1 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:26,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,160 Hey! 3 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,080 How nice! 4 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,160 How lovely. 5 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,080 Good evening. 6 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,320 And welcome to QI, for a show all about numbers. 7 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,400 Tonight, we will cross the divide and go forth and multiply, 8 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,960 and in addition, we will subtract lots of points from Alan. 9 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,760 So... LAUGHTER 10 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,880 Let's meet our four fine figures. The rational Colin Lane... 11 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,040 - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Thank you. 12 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,760 ..the complex Sarah Millican... 13 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 14 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,720 ..the imaginary Noel Fielding... 15 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 16 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,400 ..and the extremely random Alan Davies. 17 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 18 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,760 So, if they would like to grab my attention, 19 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,920 they can count on their buzzers and Colin goes... 20 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,160 # One, two, three, four, five. # 21 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,240 Sarah goes... 22 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,640 # Five, four, three, two, one. # 23 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,920 - That's pretty good. - Ah, that's very good. Noel goes... 24 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,440 # Two, four, six, eight. # 25 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,080 And Alan goes... 26 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,360 # ABC, ABC. # 27 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,880 LAUGHTER 28 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,720 So, here is question one. 29 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,000 Which is the loneliest number? 30 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,440 # Three, four, five. # 31 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,840 - Yes? - One? 32 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,560 No. 33 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,880 It's the obvious one, but it's not that one. 34 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,120 So, maybe two is the loneliest number, 35 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,680 because it's next to the one that gets talked about the most. 36 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,000 And do you know what? 37 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,120 I would make that entirely a correct answer 38 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,040 if it wasn't so horribly wrong. No. 39 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,760 - ALAN: - Three is the magic number. - Three is the magic number. 40 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,080 Well, I've never tried, but so they say. 41 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,000 LAUGHTER 42 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,880 - NOEL: - Is it 13, cos it's quite unlucky, 43 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,760 so the other numbers don't want to go near it? 44 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,520 LAUGHTER 45 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,960 - OK, so it is an unpopular number. - Nought. 46 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,560 - No, it's quite a high number. So, there's a mathematician... - 100. 47 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,760 - You're going in the right direction. NOEL: - And 14. - 200. 48 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,720 - No, we're not going to play this higher or lower. - 101. 49 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,800 - 79. - 102, 103, 104...110. 50 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,360 - Yes! - 110? - It's 110. 51 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,200 - 110. - Alan gets the point. 52 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 53 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,400 So, now... 54 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,000 Now, I don't speak now for the rest of the evening. 55 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,880 Yep, that's it. 56 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,840 So, there's a mathematician called Alex Bellos 57 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,920 and he wanted to find the world's favourite number. 58 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:53,920 So, he asked a lot of people and 30,023 people responded. 59 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:59,360 And the lowest whole number that nobody chose was 110. 60 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:03,000 - It was everybody's least favourite number. AUDIENCE: - Aw. 61 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,240 So, QI has adopted it as our favourite number. 62 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,760 - Yay! - Yes. 63 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,880 APPLAUSE 64 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,000 That was a very, very lukewarm round of applause. 65 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,960 You prefer number seven, don't you? 66 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,320 CHEERING 67 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,960 OK, well, why might you prefer number seven? 68 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,440 That's a really interesting thing. 69 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:24,800 - NOEL: - Is it the lucky number? 70 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,880 - It's the world's favourite number. - Oh. 71 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,520 That is the one that Alex Bellos discovered most people preferred. 72 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,720 And, in fact, there was a National Lottery draw 73 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,040 which rather bore this out. 74 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,440 The 23rd of March 2016, 75 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,400 five of the six numbers were multiples of seven, OK? 76 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,880 So, there was 7, 14, 21, 35, and 42, 77 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,440 and the other one was 41 78 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,840 and so many people chose them, 79 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,400 you got more money from matching four numbers 80 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,280 than you did from matching five. 81 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:53,400 So, four numbers you got £51 and five right you got £15. 82 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,120 When you were talking about a threesome, 83 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,160 I was trying to work out if I've had a sevensome. 84 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:58,720 A sevensome? 85 00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,880 I think I have. 86 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,640 I haven't. 87 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,200 I have. 88 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,440 If you can count your pets then I probably have. 89 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,480 LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH 90 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,720 Doesn't count if they're sleeping on the bed at the time, 91 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,040 that doesn't count. 92 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,680 Anyway, moving on. Now, have a look at these different numbers. 93 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,760 So, number one, anybody know what that one is 94 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,360 - right there in the middle? COLIN: - Er... 95 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,640 - The hieroglyph. - I'm not good on hieroglyphics. 96 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,880 Pass. 97 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,120 So, what were you saying, Colin? You were making a noise. 98 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,360 - You were just making the noise? - I was just making a noise. 99 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,800 - What was the noise? - Err. - Yeah. So, that's... 100 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,240 - Weirdly, it's quite close to the correct answer. - Is it? - Yes. 101 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,840 It's a man holding his hands up, 102 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:43,520 and he's most likely called either Huh, or Huuh, 103 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,200 or huh-huh-huh-huuuh. 104 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,160 The thing is, there are no vowels in hieroglyphs 105 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,720 and we don't know how it's pronounced, 106 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,120 but it's going to be some kind of vowely-H sound, 107 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,720 and he represents a million for the Egyptians. 108 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,600 - Oh. - I think he's just going like, "I've no idea how many." 109 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,400 I think he's lost his keys. 110 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,320 Someone went, "Do you know where your keys are?" 111 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,920 And he went, "I don't know." 112 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,640 They're on your elbows, mate. 113 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,720 He basically represents infinity because to the Egyptians 114 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,160 a million is a very large, undefined number. 115 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,400 A bit like the way we use myriad so myriad actually means 10,000 116 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,680 but that isn't how we use it. 117 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,280 We use it as a symbol for something huge. 118 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,360 The Egyptians also had a symbol for 10,000 but it's just that. 119 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,960 A bent finger is 10,000 in... 120 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,720 So, if I ever go to you, "You owe me..." 121 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,360 - COLIN: - So, if you say something in parentheses... - Oh. 122 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,640 ..then you also owe me 40,000. 