1 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:30,320 Well! 2 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:36,320 Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, 3 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:41,360 and welcome to QI, which tonight is a wholesale homage 4 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,240 to all that is horrible. 5 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,680 Queasily hunched over the handrail with me tonight are 6 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,360 the disgusted Dara Ó Briain. 7 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,960 The appalled Chris Addison. 8 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,880 - The shuddering Sean Lock. - Thank you. 9 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,440 And the slightly disturbed Alan Davies. 10 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:19,560 Their buzzers are a hideous foretaste of the loathsomeness to come. 11 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:20,040 Chris goes... 12 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,240 - Dara goes... - That is disgusting! 13 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,500 Sean goes... 14 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,480 - And Alan goes... - Hello, I'm Piers Morgan. 15 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:38,500 Fabulous. 16 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,500 So... Very good. 17 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,500 Pass the sick bag, Alice, let's plunge in. 18 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,600 Where do you think this little chap lives? 19 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,500 I bet it's about your person, is it? 20 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:56,560 Mm, it's certainly... Let's just say it is parasitical. 21 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,360 It looks like it fits on the top of a pencil. 22 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,360 As a good luck charm for your exams? 23 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,360 You know, like kids have stuff on the end of their pencils, yeah? 24 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,360 One of those? 25 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,360 Or has someones head been removed? Is it a massive thing? 26 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,500 Ah! No, it's not that. 27 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:14,500 I reckon it looks like it lives around something that's long. 28 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:15,500 Yes! 29 00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:18,500 Long, and... And that it's got lots of blood in it. 30 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,500 It's... Yeah... 31 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,500 Maybe, a couple of veins... It might have a couple of veins in it, whatever it is... 32 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:27,500 Just to get a bit of purchase, 'cos it was just long and smooth, it would slide down it. 33 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,500 - Where are you going!? Sean? - Something that... 34 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,500 - Something that's got a certain texture to it... - Sean? 35 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,500 - Sean! - That's got a bit of give in it... 36 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,500 I'm gonna rain you in, Sean. 37 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,500 - I'm just... - Yeah. 38 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:41,500 You're... You're kind of right, in that it's a slidy organ. A wet organ... 39 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,500 - That it's... - You could have made for! 40 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,500 I think that... Looking at it, I think it lives in the dark. 41 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,840 It's black all around it. 42 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,840 - That's it in its natural environment. - Yeah! 43 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,840 No, it's got that translucent, I'm not worried about how I look feeling. 44 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:07,500 Actually, it's a mouthpiece. It's a mouth part that it latches on to. 45 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,500 - The tongue. - The tongue. 46 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,500 The tongue? Yes, there's a tongue of a... 47 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,500 - A tongue mite? - ...particular fish. 48 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:15,500 It is indeed. It's called a tongue eating louse. 49 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,500 Is it the tongue of the thwh-thwh-thwh fish? 50 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,500 It is... 51 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,500 It developed fins like that. 52 00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:27,500 And fish have tongues? I have never heard of a fish... 53 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,500 - Yeah! - What? Really? What? Why? 54 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,500 - "Why?" - Why would a fish have...? 55 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,500 Rehearse, they get a whistle. 56 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,500 - This is the African blacktail. - That's not it's actual size, is it? 57 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:42,500 Yes, it's a big fish. It's the African blacktail. 58 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,500 The really gruesome thing about this louse, 59 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,500 is that it latches onto the tongue - you can see how big it is, 60 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,500 and it sucks the blood out of the tongue 61 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:54,500 such that the tongue disappears and it replaces the tongue. 62 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,500 The animal thinks its tongue is actually this louse. 63 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:00,500 And it lives in there, quite happily, 64 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:06,500 and breeds and its children live in the gills and it just colonises the head. 65 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:09,500 So, when it... When the fish sees that photo, it's gonna be really embarrassed. 66 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,500 Yes! Exactly! 67 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,500 "No wonder everyone was looking at me oddly at that party." 68 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:19,500 So the fish goes without a tongue, the louse gets free food. 69 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:23,500 On the plus side, it looks like it's on a massive space hopper. 70 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500 Does it die, the fish? 71 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,500 - No, no, it carries on with a false tongue. - They co-exist? 72 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,500 Well, parasites likes to keep their host alive, don't they? 73 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:35,500 Well, that's it. It's to their advantage. 'Cos the point is the food that passes into the mouth. 74 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:38,500 - It's probably not that bad. - No! 75 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:41,500 There's worse things happen to a fish, like being caught, as it has been there. 76 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:44,500 - Yes, that's true. By a human. - Yeah. 77 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,500 It probably finds the human more disgusting than the louse. 78 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:52,500 There's a flatworm that sort of inserts itself into crabs 79 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,500 and then grows through all the parts of the crab 80 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,500 until it pops out the top and drives the crab around. 81 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,500 "Get out of the way!" 82 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,500 "I'm after some seaweed." 83 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:08,500 You're absolutely right. Well, there are other animals you might like to know about. 84 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:11,500 What's covered in snot and eats whales? 85 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,500 I don't know. Some sort of nose parasite? 86 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:17,500 Well, it's a parasite that eats whales. And it eats... 87 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:21,500 - What, whole? - No, it feeds on the bones of whales. 88 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:22,500 It has evolved... 89 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:26,500 Is there a creature I don't know about? A massive creature that eats whales? 90 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,500 - Oh... - The snot monster? 91 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,500 Just this gigantic green thing that I've never seen? 92 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,500 - It would be big, wouldn't it? - Yeah. Eats them like peanuts. 93 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:42,500 They... I mean, everyone has a bit of a whale when it dies, don't they? 94 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:45,500 It takes months for it to get... And, gradually, it all gets consumed 95 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,500 - by the creatures of the deep. - Absolutely. 96 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,500 And the bits that fall right down to the bottom are the bones, 97 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:53,500 - and there's this extraordinary little... - Snotty little bugger. 98 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,500 This literally little... Yeah, it latches into the bones 99 00:05:56,500 --> 00:06:00,500 and it brings out this sort of feather-like plumes and it feeds off the nutrients 100 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:04,500 and it's covered in mucus, so it's called a snot flower or mucoflora. 101 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,500 I've coughed something like that one. 102 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,500 That looks a bit like KFC. 103 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,500 - It's tempura. - Yeah. 104 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,500 - It does a bit. - Tempura. That's SO middle class. 105 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,500 Not if you're from Japan. 106 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,500 "No, actually, it doesn't look like KFC, it looks like tempura." 107 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,500 Two other parasites worthy of mention. 