1 00:00:24,147 --> 00:00:26,138 (Applause) 2 00:00:26,187 --> 00:00:28,178 (Cheering and whistling) 3 00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:37,586 Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, 4 00:00:37,627 --> 00:00:40,425 and welcome to Ql, for another thoughtful rummage 5 00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:42,981 through the great laundry basket of life. 6 00:00:43,027 --> 00:00:44,745 Who knows what mismatched 7 00:00:44,787 --> 00:00:47,620 and shrunken oddities we will happen upon tonight? 8 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,942 Delving alongside me this evening are... 9 00:00:49,987 --> 00:00:51,978 Alan Davies. 10 00:00:52,907 --> 00:00:55,137 Rich Hall. 11 00:00:57,667 --> 00:00:59,658 Sean Lock. 12 00:01:00,707 --> 00:01:02,937 And Jeremy Clarkson. 13 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,627 Now, tonight's questions are completely barking, 14 00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:11,146 so we have buzzers to match. 15 00:01:11,187 --> 00:01:14,463 - Sean goes... - (Big dog barking) 16 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:18,056 - And Jeremy goes... - (Dog growling) 17 00:01:18,107 --> 00:01:21,622 - Rich goes... - (Dog howling) 18 00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:22,816 And Alan goes... 19 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:26,177 (Little dog yapping) 20 00:01:26,227 --> 00:01:27,819 (Stephen) Ahh. 21 00:01:29,187 --> 00:01:33,942 And we start tonight with Alan's favourite subject, which is the Ancient Greeks. 22 00:01:34,787 --> 00:01:37,859 Now, the Greeks joined up the dots of the night sky 23 00:01:37,907 --> 00:01:41,695 into vast imaginary figures, rather like this. 24 00:01:41,747 --> 00:01:45,183 ln tonight's constellation competition, panel... 25 00:01:45,227 --> 00:01:52,224 That is... At no point does it resemble the scales in any way. 26 00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:54,861 So there we have a famous constellation, Libra, 27 00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:57,102 one of the Zodiac constellations, as l'm sure you know. 28 00:01:57,147 --> 00:02:02,619 Your challenge, team, is to make a constellation. 29 00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:04,623 And you have to join them together 30 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,942 using your skill and judgement, 31 00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:10,696 throughout the joyous half hour that lies before us, 32 00:02:10,747 --> 00:02:13,181 like a desert stretching into infinity. 33 00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,377 You have a silver pen. 34 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,543 My pen's run out. 35 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:22,902 My goodness me, the nation's going to be on tenterhooks. 36 00:02:22,947 --> 00:02:25,780 Well, so, Jeremy, 37 00:02:25,827 --> 00:02:30,105 how long would it take you to drive to outer space? 38 00:02:30,147 --> 00:02:31,136 Outer space? 39 00:02:31,187 --> 00:02:34,145 Yes, outer space, what is officially outer space. 40 00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:37,941 That's, er, 23 minutes. 41 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:43,866 - l can believe that, actually. - ls outer space outer as in from earth, 42 00:02:43,907 --> 00:02:46,057 - or is it from the sun? - No, from... 43 00:02:46,107 --> 00:02:48,667 lt's just from us, and it's just above where l am. 44 00:02:48,707 --> 00:02:51,062 - ls it? - lf you're tall, l'm nearly at the edge. 45 00:02:52,427 --> 00:02:55,817 - And it's 600 miles... - (Stephen) lt's actually... 46 00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:58,700 (Jeremy)... to the top of the ionosphere, 47 00:02:58,747 --> 00:03:01,864 and that's widely considered to be the start of space, 48 00:03:01,907 --> 00:03:05,058 but whether that's considered to be outer space, l don't know. 49 00:03:05,107 --> 00:03:09,419 No, outer space begins, according to the Féderation lnternationale d'Espace, 50 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:12,664 - or something... - Who are French. 51 00:03:12,707 --> 00:03:15,301 lt's actually only 62 miles to outer space. 52 00:03:15,347 --> 00:03:17,178 - Straight up. - No, it isn't. 53 00:03:17,227 --> 00:03:19,422 Oh, OK. 54 00:03:19,947 --> 00:03:21,903 Wouldn't it depend on the traffic? 55 00:03:23,907 --> 00:03:27,343 62 miles is what you're saying is outer space. 56 00:03:27,387 --> 00:03:29,105 There was a man called Joe Kittinger 57 00:03:29,147 --> 00:03:32,776 who once jumped out of a hot air balloon at that height, in 1961. 58 00:03:32,827 --> 00:03:35,022 (Rich) Oh, dead Joe Kittinger? 59 00:03:42,587 --> 00:03:45,306 - lf l can just flag up one small thing. - (Jeremy) Go on. 60 00:03:45,347 --> 00:03:48,783 There isn't actually any sort of road system. 61 00:03:50,347 --> 00:03:53,020 But l've often wondered, why could you not, 62 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:56,423 if it's only 62 miles to what people call space, 63 00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:58,185 why can't you just build a ladder? 64 00:03:58,227 --> 00:04:00,582 l mean, it can't be beyond the wit of man to build a ladder 65 00:04:00,627 --> 00:04:02,504 that just goes straight, and then you could walk up it, 66 00:04:02,547 --> 00:04:06,381 - save a lot of bother. - Yes, oxygen pack necessary, but, yes. 67 00:04:06,427 --> 00:04:08,179 Yeah, well you've got an oxygen mask, 68 00:04:08,227 --> 00:04:10,741 - maybe a lift. - Oh, a lift would be good. 69 00:04:10,787 --> 00:04:12,937 But once you get up there, there's nothing really there. 70 00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:15,865 - (Stephen) Not much. - lt's a bit like Norfolk. 71 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:18,740 Now, you just be careful. 