1 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,840 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,840 Hello! 3 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,600 Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, 4 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,160 good evening, good evening, 5 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:42,720 good evening and welcome to QI, which tonight is a tissue of lies. 6 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:48,040 Let's meet our perfidious panel - the duke of deception, Adam Hills. 7 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:56,520 The duchess of dissembling, Sara Pascoe. 8 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:03,360 The marquis of mendacity, Jack Whitehall. 9 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,720 And with his pants on fire, Alan Davies. 10 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,840 Our buzzers this evening are charged with enigmatic mystery. 11 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,080 Adam goes... 12 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,280 MUSIC: THE X-FILES THEME 13 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:26,720 Sara goes... 14 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,960 MUSIC: TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED THEME 15 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,880 Jack goes... 16 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,920 MUSIC: THE TWILIGHT ZONE THEME 17 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,920 Alan goes... 18 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,600 'I don't believe it!' 19 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,160 So, before we start, remember that I have hidden 20 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,560 a lavatory inside one of the questions, all right? 21 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,560 CASH REGISTER RINGS 22 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,520 TOILET FLUSHES 23 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,640 Because it's the L series, one of the questions involves a lavatory. 24 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,040 And if you think you've spotted which it is, 25 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,080 you wave your penny and spend it. 26 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,520 - Ah. - You spend your penny. All right. Let's start with a lark. 27 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,720 We like to do larks on the L series. 28 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,440 I'm going to show you how your senses can deceive. 29 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:13,880 So, Alan and Jack, you should each have a rubber hand 30 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,320 and a little grey wooden partition. 31 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,280 And Alan will explain and Jack will explain it. 32 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,040 I'm not quite au fait with prosthetics, 33 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:23,920 but I'll give it a crack(!) 34 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,320 Hold my hand here. 35 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,520 That's it. 36 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,160 You can stand up, Jack, if you like. 37 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,520 I've forgotten what I'm doing here. This goes here. 38 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,280 Yeah, like that. 39 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,440 OK. What you've got here is a perfectly obvious real hand, 40 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,400 your right hands, and a perfectly obvious fake hand. 41 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,280 And you've each got a brush. 42 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:46,120 So, all I want you to do is brush each hand sort of simultaneously, 43 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,080 and what you should feel, Adam and Sara... 44 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,520 Excruciating pain! 45 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,000 Jab hard into the hand until they roar! 46 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,560 Sara, scream! 47 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,400 - We'll come to that. For the moment, just a gentle rubbing. - SARA: OK. 48 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,480 - Eventually... - This hand will fall off. 49 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,240 Eventually, you will feel in the rubber hand 50 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,400 the same sensation you feel in your real hand. 51 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,880 - Which seems extraordinary... - Yeah? - ..but you will. 52 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,240 - And let me know when you do. - SARA: OK. 53 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,040 It may not have happened yet. 54 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,560 - Then you will urinate. - You have to keep going. - I'm sorry. 55 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:26,240 - You have to keep going. - I'm keeping going, I'm keeping going! 56 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,200 I am now starting to feel that this is my hand. 57 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,600 That's it, that's what happens. 58 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,320 I'm having trouble distinguishing. 59 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,360 - Are you not, Sara? - No. - Keep going, Alan. 60 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,200 - ADAM: Oh, that's nice. - You like? - Yeah. 61 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,240 - So you can feel that in the rubber hand? - Lower. Definitely. Lower. 62 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,240 You play your cards right, might get a happy ending with this. 63 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,200 - You're not feeling anything, Sara? - It feels very much like my hand... 64 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,240 - Oh, it now does feel like your hand? - No, my hand feels like my hand. 65 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,840 - Well, that would do, yes. - Yeah. 66 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,320 My hand has never felt more like it belongs to me. 67 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,960 - I'm going faster. - I think that will help. 68 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,760 OK. 69 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,480 OK, I've got it, I've got it! 70 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,680 - You've got it. - I've got it. I've got it. 71 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,920 Faster is better, keep up the speed. 72 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,160 Right. 73 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,240 It's happening now! It's my hand! It's my hand! 74 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,680 - It really does feel like it. - It's my hand now. 75 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,480 It's bizarre, isn't it? It's genuinely bizarre. 76 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,480 - And now you can get out the other brush. - What? - What? 77 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,640 They've got... 78 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,480 SHE SHRIEKS 79 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,280 MUSIC: THE TWILIGHT ZONE THEME 80 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,000 That's amazing, isn't it? 81 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,840 It is amazing, because I didn't believe it was going to happen. 82 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,320 That's what's so good - you really didn't believe. 83 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,080 It doesn't matter how much you know your hand is fake, 84 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,160 it doesn't matter how much you know it's rubber, the effect works. 85 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,160 You see it, you see that it's a clear fake, 86 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,480 but, extraordinary, the brain overrides 87 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,840 what it knows with what it feels. That is to say, the cognitive side. 88 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:47,160 That's not that he's just next to a slightly mal-coordinated 89 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,160 man-child with a rubber hammer. 90 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,400 We can show you a replay of Adam's reaction here, 91 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,640 because we've actually got it here. If you watch this, here. 92 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,720 Oh, that shirt is awful. 93 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,600 That is...that is genuine. 94 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,320 It's made all the more extraordinary by the fact, of course 95 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,320 you, as is well known, have a prosthetic foot. 96 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,720 I do, I do indeed. 97 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,520 And so you are used to all the cliches there are 98 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,800 about prosthesis and about phantom limbs and all the rest of it. 99 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:22,040 - Indeed. I have a strict, can I take this... - Yeah, you can put that away, do. - No, I meant can I take it home? 100 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,680 I have a strange thing with my prosthetic that I've found that I do, 101 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:31,160 if I'm, if I stub my toe, I will still stop and go, "Ow!" 102 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:36,640 I will actually loudly say ouch. And then realise, oh, it's the prosthetic, it didn't actually hurt. 103 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,600 I'm conditioned that when you stub your toe, you yell out. 104 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,000 And as you well know, and from war time, 105 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,280 the screams of pain people had, once they'd been amputated, 106 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,960 in the limbs that no longer existed, 107 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,360 they swore that their shins... 108 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,480 And having itches in them you can't scratch. 109 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,880 I can't imagine anything more agonising than having 110 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,880 an itch in something you can't scratch. 