1 00:00:24,367 --> 00:00:28,360 (Applause) 2 00:00:32,247 --> 00:00:34,363 Oh, hello, hello, hello, hello. 3 00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:37,365 Good evening and welcome once again to Ql, 4 00:00:37,407 --> 00:00:40,001 the reality show where four people are held in a queue, 5 00:00:40,047 --> 00:00:42,163 until one of them becomes interesting. 6 00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:45,438 - Clive Anderson. - (Applause) 7 00:00:45,487 --> 00:00:47,159 - Phil Kay. - (Applause) 8 00:00:47,207 --> 00:00:48,765 - Johnny Sessions. - (Applause) 9 00:00:48,807 --> 00:00:51,799 - And Alan Davies. - (Applause) 10 00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:56,320 First of all, you have a special project, members of the team, 11 00:00:56,367 --> 00:00:58,722 and that is to draw and colour in, 12 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,598 if you so choose, a wigwam. 13 00:01:00,647 --> 00:01:03,320 And as this is Series B, um, we'd like you to do it 14 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,198 in the style of artists beginning with B. 15 00:01:05,247 --> 00:01:07,920 So, Clive, if you'd do it in the style of Botticelli. 16 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:09,878 Phil in the style of William Blake, 17 00:01:09,927 --> 00:01:13,602 Johnny, you're rather good at drawing, so, in the style of Braque. 18 00:01:13,647 --> 00:01:15,638 - Braque. - Alan, l don't need to tell you 19 00:01:15,687 --> 00:01:17,006 that you'll be Bosch. 20 00:01:18,607 --> 00:01:21,440 - So, er, that's your task. - What? 21 00:01:21,487 --> 00:01:24,001 Hieronymus Bosch? Painted scenes of hell. 22 00:01:24,047 --> 00:01:25,639 (Alan) Did he? - Yes. 23 00:01:25,687 --> 00:01:28,679 You don't really have to do it in the style, any old wigwam'll do. 24 00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:32,042 Thank God! 25 00:01:32,087 --> 00:01:34,555 l didn't know what l was gonna do then. 26 00:01:34,607 --> 00:01:36,245 Now, in case you need to be excused, 27 00:01:36,287 --> 00:01:37,845 you need to attract my attention. 28 00:01:37,887 --> 00:01:41,516 - Clive does it like this... - (Vibrating ruler) 29 00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:47,119 - And Phil does it like this... - (Mobile phone ringtone) 30 00:01:47,167 --> 00:01:48,600 And Johnny does it like this... 31 00:01:57,247 --> 00:02:00,876 Alan does it like this... 32 00:02:06,887 --> 00:02:08,639 l'm glad that you went before you came. 33 00:02:08,687 --> 00:02:12,839 You all know me, l'm one of those ''Johnny-jump-up,'' 34 00:02:12,887 --> 00:02:16,357 ''meet-me-in-the-corner'' and ''tickle-my-fancy'' types. 35 00:02:16,407 --> 00:02:18,796 Right? So what am l? 36 00:02:22,887 --> 00:02:25,799 You're the sacked lyricist for Lindisfarne, 37 00:02:25,847 --> 00:02:27,838 because those were the original lyrics for 38 00:02:27,887 --> 00:02:30,447 Meet Me On The Corner, that hit of 1972. 39 00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:32,523 - (Stephen) Does sound like it. - Yes. 40 00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,523 You're a hoarder of many hyphens. 41 00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:37,525 - l am a hoarder of many hyphens. - You've almost got them all. 42 00:02:37,567 --> 00:02:40,001 l could add that l'm also a ''love-idol''. 43 00:02:40,047 --> 00:02:42,083 - Right. - (Clive) Are these fishing flies? 44 00:02:42,127 --> 00:02:44,357 - They're not fishing flies. - (Alan) Roses? 45 00:02:44,407 --> 00:02:47,797 l'm also a ''meet-me-in-the-buttery''. (Chuckles) 46 00:02:47,847 --> 00:02:49,803 Or ''kiss-me-in-the-buttery''. 47 00:02:49,847 --> 00:02:51,439 Are they types of flowers? 48 00:02:51,487 --> 00:02:53,045 They are, all one type of flower, 49 00:02:53,087 --> 00:02:56,716 - also known as ''pink-of-my-John''. - (Laughter) 50 00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:58,439 - l'm not making it up. - Carnations? 51 00:02:58,487 --> 00:02:59,715 - (Stephen) No. - Tulips 52 00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:03,157 No, Johnny might get it, because there's a Shakespearean reference. 53 00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:05,357 ''The flower that men do call love in idleness.'' 54 00:03:05,407 --> 00:03:08,638 - Yes. ''Some dead men's fingers call.'' - lt's in Romeo and Juliet. 55 00:03:08,687 --> 00:03:10,882 - No. The Dream. - (Clive) The Dream. 56 00:03:10,927 --> 00:03:12,599 - Midsummer Night's Dream. - Oh yes. 57 00:03:12,647 --> 00:03:15,639 Come back, you've all floated up like in a balloon above us. 58 00:03:15,687 --> 00:03:19,157 So it's a flower called ''kiss-me-in-the-buttery'', ''jump-up-Jack'', 59 00:03:19,207 --> 00:03:22,836 ''tickle-my-fancy'', ''love in idleness'', ''heart's ease'', ''pink-my-John''. 60 00:03:25,327 --> 00:03:28,046 - What am l, if l'm all those things? - (Alan) Forget-me-not. 61 00:03:28,087 --> 00:03:30,806 - Pansy. - (Stephen) Pansy, yes! 62 00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:33,964 - l am a wild pansy. - (Alan) You are, aren't you. 63 00:03:34,007 --> 00:03:36,362 And there are more folk names for the wild pansy, 64 00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:37,840 than for every other flower. 65 00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:40,685 The word pansy actually comes from the French ''pensée'', 66 00:03:40,727 --> 00:03:43,116 it's a thought or an idea, 67 00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:45,397 because they're supposedly good for the memory. 68 00:03:45,447 --> 00:03:46,721 (Alan) What, eating them? 69 00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:50,680 Well, yes, indeed, a refreshing tea, supposed to be good for the complexion, 70 00:03:50,727 --> 00:03:53,685 and clearing phlegm can be made from pansies. 71 00:03:53,727 --> 00:03:56,844 And yet Pascal's book, Pansies, didn't sell very well, did it? 72 00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:02,321 One person in the audience knows that Blaise Pascal, 73 00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:09,205 There were 200 names for the wild pansy at the last count. 