123 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,960 - Yes. - Yes. - Or you're doing shadow rabbits. - Yes! 124 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,440 - Either way, it's a fun evening ahead. - Yeah. 125 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,440 Let's have a look at the other ones that we've got, 126 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,120 other than our Egyptian. 127 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,320 So, the eye, anybody know what the eye is, another pictogram? 128 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,000 Well, because I'm from Australia, 129 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,560 is it just a weird kind of Sydney Harbour Bridge, perhaps? 130 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,400 - Oh, I like that. - It could be. 131 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,640 - Yes. - I'll go for five. 132 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,960 No, it's four, three. 133 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,800 - -1. - Hmm, hmm, hmm. 134 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,400 - Two. - Zero. - Yeah! - Zero? - Zero! 135 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,760 - Zero, very good. NOEL: - Zero? 136 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,840 It looks like I'm working you today. 137 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,960 It's the Mayan number zero. 138 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,080 Why didn't they just write zero, the Mayans? 139 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,760 Oh, because they were very busy doing a lot of clever things 140 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,160 - for us to find later. - Oh. 141 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,040 They had the concept of zero by about 30 BC, 142 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,520 at which time the Romans and the Greeks didn't bother with it. 143 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,800 - Couldn't be arsed. - They didn't have a number zero. - Why's it eye shaped? 144 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,040 It looks like the eye's got prison bars over it. 145 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,200 Like they've outlawed looking. 146 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,200 No, the Greeks didn't bother with it, cos maths was more geometry for them, 147 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,120 so the zero didn't make any sense. 148 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:46,840 In fact, we don't get the zero in Europe until about the 13th century. 149 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,880 Before that, couldn't be arsed. 150 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,440 Let's have another look. OK, number three there. 151 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:59,280 Two to the power of 74,207,281 minus one. 152 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,640 Is it going to be the highest prime number or something? 153 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,480 It is. The largest prime number. You are on fire tonight. 154 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 155 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,880 It's a Mersenne prime. 156 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,800 It is the largest one they've ever discovered 157 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,960 and it was discovered, obviously, by a computer. 158 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,800 Dr Curtis Cooper at the University of Central Missouri 159 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,880 set the computer off and then there was a glitch and an e-mail saying, 160 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,480 "We found it! We found it!" went unnoticed for months 161 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,000 - until they discovered it by accident. - It went into spam? 162 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,400 It went into spam, yes! 163 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:35,720 It contains 228,388,618 digits in total. 164 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,640 It's basically 2x2x2 74 million times... 165 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,680 - Wow. - ..minus one. 166 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,240 That's my lucky number. 167 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,480 But it's impossible to believe these things, isn't it, 168 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,120 that it's not divisible by anything at all? 169 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,360 - That's... - That's absolutely mind-blowing. 170 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,160 - Mind-blowing, isn't it, that that's a prime number? - Yeah. 171 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,480 So, the next one, number four there, eight billion and 85. 172 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,080 Any thoughts what that might be? 173 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,720 - That's a huge number, isn't it? - Bacteria on your person? 174 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,520 Oh, gross me out. 175 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,760 LAUGHTER 176 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,360 Bacteria within your person? 177 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:10,960 SANDI AND SARAH GROAN 178 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,760 Bacteria trying to get out of your person. 179 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,640 I've honestly never felt so filthy. 180 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:23,720 So, if you were to write out all the numbers from one to ten billion 181 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,320 in words and organise them into alphabetical order, 182 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,080 this is the very first one that would be an odd number. 183 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:34,280 And that is because eight is the very first number alphabetically. 184 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,840 It begins with E. 185 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,240 Also, all the numbers beginning with eight 186 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,880 have to come before the next number, which would be 11. 187 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,720 So, it goes eight, eight billion, eight billion and eight, 188 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,720 eight billion and 18, eight billion and 80, eight billion and 88, 189 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,520 eight billion and 85, 190 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,280 so, it's the very first one that is an odd number. 191 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,960 OK, would it be a problem if you just explained that again? 192 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,320 Did you wish to take the news with you to Australia? 193 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,600 Look what I brought back from England, 194 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,320 this amazing piece of information, that I still don't understand. 195 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:12,520 - NOEL: - I'm trying to work out a face that I can do that would be 196 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,400 as if I did understand that. 197 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,080 Were you good at maths at school, Noel? 198 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,200 - No, terrible. - Why do you think that is? 199 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,560 Cos I wasn't good at it either. 200 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,960 It didn't make sense to me. 201 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,160 You know that whole thing, a minus and a minus is a plus, 202 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,640 you know this is a thing? 203 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,480 So I used to say, "I don't have four sheep 204 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,040 "and you DON'T give me four sheep, 205 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,920 "how is it I've got eight sheep suddenly running around?" 206 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,000 APPLAUSE 207 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,640 How have you got eight sheep 208 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,240 - and who on earth put them into alphabetical order? - Yes! 209 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,200 LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH 210 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,120 What about you, Colin? Did you do well at school? 211 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,040 - Well, I was bullied at school. - Oh! - Yes. - Everybody. 212 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,800 - AUDIENCE: - Aww. 213 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,680 A kid stole my lunch and gave me a wedgie 214 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:01,400 and then I decided to give up teaching, so... 215 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,560 APPLAUSE 216 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,480 I like that. My very last school report, 217 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,160 you're supposed to get a nice one at the end 218 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,000 to send you off into the world and it just said, 219 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,160 "Sandra has a tendency to overdramatise." 220 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,960 Let's have a look back at the ones we have left in our number cloud. 221 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,480 142,857. 222 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,520 If I tell you it's a cyclic number, does that mean anything to you? 223 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,600 - No, is it to do with bicycles? - Oh, I like that. 224 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,200 "How many bicycles in Paris?" that kind of thing. 225 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,720 No. So, if you take this number 226 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:39,080 and you multiply it by any number between one and six, 227 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,800 the answer will always be an anagram of the original number. 228 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,320 - AUDIENCE: - Ooh. - So, it will just keep all those numbers. 229 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,280 Look there, times two, times three, times four. 230 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,760 - Good noise! - Yeah. - "Ooh. 231 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,440 "We don't understand, but we're going to make a noise." 232 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,160 This is the beginnings of subjugation. 233 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,680 This number is an anagram of the other numbers. 234 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,000 "Ooh, numbers." 235 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,800 When you get to the magic number seven, 236 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,360 you can see it doesn't work any more. It only works from one to six. 237 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,840 - Extraordinary. - Let's have a look at the number 43. 238 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,960 Anybody know about the number 43? 239 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,360 What I say my age is. 240 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,280 - Just joking. - Are you older or younger? 241 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,800 - I'm older, yes. - See, I was being polite. - Yes, thank you. 242 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,440 Boys don't mind about their age, do they? 243 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,400 - Do boys mind about their age? - They pretend that they... 244 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,720 - You're shaking your head. - I don't mind about my age. 245 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,360 - I don't mind about mine. - I'm 38 and proud. 246 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,880 - Nothing wrong with that. - I'd no idea. A year older than me. 247 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,040 LAUGHTER 248 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,680 The 43 goes to Friern Barnet. 249 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,640 - Does it? - Yep. - It's a bus? - It's a bus. - To you it's a bus number. 250 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,560 It's a Frobenius number. I'm not helping, am I? 251 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,240 - No. - They didn't even give you an "Ooh". 252 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,320 I'm going to explain it in terms of McDonald's, OK? 253 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,560 So, this is a mathematical problem posed by a German 254 00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,360 called Ferdinand Frobenius in the early 20th century. 255 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,760 Let's say it's Chicken McNuggets. 256 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,520 They are only sold in multiples of six, nine and 20. 257 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:12,800 And 43 is the largest number of McNuggets it's impossible to buy. 258 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:17,000 You could get 41, because you could have 20 and nine and six and six. 259 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,080 You could have 42 because you could have four lots of nine and a six. 260 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,240 You could have 44, because you could have four lots of six and a 20. 261 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,480 You cannot buy 43 McNuggets. 262 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,240 You'd have to throw some away. 263 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,760 Not even if you know Ronald McDonald? 264 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,320 No. 265 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:42,000 Now for question number two which is aptly about number twos. 266 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,720 What can we do about the international poo shortage? 267 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,560 - # Three, two, one. # - Yes, Sarah. 268 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,400 - We could all get IBS. - Oh. 269 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,680 I hadn't even thought of that. 270 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,120 - That man in the picture's very pleased with his. - Yeah. 271 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,160 He's going to need some cream on after that, I reckon. 272 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,760 Too much or too little poo? 273 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:03,840 Too little. 274 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,200 - Is it animal as opposed to human, though? - Yes, it is. 275 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,640 - So, why might that be a problem? - Fertilisation. - Farmers. 276 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,120 - It is fertilisation, it is. - Yeah. 277 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,400 - It isn't so much farmers but it is fertilisation. - Right. 278 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,120 So, the death of lots of the Earth's large animals, 279 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,960 it's had a knock-on effect on the smaller species 280 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,400 due to a worldwide lack of excrement 281 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,560 and it is really extraordinary because the natural fertilisation 282 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,000 which you would find on land with animal faeces, 283 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,840 it is dropped to 8% of what it was at the end of the last ice age. 284 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,720 - They're just not... COLIN: - So, it's just animal number twos? 285 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,600 - Yeah. - So we can't do our bit? We... - Well, I don't... 286 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,560 No. 287 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,880 It's kind of you to offer but I don't know about Australia 288 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,600 but they have laws here and... 289 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,280 APPLAUSE 290 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,480 And I thought you were going to be different. 291 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,400 Oh, I am different but you haven't looked closely enough. 292 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,800 So, we need animal poo and in the oceans it's even worse. 293 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,320 So, faecal nutrients in the ocean are estimated at only 5% 294 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:03,640 of what they were historically. 295 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,200 If you think there's been a decline in the number of whales 296 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,640 and it was always thought that would cause the number of krill 297 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,960 to increase because, of course, 298 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,720 that krill is the very thing that they eat, 299 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,240 that hasn't materialised because the poo from the whales 300 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,480 that fertilises the plants that the krill eats 301 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,360 is no longer there in the quantities that it was. 302 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,240 And it's called trophic cascade, it's the process by which 303 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,400 a top predator helps the rest of the ecosystem. 304 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,880 92% less poo than there was at the end of the ice age? 305 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,200 Yeah, on the land. 306 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,560 - And 95% in the ocean. - Wow. 307 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,760 Now, here's a really crap link. 308 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,080 I'm making some of this up as I go along. 309 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,920 What do these things have in common? 310 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,800 - So, we've got some die. - Die. 311 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,000 Clearly an English church 312 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,160 cos there's something half-timbered about it. 313 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,880 - A lava lamp, some neon and... - Eminem. - ..Eminem. - Eminem. 314 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,880 So, what have they got in common? 315 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,480 It's the odd one out. It is an odd one out round? 316 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,120 It's quite a random thing. 317 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,000 Is it anything to do with where they originated or something like that? 318 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,120 - No, they use... - Did you say the word random? 319 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,200 - Is it to do with random. - Is it because they're random? 320 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,120 They're all ways of generating random numbers. 321 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,960 So the easiest one is the tossing of the dice, 322 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,320 that's probably one of the oldest ways of creating random numbers. 323 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,040 People have been doing it forever. 324 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,160 Assuming the dice is not loaded in any way 325 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,040 then you will get a random number. 326 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,200 Computers can't actually generate random numbers, 327 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,240 they do everything by a pattern. It's sort of a pseudorandom thing. 328 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,280 Say you used a computer to pick lottery numbers, 329 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,160 if you knew the pattern, you'd be able to cheat. 330 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,640 They don't actually do it. 331 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,440 But you need tables of random numbers, 332 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,960 they're very useful in statistics 333 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,960 but you can't roll tens of thousands of dice, 334 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,160 that would be ridiculous. 335 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,880 The very first table which was in 1927 was created by taking 336 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,960 the middle digits from the area measurements 337 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,720 of 41,600 English churches. 338 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,680 Then there was a company called Lavarand in 1996 339 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,440 and they took pictures of lava lamps 340 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,840 and they extracted the data from those photos 341 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,720 and they used that to generate random numbers. 342 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,560 So all the things that we were looking at 343 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,720 were to do with the generation of random numbers. 344 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,200 And the rapper, there was a guy at Florida State University, 345 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,960 George Marsaglia, 346 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,440 and he created a list of 4.8 billion randomly produced noughts and ones 347 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,600 by taking a number of rap songs and turning them into digital files. 348 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,520 So, these are all... I know. I mean, that he's got the time. 349 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,600 Yes. 350 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,680 Why isn't the dice just enough for these people? 351 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,760 Presumably because you need millions of numbers 352 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,120 rather than just, "Ooh, it's a six." 353 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,280 - It's not all about board games, I've just realised. - No. 354 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,360 In the past, they used to use the random selection 355 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,160 as a way of making political appointments. 356 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,800 They used to use something called sortition and what it is, 357 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,520 it's random selection, which I quite like. 358 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,240 People have just suggested it for the House of Lords in this country. 359 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,440 It might be you or it might be a member of the audience 360 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,120 - or it might be you. - That's the old Plato thing, isn't it? - Yeah. 361 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,200 Chosen against his will because he was the best candidate. 362 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,080 - Yeah. - The philosopher king. 363 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,600 Here it would be probably David Beckham or someone. 364 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,120 I suppose we use it a bit, we use it for jury service, don't we? 365 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,280 And the Venetians, for years and years and years, 366 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,600 they used drawing of lots to select the Doge. 367 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,640 There were nine stages of drawing lots, 368 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:07,360 fantastically complicated system but carried on for about 500 years 369 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:11,280 and it was semi-random but the idea was that it helped people through 370 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,920 who are not just the people with money 371 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,760 or people who were good at demagoguery or that kind of thing. 372 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:19,080 So, anyway, let's go forth and multiply with our fourth question. 373 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,920 How did the Danish government convince its citizens to multiply? 374 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,040 This is one of my Randy Scandies. 375 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,240 You mean... 376 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,200 - Actually? - I do mean that. 377 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,080 Was it financial incentives? 378 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,560 - There were incentives. - We all need incentives anyway, don't we? 379 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,200 What, to procreate? 380 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,880 Just, you know, the bit before that, as well. 381 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,880 Right. I'm fine, but OK. 382 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,840 Incentivise me. 383 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,080 I can narrow it down. It's actually a place called Thisted, 384 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,560 which is in Jutland, so the mainland, the bit that sticks out from Germany. 385 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,600 What happened? 2015, the local authorities were going to close down 386 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,480 the local school and everybody 387 00:17:56,480 --> 00:18:00,040 was very upset in the local area so they struck a deal that the people 388 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:04,000 would procreate as much as possible if they kept the school 389 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,960 and the leisure facilities open. 390 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,320 Nothing says "I'm bringing sexy back" like a council memo. 391 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,520 Did they all do it? Did they all have to have kids? 392 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,920 Well, as many as possible. They were encouraged to have kids. 393 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,920 I have to say, it's a lovely place, Thisted. 394 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,880 Not a lot to do. Number three on their own website of things to do 395 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,880 in the area is visit the candle shop. 396 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,120 Sexy candles for around the bath. 397 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:34,600 There's been lots of times before, Britain has had its own panics 398 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,520 about falling populations because of the war and contraception and so on. 399 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,600 So, in 1921, the Daily Express 400 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,840 ran a competition to find Britain's largest family. 401 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,520 The News of the World offered a free tea tray 402 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,560 to any mother who gave birth to her tenth child. 403 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,680 Don't want your bloody tea tray, I'll take your head off with it. 404 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,080 And the French still give medals for having large families. 405 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,280 That's still a thing. The Medaille de la Famille Francaise. 406 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,280 How many kids for bronze? What do you reckon? 407 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,280 - Six. - Four to five. Silver, six to seven. 408 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,480 Gold, eight plus. 409 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,840 I thought you said 45, for a second there. 410 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,440 There is so much wrong with that picture, I can't begin. 411 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:20,640 - Go on. - Why are they creating a human bench for their two children? 412 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,360 - That is worrying. - Have they glued their heads together? 413 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:28,360 Maybe they're ventriloquists and that's how they hold their toy. 414 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,360 Just used to holding people like that. 415 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,400 Now, how many great nights out can you have in a single week in Wales? 416 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,200 - Seven. - Seven. - It's not seven. 417 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,440 - Six. - Eight. 418 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,440 Eight. The Welsh word for a week "wythnos" 419 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,160 translates as eight nights. 420 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,120 If you start counting a week on a Sunday night 421 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,560 and you finish on a Sunday night, which is how they used to do it, 422 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,240 - that's eight nights. - But then that's wrong. 423 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,840 - Did nobody put them straight? - It's wrong to us now. 424 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,280 I mean, lots of things have changed. 425 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,360 So, in old English, the day used to begin at sunset 426 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,600 so what was Wednesday night to an Anglo-Saxon 427 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,440 would be Tuesday night to us now, so that's changed. 428 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,320 And in some Muslim countries, for example, 429 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,440 where Friday is the holy day, you have a Friday, Saturday weekend, 430 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,720 the working week then starts on a Sunday. 431 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,440 Where can you get your hair done on a Sunday three in the afternoon? 432 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,000 That's a very good point. 433 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,320 And whose diary is that? 434 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,400 Because I'm having lunch with them. 435 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,360 - They can drive, that's nice. - I know. 436 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,880 Well, I think if they had any manners, 437 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,320 - they'd get their hair done before they had lunch with you. - Yes. 438 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,320 Or it means that two days after lunch with Sandi, 439 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,040 you better get your hair done. 440 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,560 - NOEL: - She's a messy eater. 441 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,560 Anybody know what half of a fortnight is? 442 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,880 Imagine Jane Austen, for example. Jane Austen? 443 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,360 I'm not familiar with Jane Austen. 444 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:53,600 It's a sennight. 445 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,600 There's a lovely bit in Pride And Prejudice 446 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,120 where Mr Collins says he will trespass on your hospitality 447 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,760 from Monday, November 18th to the Saturday sennight following. 448 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,000 Do people still talk like that? 449 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,040 We should bring those things back, don't you think? 450 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,920 Mind you, wouldn't your heart fill with horror 451 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,480 if somebody's coming to stay for a sennight? 452 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,240 - How long is that again? - Seven nights. 453 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,880 How long are you staying for? 454 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,080 I'm staying four nights which, traditionally, 455 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,360 it should only be three nights, something about fish or something? 456 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,360 - You shouldn't stay... - It's Dickens, I think. 457 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,760 He said that fish and overnight guests are exactly the same, 458 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,920 - they both go off after three days. - Yes. 459 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,280 Originally he was referring to Hans Christian Andersen, 460 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,720 who apparently was staying with him 461 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,880 and was a truly terrible house guest. 462 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,920 What if you put your guest in the fridge? 463 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,320 Oh! 464 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,040 - Or freezer, even. - Yes, that's... - Could last three months, then, 465 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,200 or, you know, ten years, like we all do. 466 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,880 Eight nights on the town in Wales makes for a long, long week. 467 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,040 Now, here's something nice. 468 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,200 Cake. You've each got a cake and a knife. 469 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,160 And here is the challenge. 470 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,600 I want you to cut two pieces of exactly equal size. 471 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,840 Now, you can use three cuts to do it, but in such a way 472 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,960 that the cake is still moist for you to have some more tomorrow. 473 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,120 What would be the best way of cutting it? 474 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,600 Could the cake stay moist in my tummy? 475 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,520 - Because then you just half it. - Then you could just half it. No. 476 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,640 So, the idea is that there is cake for tomorrow. 477 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,160 So, we're going to start with Alan and Colin first. 478 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:26,400 - What is your...? - Well, my theory is that we cut through the middle. 479 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,800 - OK. - This is going to be difficult, but we're going to do it. 480 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,240 - Right. - And then, we take the top off. 481 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,320 - OK. - Yes. 482 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,320 And we eat the bottom bit. 483 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,680 You're going to eat the whole of the bottom bit? 484 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,400 But that's quite a large piece of cake, isn't it? 485 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,040 Yeah, yeah. 486 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,680 We're two men in our 30s, we love cake. 487 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,840 Take the top of. Colin will remove the bottom of the cake. 488 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,800 Then put the top back down again. 489 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,840 That's moist for tomorrow and then we cut this... place that there, 490 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,760 we cut completely in half, like that. 491 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,720 - Two equal pieces. - Wow, that's very good. 492 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,480 APPLAUSE 493 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:18,240 Do you think anybody who likes the filling is going to be mildly disappointed? 494 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:21,640 So, let's go over to... 495 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,960 - I've got an idea. - No, do it with the cake! 496 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,360 - I'm just going to draw it first. - Oh, fine. - Is that OK? 497 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:28,560 - Yes, darling, you do what you like. - Yeah. 498 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,000 LAUGHTER 499 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:35,400 What if we cut it like, in a way that we could...back together? 500 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,200 We cut like a bit out of here and a bit out of here 501 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,720 and then just smush... 502 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,720 Yeah, just... 503 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,280 That would be better, wouldn't it? 504 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,080 - Do you want to do it? - That was a shambles, what they did. 505 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,840 - The smushing doesn't sound good. - I reckon we have to do this first. 506 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,960 - Do you think? - Yeah, go on. - COLIN: - That's good. 507 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,320 - AUDIENCE: - Oh! - NOEL: - No? 508 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,160 Shush now. Shush, shush, shush now. 509 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,440 The audience are trying to be helpful, but are not. 510 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,160 - Well, they are. They are being helpful. - OK. Go for it, Sarah. 511 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,400 OK. So... 512 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,880 - Oh, it's tough. - Delicious is what you're looking for. 513 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,160 LAUGHTER 514 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,280 - And then, that. - You've just drawn Pac-Man. 515 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,760 That doesn't make any sense. 516 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,880 So, take out your pieces. 517 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,400 These are our pieces. 518 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,960 Noel, were you calling US a shambles? 519 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,680 Is that what you were saying? There you go. 520 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,840 APPLAUSE 521 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,280 So, there is a mathematical way of doing it. 522 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,160 There was a man called Francis Galton. An extraordinary fellow. 523 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,280 He was an explorer and he was the very first person to come up with the idea 524 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,080 of a weather map and he was also slightly obsessed with the idea 525 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,160 of sharing a Christmas cake with his wife in an even manner. 526 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,520 So, what he did was he wrote a long treaties on the subject, 527 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,480 which he sent to Nature magazine. 528 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,760 You were absolutely heading in the right direction. 529 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,240 What you do is you cut it right down the middle like this 530 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,560 and then you pull out the entire centre piece. 531 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,280 - Ah, that was it! - That's only two cuts though. 532 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,240 Wait, I haven't finished. You pull out the whole thing like this 533 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:09,320 and then you cut that one in half, so then you have two pieces. 534 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,560 - We were nearly there. - You were very nearly there. 535 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,520 You have two pieces of cake like that and then you simply push 536 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,240 the cake back together. 537 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,840 Looks very similar to ours. 538 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,360 - Are you writing that down now, Noel? - Yeah, I am. - Yeah. 539 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:29,320 So, only if there's two people though. I mean, what if...? 540 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,280 - There's usually 19. - Then usually the whole cake gets eaten, I think. 541 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,160 It's not really a problem. 542 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,520 The same with two with me, to be honest. 543 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,480 There's actually a branch of mathematics called fair cake-cutting 544 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,560 which is about optimising the division of resources. 545 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,920 In Chinese economics, they talk about cake theory 546 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,440 and it's slightly different because the debate is whether 547 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,200 it's more important to divide the cake fairly 548 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,160 or to bake a bigger cake. 549 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,080 So, that's how you can halve your cake and eat it. 550 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,120 But now to a question about wrong numbers. 551 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:06,480 Where's the worst place in the world for nuisance calls? 552 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,200 LAUGHTER 553 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,200 That is a great picture. 554 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,480 Do you not think you thought more carefully about making 555 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,040 a phone call when you had to dial it one number at a time? 556 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,040 If you had to dial someone who had lots of eights and nines in it, 557 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,960 - sometimes you wouldn't bother. - You just couldn't be arsed. 558 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,120 I actually did that, I bought a retro phone 559 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,560 - because I liked the look of it. - Yeah. - And after about a week, 560 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,280 - I went, "Oh, this is killing me." - Yeah. 561 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,160 It's so boring. 562 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,240 When I was a child, we had a holiday home in the country in Denmark 563 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,080 - and there were so few... - Ooh! - Yes. 564 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,520 There were so few telephones that our number was seven. 565 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:42,800 Really? 566 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,360 A woman used to put the calls through and then listen in 567 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,200 and you knew that. 568 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,560 You could hear her breathing. 569 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,160 So did you ever get people ringing up and then just go, 570 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,040 "I think you've got the wrong number"? 571 00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,320 - Yes. "You want number nine." - "I wanted six." - Yes. - "I wanted six." 572 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:01,440 Easily done. 573 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,320 Worst place in the world for nuisance calls. 574 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,480 - What do you reckon? - I know what that call is, 575 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,440 someone's saying there's a poo shortage, 576 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,400 you haven't got anything in your nappy, have you? 577 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,600 - COLIN: - I can help out. Constantly. 578 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,840 Just working on it now. 579 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,880 Wouldn't it be the country with the most people in? 580 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,640 No, ironically, the place with the fewest telephones for a short while. 581 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,840 So, it's the Pacific island of Niue. 582 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,600 It looks fab, doesn't it? 583 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,880 Niue. So, in the early '90s, people were constantly woken up 584 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,880 by heavy breathers because the country was the home of an extremely 585 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,800 lucrative sex line business and people often used 586 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,160 to dial the wrong number. 587 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,920 There were only 387 telephones on the island and the phone numbers 588 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,400 only had four digits so people were often misdialling. 589 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,960 So, this is people ringing the wrong number and expecting a sex line? 590 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,040 - Yes. - So, if they're already heavy breathing, they've started already. 591 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,440 I didn't know this. 592 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,400 Maybe it was just a helpline for asthma, people with asthma. 593 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,720 Nothing sexual. That guy's trying to ring nine people at the same time. 594 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,400 That's not going to work. 595 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,520 I once picked up the phone and somebody said, 596 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:10,880 "You're supposed to be a fax!" 597 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,920 And you think, "I have no idea what to say back to them." 598 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,160 - Beep. - Yeah. 599 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,680 So they had a terrible time because people were constantly getting wrong 600 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,440 numbers and Belgium was another country that ran sex lines 601 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,560 for quite a while. When they were banned, 602 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,120 this is the most brilliant thing, they started a new thing, 603 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:30,640 which was cookery lines with recipes read 604 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,640 in the most sexual way possible. 605 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,560 - They had to read out sexy recipes. - What's a sexy recipe? 606 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,240 - Toad in the hole. - Toad... 607 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,200 - Toad in the hole! - Toad in the hole. 608 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,840 I can't think of anything more exciting, I think. 609 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,720 I quite fancy a toad in the hole. 610 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,880 Last time I had that, I had a football under my arm 611 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,440 and a catapult in my pocket. 612 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:55,720 Two weeks ago. 613 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,000 You used to be able to get toad in the hole followed by spotted dick. 614 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,280 Yeah. 615 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,600 - There's a recipe you could read out. - Yeah. 616 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:05,640 So, here's the thing. 617 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,960 We're going to make our own nuisance call this evening. 618 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,960 There is a number that anybody can ring in Sweden 619 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,760 and it's a scheme set up by the country's tourism authority 620 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,600 to celebrate 250 years of free speech in Sweden 621 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,080 and it's called Ring a Random Swede, OK? 622 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:24,840 It's genuinely a random thing. 623 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,440 We've no idea who we're going to get. 624 00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,720 We've already pre-selected a question from a member 625 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,680 of the audience and the question is why do you eat rotten fish? 626 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,560 Does anybody speak Swedish? 627 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,960 Here's the marvellous thing about Scandinavians, 628 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,880 - their English is really coming along. - OK. 629 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,280 So, the marvellous sound department are going to put the call through 630 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:55,520 now and obviously we'll have to explain what it is we're doing to this person. 631 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:56,920 PHONE DIALS 632 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,040 This whole thing's making me very anxious, I don't know why. 633 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,880 Is it? Just talking to somebody you don't know? 634 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,480 Because I think if somebody rang me randomly, I'd be so pissed off. 635 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,880 - I know, but people have signed up for it. - Oh, they want it. 636 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,720 They've signed up to be Random Swede. 637 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,720 It's not like you just... MAN SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE 638 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,720 - Hello. - Hello. - Hi, my name is Sandi, I'm ringing from London. 639 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,760 Who's that? 640 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:47,200 Robin. Hi. You're my Random Swede that I'm ringing. 641 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,960 Is it your first phone call from an English person? 642 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,400 Oh! 643 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,760 Well, this is kind of exciting, Robin, because I'm ringing you 644 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,880 from a live television studio in London. 645 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,320 You're on the BBC right now, is that OK? 646 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,200 OK. I tell you what, we'll have a round of applause from our audience. 647 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,840 Maybe you can hear that. 648 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,360 APPLAUSE 649 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,160 So, what do you do, Robin? 650 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,120 Are you actually in the shop? 651 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,880 OK. So, we have a question from our audience. 652 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,080 You may be buying this now, what do I know? 653 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,000 Why do Swedish people eat rotten fish is the question 654 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,520 we want to ask you. 655 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,480 So, what are you going to buy, Robin, for your dinner? 656 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,640 - Nice, sounds nice. - Parmesan, that sounds lovely. 657 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,920 - (Very good English.) - Yes, very good English. 658 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,360 Can you ask him how he's going to divide the chicken? 659 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,560 Yeah. 660 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,240 - And to keep it moist the next... - Yeah. 661 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:11,920 So here's the thing, Robin... 662 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,560 ROBIN LAUGHS 663 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,560 Are you all right if we put this on the BBC? 664 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,160 OK. 665 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,200 On BBC Two. It's called QI, do you know QI? 666 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,000 No. 667 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,720 You have your own version in Sweden of QI. 668 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,720 - Intresseklubben. - Could you ask him...? - Intresseklubben. 669 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:37,240 - Could you ask him what time should he expect us for dinner? - Yes, so... 670 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,480 The whole audience wants to come for dinner. 671 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,840 It was lovely to speak to you, Robin. 672 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,720 APPLAUSE 673 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,720 - His English was pretty good. - That English, coming along, wasn't it? 674 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,040 Yeah, coming along. 675 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,720 You'll never meet an unfriendly Swede, that's my view. 676 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,280 No, darling, that's because they're usually drunk. 677 00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,640 LAUGHTER 678 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:00,920 It's a Danish-Swedish thing. 679 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,320 OK, new question. 680 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,600 How does it feel to be a 9-ender? 681 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,800 - Anybody know? - If you've lost a finger? 682 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:09,560 Oh! It's not that. 683 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,080 It's about our ages. 684 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,280 Oh, is it if you're sort of 19, 29, 39? 685 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,960 Yes, it's exactly that. 686 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,360 They did a study in 2014, 687 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,400 Adam Alter and Hal E Hershfield of New York University, 688 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,040 and people who have nine at the end of their age 689 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,840 are more likely to be looking for purpose in their lives. 690 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,680 I think the idea is that we see a new decade 691 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,400 - as a sort of watershed moment. - A milestone. 692 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:30,760 - A milestone, exactly right. - Yes. 693 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,760 So, more likely to be registered on dating sites 694 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,680 looking for extramarital affairs, for example. 695 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,680 More likely to run a marathon 696 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,280 or commit suicide. 697 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,760 I don't think that's an either or, I don't think that's... 698 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,480 And also to do better in marathons cos they're better motivated. 699 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,840 And lots of examples, 700 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,960 Buddha renounced all his possessions when he was 29, 701 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,960 Agatha Christie published her first book at 29, 702 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,640 Alexander Graham Bell transmitted his first sentence by telephone 703 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,520 at 29, so there are lots and lots of examples. 704 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,800 - I started doing stand-up at 29. - Did you? - Yeah, yeah. 705 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:02,520 Peter Schmeichel won his first Premiership winner's medal at 29 706 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,640 and this year, his son Kasper 707 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,680 has won his first Premiership medal at 29. 708 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,040 - Wow, that's kind of spooky. AUDIENCE: - Ooh. 709 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,640 APPLAUSE 710 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,360 - That is kind of spooky. - And they're both goalkeepers. 711 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,760 And they're both Danish. 712 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,880 Yes, well, there's a Randy Scandi. 713 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,560 - I've come up with a Randy Scandi! - Yeah. 714 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,280 Right, let's play How Many People In The Audience... 715 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,280 Each of my panellists has got a coloured card 716 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,960 and the audience also has coloured cards 717 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,000 and I'm going to get them to stand up and I want you to 718 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,360 tell me which item on this list relates 719 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,280 to the number of people who are standing. 720 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,880 We're going to start with Colin, what colour is your card? 721 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:50,040 - Blue. - So, could all the blue card people stand up, please? 722 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:51,520 What do you reckon, Colin? 723 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,720 - How many people do you think that is? - Erm... 724 00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:58,040 It's about 182. 725 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:02,160 - OK. - It's 230 people. 726 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,720 It took 230 people to do one of these five things. 727 00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:08,880 Selfie fatalities in 2014. 728 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,240 It is not. It is something a little bit more substantial. 729 00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:15,360 - Built the Eiffel Tower. - Built the Eiffel Tower is absolutely right. 730 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,440 Built by 230 people in two years. 731 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,080 Sit back down again and we will come to Sarah. 732 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:23,480 What colour is your card? 733 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,840 - I have red. - So, could I have the red cards standing, please? 734 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,680 How many do you think that might be? 735 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,680 - 100, maybe. - 69. 736 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:35,200 So, have a look at the list, what do you reckon? 737 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,000 I think maybe the selfie fatalities. 738 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,520 You keep going for that one. It isn't that. 739 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:43,440 It's the world record number of children born to a single mother. 740 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,240 No way. 741 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,120 - What? - All of you are now related. 742 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,080 It's a woman called Valentina Vassilyev. 743 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,840 She had 16 pairs of twins, 744 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,640 she had seven sets of triplets 745 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:59,640 and four sets of quadruplets in 40 years, between 1725 and 1765. 746 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,960 In total, 27 births. 747 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,080 Her husband, Feodor Vassilyev, 748 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:08,160 went on to have a further 18 children with his second wife. 749 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,360 So, he left her?! After all of those kids! 750 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,360 I think she died. I think she died. 751 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,280 It's unbelievable, isn't it? 752 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,560 But the way she was having children 753 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:22,000 was someone was unscrewing her and they were just getting out... 754 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,920 But this is a wrong that ought to be righted. 755 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,960 The Guinness Book of Records describes Valentina 756 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,320 as the wife of Feodor without mentioning her own name 757 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,640 and she deserves absolutely her own name as credit. 758 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:34,120 - Oh, boo! - Valentina, she was called. - Do you know how young she started? 759 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:35,920 Well, over 40 years she had the children... 760 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,080 - Oh, my God. - ..so must've started very young indeed. 761 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,480 - She was four. - Yes. 762 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,760 Let's have a look at yours, Noel. What colour is your card? 763 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:47,400 White. Let's have all the white cards stand. 764 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,840 How many people do you reckon that is? 765 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,600 - 50? - 49, almost exactly right. 766 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:56,240 - What does that represent? COLIN: - (Selfie fatalities.) 767 00:36:56,240 --> 00:37:00,160 Everybody's gone for the selfie fatalities, what do you reckon? 768 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,480 QI contestants. 769 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,320 You should have gone for the selfie fatalities. 770 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:12,800 That number of people, very sadly, in 2014, died taking a selfie. 771 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,080 16 came from a fall, four from a gunshot, one from an animal, 772 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,800 I don't know what the story is, I've no idea. 773 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,840 The most common place apparently to die taking a selfie is in India. 774 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,840 Followed by Russia. 775 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,560 I tell you what, Alan, why don't you get the whole audience to stand up? 776 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,440 Everyone, please rise. 777 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,480 There we are. AUDIENCE RISES NOISILY 778 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,240 - So, that's the entire audience. - Oh, I've heard that noise before. 779 00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:41,160 Turn your back for two seconds. 780 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,240 625 people is the QI audience. 781 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:47,600 I can tell you it represents people who died in a certain way. 782 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:52,040 They didn't die together. It was 625 individual incidents. 783 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,800 - Domestic accidents? - It's an accident in the home. 784 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,680 Coming to panel shows? 785 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,040 The word coming is going to be most... 786 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,760 No. No! 787 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,840 - Getting jiggy? - It's the number of people in 2014 788 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,040 who died from autoerotic asphyxiation. 789 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,760 Sit down, you dirty bastards! 790 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:22,200 Sorry, I'm confused. I thought for a moment you were all autoerotics. 791 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,640 That's how to explain the dangers of autoerotic asphyxiation 792 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,440 using our studio audience. 793 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:32,000 All of which talk of hard sums brings us to the insoluble equation 794 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:36,280 that is general ignorance. So, fingers on buzzers, please. 795 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:41,080 In terms of numbers, which is the most common vertebrate in the world? 796 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,160 # ABC. # 797 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,520 - Alan. - Humans. 798 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,040 KLAXON 799 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:47,760 SLIGHT CHEERING 800 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,720 We never knew you liked the klaxon! 801 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,400 We'll get some more. We'll get some more. 802 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:53,760 Seven billion humans. 803 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,440 I can tell you already there are more chickens than there are... 804 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,280 # ABC. # 805 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,400 - Chickens. - Chickens, that should do it. 806 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,560 KLAXON 807 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:11,800 # Three, two, one. # 808 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,840 - It's not rats? - No. 809 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:15,480 KLAXON 810 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,320 It's not rats. 811 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,800 - NOEL: - I have got it. - Yes. 812 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,560 People who died of auto asphyxiation. 813 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,960 - It's a fish. - Fish, fish! 814 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,320 It's a fish called the Bristlemouth and it's tiny. 815 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,280 It is smaller than your finger but if it opens its mouth up wide 816 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,520 it's got these incredible needle-like teeth. 817 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:38,320 It's an amazing fish. It glows and it eats even smaller creatures, 818 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,720 which you can see there, called copepods, but they are not vertebrates. 819 00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:44,840 But this is the largest number of vertebrates in the world. 820 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,720 They live in the sea between half a mile and three miles down and until 821 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:51,560 the 21st-century, so they got the very fine dredging nets, 822 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,800 we didn't really know how many there were. 823 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,320 The estimate now is that there are as many as a dozen 824 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,360 - per square metre of ocean surface. - Whoa. 825 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,720 And they disguise themselves as diagrams. 826 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:04,320 They do. 827 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,040 Protandrous, do you know what that means? 828 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,480 - No. - They're protandrous. They... 829 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,440 Like Chrissie Hynde? No. 830 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,480 - I don't know about that. They're male first hermaphrodites. - Wow. 831 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,760 The most common animal in the world is an invertebrate. 832 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,280 It's the nematode worm. 833 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:22,040 Four out of five of all animals is a nematode worm. 834 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,720 Anything that comes at you like that without any eyes... 835 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,440 That's why some of us made the life choices we did. 836 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 837 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:42,000 What colour bricks did they build Number 10 with? 838 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,480 - Oh, red ones, surely. They're dirty. - NOEL: - White. 839 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,120 Black. 840 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,240 KLAXON 841 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:50,680 No. Yellow. 842 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,400 There was lots and lots of pollution and in fact when it was cleaned off 843 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,000 in the '50s and '60s, they thought, "Oh, we better paint it black 844 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,720 - "cos everyone's expecting it to be black." - Oh, no, really? 845 00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:01,960 And can you see the zero on the ten is slightly askew? 846 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,280 It's an homage to old number which was always very slightly askew. 847 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,760 The White House is also made with yellow bricks 848 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,040 so that is a curious thing, 849 00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,200 they are in fact sandstone underneath all that white paint. 850 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,160 They may not look it but the White House 851 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,960 and the front of Number 10 Downing Street 852 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,200 are both a similar shade of yellow. 853 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,560 The word noon comes from the word nun, which meant nine, 854 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,760 so with that in mind, if you had to meet a ninth-century nun 855 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:29,120 at noon, what time would you noodle off to the nunnery? 856 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,680 Noon means nun, which came from nine, 857 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,000 you're meeting the nun at nine. 858 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,600 Nun, what time would you meet if you were meeting the nun at noon? 859 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,000 12? 860 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000 KLAXON 861 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,680 - Nine. - Yeah. No. 862 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,360 KLAXON 863 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,840 There isn't a nun. 864 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,720 KLAXON 865 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,720 - Anyone else want to have a go? - Just call them, instead. 866 00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:03,360 Until the mid-12th century, 867 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,640 the word noon meant three o'clock in the afternoon. 868 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,040 Ah, bollocks. 869 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:13,560 You were so winning, as well. You just destroyed your score. 870 00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,800 It goes back to old Christian prayer times, 871 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,360 so it used to be that the day began at 6am, 872 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,400 so that was known as the prime or the first hour 873 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,360 and then you have terces, so the third hour, that would be 9am today. 874 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:27,080 - Nonny's the ninth hour. - That guy in the orange has got my haircut. 875 00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,480 He's praying for a new one. 876 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:35,280 "Please, I don't want to be in Cabaret any more!" 877 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,160 Until the Middle Ages, noon was 3pm and all this talk of time makes me 878 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:44,480 realise it must be time for the scores. 879 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,680 In last place with -41 is Alan. 880 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,920 APPLAUSE 881 00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,120 It should be Sarah next, but we're going to skip over that 882 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,960 and we're going to put in third place Colin, with -9. 883 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,080 - Thank you. - APPLAUSE 884 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,000 Thank you. And in second place, Noel, with one point! 885 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,360 APPLAUSE 886 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,040 So, Sarah actually got -26, but I was supposed to do a gig for Sarah 887 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:13,080 and I let her down by becoming the new host of QI and I couldn't do it, 888 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,600 so this week's winner, to make up for it, is Sarah Millican! 889 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,280 APPLAUSE 890 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,280 That's all from Sarah, Noel, Colin, 891 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:32,320 Alan and me. And I leave you with this number-related, 892 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,840 Neolithic newspaper nugget from the Eastern Evening News. 893 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:40,080 When two men stole six sheep from a farm at Mumford, 894 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,400 they found that they could only get five of them into the back of their van. 895 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,640 So, the other one had to sit in the cab between the two men. 896 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,680 But the men had to pass through Watton on their way home. 897 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,160 Fearing that the sheep sitting in the cab might be conspicuous, 898 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,880 they disguised it by putting a trilby hat on its head. 899 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,080 Goodnight.