108 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,500 Tapeworms. How would you know if you had a tapeworm? 109 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,500 You'd eat more than usual? 110 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:35,500 - No. Oddly enough... - I know a fact about tapeworms, 111 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:38,500 that 80% of the people in this country have got tapeworms, 112 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,500 which makes them more popular than dogs. 113 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:45,500 There you are. The most popular pet. 114 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:48,500 I heard a very interesting programme on the radio the other day 115 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,500 about a man who was told that one of the benefits of having a tapeworm 116 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,500 is that it gets rid of asthma and eczema. 117 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,500 And, eventually, he caught a tapeworm, 118 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:58,500 and it's got rid of his crippling asthma and eczema conditions. 119 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,500 - Completely got rid of it. - Goodness gracious. 120 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,500 And he swears by it. He won't... He doesn't want to get rid of this tapeworm. 121 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,500 You know? He said he eats more... 122 00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,500 Well, no, you don't eat more, actually. That's not true at all. In fact... 123 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,500 - I added that bit on. You're right. - Yeah. Quite. 124 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,500 - I put that in... - Yeah. 125 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:13,500 - I put that in on purpose. - It's a misapprehension. 126 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,500 People think that: "Oh, it eats all your food, therefore you're bound to be really hungry." 127 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,500 In fact, it makes you nauseous. 128 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,500 It eats a small amount of your food but the irritation to the bowel 129 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,500 and various other problems, mean you actually lose appetite. 130 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,500 Someone told me that to get rid of the worm, you have to starve yourself 131 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:29,500 and then wave a steak in front of your mouth. 132 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:33,500 - I was 16, I was chatting up this girl... - Not your mouth. 133 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:38,500 Yeah, well, she was all about then it would come up and bob out and you know... 134 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,500 - Sweet idea. - I was 16, she was saying this, 135 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,500 I was trying to chat her up, and... 136 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,500 You where trying to chat her up with tapeworm stories? 137 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,500 - It was her tapeworm story. - Oh, I see. Right. 138 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,500 So what sort of length would you expect a tapeworm to be inside you? 139 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,500 - 8 metres. - 8 metres? 140 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:56,500 - 14 miles. - More... 14 miles is perhaps a little long. 141 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,500 - A good half marathon. - But thank you for joining in. No. 142 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:04,500 - 50 feet is not... - 8 metres isn't bad, is it? 143 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:09,500 8 metres isn't bad at all, no. But they can stay in you for 20 years. 144 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,500 A long, long time. They're not pleasant. 145 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,500 We don't want them. And they are segmented, aren't they? 146 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:19,500 They're not... Flat but in little segments to make them even creepier. 147 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,500 There's one that comes out of your leg 148 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,500 and they... It takes three or four weeks to come out of your leg 149 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,500 because the only way of getting it out is to wind it round a pencil. 150 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:31,500 You have to go to the doctor every day and he'll do about an inch of it a day. 151 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:35,500 It's incredibly painful. But there's a theory that that's 152 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,500 where the medical sign of a serpent wrapped round a staff comes from. 153 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,500 Oh, the Aesculapius. That's a nice thought. 154 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:43,500 I don't know if it's true, but I like this kind of atmosphere of scout camp 155 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,500 where everyone keeps each other awake saying, "And apparently there's this thing 156 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:51,500 and this person, and they had these spiders came out and ate them." 157 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:54,500 Hopefully that's prepared you all for the horrors ahead. So... 158 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,500 You might need a stiff drink after all those disgusting animals. 159 00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:01,500 What's the key ingredient, then, in the world's nastiest cocktail? 160 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,500 Is it Malibu? 161 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:11,500 I reckon... 162 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,500 I reckon you've got someone there who's a really good, quick typist, that goes... 163 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:21,500 Why is the Child Catcher now working as a barista? Why has a... 164 00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:24,500 I suppose it is to suggest nastiness, that is indeed Sir Robert Helpmann. 165 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:29,500 I think he's there to suggest nastiness. We're after a nasty cocktail. 166 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,500 Is it genuine drink? 167 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:34,500 It's a genuine cocktail that is served in a genuine bar in a genuine place 168 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,500 in a genuine country. 169 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,500 - In just one place? - One place. And it's probably... 170 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,500 - Give us a clue. - It's part of the body. 171 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,500 We're in a country that is sort of known for its cleanliness, probably. 172 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,500 More than anything else. Known for its... 173 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,500 - Japan. - Switzerland? 174 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,500 - Canada. - Oh? 175 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:51,500 Which they say Toronto is New York run by the Swiss. So, it's that kind of a place. 176 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:54,500 - But this is in the Yukon. - Some sort of moose? 177 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:58,500 In a mining bar. The Downtown Hotel of Dawson City. 178 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,500 It's a part of a human being. 179 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,500 - An eye? - Toenails. 180 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,500 Well, toenails is good enough. It's a toe. 181 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,500 - A toe? - A toe. Yeah. 182 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:11,500 The Sour Toe Cocktail is the "spéciale de la maison"... 183 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,500 - ...in the Downtown Hotel - Where do they get the toe? 184 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,500 Well, there's a whole story. There... 185 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:24,500 It started in the 1960's when a figure called Captain Dick Stevenson - 186 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:28,500 he'd been all kinds of things, from a male stripper to a miner to a lumberjack, 187 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,500 - you know the way that manly men are... - They usually are. 188 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:31,500 Yeah, exactly. 189 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:35,500 And he found himself in an old cabin and there was a pickled toe 190 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:40,500 that had belonged to a rum runner back in the prohibition days. 191 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:46,500 And for some reason he thought it would be amusing to offer as a challenge to put it in alcohol 192 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:50,500 and the idea was you drank it and it became a very popular drink. 193 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,500 You kept the toe, though. It moved from glass to glass. 194 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,500 But, the important thing was, that there's a little rhyme, which is the key. 195 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:58,500 Is that, "You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow, 196 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,500 but the lips have got to touch the toe." 197 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,500 So the toe has to touch... 198 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,500 But unfortunately, there was a series of accidents. 199 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:09,500 In 1980, Garry Younger, a local miner, accidentally swallowed the toe... 200 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:14,500 So they found another one. This very nice lady called Mrs Lawrence of Alberta, 201 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:19,500 whose middle toe was amputated due to an inoperable corn, donated it. 202 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:25,500 So you're now drinking a toe that not only was amputated but had a hideous corn on it. 203 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:30,500 And people... That lasted well. It didn't have to be alcohol. 204 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,500 I've drunk... I've drunk worse than that. 205 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:36,500 I remember being at a party once, no glasses, drinking Tia Maria out the dog bowl. 206 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:41,500 - Wow! - They had no glasses. Wahey. 207 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,500 That, that's just... That's chicken, it's fine. 208 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,500 So, yeah. They've gone through a lot of toes. Now, they... In fact, they have a collection. 209 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,500 People know about this bar, so they donate their toes if they're going to be amputated 210 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:58,500 so they have some packed in rock salt in the back. You can choose your toe to have with... 211 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,500 He looks like he finds it hilarious. 212 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:03,500 I can imagine him going, "Hee-hee! You're gonna have to drink the toe!" 213 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,500 "This guy is gonna drink the toe." 214 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:11,500 - It's only... - "I love that." 215 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:16,500 It's only 5$ a shot. They reckon 35,000 people have... Have done it. 216 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,500 - Yeah. - It's quite popular. 217 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,500 I mean, you're likely to pass on germs, though, aren't you? 218 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:23,500 All those people touching the same toe. Seems very unsafe to me. 219 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,500 Is the toe supposed to retain any flavour? 220 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:31,500 Has it been pickled in a way that makes the drink more interesting or is it just for the...? 221 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,500 I think it's just so you can say you've done it these days, isn't it? It's pretty... 222 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:38,500 It's leather now, I would imagine. Isn't it? Leather and a hint of nail varnish. 223 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,500 Anyway, there we are. That's the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City in the Yukon 224 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:46,500 and it offers its patrons the Sour Toe cocktail, 225 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,500 the liquor of your choice garnished with a severed human toe. 226 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:53,500 Could be worse, though. Give me one good reason to but a frogs' bottom in your mouth. 227 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,500 - Do you remember posing for that? - I remember that. What a night that was! 228 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,500 You should see what I've got in my hands! 229 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:11,500 Is it breathing under water? 'Cos if you're swimming along, you grab the frog, and go... 230 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,500 Sucks all the air out of it, keep going... 231 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:18,500 You've just got to swap... Swap round. Swap round your elements. 232 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,500 Your Aristotelian elements. You said you're in water, sucking out of a frog, 233 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,500 imagine you're in air... 234 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,500 - Sucking water. - Water. You're in the desert. 235 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,500 - You're in the Australian desert. - Right. 236 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:30,500 And there's a number of species of frog, who, in order to kind of, prepare themselves 237 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:35,500 for the dry season ahead, store a huge amount of liquid in the form of... 238 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,500 Actually, urine, but very weak urine. And as you can see, they swell up quite a lot. 239 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:43,500 And, as Aboriginals have discovered, if you find one of these and you're very, very dry, 240 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,500 you literally, put it like that, and suck its bottom, 241 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,500 - and, and you get a lovely drink. - So, it's basically... 242 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,500 It's like a... Essentially, it's a Capri Sun. 243 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,500 Yes! That's what it is! 244 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,500 - That's what it is! - Squashier than a fruit. 245 00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:01,500 I just get a straw, and you can make a hole wherever you want! 246 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:08,500 It's cyclorana platycephalus, the little round frog with the flat head, essentially. 247 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,500 Also known as the water holding frog. 248 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:14,500 Presumably though, the frog I'd like to see is the one after all of the water 249 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,500 you carefully stored inside, and he's there all loosy going... 250 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,500 And then he has to go find more water again. 251 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,500 - It is a bit mean, isn't it? - Yeah! 252 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:26,500 It buries itself under the ground in that condition in the summer, and kind of sleeps, 253 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,500 which is the opposite of hibernating. And there are points at stake, 254 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:31,500 for those of you who can tell me what the summer version of hibernating is. 255 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,500 Hibernating is from "hiber"... 256 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:35,500 Lowbernating. 257 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,500 Oh, that's a good... It's logical again, "lowbernating". 258 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,500 - Hibernating and "lowbernating". - Entination...? 259 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,500 You're SO close, yes. 260 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,500 - It's... - The audience knows, I expect? 261 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,500 - They squash you in a minute. - Aestivation, they're saying there. 262 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,500 Yeah, very good, yeah. Yeah, aestivation. 263 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:52,500 And if that's made you feel ill, answer me this. 264 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,500 What's the best way to get rid of a leech? 265 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,500 Stand near someone fatter. 266 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,500 You just go... "Go on! Off you go!". 267 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,500 "Look at that! Check that out!" 268 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,500 'Cos you think they like going through fat. 269 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,500 Burrowing through fat to get to the blood. 270 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:12,500 Well, I figured that there'd be something more tastier than my wizens. 271 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,500 - And your etiolated blood. - Yeah. 272 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:17,500 - Well, you don't want to rip them off, do you? - Why not? 273 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:21,500 Doesn't that do more damage? And leave bits, or something in you, or something? 274 00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,500 It's gonna turn out to be ripping them off? 275 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,500 All right, burn it off? 276 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,500 You... You wanna burn it of, yeah? 277 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:35,500 Douse it in a... In a... some sort of vodka, whisky spirit thing. 278 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,500 You're safe with that one. You could try that... 279 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,500 Actually, the answer is simply just leave it. 280 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:41,500 - Ignore it? - Yeah. 281 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,500 - It fills up and goes? - Yeah, yeah. 282 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:47,500 If you pull it off, you won't leave a bit of it behind but nor will it help. 283 00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,500 It's kind of difficult to ignore when it's right there on your nose. 284 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,500 Having to... Sorry, I... 285 00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:54,500 They're usually on the legs. 286 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:57,500 Because there are many kinds of misapprehensions about leeches. 287 00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:01,500 One is that they've evolved to drop down onto your neck. 288 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,500 They're nearly always on your legs because they're in the water. 289 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:07,500 If you pull them off, they don't leave bits of themselves behind 290 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,500 but their anticoagulant means that you will bleed for quite a long time. 291 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:15,500 Whereas if you let them finish it off, they actually seal off the wound nicely 292 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,500 and you'll only lost about a teaspoonful of blood. 293 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:23,500 Aren't they experimenting with the anticoagulant to find ways of stopping hemophilia, or something? 294 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:28,500 That's right. Wales was the capital of British leech farming, you'll be please to know. 295 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,500 There's still one left. 296 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:34,500 - So they're called "lleeches". - "Lleeches". Yeah, two L's, that's right. 297 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,500 - Does it hurt? - Not really, no. 298 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,500 I've had a leech. I mean, you don't actually notice, someone usually points it. 299 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,500 It hurts if you pull it off, so that's the point, just leave it. 300 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:45,500 - How did you get yours off? - I was told just to leave it. Exactly. 301 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,500 - And how... - They said: "You've got a leech on". 302 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,500 - And I looked at it. - And it's till there now. 303 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:51,500 - No, it's not still there. - Five years later. Huge great leech. 304 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:56,500 - Given it a name, read it stories. - Nurturing it. 305 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,500 - How long before it fills? - Oh, not very long. 306 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,500 I mean, you know, it sort of... It'll be there for ten minutes or so. 307 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,500 And it doesn't leave you a sting, like a mosquito? 308 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,500 No, no. 309 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,500 But if you burn one, it'll come of, won't it? 310 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:12,500 It will but it's bad for it. It will make it vomit, which is a bad thing 311 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,500 because other blood it's got in it may go into you. From someone else. 312 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,500 It's just completely unnecessary. Just leave it be. 313 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:21,500 It's nothing like as annoying as a tsetse fly, for example. 314 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,500 - Or a human. - Or as painful. 315 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,500 - Or a human that bit you, for example. - Yeah. 316 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:28,500 When they used to farm them, people used to stand around in, sort of pools of water... 317 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,500 - Exactly. - And get them all over their legs, 318 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,500 and then, presumably, they used to take them off. So, they must... 319 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:36,500 Well, they'd wait for them. Yeah, that's right. And sort of peel them off as they finished, 320 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:37,500 pop them into buckets and sell them. 321 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,500 - Who did they sell them to? - The National Health Service. 322 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:41,500 - Well, to doctors. - All right. 323 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,500 Another name for a physician was a leech. That's what you called the doctor. 324 00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:49,500 Because one of the most popular "cures", so called, for anything was a blood letting 325 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,500 and leeches were actually the least harmful. 326 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:57,500 Those are the worst kind, what a doctor would call a phlebotomy, the cutting of a vein, 327 00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:03,500 and there, huge bowls of blood, I mean, really constant... Terribly bad for people. 328 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:06,500 But that was considered to be the basic cure for almost any fever, 329 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:09,500 whereas a leech... Mind you, they'd use about 50 of them, 330 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:13,500 they'd cover you in leeches. They're used today in surgery. 331 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,500 The NHS buys thousands of leeches a year. There's some. 332 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:20,500 - What surgery do they use it in? - Well, in microsurgery. 333 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:24,500 It kind of repairs the blood vessels quite well, seals them up properly. 334 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,500 It's really very helpful, it seems. 335 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:31,500 I hope the leech guy in the surgery dresses differently to the rest of the operation staff. 336 00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,500 I wonder if when the leech guy arrives it's like the Child Catcher. 337 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,500 In a fancy hat with leeches hanging off of it. 338 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:43,500 And then he arrives in. "Hello! I'm the leech man." 339 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:47,500 So leeches won't do you much harm if you just let them finish their meal. 340 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:52,500 Now, what was a really horrible way of transporting smallpox vaccine? 341 00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,500 Was it via Marty Feldman? 342 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:58,500 God bless you, I remember that scene so well, don't you? 343 00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:01,500 Do you mean now? When transporting smallpox...? 344 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:04,500 - No, now you would transport smallpox... - Within an animal. You infect an animal. 345 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,500 And then you transport the animal, and then you take... 346 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:09,500 You've got the right principle, but it's actually not an animal. 347 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,500 People? 348 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,500 - Humans. - A rock. You infect a rock. 349 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,500 - A human. - A volunteer prisoner. 350 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:16,500 A human child. An orphan. 351 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,500 - An orphan? - Yeah. 352 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,500 - Who's got no one to tell. - Yeah. 353 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:24,500 You go back to the early 19th century. Vaccination has been discovered. 354 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,500 - We know about vaccination. - Cowpox. 355 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:30,500 Cowpox, exactly. Edward Jenner discovered that if you injected people with cowpox, 356 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:33,500 they would be immune to smallpox. 357 00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,500 Smallpox which killed about 60 million people in the 18th century. 358 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,500 It was a really terrible decease. 359 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:43,500 Now, in about 1803, the King of Spain, whose son had died of smallpox, 360 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:47,500 thought we want to vaccinate everybody in South America. 361 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,500 But how do you get... The, um... 362 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:54,500 The vaccine to... In a ship for months? 363 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:55,500 You haven't got ice packs... 364 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:59,500 You know, since it's 1803. So you round up a few orphans. 365 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:03,500 And you inject one orphan with the vaccine, and he develops the immunity, 366 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,500 and his blood is full of the antibodies, and it's all great. 367 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,500 So you take his blood and you put it in the next one, and then the next one, 368 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,500 until you've got a whole colony of orphans who are... Not harmed, 'cause they are immune 369 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:17,500 to smallpox, but it means you could use them as a kind of serum, if you like. 370 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,500 It's kind of creepy. 371 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,500 They're not harmed, but they're... Quite a long way away from home. 372 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:24,500 Yeah, that's one type of... They say that to themselves in the middle of the jungle. 373 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,500 The British, I'm afraid, we did it too. We did it with low cast Indian boys. 374 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:31,500 It's a pretty squalid thing to do, but it did work. 375 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:34,500 It saved hundreds of thousands of lives, but as you say, 376 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,500 at the expense of some rather bewildered Spanish boys. 377 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,500 Yeah, but they presumably weren't brought there and then samarilly killed, 378 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,500 - the minute they arrive. - Not, they where not killed, 379 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,500 they where just left there, presumably. I mean, they where orphans anyway, 380 00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:49,500 so you may say... Um, maybe they wouldn't have had that good a future in Spain in 1803. 381 00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:52,500 So, maybe their lives went well for them in South America? Who knows? 382 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,500 Too late now, anyway. Nothing to to about it. 383 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,500 No, there is... You're right. Yeah. 384 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,500 We could think about them. We could give this little pause 385 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,500 - to honour them. - Errhhh, don't worry about it! Stop. 386 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,500 Stop. Forget about it! Let's move on! 387 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,500 So, what about smallpox today? Is it a worry? 388 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:10,500 Yes. 389 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:11,500 How so? 390 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,500 'Cos it's really, um... The orphans... Uhhhmm... 391 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:18,500 - That you care so much about. - The orphans create dynasties... 392 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,500 - And they're coming back to attack us. - No. 393 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:27,500 It came THAT close to being the very first disease that human kind completely got rid of. 394 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:32,500 In the sense that there was not one file or test tube left of it in the world. 395 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,500 And then... Then they thought again, in about 2002 and said, 396 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:38,500 well, maybe we don't really have the right, actually to extinguish it, 397 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:42,500 from the face of evolution. So, there is somewhere a tiny amount of it left. 398 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:47,500 Is it not a fear? Is it... I would've thought they might... Keep it to... 399 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:51,500 Develop a vaccine, in the event that... I don't know, North Korea had... 400 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:54,500 - ...kept hold of some smallpox? - Well, that's also possibly. 401 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:57,500 You're absolutely right. It may just be that they can't risk the possibility, 402 00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,500 that somebody else has it, and that's human nature. 403 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:02,500 This... I'm sorry, this whole... It feels like we're in the opening scene 404 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:04,500 - of an Apocalypse movie, or something. - Yeah! 405 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,500 - Doesn't life often feel like that? - ...shouting about. 406 00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:10,500 But don't worry, it's in THIS test tube. Nothing could... 407 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,500 And it... Of course, it was SO virulent in the 18th century, 408 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,500 and people knew that it was contagious. That, actually, you where much more likely 409 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:21,500 to get a job if you where pock marked. 410 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,500 - 'Cause you've actually had the decease? - Because it showed you'd had it. 411 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:28,500 So, servants and things, who where unblemished where unlikely to get a job, 412 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:31,500 because it's possible they would catch it and pass it on in the family. 413 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:33,500 Now to some other handy hints for travellers. 414 00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:38,500 Fill in the blanks from these 19th century travel guides, all right? 415 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:43,500 Firstly, "Never rub your eyes except with your...." 416 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,500 - Frog. - Frog. 417 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,500 - Other eye? - Other eye? 418 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:53,500 It's "A handbook for travellers in Spain" by Richard Ford in 1847. 419 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:54,500 - Paella. - Elbows. 420 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,500 Elbows is the right answer! 421 00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:57,500 That's brilliant! 422 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,500 I suppose, 'cause you're not supposed to use your hands in case there's something on them. 423 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:10,500 That's it! But it's quite hard to get... You have to be quite limber. 424 00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:11,500 Well, reasonably. 425 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,500 Yeah, yeah. Elbows. That was a piece of traveller advice. OK, the next one: 426 00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:18,500 "Keep a spare jewel for emergencies in your..." 427 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:21,500 - Dog. - Dog? 428 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:22,500 Would work. 429 00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,500 This is from a book called: 430 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:28,500 "The Art of Travel; Or, shifts and contrivances available in wild countries", 431 00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:30,500 by Sir Francis Galton. 432 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:33,500 So, it should be like, "So, you have some spare cash"? 433 00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:36,500 Uh, yeah. It's... Or a jewel, in fact. Literally, to keep a spare jewel. 434 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:39,500 Imagine you've been robbed. A highwayman, or what... It's in the 19th century, 435 00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,500 - some sort of foot pad... - In your shoe? 436 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:44,500 Your shoe? They're probably looking in a shoe, or a hat. 437 00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:45,500 Like a hamster, in your cheek? 438 00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:47,500 - In your cheek? No. - In your fundament? 439 00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:48,500 - In your ear? - In your stomach? 440 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:49,500 - In your nose? - No, not in your stomach. 441 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:51,500 The weird thing is, that it isn't in an orifice. 442 00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:53,500 - Double chin? - Armpit? 443 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:54,500 No! 444 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,500 - Under your eyelid? - No! Ew! 445 00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:58,500 - In your hair! - No! 446 00:23:58,500 --> 00:23:59,500 Between your toes. 447 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:02,500 - No! In your arm. Literally. IN. - In your arm? 448 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:09,500 He recommends you make a cut, prior to travelling, you push a jewel in, 449 00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:13,500 and you sew it up, and let it heal. And then, when you are... 450 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:14,500 And a little bit of hash? 451 00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:15,500 Maybe. Maybe. 452 00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:17,500 Yeah. 453 00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:23,500 "Beware the dirty habits of native cooks. who will often be seen buttering toast with..." 454 00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:24,500 Earwax. 455 00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:27,500 - I bet it'll be something that isn't butter. - Yeah. 456 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:30,500 The wings of birds, the wings of fowls, apparently. 457 00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:33,500 - This is something you are warned against. - Oh, you use them to do the buttering? 458 00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:35,500 Yeah. I think it's quite reasonable. 459 00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:39,500 D'you mean, actually, what, for the sub... Secreting a substance, or...? 460 00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:41,500 - Just the butter...? - The greasing wing, I guess that 461 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:42,500 - they've would have roast a fowl, and... - Oh, I see. 462 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:47,500 Or, that they used a live chicken. And use it to butter bread with. 463 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,500 A live chicken!? 464 00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:53,500 In the kitchen, they have a chicken whose only job... 465 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:55,500 I don't think... 466 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:57,500 - Buttering the toast. - I don't think you would... 467 00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:02,500 He also did the washing up, that's how he got the greasy... 468 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,500 The greasy arm from the washing up. When it's finished the washing up, 469 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:06,500 it does the toast... 470 00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:10,500 When you only have one arm, wouldn't you want a particular good arm for it? 471 00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:12,500 Well, that's what they do. When it's a job, it's a job. 472 00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:14,500 - Yeah. - Well, it's a gig, you know? 473 00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:16,500 And then, if you want an egg out of it... 474 00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,500 Anyway, that's advice against eating butter when in the tropics from a book called, 475 00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:24,500 - "Hardships in travel made easy". - What a brilliant book that must be. 476 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,500 Another thing they warn you against is, "The Germans are the worst offenders, 477 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:33,500 having a grossness in their way of eating and a gloating zeal in..." 478 00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:35,500 A gloating zeal enclosure? 479 00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:38,500 "Zis iz my gloating zeal..." 480 00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:41,500 "I have zee biggest rock." 481 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,500 It could be that, um... 482 00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:51,500 Oddly, it isn't. No. It's actually dirty post cards. 483 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,500 You... They're warned against travelling with Germans, 484 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:59,500 because they have "a gloating zeal in collecting salacious post cards", is the exact... 485 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:03,500 Love this... The warnings that where given pre-two world wars. 486 00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:04,500 Yes! Yeah. 487 00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:07,500 "Previously known for collecting salacious post cards." 488 00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:10,500 - Turns out that... - "Later for exterminating millions!" 489 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:13,500 Good. I think we should move on. 490 00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:17,500 How can you tell if you've got Bonnie and Clyde syndrome? 491 00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:21,500 Is those people who've got, like, one half, they're dressed as a man, 492 00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,500 and the other half, they're dressed as a woman? 493 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,500 And they, sort of do... Go and do variety shows, 494 00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:30,500 probably somewhere like Albania these days, probably the only place that have them. 495 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,500 - It's not... - Has that woman on the left got it? 496 00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:35,500 No, I don't think so. 497 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:40,500 Peculiarly enough, Bonnie might have had it but Clyde certainly didn't. 498 00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:43,500 It's a paraphilia. Do you know what a paraphilia is? 499 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:46,500 It's an erotic attachment to something wrong. Or... 500 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:50,500 Yes, a fetish or a taboo or something like that. 501 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,500 - It can be for a physical... - Bank robbery. 