74 00:04:09,247 --> 00:04:12,125 That was, of course, a question about botany, 75 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,317 so your next question is, what is bottomry? 76 00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:18,679 - (Vibrating Ruler) - lt's the opposite of topiary. 77 00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:24,723 - (Stephen) Very good. - You take a... 78 00:04:25,447 --> 00:04:28,723 Topiary, as you will know, is you take a tree or a bush, 79 00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:31,839 or whatever, and you shape it into a beautiful shape. 80 00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:34,082 - (Stephen) Absolutely. - An animal, or something. 81 00:04:34,127 --> 00:04:37,597 Bottomry is the opposite, when you see a tree that looks like a horse 82 00:04:37,647 --> 00:04:40,002 and then you cut it back to look like a wild tree. 83 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,436 lt's...lt's not much fun, to be honest... 84 00:04:44,527 --> 00:04:47,678 Um, there's... another argument for it, 85 00:04:47,727 --> 00:04:51,879 that it's the website in Tokyo for all the Japanese men, 86 00:04:51,927 --> 00:04:54,487 who are crazy about Virginia Bottomley. 87 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:58,679 - (Laughter) - And they go ''Bottomry! Bottomry...'' 88 00:05:04,207 --> 00:05:06,357 (Vibrating ruler) (Clive) l know what this is. 89 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,523 Was it in France - ''droit de seigneur'' - 90 00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:11,240 when the local lord had a right to have his evil way 91 00:05:11,287 --> 00:05:14,279 with any girl or milkmaid in the village. 92 00:05:14,327 --> 00:05:16,602 lf you were a minor lord or a baron or something, 93 00:05:16,647 --> 00:05:20,799 you had a right of bottomry, you could just slap them on the bottom, 94 00:05:20,847 --> 00:05:23,315 that was all you were entitled to, no more than that. 95 00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:25,403 ln a nice way, if there is such a thing, 96 00:05:25,447 --> 00:05:29,406 which l deplore... l would... These days absolutely forbotten. But... 97 00:05:29,447 --> 00:05:32,598 (Stephen) Forbotten? (Clive) Yeah, Forbotten. 98 00:05:32,647 --> 00:05:35,207 - No, bottom being a ship in this case. - A ship? 99 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:38,239 (Stephen) You sort of mortgage the ship in order to raise money, 100 00:05:38,287 --> 00:05:40,596 to go off on a trading voyage or merchant ventures. 101 00:05:40,647 --> 00:05:42,239 Yeah, they call ships ''bottoms''. 102 00:05:42,287 --> 00:05:45,199 The ships are called bottoms in the marine commerce world. 103 00:05:45,247 --> 00:05:48,444 Of course there's a line in Henry V, from the chorus, 104 00:05:48,487 --> 00:05:52,116 before they set off for France, where Shakespeare talks about them 105 00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:54,044 drawing their bottoms through the water. 106 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,920 He's referring to the ships, not to the soldiers. 107 00:05:56,967 --> 00:05:59,640 Excellent. Now, next question, then. 108 00:05:59,687 --> 00:06:02,838 So, what did Buffalo Bill do to buffaloes? 109 00:06:04,327 --> 00:06:07,603 l don't actually know the answer to this but what l do know, is that... 110 00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:12,923 ..my grandmother was born in 1875, 111 00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:15,640 and she saw Buffalo Bill and Annie Oakley... 112 00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:18,565 - (Alan) Down the shops. - Not d... No. 113 00:06:18,607 --> 00:06:21,075 She might have done and not been aware of the fact. 114 00:06:21,127 --> 00:06:26,076 - (Stephen) She saw his Wild West show? - Yes, at the Kelvin Hall in 1892. 115 00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:29,676 - (Vibrating ruler) - That's the sound of a hurtling arrow. 116 00:06:29,727 --> 00:06:32,844 l hope l've got the right drift on this but l think l can see a trap, 117 00:06:32,887 --> 00:06:36,163 The American buffalo isn't strictly speaking a buffalo, it's a bison. 118 00:06:36,207 --> 00:06:38,516 - You're absolutely... - So he did nothing with... 119 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,762 (Stephen) You're absolutely spot on, indeed, 120 00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:42,957 - he should've been called Bison Bill. - Yes. 121 00:06:43,007 --> 00:06:46,841 They're not buffaloes, or even related to the two kinds of buffalo that exist. 122 00:06:46,887 --> 00:06:49,799 At a philosophical level, which l know you like to operate at, 123 00:06:49,847 --> 00:06:52,156 - if something is called... - (Stephen) l agree... 124 00:06:52,207 --> 00:06:55,961 lf they are called buffalo... lt's like the Bayeux Tapestry, 125 00:06:56,007 --> 00:06:59,158 strictly speaking, isn't a tapestry. But it's the only tapestry - 126 00:06:59,207 --> 00:07:01,516 it was an embroidery - but it's the only one we know, 127 00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:04,525 So, if you say, ''That isn't a tapestry'', what shall we do? 128 00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:07,240 These are the only buffalo we come across... 129 00:07:07,287 --> 00:07:11,200 - Apart from water buffalo, in Asia, - ln Africa, you see buffalo. 130 00:07:11,247 --> 00:07:13,886 My wigwam is (BEEP)...ing huge! 131 00:07:13,927 --> 00:07:16,157 - (Laughter) - (John) l was in the city of Buffalo, 132 00:07:16,207 --> 00:07:18,084 when l heard of the death of Elvis Presley. 133 00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:21,164 - (Clive) lt should've been the city of Bison. - lt should. 134 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:24,199 (Stephen) There they are. (Clive) The buffalo's on the right. 