1 00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:29,490 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:33,850 Hey! Hello! 3 00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:37,650 Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello! 4 00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:41,770 And welcome to QI, the show-off show that sits at the front of the class, 5 00:00:41,770 --> 00:00:44,130 shouting, "Me, sir! Me, me, me, sir, me!" 6 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:47,650 while other quiz shows are snogging behind the bike sheds. 7 00:00:47,650 --> 00:00:49,530 Tonight, we're celebrating genius 8 00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:52,690 with four of the most brilliant minds in the country, 9 00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:55,890 the Einstein or entertainment, David Mitchell! 10 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:59,290 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 11 00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:03,330 The Da Vinci of drollery, Dara O'Briain! 12 00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:06,370 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 13 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,250 The Galileo of gags, Graham Norton! 14 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:09,770 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 15 00:01:13,090 --> 00:01:15,330 And the Morecambe of wise, Alan Davies! 16 00:01:15,330 --> 00:01:16,970 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 17 00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:22,970 But before our SWAT team of swots 18 00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:25,130 done their white coats and clever clogs, 19 00:01:25,130 --> 00:01:28,290 we should hear their buzzers, and Dara goes... 20 00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:29,370 BELL 21 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,370 University College Dublin, O'Briain! 22 00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:33,210 David goes... 23 00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:35,690 BELL 24 00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:35,690 Peterhouse, Cambridge, Mitchell! 25 00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:36,770 Graham goes... 26 00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:39,970 BELL 27 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,810 University College, Cork, Norton! 28 00:01:39,810 --> 00:01:40,930 And Alan goes... 29 00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:44,050 PING! 30 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:44,050 Can I have a P, please, Bob? 31 00:01:44,050 --> 00:01:45,330 LAUGHTER 32 00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:47,130 Oh, that's... 33 00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:49,770 APPLAUSE 34 00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:53,850 That's completely unfair because Alan is a graduate of the University of Kent, 35 00:01:53,850 --> 00:01:58,050 and he holds an honorary doctorate, so, Alan, could you press your buzzer again? 36 00:01:58,050 --> 00:01:59,650 BELL 37 00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:00,330 The doctor'll see you now! 38 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:01,410 LAUGHTER 39 00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:05,450 Now, a very difficult first question, so I'm going to give you a bit of help. 40 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:10,970 What I'd like you to do, you should have a bit of tissue somewhere near. ALAN: I can't see anything! No! 41 00:02:10,970 --> 00:02:13,250 Have you got tissues anywhere? Yeah. 42 00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:18,170 I want you to stick a piece of tissue up your left nostril as if you had a nosebleed or something. 43 00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:20,370 It's weird, OK. Left nostril, very good. 44 00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:23,610 You've all passed that test. Well, two of you have. 45 00:02:25,050 --> 00:02:27,250 I'm going for real penetration. 46 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,210 I can feel that up there. 47 00:02:31,210 --> 00:02:36,290 If it came out your ear, that would be a worry. All right, now say something intelligent. 48 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:39,370 LAUGHTER 49 00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:40,570 Er... 50 00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:45,690 A squared equals B squared plus C squared. 51 00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:48,890 That's very good! If... 52 00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:50,570 Pythagoras's theorem, you know. 53 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,170 Yeah, excellent! 54 00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:54,050 Well, no, what this is about, 55 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:57,690 do you breathe through your left nostril, your right nostril or both? 56 00:02:57,690 --> 00:03:00,330 My arse. Oi! 57 00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:05,050 I've always suspected one works better than the other, but I've never kept a note of which it is. 58 00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:08,570 Well, some people do keep notes of how people breathe. 59 00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:12,290 Does it not alternate? You're right, Dara O'Briain, it does alternate. 60 00:03:12,290 --> 00:03:15,210 It has a periodicity of four hours. 61 00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:20,770 You swap from being mostly left to mostly right, and what's completely weird 62 00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:25,170 is that you answer questions on different types of subject better 63 00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,970 according to which side you're breathing through. 64 00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:30,290 Am I going to asphyxiate at about half past 12? 65 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:34,610 You might, that's a good point! You can breathe through your mouth if you want to. 66 00:03:34,610 --> 00:03:37,250 Should we be keeping notes of when our...you know, 67 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:40,010 of what shift work our nostrils are on? 68 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:45,130 Oh, the left will be in charge from one till four, that's when I should be doing maths-based things, 69 00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:46,530 like my tax return. 70 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:53,130 If I'm going to write a poem, I'll wait till the more creative right nostril comes on at about 4pm. 71 00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:58,650 Breathing through the right nostril, you should be better at visual and spatial tasks. GRAHAM: So, now? 72 00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:01,090 Yes, you should be good at visual and spatial things. 73 00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:04,890 If you block the right one, you should be better at verbal things. 74 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:06,730 I know it sounds mad, but you've probably 75 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:10,050 heard of the study in '89 called Unilateral Nostril Breathing... 76 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,090 Oh, that old thing! 77 00:04:12,090 --> 00:04:15,250 ..by Block, Arnott, Quigley and Lynch. 78 00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:20,130 So why don't all sports people constantly block their left nostrils? 79 00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:23,090 Well, you've probably seen what a lot of sports people do. 80 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:27,170 They put a piece of Elastoplast, plaster, the anti-snoring thing, 81 00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:32,650 and they do that so they're both open at the same time so they get maximum, I guess. 82 00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:34,770 And often they snort drugs as well. 83 00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:39,330 They don't! When we watch a sports person with one of those things on, 84 00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:45,010 they're not only at their best at sport, they're also at their most verbally dextrous? Indeed! 85 00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:50,050 And visually and spatially because both are wide open. Otherwise they can't even go, "Mine!" 86 00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:56,050 No, what have you got? What have you found? I think I lost the end. 87 00:04:56,050 --> 00:04:58,490 Ohhh! 88 00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:01,370 Oh, dear. It'll reappear, won't it? 89 00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:04,130 Somewhere, yeah, eventually. 