72 00:04:18,787 --> 00:04:20,618 Ooh. 73 00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:24,296 l'll guarantee that if someone in Britain asks for directions to outer space, 74 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,020 it wouldn't be any different than asking directions to like the M1. 75 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,184 They'll only listen to the first thing you say. You know? 76 00:04:30,227 --> 00:04:31,706 He would say, "How do l get to the M1?" 77 00:04:31,747 --> 00:04:35,137 And you can say, "Go over that roundabout... 78 00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:38,065 "and then a wizard will meet you..." 79 00:04:39,707 --> 00:04:43,780 And the person will go, "Do l go over the roundabout or?" 80 00:04:43,827 --> 00:04:46,022 There's a rule with asking directions, though, 81 00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:48,740 which men tend not to do l think as much as women, 82 00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:52,621 but if the person you ask says "um", drive on. 83 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,977 You might have parked on their foot. 84 00:04:56,027 --> 00:04:58,382 - They wouldn't go "um". - "Ohh!" 85 00:04:58,427 --> 00:05:00,577 (Rich) Or they... 86 00:05:00,627 --> 00:05:03,425 Or they say, "Do you want the easy way to get there?" 87 00:05:03,467 --> 00:05:06,061 No, l want to be tortured 88 00:05:06,107 --> 00:05:09,463 and left for dead on the side of the road. 89 00:05:10,387 --> 00:05:12,981 l was in Canada once, and l'm asking directions, 90 00:05:13,027 --> 00:05:15,177 l was trying to find this friend's farm. 91 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,297 And l stopped this farmer and he says, 92 00:05:17,347 --> 00:05:19,099 "You go down the road about three miles 93 00:05:19,147 --> 00:05:22,981 "and then you'll see a big dead possum in the middle of the road. 94 00:05:23,027 --> 00:05:25,461 "You go left there." 95 00:05:25,507 --> 00:05:27,577 "How do you know the dead possum will be there?" 96 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:31,586 And he said, "Well, would you pick up a dead possum?" 97 00:05:31,627 --> 00:05:34,937 l was getting directions once on the phone, and l was actually writing them down. 98 00:05:34,987 --> 00:05:38,536 And l realised after about a minute l'd stopped listening and started drawing. 99 00:05:38,587 --> 00:05:41,260 l had a great big elephant, 100 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,980 big bollocks on it and everything. 101 00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:46,461 And someone said to me, we were driving along, he said "Where is it?" 102 00:05:46,507 --> 00:05:49,544 l said, "Well, you go down the left, whoooa!" 103 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:53,384 lf you ask a lady for directions, she'll ask you a question back. 104 00:05:53,427 --> 00:05:56,066 So if you say "Do you know where the post office is?" 105 00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:58,701 She'll say, "Do you want to buy a stamp?" 106 00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:01,300 Sweet. 107 00:06:01,347 --> 00:06:04,737 And you find you're having a nice chat and everyone's friends, 108 00:06:04,787 --> 00:06:07,620 but you've no idea where the post office is. 109 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,704 So there you are. lf you could drive straight upwards - 110 00:06:10,747 --> 00:06:11,862 and it would take under an hour 111 00:06:11,907 --> 00:06:14,467 if you were going at about 60-odd miles an hour - 112 00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:18,136 outer space is defined as anywhere outside a planet's atmosphere 113 00:06:18,187 --> 00:06:21,941 according to the Féderation Aéronautique lnternationale, 114 00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:24,182 this is 62 miles above the surface of the earth. 115 00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:27,742 To illustrate just how thin the atmosphere is, have a look at this. 116 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:33,942 On the left, what you see is all the water on earth squeezed into a ball. 117 00:06:33,987 --> 00:06:37,696 And on the right the slightly larger ball has all the atmosphere squeezed in. 118 00:06:37,747 --> 00:06:40,784 - lt shows how thin it all is. - (Jeremy) l quite like that. 119 00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:43,660 Yeah, there's something very pleasing about it. 120 00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:46,380 lt was done by a man called Adam Niemann, 121 00:06:46,427 --> 00:06:51,057 who won the Concept section of the 2003 Visions of Space competition. 122 00:06:51,107 --> 00:06:53,063 ls that the water squashed up? 123 00:06:53,107 --> 00:06:56,258 - it's all the seas and all the lakes? - (Stephen) Yeah, yeah, that's right. 124 00:06:56,307 --> 00:06:59,185 1.41 billion cubic kilometres. 125 00:06:59,227 --> 00:07:02,344 Anyway, there you are. Alan, one of the constellations in the sky 126 00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:04,947 of which l'm sure you've heard is Canis Major, 127 00:07:04,987 --> 00:07:07,421 - Latin for the bigger dog. - The biggest can. 128 00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:09,583 - (Stephen) The biggest dog. The dog. - Dog. 129 00:07:09,627 --> 00:07:13,461 What is, on the other hand, the smallest dog in the world? 130 00:07:13,507 --> 00:07:16,180 Oh, there's one... there's one that's been lost 131 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,138 near where l live. 132 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,626 lt says on the lampposts 133 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,862 it was lost at Tescos. 134 00:07:25,907 --> 00:07:28,580 lt said, it's quite small, Yorkshire terrier 135 00:07:28,627 --> 00:07:30,663 and it looks like a puppy but it's old 136 00:07:30,707 --> 00:07:33,301 and its tongue is always sticking out. 137 00:07:33,347 --> 00:07:36,976 Well, you get two points because probably Yorkshire terrier is the right answer. 138 00:07:37,027 --> 00:07:38,699 We'd hoped you might say Chihuahua. 139 00:07:38,747 --> 00:07:40,817 Certainly the smallest dog ever recorded 140 00:07:40,867 --> 00:07:44,985 was a Yorkshire terrier. Tiny little dog, tiny thing. 141 00:07:45,027 --> 00:07:47,461 Look at that, that's how small they are. 142 00:07:47,507 --> 00:07:52,217 This one was a Yorkshire terrier which died in 1945 143 00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,303 and it was two and a half inches high 144 00:07:54,347 --> 00:07:56,497 and three and three quarter inches long, 145 00:07:56,547 --> 00:07:59,857 weighed four ounces and would fit in this box. 146 00:07:59,907 --> 00:08:03,616 (Alan yaps as box is opened) 147 00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:06,056 (Jeremy) Or between two pieces of bread. 148 00:08:06,107 --> 00:08:08,302 Did you just say "Or between two pieces of bread?" 149 00:08:08,347 --> 00:08:09,939 (Jeremy) Yeah. 150 00:08:16,307 --> 00:08:19,344 Now, from Chihuahuas, which we didn't mention really, 151 00:08:19,387 --> 00:08:21,378 because you avoided that trap, to cheese. 152 00:08:21,427 --> 00:08:23,463 Cheese can be made from the milk of cows, 153 00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,941 sheep, goats, horses, reindeer, 154 00:08:25,987 --> 00:08:29,616 llamas, yaks, water buffalo, camels, zebras. 155 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:32,864 But, Sean, would you eat Chihuahua cheese? 156 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:35,946 Yeah. 157 00:08:37,187 --> 00:08:40,657 And l'd follow it up with some, you know, spaniel paté, lovely. 158 00:08:41,867 --> 00:08:43,937 - Yeah, yeah, l would, yeah. - Quite right, yes. 159 00:08:43,987 --> 00:08:46,865 lt is a very popular Mexican cheese, 160 00:08:46,907 --> 00:08:48,977 from the province of Chihuahua, 161 00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:53,179 - but not made from the Chihuahua dog. - ls it a state or a province? 162 00:08:53,227 --> 00:08:55,263 lt's a state, it's a state. 163 00:08:55,307 --> 00:08:57,821 - The thing's a state, there it is. - (Rich) l should get a point for that. 164 00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:59,858 You should get a point, definitely. 165 00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:02,740 - How could you make a mistake like that? - Oh, l'm ashamed of myself, 166 00:09:02,787 --> 00:09:04,539 bitterly, bitterly ashamed. 167 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:08,546 - You'll be beating yourself tonight. - l will, any excuse, yeah. 168 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,297 lt's, er... 169 00:09:13,347 --> 00:09:15,383 "Mellors, winch me up!" 170 00:09:17,187 --> 00:09:19,223 "l'm doing the full 24." 171 00:09:20,107 --> 00:09:22,382 "Level six." 172 00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:25,658 - l wouldn't feel bad about that province... - No, l don't, l don't, l really don't, 173 00:09:25,707 --> 00:09:28,346 couldn't give a toss as a matter of fact. 174 00:09:28,387 --> 00:09:31,504 But no, Chihuahua is an interesting place, it's where the Apaches used to live. 175 00:09:31,547 --> 00:09:35,176 Geronimo used to do raiding parties into the United States from there. 176 00:09:35,227 --> 00:09:37,946 l believe you do a Mexican accent, Alan? 177 00:09:37,987 --> 00:09:39,784 - Si. - Yep. 178 00:09:40,707 --> 00:09:42,459 Good, isn't it? 179 00:09:42,507 --> 00:09:44,941 Yes, it's very nice cheese actually, it's from Mexico, 180 00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:47,262 it's made from the lactic secretions of the Bos taurus. 181 00:09:47,307 --> 00:09:48,865 (Alan) Queso. 182 00:09:48,907 --> 00:09:51,740 Queso, queso asadero is what it's actually called. 183 00:09:51,787 --> 00:09:53,982 - Si. - Roasting cheese. 184 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,746 So, the old shark's tooth is very sharp, 185 00:09:56,787 --> 00:10:00,143 but l also have here some flint, which is even sharper. 186 00:10:00,187 --> 00:10:03,418 What - this is your question - what is flint made of? 187 00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,140 - (Jeremy) Sharks' teeth. - No. 188 00:10:06,187 --> 00:10:08,223 Fluff and lint. 189 00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:12,222 Compressed. 190 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:17,626 Do you know, in a weird kind of way, it isn't that far off. 191 00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:20,181 - Animal matter? - Ultimately it is. 192 00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:21,945 lt's made of quartz, 193 00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:23,978 but quartz itself comes from the silicate 194 00:10:24,027 --> 00:10:27,861 that was laid down millions of years ago by... which animals? 195 00:10:27,907 --> 00:10:30,740 They are animals, though they used to be thought of as plants. 196 00:10:30,787 --> 00:10:32,106 Coral. 197 00:10:32,147 --> 00:10:33,136 - Crabs. - (Alan) Anemones. 198 00:10:33,187 --> 00:10:35,223 Something you might find in your bathroom. 199 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,497 - Crabs. - (Jeremy) Herpes. 200 00:10:38,627 --> 00:10:41,664 - A sponge. - Sponge is what we're looking for. 201 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:45,905 Millions and millions of sponges. 20 per cent of the earth's crust is quartz 202 00:10:45,947 --> 00:10:48,097 and it's made from sponges. l have a sponge, 203 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,183 in case you wanted to see what one looked like. 204 00:10:50,227 --> 00:10:52,980 - (Alan) Hello! - lt's not a living sponge. 205 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:56,019 Have you been offered a drink or anything? 206 00:10:56,707 --> 00:10:58,902 Sponges really are quite interesting. 