135 00:07:24,247 --> 00:07:26,442 (Alan) lts ears are really low down. 136 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:29,240 - (Stephen) Aren't they? - They're well below the eyes, 137 00:07:29,287 --> 00:07:30,481 right by the nose. 138 00:07:30,527 --> 00:07:33,405 (Clive) lt likes to keep its ears close to the ground. 139 00:07:33,447 --> 00:07:36,519 - (Alan) lts ears are there. - Why is the one on the right wearing... 140 00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:39,161 - an advocate's wig? - (Laughter) 141 00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:43,398 - But he killed a load of them... - (Stephen) An astonishing number, 142 00:07:43,447 --> 00:07:47,042 ln 18 months he killed 4,280 bison. 143 00:07:47,087 --> 00:07:48,122 Why? 144 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,886 Well, he used to work for the Pony Express as a boy, 145 00:07:50,927 --> 00:07:54,636 and this is a rather good letter, or advertisement the Pony Express took... 146 00:07:54,687 --> 00:07:58,919 - (Clive) Arckle used to write for that. - This is the ad. 147 00:07:58,967 --> 00:08:03,040 ''Wanted - young, skinny, wiry fellows, not over 18, 148 00:08:03,087 --> 00:08:06,159 ''Must be expert riders, willing to risk death daily.'' 149 00:08:06,207 --> 00:08:08,198 (Alan) You wrote that. 150 00:08:14,887 --> 00:08:17,276 - You wish you had. - (Stephen) lt goes on. 151 00:08:17,327 --> 00:08:20,239 - (Laughter) - ''Orphans preferred.'' 152 00:08:20,287 --> 00:08:22,881 (Laughter) (Alan) You won't get sued. 153 00:08:22,927 --> 00:08:24,121 ''Wages $25 a week.'' 154 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:28,683 Well, anyway, that only lasted... it only lasted 19 months, 155 00:08:28,727 --> 00:08:30,763 the Pony Express, because of the railways, 156 00:08:30,807 --> 00:08:35,358 and the Kansas-Pacific Railway needed food for its workers 157 00:08:35,407 --> 00:08:38,365 and so they employed Buffalo Bill to kill bison, 158 00:08:38,407 --> 00:08:41,399 or buffalo as they call them, to feed the construction crews. 159 00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:45,042 But in Dances With Wolves, they just kill buffalo for fun. 160 00:08:45,087 --> 00:08:48,443 The native Americans, the lndians - whatever you prefer to call them - 161 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,399 used to lure them over cliffs, which was their way of killing a lot. 162 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:54,280 They used the hides and meat, so they didn't kill them for fun. 163 00:08:54,327 --> 00:08:57,524 They only lured exactly the right number that they needed... 164 00:08:57,567 --> 00:09:00,798 No, they didn't. Don't have that sentimental view of them - 165 00:09:00,847 --> 00:09:05,125 we're nasty but all native American tribes are peace-loving philosophers. 166 00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:07,727 We were all like drunk and badly behaved, 167 00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:11,203 - They'd never lure a pregnant one over. - (Laughter) 168 00:09:11,247 --> 00:09:14,284 The way they lured them over was to cause them to stampede, 169 00:09:14,327 --> 00:09:17,239 and once they're stampeding, they all go mindlessly. 170 00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:20,085 When they had enough, then they'd go, ''Stop!'' 171 00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:23,601 lt was that moment when... When's a stampede over? 172 00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:27,117 you know, you're stampeding and then you're not stampeding. 173 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,156 That nice, gentle... 174 00:09:28,207 --> 00:09:31,756 When you hit the ground at the end of the cliff, you know it's over. 175 00:09:31,807 --> 00:09:34,958 (Alan) lf you're at the front you've got to keep stampeding 176 00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,362 because everyone behind is stampeding. 177 00:09:37,407 --> 00:09:39,841 lf you stop, boom! Straight over you. 178 00:09:39,887 --> 00:09:42,640 May l come to the aid of the hippy party here? 179 00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:44,996 These buffaloes, or bison, 180 00:09:45,047 --> 00:09:47,845 they lived quite happily with the American lndians, 181 00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:49,639 eating a few, killing a few, 182 00:09:49,687 --> 00:09:52,042 and then they were got rid of and replaced with cows. 183 00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:56,205 And the cows have caused a dust-bowl in that part of America, twice now. 184 00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:59,717 They're discovering the only thing to have there are bison, 185 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,964 - so they're re-introducing bison. - And crossing them with cattle... 186 00:10:03,007 --> 00:10:07,000 - What they go up to in their private life... - (Laughter) 187 00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:09,197 From 60 million bison in the 1 7th century, 188 00:10:09,247 --> 00:10:11,761 they went to just a few hundred in the late 19th century. 189 00:10:11,807 --> 00:10:13,718 There are now about fifty thousand. 190 00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:15,166 l'll read the next question. 191 00:10:15,207 --> 00:10:17,641 Buffalo Bill's famous Wild West Show, 192 00:10:17,687 --> 00:10:21,919 included a famous Native American chief, Sitting Bull, 193 00:10:21,967 --> 00:10:24,481 Sitting Buffalo Bull, who, of course, defeated Custer 194 00:10:24,527 --> 00:10:26,597 at the Battle of Little Big Horn, 195 00:10:26,647 --> 00:10:28,638 but what was his real name, do you know? 196 00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:30,359 Er, Bison. 197 00:10:30,407 --> 00:10:32,045 lt worked for the last question. 198 00:10:32,087 --> 00:10:34,555 Well they're always named after the first thing 199 00:10:34,607 --> 00:10:36,837 that the squaw sees when she... 200 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,560 (Alan) Two dogs (Beep)-ing, that's the term. 201 00:10:39,607 --> 00:10:43,202 l was gonna let the audience think of that joke for themselves. 202 00:10:43,247 --> 00:10:45,363 Well, Buffalo Bill, although he's always,.. 203 00:10:45,407 --> 00:10:48,160 He had to kill thousands of buffalo or bison, 204 00:10:48,207 --> 00:10:51,722 in order to acquire the nickname Buffalo, to go with the rather dull name Bill. 205 00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:54,725 But old Sitting Bull, all he had to do was sit around a lot... 206 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,281 - and talk, you know, rubbish... - (Alan) Hang on... 207 00:10:57,327 --> 00:11:00,717 - bulls don't sit. - (Laughter) 208 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,723 - Do they? - Ferdinand did. 209 00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:04,359 - Ferdinand? - (Clive) Ferdinand? 210 00:11:04,407 --> 00:11:06,716 (Stephen) Ferdinand the bull. (Clive) Oh, yes... 211 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,565 He used to sit under the cork trees, smelling the flowers. 212 00:11:09,607 --> 00:11:11,279 (Clive) And then a bee got him. 213 00:11:13,767 --> 00:11:15,803 - What?! - lt's a book. 214 00:11:15,847 --> 00:11:20,079 lt's a book you happen not to have read, it doesn't make us mad that we have. 215 00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:22,561 Because the bee stung him, he ran around like crazy 216 00:11:22,607 --> 00:11:25,644 and they thought he's a fine bull. Then they got him the bull ring... 217 00:11:25,687 --> 00:11:27,757 - lt's a children's classic. - (Alan) Called? 218 00:11:27,807 --> 00:11:29,525 Ferdinand the Bull. Yeah. 219 00:11:29,567 --> 00:11:33,765 (Clive) Ferdinand forgets to take his drugs test and is disqualified... 220 00:11:33,807 --> 00:11:35,798 - from the bull fight. - (Stephen) Exactly. 221 00:11:35,847 --> 00:11:40,045 Bulls sit down when it's going to rain, don't they? 222 00:11:40,087 --> 00:11:42,442 - Yes, supposedly. - Yes, very much like cows. 223 00:11:42,487 --> 00:11:45,479 - (Alan) So they have a dry patch? - Yeah. 224 00:11:45,527 --> 00:11:47,802 - (Laughter) - lf you like, well... 225 00:11:47,847 --> 00:11:49,838 (Alan) Standing Cow, he was called. 226 00:11:49,887 --> 00:11:52,447 Actually, he was called Jumping Badger, 227 00:11:54,007 --> 00:11:56,601 He acquired his father's name when he was a teenager, 228 00:11:56,647 --> 00:11:58,126 his father was Sitting Bull, 229 00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,885 and because he'd done great exploits, 230 00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:03,158 he'd killed his first buffalo/bison at the age of ten, 231 00:12:03,207 --> 00:12:05,721 and then he took part in a raiding party 232 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,327 on a crow lndian settlement, and was a great hero, 233 00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:10,517 and his father gave him his name, Sitting Bull. 234 00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:15,118 His mother was called Her Holy Door, interestingly. 235 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,761 They were rubbish at names in that family. 236 00:12:17,807 --> 00:12:21,402 Sitting Bull was scarcely OK but Jumping Badger! 237 00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:24,280 Why Dad? There was a film character, 238 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,716 he was very popular with your mother. 239 00:12:28,487 --> 00:12:31,081 Who made pots and pots from Bill and Ben? 240 00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:37,721 - l think that somebody like... - (Alan) Weeeee... 241 00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:43,197 - You do Bill and Ben now. - All right, ''flobbadoyl lubbly'' 242 00:12:44,927 --> 00:12:47,077 ls it someone like Greg Dyke or Michael Grade? 243 00:12:47,127 --> 00:12:50,199 - Well, in fact, do you know? - l don't know who it was, 244 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,522 but l mean Greg Dyke did the rat thing, didn't he? 245 00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:54,285 (Alan) Roland Rat. (Stephen) He did. 246 00:12:54,447 --> 00:12:56,244 So that's a good guess, l'd say, for... 247 00:12:56,287 --> 00:12:58,960 Well, it's simply that the BBC have of late, 248 00:12:59,007 --> 00:13:02,602 made two million pounds from video sales of Bill and Ben, 249 00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:05,400 and they paid the creator, Hilda Wright... 250 00:13:05,447 --> 00:13:07,438 the magnificent sum of three guineas. 251 00:13:08,527 --> 00:13:11,564 Three guineas, for the whole thing, which was three radio stories. 252 00:13:11,607 --> 00:13:14,804 She named Bill and Ben after her own, er, brothers, 253 00:13:14,847 --> 00:13:17,919 - l thought you were gonna say breasts. - (Laughter) 254 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,437 She's suffered enough, this woman! 255 00:13:22,487 --> 00:13:25,877 Breasts do kinda go ''flobbalob, flobbalob,'' l'd say, don't they? 256 00:13:25,927 --> 00:13:28,646 And when they were naughty, the mother would say - 257 00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:32,316 or something bad had happened - ''Was it Bill or was it Ben?'' 258 00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:34,517 And that was the catchphrase of the programme. 259 00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:39,157 - And their little sister Phyllis was Weed. - Was it? 260 00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:42,722 The voice of Bill and Ben - in a language which is called ''Flobadob'' - 261 00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:44,837 was a Peter Hawkins, who went on to great fame, 262 00:13:44,887 --> 00:13:47,117 as both a Dalek and a Cyberman. 263 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:50,125 ln 1999 he was Associate Producer on a program called, 264 00:13:50,167 --> 00:13:53,045 The Lifestyle - Group Sex in the Suburbs. 