90 00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:06,050 You'll cry it out at some point. 91 00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,930 Are these going on eBay? 92 00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:13,210 They could do - do you want to sign it? All right, yeah. 93 00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:15,010 I think I've already left my mark. 94 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:19,170 Blocking the right nostril makes you more emotionally negative, 95 00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:24,250 according to another study, a higher score on the Spielberger State Anxiety Inventory. 96 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:29,690 So if you wish to feel slightly more cheerful, don't block the right nostril. So that's why now... 97 00:05:29,690 --> 00:05:33,450 Now you're quite happy. You're quite bouncy and happy, aren't you? 98 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:38,170 Oh, now... There, you see, you've blocked the right nostril. 99 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,930 It's terribly sad. 100 00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:42,250 LAUGHTER 101 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:46,290 Keep them in, I'm going to ask you a question that will test your visual-spatial. 102 00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:48,290 Left? In the left, keep them left, OK. 103 00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:53,210 It seems the quickest way to improve verbal reasoning is to shove a tissue up your left nostril. 104 00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:55,450 Let's see how they've worked. Consider... 105 00:05:55,450 --> 00:06:00,010 an N-dimensional hypercube and connect each pair of vertices 106 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:03,690 to obtain a complete graph of two to the power N vertices. 107 00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:07,650 Colour each of the edges of this graph using only the colours red and black. 108 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:10,490 What is the smallest number, the smallest value of N 109 00:06:10,490 --> 00:06:15,850 for which every possible such colouring must necessarily contain a single coloured 110 00:06:15,850 --> 00:06:18,970 complete sub-graph with four vertices which lie in a plane? 111 00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:20,130 Six! 112 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,490 That is exactly what people used to think. 113 00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:24,690 LAUGHTER 114 00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:28,130 APPLAUSE That's amazing. 115 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:32,570 That's absolutely extraordinary. Further up there, further! 116 00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:38,610 Yeah, until 2003, most graph theorists thought the correct answer was probably six. 117 00:06:38,610 --> 00:06:41,090 I can only apologise. But... 118 00:06:41,090 --> 00:06:44,610 Come in here with your old graph-theory knowledge, how dare you! 119 00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:49,370 It's so difficult, when you've got a busy showbiz lifestyle, to keep up with the graph theory? 120 00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:53,290 It's probably only eight or nine hours a day you're devoting to it now. 121 00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:56,730 Well, I have to say, I've got Graham's number. Six? 122 00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:59,210 Have you got Graham's number? Er, no. Ah! 123 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:03,850 We don't have that sort of relationship. You've not got that sort of relationship! 124 00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:07,490 There is such a thing, which is relevant to this, Graham's number. 125 00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:11,090 But it's bigger than six. < Of course it is. It is so... 126 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:15,930 It is really big. Try and think of a really, really big number. 17. 127 00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:20,130 Do you know what? It's even bigger than that! 128 00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:22,010 This number, all right... 129 00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:28,090 Now get hold of this idea - this number is so big that all the material in the universe, right, 130 00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:31,690 couldn't make enough ink to write it out. 131 00:07:31,690 --> 00:07:34,530 It's called Graham's number, named after Ronald Graham, 132 00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:38,970 and weirdly enough, scientists know that it ends in a seven, which is really strange. 133 00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:43,170 Why would it end in a seven?! Turn it into an eight and then it's a bigger number! 134 00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:48,490 I didn't say it was the biggest number ever, it's just this is Graham's number, which is huge. 135 00:07:48,490 --> 00:07:53,250 You could have Norton's number. Yeah, Graham Norton, I made it an eight at the end. 136 00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:59,170 You can remove your tissues, incidentally, now. I think I'll miss it now. Oh, will you? OK. 137 00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:02,010 I'm worried about what might come out when I pull it. 138 00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:07,450 This problem, this graph problem, it seems - imagine the cube with lots of different dimensions 139 00:08:07,450 --> 00:08:11,010 where each corner is connected with red or black lines to every other, 140 00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:13,850 what is the fewest number of dimensions so that you end up with 141 00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:17,210 at least one single coloured square with the same colour diagonals? 142 00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:22,730 Until 2003, they thought it was six. Now it's been shown that there must be at least 11. It may be 12, 143 00:08:22,730 --> 00:08:27,370 but it's somewhere between 11 and Graham's number, that enormous number. 144 00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:31,890 There's quite a lot of room for error, isn't there? That's not really an answer, is it? 145 00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:35,970 The greatest mathematical minds in the world just don't know what the answer is. 146 00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:40,250 I don't understand the question. Neither do I. They don't either, to be honest, 147 00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:43,130 and they're really hoping nobody checks. 148 00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:46,010 What they do know is it ends in a seven. 149 00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:49,450 Now, what music can you play to your children to make them brainier? 150 00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:53,130 I won't be lured into saying any of the major classical composers 151 00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:55,930 because that's what's sold to parents of small children, 152 00:08:55,930 --> 00:09:01,570 that if you play them Mozart or Beethoven or something, it makes them smarter. Absolutely right. 153 00:09:01,570 --> 00:09:04,970 We had a little forfeit lurking behind the screen that said Mozart 154 00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:07,130 because people seem to have it in their heads 155 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:11,290 that they read somewhere once in some newspaper that... 156 00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:13,970 There's little Mozart. Oh, God, you could slap him! 157 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,730 Oh, now! 158 00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:19,530 Spoilt little brat! 159 00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:22,890 He was on the tour, he was touring at that age. He was dragging his arse. 160 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,730 He was doing the clubs, basically, 161 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,650 albeit they were clubs run by the crown heads of Europe. 162 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:32,210 Yes, the Bourbon Club and the Hohenzollern Club. There is no evidence at all 163 00:09:32,210 --> 00:09:34,970 that playing Mozart to a baby makes it more intelligent. 164 00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:38,250 I thought you were supposed to play natural sounds because 165 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:42,410 the noises of contemporary life are destructive and create behavioural difficulties. 166 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:46,570 That's why you mustn't have the television on until they're four or something like that. 167 00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:51,890 Really? I hadn't heard that one. That is not how parenting works, my friend! 168 00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:55,890 You train them to like television as quickly as they possibly can. 169 00:09:55,890 --> 00:10:00,690 There was no ADHD until TV was invented, they're kind of coincidental. 170 00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:02,330 They're happy with HD, my friend. 171 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,610 But is there music that makes them cleverer? 172 00:10:04,610 --> 00:10:07,890 Well, no, there was some study which has since been debunked 173 00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:13,730 by many other studies which claimed that the IQ went up, but it was only done to students, not to children. 174 00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:19,530 You can't test any of these things on children, because you'd have to have a control group, 175 00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:24,650 a baby that you're not playing Mozart to in the hope that the child is stupider. 176 00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:27,570 And that's a tough sell to parents, "We'd like to 177 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:35,290 "test your child by denying him any intellectual stimulation and hoping that he turns out dumb in the end." 178 00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:41,090 But not if you said, "We'll look after it 24 hours a day for the next six months to test this." 179 00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:43,730 Yeah, and we'll give you money. Ah! 180 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,490 Presumably, if you just play your child educational songs, 181 00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:51,730 like One Potato Two Potato, they'd at least learn that. That's true. 182 00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:54,010 And could count potatoes. 183 00:10:54,010 --> 00:10:59,450 An important life skill. Growing up in Ireland, that was vital. 184 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,650 "One, two - that seems to be it, we'd better go to America." 185 00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:09,170 Finished! 186 00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:12,330 Do you know about the English Mozarts? Do they mean anything to you? 187 00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:14,930 McFly? 188 00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:17,290 LAUGHTER 189 00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:18,610 Very, very popular. 190 00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:22,330 High quality, high quality. No, there were two chaps, one was Thomas Linley. 191 00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:25,770 He beat Mozart by playing a concerto at an earlier age even than Mozart did. 192 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:30,090 At 14, both boys played together, they looked to be future stars, but unfortunately, 193 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:34,010 Linley fell into a lake while boating and was drowned when aged 22. 194 00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:36,090 Pushed in by Mozart. 195 00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:41,610 But because there no recordings, it's all very impressive to say he played a concerto aged whatever. 196 00:11:41,610 --> 00:11:44,050 It might have been rubbish, do you know what I mean? 197 00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:50,010 No, people travelled, and they were the sensation of the age. 198 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:53,090 The other was Samuel Wesley but he banged his head and suffered 199 00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:55,690 from mild brain damage for the rest of his life. 200 00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:57,490 Tripped by Mozart. 201 00:11:57,490 --> 00:11:59,490 Yeah, there seems to be a pattern emerging. 202 00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:04,290 So there's no evidence that, in fact, playing Mozart to children makes them more intelligent. 203 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:08,170 If you can't dumb the kids up, how about dumbing them down? 204 00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:11,650 Why are exams so much easier for youngsters these days? 205 00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:13,810 BELL Dublin, O'Briain! Yes, Dara. 206 00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:16,010 Thank you very much. 207 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:20,610 Firstly, are they actually easier these days, or are they simply marked more generously? 208 00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:24,450 It is just one of these things, this may be a national thing you do, 209 00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:29,450 but you've a tendency to presume that you have a very stupid generation of kids in this country. 210 00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:32,850 Then you set them a series of exams, they all get As, and you go, "Proof!" 211 00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:38,050 That proves they're stupid, yes! It is a horrendous Catch 22 if you're a 17-year-old. 212 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:41,610 My problem with exams, though, is that more and more people get As, 213 00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:46,410 so whether that's because they're getting more intelligent or the exam's getting easier, or both, 214 00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:48,570 it still is defying the point of the exam. 215 00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:53,250 The point in exams is to tell people apart, not just to go, "You're all great academically! 216 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,570 "Everyone can be professor of Latin! 217 00:12:55,570 --> 00:12:59,970 "Share the professor of Latin's salary between you! 218 00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:05,090 "And starve!" You're right, it should be done by a percentile. Which is how it used to be done. 219 00:13:05,090 --> 00:13:09,370 And that's the point of our IQ test, and what's interesting about the IQ test 220 00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:13,890 is that each year it gets better by 0.3%, 221 00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:17,890 so 3% every ten years, children get smarter, so they have to normalise. 222 00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:22,410 So if you go back to your great-great-grandparents, 223 00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:26,650 they would be, under the Mental Health Act of 1983, retarded. 224 00:13:26,650 --> 00:13:30,290 Well... Because they would have an IQ of 70. 225 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:33,970 My great-grandfather signed his marriage certificate with a cross so... 226 00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:37,810 Was his name Xavier? I don't think it was! 227 00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:41,650 Well, perhaps he should have used a pen. 228 00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:48,210 I think Mensa is at the root of all this, surely. 229 00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:52,650 They say without irony, Mensa, on their website, "It's Latin for table," 230 00:13:52,650 --> 00:13:55,450 which Mensa is, but that's not why it's called Mensa. 231 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:59,050 It was originally called Mens, which is the Latin for mind, 232 00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:03,850 but they realised their magazine looked like some special-interest gay porn! 233 00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:10,890 So they added an A. Already, I'm not being filled with confidence that this is being run by geniuses! 234 00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:14,530 "It represents the round-table equality of Mensa. 235 00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:17,490 "Everyone's equal, there's no elitism at Mensa." Erm... 236 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:23,290 I'd like to set up a society for people who have an IQ of under 70 237 00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:27,210 and then go and try and sell them pyramid schemes. 