502 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:55,500 Not necessarily bank robbery. 503 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:58,500 It's one of the few paraphilias that more women have than men, 504 00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,500 this particular one. 505 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,500 It's called hybristophilia. 506 00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:06,500 Women who fall for very dangerous, violent criminals. 507 00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:07,500 Right. 508 00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:11,500 In Britain alone, there are estimated to be at least 100 women 509 00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:15,500 who are engaged to Americans on death row. 510 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:18,500 - People who've corresponded with them. - British women who've not even been there. 511 00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:22,500 Who are engaged to, yeah. Not just corresponding but engaged to. 512 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,500 - Not to mention the wives of Tory MPs. - Yeah, well, quite. 513 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:32,500 It's an erotic, sort of fetishistic, strange love that people have 514 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:36,500 for violent criminals, real wrong 'uns, not just like, "Oh, he's a naughty boy," 515 00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,500 but, I mean, murderers of the worst possible kind. 516 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,500 She appears to be going, "Lose weight!" 517 00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:45,500 That's the real Bonnie and Clyde. 518 00:27:45,500 --> 00:27:48,500 - Yeah, the casting was quite favourable to them. - It was, wasn't it? 519 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,500 I've never really seen a picture of them. 520 00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:51,500 - Yeah. - They just used to wear a hat then... 521 00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:54,500 They were no Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty in real life, that has to be said. 522 00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:57,500 No. The real Clyde Barrow was an absolute institutional criminal. 523 00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:01,500 I mean, a really violent, unpleasant man who murdered a lot and killed many people 524 00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,500 but Bonnie might have had this. 525 00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:06,500 A lot of the gang members said she never raised a gun or killed anybody 526 00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:11,500 and that she was fond of poetry, she was privately educated, she was intelligent 527 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:15,500 and maybe she actually had hybristophilia for Clyde. 528 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:19,500 So why would men not find them as appealing? 529 00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:20,500 I dunno. Maybe it's something to do with... 530 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:23,500 At the risk of being, sort of, cliche about these things, 531 00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:26,500 that some of these women believe that they can improve people, 532 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:29,500 in the way that men don't seem to have that desire to believe that... 533 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:33,500 I imagine, that seriously violent criminals are quite good at sex. 534 00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:35,500 - Are they? - I don't know, I'm just guessing, here. 535 00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:39,500 You've got to say they are, otherwise they'll blow your brains out. 536 00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:45,500 I imagine they're quite horny. Maybe they're just... 537 00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:48,500 On a moped. 538 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:52,500 Yeah. There are various theories given. 539 00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:57,500 The glamour of notoriety, vicariously gratified propensity for violence themselves. 540 00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:01,500 Religious fervour. Sometimes evangelical Christians who that think they can convert... 541 00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:06,500 There's a very sad case of two Christian sisters from Australia called Avril and Rose 542 00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,500 who left marriages they were already in, 543 00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:12,500 so-called boring marriages, for two criminals in Australia. 544 00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:17,500 Avril was battered to death with a hammer by her husband as soon as he was let out of prison, 545 00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:19,500 having married him when he was in jail, 546 00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:21,500 and the other one, Rose. Her husband was put back in prison 547 00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:25,500 after he tried to cut her ear off and pull her teeth out with pliers. 548 00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:27,500 So these were not nice people they had fallen for. 549 00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:29,500 - Bad choices. - Bad choices. 550 00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:30,500 - Yeah, they are bad choices. - Yeah. 551 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:33,500 There's another paraphilia called harpaxophilia. 552 00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:35,500 That's someone who gets off on being robbed. 553 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:37,500 It apparently exists. 554 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,500 Do you see that documentary about that guy who fell in love with a car? 555 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,500 - There's a guy who... - Oh, yes! 556 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:44,500 Yeah, he had decided that he would have sexual relations with cars. 557 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:48,500 And they brought two of them together. Two of these guys. In a weird kind of... 558 00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:50,500 "Well, we'll bring them together, so they'll have something to talk about..." 559 00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:54,500 The two of them... But one of them shagged the other guy's car! 560 00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:58,500 And he got REALLY angry with this! 561 00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:02,500 Well, there you are. That's the Bonnie and Clyde syndrome. Hybristophilia. 562 00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:06,500 It's an attraction to people who have committed terrible crimes or atrocities. 563 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:10,500 Name a pizza topping that eats insects. 564 00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:15,500 Dara! 565 00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:19,500 What, do I get to be Mario in this week's episode? 566 00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:23,500 - Anchovies. Is it? - Oh, dear me, no. Not anchovies. 567 00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:24,500 - Olives. - Sorry? 568 00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:25,500 - Olives. - Not olives. 569 00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:28,500 - Spiders! - No. Is that a pizza topping? 570 00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:29,500 - Well, you... Yeah. - Pineapple. 571 00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:32,500 - Yeah, you can put anything on a pizza. - Pineapple? No. 572 00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:37,500 It's no more ridiculous than pineapple on a pizza, spiders. 573 00:30:37,500 --> 00:30:38,500 Cheese! 574 00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,500 If someone said to me, "Do you want spiders on that?" 575 00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:41,500 I'd go, "Yeah, all right." 576 00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:44,500 If you're gonna have a chicken tikka pizza, 577 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:47,500 - I think spiders is a very small leap further. - Do you? 578 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:49,500 - Peppers? - Not peppers. 579 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:51,500 I've forgotten what the question is now. What did they just...? 580 00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:52,500 - Tomatoes. - What pizza topp... 581 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,500 Tomatoes is the right answer! 582 00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:57,500 - 50 points! - Yeah... Maybe. 583 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,500 Some points. 584 00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:02,500 - Some points are all right. - Yeah, they eat insects. 585 00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:04,500 - Do they? - Tomatoes eat insects. 586 00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:06,500 It's not their only diet, as we know. 587 00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:09,500 Tomatoes grow like a lot of fruits and vegetables. 588 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:13,500 They draw nutrients out of the soil and can be grown hydroponically 589 00:31:13,500 --> 00:31:16,500 but also they have another way of ingesting nutrients 590 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:21,500 and that is trapping insects in the furry, the hairy stems 591 00:31:22,500 --> 00:31:26,500 and they die and they absorb their nutrients. 592 00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:28,500 So they are insectivorous. 593 00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:30,500 - Not while they're on a pizza, though. - Not while they're on a pizza. 594 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:32,500 That would be bad news for the spider, wouldn't it? 595 00:31:32,500 --> 00:31:35,500 What about if you were wanting your spider pizza and they get eaten by the tomato? 596 00:31:36,500 --> 00:31:37,500 Fortunately... 597 00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:41,500 That's how you get the flavour. That's how you get that lovely spidery, tomato flavour. 598 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:46,500 They trap them and so they fall down into the ground and are absorbed through the soil. 599 00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:51,500 But it's way of collecting richer soil by filling it with dead insects, you see? 600 00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:55,500 OK, very good. Tomatoes trap insects in a deadly embrace on their hairy stems 601 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:58,500 and use their decaying bodies as fertiliser. 602 00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:02,500 But, what is it that THIS flower, behind me, eats, 603 00:32:02,500 --> 00:32:06,500 that Louis XIV ordered to be removed from the corridors of Versailles, once a week? 604 00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:08,500 - Peasants. - Not peasants. 605 00:32:09,500 --> 00:32:10,500 You want to get a sense... 606 00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:13,500 A sense of the scale of the flower. 607 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:18,500 That central bowl shape, is about the size of the palm of a human hand. 608 00:32:18,500 --> 00:32:19,500 A mouse? 609 00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:24,500 Well, a mouse-like animal. That plant is a really extraordinary plant. 610 00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:28,500 It's a lavatory plant. It's a... It's a toilet seat. 611 00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:31,500 It looks like a toilet seat. I mean, a toilet with a seat, a bowl... 612 00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:35,500 And that's what it is. It is an amazing achievement of evolution. 613 00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:40,500 It attracts a little shrew, by giving out a sweet, buttery smell, 614 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:44,500 and the shrew sits on it, like that. And it has to face that way, 615 00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:48,500 because that's where the smell is, and it can lick its nectar from there. 616 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:52,500 And this shrew poos when it eats. It's its habit. So the poo... 617 00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:54,500 - I'm the same! - ...goes into the plant, 618 00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:58,500 and gives the plant about 70 to 100% of it's nitrogen. 619 00:32:58,500 --> 00:32:59,500 So, it's a fabulous system. 620 00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:02,500 That shrew's going, "Do you have to take photo now?" 621 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:05,500 "While I'm on the job?" 622 00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:07,500 Well, isn't that a pleasing way for a plant to develop? 623 00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:10,500 So, hang on. The thing that Louis the whatever had removed, was poo? 624 00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,500 - Yes, poo. Once a week, for a... - That's how he got the name "Looie". 625 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:17,500 Once... Once a week from Versailles, in the corridor. 'Cause he was an hygienic fellow. 626 00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:18,500 - One a week? - Yeah. 627 00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:20,500 - Into these plants? - No. 628 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,500 No, you where... No, never-mind. 629 00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:26,500 - So, that's just a coincidence... - Yes, it's a link. 630 00:33:26,500 --> 00:33:29,500 What you've done, is that you've joined two things together. 631 00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:32,500 A way of talking about a plant that's a lavatory and a way of saying that... 632 00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:35,500 Versailles, which was one of the most elegant palaces in the world, 633 00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:39,500 in it's day, was full of people who never bathed, and whose idea of hygiene, 634 00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:42,500 was clearing poo from corridors once a week. 635 00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:44,500 - So it was human poo? - Yes, human poo. 636 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,500 - They just have a crap in the corner? - Basically. 637 00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,500 Right. Just... Just chatting away to a lady... 638 00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:54,500 "Oh! Oh! Madamoiselle, de la Boivoir de vey? Avenger... Eh, excuse me a minute." 639 00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:02,500 No, that was German. Um... 640 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:07,500 "Qu'est-ce que vous allez... Le Versailles, maintenant tu cutard?" 641 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:11,500 They're not fanning themselves. 642 00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:14,500 - Please... - Wait, when we broadcast this bit, 643 00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:17,500 can we get proper subtitles for what Sean just said? 644 00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,500 - It would be hard. - Yeah, I speak French! 645 00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:23,500 Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. 646 00:34:23,500 --> 00:34:26,500 Yeah. You so do. Um... Well... Yeah, there's a... 647 00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:29,500 I'm not quite sure, necessarily, in front of ladies like that. 648 00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:32,500 But the point is it's a very robust, non-bathey sort-of place, 649 00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:34,500 - in which the poo piled up in corners. - They've got gardens, 650 00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:37,500 - it's famous for the gardens, Versailles. - Yes? 651 00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:40,500 - There's bloody gardens everywhere! - You can't poo in the garden, 652 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,500 - someones spent ages making that garden. - Yeah! 653 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:50,500 The point is that toilet bowl shaped nepenthes lowii, lives primarily on shrew feces. 654 00:34:50,500 --> 00:34:53,500 The French in Louis XIV's time weren't keen on washing, 655 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:56,500 but drew the line at leaving piles of excrement around the house 656 00:34:56,500 --> 00:34:57,500 for more than a week, or so. 657 00:34:57,500 --> 00:35:04,500 One horrible thing all of our panel, I suspect, has experienced, is heckling. 658 00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:07,500 - So where did the first hecklers come from? - Jugglers. 659 00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:09,500 What did they do for a living? 660 00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:12,500 - Houses of Parliament? - No. It wasn't the House of Parliament. 661 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,500 A heckle is actually a word meaning a comb 662 00:35:14,500 --> 00:35:21,500 for dividing two types of fabric of flax for making yarn 663 00:35:21,500 --> 00:35:24,500 and people who did that were called hecklers. And there was a particular place. 664 00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:27,500 Where was the capital of the jute industry in the 19th century? 665 00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:30,500 - Scotland. Dundee. - In Dundee. Absolutely right. 666 00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:35,500 And the Dundonian heckler was known to be a troublemaker, a rabble-rouser. 667 00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:39,500 Violent harangue and ferocious debates, they were known for. 668 00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:43,500 And so to publicly question, to shout, to harangue, was like being a heckler. 669 00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:47,500 It was a back formation. You were a heckler and so what you did was to heckle. 670 00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:48,500 And that's where the word comes from. 671 00:35:48,500 --> 00:35:51,500 - I thought you'd like to know that. - No, it's interesting, yeah. 672 00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:55,500 - Have you been heckled much? - No. I didn't used to get heckled. 673 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:58,500 If people didn't like me, they'd just start talking amongst themselves. 674 00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:02,500 I remember these two girls at the front row at the Comedy Store. 675 00:36:02,500 --> 00:36:04,500 One turned to the other and went, "He's lost it." 676 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,500 That's very disturbing. 677 00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:11,500 Really gets under your skin, then. 678 00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:14,500 I have to go to them to get them to talk. 679 00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:16,500 I was in Liverpool and I was talking about dreams 680 00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:20,500 and about in case you have a dream about a famous person 681 00:36:20,500 --> 00:36:23,500 and some bloke in the crowd shouted out that he'd had a dream about Kate Winslet. 682 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:26,500 And I said, "Oh, was it a sexy dream?" 683 00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:29,500 and he goes, "No, she turned me down." 684 00:36:32,500 --> 00:36:35,500 In his own head. 685 00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:38,500 I had a dream about Kate Winslet. 686 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:40,500 I said to him, "Were you disappointed?" 687 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:43,500 And he goes, "Naw, I didn't hit her with my best stuff". 688 00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:47,500 - That's very strange. - Yeah. 689 00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:53,500 I had a dream about Kate Winslet and in my dream it didn't quite work out either. 690 00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:56,500 Wow, she's like the Freddy Krueger of teases. 691 00:36:58,500 --> 00:36:59,500 Well, thank you very much. 692 00:36:59,500 --> 00:37:02,500 Yes, hecklers were originally people who split the fibres of flax and hemp 693 00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,500 to spin into yarn. 694 00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:09,500 And so with a cough and a retch, we bring up the bolus that is General Ignorance. 695 00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:13,500 So fingers on buzzers. Where does a snake's tail begin? 696 00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:19,500 After its bottom. 697 00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:21,500 Is the... 698 00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:26,500 Is the right answer. After its bottom. Absolutely right. 699 00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:29,500 That simple. 700 00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:33,500 Well, as you know... As you know, Stephen, 701 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:36,500 I studied snakes for many, many, many years. 702 00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:39,500 I'm one of the world's leading snakeatologists. 703 00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:42,500 - Herpetologist? - Snakeatol... 704 00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:44,500 - Herpetologist, yes. - Ophidian expert. 705 00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:46,500 - We don't call ourselves that. - Don't you? Oh. 706 00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:48,500 - Not since the re-branding. - Yeah. 707 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:52,500 It's called a cloaca and after that is where the snake... 708 00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:53,500 'Cause the rest of it is all these... 709 00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:55,500 - Ribs... - The body. We call it the body. 710 00:37:55,500 --> 00:37:56,500 Ribs... 711 00:37:57,500 --> 00:38:01,500 Ribs and spine. It's got vertebrae. It's got a lot of vertebrae. 712 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:04,500 - And, yeah... - That other bit's the head, 713 00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:06,500 up the other end there. 714 00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:09,500 You might want to write that down, Stephen. The head. 715 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:10,500 You weren't kidding, were you? 716 00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:12,500 You really are an expert. And thank you. And you get your points. 717 00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:15,500 - Snakes... - No legs on a snake, Stephen. 718 00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:19,500 - You won't find any legs on a snake. - Not a one, not a one. 719 00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:23,500 Snakes might look like they're all back end, but they actually have surprisingly short tails. 720 00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:28,500 What are the dimensions of a piece of two by four? 721 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:30,500 Yes? 722 00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:34,500 - Oh, thanks. - Four by two. 723 00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:36,500 Oh! What a pity! 724 00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:40,500 - No! - Two by four? 725 00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,500 Two by... No! 726 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:46,500 And all those points you've made on your expertise on snakes. 727 00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:50,500 - That's just... You've leached them. - I'll win them back. 728 00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:55,500 - No, it is... What is two by four? - It's a plank of wood. 729 00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:59,500 Yeah. But it's not two by four. It's about 1.5 by 3.5 inches. 730 00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:03,500 It's based on what's called a dimension block which was originally itself two by four 731 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:07,500 but it's then shaved and planed so it's a lot smaller. 732 00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:10,500 But even now the original dimension block is smaller or larger. 733 00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:11,500 It doesn't actually matter. 734 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:15,500 It's just a block of wood still called a two by four even though it no longer is. 735 00:39:15,500 --> 00:39:19,500 Now, we've saved the most disgusting, the most horrible thing of all, for last. 736 00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:21,500 What am I describing? 737 00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:26,500 Allegedly, it can cause birds to fall dead from the sky 738 00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:30,500 and it's banned by airlines but it's quite good on toast. 739 00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:36,500 Will your...? Oh, no! No wonder you've not been getting points. 740 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:41,500 - Oh, that's typical. - Yes. That's unfair. Chris, you can answer. 741 00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:43,500 Er... What was the question? 742 00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:47,500 Is it gentleman's relish? 743 00:39:47,500 --> 00:39:50,500 No. I have some here. I have a can of it. 744 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:54,500 But... And this is a genuine can of it. 745 00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:56,500 - Caviar. - No. 746 00:39:56,500 --> 00:39:59,500 - It's something rotten, isn't it? - Yeah. 747 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:02,500 - Scandinavian rotten food. - It's Scandinavian rotten fish. 748 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,500 - That's exactly... - On midsummer's night, don't they? 749 00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:06,500 - I've always wanted to try that. - Surströmming. 750 00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:08,500 I've actually been told, 751 00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:11,500 and you may say, "Oh, go on, Stephen," that I cannot open this 752 00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:14,500 and if I did, the audience... Probably the audience at home would go away. 753 00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:18,500 It is apparently so disgusting, it would never leave the studio 754 00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:23,500 - and I think we'd be sued by the studio. - By the Graham Norton Show. 755 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:24,500 Yeah, by the Graham Norton Show. 756 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:27,500 It's called surströmming. It's herring. 757 00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:31,500 What happens is, they put the herring in a barrel first of all, 758 00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:34,500 in a wooden barrel. With about half the amount of salt you need to cure it, 759 00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:38,500 so it's not cured, and instead of being cured, it ferments, it putrefies. 760 00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:42,500 And then after it's been like that for a month or so, you then put it in a can 761 00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:45,500 but the can is designed, as you can tell, 762 00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,500 to swell up slightly, so it's continuing to ferment. It's still... 763 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,500 - They buckle, don't they? - They buckle. 764 00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:54,500 And it's absolutely, unbelievably disgusting, this smell. 765 00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:58,500 There is nothing, apparently, as revolting, really, on the face of the Earth. 766 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:00,500 A friend of mine lives in Sweden and he says that, you know, 767 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,500 that is something you have to be Swedish to eat. 768 00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:05,500 Yeah. Indeed. It's a... I mean, they consider it a delicacy. 769 00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:07,500 Often, what they do, they open the can underwater 770 00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:09,500 because the way to eat it anyway, is to rinse it 771 00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:12,500 and then cover it with sort of, onions, which helps with the smell a bit. 772 00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:15,500 - And then drink it down. - It's got a best before date. 773 00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:19,500 - A bit late for that! - It is a bit late. 774 00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:21,500 - I'm going to move this away... - Best before we canned it. 775 00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:24,500 Apparently, in the 16th century, there were... 776 00:41:24,500 --> 00:41:27,500 You can have a look at the can, but please don't open it. 777 00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:29,500 There were Swedish sailors... 778 00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:32,500 No! 779 00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:35,500 ...who ran out of salt and they had this rotting fish 780 00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:39,500 and they found some Finnish islanders that they sold it to, 781 00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:42,500 thinking that, you know, they were idiot foresters who knew no better. 782 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,500 And then a year later, they came back and they met these same people 783 00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:48,500 and they said, "Can we have some more of this rotten fish, please?" 784 00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:49,500 So they thought, "Oh, maybe it's good?" 785 00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:52,500 So they tried it themselves and apparently, it is tasty, 786 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:54,500 - even though it smells... - It's the can. 787 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:57,500 ...beyond anything, yeah. I'm glad to say the can is holding up. 788 00:41:57,500 --> 00:42:02,500 So there you are. Surströmming. Baltic herring fermented in cans 789 00:42:02,500 --> 00:42:06,500 with foul smelling and explosive but allegedly delicious results. 790 00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:10,500 And so we head now staggering towards the bucket 791 00:42:10,500 --> 00:42:13,500 and there only remains the horrible embarrassment of the scores. 792 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:18,500 And, well, I have to say, totally repulsive as they all are, 793 00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:22,500 it's pretty impressive. In first place, repulsing all comers, 794 00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:24,500 with a positive 2 points, 795 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:25,500 Dara Ó Briain. 796 00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:38,500 In second place, with a reasonably bad taste in the mouth with 13.8 points 797 00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:40,500 it's Chris Addison. 798 00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:48,500 Gagging slightly from time to time, 799 00:42:48,500 --> 00:42:50,500 Sean Lock with minus 33! 800 00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:52,500 What? 801 00:42:53,500 --> 00:42:54,500 What? 802 00:42:55,500 --> 00:43:01,500 And just behind him taking an early barf, on minus 35, 803 00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:02,500 Alan Davies. 804 00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:09,500 That's all. 805 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:12,500 That's all from this stomach-churning edition of QI. 806 00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:14,500 So, it's goodnight from Chris, Sean, Dara, Alan and me, 807 00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:16,500 and one final word of advice. 808 00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:21,500 If you can't be a good example, try to be a horrible warning. Goodnight.