265 00:13:53,087 --> 00:13:56,636 That's where l remember him from then, yes. 266 00:13:56,687 --> 00:13:59,360 (Stephen) But where did this language ''Flobadob'' come from? 267 00:13:59,407 --> 00:14:02,046 lt was their nickname for the sound a fart made in the bath. 268 00:14:02,087 --> 00:14:04,885 - Ah. - lt literally was a flobadob. 269 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,556 Now, what does Billy the Kid have in common with Ben Hur? 270 00:14:08,607 --> 00:14:10,677 - (Mobile Phone ringtone) - Phil? 271 00:14:10,727 --> 00:14:14,640 - Capital B. - l can't really fault you on that. 272 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,518 They have me in common, l know them both, 273 00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:19,445 l've been to where Billy the Kid was shot and l've seen Ben Hur. 274 00:14:19,487 --> 00:14:21,159 Ben Hur is in the Scottish Highlands? 275 00:14:21,207 --> 00:14:24,483 - it's in the Hollywood range. - (John) Ben Affleck. 276 00:14:24,527 --> 00:14:27,166 Glen Close is nearby, they're all up there. 277 00:14:27,207 --> 00:14:29,926 Glen Close! (Chuckles) Do you know who wrote Ben Hur? 278 00:14:29,967 --> 00:14:32,435 - Gore Vidal claims to. - He wrote the screenplay. 279 00:14:32,487 --> 00:14:34,637 - Who wrote the novel? - When was it written? 280 00:14:34,687 --> 00:14:36,678 lt was written in 1880, 281 00:14:36,727 --> 00:14:38,638 - or published in 1880. - (Alan) ln America 282 00:14:38,687 --> 00:14:41,076 - (Stephen) ln the United States. - Someone thought, 283 00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:43,925 l'm gonna write a book about Roman chariot racing. 284 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:47,164 Yeah. W-What should he have written about? 285 00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:52,045 ''Ugh, you're writing a book about something that's not particularly close to you! 286 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,802 (BEEP)...ing Shakespeare writing about Romans? God! 287 00:14:57,847 --> 00:15:01,601 (Clive) lt's not only about chariot racing, to take another point... 288 00:15:01,647 --> 00:15:05,560 (Stephen) lt's about Christianity, it's about loyalty and betrayal and friendship, 289 00:15:05,607 --> 00:15:08,280 - and all kinds of things. But anyway... - (Clive) Leprosy. 290 00:15:08,327 --> 00:15:11,239 The phrase ''What are you really angry about?'' springs to mind. 291 00:15:13,807 --> 00:15:16,685 The man was called Lew Wallace, who wrote the novel 292 00:15:16,727 --> 00:15:18,683 and he was governor of New Mexico. 293 00:15:18,727 --> 00:15:23,721 His connection with Billy the Kid, is that he also wrote Billy the Kid's death warrant. 294 00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:25,883 So, while he was being Governor of New Mexico, 295 00:15:25,927 --> 00:15:28,077 he was able to write a best-selling... 296 00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:30,516 ''lt was a warm morning in Rome.'' 297 00:15:34,287 --> 00:15:35,686 (Stephen) What's all that? 298 00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:39,562 There's one other thing l think is interesting, 299 00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:42,599 and it involves a staggeringly hideous name-drop. 300 00:15:42,647 --> 00:15:45,400 l was at the Sundance Film Festival, a few years ago, 301 00:15:45,447 --> 00:15:50,965 when it was my great good luck, to have supper with Robert Redford. And... 302 00:15:59,127 --> 00:16:01,880 lt's a special little forfeit for Johnny, the Luvvie Alarm. 303 00:16:04,727 --> 00:16:07,605 - l told my very close and personal... - (Alan) Do you call him Bob? 304 00:16:07,647 --> 00:16:11,037 - Bobbity is what he prefers. - (Stephen) Bobbity Bedford. 305 00:16:11,087 --> 00:16:14,602 And as l was towelling him down after our bracing game of shuttlecocks... 306 00:16:16,447 --> 00:16:19,996 l happened to mention to him that... that the Sundance Kid - 307 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,959 l don't know if any of you know this, was in fact Welsh. 308 00:16:23,007 --> 00:16:24,963 The family's stock was certainly Welsh. 309 00:16:25,007 --> 00:16:28,204 (Attempted Welsh accent) This town ain't big enough for the both of us. 310 00:16:28,247 --> 00:16:31,603 (Attempted Welsh accent) He's right stuck-up, that Billy the Kid. 311 00:16:31,647 --> 00:16:34,036 ''He's gonna come to no good!'' 312 00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:36,999 Now, from Bills to buildings. 313 00:16:37,047 --> 00:16:39,766 What happens to your thoughts when you go upstairs? 314 00:16:41,407 --> 00:16:43,159 Gravitationally, of course, 315 00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:46,438 the pressure changes, your blood varies in its aspect, 316 00:16:46,487 --> 00:16:47,715 in its circulatory aspect, 317 00:16:47,767 --> 00:16:49,962 so your brain becomes less fuelled by the blood, 318 00:16:50,007 --> 00:16:52,601 affected by altitude and therefore becomes less clever. 319 00:16:52,647 --> 00:16:56,117 And hence hostesses - ''tea/coffee, coffee/tea.'' 320 00:16:58,207 --> 00:17:00,801 (Stephen) That's a very good answer indeed. 321 00:17:00,847 --> 00:17:02,678 - Deep physics. - (Clive) Deep physics. 322 00:17:02,727 --> 00:17:05,287 Deep, deep, real, theoretical physics. 323 00:17:05,327 --> 00:17:07,204 Your thoughts are allowed to float upwards. 324 00:17:07,247 --> 00:17:09,841 They go upwards... they're sucked downwards. 325 00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:13,562 You start thinking about physics, you're so clever ... 326 00:17:13,607 --> 00:17:17,441 They run faster, everything is faster, you breathe faster, metabolism is faster, 327 00:17:17,487 --> 00:17:19,796 because time slows, the weaker the gravity. 328 00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:23,442 Talking of going upstairs in buildings, what is the best floor of a building, 329 00:17:23,487 --> 00:17:25,955 - Out of which to throw...a cat. - (Ringtone) 330 00:17:26,007 --> 00:17:27,281 Blimey, that's impressive. 331 00:17:27,327 --> 00:17:29,682 A lovely mahogany. 332 00:17:29,727 --> 00:17:31,479 (Stephen) A mahogany floor is best. 333 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:40,999 lt's only a guess, l'm guessing, but l reckon it must be about the fifth. 334 00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:43,959 Assuming you're trying to do the cat some harm, 335 00:17:44,007 --> 00:17:47,522 which l would object to but if you want to kill the cat, 336 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:51,480 if it was only the first floor, it would survive because they're very springy animals, 337 00:17:51,527 --> 00:17:53,597 and if you go too far up, l'm guessing, 338 00:17:53,647 --> 00:17:57,037 they form a sort of parachute with their... and they float down. 339 00:17:57,087 --> 00:18:00,762 But the fifth floor would be about right and they'd be still hurtling, 340 00:18:00,807 --> 00:18:05,358 - and the parachute effect wouldn't come in. - Right, but we don't want to harm them, 341 00:18:05,407 --> 00:18:08,080 - we want them to survive. - The very high floor, then. 342 00:18:08,127 --> 00:18:10,595 The seventh, anything higher than the seventh, 343 00:18:10,647 --> 00:18:15,277 They experimented by studying, not by throwing cats out of the window, 344 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:19,525 They studied 132 cases of cats falling out of windows in New York - 345 00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:22,559 the American Veterinary Centre - 132 cases of cats falling, 346 00:18:22,607 --> 00:18:24,916 or being pushed out of windows and surviving. 347 00:18:26,207 --> 00:18:29,165 (Stephen) And the injury rate went up. 348 00:18:31,127 --> 00:18:33,163 The averages were about the fifth floor. 349 00:18:33,207 --> 00:18:36,836 The higher you went towards the fifth floor, the more injuries there were, 350 00:18:36,887 --> 00:18:39,720 but the moment you got to seven, the fewer injuries. 351 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:43,601 Because they reach a terminal velocity, of sixty miles an hour, from whatever floor - 352 00:18:43,647 --> 00:18:46,036 from an aeroplane, cats have survived - 353 00:18:46,087 --> 00:18:49,238 and like a squirrel they spread themselves out and parachute, 354 00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:52,999 Out of the sixth floor they haven't time 355 00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:57,438 to get to that terminal speed and to get the position right. 356 00:18:58,527 --> 00:19:01,087 (Clive) Have they done this with other animals? 357 00:19:01,127 --> 00:19:04,324 - Have they done hamsters, dogs? - (Stephen) l'm not sure. 358 00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:07,279 Cows, l'd like to see them do cows. 359 00:19:12,807 --> 00:19:15,275 (Stephen) A man in Shropshire catapults cows, 360 00:19:15,327 --> 00:19:18,125 he puts them on a catapult and flies them through the air, 361 00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:19,600 hundreds of yards. 362 00:19:19,647 --> 00:19:22,684 (Clive) Does that not harm them? (Stephen) Dead cows. 363 00:19:22,727 --> 00:19:24,922 - Meat, you mean. - But l would urge people at home 364 00:19:24,967 --> 00:19:27,481 not to try it with your cat, if you're a young person. 365 00:19:27,527 --> 00:19:29,882 Not, er, because it isn't valuable and scientific, 366 00:19:29,927 --> 00:19:35,479 but because of the mad letters l get from (BEEP)...ing cat people if l mention one. 367 00:19:35,527 --> 00:19:40,647 Do not throw your cat off anything, just let them be is the answer. 368 00:19:40,687 --> 00:19:44,726 Or at least not from lower than the seventh floor. 369 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,156 That's the idea. So, General lgnorance. 370 00:19:47,207 --> 00:19:51,200 What is the commonest material in the world? 371 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,795 (Clive) Jim Davidsons. 372 00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:59,285 (Stephen) Very good indeed. 373 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,959 You must have a real answer. 374 00:20:02,007 --> 00:20:05,556 - No, l can't better that, that was it. - (Clive) Oxygen. 375 00:20:05,607 --> 00:20:07,598 (Stephen) Material as a substance (Alarm) 376 00:20:07,647 --> 00:20:10,320 (Clive) What did l say? (Stephen) Did you say oxygen? 377 00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:13,040 - (Clive) Damn. - Substance, material matter. 378 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:16,762 - (Alan) Water. - (Alarm) 379 00:20:16,807 --> 00:20:18,604 (Phil) l think it's just matter. 380 00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:20,763 lt's perovskite. 381 00:20:23,407 --> 00:20:25,841 That was on the tip of my tongue. 382 00:20:27,247 --> 00:20:30,239 Named after Count Lev Perovski, a mineralogist, 383 00:20:30,287 --> 00:20:32,755 A mineral compound of magnesium, silicon and oxygen, 384 00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:34,957 and accounts for half the planet's total mass. 385 00:20:35,007 --> 00:20:37,805 lt's what the earth's mantel is supposedly mostly made from, 386 00:20:37,847 --> 00:20:41,522 He reckoned he'd be famous by giving his name to the most common stuff 387 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,159 and no one's heard of him. 388 00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:48,117 He's got such a good name for a scientist who discovered things 389 00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:49,839 and probably had a wonderful accent, 390 00:20:49,887 --> 00:20:51,764 just the same as the man who used to go, 391 00:20:51,807 --> 00:20:54,765 ''lncredible, tyrannosaurus rex.'' you know. 392 00:20:54,807 --> 00:20:56,798 Heinz Wolff. 393 00:20:56,847 --> 00:20:58,758 Yes, it's like Heinz Wolff, exactly. 394 00:20:58,807 --> 00:21:01,958 ''Yes, a very elegant solution to a problem, as always...'' 395 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,917 ''That little bow tie, always, yes'' 396 00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:11,518 Now, what happened to Pompeii in 63 AD? 397 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,325 - (Laughs) His eyes narrow. - (Clive) Ah, yes. 398 00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:23,006 - l've been to Vesuvius. - (Stephen) Have you? 399 00:21:23,047 --> 00:21:25,436 - (Laughter) - What happened to Pompeii? 400 00:21:25,487 --> 00:21:26,966 l'm really trying to remember. 401 00:21:27,007 --> 00:21:28,520 - ls there a time limit? - (Ruler) 402 00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:31,798 l can't remember if that's when it got covered in lava. 403 00:21:31,847 --> 00:21:33,724 (Clive) They had an earthquake before. 404 00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:36,679 (Stephen) Quite right, it was destroyed by an earthquake 405 00:21:36,727 --> 00:21:40,163 and they'd just started to rebuild it when 12, 14 years later, in 79 AD... 406 00:21:40,207 --> 00:21:43,438 Oh, l bet the air was blue when that thing went off. 407 00:21:43,487 --> 00:21:45,478 ''l have just-a finished it! 408 00:21:46,567 --> 00:21:50,526 '' l cannot believe it, it's all finished now.'' 409 00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:51,966 The air was actually black. 410 00:21:52,007 --> 00:21:56,842 ''All the tiles, l just put the tiles up. Oh ho ho'' 411 00:21:58,047 --> 00:21:59,844 One of the things that was preserved, 412 00:21:59,887 --> 00:22:03,084 almost every household had an extraordinary number of pots of plaster, 413 00:22:03,127 --> 00:22:04,924 because they were re-plastering... 414 00:22:04,967 --> 00:22:07,322 - Artexing the inside. - Artexing the inside, 415 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:10,165 - Expecting another earthquake. - You can walk across, 416 00:22:10,207 --> 00:22:14,246 there's a sulphur crust, which is about that thick. 417 00:22:14,287 --> 00:22:16,596 and there are places where it's fallen through... 418 00:22:16,647 --> 00:22:20,765 - (Clive) ls this a type of pizza? - And it's going, ''Bloop, bloop.'' Big bubbles. 419 00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:23,002 - (Stephen) Extraordinary. - There are fences 420 00:22:23,047 --> 00:22:26,676 and you go across in your school party, and they say, 421 00:22:26,727 --> 00:22:30,436 ''Go in pairs, not in big clusters, you might go through.'' 422 00:22:30,487 --> 00:22:33,957 ''And don't... '' They say to you, they say this to a school party from Essex, 423 00:22:34,007 --> 00:22:36,601 ''Don't jump up and down.'' 424 00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:40,640 Oh, what's a mistake! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 425 00:22:40,687 --> 00:22:42,837 Have they never heard of, reverse psychology? 426 00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:45,879 What did you say that for?! 427 00:22:45,927 --> 00:22:47,440 This is the kids at the back... 428 00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:54,558 - Certain death. - (Stephen) Oh, lordy Lord. 429 00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:56,723 So it's gonna go again is it? lt's about to... 430 00:22:56,767 --> 00:22:59,679 Well it's really, really overdue, massively overdue. 431 00:22:59,727 --> 00:23:02,525 Can you imagine, being an estate agent trying to sell a house, 432 00:23:02,567 --> 00:23:04,364 and then there's lava coming towards... 433 00:23:04,407 --> 00:23:07,046 lmagine how good you'd have to be to sell all the houses... 434 00:23:07,087 --> 00:23:09,555 (Alan, quickly) Here's the keys, thank you very much. 435 00:23:09,607 --> 00:23:12,917 (Stephen) lt's not central heating, it's exterior heating. 436 00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:17,643 Didn't the Phoenicians... Phoenician civilisation, end the same way? 437 00:23:17,687 --> 00:23:19,518 ''lt's a volcano, we're phoeneeshed.'' 438 00:23:22,207 --> 00:23:25,916 Still in Rome, how did Roman emperors order the death of a gladiator? 439 00:23:28,727 --> 00:23:30,683 No, you're right, it was a trap. 440 00:23:30,727 --> 00:23:33,560 They didn't put their thumbs down, they put their thumbs up. 441 00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:36,917 (Mexican accent) ''Take him out and kill him.'' 442 00:23:38,007 --> 00:23:40,362 ''Hey gladiator!'' - (Laughter) 443 00:23:40,407 --> 00:23:43,797 ''lt is over for you-u.'' 444 00:23:43,847 --> 00:23:45,724 lt's all right to joke about it 445 00:23:45,767 --> 00:23:48,042 but it was life and death to some poor gladiator. 446 00:23:48,087 --> 00:23:49,964 (Stephen) Exactly, they ought to know. 447 00:23:50,007 --> 00:23:52,316 Why do they go like that in the films, then? 448 00:23:52,367 --> 00:23:54,881 Well, because we have this up and down idea, and... 449 00:23:54,927 --> 00:23:58,283 So when we go like that, we mean death to you. 450 00:23:58,327 --> 00:24:01,205 So what was the saving symbol? Did they have one? 451 00:24:01,247 --> 00:24:05,320 lt was called pollex compressus, where you put the thumb, 452 00:24:05,367 --> 00:24:08,996 the pollex in that way, as opposed to pollex infestus... 453 00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:11,038 A little mouth and eyes on as well... 454 00:24:12,007 --> 00:24:13,804 To this day, that's the rudest thing 455 00:24:13,847 --> 00:24:15,678 - you can do in Sicily. - (Stephen) ls it? 456 00:24:15,727 --> 00:24:18,195 Which is why so many hitchhikers are killed. 457 00:24:18,247 --> 00:24:20,158 - Really? - They stand by the road like that 458 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:25,676 Russell Crowe, he's going for the knob there, isn't he? 459 00:24:25,727 --> 00:24:28,366 - (Stephen) The knob shot. - He's gonna to bite it off. 460 00:24:28,407 --> 00:24:31,604 (Stephen) He's holding his gladius, which is why they're gladiators 461 00:24:31,647 --> 00:24:33,763 Small flattish sword. 462 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:36,241 Now were the Romans really the only people 463 00:24:36,287 --> 00:24:39,643 who had that kind of men killing each other for sport? 