207 00:10:58,947 --> 00:11:01,461 lf you sieve a sponge and you separate it, 208 00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:02,656 even its cells like that, 209 00:11:02,707 --> 00:11:04,743 and it goes out and it's all disintegrated, 210 00:11:04,787 --> 00:11:07,142 it will reintegrate itself. But even more extraordinary... 211 00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:09,701 - Like Terminator 2? - You take five... Yeah. 212 00:11:09,747 --> 00:11:12,625 You take five different sponges, different species of sponge, 213 00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:15,943 put them all in the same liquidiser, 214 00:11:15,987 --> 00:11:17,625 blitz them all up, 215 00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:23,299 pour the resulting smoothie that you get into salt water 216 00:11:23,347 --> 00:11:27,738 and in time they will separate themselves out into their original species 217 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,823 and you will get the sponges back again. 218 00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:32,222 They're miraculous things. lsn't that clever? 219 00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:35,065 lt doesn't work with Chihuahua's. l tried. 220 00:11:35,107 --> 00:11:36,540 Very unfortunate. 221 00:11:36,587 --> 00:11:38,896 Right, so, yes, flint, one of a range of rocks 222 00:11:38,947 --> 00:11:41,586 which are collectively known as chert, 223 00:11:41,627 --> 00:11:44,983 the others being agate, jasper and chalcedony. 224 00:11:45,027 --> 00:11:46,779 Now, let's have another question. 225 00:11:46,827 --> 00:11:51,105 Who was the only survivor of the Crimean War? 226 00:11:51,147 --> 00:11:54,423 - When did it officially end, then? - That's what you have to find out. 227 00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:57,186 Sebastopol and Balaclava and the Charge of the Light Brigade, 228 00:11:57,227 --> 00:11:59,218 - it's that war, yes. - And we got their cannons 229 00:11:59,267 --> 00:12:00,825 and made the VC out of them. 230 00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:02,858 lt was around the time that the cannon was being invented, 231 00:12:02,907 --> 00:12:06,024 it was around the 1850s, 1854. 232 00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:09,582 But, in those days, when Britain went to war, 233 00:12:09,627 --> 00:12:13,142 because of a very peculiar law, 234 00:12:13,187 --> 00:12:15,985 there was one part of Britain that was exempt 235 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,779 from being called either England or Scotland. 236 00:12:17,827 --> 00:12:20,421 - Berwick. - Berwick-upon-Tweed. 237 00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:23,220 You're absolutely right, Berwick-upon-Tweed 238 00:12:23,267 --> 00:12:26,179 was given a special status as being of the United Kingdom, 239 00:12:26,227 --> 00:12:27,899 but not in it. 240 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:30,336 So when the British went to war with Russia, 241 00:12:30,387 --> 00:12:32,901 it was Victoria, Queen of Britain, lreland, 242 00:12:32,947 --> 00:12:36,303 Berwick-upon-Tweed and the British dominions beyond the sea 243 00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:38,861 was in the phraseology of the declaration of war. 244 00:12:38,907 --> 00:12:42,786 But, in 1856, they didn't mention Berwick-upon-Tweed 245 00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:47,582 in the peace treaty, so it was still technically at war 246 00:12:47,627 --> 00:12:52,496 until 1966, when the mayor of Berwick-on-Tweed actually 247 00:12:52,547 --> 00:12:54,458 signed a treaty with Russia, saying 248 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,180 "Now at last you can tell 249 00:12:57,227 --> 00:13:01,857 "the Russian people that they may sleep easily in their beds." 250 00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,583 (Jeremy) l thought Berwick still was separate, isn't it? 251 00:13:04,627 --> 00:13:07,266 They're in England, but they play in the Scottish league. 252 00:13:07,307 --> 00:13:08,786 - ls that right? Excellent. - Mm. 253 00:13:08,827 --> 00:13:12,706 So there we have it, there's a war that went from 1854 to 1966. 254 00:13:12,747 --> 00:13:15,705 A creature that had been on a ship at Sebastopol in the war 255 00:13:15,747 --> 00:13:17,499 was still alive when the war ended. 256 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:18,696 - lt was the only thing... - (Alan) A tortoise. 257 00:13:18,747 --> 00:13:20,658 A tortoise is absolutely right. 258 00:13:20,707 --> 00:13:24,541 lt was a naval tortoise called Timothy the Tortoise, yes. 259 00:13:24,587 --> 00:13:26,703 (Jeremy) lsn't he the one that just died? 260 00:13:26,747 --> 00:13:28,703 No, there he is, he's fine. 261 00:13:30,907 --> 00:13:35,219 He carried on living until 2004, survivor of the Crimean War. 262 00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:37,576 He was ship's mascot of the HMS Queen 263 00:13:37,627 --> 00:13:39,618 during the first bombardment of Sebastopol. 264 00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,340 - (Sean) Did he actually fight in the war? - No. 265 00:13:42,387 --> 00:13:44,378 lt had survived the war, but was it in it, 266 00:13:44,427 --> 00:13:47,703 involved in it in naval engagements. 267 00:13:47,747 --> 00:13:50,819 (Alan) But he'd crawl back to your line. 268 00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:53,665 And then you'd chuck him again. 269 00:13:58,187 --> 00:14:01,065 The glorious fighting tortoises of the British Army. 270 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:04,224 (Rich) l hope they didn't use him to send messages. 271 00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:08,904 - That's why it took so long to win. - "The enemy is coming." 272 00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:13,699 "Has he delivered the peace treaty yet?" lt's on its way. 273 00:14:13,747 --> 00:14:15,738 My nephew's got one and it attacks you, 274 00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:18,824 it actually runs and throws itself at your feet. 275 00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:21,984 Are you sure that's not a rabbit in a helmet? 276 00:14:25,307 --> 00:14:28,458 Little ears down. 277 00:14:28,507 --> 00:14:31,180 Gentlemen, stand by to repel boredom, 278 00:14:31,227 --> 00:14:33,866 because it's General lgnorance time. 279 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:36,740 Alan, l believe you've got something inside your desk. 280 00:14:36,787 --> 00:14:39,381 - Have l? - Yeah, have you not looked? 281 00:14:39,427 --> 00:14:41,895 Like a schoolboy. There. 282 00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,938 So, what is that? 283 00:14:43,987 --> 00:14:46,820 - lt's a loofah. - Where do loofahs come from? 284 00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:50,337 - The bathroom. - And originally? 285 00:14:50,387 --> 00:14:51,866 From the... in the sea. 286 00:14:51,907 --> 00:14:55,820 - (Alarm) - Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 287 00:14:55,867 --> 00:14:57,858 - No. You knew that, did you, Sean? - Yeah. 288 00:14:57,907 --> 00:14:59,898 - Where are they from? - You grow them, they're little seeds. 289 00:14:59,947 --> 00:15:01,380 (Stephen) That's right. 290 00:15:01,427 --> 00:15:03,657 l got the worst Christmas present ever, 291 00:15:03,707 --> 00:15:08,337 ever in my life, my sister gave me a grow your own loofah kit. 292 00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:10,301 (Stephen) God bless her! 293 00:15:10,347 --> 00:15:14,022 lt was a clay pot, a bag of earth and five seeds. 294 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,376 And l think the clay pot hit her hardest. 295 00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:24,940 lt is surprising, most people, including myself this morning, 296 00:15:24,987 --> 00:15:27,979 until l saw this question, l have to say, believed that loofahs came from the sea. 297 00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:29,540 Did you think loofahs came from the sea? 298 00:15:29,587 --> 00:15:32,226 l would have said not my vegetable garden. 299 00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:35,703 Yeah, well, they grow in Asia and Africa and they are quite prized. 300 00:15:35,747 --> 00:15:38,307 They can be sliced and diced and popped into curries and soups 301 00:15:38,347 --> 00:15:40,417 - and things like that. - (Jeremy) No way. 302 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:43,618 Not when they've been rubbing Nana's back, though. 303 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:46,056 - Well, they're a kind of gourd. - (Sean) Yeah. 304 00:15:46,107 --> 00:15:47,779 There they are, look, hanging. 305 00:15:47,827 --> 00:15:50,102 - (Jeremy) What do you do with it? - You hit your twin on the head 306 00:15:50,147 --> 00:15:52,138 in the Wacky Races. 307 00:15:54,227 --> 00:15:56,422 - Ow. - (Sean) lf you're a nun... 308 00:15:56,467 --> 00:15:58,742 Oh, no, don't go there. 309 00:15:58,787 --> 00:16:01,585 - l didn't say anything. - Oh, please. 310 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,505 There's obviously a reason that in Victorian bathrooms 311 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,946 they had articles like that. 312 00:16:05,987 --> 00:16:09,582 lt's a huge excuse for sexual jollities, isn't it? 313 00:16:09,627 --> 00:16:12,016 "Well, no, l use it for my back." 314 00:16:13,427 --> 00:16:16,339 lt would feel like, you know like sometimes if you sit on your hand 315 00:16:16,387 --> 00:16:18,184 and it feels like someone else is doing it? 316 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:21,503 lt would feel like someone with a stump was playing with it. 317 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,380 Mummy, make the nasty man go away. 318 00:16:27,227 --> 00:16:28,899 Very odd. 319 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:31,017 (Stephen) No! 320 00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:34,616 - (Sean) Yeah. lt works, doesn't it? - Give me that loofah. 321 00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,627 - Now you want it? - Yes. 322 00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,419 That's going into the art cupboard 323 00:16:39,467 --> 00:16:41,856 and you're going into the naughty corner if you're... 324 00:16:41,907 --> 00:16:45,377 (Rich) lt's going into your penis tin, isn't it? 325 00:16:46,227 --> 00:16:49,424 You are very bad children indeed. 326 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,583 (Stephen) Right. 327 00:16:51,627 --> 00:16:53,902 Let's come up for air now. 328 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:56,939 What colour was the Model T Ford? 329 00:16:56,987 --> 00:16:58,181 (Sheep bleats) 330 00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,343 Don't say, don't say, don't say... 331 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,979 - Black? - Oh! 332 00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:04,541 (Alarm) 333 00:17:04,587 --> 00:17:06,623 Bless him, like a little puppy runs into the wall. 334 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:09,386 "You can have any colour as long as it's black." 335 00:17:09,427 --> 00:17:12,305 - Oh, he said that even, even that phrase! - (Alarm) 336 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,939 History is bunk. Have you got that as well? 337 00:17:16,987 --> 00:17:18,978 Yeah, he did, he did actually say that l think. 338 00:17:19,027 --> 00:17:22,337 - Or he said, history is more or less bunk. - Oh. 339 00:17:22,387 --> 00:17:25,026 - (Jeremy) He was a Nazi. - (Stephen) He was a horrific anti-Semite. 340 00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:29,185 He was a grotesque man, there is nothing nice whatever to say about Henry Ford. 341 00:17:29,227 --> 00:17:31,821 Hitler only read two books, didn't he, when he was in prison. 342 00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:35,098 One of them was Henry Ford's. Yeah, no, horrible, horrible man. 343 00:17:35,147 --> 00:17:36,978 Anyway, it wasn't black. 344 00:17:37,027 --> 00:17:39,825 No, the first year of Model T Fords, you couldn't get a black one. 345 00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:42,745 You could get them in grey, red, or Brewster green. 346 00:17:42,787 --> 00:17:44,778 Unless they were made in Manchester, 347 00:17:44,827 --> 00:17:47,705 - in which case they were all blue. - ls that right? 348 00:17:47,747 --> 00:17:50,580 - Yes. - l like that, it's good, that's why we're here. 349 00:17:50,627 --> 00:17:53,858 l'm sorry. Yeah, the Manchester ones l'm fairly certain were blue ones. 350 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,819 - When did they start making them there? - 1910, l think. 351 00:17:56,867 --> 00:18:00,303 (Stephen) Oh, really? That's good. Between 1908 and 1927 352 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:05,262 they made 15,485,000 Model T Fords, 353 00:18:05,307 --> 00:18:11,303 and during that time, the price fell from $825 dollars to $260. 354 00:18:11,347 --> 00:18:12,746 - Have you ever driven one? - Never have. 355 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,505 lt's the hardest thing in the world. 356 00:18:14,547 --> 00:18:18,381 - lt's all pedals, isn't it? - lt's this business. 357 00:18:18,427 --> 00:18:20,543 lt's just so hard. 358 00:18:20,587 --> 00:18:23,784 - You have to put your foot on the clutch... - Pass the loofah. 359 00:18:25,107 --> 00:18:29,544 lt has two speeds - quite fast or really very fast indeed, 360 00:18:29,587 --> 00:18:31,498 and there's nothing you can do to slow it down, 361 00:18:31,547 --> 00:18:33,777 other than hit a tree. And there were no roads, 362 00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:36,261 there were only like 190 miles of road when that thing came out. 363 00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,706 (Stephen) There we are, that's the Model T Ford. 364 00:18:37,747 --> 00:18:39,339 ln fact, in the first year of production, 365 00:18:39,387 --> 00:18:43,505 black wasn't even an option. After 1913 they were all black, 366 00:18:43,547 --> 00:18:46,619 but there's no evidence that Ford actually ever said 367 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,261 "Any colour you like so long as it's black." 368 00:18:49,307 --> 00:18:54,335 Now, listen, have you ever been on board a plane full of SOBs? 369 00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:57,936 - lt is actually an acronym. - lt's all acronyms in air travel. 370 00:18:57,987 --> 00:19:01,696 - Do you know what SOB is? - l would say Seats On Board, except that... 371 00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:03,385 - Very close... - But that would be wrong, 372 00:19:03,427 --> 00:19:05,941 because why would you say seats on board? 373 00:19:05,987 --> 00:19:08,899 - Where else would the seats be? - Well, quite, exactly. 374 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:12,144 (Jeremy) Thought you said Sikhs. (Rich) Sikhs on Board. 375 00:19:12,187 --> 00:19:14,018 Not seats. 376 00:19:14,067 --> 00:19:15,705 ln naval parlance, 377 00:19:15,747 --> 00:19:18,978 it's the phrase used to describe all people on board a ship 378 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,018 is the number of what's on board? 379 00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:23,535 - Sailors. - (Jeremy) Souls. 380 00:19:23,587 --> 00:19:25,418 Souls on board is what it stands for. 381 00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:29,176 Did you know a veal has to have more space 382 00:19:29,227 --> 00:19:30,899 to be transported to the abattoir 383 00:19:30,947 --> 00:19:33,302 than a human being in the back of an aeroplane. 384 00:19:33,347 --> 00:19:36,384 Yeah, but to be fair, we have a holiday, they get killed. 385 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,338 You could be coming back. 386 00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:42,017 Have we got a vegetablist? 387 00:19:42,067 --> 00:19:43,978 - (Alan) What, him? - Yeah. 388 00:19:44,027 --> 00:19:46,063 - No, l'm a vegetablist. - (Jeremy) You're a vegetablist. 389 00:19:46,107 --> 00:19:48,382 l wouldn't eat a veal, l'd free it. 390 00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:52,303 l had a puffin last week, that's not delicious, 391 00:19:52,347 --> 00:19:56,386 but the point of eating it was cos l'd never had one before. 392 00:19:56,427 --> 00:20:00,215 - l had the same with guinea pig. - (Sean) Have you tried one of my turds? 393 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:05,299 - No. - Did you just say what l thought you said? 394 00:20:05,347 --> 00:20:07,815 Get out! Out now! 395 00:20:08,867 --> 00:20:11,062 No, there was a man came, l had some whale... 396 00:20:11,107 --> 00:20:12,586 You don't want to listen to this. 397 00:20:12,627 --> 00:20:14,504 But l had some whale, and he said 398 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,222 would you like me to grate some puffin on that? 399 00:20:18,907 --> 00:20:22,343 How do you say no? You can't say... 400 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,220 "No, really..." No, l said "Yes, go for it. 401 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,417 "Grate some puffin on that." 402 00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,458 l was in Australia once 403 00:20:29,507 --> 00:20:32,863 and a very common bird in Australia is the galah, 404 00:20:32,907 --> 00:20:35,296 and it's a pink kind of parrot-looking thing. 405 00:20:35,347 --> 00:20:39,579 This bloke says "Do you want to know how to cook a galah?" l said "Go on, then." 406 00:20:39,627 --> 00:20:40,946 He said... 407 00:20:40,987 --> 00:20:43,023 "Start a fire, 408 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:46,616 "chuck a couple of rocks in it, chuck a galah in. 409 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:49,739 "When the rocks go soft, you can eat the galah." 410 00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:54,497 Do you know what l had for my starter when l had the whale? 