26,184 (Stephen ) 30 words for types of eyebrow. 233 00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:28,735 Well, we've obviously got more words than that, haven't we, 234 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:32,900 because they've got one word for ''very bushy eyebrow'', we've got three words. 235 00:14:32,987 --> 00:14:34,978 ''Very bushy eyebrow.'' 236 00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:37,297 Yes. 237 00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:40,259 Good thinking. I like that. 238 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:43,544 I'm rather unimpressed with their 30 words for eyebrow. 239 00:14:43,627 --> 00:14:45,982 (Ñlive) Are they short of conversation in Albania? 240 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:49,104 They probably are. It's a poor place. It's the poorest country in Europe. 241 00:14:49,187 --> 00:14:52,179 I bet the Albanian police always get their man, don't they, 242 00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:55,225 because that Identikit picture would be pretty accurate. 243 00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:59,095 I think they use the magnet man with the iron filings. 244 00:14:59,187 --> 00:15:00,905 An eyebrow that meets in the middle. 245 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,979 - True. There should be a word for that. - Well, there must be, in Albanian. 246 00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:08,299 Josephus, the Jewish historian, 247 00:15:08,387 --> 00:15:12,062 reckoned that Jesus had a monobrow. 248 00:15:12,147 --> 00:15:15,537 I thought there was something shifty about him. 249 00:15:15,627 --> 00:15:18,300 Where did he get that? There's no description of Jesus in the Bible. 250 00:15:18,387 --> 00:15:21,697 - (Sean ) Too good to be true. - Exactly. 251 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:26,065 It's actually, vetullushe, is the Albanian for a goat, but a special kind of goat, 252 00:15:26,147 --> 00:15:29,105 one with brown eyebrows. 253 00:15:29,187 --> 00:15:32,179 - (Ñlive) They're obsessed. - (Stephen ) They are very obsessed. 254 00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:36,783 With goats like that, you should imagine they'd be very happy people, wouldn't you? 255 00:15:36,867 --> 00:15:40,177 - Why would goats need eyebrows, really? - To express surprise. 256 00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:42,656 To look quizzical. 257 00:15:44,747 --> 00:15:47,307 What's that called? That there? 258 00:15:47,387 --> 00:15:50,504 - (Linda ) I've no idea. - The philtrum. 259 00:15:50,587 --> 00:15:52,543 Yeah, but why is it a groove? Like guttering. 260 00:15:52,627 --> 00:15:56,859 Because nothing actually comes out of that middle bit, does it? It goes either side. 261 00:15:56,947 --> 00:15:59,586 - (Ñlive) It runs into there. - No. It goes either side. 262 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:04,058 Nothing goes in there. It's got a big lump of fat. It's stupid, that is. 263 00:16:04,147 --> 00:16:07,537 All right, Albania is the poorest country in Europe, 264 00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:11,222 with more than 60% of its population living in mountainous rural areas. 265 00:16:11,907 --> 00:16:14,546 Animals and facial hair are all they have. 266 00:16:14,627 --> 00:16:19,064 Albanian may be the only language in Europe where the word for male sheep, dash, 267 00:16:19,147 --> 00:16:22,537 is the same word for a well-turned-out and attractive young man. 268 00:16:23,347 --> 00:16:24,462 Now, fingers on the buzzers for this one. 269 00:16:24,547 --> 00:16:28,665 What is the difference between a pink fairy and a green fairy? 270 00:16:28,747 --> 00:16:31,978 La fee verte, the green fairy. Does that ring any bells with you? 271 00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:33,864 Oh, yes. Absinthe. 272 00:16:33,947 --> 00:16:36,859 Absinthe. Well done, Linda. I'll give you ten points. Absolutely right. 273 00:16:36,947 --> 00:16:39,859 Absinthe is the green fairy. The pink fairy is a type of armadillo. 274 00:16:39,947 --> 00:16:41,016 Ah, right. 275 00:16:41,107 --> 00:16:46,056 What sort of animal, I'll give you five points for this, what sort of animal is an armadillo? 276 00:16:46,147 --> 00:16:48,263 - Is it an anteater? - It is an anteater. 277 00:16:48,347 --> 00:16:50,417 I mean, is it a reptile, is it a mammal...? 278 00:16:50,507 --> 00:16:53,305 - It's the same as a badger, that sort of... - (Linda ) It's a mammal. 279 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,743 It's a mammal. Absolutely right. Five points. It's unusual in many respects. 280 00:16:56,827 --> 00:17:00,342 It's the only mammal, apart from mankind, that can get leprosy. 281 00:17:00,427 --> 00:17:05,660 Armadillos give birth to four identical, same-sexed baby armadillos, 282 00:17:05,747 --> 00:17:08,864 all from the same egg, all coming from the same egg, which is unique. 283 00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:11,984 The male armadillo has a penis two thirds the length of its body. 284 00:17:12,067 --> 00:17:15,025 - (Ñlive) Right, yes. - (Alan ) You're joking. 285 00:17:15,107 --> 00:17:17,701 I think you'll find, Clive, that that is the normal proportions. 286 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,425 Is it? 287 00:17:19,507 --> 00:17:21,737 You lucky girl. 288 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,301 What alteration to the human anatomy 289 00:17:25,387 --> 00:17:28,982 did Benjamin Franklin think would vastly increase human happiness? 290 00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:32,061 - Well, is it something to do with health? - (Stephen ) Not really. 291 00:17:32,147 --> 00:17:34,456 Like smoke-proof lungs or something like that. 292 00:17:34,547 --> 00:17:36,902 - It's as mad as that. - Self-cleaning arsehole. 293 00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:39,660 Almost. You're so close. 294 00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:42,298 - What... - (Linda ) Oh, farts. 295 00:17:42,387 --> 00:17:44,264 - Farts. - No farting? 296 00:17:44,347 --> 00:17:46,019 - No, he thought... - (Alan ) More farting. 297 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,984 - A small exhaust pipe. - ..the ability... 298 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:52,140 To run up, like diesel lorries, that little sort of cap on them. 299 00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:54,058 (Linda ) Hoot, hoot. 300 00:17:54,147 --> 00:17:56,786 Parp, parp, parp. 301 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,506 - No. - (Sean ) Steam-powered trousers. 302 00:17:59,587 --> 00:18:00,986 Yes. Why not? 303 00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,945 Look at him. He looks like he's just smelt a fart, doesn't he? 304 00:18:04,027 --> 00:18:06,177 Yes. Somebody else has just done it in front of him. 305 00:18:06,267 --> 00:18:09,942 And therefore... therefore he thought, ''Wouldn't the world be a better place 306 00:18:10,027 --> 00:18:13,906 if we could all discharge wind freely from the bowels without it smelling'', 307 00:18:13,987 --> 00:18:16,262 if he could find a drug to render all farts... 308 00:18:16,347 --> 00:18:18,144 There's no need for that. 309 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,582 - ..to be perfumed. - (Ñlive) The visual aid. 310 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:24,455 Geri Halliwell's not looking so thin these days. 311 00:18:26,027 --> 00:18:31,226 Lawks-a-lumme. Anyway, he believed that this would do more good 312 00:18:31,307 --> 00:18:34,743 than the works of Descartes, Aristotle and Newton put together. 313 00:18:34,827 --> 00:18:36,658 Franklin was an extraordinary man, scientist, 314 00:18:36,747 --> 00:18:39,978 philosopher, inventor of bifocals and of the fire brigade. 315 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:43,218 He also helped Washington and Jefferson prepare the American constitution, 316 00:18:43,307 --> 00:18:48,825 but they refused to let him draft it, because they worried that he would put jokes in. 317 00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:52,661 - (Alan ) Fart jokes. - Yes, fart jokes. Perfumed fart jokes. Exactly. 318 00:18:52,747 --> 00:18:54,897 Incidentally, while we're on the subject of Americans, 319 00:18:54,987 --> 00:18:59,139 if any of you do find any weapons of mass destruction under your seats, 320 00:18:59,227 --> 00:19:03,345 if you could forward them to the government, cos they've looked everywhere. 321 00:19:03,427 --> 00:19:06,942 - Oh, it'll be the last place they look. - (Stephen ) That's right. 322 00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:10,497 Well, we have sent a probe to Mars, haven't we, so... 323 00:19:10,587 --> 00:19:14,785 I'm like that with scissors. I turn the house... 324 00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:19,543 Mind you, the difference is I have been stockpiling scissors for the last 20 years. 325 00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:25,816 That's worrying. Now, what was the first processed food produced by H J Heinz in 1869? 326 00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:27,499 - Fingers on buzzers. - (cuckoo noise) 327 00:19:27,587 --> 00:19:29,896 - Ketchup. - Oh! Oh, no! 328 00:19:29,987 --> 00:19:33,457 - (alarm bells ) - Oh, finally. Finally, goddammit. 329 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,300 Tomato ketchup is not the right answer, no, no. 330 00:19:36,387 --> 00:19:38,105 - No, we predicted that. - (cuckoo ) 331 00:19:38,187 --> 00:19:41,941 - Baked beans. - Oh, Alan, Alan, Alan. 332 00:19:42,027 --> 00:19:43,301 (alarm bells ) 333 00:19:43,387 --> 00:19:46,618 - Oh, dear me. That's minus at least 20. Yes? - Mayonnaise. 334 00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:49,619 No, you're safe on that one. A big German... 335 00:19:49,707 --> 00:19:53,256 - Mini chicken Kievs. - Not mini chicken Kievs. 336 00:19:53,347 --> 00:19:55,702 - (Alan ) Pickle. - No, it's a hot one. A hot one. Not mustard. 337 00:19:55,787 --> 00:19:58,460 - Horseradish. - Horseradish is the right answer. 338 00:19:58,547 --> 00:20:01,459 Well done. There you are. Horseradish. 339 00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:05,105 (Ñlive) The... 340 00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:07,906 If I may chip in, as far as I know, there never were... 341 00:20:07,987 --> 00:20:11,582 when they had that slogan ''57 varieties'', there were many more than 57 varieties. 342 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,658 They just used 57 because it sounded such a good... 343 00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:17,137 You're absolutely right, Clive. I'll give you five for coming in with that. 344 00:20:17,227 --> 00:20:21,459 They've never had 57. In fact, now they have more than 6,000 varieties, so they claim. 345 00:20:21,547 --> 00:20:23,583 There you are. They just like the number 57. 346 00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:26,864 They're rather obsessed with it. Their phone number is 5757, 347 00:20:26,947 --> 00:20:31,498 their address is PO Box 57, Pittsburgh, if you wanted to write to them. 348 00:20:31,587 --> 00:20:32,940 They've milked that idea. 349 00:20:33,027 --> 00:20:36,940 Who do you think might have been the first customer in Britain who bought... 350 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,904 I mean, a retailer, not an individual... 351 00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:41,581 - It's Fortnum & Mason. - Fortnum Mason is the right answer. 352 00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:43,976 He sold them door to door in glass jars, did Heinz, 353 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:48,618 so his customers could see it was free from such fillers as wood fibre, turnip and things. 354 00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:51,699 Heinz tomato ketchup followed in 1875, actually, 355 00:20:51,787 --> 00:20:55,097 and it wasn't until 1895 that he perfected the perfect baked bean. 356 00:20:55,187 --> 00:21:00,102 To this day, supposedly, only four members of the Heinz family know the baked-bean recipe. 357 00:21:00,547 --> 00:21:04,699 Now that we're within sniffing distance of the end, as Benjamin Franklin might have said, 358 00:21:04,787 --> 00:21:09,383 fingers on the buzzers, please, for another round of general ignorance. 359 00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:13,136 How long do your fingernails and hair grow after you're dead? 360 00:21:13,227 --> 00:21:14,626 - (cuckoo ) - Alan? 361 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:17,267 - Two foot. - (laughter) 362 00:21:18,747 --> 00:21:21,466 - No, no, no. - (fanfare) 363 00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:24,778 I'm just fascinated to know that your hair grows after you die, 364 00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:27,859 because I'm looking forward to that, so... 365 00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,706 - But it's... - (applause) 366 00:21:32,787 --> 00:21:35,665 This is discussed at great length in Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, 367 00:21:35,747 --> 00:21:37,703 and I think it's about two hours, or something. 368 00:21:37,787 --> 00:21:39,618 Yeah. In fact, it doesn't at all. 369 00:21:39,707 --> 00:21:43,495 Neither fingernails and hair, which are the same substance, keratin. 370 00:21:43,587 --> 00:21:47,341 It's a complete myth. The skin merely tightens, creating an illusion of growth. 371 00:21:47,427 --> 00:21:49,861 Anyway, what do bananas grow on? 372 00:21:49,947 --> 00:21:51,903 - (all buzz at once) - Yes? 373 00:21:51,987 --> 00:21:54,023 They're monocotyledons and they grow up like that. 374 00:21:54,107 --> 00:21:57,099 They grow on banana trees, they call them, but they're not... 375 00:21:57,187 --> 00:21:58,540 - They're not trees. - (alarm bells ) 376 00:21:58,627 --> 00:22:00,140 Let me explain. 377 00:22:00,227 --> 00:22:03,902 No, take it back, take it back, studio. 15 for that. 378 00:22:03,987 --> 00:22:07,900 They are a herb, distinguished by not having a woody stem, essentially, 379 00:22:07,987 --> 00:22:09,579 and by dying back after seeding. 380 00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,658 - (Sean ) They walk. - (Stephen ) I'm sorry? 381 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,215 Banana plants, whatever you want to call them, walk. 382 00:22:14,307 --> 00:22:17,583 Nurse! Nurse, he's out of bed again. 383 00:22:18,067 --> 00:22:22,504 They do, they walk. They move. I travelled to Colombia and I went to a banana... 384 00:22:22,587 --> 00:22:27,615 Yes, well, if you go to Colombia, you see, these things will happen. 385 00:22:27,707 --> 00:22:31,222 I went to a banana plantation and I was admiring this banana area... 386 00:22:31,307 --> 00:22:32,581 (Stephen ) ''Sniff my bananas.'' 387 00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:35,227 I said, ''Hold on a minute.'' I said, ''Hold on a minute'', to the guy. 388 00:22:35,307 --> 00:22:38,299 ''Why is there that big patch to the left of the field?'' 389 00:22:38,387 --> 00:22:42,983 He said, ''Because the plants, they walk and they need a lot of room.'' 390 00:22:43,067 --> 00:22:46,139 So basically you need lots of room, because plants, they move, they walk. 391 00:22:46,227 --> 00:22:48,263 So they have to make the fields slightly larger. 392 00:22:48,347 --> 00:22:51,384 You plant the strip then you leave a strip, because they move across like that. 393 00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:52,820 We shall... I shall have... 394 00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:55,626 You know like Betty and Keppel when they walk... 395 00:22:55,707 --> 00:23:00,064 (Stephen ) Sean. As Clive said, the banana plant is actually a herb, 396 00:23:00,147 --> 00:23:02,183 because the stem does not contain woody tissue. 397 00:23:02,267 --> 00:23:07,295 And the banana fruit is technically a berry, in fact, or a juicy ovary containing seeds, to you. 398 00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:09,582 Now, what sort... Yes. 399 00:23:09,667 --> 00:23:11,146 Stop it! 400 00:23:11,227 --> 00:23:14,264 Oh, giggling in the back row, Miss. 401 00:23:14,347 --> 00:23:18,625 The intelligent voice in my ear tells me you're absolutely right, Sean. They do walk. 402 00:23:18,707 --> 00:23:20,663 They walk up to 40 centimetres in a lifetime. 