1 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,960 APPLAUSE How lovely. 2 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,280 How very nice. 3 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,040 Hello! 4 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:38,880 Good evening, and a very warm welcome to the next episode of QI. 5 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,080 Next to me tonight are the next best thing, Ross Noble. 6 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,160 APPLAUSE 7 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,480 Who's next? Lucy Porter. 8 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,680 APPLAUSE 9 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,760 Whatever next? It's Frankie Boyle. 10 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,000 APPLAUSE 11 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,840 And, better luck next time, Alan Davies. 12 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,440 APPLAUSE 13 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,320 Next, let's hear their buzzers. Ross goes... 14 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:13,600 # I wanna get next to you. # 15 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,440 Ooh. Cocktails, half price. 16 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,200 Frankie goes... 17 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:23,440 - # And the next step is love - The next step is love. # 18 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,240 Aww. Lucy goes... 19 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,560 # For 24 years, I've been living next door to Alice. # 20 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,280 - Alice... - And... 21 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,760 Alan goes... 22 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,800 - BELL DINGS - 'Next!' 23 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:46,640 Right, what's the difference between the next big thing and a turkey? 24 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,000 Well, a turkey is sometimes a disaster. 25 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,240 Yes, it's an American show business term for a flop. 26 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,520 - A terrible show. - Yeah. 27 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,600 So, the difference between the next big thing and abject failure. 28 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,640 It can be the length of the first half of the show. 29 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:03,760 By the interval, the next big thing was a turkey. 30 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,320 The worst show in the West End, the shortest show in the West End 31 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,280 where the iron - you know the thing that they to put in in the interval? 32 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,560 It got stuck in the interval and they thought, 33 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:16,360 "Oh, can't be arsed." And they never did the second half. 34 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,360 It got to the interval and even the theatre went, "No." 35 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,920 So, how can we tell? How can we tell that something is going to be 36 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,920 a big thing, or it's going to be a failure? 37 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,160 - Well, we don't know. - Yeah. 38 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,680 Till the curtain goes up and the audience comes in, who knows? 39 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,720 - But maybe you can know... - Well, here's the extraordinary thing. 40 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,800 There are certain people, consumers, 41 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:39,040 who systematically buy products that go on to fail. 42 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,360 And their lack of popular taste is unerringly reliable. 43 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:48,320 And they are called "harbingers of failure." 44 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,360 It doesn't conform to any pattern, age, sex, culture, 45 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,920 anything like that, or the region. 46 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,120 Unless he's the bloke... You know like on cop shows 47 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,840 where they drive through the boxes? 48 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,520 And he keeps getting hit by Starsky and Hutch 49 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:02,400 on a regular basis. 50 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,040 "I'm wearing the hi-viz, love. I'm sick of it." 51 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,160 But they did some research, 52 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,160 the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. 53 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,000 They analysed ten million transactions 54 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,720 at a chain of convenience stores, and what they discovered was, 55 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,160 people who buy the nail polish that fails 56 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,440 are also the people buying the ice cream that fails. 57 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,000 And there's some fantastic products that have been snapped up 58 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,880 by harbingers in the past. Watermelon-flavoured Oreo biscuits. 59 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,960 This is my favourite, there was a range of ready meals 60 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:34,880 made by a toothpaste manufacturer called Colgate's Kitchen Entrees. 61 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,840 - ROSS: - Oh, that, I would've bought that! 62 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,800 Would you have bought that, cleaned your teeth 63 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,800 - while you're eating? - You're eating the spaghetti 64 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,080 and flossing at the same time. That's genius! 65 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,320 But if you can find these people who've got what they call 66 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,640 a "flop affinity", then it's fantastic for market research. 67 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,040 There's a PH Wodehouse story, isn't there? About a producer 68 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,800 who brings his ten-year-old child to every show 69 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,000 and everyone thinks he's a really doting father, 70 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,680 but it's just that he thinks the public's expectations 71 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,880 are the same as a ten-year-old child. 72 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,000 And it helps him judge whether the show is going to be any good or not. 73 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,120 That's how Mork And Mindy got made. 74 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,080 - Because, erm, the guy that did Happy Days... - Yeah? 75 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,360 ..his kid wanted an alien in Happy Days. 76 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,720 And he went, "Oh, yeah, go on, then. Put an alien in it." 77 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,280 So they put Robin Williams in as Mork in Happy Days, 78 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,640 and he was so successful, they did a spin-off series. 79 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:21,920 Biggest thing on telly. 80 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,040 - I'll tell you two things those harbingers have bought. - Yeah. 81 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,720 My book and my last DVD. 82 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,600 APPLAUSE 83 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,520 Well, I've got both those, so I feel terrible now! 84 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,960 90% of all new products fail, 85 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,560 and there is a Museum of Failed Products in Michigan. 86 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,160 It was meant to be a reference library of consumer goods, 87 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,000 but the vast majority are failures, and there's some fantastic things. 88 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,200 This is one of my favourites. 89 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,600 Pre-scrambled eggs in a cardboard tube, 90 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,520 designed to be eaten in the car. 91 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,360 I'll have that! 92 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,840 Breath mints that look like crack cocaine. 93 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:05,600 This is very good. 94 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,080 100% recycled pillow-soft "Shit Be Gone" loo paper. 95 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,280 "Shit be gone!" 96 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,640 You have to do that when you use it. 97 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,800 "Whack Off insect repellent." 98 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,800 We've all done that! 99 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,560 It's a funny way to get rid of insects! 100 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,280 Can I just say, I have got some fabulous information about turkeys 101 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:32,000 which is not totally relevant? But you know when you learn something, 102 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,560 and you just think, "I totally have to share this," OK? 103 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:38,400 So, in the 1950s, they discovered that males would mate 104 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:42,080 with a lifelike model of a female turkey as eagerly 105 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,800 as they would mate with the real thing. So, of course, 106 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,720 they decided to try and find out what was the minimal stimulus 107 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,720 that would get a turkey going, OK? 108 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:56,160 They gradually stripped the model of its tail, its feet and its wings. 109 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,280 This did not deter the male bird in any way. 110 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:04,800 When there was just a head left on a stick, they were still up for it! 111 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,200 That is why my range of turkey sex toys never took off. 112 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,120 They were too lifelike. 113 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,800 Yes, well... 114 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,720 A freshly-severed head on a stick was the most effective, 115 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,160 like, the sexiest thing. 116 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,680 That was followed by a dried male head. 117 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,600 And in third place, a two-year-old withered female head. 118 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,800 And in last place, but still eliciting a sexual response, 119 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,440 a plain balsawood model of a head. 120 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,080 I don't know if you've ever taken a turkey to a Punch and Judy show. 121 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,240 It's horrific. 122 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,360 Unbelievable. 123 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,280 - That's all I want to do now. - Yeah! 124 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:48,120 Anyway, the last people you want to buy your next big thing 125 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,200 are the first people to buy it. 126 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,360 Which of these would be nice next-door neighbours? 127 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:58,200 Galaxies, hyenas, newlyweds, octopuses or burglars? 128 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,160 That's more of a mime artist than a burglar. 129 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,920 It is, yes. 130 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,440 I imagine that burglars don't burgle their neighbours? 131 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,040 - Yes, that's absolutely right. - They go further afield? - Yeah. 132 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,360 - They're nice. - I won't do the neighbours. - They're not lazy, 133 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,960 - that's something in their defence. - No. 134 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,200 - FRANKIE: - It could be selfishness, though, couldn't it? 135 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,880 It could be that they just don't want to put 136 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,760 their own insurance premium up. 137 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,120 That's a very good point. 138 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,320 But you are right. Burglars are very good neighbours, 139 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,120 in that they're not going to burgle you. 140 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,400 Galaxies are bad neighbours. 141 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,280 So what happens, when they reach a certain age, 142 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,880 a galaxy stops spawning new stars 143 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,360 and they just swallow smaller galaxies. 144 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,280 So our own home galaxy, the Milky Way, is expected quite soon, 145 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:40,480 this is in astronomical terms, four billion years from now, 146 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,960 to eat two of its neighbours, the large and small Magellanic Clouds. 147 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,960 And then, about a billion years after that, 148 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,320 the Milky Way will get eaten itself by the Andromeda galaxy. 149 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,400 - Andromeda, yeah. - Yeah. What about hyenas? 150 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,440 - Good neighbours, bad neighbours? - All that laughing. 151 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,600 When Mrs Brown's Boys is on, it's probably a nightmare. 152 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,840 That's actually what they do in the studio audience. 153 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:06,400 They don't use canned laughter on that show, they have live hyenas. 154 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,560 The trouble with hyenas is, 155 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,080 - you spend days and days stalking your deer. - Yeah. 156 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,800 And then they just come and rob it off you. 157 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,320 So I bet they're terrible neighbours. 158 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,680 Terrible neighbours. Any more for any more, Frankie? 159 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:20,560 I just think, although you'd know that they weren't laughing at you, 160 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,480 - it'd be hard not to be a little paranoid. - Yeah. 161 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,280 They're extraordinary creatures, they're so aggressive. 162 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,480 There's so much testosterone in a hyena 163 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,120 that, when a baby hyena is born, the first thing it does 164 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,120 is it turns around and tries to kill the next one 165 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,640 that's trying to be born. So, they're really aggressive. 166 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,920 - However, very good neighbours. - Ah. 167 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,520 Most people who live in hyena-prone areas, in fact encourage hyenas, 168 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,000 because they control pests 169 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,360 and they clear up all diseased animal carcasses. 170 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,360 And they don't attack humans as much as that photograph might suggest. 171 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,440 That one's wearing a John Lydon wig. 172 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,000 What about newlyweds? 173 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,160 What do you think, good neighbours, bad neighbours? 174 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,120 Well, I enjoy hearing other people making love. 175 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,680 I so rarely do it myself these days. 176 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,640 Since my husband got a turkey's head on a stick, 177 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,240 he's not interested any more but... 178 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,440 - ROSS: - But also, all the wedding gifts, 179 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,000 all the boxes from the wedding, 180 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,440 they leave them in the garden, don't they? 181 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,760 So, yes, you get to hear the lovemaking, 182 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,800 but there's discarded boxes. 183 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,440 So, a tick in each column. 184 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,640 Anything else? 185 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,280 They did a survey in Colorado, 186 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,040 and they found that people are much happier if they think 187 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,160 they're having more sex than their neighbours. 188 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,120 That's a thing. And so, having a honeymoon couple move in next door 189 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,440 - makes you feel depressed. - But I would sort of think 190 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,120 that society's moved on. 191 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,640 So, like, in the old days, that would be the first time 192 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,440 they're having sex, when they get married. 193 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,040 Whereas now, they get married to try and save the relationship, 194 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,440 because the sex is gone. 195 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:53,080 What about gloomy octopuses? Good neighbours, bad neighbours? 196 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,720 They'd have lovely gardens. 197 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,200 Well, yes and no is the weird thing. 198 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,880 It's the common Sydney octopus, but it's known as the gloomy octopus. 199 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,040 Look at those eyes! Aren't they fantastic? 200 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,280 What it does is, it throws rubbish at its neighbours. 201 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:14,160 It lives in Jervis Bay in Australia, and it gathers debris into its arms, 202 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,800 and then it uses the jet propulsion siphons on the sides of its body 203 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,880 to hurl it at the neighbours. 204 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,520 It's really unusual to find projectile weapons in animals. 205 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,520 So it may just be over-enthusiastic housework, I don't know. 206 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,320 - Is it cos the octopuses next door are having more sex? - Yeah. 207 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,560 - LUCY: - The sound of the suckers... - SHE MAKES SUCKER SOUNDS 208 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:36,240 OK, that thought is never going to leave me now. 209 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,280 Now, the next question isn't a next question, 210 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,560 it's a NECKS question. 211 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,560 So, I have... 212 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,960 I think that would look nice on you. 213 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,640 - And you can have this one here. - Lovely. 214 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,000 And there we go. 215 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,560 This one there. Right, make yourselves a prat. 216 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,200 Now, who knows how to make a prat? 217 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,480 What have you done, darling, what knot have you done? 218 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,200 I don't know. It's what I used to do at school. 219 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,560 Did you ever have that thing called "peanutting" at school? 220 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,840 - When people pull your tie tight? - They pull it really tight 221 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,120 - and then you can't get it undone. - Yes, that happened a lot. 222 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,320 OK, do you know the answer to stop that happening? 223 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,400 Oh, I wish you'd been around in 1976! 224 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,120 If you put a 2p coin inside the knot, 225 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,320 then it's impossible to peanut somebody. 226 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,960 - I shall tell my boys. - Pass it on. 227 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,240 So, the prat, basically you have to have it back to front, 228 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,480 like this, in order to tie it. 229 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,280 I haven't worn a tie since I gave up the pipe. Erm... 230 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,560 Like this. 231 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:41,280 And this is a self-releasing version of the prat, 232 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,000 it's called a Nicky knot. 233 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,800 And the reason it's self-releasing, 234 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,040 is that, when you pull it out like that, you can just let it go. 235 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,040 And it won't end up in a knot. 236 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,200 APPLAUSE Thank you very much! 237 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,360 They're difficult to follow. So, here's what happened. 238 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,960 1999, there were two Cambridge mathematicians, 239 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,480 Thomas Fink and Yong Mao, 240 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,440 and they calculated the maximum number of ways to tie a tie. 241 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,680 They worked out it was 85. 242 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,320 And then there was a Swedish mathematician watching 243 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,640 The Matrix Reloaded - came out in 2003. 244 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,640 - Fantastic film. It's great. - Amazing. - Slow-motion bullet avoiding? 245 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,120 Brilliant. 246 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,240 LAUGHTER 247 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,880 I absolutely loved it. 248 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,040 But he's watching this film and instead of thinking, 249 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,360 "Here's a great film for learning how to..." 250 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,440 And it gets so much better in a chair. 251 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,600 This Swedish mathematician called Mikael Vejdemo-Johansson, 252 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,560 he's watching it and he realises that there is a tie 253 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:41,720 tied in a knot that isn't on the main list of 85. 254 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,600 And so, he re-worked the list and he came up 255 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,720 with a total number of ways to tie a normal tie - 256 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:52,600 177,147. 257 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,520 He did slightly change the rules, 258 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,560 but every time you face having to put on a tie, 259 00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:01,840 177,147 different ways in which you might decide to tie it. 260 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,200 I hate ties. 261 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,200 I just sort of think the minute you get a really depressing job, 262 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,920 the one thing you have to wear is a sort of suicide kit. 263 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,960 Anybody know how long we've been wearing ties for? 264 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,560 - How long they've been around? - About five minutes, now. 265 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:23,120 We've had ties since the Thirty Years' War, which was 1618. 266 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,560 It was the Croatians who first brought the notion 267 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,160 of wearing something. They wore a little small, knotted... 268 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,560 Am I a time traveller? 269 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,080 Just turn sideways. Turn this... 270 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,480 APPLAUSE 271 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:46,160 - That is quite spooky. - My God, they've found out my secret! 272 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,000 Fire up the machine, we must travel back! 273 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,280 It's where we get "cravat" from. It's from the Croatians. 274 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,320 Then it took off, and the Parisians loved it. 275 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,640 King Louis XIV was so obsessed with his cravats, 276 00:13:55,640 --> 00:14:00,160 he had a cravateur who used to lay out cravats for him to choose. 277 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,320 God, I've put on a bit of weight, haven't I?! 278 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,360 We could do a show with you just being characters from history! 279 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,440 Somebody once heckled me by saying, 280 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,800 "You look like every single character from Lord Of the Rings." 281 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,320 While we're doing knots, now, I've been practising this, 282 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,800 and I can do it about one in three. 283 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,080 So, you've all got an opportunity to give this a go. 284 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,320 There we go. That was pretty cool! 285 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,440 APPLAUSE 286 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:41,240 OK, so, it is just a length of chain, 287 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,880 and then you place the ring up in like this... 288 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,800 Now, if you hold it with your thumb, 289 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,440 and then hold it with one of your fingers and, what you need to do, 290 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,080 you just let the finger go and not the thumb. 291 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,880 Just try and let the... Yeah, Ross has got it! 292 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,760 APPLAUSE 293 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,480 - Just a few more goes... - All right, you're determined. 294 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,960 Put the chain... OK. 295 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,840 Don't make me get up and show you! 296 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,200 So, make your hand wide like this, OK? 297 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,480 And then, hook your thumb like this, but don't hook the chain. 298 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,200 Just hold that like that and only let your finger go. 299 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,960 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 300 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,960 I feel like a teaching assistant. 301 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,360 And where can you get one of those, this time of day? 302 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,760 Oh, yes! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 303 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,480 I feel my time here has been worthwhile. 304 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,400 Right. Is this the neck verse thing? 305 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,200 CHORAL SINGING 306 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,240 Isn't it beautiful? 307 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,440 It's not worth losing your nuts for, though, is it? 308 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,680 Well, you might lose more than that... 309 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,600 Really? Is it about hanging? 310 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,280 It is about dying, certainly. 311 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,720 It's known as the neck verse. Does anybody know why? 312 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,960 - FRANKIE: - The neck verse is how a German doctor tells you 313 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,360 you have whiplash. 314 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:33,800 - I do know this. - Yes? 315 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,840 - There used to be a thing called benefit of clergy. - Yep. 316 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,240 Where if people could prove that they were in the clergy 317 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,440 - by reciting a verse of the Bible... - Yep. 318 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,720 ..then they were tried under ecclesiastical law 319 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,680 instead of normal law, where they'd be more likely to get hung. 320 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,640 Yeah, you're absolutely right, it's brilliant. 321 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,920 APPLAUSE 322 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,120 It's Psalm 51 and it was known as the neck verse, 323 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,400 and you had to be able to recite it in Latin. 324 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,840 "O God, have mercy upon me, 325 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,280 "according to thine heartfelt mercifulness." 326 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,800 And, the benefit of the clergy, it existed for about 600 years, 327 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,560 from about the 12th century to 1841. 328 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,720 And some crimes, the clergy would get lesser sentences. 329 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,080 And so it used to be you had to prove you were clergy. 330 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,640 But over time, it was enough to prove you were literate, 331 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,520 so, obviously, in Latin, and this created a loophole. 332 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,200 So, illiterate people could learn that verse by heart, 333 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,120 and the courts were happy to go along with this legal fiction, 334 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,400 because there were many crimes which it was felt 335 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,760 that the punishment was too harsh. So, they would allow this fiction 336 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,760 that you were a member of the clergy, 337 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,440 and therefore you could get away with it. 338 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,760 In fact, Ben Jonson, the playwright, in 1598, 339 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,720 he avoided being hanged for killing an actor in a duel, 340 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,640 an actor called Gabriel Spenser, by pleading benefit of clergy. 341 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,480 I know a bit about Ben Jonson. 342 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,040 He murdered someone that he acted in a play with, 343 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,600 the play was called The Isle Of Dogs. 344 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,240 And it was so offensive that it was suppressed so completely 345 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,240 nobody's ever worked out what it was about. 346 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,480 - We don't even have a record of the script or anything? - No. 347 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,040 - And then you released it on DVD! - Yeah! 348 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,400 APPLAUSE 349 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,880 Do you know why priests wear a dog collar? 350 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,880 It's something that we associate with the clergy, 351 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,840 - but it's fairly recent. - I mean, I am going grey, I'll give you that. 352 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,080 You need to do that double chin a bit more. 353 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,360 That's it. 354 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,880 Is it just for ID? 355 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,200 It's just for ID. It's a Scottish Presbyterian invention 356 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,760 that was then adopted by the Anglicans in the 1840s. 357 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,840 So, it didn't really become widespread until the 1880s 358 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,440 and those bands that hang down, they're called preaching bands. 359 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,200 So it's like an early bar code? 360 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,200 Yes. Exactly like, exactly like that. 361 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,480 We don't have them in Denmark. 362 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,480 In Denmark, it's a Lutheran church, so they wear the Elizabethan ruff. 363 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,560 - Still got the ruff going on? - Yeah, going on. Oh, yeah. 364 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:44,880 Bring back the ruff! 365 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,360 - Very forgiving, a ruff. Very, erm... - But the vicar now would get a lot 366 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,840 of biscuit crumbs in the ruff, wouldn't he? 367 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,680 So, what's the best thing about clickbait? 368 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,360 There's nothing good about it at all, it's horrifying. 369 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,840 Why would you think it's horrifying? 370 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,680 Because there's nothing about me taking a quiz 371 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,360 saying which Game Of Thrones character I am 372 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:10,560 that suggests that I am in the market for a brand-new Lexus. 373 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,920 But why do you do it? That's the question, why do you do it? 374 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,480 Boredom. I think it's also the internet tries to sell itself as, 375 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,680 oh, it's connective, you're connecting with people 376 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,680 and you're not. The other day, I saw a thing about the FA Cup Final 377 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,800 on the BBC website and, at the bottom, it said "Get involved." 378 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,840 What, in the FA Cup Final?! 379 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,440 How?! 380 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,320 Can somebody describe clickbait for anybody who doesn't know what it is? 381 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,960 - LUCY: - The worst ones are the... 382 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,800 "23 things you never knew about ducks. 383 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,320 - "Number 12 will astonish you!" - Yeah. 384 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,680 They call them "listicles," 385 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,440 which is portmanteau of "list" and "testicles" cos... 386 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,040 ..they're all complete bollocks. 387 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,480 So, here's the weird thing. 388 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,360 The research suggests that the pleasure we get 389 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,360 from cute and funny or shocking videos, 390 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,160 the ones that do the rounds on the internet, 391 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,280 we get the pleasure from anticipating them 392 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,080 and not from actually seeing them. 393 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,360 So it releases dopamine when we think we're going to see something. 394 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,840 So dopamine... This is a neuroscientist put it this way - 395 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,280 dopamine is not about pleasure, it's about the anticipation of pleasure. 396 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,920 It's about the pursuit of happiness rather than happiness itself. 397 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,840 That's quite interesting, because, if you click on one of those things, 398 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,320 like, sometimes it will say, 399 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,800 "40 actresses, you won't believe what they look like now. 400 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,800 "Number 37 is amazing!" 401 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,320 - But you have to go through... - By the time you get to about 19, 402 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,480 the dopamine's worn off. 403 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,080 You never get to 37. 404 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,560 And people seldom get what's promised, 405 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,120 but we carry on and it's called intermittent re-enforcement. 406 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,120 And we keep getting more dopamine, 407 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,520 it's more addictive as you keep going through. 408 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,400 We're slaves to curiosity. 409 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,520 I find this profoundly depressing. 410 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,560 - I think so too. - All we're ever doing is anticipating stuff 411 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,120 and the only thing that's really going to deliver is Tinder 412 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,840 and the actual relationship is going to be terrible. 413 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,160 And we sort of know that's true, don't we? 414 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,880 But I don't think it's a new thing. I mean, "To travel hopefully 415 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,680 "is better than to arrive" is an old idea. 416 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,880 There's also a thing called the spoiler paradox, 417 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,360 which has a similar effect. People enjoy a story more, 418 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,880 when they know how it's going to turn out. 419 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,640 And we think maybe the story's easier for the brain to process, 420 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,120 without the distraction of wondering how it's going to end. 421 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,360 So, spoiler alert, Alan's going to come last today. 422 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,480 Already, the audience having a much better time! 423 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,640 Looking forward to something is more than half the fun, it seems. 424 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:28,520 And the next question is absolutely fantastic! 425 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,440 Who has green sponge balls? 426 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,840 - FRANKIE: - Is it...? - MAN: - SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ah... 427 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,520 KLAXON 428 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,360 APPLAUSE 429 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,400 That's why you're sitting over there! 430 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,080 - ROSS: - Can you imagine that bloke, for the rest of his life, 431 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,880 he's going to go, "And I knew the answer, and I shouted it... 432 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,200 - "Oh, God!" - Who was it? Hand up, hand up, who was it? 433 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,920 - Welcome to my world. - Let's have a clear shot of you. 434 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:03,360 - What's your name? - Nick! - You're going to be so sorry. OK. 435 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,680 You're a harbinger of failure, Nick. 436 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,360 - Anybody else know? OK. So... - Green sponge balls... 437 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,800 - Green sponge balls. - ..is what they have on a snooker table 438 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,280 in a tinnitus clinic. 439 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:26,600 So, who has, in the UK, who has green sponge balls? 440 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,640 - LUCY: - Erm... - Is it a medical thing? - No, it's a species. 441 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,120 Would it be a sponge? 442 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,760 - It's not a sponge, but is in the sea. - Seaweed? 443 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,320 It is seaweed. It is a kind of seaweed. Absolutely right. 444 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,440 APPLAUSE 445 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,240 But you know, what's sad is that there isn't any any more. 446 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,680 It's all gone, 447 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,240 but it used to be one of the must-have species 448 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,240 in the mid-19th century for seaweed collectors. 449 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,800 So there was a brief craze, 450 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,720 it gripped the daughters of Victorian well-to-do. 451 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,960 In fact, even Queen Victoria herself had a seaweed album. 452 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,520 - FRANKIE: - Before TV, people were just so bored. 453 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,960 They were just sitting there going, 454 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,880 - "Collect some seaweed, invade India..." - Yeah. 455 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,800 "Let's just try and get through this." 456 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,680 But it was a bit like pressed flowers. 457 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,640 You placed the seaweed onto the page, you weighted it down, 458 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,800 and then some gelatinous matter oozed out 459 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,080 and that stuck the seaweed to the paper. 460 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,160 But it was a huge thing. There were hobby shops 461 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,240 that sold specialist equipment, you could get special scissors 462 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,560 and pliers and stick with a needle on the end and all kinds of things. 463 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,120 For really lazy daughters, 464 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:29,000 there were ready-made seaweed albums available. 465 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,360 What happened - it was a bit like egg collecting and butterflies, 466 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:34,120 it caused the depletion of certain species, 467 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:35,800 some of which still have never recovered 468 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,000 and the green sponge ball is thought to be extinct because of that. 469 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,560 At least in the UK. 470 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,240 "Thought to be extinct"? 471 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,320 Ah, well, I've not done the whole coastline of Britain looking. 472 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,840 So there's a possibility. 473 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,760 - Yeah, I suppose there must be. - Well, the anticipation 474 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,440 of the green sponge ball is out there somewhere. 475 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,320 - Oh... - I tell you what's great about this story. 476 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,560 The very first book of photographs ever published in the world 477 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,840 is called Photographs Of British Algae 478 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,920 by Anna Atkins. 479 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,520 And she's thought to be the very first female photographer 480 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,400 and she did this wonderful... It's in the British Library. 481 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,560 I mean, seaweed's amazing. 482 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,320 There's thought to be 200,000-800,000 species 483 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,360 of micro-algae, which we can't even see. 484 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:20,600 - Too small to see with the naked eye. - That was a rubbish book. - Yeah. 485 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,520 Tiny book with nothing in it. 486 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,720 Incidentally, do you know why there's been a huge increase 487 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,920 in seaweed farming recently? 488 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,760 Sushi? People like the sushi? 489 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,200 KLAXON 490 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,640 Quick on it, aren't they? 491 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,440 Is it to do with Ben and Jerry? 492 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,360 Well, there is certainly seaweed in ice cream, 493 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,560 that is absolutely correct. 494 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:42,720 - LUCY: - Is it fuel? 495 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,520 Bio-fuel is exactly right. 496 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,840 It's very important as a renewable fuel. 497 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,920 The leading nations are China and Japan, South Korea, 498 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,880 but it is part of the UK's renewable energy strategy, 499 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,680 so we have farms that have been started off the Scottish coast. 500 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,520 And, in fact, there's an incredible seaweed farm in China 501 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,320 called the Sangou Bay. 502 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:04,480 It stretches for 10km out to sea and, unlike the wall, 503 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:05,920 it can be seen from space. 504 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,840 It is so huge, this seaweed farm. 505 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,320 The one that we eat, the red marine algae, Pyropia tenera, 506 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,560 that's been prized as a food since ancient times 507 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:14,960 in both Japan and Wales. 508 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,480 So in Japan, known as nori. What's it known as in Wales? 509 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:19,800 - WELSH ACCENT: - Nor-ri. 510 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,960 - I'll have some nor-ri, if you don't mind. - I like yours better. 511 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,560 - I love a bit of nor-ri. - What did you say? 512 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,480 - It's laver in laver bread, isn't it? - It is laver in laver bread. 513 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,760 So here's a great story. OK, so, for centuries, you could only harvest 514 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,280 seaweed from the wild, OK? 515 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,600 It couldn't be farmed. 516 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,080 And then there's an incredible woman in the 1940s 517 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,760 called Dr Kathleen Drew-Baker. 518 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,320 And she worked out the life cycle of laver and how it reproduced 519 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,720 and nobody in Britain paid any attention. 520 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:49,440 But the Japanese went crazy. It kick-started the gigantic 521 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:53,480 modern nori industry and thus the world-wide sushi craze. 522 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,560 It is because of Dr Kathleen Drew-Baker. 523 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,160 She never, ever went to Japan, but she is famous in Japan 524 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,240 as she's revered as the mother of the sea. 525 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,080 They hold a festival in her honour every April the 14th. 526 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,640 They sing songs at the Drew-Baker monument. 527 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,840 She didn't like posing for her picture, though, did she? 528 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,200 Also, what people don't know about her is that, 529 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,640 towards the end of her life, 530 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,480 she really angered Darth Vader. 531 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,440 LAUGHTER 532 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,560 That's very good. 533 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,120 Some years ago, an anthropologist asked Welsh youngsters 534 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,520 why they don't eat seaweed now, 535 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,480 and they said it's slimy, it's poor people's food, it's old-fashioned. 536 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,640 And so they were asked to name a fashionable food 537 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:32,680 and what did they say? 538 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,080 - ALL: - Sushi. - Sushi, yeah. 539 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,320 It's lovely, isn't it? But we probably eat it every day. 540 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,120 We eat it in ice cream, we have it in chocolate, toothpaste, beer... 541 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:41,720 - FRANKIE: - They eat it in Donegal. Dulse, it's called. 542 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,680 - As a snack or with food? - As a snack. 543 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,920 - Yeah. - Raw off the beach! 544 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,240 On all fours. 545 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,760 That picture on the right is slightly worrying. Erm... 546 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,800 Hang on a second, didn't you market that? 547 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,000 It's a harbinger of something, anyway. 548 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,080 It's because seaweed is also used as a sexual lubricant. 549 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,640 - It's incredibly effective at... - Seaweed?! 550 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,760 - Yes, seaweed. - Good lord! - Well, it's an extract called carrageenan. 551 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,840 It's incredibly effective at preventing 552 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,640 the spread of genital HPV, so, yeah. 553 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,960 That's worrying, if Godzilla actually exists, 554 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,080 that he's going to emerge already lubed up. 555 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,960 But handy if you're a little bit down there. 556 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,240 Just rub yourself against his foot. 557 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,200 "If you're a little bit down there"? 558 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,200 Come on, this is the BBC. 559 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,440 I can't say... 560 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:36,840 If you're a little bit down there 561 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,680 - and you've got a touch of the ahem... - Ahem! - And don't want to... 562 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:43,560 With the... Get the Godzilla and work with the, er, on the, er... 563 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:44,920 Yeah. 564 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,640 And this information video also available online. 565 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,720 A nuclear question for you next. 566 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,520 How does atomic gardening work? 567 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:57,160 Is that where you keep atomic kittens? In the atomic garden? 568 00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,120 - That's so sweet, but no. - No. 569 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,880 What is atomic gardening? 570 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,360 It's a new Chanel 5 format. 571 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,560 Starring Alan Titchmarsh 572 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,040 and the unquiet ghost of Robert Oppenheimer. 573 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,880 LAUGHTER 574 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,520 - LUCY: - They're mutating Alan Titchmarsh. I love the idea. 575 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,000 We're going to have three heads on one Alan Titchmarsh. 576 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,240 - That's terrifying! - That's like every old lady's dream. 577 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,640 So it was a thing, atomic gardening. It was a thing, in fact, 578 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,640 almost all the peppermint oil used around the world to flavour things 579 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,760 like chewing gum and toothpaste comes from one cultivar 580 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,680 of peppermint. It's this Todd's Mitcham 581 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,200 which resulted from a very odd episode in 20th-century science 582 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,240 called atomic gardening. It was also known as gamma gardening. 583 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,840 So, after the Second World War, there was an Atoms For Peace 584 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,200 programme and it sought peaceful use for the science 585 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,680 that had led to the atomic bombs. 586 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,640 And people thought, if they exposed plants and seeds to radiation, 587 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,240 maybe some interesting mutations would result and there were some. 588 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,360 Red grapefruits and super-sweet sweetcorn, 589 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,160 both resulted from atomic gardening. 590 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,840 So various ways you could do it. You could strap the packets of seeds 591 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,160 to the inside of a hospital X-ray machine. 592 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,400 You could leave them in the fallout zone of a nuclear testing site. 593 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,080 Or you could do this, which is a circular garden 594 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,400 with a source of radiation in the middle. 595 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,400 And so the plant seeds RADIATE out. 596 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:20,760 - FRANKIE: - I think this could be an amazing episode of Countryfile. 597 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,360 "Welcome. I, John Craven, can now see through lead." 598 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,040 There was a wonderful woman called Muriel Howarth. 599 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,600 She was the doyenne of British nuclear gardening 600 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:38,280 and, in 1959, she grew the first atomic peanut. 601 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,920 It germinated in four days and was two foot tall. 602 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,360 I mean, sort of terrifying. 603 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,000 Wow. That's a hell of an M&M. 604 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,360 That is. Yeah. 605 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,880 There's an old movie, isn't there? 606 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,440 - The Effect Of Gamma Rays... - On Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds. 607 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,640 Do you know what's a really weird story about that film? 608 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,800 So, I was living in New York. Paul Newman directed it 609 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,960 and I auditioned to play the part of the daughter in the film. 610 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:03,600 - Really? - And I didn't get it. I was second. And do you know who got it? 611 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,320 Paul Newman's daughter! LAUGHTER 612 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,440 - Wow, that's amazing. - That is weird, isn't it? 613 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,240 So there are lots of things that we have today 614 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,240 which come from that period of gardening. 615 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,680 New varieties of rose and dahlias, snap dragons, carnations and so on. 616 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,520 There they were, Super Atomic Energized Seeds. 617 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,320 And so today, genetic engineering 618 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,400 has largely superseded the gamma garden. 619 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,720 Now to the NEST question. 620 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,200 Why would your mum have you for breakfast? 621 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,640 - Is there a species that eats its young? - Yes. 622 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,680 - Not all of the young, I presume? - Some. - It would be short-lived. 623 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,800 But why might that be? 624 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,360 Is it that the babies are just particularly delicious? 625 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,360 You think they just can't resist that. 626 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,560 Yeah, exactly, like a little quail or something. 627 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,040 You go, "Ooh... 628 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,480 "Ooh, lovely. Lovely bit of butter on that." 629 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,200 Yeah, it's lucky that chickens don't like eggs, really, isn't it? 630 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,360 - Yeah, that's true. - Yeah. 631 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,320 They're all sitting there eating omelettes and dying out. 632 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,760 Maybe it's that thing where you sniff your own baby 633 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,800 and they seem to you so delicious, you almost want to eat them. 634 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,880 - Yeah. - Maybe insects just go, 635 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:09,280 "There's no society to hold me back, I'm going to follow through." 636 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,240 I often say I could eat my son with a spoon. 637 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,800 - I don't mean it, but... LUCY: - Yeah. It's the knees. 638 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,080 I could just eat babies' knees all day long. 639 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,800 - I really could. Just the knees. - They are just gorgeous. 640 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,120 - They could have the rest. - Yeah. Even their feet are... 641 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,280 - Oh, yeah. - Delicious. 642 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:26,640 No, we are talking about a burrowing beetle and its larva. 643 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,240 And it chooses to make its life in a rotting corpse 644 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,360 of some kind or other, and that's where it has its babies. 645 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,840 And it has to adjust the size of the brood to the size of the carcass. 646 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:38,440 There's got to be enough food. 647 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,720 And so, researchers at the University of Edinburgh 648 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,440 have established that she will choose to eat the ones 649 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,960 that nag her most. 650 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,560 - This is great parenting. - Yeah. - This is what we all need, isn't it? 651 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,320 So, the burrowing beetle baby that keeps going, "I want a snack, 652 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,320 "I want a snack..." Gone. 653 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,760 - Finished. - If my children are watching, I am learning a lot. 654 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:02,880 Your children aren't watching, 655 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,680 they're in their bedrooms with their knees missing. 656 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,440 APPLAUSE 657 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,920 Are you a nagger, Lucy? Do you nag your children? 658 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,560 No, they nag me. Absolutely. 659 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,600 Well, apparently, nagging does work. 660 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,600 They did some research at Harvard Business School 661 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,800 and the best way for managers to get staff to do something 662 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,560 is to nag them continually. 663 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,480 They found the most effective managers repeat themselves 664 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,680 at least once and often in two different ways. 665 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,560 So you have a conversation and you follow it up by an e-mail. 666 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,360 So nagging your staff is hugely successful. 667 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,720 How irritating is that? 668 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,600 I read a parenting book that said, 669 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,480 instead of couching everything in words, 670 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,480 you just say the salient word. So if you want them to put their shoes on, 671 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:49,720 you just go, "Shoes!" 672 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:50,800 "Teeth!" 673 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,160 And, in the morning, it's like I've got some really weird Tourette's. 674 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,360 Just... "Shoes! Teeth! Mummy's gin!" 675 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,720 Apparently daughters nagged by their mothers grow up to be high earners. 676 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,760 The thing I like is, in Japan, men who are trying to diet 677 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,720 can subscribe to a virtual wife 678 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:12,600 and she will nag you four times a day by e-mail 679 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,640 and there's different wife varieties on offer. 680 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,760 You can have a maid, a businesswoman, 681 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,200 a nurse or a manicurist. 682 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,720 Any of you boys do half the housework in your homes? 683 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,160 Don't be stupid! 684 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,960 Because here's an extraordinary thing. 685 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:31,480 In heterosexual relationships, even if the man does half the housework, 686 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,680 it's usually the woman who's in charge of allocating the tasks, 687 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,000 and making sure it gets done. 688 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,960 So, in other words, nagging itself, 689 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,160 yet another job about the house which women are expected to do, 690 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,320 and men wriggle out of. 691 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,160 Moving on now. All the way from Pennsylvania, 692 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,680 the marvel from Philadelphia, Euphonia! 693 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,000 What's her act? 694 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,720 She removes her legs... 695 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,160 ..and hovers above a man on a knitting machine. 696 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,120 Well, you're not far off. It is a machine. 697 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,400 She looks rather hirsute, doesn't she? 698 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,000 She's called Euphonia, she's from 1845. 699 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,840 - FRANKIE: - Were they trying to do the turkey experiment with a human? 700 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,200 It's heading more and more towards the head. 701 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:19,040 She's stolen his beard, he's stolen her legs... 702 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,800 - Oh, that's scary. - Yeah. 703 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,520 So, 1845, a German inventor called Joseph Faber 704 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,440 exhibited this incredible machine. 705 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,760 It could talk, it had bellows for lungs, 706 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,880 a tongue and a larynx made of wires and reeds and levers, 707 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,880 and it was operated by a piano-like keyboard. 708 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,600 So there were 16 keys, plus one to open the glottis, the vocal cords, 709 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,320 and foot pedals, and sounds came out of her mouth. 710 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,520 She could laugh, she could whisper, she could sing God Save The Queen. 711 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,320 But the fundamental problem with her is that she scared people. 712 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,840 - Yeah, she's scaring me now! - Yeah. She had... 713 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,640 Urgh! 714 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,280 The turkeys have kicked off! 715 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:54,520 "That's the one." 716 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,640 HE IMITATES AN EXCITED TURKEY 717 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,840 It's like a frustrated turkey was in the room! 718 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,520 Apparently, her tongue lolled about in her mouth 719 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,240 - and her voice was awful. - Oh, no. 720 00:35:07,240 --> 00:35:09,200 It was as if it came from the depths of a tomb. 721 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,480 It was very, sort of, hoarse and hideous. 722 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,000 And Faber, who made it, 723 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,920 twice he destroyed the Euphonia out of frustration. 724 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,560 And the first time, he rebuilt it, and the second time, well, 725 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,320 - he took his own life. - So it's basically like Siri. 726 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,840 It is a kind of Siri. 727 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:29,600 Now, how does a dog know another dog is a dog if it can't smell it? 728 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:30,880 It can see it? 729 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,440 - That's all there is too it. - Really? 730 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,120 Sometimes, it's right. That's why I keep saying it! 731 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,720 Sometimes, it's just right. 732 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,960 So the extraordinary thing about dogs is they come in such a variety 733 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,200 of shapes and sizes, more so than really any other animal species. 734 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,520 But a Labrador knows that a Chihuahua or a Newfoundland 735 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,240 all belong in the same category. So smell and hearing help, 736 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:55,080 but they actually recognise one another by their faces. 737 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,360 So they can be shown a range of dog breeds 738 00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,160 and they're able to indicate which ones are dogs. 739 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:01,200 They can see. 740 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:05,480 - ROSS: - So is a dog more likely to buy car insurance... 741 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:06,960 off the one on the left? 742 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,000 Yes, that's right. 743 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:18,520 Do you think... Could a person tell another person by smell alone? 744 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:19,840 Ah, well, I could be blindfolded 745 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,120 and have my three children be in the room 746 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:23,920 and I would be able to know which one was which. 747 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:28,080 - You know if it's a human poo or a dog poo by smell. - Yes. 748 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,920 And by the feel of it when you stand in it. 749 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,800 LAUGHTER AND GROANING 750 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,560 Dogs can tell that dogs are dogs just by looking at them. 751 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,640 Now, fingers next to buzzers, please, 752 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,480 for the General Ignorance round. 753 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,880 Why are dock leaves good for nettle stings? 754 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,640 # Next to you. # 755 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,560 - Ross? - They're not. 756 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,160 You're absolutely right. 757 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,240 The fact is, we don't even know why nettle stings hurt quite so much, 758 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:54,160 or last so long. What we do know 759 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,960 is that nettles are covered with tiny little hollow hairs, 760 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,560 which break off when you touch them and they act like needles 761 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,480 and they inject, oh, it's a cocktail of unpleasantness into your skin... 762 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,040 But yet, delightful as soup. 763 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,880 Very good as soup and, in theory, very, very good medicine. 764 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:10,640 So, there's a thing called urtification, 765 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,440 - do you know what that is? - I don't, no. 766 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,160 It's beating yourself with stinging nettles, fundamentally. 767 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,920 And the Romans used to do it in Britain, because there was damp 768 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,400 and it gave them arthritis. 769 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,880 And so urtification apparently got rid of it. 770 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:23,480 And they did a study in 2000, 771 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,960 and the Royal Society of Medicine confirmed it is a safe 772 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:29,120 and effective treatment for rheumatic pain, so you can use it. 773 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,160 - Not many people know that the actor John Nettles... - Yes. 774 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,520 ..you shake his hand, burns your skin. 775 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:38,400 - It's horrible, horrible. - But if you throw yourself against him, 776 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,960 gets rid of your rheumatism. 777 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,800 Very much so. Romans can't help themselves. 778 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:47,920 Getting John Nettles to smack himself against them. 779 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,320 Old ladies, he's like a faith healer. 780 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,520 You know when they're like... "Have you got rheumatism in your body? 781 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:54,840 "I want you to come down." 782 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,960 John Nettles slaps you on the knees. 783 00:37:58,440 --> 00:37:59,880 Your kids would like him. 784 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,360 The longer I work with Ross, the more I believe him, 785 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,520 which is... LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH 786 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,840 Now, what kind of questions are barristers never allowed 787 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,240 to ask the witness? 788 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:14,000 Leading questions. 789 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,080 KLAXON 790 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,160 # Next door... # 791 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,240 - Lucy? - Multiple choice? 792 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,400 APPLAUSE 793 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:38,320 "Did you A, kill them, B, have a takeaway, C...?" 794 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,240 "Oh, mostly Cs, you're a Gemini!" 795 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,440 So, you can sometimes have leading questions. 796 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,080 They are allowed in cross-examination. 797 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,280 So, when you're questioning the other side's witness, 798 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,960 it's absolutely fine. They're not allowed in what's called 799 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,000 evidence in chief. So, that's when you're questioning your own side. 800 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,720 You couldn't, for example, say, 801 00:38:56,720 --> 00:39:00,320 "And did the accused hit you about the buttocks with the cucumber?" 802 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,240 You're not allowed to say that... 803 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:08,240 - "Or, did he B..." - Yeah. - "..put the cucumber between the buttocks?" 804 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:12,480 "Or, was it C, the actor John Nettles, 805 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,120 - "who was just trying to help?" - Yeah, you're not allowed to do that. 806 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,600 You have to say "what happened next", is basically the thing. 807 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,120 But, in cross-examination, 808 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,200 you're not only allowed to ask leading questions, 809 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,200 most people say you SHOULD ask them. 810 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:28,560 Is the fellow on the right, by any chance, saying "tattyfilarious"? 811 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:32,840 "Oh, what a lovely day, what a lovely day for committing murder." 812 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,640 That's why I didn't become a lawyer, 813 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,520 there's not enough funny voices in the law. 814 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,600 Now, what kind of evidence isn't going to get you convicted 815 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,120 under any circumstances? 816 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,000 Circumstantial. 817 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,560 KLAXON 818 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,720 And that was a leading question! 819 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,200 We think it's the case that you can't use circumstantial, 820 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,600 but in fact most convictions depend entirely on circumstantial evidence. 821 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,160 Because fingerprints and DNA samples and phone records, 822 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,280 credit card receipts, bloodstains, lack of an alibi, 823 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,480 that can all be circumstantial evidence, 824 00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:16,120 stuff from which you can infer that somebody was present at a crime. 825 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,200 And finally, a male black widow spider 826 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:23,520 and a female black widow spider have just finished having sex. 827 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,720 What happens next? 828 00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:28,160 - # Next to you. # - Yeah, Ross? 829 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,880 Tiny cigarette. 830 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,400 APPLAUSE 831 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,520 - Oh, no, no! It wouldn't be a tiny cigarette, would it? - No. 832 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,320 It'd be eight tiny cigarettes. Like that. 833 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:49,840 "Shall we do it again?" 834 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,920 Maybe she could try and kill him in that way, rather than by eating him, 835 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,600 which I think is the answer that we were being led towards. 836 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,480 Ah, she eats him. 837 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,480 KLAXON 838 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,600 No, she does not, if she's a black widow. 839 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,080 So, there is one species in the widow group in which the female, 840 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,120 let's say, routinely eats the male... 841 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,320 - Scottish widows? - The Scottish widow! 842 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,040 Yes, but at least she's insured. 843 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,280 It's the redback spider of Australia, it's the only one. 844 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,000 There are three species found in North America 845 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,520 and post-coital cannibalism in one of the three is rare 846 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,520 and, in the other two, it's completely unknown. 847 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,880 And they get their name "widow" 848 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,040 probably because people have watched their behaviour in captivity, 849 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:40,960 when they're not behaving normally, I think. 850 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,720 So how dangerous do you think a black widow bite is to humans? 851 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:45,480 - Very. - No. 852 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,040 It's almost unheard of, in fact, for anybody to die from it. 853 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,480 - Right. - Bit of soap and water, that'll get rid of it. 854 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,720 Unless you have a particular allergic reaction to it. 855 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,360 Actually, it's surprisingly hard to get bitten in the first place, 856 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,160 because the venom is metabolically costly to the spider, 857 00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,520 so she's not going to use it unless she absolutely has to. 858 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,520 And so they've done lots of tests and they've been poking and prodding 859 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,880 with jelly fingers and mostly it's a dry bite that you'd get, 860 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,080 so there's no venom in it. It's not, er... 861 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:11,520 Are they commercially available, the jelly fingers? 862 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:15,880 I think you could make your own. 863 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,120 Get that down! That'll be in that warehouse of things 864 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,520 that people don't buy. 865 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,200 The Museum of Failed Products. 866 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,760 Post-coital cannibalism amongst black widows is the exception, 867 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:30,160 not the rule. What usually happens is that the male says he'll text her 868 00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,280 and then he never... 869 00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,720 OK, next, it's the scores and, in first place, 870 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,800 with a magnificent 6 points, it's Ross! 871 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,840 APPLAUSE 872 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:45,000 And in second, just one point behind with 5, it's Frankie! 873 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,120 APPLAUSE 874 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,600 In third place, with -4, Lucy! 875 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,800 APPLAUSE 876 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,120 APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH 877 00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,880 And in fourth place, with -10, 878 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,680 it's the audience! 879 00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:12,160 Which means that, in last place of the next show, is, was, 880 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,080 or will be, with -25, Alan. 881 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,360 APPLAUSE 882 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,760 My thanks to Frankie, Ross, Lucy and Alan. 883 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,840 I leave you with this news from the Western Daily Press, 884 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,720 concerning what people plan to do next, after they retire. 885 00:43:31,720 --> 00:43:35,200 A survey of 1,000 over-50-year-olds found that many 886 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,480 intended to travel more, write a book, do a parachute jump, 887 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,920 or take up a new hobby when they reach 60. 888 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,480 Some of those polled said they wanted to become a volunteer, 889 00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:45,200 or raise money for charity. 890 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,280 While others just wanted to eat more cakes, and have more sex. 891 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,400 Until next time, goodbye. 892 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,280 APPLAUSE