411 00:20:54,547 --> 00:20:58,586 - (Stephen) With grated puffin. - With grated puffin, was a seal flipper. 412 00:20:58,627 --> 00:21:01,937 And it looked exactly like a Marigold glove 413 00:21:01,987 --> 00:21:04,581 filled with wallpaper paste. 414 00:21:04,627 --> 00:21:06,743 And it sat and you thought "Ooh." 415 00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:09,017 And it tasted exactly like 416 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:12,025 licking a hot Turkish urinal. 417 00:21:13,227 --> 00:21:17,300 - Oh, where is this restaurant? - l'm concerned that he used "exactly". 418 00:21:17,347 --> 00:21:22,341 lf you said it was "imagine licking a hot Turkish..." He said exactly. 419 00:21:23,467 --> 00:21:25,583 - Exactly. - Even those strange purple cubes 420 00:21:25,627 --> 00:21:27,538 they have in those... 421 00:21:28,547 --> 00:21:31,345 ls it nice, whale? Just out of interest. Because l've heard it's very nice. 422 00:21:31,387 --> 00:21:34,777 lt's exactly like steak, but with a slightly irony texture to it. 423 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:36,306 Have you ever been on Ready Steady Cook? 424 00:21:36,347 --> 00:21:37,336 No. 425 00:21:37,387 --> 00:21:40,379 You could have a really good carrier bag, couldn't you? 426 00:21:41,587 --> 00:21:43,305 Well... 427 00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:47,578 (Alan) "There you are." 428 00:21:47,627 --> 00:21:50,187 - lt's a seal... - "That's a seal's hand." 429 00:21:51,107 --> 00:21:54,019 And some grasshoppers. 430 00:21:54,067 --> 00:21:59,539 And speaking of SOBs, why was the Gatso camera invented? 431 00:21:59,587 --> 00:22:02,055 - Any thoughts? - Does it see souls? 432 00:22:02,107 --> 00:22:04,098 - No. - Souls floating 433 00:22:04,147 --> 00:22:08,777 like people who've been run over on the road, going, "He was going too fast." 434 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:12,581 To provide the government with hundreds of millions of pounds. 435 00:22:12,627 --> 00:22:15,778 - (Alarm) - Did l do that? 436 00:22:15,827 --> 00:22:19,740 Yeah. No, that wasn't why it was invented. lt may be how it's used now, 437 00:22:19,787 --> 00:22:22,142 - but do you know why it was invented? - (Jeremy) Gatsonides, 438 00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:26,021 - Dutchman, rally driver. - He was, and why did he invent it? 439 00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:29,980 - lt was something to do with rallying. - lt was. The actual purpose of it was - 440 00:22:30,027 --> 00:22:32,621 Maurice, his name was - was to find a way 441 00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:34,658 of getting cars to go faster around corners, 442 00:22:34,707 --> 00:22:38,336 so he needed to monitor the speeds he was going in order to work it out. 443 00:22:38,387 --> 00:22:39,706 lronic, isn't it? 444 00:22:39,747 --> 00:22:42,261 There's a marvellous new club in Holland called the Tuff Tuff Club 445 00:22:42,307 --> 00:22:44,502 - that goes around destroying them. - Really? 446 00:22:44,547 --> 00:22:48,017 And you get sort of awards and points, internet points and prizes if you can think 447 00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:50,422 of the most imaginative way. And my favourite one was, 448 00:22:50,467 --> 00:22:52,776 there's a little tiny hole in the back of them, 449 00:22:52,827 --> 00:22:55,136 and if you put some of that builder's foam in, 450 00:22:55,187 --> 00:22:57,257 - that insulating foam... - Oh, yeah. 451 00:22:57,467 --> 00:22:59,139 And it just goes... and it just bursts 452 00:22:59,187 --> 00:23:04,659 and then sets in a rather ugly Dr Who special effect, which is quite good. 453 00:23:04,707 --> 00:23:06,698 You know what happened in France with clamps? 454 00:23:06,747 --> 00:23:08,942 They lasted about two weeks. 455 00:23:08,987 --> 00:23:11,740 The French just went around putting superglue in the locks. 456 00:23:11,787 --> 00:23:14,938 Everyone. People that it wasn't their car, just every Frenchman just decided 457 00:23:14,987 --> 00:23:18,218 - as one man to say "non" to the clamp. - (Alan) That's a good idea. 458 00:23:18,267 --> 00:23:21,623 lf you could glue one person's mouth up, who would it be? 459 00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:23,897 l would do it to a ventriloquist. 460 00:23:26,227 --> 00:23:29,025 He'd really have to work, wouldn't he? We'd know how good they really were. 461 00:23:29,067 --> 00:23:33,583 Do it to his dummy and then he just goes... (Mumbles) 462 00:23:33,627 --> 00:23:37,620 Let's have another question. What did Samuel Pepys bury in his garden 463 00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:40,101 to save it from the Great Fire of London? 464 00:23:40,147 --> 00:23:43,219 Blimey, something flammable, it must have been. 465 00:23:43,267 --> 00:23:45,656 Something paper... Not his diaries? 466 00:23:45,707 --> 00:23:49,222 - (Alarm) - Oh! 467 00:23:49,267 --> 00:23:52,418 - Oh dear, oh dear. - l knew that was going to happen. 468 00:23:52,467 --> 00:23:54,503 No, it brings us sort of almost circularly around. 469 00:23:54,547 --> 00:23:57,220 What's our letter of the series? 470 00:23:57,267 --> 00:23:59,576 - C. - So it's got to begin with C. 471 00:23:59,627 --> 00:24:02,061 - Cardboard. - (Jeremy) His... cock. 472 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:04,063 His cock. 473 00:24:04,107 --> 00:24:08,146 - He cut his cock off and buried it. - (Sean) His cockerel. 474 00:24:08,187 --> 00:24:10,303 (Stephen) Nor his cockerel. (Alan) Cheese. 475 00:24:10,347 --> 00:24:13,498 Cheese is the right answer! Well done, take several points. 476 00:24:13,547 --> 00:24:15,538 Very good. He did. 477 00:24:15,587 --> 00:24:18,226 lt was more dairy than diary you might say. 478 00:24:18,267 --> 00:24:22,306 - (Audience groaning) - lt was a piece of... Thank you, thank you. 479 00:24:22,347 --> 00:24:26,022 - They've got standards, these people. - They have, haven't they? 480 00:24:26,067 --> 00:24:29,821 lt was a piece of Parmesan, as a matter of fact. 481 00:24:29,867 --> 00:24:31,141 (Rich) Why? 482 00:24:31,187 --> 00:24:33,382 Well, it was very valuable, very expensive. 483 00:24:33,427 --> 00:24:35,418 Come all the way from ltaly in those days. 484 00:24:35,467 --> 00:24:37,856 (Sean) So he didn't go and help anyone. 485 00:24:37,907 --> 00:24:41,536 He didn't muck in, he went "Shit, the cheese!" 486 00:24:42,907 --> 00:24:45,182 (Sean) Wasn't he supposed to be a great man? 487 00:24:45,227 --> 00:24:46,342 He was a great diarist. 488 00:24:46,387 --> 00:24:49,663 He never claimed to be a more morally superior man than anyone else. 489 00:24:49,707 --> 00:24:52,824 He watched the fire, from across the river. 490 00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:56,416 - He was the other side. - "Mr Pepys, Mr Pepys! Help!" 491 00:24:56,467 --> 00:24:59,300 (Stephen) There was nothing they could do. 492 00:25:00,707 --> 00:25:04,620 - Huge parmesan. - "Don't run back into that burning building! 493 00:25:04,667 --> 00:25:07,022 "My grater's in there!" 494 00:25:07,067 --> 00:25:09,297 "Save the pesto!" 495 00:25:11,787 --> 00:25:13,698 Oh, poor Peepy. 496 00:25:13,747 --> 00:25:17,786 This brings us l think to our judge the constellation time. 497 00:25:17,827 --> 00:25:19,419 So, Rich, what have you got for us? 498 00:25:19,467 --> 00:25:22,220 l have George Foreman delivering 499 00:25:22,267 --> 00:25:24,986 a powerful right hand to a parakeet. 500 00:25:27,587 --> 00:25:29,782 And the actual constellation was... 501 00:25:29,827 --> 00:25:32,182 - Taurus the Bull. - (Alan) Taurus the Bull. 502 00:25:32,227 --> 00:25:34,695 Let's see what Sean's gone for. 503 00:25:34,747 --> 00:25:37,898 - lt's a train. - That's very good. 504 00:25:39,787 --> 00:25:41,220 That is connecting all the dots, is it? 505 00:25:41,267 --> 00:25:43,223 Well, there's a couple of dots there at the front. 506 00:25:43,267 --> 00:25:47,306 And then all the other dots are the smoke. 507 00:25:47,347 --> 00:25:50,544 - Suggests movement through space. - (Stephen) l like it. 508 00:25:50,587 --> 00:25:52,543 Let's see what the ancients indeed 509 00:25:52,587 --> 00:25:55,306 did call that particular constellation. 510 00:25:55,347 --> 00:25:57,736 Oh, there we are, it's some sort of goat. 511 00:25:57,787 --> 00:26:00,904 lt's a goat waiting to be ¨¨¨¨ed. 512 00:26:02,627 --> 00:26:06,461 lt's the Provocative Goat. 513 00:26:06,507 --> 00:26:11,456 Quite clearly a Greek goat. The Greeks, as we know... 514 00:26:11,507 --> 00:26:14,897 - That is a goat looking under the sofa. - (Stephen) Ahh. 515 00:26:14,947 --> 00:26:17,415 - For the remote control. - Very good. 516 00:26:17,467 --> 00:26:19,344 - So that would be... - (Sean) Capricorn. 517 00:26:19,387 --> 00:26:21,617 - Capricorn, l guess. - Yes! 518 00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,862 ln fact it was Aries. So... 519 00:26:23,907 --> 00:26:25,977 (Sean) Shit! 520 00:26:28,307 --> 00:26:30,184 Jeremy. 521 00:26:30,227 --> 00:26:33,299 - lf you turn it like that... - (Stephen) Oh, my God. 522 00:26:33,347 --> 00:26:36,180 ...it becomes like an old woman, look. 523 00:26:37,067 --> 00:26:41,140 - l think it's Toyah Wilcox actually. - That's the Old Woman. 524 00:26:41,187 --> 00:26:43,064 (Stephen) And the ancients called it? 525 00:26:43,107 --> 00:26:44,825 lt's Sagittarius. 526 00:26:44,867 --> 00:26:49,304 (Alan) They put on the head and the front legs, just added in. 527 00:26:49,347 --> 00:26:51,702 You can see the bow and arrow, yeah. 528 00:26:51,747 --> 00:26:54,420 So, Alan, what have you done? 529 00:26:54,467 --> 00:26:56,662 Little smiley face. 530 00:26:59,507 --> 00:27:01,737 We like that, Alan, don't we, it's very nice. 531 00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:05,018 And the Greeks themselves came up with this for that particular one. 532 00:27:05,067 --> 00:27:07,103 There we are. 533 00:27:07,907 --> 00:27:10,899 Could l just ask one question, is maybe in the Greek times 534 00:27:10,947 --> 00:27:12,744 they did actually look like that, 535 00:27:12,787 --> 00:27:14,778 and over the years pollution and everything, right, 536 00:27:14,827 --> 00:27:16,579 they've disappeared, and it did actually used to look 537 00:27:16,627 --> 00:27:20,506 like a big crab in the sky, but now it's just a couple of little dots. 538 00:27:20,547 --> 00:27:24,062 You're a loss to the Royal Observatory of Greenwich, Sean. 539 00:27:24,107 --> 00:27:26,063 That kind of bracing independent thinking 540 00:27:26,107 --> 00:27:29,736 is just what we need to drive us further into the 21st century. 541 00:27:29,787 --> 00:27:31,778 OK, time to look at the final scores, 542 00:27:31,827 --> 00:27:34,136 and it's all pretty close actually, in a kind of way. 543 00:27:34,187 --> 00:27:36,576 Our proud winner is Jeremy with five points! 544 00:27:36,627 --> 00:27:39,061 - ls that a winner? - Yeah. 545 00:27:39,107 --> 00:27:40,984 l'm so thrilled. 546 00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:42,779 That's a very good Ql score. 547 00:27:42,827 --> 00:27:46,376 ln second place, with three points, Sean Lock. 548 00:27:46,427 --> 00:27:49,339 Thank you. Thank you. 549 00:27:50,067 --> 00:27:52,900 ln third place, with two points, Rich Hall. 550 00:27:56,587 --> 00:27:58,623 Alan, Alanny, Alanny, Alanny, 551 00:27:58,667 --> 00:28:02,899 l'm afraid in fourth place, but triumphant, with minus 18! 552 00:28:05,427 --> 00:28:07,224 Beautifully done. 553 00:28:12,507 --> 00:28:14,623 Well, that is it from Ql for another week. 554 00:28:14,667 --> 00:28:18,023 My thanks to Rich, Sean, Jeremy and Alan. 555 00:28:18,067 --> 00:28:21,776 l'll leave you with the final words of the Mexican revolutionary Pancho Villa, 556 00:28:21,827 --> 00:28:24,182 who was gunned down in 1923. 557 00:28:24,227 --> 00:28:26,183 "Don't let it end like this," 558 00:28:26,227 --> 00:28:30,015 he said as he died. "Tell them l said something." 559 00:28:30,067 --> 00:28:32,627 l know just how he felt. Good night.