238 00:14:27,210 --> 00:14:29,770 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 239 00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:35,290 The only thing that you might say is quite interesting about this, it's called the Flynn effect, 240 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:38,890 the fact that people are getting the better at it. Under American law, 241 00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:44,130 if you have an IQ of 70 or less, you cannot be executed for a capital crime. 242 00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:49,250 You're considered retarded, and therefore Flynn has often had to go... 243 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:52,810 People might have an IQ of 72, which means they're going to die, 244 00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:56,970 and he will say, "Yeah, but this was taken when he was a child, 245 00:14:56,970 --> 00:15:03,010 "and revising upwards the 100 norm, he's actually 68 or something, so he is technically retarded," 246 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:04,890 and he can save lives by doing that. 247 00:15:04,890 --> 00:15:07,250 Quite easy to throw an IQ test, I'd have thought. 248 00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:11,570 Yeah, but they're taken as children. They're not smart enough to throw an IQ test! 249 00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:17,850 That is really planning a murder, if you're seven, going, "I'll put a circle here... 250 00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:24,610 "In 15 years, you're dead!" 251 00:15:24,610 --> 00:15:27,850 It's kind of the reverse of the sort of eugenicist argument that 252 00:15:27,850 --> 00:15:32,130 the Americans are using, where they're letting the stupid live. 253 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:37,410 But anyway, young people find IQ tests easier than their parents 254 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:41,050 because apparently they're exposed to more problem solving in their life. 255 00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:45,610 Maybe geniuses are born, not made, and if so, how would you create a genius? 256 00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:49,170 Is there a way of ensuring a genius? 257 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:51,290 Breeding two geniuses together... 258 00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:54,290 Well... ..and then giving them a high-fibre diet, 259 00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:57,770 exposed to lots of vitamin D from the sun... 260 00:15:57,770 --> 00:16:01,370 You mention eugenicists earlier. Tell me what eugenics is, then. 261 00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:04,530 Yeah, tell us about your theory of eugenics! 262 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:10,930 I'm not sure, is it sort of generally trying to breed people to be brighter and stronger and better at things, 263 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:15,810 and stopping people from breeding if you think they might have stupid or feeble...? 264 00:16:15,810 --> 00:16:18,050 People farming! Nazism. 265 00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:19,690 People husbandry, isn't it? 266 00:16:19,690 --> 00:16:24,210 As Alan said, Nazism, of course, is a thing that... 267 00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:29,730 There were people, quite respectable antecedents and liberal points of view before Nazism 268 00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:32,850 who believed that eugenics may be a good idea. 269 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:35,490 Lots of them, yeah. Bernard Shaw and many others. 270 00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:40,610 I did a game show in America a while ago, and there was a contestant on it, this woman, 271 00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:44,450 and her sort of interesting fact, her fun fact about herself 272 00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:47,770 was that her father had been a serial killer, right? 273 00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:53,130 LAUGHTER And her other fun fact was she hadn't told her husband 274 00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:57,410 that her father was a serial killer until after they were married! 275 00:16:57,410 --> 00:17:01,050 So it's a light-hearted thing, but I'm trying to say to her, 276 00:17:01,050 --> 00:17:05,170 "Do you think maybe your husband would have been concerned about having children 277 00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:09,810 "given that there's a serial killer in you somewhere?" 278 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:16,410 And she went, "No, no, no, he's been through similar things - his father committed suicide." 279 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:20,890 And you just thought, "You've a serial killer and a suicidal man, 280 00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:24,610 "and you thought that was a good gene pool to be splashing around in!" 281 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:29,650 You would give birth to a child who kills himself lots of times. 282 00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,770 A serial suicide, it's terrifying! 283 00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:35,050 When you say after she'd married him, how long... 284 00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:38,170 Was it before the speeches? 285 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,930 LAUGHTER 286 00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:44,810 "Dad's about to say a few words, this might be worth catching." 287 00:17:44,810 --> 00:17:50,050 This may explain why he went with orange. 288 00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:55,450 The only one with plastic cutlery at the wedding reception. 289 00:17:57,050 --> 00:18:01,250 "Why are they wheeling your dad around with a cage over his face?" 290 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:07,010 I suppose what you'd do, then, you'd have a "Come as a serial killer" themed wedding. 291 00:18:08,610 --> 00:18:15,730 Can we just go back to the past? And on the subject of creating geniuses, who was one of the great geniuses? 292 00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:17,290 Well, Da Vinci. 293 00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:19,730 Da Vinci is exactly the man I was after. 294 00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:24,050 He was known to be a genius in his own time. I mean, they knew how astoundingly great he was. 295 00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:28,490 His brother, Bartolomeo, actually... 296 00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:28,490 Was an idiot. 297 00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:31,850 That's awful! 298 00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:35,890 Bartolomeo married, and he decided he wanted their child to be like 299 00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:38,970 his brother, Leonardo, and oddly enough, it sort of worked. 300 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:40,570 There's Leonardo dying. 301 00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:44,490 It shows he was kind of worshipped, they realised how great he was. 302 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,610 What's Rodney Bewes doing in the background? 303 00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,930 Yeah, it's defo Rodney Bewes! 304 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,610 He does look like Rodney Bewes. 305 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:56,890 Rodney Bewes is the Highlander, is he? 306 00:18:56,890 --> 00:19:00,050 What a weird, unsettling thing to discover that would be, 307 00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:05,170 in the context of the credit crunch and everything, suddenly to discover that Rodney Bewes was immortal. 308 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:10,370 I mean, can you imagine on the news, "And today it emerged that 309 00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:14,330 "actor Rodney Bewes has been alive for as long as time"? 310 00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:18,130 Given the things we've been talking about where I'm pretending to know 311 00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:22,530 what you're talking about, I actually really don't know who Rodney Bewes is. Oh! 312 00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:25,330 Do you remember The Likely Lads? 313 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,170 We didn't get that in Ireland, did we? No, we didn't. 314 00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:32,090 James Bolam... I know who he is! And Rodney Bewes. They played a couple... 315 00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:34,290 That's basically him there. Oh, right! > 316 00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:39,010 The chance of me meeting him in the future are very high. 317 00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:46,890 I have to say, the whole point about QI, right, is that the rest of the world talks about cultural things, 318 00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:52,850 reality TV and pop stars and Rodney Bewes, and we talk about Leonardo. 319 00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:55,850 And what you've done by coming on... No, you actually! 320 00:19:55,850 --> 00:20:01,050 We started talking about Leonardo, and we've arrived at Rodney Bewes! That's the wrong direction! 321 00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:03,570 I didn't even know who he was! 322 00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:06,850 Don't blame me! 323 00:20:06,850 --> 00:20:08,410 You're so right! 324 00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:12,730 I'm sorry! I was very unfair on you, Graham. 325 00:20:12,730 --> 00:20:15,890 I was wafting in the rarefied air of Leonardo. 326 00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:22,010 The stink bomb of Rodney Bewes was exploded over there. 327 00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:26,530 To me, Rodney Bewes looks older there than Rodney Bewes in our present time so I think 328 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:30,210 Rodney Bewes must, in the future, travel back in time 329 00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:35,770 to check Leonardo da Vinci's pulse to make absolutely sure he's dead, 330 00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:38,570 using the futuristic technology of pulse checking. 331 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:42,090 The others are all going, "What's this weirdo Rodney Bewes doing?" 332 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:46,130 The one on the right has his head in his hands, "It's so embarrassing." 333 00:20:46,130 --> 00:20:48,970 Why's he holding his hand? 334 00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:52,490 Yes, Leonardo was such a genius he predicted the Likely Lads. 335 00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:54,010 LAUGHTER 336 00:20:54,010 --> 00:20:57,970 He wanted James Bolam and Rodney Bewes has turned up. 337 00:20:57,970 --> 00:21:01,730 That's why he's going, "Oh no, it's Bewes." 338 00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:06,170 The one on the right has definitely got his hand on his head for that reason. 339 00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:08,450 We ordered John Cleese and Connie Booth. 340 00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:13,930 The one on the left is gesturing towards Rodney Bewes as if to say, "Leonardo, who's this dick?" 341 00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:15,850 LAUGHTER 342 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:19,570 "Seriously? Rodney Bewes?" > 343 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:23,650 "You brought Rodney Bewes here as a doctor?!" 344 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,770 That's Matthew Kelly anyway, that one. 345 00:21:25,770 --> 00:21:28,890 Oh no! No, don't make it Matthew Kelly. 346 00:21:28,890 --> 00:21:36,130 Oh, Lord. I've now got a horrible feeling that the Brian Blessed on the end has had his head sawn off. 347 00:21:36,130 --> 00:21:39,970 He's had his brain taken out. 348 00:21:39,970 --> 00:21:45,810 AS BRIAN BLESSED: That is no longer Brian Blessed! He's turned into somebody else! 349 00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:48,530 APPLAUSE 350 00:21:48,530 --> 00:21:50,770 I wanted... 351 00:21:50,770 --> 00:21:53,930 I wanted to discuss the fact that, unbeknownst to him, 352 00:21:53,930 --> 00:21:57,570 when Leonardo died, he had a nephew called Pierino, 353 00:21:57,570 --> 00:22:00,770 who was brought up to be a genius and actually kind of was. 354 00:22:00,770 --> 00:22:03,850 He was sent to Florence and demonstrated great talent, 355 00:22:03,850 --> 00:22:08,770 but sadly he died aged only 22, leaving 20 works behind him. Pushed out of a window by Michelangelo. 356 00:22:08,770 --> 00:22:12,130 Or possibly by Mozart. 357 00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:14,610 Working in tandem. 358 00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:16,530 Yes... 359 00:22:16,530 --> 00:22:23,410 Having stolen Rodney Bewes' time-travelling technology. Exactly, it all makes sense. Yes. 360 00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,250 Sort of, yeah. 361 00:22:25,250 --> 00:22:29,250 What can you tell me, quite interesting, while we're on the subject of Leonardo, 362 00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:32,130 aside that Rodney Bewes was his doctor, which I didn't know, 363 00:22:32,130 --> 00:22:35,170 what can you tell me about the Last Supper? 364 00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:38,290 BELL Peterhouse, Cambridge, Mitchell! 365 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:41,890 Did he sort of paint it... Is the reason it's peeling so badly 366 00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:46,250 is he didn't listen to the people who were experts in that kind of painting? 367 00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:51,610 He said, "No, I'm a genius, I know best" so he slapped it on randomly. 368 00:22:51,610 --> 00:22:56,730 As a result, it's decaying a lot worse than other sort of frescos like that. 369 00:22:56,730 --> 00:22:59,250 In his own lifetime, it started to fall apart. 370 00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:03,330 He painted it onto dry plaster instead of on wet plaster which is what a fresco is. 371 00:23:03,330 --> 00:23:07,050 Then sadly, in Napoleon's time, it was used as a... Dartboard. 372 00:23:07,050 --> 00:23:10,810 ..storeroom, virtually as a dartboard, yes. A stabling, it was used as. 373 00:23:10,810 --> 00:23:14,010 Yes, because the door was knocked through the tablecloth, wasn't it? 374 00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:19,370 You should be able to see Christ's legs but they just added a door so it was probably vandalised there. 375 00:23:19,370 --> 00:23:24,370 They must have thought, "It's a bit rubbish, it hasn't been done very well." No, exactly. 376 00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:29,090 All the other fresco painters are going, "The thing about Leonardo da Vinci, he will not listen." 377 00:23:29,090 --> 00:23:30,810 Exactly. 378 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:33,570 Did he paint people in that he knew? 379 00:23:33,570 --> 00:23:37,690 I'm not sure, in his case. It was obviously a thing that used to be done in Renaissance art. 380 00:23:37,690 --> 00:23:40,250 They're fussing about "I had the pitta bread 381 00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:43,970 "but I didn't have any wine so I don't see why I should pay as much as Peter." 382 00:23:43,970 --> 00:23:47,650 "Luke had that! I'm not paying for that!" 383 00:23:47,650 --> 00:23:52,290 It's interesting because it is a room of people being repelled by Jesus, he is... 384 00:23:52,290 --> 00:23:55,250 Jesus was saying, "This is the last bloody supper I'm going to." 385 00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:57,450 LAUGHTER 386 00:23:57,450 --> 00:24:01,330 Obviously, Leonardo was a fine artist, he didn't actually 387 00:24:01,330 --> 00:24:04,810 make any real contribution to science at all. Or did he? 388 00:24:04,810 --> 00:24:09,850 A flying machine, or was that a forfeit? No, it wasn't a forfeit but it just wouldn't have worked. 389 00:24:09,850 --> 00:24:13,690 Yes, it's a drawing of a helicopter, isn't it? 390 00:24:13,690 --> 00:24:16,450 I did drawings of spaceships when I was about five 391 00:24:16,450 --> 00:24:21,690 and I'd be embarrassed if somebody had said I had invented interstellar travelling. 392 00:24:21,690 --> 00:24:25,730 Then, if he just did some paintings, what's the fuss? 393 00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:28,090 Well, because his curiosity was so wide-ranging. 394 00:24:28,090 --> 00:24:30,170 Machines of war and in anatomy and so on. 395 00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:33,410 But partly, the reason he didn't contribute to science is he did 396 00:24:33,410 --> 00:24:39,010 actually make a few discoveries, is that he wrote a mirror writing diary which was also in code that wasn't 397 00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:44,850 really looked at or interpreted until 1970, by which time almost everything he'd discovered which 398 00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:49,650 might have been considered new 50, 100 years earlier, had already been independently discovered. 