403 00:23:20,747 --> 00:23:23,215 - Yes! - (applause) 404 00:23:24,307 --> 00:23:26,662 (Ñlive) Well done. 405 00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:32,535 What sort of mother gives birth to either a baby lili or a baby titi? 406 00:23:33,387 --> 00:23:35,378 - Maybe it should be ''lie lie'' and ''titi''. - (fanfare) 407 00:23:35,467 --> 00:23:37,185 - Yes? - Well, it's obviously armadillos. 408 00:23:37,267 --> 00:23:39,258 - No, it's not. - Except there'd be four names. 409 00:23:39,347 --> 00:23:41,065 Yes, you see, exactly. No, no. 410 00:23:41,147 --> 00:23:44,184 - Pandas? - Not pandas. No, no. 411 00:23:44,267 --> 00:23:47,464 - Dogs, cats, horses, cows, sheep. - Well... 412 00:23:47,547 --> 00:23:49,458 - (bus bell) - Mice, rats, gerbils... 413 00:23:49,547 --> 00:23:51,538 - (Linda ) Bluebirds. - (Stephen ) Not bluebirds. 414 00:23:51,627 --> 00:23:55,222 No, if I say it should be ''lie lie'' and ''tie tie'', 415 00:23:55,307 --> 00:23:58,299 it's because it's something to do with ''lie'' and ''tie''. 416 00:23:58,387 --> 00:24:00,218 What animals begin with ''lie'' and ''tie''? 417 00:24:00,307 --> 00:24:02,582 - Lions and tigers. - (Stephen ) Lions and tigers. 418 00:24:02,667 --> 00:24:06,296 Exactly. And if a lion mates with a tiger, you get a... 419 00:24:06,387 --> 00:24:08,343 Scandal. 420 00:24:08,427 --> 00:24:09,860 (laughter) 421 00:24:09,947 --> 00:24:11,699 (Sean ) Very nice. 422 00:24:14,067 --> 00:24:15,136 A liger. 423 00:24:15,227 --> 00:24:18,139 You should call them sergeant because they all have three stripes. 424 00:24:18,227 --> 00:24:22,345 What happens is you also get a liger that mates with a lion and produces a lili, 425 00:24:22,427 --> 00:24:25,737 and a tigon which mates with a tiger, which produces a titi. 426 00:24:25,827 --> 00:24:28,136 Lions and tigers, never encounter one another in the wild, 427 00:24:28,227 --> 00:24:31,902 because lions are from Africa and tigers are from Asia - different continents. 428 00:24:31,987 --> 00:24:38,222 - They have bred successfully in captivity. - I thought you meant a club they went to. 429 00:24:38,307 --> 00:24:43,142 (Stephen ) No. A cross between a female lion and a male tiger is called a tigon, 430 00:24:43,227 --> 00:24:44,785 which is an even rarer animal. 431 00:24:44,867 --> 00:24:48,382 - Teflon is a nonstick pan. - (laughter) 432 00:24:48,467 --> 00:24:50,139 Developed by? 433 00:24:50,227 --> 00:24:51,865 - Someone in Iceland. - (Linda ) No. 434 00:24:51,947 --> 00:24:53,699 - (Stephen ) DuPont. - Yes. 435 00:24:53,787 --> 00:24:56,779 (Ñlive) But not for the space programme. The... 436 00:24:56,867 --> 00:25:03,705 If you... if a lion mates with a lorry tyre, it comes out as a lilo. 437 00:25:03,787 --> 00:25:05,459 Hey! Very good. 438 00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:08,345 That wasn't worth waiting for. Carry on with whatever you're doing. 439 00:25:08,667 --> 00:25:10,737 Who coined... Fingers on buzzers. 440 00:25:10,827 --> 00:25:14,376 Who coined the phrase, ''survival of the fittest'' and what was his greatest discovery? 441 00:25:14,467 --> 00:25:15,866 - (all buzz at once) - Yes? 442 00:25:15,947 --> 00:25:17,983 I know... I'm going to avoid saying... 443 00:25:18,067 --> 00:25:22,618 It must have been the guy called Wallace, who sent in the stuff to Darwin... 444 00:25:22,707 --> 00:25:24,186 - (Stephen ) No. - (bus bell) 445 00:25:24,267 --> 00:25:25,620 - (Stephen ) Yes? - Kevin Keegan? 446 00:25:25,707 --> 00:25:26,696 No. 447 00:25:26,787 --> 00:25:30,097 And that stuff that keeps your perm tight. 448 00:25:30,187 --> 00:25:32,064 - Alan uses it. - (Stephen ) I'm sorry? 449 00:25:32,147 --> 00:25:34,024 - Darwin. - Oh, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan! 450 00:25:34,107 --> 00:25:35,506 (alarm bells ) 451 00:25:35,587 --> 00:25:40,581 Why do you do it to us and yourself, to anybody? Not Charles Darwin, no, no. 452 00:25:40,667 --> 00:25:43,306 (Ñlive) I've worked out the logic. You couldn't say Charles Darwin. 453 00:25:43,387 --> 00:25:47,426 It can't be that obvious. The phrase ''survival of the fittest'' was, in fact, Herbert Spencer, 454 00:25:47,507 --> 00:25:51,659 and his greatest achievement, Herbert Spencer, was the paperclip, which he invented. 455 00:25:51,747 --> 00:25:55,786 He was just sitting twiddling with another paperclip and he came up with that one. 456 00:25:55,867 --> 00:26:00,224 He was an engineer, a philosopher and a psychologist, who was as famous as Darwin. 457 00:26:00,307 --> 00:26:02,104 He coined the phrase ''survival of the fittest'', 458 00:26:02,187 --> 00:26:05,020 which doesn't appear in the original Origin of Species, by Charles Darwin, 459 00:26:05,107 --> 00:26:07,496 though Darwin adapted it, or adopted it, for later editions. 460 00:26:07,587 --> 00:26:10,055 Norwegians will tell you proudly, very proudly, 461 00:26:10,147 --> 00:26:14,538 that the paperclip is a Norwegian invention - Johann Vaaler, in 1899 - 462 00:26:14,627 --> 00:26:17,460 but Spencer patented his design for paperclips 463 00:26:17,547 --> 00:26:21,256 almost 30 years before Vaaler in the 1860s, but his supplier went bankrupt 464 00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:24,145 and he became ill for 20 years of his life and never followed it up. 465 00:26:24,227 --> 00:26:28,266 He sent in his patent application with the sort of papers all neatly attached together. 466 00:26:28,347 --> 00:26:31,339 ''What is your invention?'' ''See left-hand corner.'' ''There's nothing there.'' 467 00:26:31,427 --> 00:26:34,419 ''There was.'' ''No, there's nothing written.'' 468 00:26:34,507 --> 00:26:37,658 Today more than 11 billion paperclips are sold annually, as a matter of fact, 469 00:26:37,747 --> 00:26:40,898 but a recent survey claimed that out of every 100,000 sold, 470 00:26:40,987 --> 00:26:43,740 only one in five are actually used to hold papers together. 471 00:26:43,827 --> 00:26:47,979 The rest are used as poker chips, pipe cleaners, safety pins, toothpicks. 472 00:26:48,067 --> 00:26:51,662 The others are dropped and lost or bent out of shape during awkward phone calls. 473 00:26:51,747 --> 00:26:53,977 Have you ever bought a paperclip? 474 00:26:54,067 --> 00:26:58,379 - I don't think I've ever bought a paperclip. - They don't sell them in ones. 475 00:26:58,467 --> 00:27:00,901 - (Stephen ) ''I'll buy one paperclip.'' - ''One paperclip.'' 476 00:27:00,987 --> 00:27:04,582 ''I have a hundredth of a penny there.'' 477 00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:07,056 - ''There you go.'' - ''Would you like it wrapped, sir?'' 478 00:27:07,147 --> 00:27:10,298 But on that merry note, we must pause, hold hands 479 00:27:10,387 --> 00:27:12,901 and contemplate the mystery of the final scores. 480 00:27:12,987 --> 00:27:17,583 - (Alan ) Oh, no. - In last place, I fear... 481 00:27:17,667 --> 00:27:20,579 with minus 30 points, 482 00:27:20,667 --> 00:27:22,339 uh... 483 00:27:22,427 --> 00:27:24,736 I'm so sorry. 484 00:27:24,827 --> 00:27:28,945 Well, if I got minus ten, three of those, that means I didn't get a point all night. 485 00:27:29,027 --> 00:27:32,815 No, I'm sorry, you must put your belly on the ground, as they say in Albania, for being last. 486 00:27:32,907 --> 00:27:34,499 I'm sorry about that. 487 00:27:34,587 --> 00:27:38,136 In third place it's Sean, with 25. 488 00:27:38,227 --> 00:27:42,015 - In second place, Linda with 30 QI points. - Not bad. 489 00:27:42,107 --> 00:27:45,941 Means our runaway winner today, with 37 points, is Clive Anderson. 490 00:27:46,027 --> 00:27:48,587 Oh, thank you very much. 491 00:27:53,027 --> 00:27:57,817 So, as we bid a tearful farewell to Clive, Sean, Linda and Alan, 492 00:27:57,907 --> 00:28:01,422 a final reminder of why the battle for interestingness matters. 493 00:28:01,507 --> 00:28:05,136 When a market-research team was asked recently to come up with a new name 494 00:28:05,227 --> 00:28:08,663 for the merger between a university and a college in Bradford, 495 00:28:08,747 --> 00:28:12,501 they took three months, this company, to suggest the following alternatives: 496 00:28:12,587 --> 00:28:14,737 University of Bradford, 497 00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:17,625 The University of Bradford, 498 00:28:17,707 --> 00:28:20,699 or Bradford University. 499 00:28:20,787 --> 00:28:23,381 Their fee was 20,000 pounds. 500 00:28:23,467 --> 00:28:25,981 - Good night. - (applause)