464 00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:42,963 Very interesting question, l've never heard of it in Chinese culture. 465 00:24:43,007 --> 00:24:45,680 - Other cultures? - (Clive) The Greeks didn't do it. 466 00:24:45,727 --> 00:24:48,958 They had naked wrestling instead, which is much more the thing. 467 00:24:50,407 --> 00:24:53,877 What was the name of the organisation the Americans fought in Vietnam? 468 00:24:53,927 --> 00:24:56,236 - The Vietcong, the Gooks? - (Alarm) 469 00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:59,359 (Stephen) No. We want the proper name of the organisation, 470 00:24:59,407 --> 00:25:01,716 Even l can work out that, when you know the answer, 471 00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:05,760 never give it because it's always the one they're hoping we'll say. 472 00:25:05,807 --> 00:25:08,799 Gooks and Charlie and Vietcong are all made up by Americans. 473 00:25:08,847 --> 00:25:11,236 The Vietcong doesn't exist, it was made up by the ClA. 474 00:25:11,287 --> 00:25:13,517 Vietnamese People's Liberation Front? 475 00:25:13,567 --> 00:25:15,797 - Which was known as? - Vietnamese Popular Army. 476 00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:18,566 (Alan) PLO, PLF, Tooting Popular Front. 477 00:25:19,847 --> 00:25:22,042 - lt's the name of their great hero. - Ho Chi Minh. 478 00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:26,683 (Stephen) Ho Chi Minh Viet Minh, (Clive in silly voice) Viet Minh, ah. 479 00:25:27,607 --> 00:25:31,725 The Americans gave a huge amount of money to the Viet Minh, 480 00:25:31,767 --> 00:25:33,917 because at one point they were on the same side. 481 00:25:33,967 --> 00:25:35,923 Never heard of this happening, ridiculous! 482 00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:37,878 And then having armed them to the teeth, 483 00:25:37,927 --> 00:25:41,397 the war then ends and again, a huge historical surprise here, 484 00:25:41,447 --> 00:25:45,360 the French surrender, extraordinary, to Ho Chi Minh, 485 00:25:45,407 --> 00:25:48,922 in 1954, and that's the end of their rule in lndo-China. 486 00:25:48,967 --> 00:25:52,084 And the Americans are fighting them with the weapons they gave them 487 00:25:52,127 --> 00:25:53,685 just ten years earlier. 488 00:25:53,727 --> 00:25:56,924 But what is this term Vietcong? ls that supposed to be a term of abuse... 489 00:25:56,967 --> 00:26:00,676 Yes, the ClA believed it sounded more kind of menacing and ugly 490 00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:03,002 and also associated with communism, 491 00:26:03,047 --> 00:26:05,641 - Vietcong, communists. - Minh doesn't sound good either. 492 00:26:05,687 --> 00:26:07,518 ''Hello, white boy, you want slippy slippy?'' 493 00:26:11,607 --> 00:26:13,802 ''l'm sorry, l'm a missionary.'' 494 00:26:14,927 --> 00:26:17,600 ls there a nationality that hasn't been cruelly abused 495 00:26:17,647 --> 00:26:19,046 in the course of this half hour? 496 00:26:22,047 --> 00:26:26,086 So was King Kong his real name, or was it really King Minh? 497 00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:28,243 Oddly enough, the Danish for King is Kong, 498 00:26:28,287 --> 00:26:31,085 so in Denmark the film is called Kong King. 499 00:26:33,207 --> 00:26:35,846 lt's time to hold up your work, please, and be judged. 500 00:26:35,887 --> 00:26:38,526 (Alan) Look at my buffalo. 501 00:26:38,567 --> 00:26:40,876 (Stephen) A good buffalo. There's the wigwam. 502 00:26:40,927 --> 00:26:42,963 (Stephen) Oh, and there's Johnny's. 503 00:26:43,007 --> 00:26:45,919 - That is a Cubist wigwam. - (Audience) Ooh! 504 00:26:50,847 --> 00:26:52,405 A slight vari... l misunderstood, 505 00:26:52,447 --> 00:26:55,007 l've got Whamwigs, this is George Michael 506 00:26:55,047 --> 00:26:57,356 and Andrew Ridgeley, 507 00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:59,682 - and they're wearing wigs - (Applause) 508 00:26:59,727 --> 00:27:02,241 - What's wrong with that? - (Stephen) Very good indeed. 509 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,437 Very good, and what have you got there? 510 00:27:04,487 --> 00:27:06,637 Oh, this is William Blake's, you know, God. 511 00:27:06,687 --> 00:27:09,679 But God as a white man with a holster on, man, yeah. 512 00:27:09,727 --> 00:27:13,515 A tiny wigwam - these are the red lndians, that's the blue lndian, the beige lndian, 513 00:27:13,567 --> 00:27:15,205 and this is thunder and stuff. 514 00:27:15,247 --> 00:27:16,566 lt's very apocalyptic, 515 00:27:16,607 --> 00:27:19,041 l'm sorry that nobody did a wigwam, though. 516 00:27:20,407 --> 00:27:25,003 (Stephen) No, that's not a wigwam. That's a tepee, you've done tepees. 517 00:27:25,047 --> 00:27:26,446 What's the difference then? 518 00:27:26,487 --> 00:27:28,159 l'll show you a picture of a wigwam. 519 00:27:30,087 --> 00:27:32,476 (Clive) lt's a haystack. 520 00:27:32,527 --> 00:27:35,166 That's not very polite to the eastern Native Americans, 521 00:27:35,207 --> 00:27:38,085 who, that's where they lived. The plains lndian lived in the... 522 00:27:38,127 --> 00:27:39,958 Buffalo hide and the sticks poking up, 523 00:27:41,247 --> 00:27:42,919 So, what do you think the scores are? 524 00:27:42,967 --> 00:27:46,596 My goodness, we have a clear winner and we'll go from first to last, l think. 525 00:27:46,647 --> 00:27:50,356 Clive, runaway winner with one point, fantastic! 526 00:27:52,607 --> 00:27:55,565 - Phil's second with zero. - (Applause) 527 00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:57,643 - Johnny third with minus ten. - (Applause) 528 00:27:57,687 --> 00:28:00,076 And way out the back there, with minus twenty six, 529 00:28:08,567 --> 00:28:10,364 That's it from Ql this week, 530 00:28:10,407 --> 00:28:16,482 and so from Clobalob, Philalob, Jobalob and Alan Daviesalobolob, 531 00:28:16,527 --> 00:28:19,405 and from little meeee, good night. Good night. 532 00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:20,641 (Applause) 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net