399 00:24:49,650 --> 00:24:53,850 So in that sense, he didn't really contribute, but he's considered 400 00:24:53,850 --> 00:24:58,730 the prototypical genius or archetypal Renaissance man. 401 00:24:58,730 --> 00:25:01,770 Submarine? Did he come up with the submarine? 402 00:25:01,770 --> 00:25:05,850 He might have done a drawing about submarines, I'm not sure. 403 00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:06,930 The Beatles. 404 00:25:06,930 --> 00:25:12,930 He just did a wavy line and covered it in blue. And then he did, like, kitchen. 405 00:25:12,930 --> 00:25:15,290 A big fish looking in. A man waving. 406 00:25:15,290 --> 00:25:19,290 Probably no room for a tennis court, practically thinking. 407 00:25:19,290 --> 00:25:23,570 Anyway, if everyone could roll their tongues for me. 408 00:25:23,570 --> 00:25:26,610 Very good. Get a close-up on Graham. 409 00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:28,810 LAUGHTER What the hell?! 410 00:25:32,730 --> 00:25:36,690 I think it's supposed to be an illustration of > 411 00:25:36,690 --> 00:25:40,650 a child of two geniuses may not necessarily be a genius. 412 00:25:40,650 --> 00:25:44,850 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I don't know who says that. 413 00:25:44,850 --> 00:25:46,130 Yes, roll your tongues. 414 00:25:46,130 --> 00:25:48,810 Where does that gift come from? If it is a gift. 415 00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:52,930 Where does that ability... I literally can't do it. A fish. 416 00:25:56,210 --> 00:25:59,970 You asked! Yes I did, and you gave an answer! 417 00:25:59,970 --> 00:26:04,970 You avoided the trap, which was to say from your parents, that it's genetically handed down. 418 00:26:04,970 --> 00:26:07,530 Some people can do it and some people can't. 419 00:26:07,530 --> 00:26:12,890 It isn't related to the fact that, if you come from two parents who can do it, you'll be able to do it. 420 00:26:12,890 --> 00:26:18,090 There are other things that some people can do and other people can't, like asparagus and urine. 421 00:26:18,090 --> 00:26:19,810 Does it make your urine smell? 422 00:26:19,810 --> 00:26:25,370 It makes everyone's urine smell. No, it doesn't. Maybe not ladies. Yes, mostly women don't have them. 423 00:26:25,370 --> 00:26:28,210 Can you put your hand up if you've never noticed the effect 424 00:26:28,210 --> 00:26:30,930 of asparagus in the smell of your urine? ALAN: Weird. 425 00:26:30,930 --> 00:26:34,170 GRAHAM: You've never noticed? DARA: I've never noticed that. 426 00:26:34,170 --> 00:26:37,690 It's instant. You've hardly finished chewing, 427 00:26:37,690 --> 00:26:41,130 and then you're peeing and it stinks. 428 00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:46,130 They used to call it... Other diners are pointing at you. 429 00:26:46,130 --> 00:26:49,370 You should be doing that in the toilet. 430 00:26:49,370 --> 00:26:51,450 It stinks and he's doing it in here. 431 00:26:51,450 --> 00:26:54,770 They used to call it "housemaid's despair" because the next morning, 432 00:26:54,770 --> 00:26:59,170 if someone had had asparagus, the housemaid would take down the chamber pot like "eew"! 433 00:26:59,170 --> 00:27:01,650 I find it - maybe I'm wrong, maybe - 434 00:27:01,650 --> 00:27:05,250 I find the smell of urine quite distasteful anyway. 435 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:07,490 No, no. Believe me... 436 00:27:07,490 --> 00:27:11,450 If you've got stinky pee, you need to see someone. I don't. 437 00:27:11,450 --> 00:27:13,290 There's something wrong with you. 438 00:27:13,290 --> 00:27:15,090 You've got a disease! 439 00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:18,930 It presumably doesn't make you go "Argh"? 440 00:27:18,930 --> 00:27:22,370 It just makes me go, "I'll not drink that." 441 00:27:24,650 --> 00:27:28,370 If you peed out Chardonnay, that would be something else. 442 00:27:28,370 --> 00:27:30,170 Best to leave that alone, I feel. 443 00:27:30,170 --> 00:27:33,330 I'll leave you alone because I've just done it into a toilet. 444 00:27:33,330 --> 00:27:38,490 I didn't say I was, you know, I was flavouring stuff. 445 00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:42,570 If you decanted it, that would be different. 446 00:27:42,570 --> 00:27:47,050 When I was a child, Sugar Puffs made it smell of Sugar Puffs to me. Anybody else? 447 00:27:47,050 --> 00:27:49,530 SOME AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Yes. 448 00:27:49,530 --> 00:27:51,410 Oh, good. Nice not to feel alone! 449 00:27:51,410 --> 00:27:57,250 I had asparagus in the past and it didn't make my wee smell, and it's only in recent years that it has. 450 00:27:57,250 --> 00:28:01,610 That is interesting. And it's an interesting audience, and they have all got 451 00:28:01,610 --> 00:28:04,530 exactly the right little bodies that do the right things. 452 00:28:04,530 --> 00:28:11,370 He's still fuming. I think people are a lot more interested in their wee than they'll admit. 453 00:28:11,370 --> 00:28:12,970 That's certainly true. 454 00:28:12,970 --> 00:28:17,130 People are interested in what comes out of them, I think is a general rule. 455 00:28:17,130 --> 00:28:22,290 Not in an icky way, but there's an element of... that. 456 00:28:22,290 --> 00:28:26,490 I just want to make the point that if you ask someone about their interests, 457 00:28:26,490 --> 00:28:28,490 they'll say walking, cinema, books. 458 00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:34,210 They won't say, "Well, primarily the smell of my own farts, I'm always fascinated by. 459 00:28:34,210 --> 00:28:38,690 "But they don't come all the time so I while away the rest of the time with cinema, books..." 460 00:28:38,690 --> 00:28:44,130 If I could just fart all day and smell it, I would be a fascinated man. 461 00:28:44,130 --> 00:28:45,370 LAUGHTER 462 00:28:45,370 --> 00:28:50,890 You're so right! I think most psychologists would agree with you and say it's true, but unspoken. 463 00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:55,690 Ask anyone on earth when they've just farted and smelt it, who is bored? 464 00:28:55,690 --> 00:28:59,290 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 465 00:28:59,290 --> 00:29:02,610 You know what that means? It means when someone is reading. 466 00:29:02,610 --> 00:29:05,650 They're reading a book and reading a book, if they go like that... 467 00:29:08,250 --> 00:29:12,170 They aren't thinking about the book, they've just let one go. 468 00:29:19,130 --> 00:29:24,450 It's true. It's odd. We laugh at it and yet it's an obsession from the cradle onwards virtually. 469 00:29:24,450 --> 00:29:28,530 Anyway, despite what we're taught, the fact is a lot of these strange 470 00:29:28,530 --> 00:29:33,610 things like tongue rolling don't come from our parents. It doesn't follow you can if your parents can. 471 00:29:33,610 --> 00:29:37,010 Which was the first animal to be cloned? 472 00:29:37,010 --> 00:29:39,450 Well it can't be... 473 00:29:39,450 --> 00:29:41,090 It's not Dolly the sheep then. 474 00:29:41,090 --> 00:29:46,410 No, you're right. You have all been so good at avoiding the honey traps. 475 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:49,290 No, but I thought it was Dolly the sheep, but it's not. 476 00:29:49,290 --> 00:29:53,890 Not the first animal, no. We have to go back to the 1880s for the first cloning. 477 00:29:53,890 --> 00:29:55,730 Yes, it was a sea creature actually. 478 00:29:55,730 --> 00:29:58,970 An octopus or something? No, it was a sea urchin. 479 00:29:58,970 --> 00:30:03,850 There's one. This was a German called Dreisch who did it in 1885. 480 00:30:03,850 --> 00:30:08,490 But in 1902, another German, Hans Spemann, cloned a salamander. 481 00:30:08,490 --> 00:30:12,970 He used a rudimentary noose to to separate the cells of an embryo, 482 00:30:12,970 --> 00:30:16,370 and the noose was made of the hair of a human baby. 483 00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:21,010 He used it as a lasso just to separate. Isn't that marvellous? 484 00:30:21,010 --> 00:30:25,050 That's fiddly work. It is very fiddly work. 485 00:30:25,050 --> 00:30:28,330 There must have been lots of times where he used to go... SHOUTS 486 00:30:31,970 --> 00:30:35,810 "Could I please have another baby's hair?" 487 00:30:35,810 --> 00:30:39,210 Go back to the baby. "Argh!" 488 00:30:41,490 --> 00:30:43,130 "One Guinea, madam." 489 00:30:43,130 --> 00:30:46,850 All the people trying to keep him calm. "Would you like another... 490 00:30:46,850 --> 00:30:48,490 "NO, I DON'T WANT ANOTHER COFFEE!" 491 00:30:48,490 --> 00:30:53,970 They'll go, "Do you want me to have a go?" 492 00:30:53,970 --> 00:30:59,610 But Dolly, Dolly was in 1996, Dolly the sheep was the one you cleverly avoided. But why Dolly? 493 00:30:59,610 --> 00:31:07,130 Why poor Dolly, do you know? It was named after Dolly Parton because the cell came from the mammary glands. 494 00:31:07,130 --> 00:31:08,810 Correctly correctington. 495 00:31:08,810 --> 00:31:10,730 Well done, sir. Excellent. 496 00:31:10,730 --> 00:31:12,690 APPLAUSE 497 00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:19,370 It would be quite easy to palm off any sheep as being the clone of another sheep. 498 00:31:19,370 --> 00:31:25,170 Do you think there was a point where they go, "We can just get another sheep and say there it is. 499 00:31:25,170 --> 00:31:27,450 "It's genetically identical that one, yes. 500 00:31:27,450 --> 00:31:31,530 "Those two sheep look similar, well, that's because they're genetically identical." 501 00:31:31,530 --> 00:31:35,130 Oddly enough, things can be genetically identical and rather surprising, 502 00:31:35,130 --> 00:31:39,050 because the first cat to be cloned was called Rainbow 503 00:31:39,050 --> 00:31:42,850 and her clone was known as CC. There. 504 00:31:42,850 --> 00:31:46,490 They just didn't put the effort in did they? 505 00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:50,210 They went to all the pet shops for that little faker. 506 00:31:50,210 --> 00:31:57,370 They could at least have sent the guy who they sent to get the kitten with a photo. 507 00:31:57,370 --> 00:32:00,530 Not just get any cat. 508 00:32:00,530 --> 00:32:02,970 The little kitten is called CC. 509 00:32:02,970 --> 00:32:05,850 Points if you can guess what that stands for. Cat clone? 510 00:32:05,850 --> 00:32:08,810 Wittier, or sort of wittier. 511 00:32:08,810 --> 00:32:10,090 Say? AUDIENCE: Copycat. 512 00:32:10,090 --> 00:32:12,850 Points to the audience. Copycat, you see? 513 00:32:12,850 --> 00:32:14,570 Very good. 514 00:32:14,570 --> 00:32:19,370 The operation was known as Operation Copycat, it was part of a larger project to clone a dog. 515 00:32:19,370 --> 00:32:21,690 LAUGHTER 516 00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:25,250 It was called Missy, Missyplicity named after a dog named Missy. 517 00:32:25,250 --> 00:32:29,890 The world's first cloned dog from Korea was called Snuppy. 518 00:32:29,890 --> 00:32:31,690 Then they ate it. 519 00:32:31,690 --> 00:32:33,050 LAUGHTER 520 00:32:36,770 --> 00:32:41,450 Anyway, the point is the first animal to be cloned was the sea urchin way back in 1885. 521 00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:44,770 Since then, many other animals have been given the treatment, 522 00:32:44,770 --> 00:32:48,050 including the first cloned cats which look nothing like each other. 523 00:32:48,050 --> 00:32:52,170 No, it doesn't take a genius to know that it's time to look for some general ignorance. 524 00:32:52,170 --> 00:32:54,770 Fingers on buzzers, if you would. How old are you? 525 00:32:54,770 --> 00:32:58,170 LAUGHTER 526 00:32:58,170 --> 00:33:00,530 BELL Norton. 527 00:33:00,530 --> 00:33:03,170 How old do I look? 528 00:33:03,170 --> 00:33:05,570 BELL 529 00:33:05,570 --> 00:33:08,490 How old do I feel? 530 00:33:08,490 --> 00:33:11,330 It just shows you the effect of this game though. 531 00:33:11,330 --> 00:33:14,090 You ask a question, and all four of us think that's something 532 00:33:14,090 --> 00:33:18,570 I definitely know the answer to, but I've been made so uncertain that 533 00:33:18,570 --> 00:33:22,330 I'm not even willing to give my own age, name or address. 534 00:33:22,330 --> 00:33:25,570 How can this possibly be a trap? I am 37. 535 00:33:25,570 --> 00:33:28,450 BELL 37. There we go, no points for that. 536 00:33:28,450 --> 00:33:31,010 ALARM BLARES 537 00:33:32,610 --> 00:33:34,570 But that's not wrong! 538 00:33:34,570 --> 00:33:38,010 DAVID: Don't accept it, you are! 539 00:33:38,010 --> 00:33:40,010 GRAHAM: We should all do it. 540 00:33:40,010 --> 00:33:42,130 BELL 34. 541 00:33:42,130 --> 00:33:44,490 34, eh? 34. ALARM BLARES 542 00:33:46,690 --> 00:33:48,010 You don't want to do this. 543 00:33:48,010 --> 00:33:50,890 BELL Graham Norton, 46. 544 00:33:50,890 --> 00:33:52,810 ALARM BLARES 545 00:33:53,690 --> 00:33:55,650 ALAN: I'm not doing it. 546 00:33:55,650 --> 00:33:57,170 LAUGHTER 547 00:33:57,170 --> 00:34:05,250 Obviously, as the baby that was called Graham, or Dara or David or Alan, 548 00:34:05,250 --> 00:34:08,770 arrived on the planet the number of years ago that you said, 549 00:34:08,770 --> 00:34:11,850 but that's not how old you are whenever I touch you. 550 00:34:11,850 --> 00:34:14,490 If I touch your arm, how old is that arm? Is it as old as that? 551 00:34:14,490 --> 00:34:16,970 About six weeks old, something like that? 552 00:34:16,970 --> 00:34:19,890 DAVID: Is it five years we replace our entire selves? 553 00:34:19,890 --> 00:34:23,050 There are different bits of one, that's right. 554 00:34:23,050 --> 00:34:26,690 DARA: Your cells regenerate. Your red blood cells last only 120 days. 555 00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:29,890 A liver has a turnaround time of 300 to 500 days, 1.5 years. 556 00:34:29,890 --> 00:34:31,530 GRAHAM: Hurry up! 557 00:34:31,530 --> 00:34:34,650 LAUGHTER 558 00:34:34,650 --> 00:34:37,770 Give it a chance to recover. 559 00:34:37,770 --> 00:34:42,330 The entire human skeleton is replaced every 10 years or so, so all of your bones. 560 00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:44,450 Really? That's good, isn't it? 561 00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:46,010 Yeah, it is! 562 00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:49,010 They're replaced in an aged way, rather annoyingly, 563 00:34:49,010 --> 00:34:52,690 rather than a brand new one. So they're replaced with second-hand ones? 564 00:34:52,690 --> 00:34:54,530 Not exactly used, no. 565 00:34:54,530 --> 00:34:59,770 I'm thinking of trading in my eight year-old Mazda for an eight and a bit year-old Mazda. 566 00:34:59,770 --> 00:35:04,130 I'm afraid that's how it goes, yes. It's all rather unfortunate. 567 00:35:04,130 --> 00:35:07,610 An adult's body may turnout somewhere between seven and ten years old 568 00:35:07,610 --> 00:35:11,130 in terms of its cells, though some cells are much younger. 569 00:35:11,130 --> 00:35:16,290 And 98% of the 7 billion billion billion atoms in the human body are replaced yearly. 570 00:35:16,290 --> 00:35:19,650 I think some of my socks are older than I am. 571 00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:21,650 That's a marvellous thought. 572 00:35:21,650 --> 00:35:26,130 I feel I should defer to them. 573 00:35:26,130 --> 00:35:31,450 Yes, you've been around longer than me. Most of the cells in your body aren't your own, they're not human. 574 00:35:31,450 --> 00:35:34,250 This is bacteria? 575 00:35:34,250 --> 00:35:38,330 Yes, they're bacteria. In fact, more than 500 different species, 576 00:35:38,330 --> 00:35:42,210 more than ten times the number of human cells. Isn't that interesting? 577 00:35:42,210 --> 00:35:45,850 On average, all the cells in your body are around ten years old. 578 00:35:45,850 --> 00:35:50,090 How did the Church of England originally react to Darwin's theory of evolution? 579 00:35:50,090 --> 00:35:53,370 They weren't happy about it. They weren't happy about it! 580 00:35:53,370 --> 00:35:56,090 BELL They didn't get it, I don't think. 581 00:35:56,090 --> 00:35:57,650 Nobody really got it for a while. 582 00:35:57,650 --> 00:36:03,610 He delivered it to a meeting of the Royal Society, I think it was, and people just kind of went, "Oh, OK." 583 00:36:03,610 --> 00:36:06,530 That's true of his original paper, but when he published 584 00:36:06,530 --> 00:36:09,050 The Origin Of Species, it was a massive bestseller. 585 00:36:09,050 --> 00:36:14,170 It fact it sold out even before it was printed, and he was a gigantic figure of his time. 586 00:36:14,170 --> 00:36:18,890 He was one of only five people not royal to be given a burial at Westminster Abbey. 587 00:36:18,890 --> 00:36:20,890 They absolutely understood his greatness. 588 00:36:20,890 --> 00:36:24,730 The surprising thing is the Church of England were not that worried at all. 589 00:36:24,730 --> 00:36:29,570 But for many years most churchmen had encouraged people to believe 590 00:36:29,570 --> 00:36:31,250 that a lot of the Bible was metaphorical, 591 00:36:31,250 --> 00:36:34,250 not literally true, but if there's anything 592 00:36:34,250 --> 00:36:38,330 shocking about it to them, it's that it shows nature doesn't care. Yes. 593 00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:44,170 The idea of a linear evolution they thought was fine, that might have been part of God's plan, 594 00:36:44,170 --> 00:36:49,170 but the true understanding of evolution also shows that nature is completely horrific. 595 00:36:49,170 --> 00:36:53,970 That was the major part the Victorians hated because they loved the countryside and birdsong. 596 00:36:53,970 --> 00:36:57,090 This is Alexander's All Things Bright and Beautiful. 597 00:36:57,090 --> 00:37:00,890 And instead they're locked in a vicious struggle for survival where all... 598 00:37:00,890 --> 00:37:07,050 All animals are hungry and afraid and they die before they get old and it's a miserable, hard life. 599 00:37:07,050 --> 00:37:09,850 Unless they live in zoos, where they're quite stress-free. 600 00:37:09,850 --> 00:37:12,810 It is, it's a life they wouldn't expect in the wild. 601 00:37:12,810 --> 00:37:15,730 Maybe, if you let them out of the zoo for a little bit, 602 00:37:15,730 --> 00:37:20,130 and let them back in the circus, just a little bit? 603 00:37:20,130 --> 00:37:22,890 I miss a dog pushing a pram. 604 00:37:22,890 --> 00:37:24,250 LAUGHTER 605 00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:29,010 Cirque du Soleil is all very well, but an elephant counting... 606 00:37:29,010 --> 00:37:32,410 You're pitching yourself in a tailcoat and tights and a top hat, 607 00:37:32,410 --> 00:37:38,970 welcoming everybody to Circus X Factor, Call Me A Nancy! Aren't you? 608 00:37:38,970 --> 00:37:42,490 But you have to do the elephant's back story, 609 00:37:42,490 --> 00:37:47,250 "This is the elephants last chance at a career in show business." 610 00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:51,330 And the elephant bursts into tears. He's doing this for his dead grandfather, 611 00:37:51,330 --> 00:37:55,250 and then a shot of the elephant staring at a big pile of ivory. 612 00:37:55,250 --> 00:37:57,050 LAUGHTER 613 00:38:00,970 --> 00:38:04,770 You're a sick puppy. Or maybe some piano keys? 614 00:38:04,770 --> 00:38:06,290 LAUGHTER 615 00:38:07,090 --> 00:38:09,490 Get someone to play for him. 616 00:38:09,490 --> 00:38:12,330 Who, me?! 617 00:38:12,330 --> 00:38:15,690 DARA: Yeah, my granddad was in show business as well. 618 00:38:17,610 --> 00:38:21,250 So The Origin Of Species was widely respected by mainstream 619 00:38:21,250 --> 00:38:23,250 churchmen at the time of its publication. 620 00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:25,210 From one controversy to another. 621 00:38:25,210 --> 00:38:30,330 What kind of pet did Charles Cruft have? 622 00:38:30,330 --> 00:38:35,130 Oh, come on! I mean... A cat. 623 00:38:35,130 --> 00:38:37,850 Yes! 624 00:38:39,410 --> 00:38:41,570 Very good. 625 00:38:41,570 --> 00:38:43,570 He did indeed. 626 00:38:43,570 --> 00:38:49,090 He was the scion of a thriving jewellery business in the 19th century and he was a fine salesmen, 627 00:38:49,090 --> 00:38:53,930 and he went into business with a man called Spratt who made dog cakes. Dog cakes! 628 00:38:53,930 --> 00:38:55,850 Well, like a biscuit really. 629 00:38:55,850 --> 00:38:59,410 Oh. A dog biscuit is fine, but a dog cake is mad?! 630 00:38:59,410 --> 00:39:04,930 I thought you meant a cake made out of dog. That would be mad. 631 00:39:04,930 --> 00:39:11,370 Dog biscuit sounds like it's for dogs and dog cake sounds like it's got a lovely layer of dog in the middle. 632 00:39:11,370 --> 00:39:17,970 I went fish cake - dog cake. I see. Now that does make sense, sorry. 633 00:39:17,970 --> 00:39:21,290 But he sort of founded the business 634 00:39:21,290 --> 00:39:23,770 of the large dog show, Charles Cruft. 635 00:39:23,770 --> 00:39:30,690 It got bigger and was hugely successful until he died in 1938 and the Kennel Club took over. 636 00:39:30,690 --> 00:39:36,290 All kinds of problems seemed to come from inbreeding and the sponsors withdrew, the dog food sponsor 637 00:39:36,290 --> 00:39:40,810 Pedigree withdrew, the BBC withdrew, RSPCA and a dog charity all withdrew. 638 00:39:40,810 --> 00:39:44,570 So this year Crufts was broadcast live on the internet for the first time. 639 00:39:44,570 --> 00:39:48,250 Cat shows are much more interesting because cats are shown, obviously, 640 00:39:48,250 --> 00:39:51,530 in a similar kind of way, but in that kind of cat independent way, 641 00:39:51,530 --> 00:39:54,890 where they don't seem to be aware of it. 642 00:39:54,890 --> 00:39:58,490 What you do is you lift up the cat and essentially... Fluff it. 643 00:39:58,490 --> 00:40:01,570 No, you make it do Superman. 644 00:40:01,570 --> 00:40:05,530 All cats in the show just have that cat look of... 645 00:40:07,130 --> 00:40:09,690 Two legs at the back, or whatever. 646 00:40:09,690 --> 00:40:13,890 They just look...disinterested. 647 00:40:13,890 --> 00:40:18,050 The other side of Crufts not being on the television is that 648 00:40:18,050 --> 00:40:22,370 it's a real relief that Crufts isn't on the television, isn't it? 649 00:40:22,370 --> 00:40:26,210 I think if I was to define a terrible idea for a programme, 650 00:40:26,210 --> 00:40:30,250 it would be pretty much Crufts. 651 00:40:30,250 --> 00:40:34,570 Or men playing golf. 652 00:40:34,570 --> 00:40:38,130 Don't you like golf? No, I don't understand why golf's on television. 653 00:40:38,130 --> 00:40:41,250 I love watching golf. I'm absolutely passionate about it. 654 00:40:41,250 --> 00:40:43,890 But what are you watching? The golf. 655 00:40:43,890 --> 00:40:46,330 LAUGHTER 656 00:40:46,330 --> 00:40:51,290 He hits it and then the camera just goes sky, sky, sky, sky, sky, 657 00:40:51,290 --> 00:40:54,850 it's over there somewhere. That's not good television, is it? 658 00:40:54,850 --> 00:40:56,330 APPLAUSE 659 00:40:59,530 --> 00:41:04,130 The founder of Crufts, Charles Cruft, did have a cat, but he didn't care for dogs. 660 00:41:04,130 --> 00:41:07,890 Finally, how many brains did the man with two brains have? 661 00:41:07,890 --> 00:41:10,490 Two. Yes. 662 00:41:10,490 --> 00:41:12,490 LAUGHTER 663 00:41:12,490 --> 00:41:13,970 That's brilliant! 664 00:41:13,970 --> 00:41:15,570 APPLAUSE 665 00:41:15,570 --> 00:41:18,250 It's so cruel! 666 00:41:20,130 --> 00:41:22,690 He's wise enough to spot a double bluff. 667 00:41:22,690 --> 00:41:25,890 This is a technique of the bully. 668 00:41:25,890 --> 00:41:31,770 You hit us and then you go, "What, did you think I was going to hit you? 669 00:41:31,770 --> 00:41:35,770 "I wasn't going to hit you. I've just lifted my hand to stroke you." 670 00:41:36,810 --> 00:41:38,770 HE WHIMPERS 671 00:41:40,890 --> 00:41:44,850 You're so right, that's exactly what we do. 672 00:41:44,850 --> 00:41:48,690 The fact is that Dr Michael Gerschwin has proved that we all have two brains. 673 00:41:48,690 --> 00:41:55,410 Your gut has an enteric nervous system and it's the only part of the body that can operate 674 00:41:55,410 --> 00:42:00,810 perfectly if all connections are cut from the upper brain, from the real brain, the thing we call the brain. 675 00:42:00,810 --> 00:42:05,330 It doesn't have the intelligence and consciousness of the brain, but it operates separately. 676 00:42:05,330 --> 00:42:07,170 In that sense we do have two brains. 677 00:42:07,170 --> 00:42:10,450 How bright would our stomachs be in the animal kingdom? 678 00:42:10,450 --> 00:42:12,170 Would they be cleverer than an octopus? 679 00:42:12,170 --> 00:42:17,770 I doubt it, I think they're just good at one thing and that's preparing poo for exit. 680 00:42:17,770 --> 00:42:21,210 Basically, it's not even the stomach, it's the gut. 681 00:42:21,210 --> 00:42:24,570 It's the greater and lesser intestine, the colon. 682 00:42:24,570 --> 00:42:30,050 Like all of us, The Man With Two Brains actually did have two brains, according to the latest thinking. 683 00:42:30,050 --> 00:42:32,730 The gut does act as a separate brain, so pens down, stop writing. 684 00:42:32,730 --> 00:42:36,050 That's it for our exam today, geniuses. Time to mark your papers. 685 00:42:36,050 --> 00:42:38,170 Well, my goodness, my gracious, 686 00:42:38,170 --> 00:42:41,530 the newcomer with minus 19, Graham Norton. 687 00:42:41,530 --> 00:42:43,170 APPLAUSE 688 00:42:47,370 --> 00:42:51,930 In third place, with minus eight, David Mitchell. 689 00:42:51,930 --> 00:42:53,250 APPLAUSE 690 00:42:57,370 --> 00:43:01,650 In second place with a very respectable minus seven, Dara O'Briain. 691 00:43:01,650 --> 00:43:03,010 APPLAUSE 692 00:43:05,930 --> 00:43:09,970 Which can only mean, with today's geniuses of geniuses of genius 693 00:43:09,970 --> 00:43:12,370 is Alan Davies with four points! 694 00:43:12,370 --> 00:43:14,410 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 695 00:43:19,930 --> 00:43:24,050 So that's all from QI. My thanks go to Graham, Dara, David and Alan. 696 00:43:24,050 --> 00:43:27,010 I leave you with our genius Leonardo da Vinci's favourite joke. 697 00:43:27,010 --> 00:43:30,970 It was asked of a painter, why, since he made such beautiful figures, 698 00:43:30,970 --> 00:43:35,810 which were of dead things, why his children were so ugly, to which the painter replied 699 00:43:35,810 --> 00:43:39,690 that he made his pictures by day, but his children by night. 700 00:43:46,450 --> 00:43:48,490 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 701 00:43:48,490 --> 00:43:50,650 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk