1 00:00:33,335 --> 00:00:34,815 Hello! 2 00:00:34,815 --> 00:00:39,815 Welcome to QI, where tonight, we've packed up our provisions 3 00:00:39,815 --> 00:00:42,415 and plonked down for the perfect picnic. 4 00:00:42,415 --> 00:00:43,695 Let's meet our picnickers. 5 00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:46,255 Making the sandwiches, it's Richard Osman. 6 00:00:51,215 --> 00:00:53,615 Supplying the Thermos, it's Rachel Parris. 7 00:00:57,695 --> 00:01:00,215 Carrying the hamper, it's Romesh Ranganathan. 8 00:01:04,855 --> 00:01:08,695 And reading the newspaper in the car, it's Alan Davies. 9 00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:17,735 And their buzzers are quite literally buzzing. 10 00:01:17,735 --> 00:01:19,175 Richard goes... 11 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,295 ..Rachel goes... 12 00:01:25,455 --> 00:01:26,895 ..Romesh goes... 13 00:01:29,855 --> 00:01:31,295 ..and Alan goes... 14 00:01:36,974 --> 00:01:38,134 All right... 15 00:01:38,134 --> 00:01:40,654 You've been in my lavatory again, haven't you? 16 00:01:52,374 --> 00:01:55,294 If you just did that for 29 minutes, this would get a BAFTA. 17 00:01:59,694 --> 00:02:02,814 OK, what would you keep in this basket? 18 00:02:02,814 --> 00:02:06,014 You get those if you go fruit picking, baskets like that. 19 00:02:06,014 --> 00:02:09,134 Yes, you do, but not this particular basket. 20 00:02:09,134 --> 00:02:12,614 I'm going to... It looks a bit like a building to me. 21 00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:14,814 It is a building, that's exactly right. 22 00:02:14,814 --> 00:02:17,654 What you'd keep in it is a basket-making company. 23 00:02:17,654 --> 00:02:18,894 Wow! No way. 24 00:02:18,894 --> 00:02:21,894 It is a seven-storey picnic basket. 25 00:02:21,894 --> 00:02:24,614 It was built as the headquarters for a basket-making company 26 00:02:24,614 --> 00:02:27,174 called Longaberger Company. 27 00:02:27,174 --> 00:02:31,094 That guy's enormous! He's making it there... 28 00:02:31,094 --> 00:02:33,054 It's a giant! 29 00:02:33,054 --> 00:02:37,254 It cost 32 million to build. It's in a place called Newark, Ohio. 30 00:02:37,254 --> 00:02:39,334 Worth it, worth it. 31 00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:41,534 It was the brainchild of Mr Dave Longaberger, 32 00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:44,054 and at one point, the architects tried to talk him out of it, 33 00:02:44,054 --> 00:02:45,974 they said it was a very bad idea, and he said... 34 00:02:45,974 --> 00:02:48,294 .."If they can put a man on the moon, 35 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:51,454 "they can certainly build a building that's shaped like a basket". 36 00:02:52,654 --> 00:02:53,854 You say brainchild... Yeah. 37 00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:54,934 Hmm. Yeah. 38 00:02:54,934 --> 00:02:58,134 Unfortunately, Mr Longaberger is no longer with us 39 00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:01,254 and the Longaberger Company has downsized and relocated. 40 00:03:01,254 --> 00:03:02,534 It's rather sad, isn't it? 41 00:03:02,534 --> 00:03:06,254 Was he buried in a coffin made in a massive coffin-shaped factory? 42 00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:08,334 Yeah. 43 00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:11,334 What do you think gets made in this building? 44 00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:13,574 So it's the middle bit that we're really interested in, 45 00:03:13,574 --> 00:03:15,654 the very long bit, what do you think it was? 46 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,534 Oh, now, is that the rope-making place at Chatham? 47 00:03:18,534 --> 00:03:21,014 It is absolutely the rope-making place in Chatham. 48 00:03:21,014 --> 00:03:23,774 Rope has been made there since 1618, 49 00:03:23,774 --> 00:03:26,934 and it's where all the strands are woven together to make the rope. 50 00:03:26,934 --> 00:03:30,134 I know it because I've been in it. Have you? Why were you in it? 51 00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:31,934 We were doing a Horizon documentary 52 00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,934 about how long is a piece of string... 53 00:03:33,934 --> 00:03:35,654 Oh! ..and, er... 54 00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:36,854 Well, well, well, how... 55 00:03:36,854 --> 00:03:38,934 That's the sort of thing Horizon ought to be doing. 56 00:03:39,974 --> 00:03:42,574 They've got a building about a quarter of a mile long, 57 00:03:42,574 --> 00:03:45,014 the ropes go almost as far as you can see properly. 58 00:03:45,014 --> 00:03:47,214 They make very, very long ropes indeed. 59 00:03:47,214 --> 00:03:49,854 They do, and it's really, really tough work. 60 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:54,014 You start the rope-making process by combing the raw hemp fibre 61 00:03:54,014 --> 00:03:57,014 across boards with long iron pins - they're called hatchels - 62 00:03:57,014 --> 00:03:59,614 and it straightens the fibres, and then they use whale oil 63 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,694 to lubricate the fibres, which is known as train oil. 64 00:04:02,694 --> 00:04:04,374 Did you say whale oil? 65 00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:05,854 Whale oil, yes. 66 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,534 A whale is part oil. 67 00:04:07,534 --> 00:04:10,094 I have a recipe. Do you want more? 68 00:04:10,094 --> 00:04:11,374 Is there a vegan version? 69 00:04:13,614 --> 00:04:16,454 It would be nice if you could tap into the whale and get some oil, 70 00:04:16,454 --> 00:04:19,054 without having to drag it out and slice it up. 71 00:04:19,054 --> 00:04:21,054 Yeah, what, like a tap? Yeah. 72 00:04:21,054 --> 00:04:22,814 What are those things you stick in trees, 73 00:04:22,814 --> 00:04:25,054 you know, that you wind in and then the sap comes out? 74 00:04:25,054 --> 00:04:27,574 To get the sap out. So you could do that with a whale. 75 00:04:27,574 --> 00:04:29,134 It wouldn't be pleasant. No. 76 00:04:30,214 --> 00:04:33,574 If you said to the whale, "Look, you've got two options here." 77 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:34,614 Yeah. Yeah. 78 00:04:35,934 --> 00:04:37,894 "Either we put a tap on you..." 79 00:04:37,894 --> 00:04:38,934 Yeah? 80 00:04:38,934 --> 00:04:41,294 "..or we slice you into pieces. What's it going to be?" 81 00:04:41,294 --> 00:04:43,493 You have to then go, you have to go five miles away 82 00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:44,733 to hear the answer. 83 00:04:47,493 --> 00:04:49,293 "I think he said tap. Let's do it." 84 00:04:49,293 --> 00:04:52,293 Do you know when they have a barrel 85 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,013 and they put a tap in the side of the barrel? Yes. 86 00:04:55,013 --> 00:04:56,533 Er, that's called a cock. 87 00:04:58,373 --> 00:05:00,453 And that's why your cock's called a cock, 88 00:05:00,453 --> 00:05:02,493 because it looks like you've got a tap. 89 00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:06,733 I think it depends very much on the weather. 90 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,053 Right. 91 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,253 I have a picnic here for you. 92 00:05:17,253 --> 00:05:18,533 Ooh! 93 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:21,373 Now, I've got some packed lunches for you here. 94 00:05:21,373 --> 00:05:23,453 Rachel, that's for you, darling. Oh, thank you! 95 00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,933 You're going to have a Cornish pasty. Yes! 96 00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:28,533 Richard, you've got ham sandwiches. 97 00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:32,053 Romesh, you've got a toast sandwich, that's for you. 98 00:05:35,453 --> 00:05:37,693 I'll be honest, Alan, yours looks... 99 00:05:37,693 --> 00:05:39,733 ..a little tiny bit mouldy. 100 00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:44,613 So, what quite interesting thing can you tell me about your snacks? 101 00:05:44,613 --> 00:05:45,933 Richard, ham sandwiches. 102 00:05:45,933 --> 00:05:47,093 In nature... Yes? 103 00:05:47,093 --> 00:05:49,653 ..they're the only thing that grows in triangles. 104 00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:54,893 Well, here's the extraordinary thing - 105 00:05:54,893 --> 00:05:57,613 so 1851, we know from a census 106 00:05:57,613 --> 00:06:01,493 that 436,800 sandwiches were sold on the streets of London, 107 00:06:01,493 --> 00:06:04,893 and they were all ham, every single one. 108 00:06:04,893 --> 00:06:07,693 They didn't sell any other sandwich? They just sold ham sandwiches. 109 00:06:07,693 --> 00:06:10,733 Do you know who invented the pre-packaged sandwich? 110 00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:11,773 And when...? Er... 111 00:06:11,773 --> 00:06:15,253 Er, no. I don't know why I started speaking there. I've got no idea. 112 00:06:15,253 --> 00:06:17,213 Would it be a Joe Lyons tea shop? 113 00:06:17,213 --> 00:06:19,733 No, it's much more recent than you might imagine, it's M&S... 114 00:06:19,733 --> 00:06:21,973 - M&S?! - M&S?! - 1980. 115 00:06:21,973 --> 00:06:23,173 Wow. What? 116 00:06:23,173 --> 00:06:25,893 Apparently, an assistant wrapped up some leftover sandwiches 117 00:06:25,893 --> 00:06:28,613 from the cafe and put them out for sale and then it took off. 118 00:06:28,613 --> 00:06:32,093 So, in 1980, somebody had some leftover sandwiches 119 00:06:32,093 --> 00:06:33,653 and put them on the shelf to sell? 120 00:06:33,653 --> 00:06:35,293 Well, they were left over from the cafe - 121 00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:37,133 they wrapped them up and put them out to sell. 122 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:39,853 This is like freestyling it, just going for it and see what happens? 123 00:06:39,853 --> 00:06:41,173 Yeah, just go for it, sell them. 124 00:06:41,173 --> 00:06:43,333 So the most popular ones, egg mayonnaise, BLT 125 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:46,293 and chicken salad, those are the ones that make all the money. 126 00:06:46,293 --> 00:06:49,213 All morally corrupt, those sandwiches, just so you know. 127 00:06:49,213 --> 00:06:51,653 Am I right, my vegan brothers and sisters, yeah? 128 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,093 Romesh, let's have a look at your toast sandwich. 129 00:06:55,093 --> 00:06:57,493 What have you got in it? Er... 130 00:06:58,973 --> 00:07:00,493 No need to rip it like that, darling. 131 00:07:00,493 --> 00:07:02,773 If you'd just opened the bag, we could have reused it. 132 00:07:02,773 --> 00:07:04,733 What is wrong with you? It's got my name on it. 133 00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:07,373 It's very unlikely you're going to have another Romesh on this. 134 00:07:07,373 --> 00:07:09,773 Or even me, based on how this is going. 135 00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,373 Tell us what's in your sandwich. 136 00:07:17,373 --> 00:07:18,853 So my sandwich has toast in it. 137 00:07:18,853 --> 00:07:20,613 Yes, it is literally a toast sandwich. 138 00:07:20,613 --> 00:07:22,973 Yes. And I can give you a fact about this. Go on, then. 139 00:07:22,973 --> 00:07:26,733 One day, Romesh Ranganathan was given this on QI 140 00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:28,493 and was very insulted. 141 00:07:30,213 --> 00:07:33,573 OK, so this is an historic sandwich. So Mrs Beeton, the great Mrs Beeton, 142 00:07:33,573 --> 00:07:35,973 her Book Of Household Management in 1861, 143 00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:38,213 she had a recipe for a toast sandwich. 144 00:07:38,213 --> 00:07:41,413 It was a piece of toast, seasoned with salt and pepper, 145 00:07:41,413 --> 00:07:44,453 and served between two slices of bread. 146 00:07:44,453 --> 00:07:47,853 Wow. In many ways, she didn't need to write that down, did she? 147 00:07:47,853 --> 00:07:49,413 No. I mean, no. 148 00:07:49,413 --> 00:07:52,012 She says, "This sandwich will be very tempting" 149 00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:54,172 "to the appetite of an invalid." 150 00:07:55,652 --> 00:07:57,932 I've got to tell you, it's delicious. Is it good? 151 00:07:57,932 --> 00:07:59,172 Mm. Toast sandwich. 152 00:07:59,172 --> 00:08:01,612 That's a good idea, like, it's all about texture, isn't it? 153 00:08:01,612 --> 00:08:03,852 And I bet that's got a lovely texture to it. 154 00:08:03,852 --> 00:08:06,052 Big up Mrs Beeton. Yep. She's absolutely smashed it. 155 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:10,772 Rachel, Cornish pasty, what do we know about the Cornish pasty? 156 00:08:10,772 --> 00:08:12,732 Well, this bit is where you hold it. 157 00:08:12,732 --> 00:08:14,932 Yes. That's called the... 158 00:08:14,932 --> 00:08:16,852 ..handle. Yes. 159 00:08:16,852 --> 00:08:18,132 Famously. 160 00:08:18,132 --> 00:08:23,172 Um, or in other parts of the south, they call it the edge. 161 00:08:24,492 --> 00:08:26,332 And why was it created? 162 00:08:26,332 --> 00:08:27,532 For miners. 163 00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:30,052 Absolutely right. It was a portable lunch, basically, 164 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,252 to take down the mines, you're absolutely right. 165 00:08:32,252 --> 00:08:34,012 Is it true that in those pasties... 166 00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:36,452 Yeah...they put the pudding in the pasty as well? 167 00:08:36,452 --> 00:08:39,092 Yeah, so it was perfectly possible to have the savoury bit one end 168 00:08:39,092 --> 00:08:41,372 and the sweet bit the other end, so you can see one there 169 00:08:41,372 --> 00:08:43,492 which has got a bit of savoury and... 170 00:08:43,492 --> 00:08:45,892 So is that a pastry barrier? A little pastry barrier, yeah. 171 00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:47,492 Cos if they didn't have enough pastry, 172 00:08:47,492 --> 00:08:49,932 slam a bit of toast in there, that'd do the same thing. 173 00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:52,292 It's not the only one that does that, actually, Romesh. 174 00:08:52,292 --> 00:08:54,692 A Bedfordshire clanger looks more like a long sausage roll 175 00:08:54,692 --> 00:08:57,052 and again, it's two-thirds savoury and one third sweet. 176 00:08:57,052 --> 00:08:58,292 They did that on the Bake Off. 177 00:08:58,292 --> 00:08:59,572 Did they? I didn't see. 178 00:09:05,572 --> 00:09:08,852 Can I just say, we should whisper this if anybody in Cornwall 179 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:13,292 is listening, but the oldest Cornish pasty recipe... 180 00:09:13,292 --> 00:09:14,652 ..comes from Devon. 181 00:09:14,652 --> 00:09:15,892 Oh! 182 00:09:17,212 --> 00:09:18,852 Did you hear that, Cornwall? 183 00:09:18,852 --> 00:09:21,092 You didn't even come up with a pasty, losers! 184 00:09:22,412 --> 00:09:26,572 The Devon one is from 1510, the Cornish oldest one is from 1746. 185 00:09:28,332 --> 00:09:30,292 Are you enjoying that toast sandwich?! 186 00:09:30,292 --> 00:09:32,252 It's just, you think it's going to be boring 187 00:09:32,252 --> 00:09:33,972 but the middle bread just tastes 188 00:09:33,972 --> 00:09:36,012 so different from the other two pieces! 189 00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:40,052 You've really gone full circle on it. 190 00:09:40,052 --> 00:09:42,732 Honestly, I think it might be the best thing I've ever eaten. 191 00:09:43,812 --> 00:09:46,412 Well, you're a vegan, so I'm not surprised. 192 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,332 Boo! 193 00:09:52,052 --> 00:09:53,652 I just remembered I know a thing. 194 00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:55,892 Oh, wow! About Cornish pasties. OK. 195 00:09:55,892 --> 00:09:57,452 That picture reminded me. Yes? 196 00:09:57,452 --> 00:09:58,932 Those ones where it's all... 197 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,212 The crimping. Crimping, I was going to say! 198 00:10:01,212 --> 00:10:03,372 I have all the baking terms that you need. 199 00:10:03,372 --> 00:10:05,812 Yes. It was just going to be that it's called crimping. 200 00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:07,172 Oh. 201 00:10:09,172 --> 00:10:11,532 Right, Alan's eaten his sandwich, 202 00:10:11,532 --> 00:10:14,412 I said it was mouldy but this is actually a rather brilliant thing, 203 00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:17,732 this is a mouldy anti-theft sandwich bag! 204 00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:22,132 So the sandwich is not mouldy at all, the idea is to stop people 205 00:10:22,132 --> 00:10:23,932 nicking it out of the fridge! 206 00:10:23,932 --> 00:10:25,572 Didn't work with Alan. No, clearly not. 207 00:10:25,572 --> 00:10:27,772 It was an invention by a New York engineer and designer 208 00:10:27,772 --> 00:10:29,972 called Sherwood Forlee, and he's also come up with... 209 00:10:29,972 --> 00:10:32,092 I think this is clever, Richard. You'll like this. 210 00:10:32,092 --> 00:10:34,492 It's a jar which has a lid on the top and the bottom, 211 00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:36,852 so that you can get all the bits out of the bottom of the jar. 212 00:10:36,852 --> 00:10:38,932 Don't you think that's clever? That is a good idea, 213 00:10:38,932 --> 00:10:40,652 other than you'd open both bits at once. 214 00:10:40,652 --> 00:10:42,612 That would be my worry. Great surprise, though. 215 00:10:42,612 --> 00:10:45,412 Like a sort of awful glass Christmas cracker. I like it. 216 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:49,012 - Here's a tip, though. If you've got a jar... - Yeah? - ...of pesto sauce. 217 00:10:49,012 --> 00:10:51,652 Oh, right. Quite hard to get all of it out. Yeah. 218 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,052 All that you do, you put a bit of olive oil in there, 219 00:10:54,052 --> 00:10:57,212 and some balsamic, shake it up. Lovely dressing. Mm. Also... 220 00:10:57,212 --> 00:11:01,091 Or a pressure washer, if you've ever used one of those. That's... 221 00:11:01,091 --> 00:11:04,211 That is terrific. Do your patio, then get the Marmite out. 222 00:11:05,451 --> 00:11:07,451 Or what you can do is just get the bottom of the jar 223 00:11:07,451 --> 00:11:09,371 with the pesto in it and just smash the jar 224 00:11:09,371 --> 00:11:11,251 and just sprinkle that into the pasta. 225 00:11:13,171 --> 00:11:15,531 Sometimes having kids is stressful. Yeah. 226 00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:21,611 Right, we are going to move on to drinks. 227 00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:26,051 What does water taste like? Is my question. Oh, man. 228 00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:29,611 Like plastic straws these days. Am I right, Richard...? 229 00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:35,011 There you are, my darling. Can you pass one to Richard? 230 00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,331 So here is the thing. 231 00:11:36,331 --> 00:11:38,851 There was a team from Caltech University in California, 232 00:11:38,851 --> 00:11:42,531 and they gave water to mice, and they studied their tongues, 233 00:11:42,531 --> 00:11:45,131 and they discovered that when you drink water, 234 00:11:45,131 --> 00:11:49,091 it stimulated their sour taste sensors. 235 00:11:49,091 --> 00:11:51,371 So they used something called optogenetics, 236 00:11:51,371 --> 00:11:53,691 and they actually triggered those same cells 237 00:11:53,691 --> 00:11:56,371 using blue light instead of water, 238 00:11:56,371 --> 00:11:59,251 and even though the mice weren't getting any water, 239 00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:01,611 they carried on "drinking" the light 240 00:12:01,611 --> 00:12:06,211 because it stimulated those same cells as when they get actual water. 241 00:12:06,211 --> 00:12:08,891 The mice after: "Mate, I tell you what, I am parched." 242 00:12:08,891 --> 00:12:10,851 "I've been drinking that light all day" 243 00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:13,651 "but it's doing absolutely nothing for me." 244 00:12:13,651 --> 00:12:15,611 So apparently it tastes sort of sour. 245 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,251 Here is an extraordinary thing. 246 00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:19,851 There is a water sommelier in a bar in Los Angeles 247 00:12:19,851 --> 00:12:24,571 called Ray's & Stark Bar. They have a 45-page water menu. 248 00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:26,011 Oh! Oh... 249 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,651 It features water from ten different countries. 250 00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:29,891 There's a range of prices. 251 00:12:29,891 --> 00:12:32,211 The queue of mice outside is unbelievable. 252 00:12:33,451 --> 00:12:34,731 There's a water called Berg. 253 00:12:34,731 --> 00:12:36,931 It's harvested from glaciers in western Greenland. 254 00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:38,251 It's 20 a bottle. 255 00:12:38,251 --> 00:12:40,771 Evian, 8 a bottle. 256 00:12:40,771 --> 00:12:43,371 So the reason that some tap waters taste different - 257 00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:47,251 it's what they call the TDS, or total dissolved solids, 258 00:12:47,251 --> 00:12:50,451 that are in the water. Oh, dear. Ugh! Yeah. 259 00:12:50,451 --> 00:12:53,051 Well, it's actually calcium and magnesium and potassium. 260 00:12:53,051 --> 00:12:54,531 People say that about Guinness, 261 00:12:54,531 --> 00:12:57,131 cos it has to be brewed near to where it's sold. 262 00:12:57,131 --> 00:13:01,371 But, funnily enough, after two, they all taste much the same. Yeah. 263 00:13:01,371 --> 00:13:02,651 That's absolutely true. 264 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:05,371 There is an annual International Water Tasting Competition 265 00:13:05,371 --> 00:13:06,771 in West Virginia. 266 00:13:06,771 --> 00:13:10,731 There was a press release after the 2018 event, and it noted, 267 00:13:10,731 --> 00:13:12,891 "The water was filled with water enthusiasts" 268 00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:15,011 "coming from as far as Australia..." 269 00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,771 "..and Oklahoma." 270 00:13:17,771 --> 00:13:20,571 There are things to look for. So it should be clear. 271 00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:22,091 There should be no smell at all, 272 00:13:22,091 --> 00:13:23,771 it should feel very light in your mouth, 273 00:13:23,771 --> 00:13:26,731 and the main thing is it should leave you thirsty for more. 274 00:13:26,731 --> 00:13:29,971 You like it? It tastes like you'd die without it. Yeah. 275 00:13:29,971 --> 00:13:32,251 Almost as if it was a vital life source. 276 00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:35,051 It is sometimes, actually, the only thing that you want. 277 00:13:35,051 --> 00:13:36,971 Right, let's put the cups away. 278 00:13:36,971 --> 00:13:39,331 Do you want the rest of your toast sandwich now, Rom? 279 00:13:39,331 --> 00:13:41,851 I'll eat it... Did you actually like it, Romesh? 280 00:13:41,851 --> 00:13:43,411 I did, I feel nervous about saying, 281 00:13:43,411 --> 00:13:45,611 cos I'm being persecuted as a vegan on this show, 282 00:13:45,611 --> 00:13:47,491 but, um, it tasted all right. 283 00:13:47,491 --> 00:13:50,291 I didn't know you were a vegan, you should mention it occasionally. 284 00:13:57,531 --> 00:13:58,731 Ahem. 285 00:13:58,731 --> 00:14:00,291 How long have you been a vegan? 286 00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:03,331 I've been a vegan for five years, Sandi. 287 00:14:03,331 --> 00:14:06,091 OK. Was it to do with feeling sorry for animals, or what was it? 288 00:14:06,091 --> 00:14:09,210 No, I just sort of wanted to feel better than people, you know? 289 00:14:10,610 --> 00:14:12,610 Oh, so, a smugness thing. Yeah, I just sort of... 290 00:14:12,610 --> 00:14:15,650 Also, two cows came round and kidnapped his children. 291 00:14:18,970 --> 00:14:22,410 That's too difficult to talk about cos no-one believes it, 292 00:14:22,410 --> 00:14:25,290 so he's got to go through this whole thing. 293 00:14:26,890 --> 00:14:29,570 Is that because children should be seen and not HERD? 294 00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:39,530 Where did the first-ever picnic take place? 295 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,090 The garden. 296 00:14:48,290 --> 00:14:49,770 Outdoors. In the... 297 00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:54,370 I thought I was fairly safe there. 298 00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:57,290 The earliest picnics took place indoors, 299 00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:59,090 it was a sort of potluck supper 300 00:14:59,090 --> 00:15:02,210 in which each guest brought some food for the meal. 301 00:15:02,210 --> 00:15:04,010 I've got to make an admission here, 302 00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:06,850 just based on what we've said in the last 30 seconds, 303 00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:09,010 I don't think I know what a picnic is. 304 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:11,690 If you're having a picnic inside, that is a meal. 305 00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:12,730 Is it? 306 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,250 We now think of it as an entirely outdoor thing, 307 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,210 but it was absolutely an indoor pursuit 308 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,850 and, in fact, some of the earliest regular picnics 309 00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:23,930 were held by a group of Londoners who formed The Picnic Society 310 00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:26,530 and they used to meet at a wonderful place called the Pantheon 311 00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:32,010 in Oxford Street in the early 1800s and it was always indoors. 312 00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:35,210 What I quite like about this is, the Pantheon is no longer there 313 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:38,490 but on that site is an M&S, so you could in fact go 314 00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:42,250 to the Pantheon and buy yourself a picnic. 315 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,570 And maybe a packaged sandwich from 1980. 316 00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:46,450 From 1980, yes, would be ideal. 317 00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:51,130 So the first time we go outdoors, Romesh, is the early 19th century, 318 00:15:51,130 --> 00:15:53,730 so the British and indeed the American graveyards 319 00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:57,010 became very crowded and for the very first time they began to be built 320 00:15:57,010 --> 00:16:00,290 further out of town and that's the very first place where people 321 00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:02,690 would go to enjoy some green space out of the cities, 322 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:03,930 and they would pack a picnic 323 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,250 and they would enjoy a day out in the cemeteries. 324 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,610 You're shaking your head. 325 00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:10,410 Well, in Italy, they go to the opera, don't they? 326 00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:13,330 The big outdoor opera - they sit up the back in the cheap seats, 327 00:16:13,330 --> 00:16:16,570 and they take wine and salami and bread and they have a big picnic. 328 00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:19,490 Yeah. The opera goes on for hours, they all know the songs. 329 00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:20,970 That's a day out. Yeah. 330 00:16:20,970 --> 00:16:22,610 THAT'S just morbid. Yeah. 331 00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:26,090 It is a bit strange, isn't it? Yeah. 332 00:16:26,090 --> 00:16:27,730 But, in fact, the first public parks 333 00:16:27,730 --> 00:16:29,890 are actually based on these cemeteries. 334 00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:32,570 In fact, the top three attractions in the United States 335 00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,130 were Niagara Falls, George Washington's house 336 00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:37,850 and Mount Auburn Cemetery in Massachusetts. 337 00:16:37,850 --> 00:16:40,410 You know, today, you have all sorts of things in cemeteries. 338 00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:42,290 There are people who have yoga classes, 339 00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,410 people who go bird-watching, film festivals... 340 00:16:44,410 --> 00:16:46,730 I went to one the other day that had a helter-skelter, 341 00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:49,450 I thought, "Come on, this is a bit much." That's getting bit silly. 342 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:50,890 Crazy golf is a good option. 343 00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,530 A lot of obstacles you need to get around. 344 00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:59,530 Right, back to the great outdoors now, here's a question about pests. 345 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:05,330 What is the best way to keep those pesky wasps at bay? 346 00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:08,890 A jar of something that they like, and then they go to it. 347 00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:10,450 To kill them or to just trap them? 348 00:17:10,450 --> 00:17:13,410 Well, if they get stuck in there, not much you can do. 349 00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:16,450 What if the jar's got two... A top and a bottom? 350 00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:18,609 What do you reckon, Richard? 351 00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:19,969 A wasp gun? I don't know. 352 00:17:19,969 --> 00:17:23,409 A wasp gun is a gun that fires wasps, isn't it? 353 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,409 You're just adding to the problem, aren't you, 354 00:17:25,409 --> 00:17:27,289 just generating more and more of them. 355 00:17:27,289 --> 00:17:29,409 It fires them a long way away, Romesh. 356 00:17:29,409 --> 00:17:32,649 Makes them angry, though, and when they come back... 357 00:17:32,649 --> 00:17:34,809 It's like that joke about the... 358 00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:38,489 About the bloke who throws a snail off his front step. 359 00:17:38,489 --> 00:17:41,329 And then three days later the doorbell goes, 360 00:17:41,329 --> 00:17:42,929 and the snail goes, "What?!" 361 00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:50,609 Do you know the one about the moth who goes to see the physiotherapist? 362 00:17:50,609 --> 00:17:52,689 No. The physiotherapist goes, "Can I help you?" 363 00:17:52,689 --> 00:17:54,369 She says, "Oh, I'm just very depressed." 364 00:17:54,369 --> 00:17:56,009 "I don't know what's the matter with me." 365 00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:57,689 "I just feel so low the whole time." 366 00:17:57,689 --> 00:17:59,489 And he says, "Well, I'm a physiotherapist." 367 00:17:59,489 --> 00:18:01,609 "You should see a shrink. Why have you come in here?" 368 00:18:01,609 --> 00:18:03,409 And she says, "Oh, the light was on." 369 00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:12,449 What are you...?! Are you clapping that but you don't clap the snail? 370 00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:16,089 I felt I was more in the character, if I'm honest. 371 00:18:16,089 --> 00:18:18,169 Yeah, I suppose you gave it a little bit more. 372 00:18:18,169 --> 00:18:20,169 And also, how did the snail ring the doorbell? 373 00:18:20,169 --> 00:18:22,129 Just... It falls apart. 374 00:18:24,049 --> 00:18:28,369 You'd have your doorbell really low down in case the snail comes round. 375 00:18:28,369 --> 00:18:31,009 So, the best way to keep a wasp away from a picnic, 376 00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:36,129 they send out scouts, the wasps, to go and see where the best food is. 377 00:18:36,129 --> 00:18:39,689 If you see the first couple, take them hostage. Oh, OK. 378 00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:42,729 If you trap them, they cannot report back to the nest 379 00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:45,369 about the food source, but if you kill them, 380 00:18:45,369 --> 00:18:47,169 they can release a pheromone 381 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:50,449 and the other wasps go, "What? What's going on? What's going on?" 382 00:18:50,449 --> 00:18:52,809 They get the pheromone smell... Yeah. 383 00:18:52,809 --> 00:18:55,129 They go, "Can anyone else smell Dave?" Yeah. Yeah. 384 00:18:56,769 --> 00:19:00,169 Top tip about wasps - check drink cans before you take a swig. 385 00:19:00,169 --> 00:19:03,089 Don't say that. Always look at what you're putting in your mouth, Sandi. 386 00:19:03,089 --> 00:19:04,769 Yeah. First, absolute... 387 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,169 That rule will never fail you. 388 00:19:08,569 --> 00:19:11,369 But also thin straws, as well, cos they can't get up a thin straw. 389 00:19:11,369 --> 00:19:13,649 Not plastic ones, though, please. No. 390 00:19:13,649 --> 00:19:16,809 Just because I care about the environment, I use a teak straw. 391 00:19:16,809 --> 00:19:19,729 Teak that's inlaid with ivory. It's got my initials on it. 392 00:19:20,929 --> 00:19:23,169 And I carry... I don't re-use it, cos I've got hundreds, 393 00:19:23,169 --> 00:19:25,009 but I could re-use it if I wanted to. 394 00:19:27,049 --> 00:19:29,289 But you shouldn't kill wasps at all because... 395 00:19:29,289 --> 00:19:32,529 That's really good, so just catch them and that's it. 396 00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:34,569 Yeah, because they do some fantastic good work. 397 00:19:34,569 --> 00:19:37,649 Oh, do they? I doubt that very much. I hate them. 398 00:19:37,649 --> 00:19:39,569 OK, so here's the thing that you may not know, 399 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,809 so social wasps eat cockroaches and spiders. 400 00:19:42,809 --> 00:19:46,529 There is a woman whose Twitter handle is @waspwoman, 401 00:19:46,529 --> 00:19:48,089 Dr Seirian Sumner, 402 00:19:48,089 --> 00:19:51,809 she estimates they eat 14 million kilogrammes of insects per year 403 00:19:51,809 --> 00:19:53,049 in the UK. 404 00:19:53,049 --> 00:19:54,089 Each? 405 00:19:54,089 --> 00:19:55,489 Not each, no. Oh, right. 406 00:19:56,889 --> 00:19:59,369 No, as a team effort. Oh, OK. Yeah. 407 00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:02,369 There is another thing you can do. It's only anecdotal evidence, 408 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,209 but you can hang a paper bag up in a tree, 409 00:20:05,209 --> 00:20:09,649 and that will ward off wasps if they mistake it for another wasp nest. 410 00:20:09,649 --> 00:20:11,489 They stay away, cos they don't want to fight 411 00:20:11,489 --> 00:20:13,729 with a bunch of other wasps that they don't know. 412 00:20:13,729 --> 00:20:16,249 OK. Let's go to Italy. 413 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,969 So what do they do in Italy 414 00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:21,769 to stop people eating their lunches as picnics? 415 00:20:22,969 --> 00:20:24,409 So have a look here. 416 00:20:24,409 --> 00:20:27,448 This is, of course, the gorgeous Basilica of Santa Croce. 417 00:20:27,448 --> 00:20:29,928 You don't want people having a picnic on the steps, do you? 418 00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:32,488 No, but what they want is for you to respect the place. 419 00:20:32,488 --> 00:20:35,608 This particular building is the place where you will find 420 00:20:35,608 --> 00:20:39,328 the burial places of Michelangelo, Galileo, Machiavelli, Rossini, 421 00:20:39,328 --> 00:20:41,128 it's like all this greatness of Italy 422 00:20:41,128 --> 00:20:43,888 and they don't want people just eating sandwiches on the steps, 423 00:20:43,888 --> 00:20:46,968 so they had a really simple idea how to stop them doing this. 424 00:20:46,968 --> 00:20:50,128 Was it that they get the spooky voices of all those dead people 425 00:20:50,128 --> 00:20:52,048 on a loudspeaker? 426 00:20:52,048 --> 00:20:54,808 "Stop eating sandwiches!" 427 00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:56,848 "Hey, this is a-Michelangelo!" 428 00:20:56,848 --> 00:20:58,488 "I see you've brought a sandwich!" 429 00:20:58,488 --> 00:21:01,448 "Why you ruin-a the steps with your sandwiches?" 430 00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:04,328 "You need to stop!" 431 00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:06,968 "It's me, Rossini!" 432 00:21:06,968 --> 00:21:08,888 "I'm-a going to be crazy angry" 433 00:21:08,888 --> 00:21:11,968 "when you're eating a sandwich on the step-as!" 434 00:21:13,128 --> 00:21:15,808 Sorry, none of these are spooky enough voices! 435 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,368 No. Too jolly! 436 00:21:17,368 --> 00:21:20,448 Don't you want to see a film where Romesh plays Michelangelo? 437 00:21:22,808 --> 00:21:25,168 "I'm-a going to do a ceiling-a picture!" 438 00:21:30,328 --> 00:21:33,768 "This one is-a God. This one? That's-a Jesus, that one!" 439 00:21:35,448 --> 00:21:37,488 "It's good, eh?" 440 00:21:37,488 --> 00:21:40,568 They did a really simple thing, they hosed down the steps. 441 00:21:40,568 --> 00:21:42,208 While you're having a picnic? 442 00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:45,048 To stop people, they simply washed the steps. 443 00:21:45,048 --> 00:21:46,688 With water? With water. 444 00:21:46,688 --> 00:21:49,168 And it stopped people sitting down because you... 445 00:21:49,168 --> 00:21:50,728 Cos they're wet. Cos they're wet. 446 00:21:50,728 --> 00:21:53,648 And they're very concerned about their buildings, 447 00:21:53,648 --> 00:21:56,288 has anybody been to the Trevi Fountain in Rome? Mm-hm. 448 00:21:56,288 --> 00:21:59,328 They have a whole squad of volunteer retired police officers 449 00:21:59,328 --> 00:22:02,168 guarding it, cos apparently people like to swim in it. 450 00:22:02,168 --> 00:22:04,488 So you can be fined for sitting on the fountains, 451 00:22:04,488 --> 00:22:06,168 for washing your feet in them, 452 00:22:06,168 --> 00:22:08,448 letting your pets play, water fights... 453 00:22:08,448 --> 00:22:11,048 Thus far, I'm still hearing you can have a wee, no problem. 454 00:22:11,048 --> 00:22:12,288 Yeah. 455 00:22:12,288 --> 00:22:16,328 I went to Florence and I saw... By some miracle there wasn't a queue. 456 00:22:16,328 --> 00:22:19,008 ..Michelangelo's statue of David... 457 00:22:19,008 --> 00:22:20,608 "It's a great-a statue!" 458 00:22:22,528 --> 00:22:26,008 "You go all the way behind, see everything!" 459 00:22:26,008 --> 00:22:29,648 "It's got massive hands, a tiny winky. That's how we do it." 460 00:22:30,768 --> 00:22:33,528 "I'll tell you who it is, it's Rossini, don't tell anyone!" 461 00:22:35,168 --> 00:22:36,768 But what I was going to say was... 462 00:22:38,408 --> 00:22:40,968 No, no, I think they've got more to do! 463 00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:44,088 There's a replica of it outside. Right. 464 00:22:44,088 --> 00:22:46,768 And, honestly, you can't tell the difference. No. 465 00:22:46,768 --> 00:22:49,048 So don't bother queueing up and going in. 466 00:22:49,048 --> 00:22:50,648 I agree. It does look exactly the same. 467 00:22:50,648 --> 00:22:52,288 But the thing about the Italian accent, 468 00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,608 it lends itself to being funny. 469 00:22:53,608 --> 00:22:55,808 I was in Pisa, and I wanted to get the train to Florence. 470 00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:57,768 And I said, "I wonder if you can tell me" 471 00:22:57,768 --> 00:22:59,328 "when the next train to Florence is." 472 00:22:59,328 --> 00:23:03,688 And the guy said, "The next-a train to Florence is at-a 12 o'clock." 473 00:23:03,688 --> 00:23:06,168 And I said, "Yeah, but it's 12:10 now." 474 00:23:06,168 --> 00:23:07,608 He said, "Well, you missed it." 475 00:23:12,688 --> 00:23:15,808 OK. Let's stay with pests. 476 00:23:15,808 --> 00:23:18,768 Richard, my pointless friend. Can you name a pointless pest? 477 00:23:18,768 --> 00:23:20,288 I can name one. I won't name him, 478 00:23:20,288 --> 00:23:22,888 because he's a very esteemed colleague of mine. 479 00:23:22,888 --> 00:23:25,968 But in terms of... In terms of the drinking, he is, er... 480 00:23:25,968 --> 00:23:27,568 He's a pest. Um... 481 00:23:34,527 --> 00:23:37,527 Can I...? Can I appeal against that klaxon? 482 00:23:37,527 --> 00:23:39,847 Cos, you know, he really is... 483 00:23:43,607 --> 00:23:45,407 I don't want to have a one-on-one argument 484 00:23:45,407 --> 00:23:47,487 with whoever's pressing that button, but... 485 00:23:47,487 --> 00:23:49,487 I'm actually working it with my foot. 486 00:23:51,167 --> 00:23:56,047 Anyway, this pest is one that pretty much doesn't exist any more. 487 00:23:56,047 --> 00:23:58,167 This is why it's entirely pointless. Dodo? 488 00:23:58,167 --> 00:24:00,407 It is the false spider mite, 489 00:24:00,407 --> 00:24:03,567 but it is most specifically the male spider mite. 490 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,607 So this is a species of mite. 491 00:24:05,607 --> 00:24:09,447 It once reproduced... As one might expect, it reproduced sexually. 492 00:24:09,447 --> 00:24:12,727 But the females caught an infection 493 00:24:12,727 --> 00:24:15,247 and, since they caught the infection, 494 00:24:15,247 --> 00:24:17,447 they don't need males any more. 495 00:24:18,927 --> 00:24:23,087 It's a type of bacteria that infects the mite's egg 496 00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:26,247 and if the mite growing in the egg was male, 497 00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:29,167 the bacteria changes it to female. 498 00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:30,887 The bacteria have to live in female eggs, 499 00:24:30,887 --> 00:24:32,567 it's the only place they can survive. 500 00:24:32,567 --> 00:24:35,607 There isn't room for them to fit inside the smaller male sperm, 501 00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:40,487 so they have eradicated males in order to ensure their own survival. 502 00:24:40,487 --> 00:24:42,567 And you're saying this is what Yakult is based on? 503 00:24:45,247 --> 00:24:47,687 So the mites reproduce by parthenogenesis. 504 00:24:47,687 --> 00:24:49,967 In other words, the egg can become an embryo 505 00:24:49,967 --> 00:24:52,327 without having to be fertilised by sperm. 506 00:24:52,327 --> 00:24:55,087 If you were to treat the eggs of the false spider mite 507 00:24:55,087 --> 00:24:57,527 with antibiotics and cure it of the bacteria, 508 00:24:57,527 --> 00:24:59,327 then you would hatch males. 509 00:24:59,327 --> 00:25:02,967 But, left to their own devices, they only produce females. Wow. 510 00:25:02,967 --> 00:25:05,767 I just imagine some feminist laboratory somewhere, where... 511 00:25:07,127 --> 00:25:09,567 ..they're trying to tease this up into a human form. 512 00:25:09,567 --> 00:25:12,167 Well, it could never happen in a human form. Do you know why? 513 00:25:12,167 --> 00:25:14,967 I don't know why. Because there's bits of the DNA in the male, 514 00:25:14,967 --> 00:25:18,047 there's bits of the DNA in the female, and they set each other up. 515 00:25:18,047 --> 00:25:19,847 It's called genetic imprinting, 516 00:25:19,847 --> 00:25:22,327 and it would be impossible for us ever to... 517 00:25:22,327 --> 00:25:24,327 I can see you've looked into it. Yeah. 518 00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:30,167 So there's a false spider mite and there's a true spider mite. 519 00:25:30,167 --> 00:25:32,967 And the true spider mite, the boys are real idiots, I have to say, 520 00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:35,247 because they have discovered that the male 521 00:25:35,247 --> 00:25:40,807 often chooses to court dead females rather than live ones. 522 00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,007 We've all been there. 523 00:25:44,207 --> 00:25:47,007 Last time I did it, I was having a picnic in a cemetery. 524 00:25:55,167 --> 00:25:58,167 Instead of calling them true spider mites and false spider mites, 525 00:25:58,167 --> 00:26:00,527 they should call them spider mites and spider mite-nots. 526 00:26:00,527 --> 00:26:01,967 That's what I would call them. 527 00:26:01,967 --> 00:26:04,807 Do you know what the difference is between the false and the true one? 528 00:26:04,807 --> 00:26:05,847 Yes. Go on, then. 529 00:26:05,847 --> 00:26:07,687 One's female and one's male, I thought we... 530 00:26:07,687 --> 00:26:09,407 No, no, no, so they are totally separate. 531 00:26:09,407 --> 00:26:11,327 Have you paid attention at all, Richard? 532 00:26:12,847 --> 00:26:16,047 The one thing I remember is you're vegan. Everything else has gone. 533 00:26:17,207 --> 00:26:19,847 The false one doesn't spin webs. That's the difference between 534 00:26:19,847 --> 00:26:21,887 the false one and the true one. There you go. 535 00:26:21,887 --> 00:26:24,647 So there are other animals that can reproduce by parthenogenesis 536 00:26:24,647 --> 00:26:26,727 if there's a shortage of males. 537 00:26:26,727 --> 00:26:28,847 So there are Komodo dragons, 538 00:26:28,847 --> 00:26:32,447 hammerhead sharks and whiptail lizards. 539 00:26:32,447 --> 00:26:34,727 How does a hammerhead shark get through a door? 540 00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:36,607 I mean, does it have to go on its side? 541 00:26:36,607 --> 00:26:38,367 It gets the snail to ring the bell. 542 00:26:43,006 --> 00:26:44,286 Anyway, the whiptail lizard 543 00:26:44,286 --> 00:26:46,686 has actually become an all-female species now, 544 00:26:46,686 --> 00:26:49,766 on account of the ability to reproduce by cloning, 545 00:26:49,766 --> 00:26:52,806 but they still have genetic diversity because they start off 546 00:26:52,806 --> 00:26:55,406 with twice the amount of chromosomes as you would normally find 547 00:26:55,406 --> 00:26:57,926 in a sexually reproducing individual. 548 00:26:57,926 --> 00:27:00,486 It's exactly the same as the Sugababes. 549 00:27:02,446 --> 00:27:04,486 But some male fish are being feminised 550 00:27:04,486 --> 00:27:06,246 in a completely different way. 551 00:27:06,246 --> 00:27:09,446 So they did a study at the University of Exeter in 2017, 552 00:27:09,446 --> 00:27:12,686 and it reported that a fifth of male fish in the UK 553 00:27:12,686 --> 00:27:15,446 are, sticky speaking, now intersex. 554 00:27:15,446 --> 00:27:17,606 Did you say the fish are "intersex"... Yes, darling. 555 00:27:17,606 --> 00:27:19,046 ..or "into sex"? No. 556 00:27:19,046 --> 00:27:21,206 Intersex. Intersex. Intersex. 557 00:27:21,206 --> 00:27:23,886 So what's happened is they've developed feminine behaviour, 558 00:27:23,886 --> 00:27:25,526 including they're less aggressive, 559 00:27:25,526 --> 00:27:28,006 they're not so competitive, they are producing eggs, 560 00:27:28,006 --> 00:27:31,006 they are producing, in most instances, fewer sperm. 561 00:27:31,006 --> 00:27:32,766 Anybody know why that might be? 562 00:27:32,766 --> 00:27:37,366 Is it cos we've started paying them 20% less and just it followed? 563 00:27:37,366 --> 00:27:39,046 Is it to do with everyone being on the pill 564 00:27:39,046 --> 00:27:41,086 and filling up the rivers with female hormones? 565 00:27:41,086 --> 00:27:43,126 No, see, that's the myth that used to be believed, 566 00:27:43,126 --> 00:27:44,686 that it was the contraceptive pill. 567 00:27:44,686 --> 00:27:47,566 It's the run-off from livestock manure... Oh. ..going into rivers. 568 00:27:47,566 --> 00:27:50,326 What a lovely sentence. Yeah. Yes. 569 00:27:50,326 --> 00:27:53,366 "Try and make livestock manure sound worse!" 570 00:27:53,366 --> 00:27:56,686 When you see pints of beer in pubs, they have all these odd names, 571 00:27:56,686 --> 00:28:00,846 and no-one's ever done a Run-off Of Livestock Manure. 572 00:28:00,846 --> 00:28:02,686 "A lovely pint of Run-Off, please." 573 00:28:04,326 --> 00:28:05,366 OK. 574 00:28:05,366 --> 00:28:08,406 Why did Shakespeare not suffer from hay fever? 575 00:28:08,406 --> 00:28:09,446 Benadryl? 576 00:28:11,006 --> 00:28:12,206 Is that his friend? 577 00:28:13,246 --> 00:28:16,166 Troilus and Benadryl. Yeah. Because there wasn't any? 578 00:28:16,166 --> 00:28:20,566 Because there was less pollen in the air back in the days of yore. 579 00:28:20,566 --> 00:28:24,246 Well, you're probably heading in exactly the right direction. 580 00:28:24,246 --> 00:28:26,006 Yes! Vagueness pays off! 581 00:28:26,006 --> 00:28:28,166 Yes, very good! 582 00:28:28,166 --> 00:28:30,566 So are you saying there was less pollen? I didn't know that. 583 00:28:30,566 --> 00:28:33,046 Yeah. Amazing. I could go on, but I won't. 584 00:28:33,046 --> 00:28:34,406 Yeah, yeah. 585 00:28:34,406 --> 00:28:37,646 So, basically, today one in four people have hay fever. 586 00:28:37,646 --> 00:28:42,606 It appears not to have existed until the 1800s. 587 00:28:42,606 --> 00:28:44,806 So anybody, we just picked Shakespeare at random, 588 00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:47,606 but anybody who died before then can't have had it, 589 00:28:47,606 --> 00:28:49,646 and we don't really know why. 590 00:28:49,646 --> 00:28:52,486 So the very first documented case, 1819, there was a doctor called 591 00:28:52,486 --> 00:28:56,126 John Bostock and he suffered with it and he decided to investigate, 592 00:28:56,126 --> 00:28:59,126 and he spent nine years looking for people with the condition 593 00:28:59,126 --> 00:29:01,926 and he only found 28, so it could be a change 594 00:29:01,926 --> 00:29:03,966 in the environment, the type of crops grown, 595 00:29:03,966 --> 00:29:08,686 intensity of farming, it doesn't seem to have existed at all. 596 00:29:08,686 --> 00:29:11,726 Is it possible that it did exist but they just didn't call it hay fever? 597 00:29:11,726 --> 00:29:14,046 It's like, "Geoffrey sneezes a lot, doesn't he?" 598 00:29:14,046 --> 00:29:15,966 Next year, you go, "I tell you what", 599 00:29:15,966 --> 00:29:18,406 "I've got a bit of the old Geoffrey flu." Yeah! 600 00:29:18,406 --> 00:29:20,646 Bostock called the condition summer catarrh 601 00:29:20,646 --> 00:29:21,926 and he tried to treat himself - 602 00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:23,886 I have to say these are not things I recommend - 603 00:29:23,886 --> 00:29:26,766 bleeding, cold baths, vomiting, opium, meh... 604 00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:30,046 You're open to it! Yeah, whatever. 605 00:29:30,046 --> 00:29:31,646 No success with it at all 606 00:29:31,646 --> 00:29:34,406 and then there was a scientist called Charles Blackley, 607 00:29:34,406 --> 00:29:38,446 1859, also had hay fever and he finally found the cause, 608 00:29:38,446 --> 00:29:42,086 he identified the culprit as grass. He had a load of hay on his chin. 609 00:29:43,486 --> 00:29:46,406 But what they didn't understand was why would city dwellers get it 610 00:29:46,406 --> 00:29:49,446 if it's to do with grass pollen, which is what Blackley suggested? 611 00:29:49,446 --> 00:29:51,685 Why would sailors at sea get it? 612 00:29:51,685 --> 00:29:56,605 So he flew kites with sticky paper on them at different altitudes 613 00:29:56,605 --> 00:29:59,125 and he was able to analyse the dispersal of pollen 614 00:29:59,125 --> 00:30:00,365 at various altitudes 615 00:30:00,365 --> 00:30:02,965 and established that it carried hundreds of miles out to sea. 616 00:30:02,965 --> 00:30:05,725 In fact, there is more pollen at an altitude of 1,000-2,000 feet 617 00:30:05,725 --> 00:30:07,485 than there is at ground level. 618 00:30:07,485 --> 00:30:10,405 But it's actually caused by allergic rhinitis. 619 00:30:10,405 --> 00:30:12,165 Does anybody have it here? 620 00:30:12,165 --> 00:30:15,245 I do. Do you know exactly what it is and why you get it? 621 00:30:15,245 --> 00:30:18,645 No, I don't. But I was... Well, then, you don't deserve it. 622 00:30:20,165 --> 00:30:24,005 I was told that, apparently, you can stop it by eating honey from the 623 00:30:24,005 --> 00:30:27,325 area, but I can't, because - I don't know if I mentioned - I'm vegan. 624 00:30:28,485 --> 00:30:31,085 Have you tried one of these? Now, what you have to do is you stick 625 00:30:31,085 --> 00:30:32,725 both of those up your nose. 626 00:30:32,725 --> 00:30:36,405 It's like Total Recall. Yeah. That's a bit of a niche reference. 627 00:30:36,405 --> 00:30:40,365 So, has this been...? It's clean. We haven't used it in any way at all. 628 00:30:40,365 --> 00:30:42,685 You stick it up your nose? Stick it up your nose like that. 629 00:30:42,685 --> 00:30:44,685 Argh! The blinding light from your ear! 630 00:30:47,725 --> 00:30:51,125 Finally I'm going to be able to work in panto. This is excellent. 631 00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:54,285 And then what do you do? Apparently, if you sit with it for ten minutes, 632 00:30:54,285 --> 00:30:56,525 it is supposed to calm all the inflammation down. 633 00:30:56,525 --> 00:30:59,485 I know several people who've used them, and they work very well. 634 00:30:59,485 --> 00:31:01,605 Some people don't like to take the antihistamines. 635 00:31:01,605 --> 00:31:05,645 I can't imagine preferring this to taking the antihistamines. 636 00:31:05,645 --> 00:31:09,645 Do you want to keep that one? Because nobody else wants it now. 637 00:31:09,645 --> 00:31:12,685 This is a really long-term prank by Sandi. Yeah. 638 00:31:12,685 --> 00:31:15,125 I would love it if this is completely made up. 639 00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:18,685 No, no! You could have it built into your glasses, actually. 640 00:31:20,285 --> 00:31:23,925 You look like the weirdest ever thing on a "Guess Who? board." 641 00:31:27,885 --> 00:31:30,405 In the late 19th century, they thought it was only those 642 00:31:30,405 --> 00:31:32,445 with a delicate condition who suffered it. 643 00:31:32,445 --> 00:31:35,365 So wealthier people, upper classes tended to have it. 644 00:31:35,365 --> 00:31:37,525 They were called hay feverites. 645 00:31:37,525 --> 00:31:39,885 And in fact, there were specific holiday resorts. 646 00:31:39,885 --> 00:31:42,805 People went to the lakes and to the mountains. I'd like to go there. 647 00:31:42,805 --> 00:31:45,085 Doesn't that look like fun? Lovely! 648 00:31:45,085 --> 00:31:47,925 Have they all got hay fever? Not any more! 649 00:31:47,925 --> 00:31:50,725 I like the one who's just diving straight in, feet first. 650 00:31:50,725 --> 00:31:54,605 I think she's rather... Oh, yeah! It looks like she's just emerged. 651 00:31:54,605 --> 00:31:57,565 Well, she could just be coming out the other way, yes. Whoa! 652 00:31:59,645 --> 00:32:03,445 Now, Paul McCartney and John Lennon first met at a picnic in Liverpool, 653 00:32:03,445 --> 00:32:09,645 but why are the Beatles the reason you can now eat out in Australia? 654 00:32:09,645 --> 00:32:11,605 Er, did they, like, go to a restaurant 655 00:32:11,605 --> 00:32:15,645 and they wanted to go outside and then they said, "You can't do that," 656 00:32:15,645 --> 00:32:18,165 and they said, "We'll do what we want, we're bigger than Jesus," 657 00:32:18,165 --> 00:32:19,885 and then they went and ate outside and... 658 00:32:19,885 --> 00:32:23,845 Er, no. Let's do Beatles in two different senses. 659 00:32:23,845 --> 00:32:26,525 Different sort of beetles. Oh, Richard! 660 00:32:26,525 --> 00:32:28,485 Ahh. Like you've played the game before! 661 00:32:28,485 --> 00:32:31,285 Like beetles with an E. Whoa. Ahh. 662 00:32:31,285 --> 00:32:33,405 This is just such a joke, man. 663 00:32:33,405 --> 00:32:36,525 You've said the names of the Beatles, 664 00:32:36,525 --> 00:32:38,525 you've put the photo up there. Yeah. 665 00:32:38,525 --> 00:32:40,605 And I trusted you. 666 00:32:40,605 --> 00:32:41,885 Yeah. Yeah. 667 00:32:41,885 --> 00:32:44,405 What I actually said was that they met at a picnic... Yeah. 668 00:32:44,405 --> 00:32:46,885 God knows what a picnic is any more, after this show. 669 00:32:48,125 --> 00:32:50,285 So, Australian picnicking was saved 670 00:32:50,285 --> 00:32:53,925 by the introduction of millions of dung beetles. 671 00:32:53,925 --> 00:32:56,645 So let us imagine, the Australian cattle industry 672 00:32:56,645 --> 00:33:00,124 takes off in the 1960s. What is the side-effect 673 00:33:00,124 --> 00:33:03,444 of a fantastically successful cattle industry? 674 00:33:03,444 --> 00:33:06,204 Load of manure. Poop. Loads of poop. Loads of cowpats. 675 00:33:06,204 --> 00:33:09,164 And, of course, the run-off from it. Yes. 676 00:33:09,164 --> 00:33:11,164 And the run-off from it. 677 00:33:11,164 --> 00:33:13,524 And that's how they got Foster's. 678 00:33:21,724 --> 00:33:25,164 So, the native dung beetle, they're used to a little bit 679 00:33:25,164 --> 00:33:28,804 of a dry poo, like a kangaroo poo, for example. 680 00:33:28,804 --> 00:33:31,004 They don't like the wet dung that is introduced 681 00:33:31,004 --> 00:33:32,364 by the European cattle. 682 00:33:32,364 --> 00:33:35,164 And there was a period of time when these cows were producing 683 00:33:35,164 --> 00:33:38,244 200,000 pats... 684 00:33:38,244 --> 00:33:40,164 ..per minute. 685 00:33:40,164 --> 00:33:41,204 I know. 686 00:33:41,204 --> 00:33:44,244 The poor guy that's got to count those up just to get that figure. 687 00:33:44,244 --> 00:33:46,924 I mean, Australia was in danger of disappearing entirely 688 00:33:46,924 --> 00:33:48,364 underneath a load of shit. 689 00:33:48,364 --> 00:33:49,604 And it wasn't vanishing 690 00:33:49,604 --> 00:33:52,044 because the dung beetles were not eating it, 691 00:33:52,044 --> 00:33:54,724 so there was the Australian dung beetle project 692 00:33:54,724 --> 00:33:59,844 and they imported 1.73 million beetles, 43 different species, 693 00:33:59,844 --> 00:34:03,324 and it was so successful, that is now the reason 694 00:34:03,324 --> 00:34:05,444 why Australians can enjoy a picnic. 695 00:34:05,444 --> 00:34:07,044 Look at the size of that! 696 00:34:07,044 --> 00:34:09,764 Blimey. And they ate the whole thing? 697 00:34:11,244 --> 00:34:13,724 And it does look nice and dry. 698 00:34:13,724 --> 00:34:15,284 It's spelt wrong, though. 699 00:34:16,484 --> 00:34:18,644 What are you saying it should be? 700 00:34:18,644 --> 00:34:21,364 Yes, what would you say? 701 00:34:21,364 --> 00:34:24,284 I wasn't going to say it cos the klaxon was going to go off. Ah! 702 00:34:25,604 --> 00:34:26,644 No shit! 703 00:34:32,204 --> 00:34:34,204 I was trying to lure you into my trap! 704 00:34:34,204 --> 00:34:35,924 I felt that. 705 00:34:35,924 --> 00:34:38,084 Anyway, we owe the Beatles to a picnic, 706 00:34:38,084 --> 00:34:40,324 and Aussies owe picnics to the beetles. 707 00:34:40,324 --> 00:34:42,884 Now it's time for the gathering storm that we call 708 00:34:42,884 --> 00:34:45,764 General Ignorance. Fingers on buzzers, please. 709 00:34:45,764 --> 00:34:47,524 Heading off to Italy for a moment, 710 00:34:47,524 --> 00:34:51,484 where are you if you are dining alfresco? 711 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:54,844 Rachel. 712 00:34:54,844 --> 00:34:55,884 Outside. 713 00:34:55,884 --> 00:34:58,364 Outside! 714 00:34:58,364 --> 00:35:00,364 No! I'm sure that's right! 715 00:35:00,364 --> 00:35:02,204 Do you want to try again? 716 00:35:03,244 --> 00:35:05,204 Inside! Yes! 717 00:35:05,204 --> 00:35:08,444 Absolutely right. They don't call eating outside alfresco, 718 00:35:08,444 --> 00:35:12,044 so they think of it as being in the cool, OK? 719 00:35:12,044 --> 00:35:14,604 And for them, that means being in prison. 720 00:35:14,604 --> 00:35:18,804 So it's like the English slang "in the cooler". 721 00:35:18,804 --> 00:35:21,724 So eating alfresco is to eat in prison. 722 00:35:21,724 --> 00:35:25,964 If the Italians eat outside, it's called fuori or al aperto, 723 00:35:25,964 --> 00:35:27,644 so outside the door. 724 00:35:27,644 --> 00:35:32,044 Now, what liquid can you take five times more of through security 725 00:35:32,044 --> 00:35:33,724 at Genoa Airport? 726 00:35:33,724 --> 00:35:35,564 Yes! 727 00:35:35,564 --> 00:35:37,004 Pesto? Yes! 728 00:35:50,404 --> 00:35:53,964 Like you were my own boy, I was so proud! 729 00:35:53,964 --> 00:35:55,124 How did you know that? 730 00:35:55,124 --> 00:35:56,364 Cos he's a vegan! 731 00:35:59,284 --> 00:36:01,244 I didn't know you were vegan! 732 00:36:03,364 --> 00:36:07,444 Yes, they have relaxed the ban, but only for pesto, the liquid ban. 733 00:36:07,444 --> 00:36:10,883 Passengers can now carry 500ml of pesto in their hand luggage. 734 00:36:10,883 --> 00:36:13,483 It has to be the proper stuff, not supermarket-bought, 735 00:36:13,483 --> 00:36:15,603 and they have a special machine to scan it. 736 00:36:15,603 --> 00:36:18,363 I say special, it's the same one that does breast milk. 737 00:36:19,883 --> 00:36:22,003 You have to buy a 50p stamp, 738 00:36:22,003 --> 00:36:24,883 and they give the money to something called the Flying Angels Foundation. 739 00:36:24,883 --> 00:36:27,603 The Flying Asians Foundation? No, Fly... 740 00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:30,643 That's actually how I found out about it. 741 00:36:30,643 --> 00:36:33,123 The Flying ANGELS Foundation. 742 00:36:33,123 --> 00:36:35,923 It gives free flights for children from developing countries 743 00:36:35,923 --> 00:36:37,723 who need medical attention. 744 00:36:37,723 --> 00:36:40,283 The change was because so much pesto was being confiscated, 745 00:36:40,283 --> 00:36:42,723 they thought, "This is ridiculous, we have to stop this." 746 00:36:42,723 --> 00:36:45,683 Now, they also had a problem at London City Airport. 747 00:36:45,683 --> 00:36:48,763 What was it that was being confiscated in great quantities? 748 00:36:48,763 --> 00:36:49,843 Coffee? 749 00:36:49,843 --> 00:36:52,683 No, it's particularly British in the same way as pesto... 750 00:36:52,683 --> 00:36:54,883 Marmite. It is Marmite, absolutely right, 751 00:36:54,883 --> 00:36:58,803 They ran a Marmite amnesty in July, 2017, 752 00:36:58,803 --> 00:37:01,963 and if you took through an oversized Marmite, you could swap it 753 00:37:01,963 --> 00:37:04,403 and get a small 70g one. The trouble is 754 00:37:04,403 --> 00:37:06,843 that half the security officers would let you through, 755 00:37:06,843 --> 00:37:08,403 it's the other half who wouldn't. 756 00:37:10,563 --> 00:37:13,603 The American Transportation Security Administration, the TSA, 757 00:37:13,603 --> 00:37:16,883 they have an Instagram account which Rolling Stone magazine has 758 00:37:16,883 --> 00:37:19,443 named the fourth best in the world! 759 00:37:19,443 --> 00:37:21,723 And it's the stuff that they confiscate. 760 00:37:21,723 --> 00:37:22,963 And you can look on Instagram. 761 00:37:22,963 --> 00:37:25,723 So, it's, on average, nine firearms a day, 762 00:37:25,723 --> 00:37:28,363 the majority of which are loaded, 763 00:37:28,363 --> 00:37:30,683 there's been brass knuckles, live eels, 764 00:37:30,683 --> 00:37:33,923 a live grenade, a medieval mace... 765 00:37:33,923 --> 00:37:36,963 I don't think I'd confiscate the live grenade. Would you? 766 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,763 "You can have that." 767 00:37:42,883 --> 00:37:46,323 There was a dagger hidden inside a replica of the Eiffel Tower 768 00:37:46,323 --> 00:37:50,123 and a Chihuahua that the owner said had sneaked into their bag. 769 00:37:51,683 --> 00:37:54,843 I can believe that of a Chihuahua. They are sneaky, aren't they? 770 00:37:54,843 --> 00:37:56,483 OK, moving on. 771 00:37:56,483 --> 00:37:59,403 If you're... Oh, this is so controversial. 772 00:37:59,403 --> 00:38:01,483 If you're making a cuppa, 773 00:38:01,483 --> 00:38:02,683 does the milk... 774 00:38:02,683 --> 00:38:04,443 I know. 775 00:38:04,443 --> 00:38:06,843 Oh, a gasp, an audible gasp! 776 00:38:06,843 --> 00:38:09,163 Does it go in first or second? 777 00:38:10,563 --> 00:38:12,123 Did I ask you? 778 00:38:14,483 --> 00:38:17,123 OK. Not everybody agrees. First or second? 779 00:38:18,363 --> 00:38:20,243 Second. First? Some people shouting first? 780 00:38:22,603 --> 00:38:23,923 OK. 781 00:38:23,923 --> 00:38:27,123 The trouble is that there is no correct answer, that is the point, 782 00:38:27,123 --> 00:38:30,443 yet opinion is so unbelievably strongly divided. 783 00:38:30,443 --> 00:38:33,043 But the British Standards Institution 784 00:38:33,043 --> 00:38:35,363 has a 5,000-word report... 785 00:38:37,163 --> 00:38:38,963 ..on the correct way to make tea. 786 00:38:38,963 --> 00:38:40,883 Which you are going to read out to us now. 787 00:38:40,883 --> 00:38:42,803 I'm going to precis for you. OK. 788 00:38:42,803 --> 00:38:45,283 It's like when they dramatised the Leveson Inquiry 789 00:38:45,283 --> 00:38:46,523 or something like that. It is. 790 00:38:46,523 --> 00:38:50,123 We're going to do an interpretive dance. OK. 791 00:38:50,123 --> 00:38:51,763 Here is the definitive thing from them, 792 00:38:51,763 --> 00:38:53,403 they say milk should go in first. 793 00:38:54,523 --> 00:38:55,603 Oh, I know, I know! 794 00:38:56,643 --> 00:38:58,483 I know, it's very upsetting for some people. 795 00:38:58,483 --> 00:39:02,043 And they also say you should have 2g of tea per 100ml of water 796 00:39:02,043 --> 00:39:03,843 and it should be brewed for six minutes 797 00:39:03,843 --> 00:39:06,243 and served at a temperature between 60 and 85. 798 00:39:06,243 --> 00:39:08,963 Milk first - a 2003 experiment at Loughborough University 799 00:39:08,963 --> 00:39:13,643 found that adding milk after the water can heat it unevenly, 800 00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:16,083 and that leads to the protein in the milk clumping. 801 00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:18,922 But Yorkshire Tea says milk second, 802 00:39:18,922 --> 00:39:20,962 particularly if you're brewing in a mug. 803 00:39:20,962 --> 00:39:22,442 Then you should brew the tea first, 804 00:39:22,442 --> 00:39:25,122 otherwise the milk will drag down the temperature of the water. 805 00:39:25,122 --> 00:39:28,642 If the teabag's in the cup, you can't put milk in till it's brewed. 806 00:39:28,642 --> 00:39:30,322 That is the thing. That'd be stupid. 807 00:39:30,322 --> 00:39:32,482 Yeah, so the milk has to go in second. Yeah. 808 00:39:32,482 --> 00:39:35,242 But in that debate, they're called Miffers - milk in first - 809 00:39:35,242 --> 00:39:37,042 and Tiffers - tea in first. 810 00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:40,682 George Orwell said, "By putting the tea in first and stirring as one" 811 00:39:40,682 --> 00:39:44,082 "pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk, whereas one is" 812 00:39:44,082 --> 00:39:47,242 "liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way." 813 00:39:47,242 --> 00:39:50,122 He really did write down everything he thought. Everything. 814 00:39:50,122 --> 00:39:53,122 He must have had a column in the Daily Express or something. 815 00:39:53,122 --> 00:39:55,002 "What do we do today?" 816 00:39:55,002 --> 00:39:58,482 "Can we do a side-bar filler? I've got a thing about teabags." 817 00:39:58,482 --> 00:40:02,162 Nineteen Eighty-Four was, like, a cage over the head with just someone 818 00:40:02,162 --> 00:40:05,002 washing tea. "Don't do it!" 819 00:40:05,002 --> 00:40:06,162 Ah! Ooh! 820 00:40:06,162 --> 00:40:07,242 Oh! 821 00:40:07,242 --> 00:40:09,682 See, now, this always happens at a picnic. 822 00:40:09,682 --> 00:40:11,962 But speaking of football, Alan... 823 00:40:11,962 --> 00:40:13,682 Yes? Romesh... Yes? 824 00:40:13,682 --> 00:40:18,362 Who is the most successful Arsenal manager of all time? 825 00:40:20,322 --> 00:40:21,882 Is it me? 826 00:40:21,882 --> 00:40:23,202 Do you want it to be you? 827 00:40:23,202 --> 00:40:24,402 No, that's Bertie Mee, 828 00:40:24,402 --> 00:40:26,962 he was one of your most famous managers, wasn't he? 829 00:40:26,962 --> 00:40:29,802 Well, in terms of winning trophies, it's Arsene Wenger. 830 00:40:32,962 --> 00:40:34,322 Do you follow football, Rachel? 831 00:40:34,322 --> 00:40:37,042 Not at all, but I'm willing to participate in this conversation. 832 00:40:37,042 --> 00:40:39,962 OK. Timothy... Say George Graham, say George Graham. 833 00:40:39,962 --> 00:40:41,442 George Timothy... 834 00:40:42,962 --> 00:40:44,522 Rachel, it's not George Graham! 835 00:40:45,962 --> 00:40:47,122 Herbert Chapman. 836 00:40:51,762 --> 00:40:52,802 Steffi Graf. 837 00:40:55,242 --> 00:40:57,322 Steffi Graf. 838 00:40:57,322 --> 00:41:02,362 Weirdly, Rachel is heading closer to the correct answer than anybody. 839 00:41:02,362 --> 00:41:03,842 What?! Oh, really? 840 00:41:03,842 --> 00:41:05,602 Martina Navratilova. Er... 841 00:41:06,642 --> 00:41:09,802 Serena Williams! It is women that we are... 842 00:41:09,802 --> 00:41:10,842 Vic Akers. 843 00:41:10,842 --> 00:41:12,882 It is Vic Akers, absolutely right, 844 00:41:12,882 --> 00:41:16,202 who founded the Arsenal Ladies Football Club. 845 00:41:16,202 --> 00:41:18,322 He managed it till retirement in 2009. 846 00:41:18,322 --> 00:41:23,362 Under his management, the ladies' team won 32 major honours, 847 00:41:23,362 --> 00:41:25,322 including the FA Women's Cup ten times 848 00:41:25,322 --> 00:41:27,682 as opposed to Arsene Wenger's management, 849 00:41:27,682 --> 00:41:30,362 where the men's team has won seven FA Cup titles. 850 00:41:30,362 --> 00:41:33,082 Vic Akers is the kit man for the men's team, and he always 851 00:41:33,082 --> 00:41:35,482 wears shorts, no matter what the weather. 852 00:41:35,482 --> 00:41:37,882 So on my podcast, we refer to his genitals 853 00:41:37,882 --> 00:41:39,162 as little Vic and the Akers. 854 00:41:42,162 --> 00:41:43,482 He's greatly loved, Vic. 855 00:41:43,482 --> 00:41:46,482 What a fantastic track record, 32 major titles. Astonishing. 856 00:41:46,482 --> 00:41:49,162 I mean, at the time hardly anyone else played women's football, 857 00:41:49,162 --> 00:41:50,322 it must be said. 858 00:41:50,322 --> 00:41:54,122 Well, there was a time in the 1920s when there were 150 women's football 859 00:41:54,122 --> 00:41:58,722 teams in England and they could draw bigger crowds than the men's teams. 860 00:41:58,722 --> 00:42:02,042 The reason it all fell apart was that the FA stopped women playing 861 00:42:02,042 --> 00:42:03,802 on Football Association pitches. 862 00:42:03,802 --> 00:42:06,322 This team is Where's Wally FC. 863 00:42:08,322 --> 00:42:10,762 This team was actually the Dick, Kerr's Ladies team. 864 00:42:10,762 --> 00:42:14,002 They were named after the munitions factory where most of them worked. 865 00:42:14,002 --> 00:42:16,242 They were the first women's team to ever play in shorts, 866 00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:19,562 and my favourite player is a woman called Lily Parr, 867 00:42:19,562 --> 00:42:22,842 and apparently she was astonishing, but she was also a chain-smoker 868 00:42:22,842 --> 00:42:24,402 and she insisted... 869 00:42:24,402 --> 00:42:26,161 Look at the length of that cigarette! 870 00:42:27,441 --> 00:42:30,441 She insisted that part of her wages was in Woodbine cigarettes 871 00:42:30,441 --> 00:42:33,281 and sometimes she was known to play while still smoking. 872 00:42:34,681 --> 00:42:37,321 They completely squashed women's football. They stopped it. 873 00:42:37,321 --> 00:42:39,961 For about 70 years. It was extraordinary. They weren't allowed. 874 00:42:39,961 --> 00:42:42,881 No reason for it at all. Anyway, the most successful Arsenal 875 00:42:42,881 --> 00:42:45,401 manager of all time managed the women's team. 876 00:42:46,561 --> 00:42:49,241 So, it looks like our luck with the weather has run out. 877 00:42:49,241 --> 00:42:51,401 Let's have a quick look at the scores before we are 878 00:42:51,401 --> 00:42:52,881 completely rained off. 879 00:42:52,881 --> 00:42:54,721 Er, last tonight by... 880 00:42:54,721 --> 00:42:56,601 Oh, that's frankly... Oh, dear, there we are. 881 00:42:56,601 --> 00:42:58,841 Last tonight with a rather narrow margin, 882 00:42:58,841 --> 00:43:00,641 the audience with -20! 883 00:43:07,041 --> 00:43:10,281 Getting drenched in fourth place, with -19, 884 00:43:10,281 --> 00:43:11,361 it's Richard! 885 00:43:15,041 --> 00:43:17,641 Slightly soggy with -15, 886 00:43:17,641 --> 00:43:18,681 Rachel! 887 00:43:22,641 --> 00:43:24,121 A bit moist with -14, 888 00:43:24,121 --> 00:43:25,961 Alan. Thank you. 889 00:43:28,521 --> 00:43:31,321 And coming in from the cold, with two points, 890 00:43:31,321 --> 00:43:34,281 it's tonight's winner, Romesh! 891 00:43:43,601 --> 00:43:46,761 Finally, my mum will love me. 892 00:43:47,961 --> 00:43:50,441 I'd like to thank Rachel, Richard, Romesh and Alan, 893 00:43:50,441 --> 00:43:53,681 and leave you with this from American actress Marie Dressler. 894 00:43:53,681 --> 00:43:55,521 If ants are such busy workers, 895 00:43:55,521 --> 00:43:58,361 how come they find time to go to all the picnics? 896 00:43:58,361 --> 00:43:59,481 Goodnight.