111 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,480 I met this guy who...in America, and he was a Vietnam veteran, 112 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,480 - and he knew someone who'd lost both legs. - Yeah. 113 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,040 And he went to see him in hospital and he said, 114 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,440 "I still haven't had sex with my wife." 115 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,200 He said, "Why? Why not?" 116 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,040 He said, "Oh, I haven't got any legs now, I feel awkward. 117 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,080 "I don't really, you know..." 118 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,000 He said, "Well, you should just do it." 119 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,720 So he really encouraged him to do it. 120 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,920 And then he went back to see him, and he had a big smile on his face. 121 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,200 And he said, "So, did you do the thing?" And he said, "Yeah. 122 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:27,160 "And with no legs, you can get right on up there." 123 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,360 Well... 124 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,920 It's one of the unexpected advantages. 125 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,760 - Talk about every cloud. - There you go. 126 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,600 I am cutting off my legs this evening. 127 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,880 Oh! Oh, goodness me. 128 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,520 But the point is, the brain has a mental map of the body from birth 129 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,600 and even if that map is distorted by an amputation, 130 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:57,800 it takes a lot for the brain to lose its sense of where everything is. 131 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,160 It can be fooled, as the rubber hand showed you. 132 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,800 I remember once being in bed with my girlfriend 133 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,240 and doing that thing where I fell asleep on my arm. 134 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,480 And of course your arm goes numb. 135 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,280 And I rolled then over onto my back and my arm fell across my stomach. 136 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,840 But because it was numb, I actually thought it was her arm on my stomach. 137 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,720 And I actually started stroking it. 138 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,920 Aww! How sweet. 139 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,360 And it was, but I then kind of realised that it wasn't her arm, 140 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,880 it didn't feel like her arm. It was... 141 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,720 "Who the hell's in the bed with me?" 142 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,920 I'm putting the light on! 143 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:38,560 Well that extraordinary rubber hand illusion proves that even our own senses can tell us porkies. 144 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,800 And speaking of porkies, what's the point of pink? 145 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,480 Oh, you mean in terms of like a gender colour? 146 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:49,160 This isn't to do with gender, it's purely to do with the colour itself. 147 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,680 In printing, pink, or at least a reddy pink, has a particular name. 148 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,120 If I was to say CYMK. 149 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,440 Magenta? 150 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,520 - Magenta is the right answer! - Get in! 151 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,240 APPLAUSE 152 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,120 C is for Cyan, which is probably the blue nearest us, as it were, 153 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,360 the six o'clock blue. 154 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:13,560 M for Magenta, Y for Yellow and K is the Black, CMYK. 155 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:18,480 But magenta is between blue and red, and that's to say between the lowest wavelength of visible light 156 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:22,200 and the highest wavelength of visible light, which is sort of not possible. 157 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:26,520 - So it's a kind of can't-really-exist colour, and yet it does. - Yes, it does! 158 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,800 It's what you might call I suppose, a pigment of the imagination! 159 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,200 - GROANS - Which is nice. Which is nice. 160 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,000 - So, in terms of the senses lying... - Yeah. 161 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:40,200 - Our eyes and colour is a bit like that, because the world doesn't look like this. - No. Not in the least. 162 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:44,440 - We have cones and rods in our eyes. - Mm-hm. - And rods deal with darkness and light, black to white, 163 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,680 and the cones deal with colour. So dogs have two cones, 164 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,240 so they can, they're not colour blind, 165 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:54,640 - but they see a lot less colour than we do in the world, because we have three. But birds have four! - Yes. 166 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,320 They can see ultraviolet rays. 167 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,320 Was it the Six Million...? Yeah, the Six Million Dollar Man, when 168 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,600 Steve Austin, it would obviously cost a lot more now than six million... 169 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,200 Oh, I'd say. 170 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,600 Steve Austin got a bionic eye... 171 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,680 Lee Majors, yes. 172 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,480 And all they gave him, really, was a zoom facility. 173 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,200 "Dun-dun-dun," exactly. 174 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,040 So he could see things further away. 175 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,040 That is pretty feeble. 176 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,040 If they'd given him about eight extra cones... 177 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,800 That's true! 178 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,400 - He could have seen so much... - How could they have shown that to us? - X-rays. 179 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,720 Now we have the Instagram eye and he could make it all sepia and old-fashioned. 180 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,040 LAUGHTER 181 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,000 Our eyes still only have three cones to watch him seeing something so 182 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,440 it would still look to our eyes... 183 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,880 Extremely good point. 184 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,800 He'd have needed a sidekick to say "But what can you see?" 185 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,640 "Like a bird! I can see ultraviolet light, which is where the villain is revealed by this!" 186 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,360 "Let me run over there, fast." 187 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,440 And also, while we're on the subject of the Bionic Man, 188 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,160 he had one leg that was really good and yet they showed him 189 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,520 running at 70 when the reality was he would have been 190 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:57,480 hopping at 70, because the other leg would have just been destroyed by 191 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:02,560 the speed at which, biomechanically, it would have been unable to cope. 192 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,440 It would have ruined my childhood. 193 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,560 - They would have been better off if they'd taken off both legs... - Yeah! 194 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,240 - Given him two bionic legs. - Given him wheels, Adam, wheels! 195 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,440 And the sex would have been amazing. 196 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,480 LAUGHTER 197 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:16,520 Bionic sex. 198 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,680 There was the Bionic Woman, Lindsay Wagner, and she had ears, didn't she? 199 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,040 She could hear anything. 200 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:25,040 - Lee Majors, Lindsay Wagner. Well before anybody in this audience was born. - Fictional people. 201 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,600 - Yes, they were totally madey-uppy. - Yes, good. 202 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,840 Before your time as well, oh, God, we feel so old, don't we? 203 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:35,160 - Yeah, but it was great being in the '70s. - It was, yeah. We could go to university for free. 204 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,520 MOCKING LAUGH 205 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,200 APPLAUSE 206 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:50,120 But anyway, the fact is, yeah, magenta doesn't really exist and yet it does, for our eyes. 207 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:54,760 There's also a special kind of pink which is known as Baker-Miller Pink, which is 208 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,360 you take a gallon of white paint and a pint of red paint and you 209 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,400 come up with what's in the middle, a sort of bubble-gum coloured pink. 210 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,440 It's pretty, isn't it? 211 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,880 What's interesting about that is that it was generally thought by psychologists and others 212 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:12,800 to create a feeling of passivity, and so was used in prisons and mental asylums 213 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,040 and was known as "drunk tank pink". 214 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,120 That looks like a fun prison, to be honest. 215 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,480 LAUGHTER 216 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,680 - I would definitely go there. - Gay prison! 217 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,040 So, the other thing they did, some American sporting teams thought 218 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:29,400 that, well, this is true about this pink, they changed their visitors' 219 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:34,200 changing rooms to pink, in order to make the visiting teams more passive. 220 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,680 Which is kind of cheating, really, isn't it? 221 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,880 - It is kind of cheating. - It's not very sporting. 222 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,440 So university sporting rules in America now mean you can change 223 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,040 any changing room's colour as long as your own is the same colour, 224 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,000 to stop that advantage. If it is an advantage. 225 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,560 It would be interesting to see how much difference it makes, 226 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,640 because surely this is an incremental thing. 227 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,000 You are completely right. 228 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,760 The fact is that apparently, even after half an hour, 229 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,640 people get used to it, and if they've been in a prison or a drunk tank before 230 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:05,160 - it reminds them of the drunk tank and they get angry and more aggressive. - It's associative, OK. 231 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,960 So it is really of no use whatsoever. 232 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,520 That's it, if you see pink elephants they might not really be there, 233 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,400 it seems to be an imaginary colour. 234 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,160 Which room in the house would you keep these in? 235 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,400 MUSIC: TWILIGHT ZONE THEME 236 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,400 Oh, just push it. In the library. 237 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,480 ALARM BLARES 238 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,280 Adam is about to score points, yes! 239 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,600 - Really? - Yeah. 240 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,360 Yeah! 241 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,640 Very good. 242 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,360 That's the penny well spent. 243 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,960 And can I just point out, in Australia, that's 2.50. 244 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,400 - What is that game with the pennies, odd and even... - Two up. - Two up. 245 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,920 Two up, that's right. 246 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:48,080 - It's a... - It's a betting game. - It's a betting game but it's only played one day a year. - That's right. 247 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,880 It's only played on ANZAC Day 248 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,920 - and it's played with pennies, I think. - That's right. Real, old-fashioned pennies. 249 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:58,440 You flip them up in the air and you bet on whether you get two heads, two tails or a head and a tail. 250 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,560 If you win a lot of money you're allowed to leave the room 251 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,760 and you have half an hour's grace before someone would chase you, 252 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,120 club you over the head and steal your winnings. 253 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,520 - It being Australia. - Yeah. 254 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:14,040 - In the nicest possible way. - Yeah, and the only day that it's allowed to be played now, 255 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,840 it's illegal any time of the year, except on ANZAC Day. 256 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,560 Well, if we have a look at the picture again, 257 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,400 those are actually English literature books, and this, 258 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:27,080 I'm afraid, is a French chamber pot, or commode if you prefer. 259 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,800 And they liked to shit on us and our literature in one go. 260 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,480 Oh, just when you think they can't do anything else. 261 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,480 When you open the lid, does it go, "Ugh"? 262 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,840 "I shit on you." Exactly. 263 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:44,480 "Because I can't beat you in a war, I will poo on your books." 264 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:49,080 You open the lid and it goes, # Boy, boy for sale. # 265 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,480 But perhaps the most impressive invention in recent times, 266 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,000 - for your lavatorial wants... - The helicopter. 267 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,720 Um, well... The Gotta Go Briefcase. It's Japanese, of course. 268 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,320 How much better do you get than that? 269 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,720 It's just simply superb. It's got everything you could possibly want, 270 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,880 including a newspaper to leaf through 271 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,320 if your easement is taking time. 272 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,160 I've always felt really sad when I leave a toilet, like, 273 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,920 "Oh, we've become such good friends." I wish I could just pack it up and carry it away(!) 274 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,440 - Now I can. - It's got a generously equipped sealing lid. 275 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,160 You can quietly and discreetly go about your personal business 276 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,760 anywhere you please, with a fold-out leather privacy panel, 277 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,680 - which tucks away neatly to the side. - Yeah, it looks like it hides you completely, that panel. 278 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:33,280 - A small tray with... - "What's that suitcase just sitting there?" 279 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,760 It's got a small tray with a cup-holder. 280 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,920 - Oh, great, so I don't even have to throw away my drink? - A cup-holder. 281 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,200 That's like Homer Simpson, 282 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,920 isn't it? Do you remember that episode where he bought a huge RV? 283 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,520 And Marge said, "Oh, Homer!" and he said, 284 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,960 "But, Marge, it's got six cup-holders! SIX!" 285 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,040 Men like cup-holders. 286 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,000 There's just something so great about them. 287 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,600 - It's got a vanity mirror. - I like the leather finish. 288 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,200 Yeah, refillable hand-sanitising dispenser. 289 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,160 Maximum weight capacity is 80 kilos. 290 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,320 "Exceeding the recommended weight will void all warranties..." 291 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,600 80 kilos?! What are you going to get, an elephant to shit in it?! 292 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,480 - I know. - How are you going to get 80 kilos?! 293 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,480 - I weigh less than 80 kilos. - It does seem extraordinary. 294 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,600 "I really need to get the... 295 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,760 "I'm going to exceed the limit!" 296 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,720 "It may result in rupture of waste tank, 297 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,760 "possible bacteria contamination of briefcase contents 298 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,280 "and massive stench." So you don't want to do that. 299 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,600 I'm assuming you haven't emptied it for a year. 300 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,880 Also, you would have two suitcases in meetings. 301 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,760 Everyone would be like, "Derek, why have you got two suitcases?" 302 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:35,920 If you got it wrong... 303 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,640 "No reason." And then he just hides behind the leather panel. 304 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,680 If you accidentally went, "I've been through the figures and... Oops!" 305 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,280 Massive stench! Massive stench! 306 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,240 - Oh, dear. - "How did the meeting go?" 307 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,560 "Oh, it was going fine until I got the bog out." 308 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,560 Alternatively, you go the other way. 309 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,400 "Thanks for letting me use your toilet briefcase." 310 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,600 "Oh, I don't have a toilet briefcase." 311 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,280 I ought to say that the 80 kilos includes the person sitting on it. 312 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,680 Oh, right. 313 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,280 I would break it, I've a horrible feeling. 314 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,240 That changes everything. 315 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,320 Maybe the sell it to banker-wankers in the City, 316 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,840 with the boast of it has an amazing surface to do cocaine off as well. 317 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,240 - When you open it up. - It would be perfect. 318 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:24,760 Absolutely, with the little dimples, you could snort out of the little leather dimples. 319 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,480 Anyway, that's the Gotta Go Briefcase. 320 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,560 And it's yours, I'm sure, for a very reasonable price. 321 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:35,920 If that question left a bad smell, why is the noseless lemur so badly named? 322 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,240 MUSIC: X-FILES THEME TUNE 323 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,680 I am going to take a punt and say it's not a lemur. 324 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,640 Oh! You're brilliant. We were hoping you'd say it has, actually, got a nose, 325 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:51,920 - in which case it's badly named, but you're right. - What, ever? - Never was, never will be. In fact it is a fish. 326 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,120 - It's pretty... - What? 327 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,720 Pretty difficult, you'd think to confuse a lemur and a fish. 328 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,560 You'd think that was a map of Madagascar, where lemurs come from, 329 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,960 but in fact that is the fossil, and for a very long time it was considered to be a lemur 330 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,080 and it was known as Scalabrini's noseless lemur. 331 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,600 Pedro Scalabrini was an Italian born Argentinian naturalist. 332 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,640 In 1898, he gave a fossil fragment to a palaeontologist called Florentino Ameghino, 333 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:21,920 who was so patriotic in his Argentinian-ness, that he hated the fact that particularly 334 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:26,600 Charles Darwin had said that all primates originated in Africa. 335 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,240 Which we now know to be true. 336 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,560 And a lemur is a primate, 337 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,880 lemurs only come from Madagascar, which was shaved 338 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,720 off from the mainland of Africa many, many millions of years ago. 339 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,760 There's an aye-aye. Wonderful lemur. 340 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,240 That's an English footballer just before a penalty shoot-out. 341 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,080 LAUGHTER 342 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,280 Desperately afraid. 343 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,680 "Who wants to take one?" 344 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,400 So he tried to prove, Ameghino, that lemurs existed in South America 345 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,080 in pre-Columbian times, which they didn't. 346 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:02,600 It turned out in 2012 that it was, in fact, an extinct fish. 347 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,400 Do you know, that picture of the lemur, the lemur's face there, 348 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,960 I'm assuming that's what I would look like if I was using the toilet briefcase. 349 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,400 Those perfectly round eyes are so beautiful. 350 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,240 That's after the massive stench. 351 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,760 Yeah. They are marvellous creatures. Well, talking of paleontological things, 352 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:25,880 the first platypus that was ever seen by Western man, nobody believed. They thought it... 353 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:30,160 No. But we did have a habit of explorers making up monsters 354 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,600 - and drawing pictures in the 16th and 17th century. - We certainly did. - Yes. 355 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,920 And that was considered an example of an obvious and ridiculous hoax. 356 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:38,960 How could that be? 357 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,360 And George Shaw, who was the naturalist, 358 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,760 examined it minutely for stitch marks around the beak, 359 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,680 because he could not believe that such, no-one could believe... 360 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,320 But even when you see them in real life, 361 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,840 - I went to see them in Melbourne, and you just can't believe... - They're hilarious. 362 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,560 You watch them for ages going "You don't make any sense!" 363 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:58,400 - All the bits of you! - Their mouths look like they belong in a Japanese briefcase. 364 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:03,320 - They do. They're so charming. - They're sweet. - And they're smaller than I expected. 365 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:04,640 Egg-laying mammals. 366 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,160 It took 30 years from the first specimen to arrive in Europe 367 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,320 for people to believe that it was real. They were absolutely convinced. 368 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,880 Oh, "We're not going to fall for this, But there it is. The platypus. 369 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,120 And do you know the first, I'm pretty sure the first kangaroo that was sent 370 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:20,640 back to one of the British museums, they sent it back but they didn't 371 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:25,080 give an example of how it stood, so it was mounted on all fours. 372 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,400 Oh, that's very believable. 373 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:30,520 With its tiny little paws, because its front paws were like this, and its massive bum sticking up. 374 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,000 Looks as if it's ready for action! 375 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,760 LAUGHTER 376 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,320 Now, what's this guy on about? 377 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,520 MAN SINGS GIBBERISH OVER RAP MUSIC 378 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,160 That was a 1972, rather before its time, 379 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,800 piece of rap, 380 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,720 by an incredibly famous Italian called Adriano Celentano, 381 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,480 who is not known here. 382 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,640 He had a huge hit with this, 383 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,440 which is called Prisencolinensinainciusol. 384 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,840 - You can see it written up and that will help you. - Oh, wow. 385 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,000 Prisencolinensinainciusol 386 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,360 in de col men seivuan 387 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,440 prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait. 388 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,520 Which is Italian for "Gangnam Style". 389 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,760 Yeah, kind of. What it is, it's just babble. 390 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,680 - Gibberish. - It's babble that is supposed to sound like English. 391 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,280 To an Italian, it sounds more or less like English sounds. 392 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,200 There's that famous clip of the person on Malaysia's Got Talent, 393 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,040 where they're singing Mariah Carey, Can't Live Without You, 394 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,280 which is possibly the greatest song ever recorded, 395 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,000 but she's heard it, clearly, through a second party 396 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,760 and doesn't know what the lyrics are, 397 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,240 so she burst into the chorus and she just goes... 398 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,800 # Ken Lee, Ken Lee Boo, dee, boo, doutchu. # 399 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,360 And she thinks it's about a guy called Ken Lee. 400 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,600 Aw... 401 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,680 Anyway, that was a huge hit in 1972. 402 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,840 Number one in Italy and it was in the top ten in France 403 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,920 and in Belgium and the Netherlands. 404 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,560 It's babble that is supposed to sound like English, 405 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,720 but in 2011, London-based film-makers Brian and Karl 406 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,320 produced a wonderful film called Skwerl, 407 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,120 which used a similar technique - 408 00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:25,880 the dialogue is actually gibberish but sounds like English. 409 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,600 It's had over seven million viewers 410 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,200 and we can show you a bit of it here. Run VT. 411 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,280 HE TALKS GIBBERISH 412 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,800 CUTLERY RATTLES 413 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,480 PLATES CRASH 414 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,840 SHE GASPS AND SOBS 415 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,920 FIZZING 416 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,800 You fucking asshole! 417 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,080 That wasn't gibberish, but we've got them here tonight, 418 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,320 Brian and Karl, thank you very much. 419 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,000 One of the hardest things to do in the world 420 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,080 is to talk gibberish without it becoming... 421 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,320 - Did you actually learn your gibberish? - We did, yeah. - Yeah. 422 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,000 Did you imagine that there was sense behind it? 423 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,360 He thinks she's forgotten his birthday, is that what this...? 424 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,000 That's one interpretation. 425 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,800 I'm not an actor, but Fiona, who's in the film, is an actress, 426 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,360 and so she needed to know what this was about, 427 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:34,880 she needed the intentions. 428 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,360 But I think it was important to kind of have a sort of a sense 429 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:40,520 - behind what we were saying. - It was a lot like what you were talking about 430 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,840 with Mariah Carey, Ken Lee and stuff. 431 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,000 We sort of had the sentences and then kind of garbled them 432 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,560 and kind of wrote down the garble as it came out. 433 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,880 I understood more words in that clip, 434 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,000 though, than I did in five series of The Wire. 435 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,680 - ADAM: Are you Australian? - Yeah, I'm Australian. - Yeah, I thought so. 436 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,120 Because we have a similar thing that we do where we don't use words... 437 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:09,040 - AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: - Do you think I haven't noticed? - Yeah, exactly. 438 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,920 - GASPING: - You have another thing you do, 439 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,320 which is sound as if you've got heartburn. 440 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,600 For some bizarre reason. I don't know why that is. 441 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,200 That's how they get the actors on Home And Away 442 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,280 to do an emotional scene - they just give them heartburn. 443 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:34,200 "Steven, the cafe's burnt...down again." 444 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,800 Australians will make enough noises that could be a sentence, 445 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,720 but there are no actual words in it. I'll try it. 446 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:44,120 RUNNING WORDS TOGETHER: So, OK, are you having a good night? 447 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,280 Yeah, right, it's all right, man. 448 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,200 Are you enjoying your time at QI? 449 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,600 HE TALKS GIBBERISH 450 00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,520 There's also... 451 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,120 I have a similar thing that I can do with posh people. 452 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,800 This gentleman in the front row here... 453 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,840 with the blue trousers. 454 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,480 HE MUMBLES IN POSH VOICE 455 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,920 Anyway, sorry, that's wonderful, Brian and Karl, 456 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,960 thank you very much indeed. Thanks for joining us. 457 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,680 Magnificent. 458 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,520 So, time for some refreshment. Here we go. 459 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,520 Let's have... You pass that there to Sara, if you would, Alan. 460 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,600 There you go. 461 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,400 - There's one for you, Jack. Pass one to Adam. - Is this carrot? 462 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,080 And I'll have one myself. And there's one for you, Alan. 463 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,880 Thank you so much. 464 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,320 There you go. 465 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,520 Hmm. Hmm! 466 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,600 - You look as if you... - Who grew this? - You've done this before. 467 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,440 - So... - You've got to make it upright first. 468 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,400 Oh, right. 469 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,960 Come on. Will you talk to it? 470 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:05,600 Come here, you. Oh, you look lovely. You're so huge(!) 471 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,680 I don't think I'm going to be able to manage it. 472 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,600 Oh, there you are, yes... 473 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:15,600 Hey-hey! What do you think these were once used for? 474 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,680 What were carrots used for, or particularly these ones on sticks? 475 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:25,960 Ones on sticks. 476 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,960 Waving in tiny airplanes? 477 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,760 Is it like what Gwyneth Paltrow gives her kids? 478 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,800 She probably does, yeah, they probably are. 479 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,400 To see in the dark? 480 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,160 ALARM BLARES 481 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,400 Seeing in the dark, well, you're in the right era. 482 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,760 When was it said that carrots could help you see in the dark? 483 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,520 At night. 484 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:02,400 In which period of history was it made known to people, 485 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,960 this idea, which is not really true? 486 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,320 The Dark Ages. Not the Dark Ages. 487 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,000 - When did people discover vitamins? - SARA: Yeah. 488 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,400 That wasn't until the beginning of the 20th century. 489 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,160 Because vitamin A is the key, it helps your eyes, doesn't it? 490 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,680 Vitamin A does help your eyes. 491 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,040 So it must have been around about then. 492 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,360 Well, it was really... It... 493 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,560 It must be so hard being a rabbit. It really... 494 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,920 They would never get any talking done. 495 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,720 No, they wouldn't, would they? 496 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,320 They'd be, "Sorry, what are you saying?" 497 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,400 - "I've got a mouthful of bloody carrot." - Good God! 498 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,160 The problem was, in the Second World War, there was... 499 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,000 We would run out of... 500 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,720 Put it away. 501 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,800 Concentrate, Stephen. 502 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,880 Stop flapping... Oh, yes, that's what I need to do. 503 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,960 You look like the world's worst burlesque dancer. 504 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,880 SARA: I've seen worse. 505 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,760 So, in the Second World War, 506 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,040 there was a very great shortage of sugar, 507 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,240 and there was a big surplus of carrots, 508 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,000 and so they put it about that carrots helped you see in the dark. 509 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,720 I bloody love carrots, me. 510 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,760 So they made sort of ice creams, as it were, 511 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,640 - out of carrots, to try and make them attractive to children. - OK. 512 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,440 There is a certain amount of sugar in them. 513 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,480 - They tasted a little sweet, didn't they? - Yeah, it was lovely. 514 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,640 And there was a Group Captain, John Cunningham, 515 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,560 who was responsible for very daring night raids over Germany, 516 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,120 and they gave it out that what allowed him to do it 517 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,240 was the fact that he ate carrots. 518 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,960 In fact, what they were really doing was disguising the fact 519 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:36,120 - that they had on-board aircraft... - Rabbits. - ..radar. 520 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:38,080 They had radar on board. 521 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,880 They didn't want the Germans to know. 522 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,480 The Germans knew we had ground radar, 523 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,480 not that we had radar on board airplanes. 524 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,120 So they sold the carrot story to the Germans as well? 525 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:48,680 That was the idea, both to get children to eat their carrots 526 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,480 and maybe to get the Germans to believe that it was carrots 527 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,080 that allowed our bombers to see over those... 528 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,200 Wouldn't it have been more beneficial 529 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,520 if they'd said the reason our pilots are so good at seeing at night 530 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,840 is because they eat slightly undercooked chicken? 531 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,840 You should have been working in British Intelligence. 532 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:11,680 - POSH VOICE: - "You're just the kind of chap we need, Whitehall." 533 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,160 Now, how does the "what the hell" effect work? 534 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,160 MUSIC: TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED THEME 535 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,760 - Yes? - This is relevant to people who are dieting 536 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,480 or sometimes people who have substance abuse problems 537 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:25,880 and things like that. 538 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,680 So it's when you are being quite strict with yourself. 539 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,800 Stop talking about me for a second, yes. 540 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,960 It's when you're being very strict with yourself 541 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,040 and you think you've slipped up in a slight way, so you're really hungry 542 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,040 and you have a biscuit when you're on a diet 543 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,840 and then you go, "I've ruined the diet now, 544 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,720 "I'm going to finish that packet of biscuits and do some crack..." 545 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,280 Oh, tell me about it. 546 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,600 And they properly leap in and start again tomorrow. 547 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,920 You're so right - you've fallen off the wagon... 548 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,440 - I've done everything wrong now, I'll get a tattoo... - Yeah. 549 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,640 Those people who say, "I was very good yesterday, 550 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,320 "I've been good today, so tomorrow - Black Forest gateau for breakfast." 551 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:58,360 Yeah, oh. 552 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,160 I mean, that is certainly a "what the hell" effect, 553 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,760 there's no question about that. 554 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,880 There is another "what the hell" effect, 555 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,200 but yours, I think, counts, unquestionably. 556 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,320 This is used by Dan Ariely 557 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,160 and his partners at Duke University in North Carolina. 558 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,080 And what it describes is how, when someone has 559 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,080 overcome their initial reluctance to cheat, 560 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,680 subsequent dishonest behaviour gets easier. 561 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,760 And he tested this with college students who were solving 562 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,960 maths problems for money, and when his back was turned, 563 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,560 they could cheat, and the more they saw they got away with it, 564 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,760 the more they cheated. But what was interesting is, 565 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,000 the scores were not inflated by a few students, 566 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,480 who were cheating a lot, but many students cheating a little. 567 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,240 Cheating, in that sense, is infectious. 568 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,280 You go, "What the hell, I can do it," so you do it. 569 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,440 Is that like that thing when you're telling a lie, 570 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,400 and you're telling a story about what happened on the weekend and... 571 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,160 Oooh, and it gets further and further... 572 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,520 And then you embellish it a little bit. And then you think, "I got away with that. 573 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,280 "I might just add a little bit more to it." 574 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,880 And then suddenly it's this big, fanciful story because 575 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,080 of that tiny, little... 576 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,960 The awful thing is, because it is a lie it is stored in a different 577 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,760 part of your memory so when, so when a week later someone says, 578 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:08,080 "Tell that marvellous story about that time you," and you're going, "Shit, what did I say?" 579 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,680 But animals, interestingly, animals can cheat. 580 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,840 Koko, who is a wonderful gorilla in California, 581 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:15,880 once tore a steel sink off a wall 582 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,680 and then used sign language 583 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,600 - to tell her handlers that the cat had done it. - Yes. 584 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,680 A real child-like fib. "It wasn't me, it was the cat." 585 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,840 The closer you get to human beings, the more of a liar you become. 586 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,280 And perhaps an even more famous chimp, Nim Chimpsky, 587 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,320 about whom a film was made, who has a really developed sign language, 588 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,400 she used to duck out of sign language lessons 589 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,280 by saying she needed to go to the loo when she didn't. 590 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,440 She'd say, "I have to go for a pee," like that, 591 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,160 she'd go off and you'd see her not going for a pee. Or him, rather. 592 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,240 So animals are capable of deception. 593 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,280 So maybe we should only eat animals that can lie. 594 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,960 Well, lying seems to be a sign of intelligence, 595 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,760 I'm glad to say, as an inveterate liar myself. 596 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,560 Ariely, this man who did the work on the "what the hell" effect, 597 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,320 he found people who score higher on psychological tests 598 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,920 for creativity are more likely to engage in dishonesty. 599 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,360 Anyway, there we are. 600 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,160 We are who we are because we cheat. 601 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:10,280 The "what the hell" effect describes how, after the first lie, 602 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:11,880 the others just keep coming. 603 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:16,320 Be truthful, how do you rate your own driving, generosity and ability to conduct an adult relationship? 604 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:21,080 I was reading about how we all over-estimate our input into things, so they were asking couples 605 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,640 what percentage of the housework do you do? 606 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,840 - And it would add up to about 130%. - Yeah. 607 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,880 Because everyone, even if they know they only do a little bit, 608 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,000 they still think that's more or its worth more. 609 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,120 Everyone thinks they do more than their partner. 610 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,280 - Everyone thinks they're a good driver. - Everyone. 611 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,560 Everyone thinks they're better than average. 612 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,000 - I'll be a great driver, I'll be a great dad. - I don't. 613 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,760 - You don't think any of those things? - No, I can't drive. I don't think of myself as a good driver. 614 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:50,080 - You haven't passed your test? - No. - Then that's fair enough. You probably are a crap driver then. 615 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,840 - Yeah. - Do you think you're good in bed? 616 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,360 I haven't passed that test either. 617 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,200 Failed on three minors and a major. 618 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,480 - With emergency stop. - Yeah. 619 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,080 Ah, that's the worst. That is the worst. 620 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,080 I kept changing lanes when I shouldn't. 621 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,200 LAUGHTER AND GROANS 622 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:16,160 Yeah. We all do have a high view of ourselves... 623 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,360 Dear God almighty. 624 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,560 We tend to think we're better at things like donating to charity, 625 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,400 voting, maintaining a successful relationship, 626 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,920 volunteering for unpleasant lab experiments. 627 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,800 But, I'm glad to tell you that Institute for Child Study at Toronto University 628 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,640 claims that toddlers who tell lies 629 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,680 early on are more likely to do well in later life. 630 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,160 The complex brain processes involved in formulating 631 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,120 a lie are an indicator of a child's intelligence. 632 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:45,040 So it doesn't necessarily mean if you lie your way through life you'll do better. 633 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:49,400 - No. - It just means if you can lie early, then you're quite creative and you can get through life. 634 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,880 - Yes. - I'm saying this in case my daughter is watching. 635 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,720 - Good point. - Don't want to get the wrong idea, absolutely. 636 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,360 So, now I want you to be thoroughly dishonest by pretending 637 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,600 you don't know you're going to get a klaxon, 638 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,600 because it's General Ignorance time. Fingers on buzzers, please. 639 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,240 What are deserts mostly from? 640 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,560 - MUSIC: TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED THEME - Yes, Sara? - Sand. 641 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,800 - ALARM BLARES - Oh, thank you. 642 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:11,800 What? What? 643 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,400 - You'd think, wouldn't you? - Yeah. - Not the case. No. 644 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,360 Only one-third of the world's land surface is desert 645 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,840 and only a small proportion of that is sand. 646 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,120 North American deserts are around 2% sand. 647 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,200 No more than that. There's Monument Valley. 648 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,400 Globally, on average, only 20% of all deserts are sand, a fifth. 649 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,200 The remainder is made of rock, shingle, salt or even snow. 650 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,240 - And camels. - And camels. 651 00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,760 - Yes, camel poo. - There's lots of cigarettes all over the desert. 652 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,080 The driest desert in the world is...? 653 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,400 - The Gobi Desert. - No. 654 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,640 - Any thoughts? - AUDIENCE MEMBER: - Antarctica. 655 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,840 There is an argument for saying the Antarctic is a dry desert. 656 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,080 - It doesn't rain there. - Yeah, it doesn't, 657 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,560 but the Atacama is considered the driest land desert. 658 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,680 Some weather stations there have recorded no rain whatsoever, 659 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,680 - not one. - What a boring job, being in that weather station. 660 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,840 The largest desert on Earth is Antarctica, 661 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,200 even though much of it is under snow. 662 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,280 But the one area that is the driest, man who shouts a lot, 663 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:10,480 are the McMurdo Dry Valleys. 664 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,080 Is that his Red Indian name? 665 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,800 Yeah. And they consist mostly of... 666 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,320 They consist... 667 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,840 Man Who Shout A Lot. 668 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,000 The McMurdo Dry Valleys are so dry 669 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,520 that dead animals mummify rather than decay. 670 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,320 - What is that? What animal is it? - A seal. 671 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,680 If it's dehydrated it might come back to life if you get it wet. 672 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,080 Yeah, if you get it wet and it rains... 673 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,920 - Like Knorr chicken soup. - Ball on the tail. I'm doing ball on the tail. - I can see. 674 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,240 It seems that if you want to identify a desert, 675 00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:50,680 the best way to do so involves looking for the rain, not for sand. 676 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,960 How did the Vikings bury their dead? 677 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,360 On a boat. On fire. 678 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,720 - Oh, on a boat on fire. - ALARM BLARES 679 00:34:57,720 --> 00:35:00,840 Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. No. 680 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,360 In the ground...? 681 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,360 Yeah. More or less. 682 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,440 I feel a bit sad about how tentative I was about that. 683 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,880 The myth of the burning longboat is very, very recent - 19th century. 684 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,560 In fact, there is one story of Baldur, a god, 685 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,440 who was apparently burned like that, 686 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,360 the rest of it is pretty much Ladyboy...Ladybird book stuff. 687 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,840 - I love the Ladyboy books. - Did I say "Ladyboy books"? 688 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,360 Ladybird books. 689 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,440 - They didn't have horns either, did they? - No, they didn't have horns. 690 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:37,160 The late 19th century was a period of enormous European rediscovery 691 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,520 of their ancient myths and so on, or at least 692 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:44,520 not just rediscovery but making up. In the case of Britain it was Arthurian legend 693 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,760 and druidic legend, a lot of which was totally nonsense. 694 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,200 And there was a Swedish illustrator called Gustav Malmstrom, and he 695 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,160 did these horned helmets and dragons' wings on the heroes' headgear. 696 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,200 And his Saga became an international hit and made the Vikings' name. 697 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:02,240 And a Vikingr was a pirate or raider. A viking was a raiding expedition. 698 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:03,960 A vikingr would go on a viking. 699 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,880 And Vik or Vike is old Norse for a bay of a fjord. 700 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,720 And Reykjavik means a 'smoky bay', for example. 701 00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:15,960 Reyki, Auld Reekie is the old smoky town, Edinburgh, in Scottish. 702 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:19,200 I've also heard once that kind of socialist atmosphere that 703 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,560 pervades Sweden kind of also came from the Vikings, 704 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:27,760 because there was just enough alcohol to keep everyone happy, 705 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,520 so you were just, there's a Swedish word called Largon, 706 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,480 which means not too much and not too little. 707 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:36,040 And if you, when you gave out the vodka to all of the people rowing on the ships... 708 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:40,360 - The aquavit. - The aquavit, yes. Not to much that someone down the back wouldn't get enough, 709 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,720 and not too little that they'd be unhappy that they didn't get enough. 710 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:46,080 So it was just evenly shared out over everyone 711 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:50,280 that was rowing and that's pervaded Swedish culture and that's why they are now... 712 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,320 - Sharey people. - Pissed. 713 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,320 Lightly pissed, sharey people. 714 00:36:56,320 --> 00:37:00,160 Yes, Vikings sometimes buried their dead in a boat, but always on land. 715 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,360 Which bit of whale did they use to make a whalebone corset? 716 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:08,280 - I'm going to take a punt and say the jaw. - Not the jaw. 717 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:09,920 Penis? 718 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,280 Not the penis. 719 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,440 - Is it not part of a whale? - The wishbone. 720 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,000 It is part of the whale. 721 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,320 Not the wish... Did you say the wishbone? 722 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:22,160 - That's a huge tug of war. - So for a corset... Is it the ribs? 723 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,600 MAN SHOUTS OUT 724 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,320 ALARM BLARES 725 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:28,280 Who said the ribs? 726 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,520 I did, I said it first. 727 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,800 - Oh, sorry about that, no, not the ribs. - No worries. 728 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,240 I think Shouty Man had it again. 729 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,320 MAN SHOUTS OUT 730 00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,400 SARA: That isn't how you get on the show. 731 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,000 This is not that thing with James Corden on Sky 1, 732 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,800 thank you very much indeed. 733 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:46,880 My show. 734 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:48,160 Oh, yes! 735 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,480 Whoops. 736 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,800 - More's the pity. - The show now four series on. 737 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,880 More's the pity. 738 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,240 I wish it were, The Shouty Show. 739 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,520 - With the drunk cricketer. - Yeah, that one, exactly. 740 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,880 No, as I think they were shouting, "The baleen." 741 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,920 - Does that mean anything? - The thing in the mouth. 742 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,800 - Yeah, the sieve in the mouth. - That sieves the... - Oh, I see. 743 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,440 There are two types of whale - baleen whale and toothed whale - 744 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,920 and the blue whale is an example of a baleen whale there. 745 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,760 The baleen is in fact keratin, 746 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,360 the same thing that our hair is made of, our fingernails, 747 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,040 or rhinoceros horn is. 748 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,280 So it's wonderfully pliable. 749 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,360 It was the plastic of the 19th century, essentially. 750 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,360 - Right. - There was a Mr JA Sevey trading out of Boston 751 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,480 who offered 54 different whalebone products. 752 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,800 Whips, parasols, umbrellas, fishing rods, canes, hat, divining rods, 753 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,600 riding crops, ferrules, brushes, mattress stuffing, 754 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,320 back-supporters, suspenders, billiard cushion springs, 755 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,400 pen-holders, shoehorns, tongue scrapers and policemen's clubs. 756 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,600 - All possible. - That is a good Saturday night. 757 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,480 Empty your pockets out. 758 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,120 But real whalebone was used for something else. 759 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,200 It was a cheap substitute for ivory. 760 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,000 And you probably know of the carving that was done on it 761 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,080 that sailors used to do, which had a particular name? 762 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,040 I do not know of the name of that. 763 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,240 Oh, we'll have to ask Shouty Man again. 764 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:12,440 - AUDIENCE MEMBER: - Scrimshaw! - Scrimshaw is the right answer, yes. 765 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,520 - He's very clever, Shouty Man. - He is. 766 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,120 - He's a very smart shouty man. - He's a smart shouty man. 767 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,800 It may be a whole series of organised shouty men, 768 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,000 I don't know, but we're very impressed by them. 769 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,880 They may have to get a score at the end, 770 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:25,240 that's what's worrying me. 771 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:28,520 Yes, scrimshaw is...you know that very carved whalebone effect? 772 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,480 It's sometimes done on horns. I mean, amazing, some of it. 773 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,120 Even a whole desk was once done out of whalebone, 774 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:35,520 because whales are big animals. 775 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,240 I'd love to think that there were cases of people wearing 776 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:39,760 a whalebone corset. 777 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:44,440 And just being out at a party and going... "I'm really hungry. 778 00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,360 "Oh, there's a spare prawn in here." 779 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,480 Yes, it would be lovely, wouldn't it? 780 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,400 Of course the baleen is used, it's this huge sieved area, it sucks 781 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:56,120 in this huge amount of water, filled with krill and plankton and so on. 782 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,560 Then the baleens sort of mesh together 783 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,120 and it pushes all the water out and all the food is left clinging 784 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:06,240 to this filter, which it then sucks into its mouth. And it's fantastically efficient. 785 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:09,080 So it would be the equivalent of going up in your whalebone corset 786 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:10,840 to the buffet and just going... SUCKING 787 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,600 Letting out the bits you don't want. 788 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:15,080 Yes, most whalebone was not bone but baleen, 789 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,600 the 19th-century equivalent of plastic. 790 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,520 Can you name a blue sea creature? 791 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,320 - MUSIC: THE TWILIGHT ZONE THEME - Alan? Oh. 792 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,000 Yes, Jack? 793 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,120 Shouty Man, drop it like it's hot. 794 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,720 Mine! 795 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,680 Is he going to fall for our trap? 796 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,320 - AUDIENCE MEMBER: - A blue whale! 797 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,520 Is the right answer! 798 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,320 Yes, I love this guy! 799 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,400 That's the fastest I've ever been on the draw as well. 800 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,840 - That was quick, and still wasn't... - I broke my buzzer. - You did. 801 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:52,640 'I don't believe it!' 802 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,240 You've broken your carrot now. 803 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:57,040 We thought you might be so afraid you'd say, "Not the blue whale." 804 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,280 - No, I was pretty sure about that one. - It is blue. 805 00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,960 It's not very blue, but it's blue enough to call blue. 806 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,560 - It's bluer than most things, innit? - It is. - It's all relative. 807 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,560 The colour spectrum is different under water. 808 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:08,800 It's quite a common... a common qualor... 809 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,760 It's quite a common colour amongst... 810 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,880 The gibberish blokes can understand all of that. 811 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,680 - Absolutely. - SARA: A dory is blue. 812 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,680 There's the blue marlin, which is pretty blue. 813 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:20,240 - A dory is blue. - Yes. The blue starfish you can see is jolly blue. 814 00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:21,800 Blue marlin there. 815 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,320 Blue Man Group. 816 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,840 And the beautiful blue angel there, the glaucus atlantica. 817 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,240 The blue angel, as well as being a Marlene Dietrich film, 818 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:35,320 is a very interesting fish, in as much as it's venomous, 819 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,640 but its venom is second hand. 820 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,480 It feeds on the Portuguese Man of War, 821 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,600 and ingests its poison so that it becomes venomous itself. 822 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,120 Isn't that clever? 823 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,960 - Cunning! - Very cunning, very cunning. 824 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,520 So the grey whale is pretty grey, the humpback is pretty grey. 825 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,120 The sperm whale is dark grey/black, but the blue whale, 826 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,240 as you can see, is jolly blue. There it is, bottom right. 827 00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,280 I see it. 828 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,640 Yeh-hey. Your favourite whale. 829 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,480 Would we lie to you? Blue whales are blue, pretty much. 830 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,000 Well, that's our last tissue in our box of lies. 831 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,320 It's time for the unvarnished truth with the scores. 832 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,240 And it's pretty bally fascinating. 833 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:15,640 In last place, with minus... 834 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,600 Oh, dear. Minus 19, 835 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,600 but with a tremendous performance 836 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,480 and a wonderful last rally, Jack Whitehall. 837 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,560 With minus 11, an entirely creditable third place, 838 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,680 she knew so much, Sara, Sara Pascoe. 839 00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:42,280 I get all the buzzers, I got two. I got two. 840 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:45,680 On minus 8, second place, Alan Davies. 841 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,680 Minus 8, pretty pleased. 842 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,480 And a staggeringly secure first place, 843 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,120 - on plus 14, Adam Hills. - Oh, my goodness. 844 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,000 And tonight, of course, a special award of minus 39 845 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,720 for the shouty man in the audience! 846 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:18,120 Yes, it only remains for me to thank Adam, Jack, Sara and Alan 847 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,880 and leave you with the last words of Spanish Prime Minister 848 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,240 General Ramon Maria Narvaez. 849 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:27,080 "I do not have to forgive my enemies, 850 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,320 "I have had them all shot." 851 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,400 Good night. 852 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE