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Oh

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Quafing and Phil Jupiter's three sheets to the wind. It's prulies. Would you mind stepping out of the vehicle, please? It's Alan Davis

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This is around the house. So what can I get you prugose?

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Those a good idea to order 300 gin and tonics Tuesday a bit late in the week

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Frankly

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Let's think it through. What is in gin and tonic?

8
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Quinine is in and why might you want quinine?

9
00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:03,010
Isn't it good for stopping mosquitoes biting you?

10
00:02:03,010 --> 00:02:07,769
No, it doesn't stop mosquitoes biting you but it used to be the treatment for malaria for malaria

11
00:02:07,769 --> 00:02:12,569
Yeah, so the problem is that today's tonic contains very little so in order for it to be effective

12
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You would really have to drink 300 gin and tonics every single day. I accept that

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Mean don't try it because too much quinine it unbelievably bad for you can get to abnormal heart rhythms

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You can get double vision. I think that's the gin actually if I'm honest

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Seriously

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Some of those some malaria pills make you blind or make you yes

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No, I mean some of the new stuff is also I think not very good

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I've known people to have what can only be described as a psychotic reaction

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Usually while sharing a tent with me, which is not fun

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Crazy dreams. Oh, wow. It's great. I bought a load

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The only person I can think who might have accepted the actual challenge of 300 gin and tonics a day is Clarissa Dixon

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Right, you may remember one half of the TV chef duo two fat ladies. She once got so ill

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The doctors thought she had malaria. She had something called sticky blood

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It's a condition that is usually suffered by people who have taken too many quinine tablets

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Over a long period it turned out she had quinine poisoning from too many gin and tonics

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Then she was drinking six pints of tonic a day

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Over 12 years. I didn't even know what quinine is to you. It comes from the bark of the cinchona tree. Oh

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So the interesting. Thank you, darling

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What can they ask off here? So thank you

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So the catch what people who were the indigenous people of South America

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They knew about it long before the Europeans because they lived there because they live there exactly

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Europeans are a massive disadvantage with the fauna of South America

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Yeah, and the flora but the really sad thing is that it was the Europeans who brought malaria to them

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So the malaria did not exist. Oh, and now we have to go there to catch it

35
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So what do you get out the bark and what yeah, so you have to distill it you have to distill it

36
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From the bark or will it up and then drips out or how do you do that?

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00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:21,980
Well, it's a very long chemical process and it was first done in 1820 by two French scientists

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But it changed the face of the world. Why might that be you could just go to more horrible places

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Well, you could go to places that you wanted to colonize the whole map

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Exactly, right Prue. You could suddenly go to India and parts of Africa. Give them gonorrhea instead. Yeah

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Give us your land. We'll give you an itch in an uncomfortable place

42
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Is that a quinine tree that is the cinchona tree so it's like a beach tree to me looks like a good climber

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Do you not think you could easily climb up that not for a fat person?

44
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But in Britain it saves the reputation of gin because when quinine was discovered as a thing that would possibly cure malaria

45
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Gin which had been the drink of the of the poorer classes

46
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Suddenly became a drink that everybody was happy to drink gin and tonic became quite the thing certainly the drink of the colonies

47
00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:15,339
Yes sitting in the club and having a gin and tonic quinine also responsible for the invention of modern dyes

48
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:21,259
So there was a gentleman called Sir William Henry Perkin and he wanted to make a synthetic version of the drug

49
00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:24,939
He failed actually it so there is it was only 18 when he did this there

50
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He is an 18. It is actually before and after picture 300 gin and tonic

51
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:32,620
He's very nice-looking both times

52
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He was a handsome fellow handsome boy handsome man. He did well and he invented Moveen

53
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It's the very first artificial color ever invented changed the world of fashion

54
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But what he was trying to do was actually to make quinine

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I want to heal people. I'm gonna heal people. I want to make people look fabulous

56
00:05:49,699 --> 00:05:56,339
But the pre-quinine malaria treatments they were just as bizarre as they were desperate so I love this one in medieval Europe

57
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It was thought that it would work if you were thrown headfirst into a bush

58
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And if you got out quickly enough to leave the fever behind that would sort you out

59
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God if someone landed in my bush training

60
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I

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Leave it there

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Eat an onion with our men written on it. It's good for you

63
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My mother used to have from onion sandwiches raw onion sandwiches white bread lots of butter raw onions

64
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It's delicious. Tell us to put some cheese in

65
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It used to be called Roman fever malaria and it's thought to be one of the reasons for the end of the Roman Empire

66
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It's one of the oldest illnesses in the world. We have discovered mosquitoes with the malaria parasite in it fossilized in amber

67
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It are 30 million years old and still to this day about a million people a year die

68
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From it is a truly terrible disease. It comes from medieval Italian malaria. So it means bad air. Not a good thing

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I do like this in 2014 a Californian firm made a perfume that made cows smell like humans

70
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So that mosquitoes would bite them instead of us

71
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Oh

72
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Because cows can't get malaria apparently the other alternative cure is Viagra

73
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Of me. Yes

74
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Apparently a fairly effective way of treating malaria as it can improve the spleen's ability to filter the parasite excellent

75
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My malaria is gone. I've got somewhere to put this towel

76
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I'm so sorry

77
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Sorry crew, it's okay. I'm too old to understand it. I don't know what

78
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,120
All right, that's your gnt now time for some shots

79
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:42,920
So you've all got a shot glass of something beside you. So Alan having a look at yours. What do you think it might be?

80
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Do you want me to drink it? Have a taste? Yes. Have a taste a taste

81
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I mean, is it if I drank it all would I die? No, I'm not allowed to kill you

82
00:07:56,149 --> 00:07:58,149
Sounds to me like you've said that before

83
00:07:59,829 --> 00:08:02,750
Say the contract this year has been particularly tricky to negotiate

84
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What's it taste of I just see I just drank that what no idea what it is any thoughts of what it tastes it tastes

85
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I'm getting

86
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I'm getting gravel from the a1 side of a wardrobe

87
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It's as close as we can get to what the gladiators used to drink

88
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So they coiffed a drink which was made from ash vinegar and water in order to help

89
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Are you enjoying it more or less now?

90
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:36,019
Basically what you're drinking there is a burnt-down chip shop

91
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Savalois

92
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What we know is the gladiators were mostly vegetarian. They had a diet of lots of lentils and lots of beans

93
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We know this from QI is great friend Pliny the elder

94
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I have to say things he wrote we have to take them a little bit of a pinch of salt because he also said

95
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Drinking bulls blood cures snake bites and turnips provoke lust. I can't argue with that

96
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:20,059
These are kind of early energy drinks and the nearest we can find to the kind of ash thing is activated charcoal shots

97
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And people do drink them now and adherents say it's fantastic for I don't hangovers increasing your energy

98
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I have to warn you that it can cause constipation and make your poo black

99
00:09:33,659 --> 00:09:38,740
Okay, so a little bit of ash for you let's come on to Phil so charioteers

100
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This I'm straight away malt vinegar right out of the trap. Okay some more vinegar

101
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It tastes like watered-down

102
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Malt vinegar, but I'm getting them a bit of a salty back end on it. Yeah, so well

103
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Had we been able to do this properly a salty back end is exactly what's missing because what they drank

104
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Was indeed vinegar which had been watered down, but it also had dung in it, which would be

105
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Sorted down back end right there. So what is in this is only this is just posca which is vinegar and water

106
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It would have lots of good calories and it would have been perfectly healthy thing good for your gutter and so on

107
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Even Nero who fancied himself as a charioteer

108
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He swore by a good old draught of pig dung and vinegar to help you with your recovery

109
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Did you like it? I'm gonna go through a period where people were using ash to cook things

110
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I don't know where they did it intentionally

111
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but certainly there'd been a lot of ash around and people have often used ash to preserve cheeses and

112
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Berry cheese in ash. I think babies were given it for something

113
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That's when they used to be allowed to smoke fags

114
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When they had a cup of tea in their bottles, you know

115
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Brandy on the lips my man used to put a shot of brandy in the baby's milk

116
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That's a shot. You're a baby. You've had a brandy

117
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Sorry, you're saying it's me. Look at me

118
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Thanks, Nan

119
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She just wanted you to shut up and go to sleep quite right

120
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Right Joe, let's have a go with you looks like liquid hopelessness to me

121
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Do you like it? It tastes like ginger beer. It is just ginger my darling

122
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It's a stimulant ginger wherever it's been available has been used as it not as a medicine as a medicine

123
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Here's the thing. If you drank that how would you feel about drinking from a toilet bowl? Love it. Well

124
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One of the weirdest things about drinking ginger is apparently it suppresses feelings of disgust

125
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So they did a study in 2019 in the Journal of the American Psychological Association. Maybe I'll have sex with me husband tonight

126
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See your wife having a ginger ale before bed

127
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I'll just get me back

128
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Disgusting things like snot in a napkin or something you would feel you have that on some toast

129
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If you have the ginger first apparently you don't feel as disgusted

130
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Somehow the ginger suppresses the disgust. I quite like the concept of snot on a napkin

131
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Sounds like an upmarket restaurant

132
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And have a snow on a napkin

133
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All right, let's have a go you better have a ginger ale first

134
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What can you smell?

135
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It gave it a sniff to see that professional. Oh, yes

136
00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:59,460
I have no idea what this is, but I have drunk it before

137
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It's a modern energy drink. Do you don't like the taste of it? Well, it's a bit sweet what it's the crack

138
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Sugar and caffeine and something called taurine which is supposed to be even more stimulating than caffeine

139
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They're pretty much all that I have it all i'll be jumping high as a kite darling high as a kite

140
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So these are all energy drinks from a long time ago

141
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This is the most modern one that we've come to here

142
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The money made by it is more than the fragrance and cannabis market combined. It is worth an absolute fortune

143
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And since it's absolutely stuffed full of sugar. Yeah, all it's doing is making you fat your point

144
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being

145
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What might you want to have done with your own ashes if you don't want to turn it into a drink

146
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What could you do with your own ashes any thoughts?

147
00:13:54,779 --> 00:13:55,740
Oh, yeah

148
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You say you leave it in your work you say when I

149
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Firework you can be turned into a jewel

150
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:05,419
Yeah, but your manner of so my favorite thing is that you can turn the ashes of a loved one

151
00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:07,980
into a drinking cup

152
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So I love this because you could theoretically drink an ash drink for energy out of the ashes of somebody you loved who is dead

153
00:14:15,899 --> 00:14:20,379
I know it's quite weird, isn't it? Apparently you can also make them into a tattoo. What? Yes

154
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:25,019
What they make it into ink and turn it into a tattoo. It can be made into a pencil lead

155
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Cuddly toy, there's no end

156
00:14:27,899 --> 00:14:31,659
I could be a pencil lead. Well, i'm 56. Oh the irony

157
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I think you could be a whole set of pencils

158
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Right drinks away, please

159
00:14:42,389 --> 00:14:48,789
Time to go from quaffing to scoffing, but we are staying with the letter q. Can you name a cereal crop that begins with

160
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a q

161
00:14:51,909 --> 00:14:53,669
Yes

162
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:59,110
Quaker oats quaker oats is as close as we were able to find ourselves. You are exactly right

163
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It's not quinoa because I think quinoa isn't a grass. It is not a grain. It's a seed

164
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It's a seed so strictly speaking it cannot be classified as a cereal and in fact, you know

165
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It's good news for the ashkenazi jews. For example, they're not allowed to eat grains over Passover

166
00:15:23,159 --> 00:15:26,600
Where they can eat quinoa bad luck to them. It tastes shit

167
00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:33,240
I always think it's one of those foods that you need to add actual food to it to make it taste like a cake. Yeah

168
00:15:34,679 --> 00:15:39,350
Do you have quinoa? Of course it has. Do you like it? No

169
00:15:40,549 --> 00:15:43,029
It's annoying on your plate. It's annoying in your mouth

170
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:49,190
Irritating stuff. Have you cooked with it? Yeah, of course i've cooked with it. You like it? Yeah, I like it

171
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But I agree with you it needs help. Here's the thing about quinoa. It's a super food

172
00:15:53,029 --> 00:15:57,269
It contains a lot more protein than most plants plenty of iron high in vitamin e

173
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It also has all 10 amino acids needed to support human life. I mean I say this in fairness haribo contains nine

174
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So-called building blocks. I really want to believe that. That is true. Yeah haribo has nine of the building blocks in life

175
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Haribo a day keeps the doctor away

176
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:23,669
But if you've had a quinoa only diet you'd have anemia I think you'd probably have scurvy you wouldn't be able to clot blood

177
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It's not a good idea

178
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But it does contain another q quercetin and that is very good antiviral anti-cancer anti-inflammatory antidepressant

179
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:36,549
I mean it has lots of good stuff in it. Here's what does quinoa. Yeah, it has lots of good stuff in it

180
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:40,870
Yeah, it's got antidepressants in it and you look at it and feel like killing yourself

181
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:50,700
It's all carol vorderman's fault is it yeah, well she wrote the first cookery book that's had quinoa in it

182
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I remember it. Well, I wept that day

183
00:16:56,299 --> 00:16:58,299
Whatever happened to semolina

184
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:02,539
I agree with you. What's that? That's gone. Nobody uses semolina

185
00:17:03,259 --> 00:17:08,859
Do you if you make a pie and it's likely to have a soggy bottom? Yes, i'm listening

186
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:15,819
If you put a layer of semolina in the bottom of the pie it will soak up those juices and you'll have a nice

187
00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:21,740
Crisp non-soggy bottom and you won't taste it. You won't taste the semolina. It's just wheat. So it's just like pastry. I love that

188
00:17:22,059 --> 00:17:27,339
Uh, anybody know what quinoa plant looks like? Yeah, I went to bolivia. I saw quinoa fields

189
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:31,660
It is actually rather beautiful. It's got colors which come from a type of pigment called betalin

190
00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:36,539
It's the same chemical gives beetroot its color. Isn't it? It's rather lovely also contains suppanins

191
00:17:36,539 --> 00:17:42,299
Which are soap-like chemicals and in fact andean cultures use those soapy husks as shampoo

192
00:17:43,019 --> 00:17:48,859
And nasa are looking at quinoa as a possible food for long space missions. Lucky astronaut. I know. Yay

193
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:53,660
Please and not to get on that you got to sit with richard branson for 50 years

194
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,619
Seeing as we have pru on the panel

195
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:02,059
I thought I should test your baking skills the rest of you so we're going to make some danish

196
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:07,980
Lemon quaffels and pru i'm going to ask you to judge please. So everybody bring out your tray with your

197
00:18:08,839 --> 00:18:13,660
Ingredients so pru that is the instructions. Have you made danish lemon quaffels before?

198
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,779
I don't think they exist. Don't be ridiculous

199
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,819
Okay, here we go

200
00:18:19,819 --> 00:18:26,460
Before we can start our quaffel making sandy. I don't wish to I appear to be given a chair from sandy's house

201
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:28,460
Yes

202
00:18:31,059 --> 00:18:36,259
Right, you've got one egg one half cup of buttermilk five teaspoons of baking soda one half teaspoon of vanilla one cup of lemon

203
00:18:36,259 --> 00:18:37,859
Juice one cup and a quarter of sugar

204
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:42,819
Seven eighths of a cup of all-purpose flour and eight tablespoons of melted butter pru. What are the instructions, please?

205
00:18:43,059 --> 00:18:46,500
All right in a small bowl beat the egg until foamy

206
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:53,519
It's foamy or until you're foamy

207
00:18:53,519 --> 00:18:56,559
Until it's foamy, come on foam up your bastard

208
00:19:08,269 --> 00:19:12,509
Okay now, yeah, all right put it in a pan and get the beans warmed up

209
00:19:13,789 --> 00:19:23,400
Add the buttermilk and vanilla. Which one's the buttermilk? That's the white one. Oh, it's gloopy and blended well

210
00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:25,559
Yeah, so and the vanilla

211
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:32,440
Sandy yeah, can I lick the bowl sandy?

212
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,640
A bit more wet

213
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,599
Add the baking soda one teaspoon at a time

214
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:46,119
Sprinkling it and beating until the mixture is smooth and the consistency of light cream and you can do this

215
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,720
Right and beating sandy's keep that other show where it belongs

216
00:19:50,759 --> 00:20:06,430
Baking soda the whole lot all of it. That's good. Okay

217
00:20:07,150 --> 00:20:10,450
That's thankfully the skills I had as a young man that becoming useful

218
00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:12,450
Oh

219
00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:29,890
Oh, darling, it'll take forever. Let me

220
00:20:30,369 --> 00:20:35,970
One teaspoon at a time. That's a teaspoon. It's there. It's there. Don't don't leak. Oh

221
00:20:40,769 --> 00:20:42,769
Okay assisted by sanding

222
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:47,809
Okay. All right. This is pretty good. Yep. Now what? All right a fiber for now

223
00:20:48,769 --> 00:21:09,839
I had to have the right money around the block. Okay, so done that. Yeah pour the mixture into the beaker. Oh

224
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:38,339
Beaker is it the process but they won't eat any of it

225
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:45,839
The lemon juice all at once and blend into the mixture blend. How do you oh no spilt some in the egg

226
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:25,859
Happen something to do with the acid. I think because prude doesn't know how to cook

227
00:22:26,339 --> 00:22:32,460
Lemon juice is acid and it mixes with the baking powder, which is a carbonate and that is what happens

228
00:22:34,299 --> 00:22:39,099
Is it by baking soda? Okay, so it forms co2 and it foams up in that way

229
00:22:39,180 --> 00:22:44,779
Especially if you put five teaspoons in it, which yeah about four and a half more than you'd normally use

230
00:22:44,859 --> 00:22:46,940
Yeah, we were rather determined that it should work

231
00:22:48,539 --> 00:22:52,700
I think it did obviously we invented danish lemon quaffles because it begins with a q

232
00:22:53,099 --> 00:22:57,740
Can I recommend to you a pen and teller book called how to play with your food and the recipes in there

233
00:22:57,740 --> 00:23:03,900
It's called swedish lemon angels, but what a great thing to make with your kids and wasn't pretty fantastic getting out the

234
00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:12,900
Television it'll never catch on

235
00:23:13,619 --> 00:23:17,789
for a question on quips

236
00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:24,750
Phil how many jokes would you exchange for this person? Well, it's my child. So, uh

237
00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:29,380
I've got to be honest. It's a buyer's market

238
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:37,779
So this is your daughter emily, yeah, and emily is now one of the elves here she works for us on qi

239
00:23:38,420 --> 00:23:43,299
But we learned this wonderful thing in between the fifth and the second century bc in athens

240
00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:48,759
Comedians were known as parasitos literally means we still are literally means parasites

241
00:23:49,859 --> 00:23:55,940
So sponges and they made a living by turning up at dinner parties uninvited and they would exchange jokes for food

242
00:23:56,339 --> 00:24:01,460
Uh, and they had their own joke books and kept them updated. That's why we're such brilliant comics. Look at the size of it

243
00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:04,660
One or two dinners

244
00:24:04,660 --> 00:24:10,900
So there was a parasitos called sartorio and he kept a whole chest full of joke books at home and he offered up

245
00:24:11,380 --> 00:24:15,779
600 of his quips his jokes as a dowry for his daughter

246
00:24:16,180 --> 00:24:22,819
So we thought well, let's extend this and let's have your daughter as a hostage and see how many jokes you would exchange

247
00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:25,779
So if you can make the audience laugh, I will release her

248
00:24:26,180 --> 00:24:32,420
Okay, um a salesman knocks on the door of a house and the door opens and there's a five-year-old child standing there

249
00:24:32,660 --> 00:24:39,220
With a cigar and a balloon of brandy and the salesman looks a little boy and goes hello little boy

250
00:24:39,380 --> 00:24:40,579
He goes boy

251
00:24:40,579 --> 00:24:44,500
He goes are your mum and dad in and he goes does it look like they are?

252
00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:51,789
Okay release the child

253
00:24:52,829 --> 00:24:57,069
So the ancient Greeks had stand-up comedy nights, but a lot of the time only other comedians would attend

254
00:24:57,150 --> 00:25:00,750
There was a group in what what's the one on the right doing to the one on the right?

255
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,359
I believe that's the beginning of improv

256
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,720
One on the left's not keen on it

257
00:25:12,589 --> 00:25:14,589
Second left's going look at him. Look at him

258
00:25:20,559 --> 00:25:24,559
Anyway, there used to be a thing called the group of 60 and they were athenian wits who got together

259
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,920
And exchanged jokes and so one of the ways you would tell a joke in athens you would say the 60 said and so

260
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:35,200
On but the very first joke book that europe ever had was published by anybody ever guess

261
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,200
We are talking in mid 1400s

262
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lazy bird well

263
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,680
The vatican

264
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,680
Published it was utterly obscene

265
00:25:43,759 --> 00:25:49,599
They had they had a sort of joke club called the bujjali. It was literally a fib factory

266
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:55,200
There was a papal secretary called poggio bracciolini and he kept a record of all these jokes and he published it

267
00:25:55,660 --> 00:26:02,319
273 puns and jokes mostly the usual stuff farts erections a bit rubbish at reading any look at him. Yeah

268
00:26:02,319 --> 00:26:04,319
Yeah

269
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:15,920
Excuse me, is that athena the frame of my picture has fallen on my head

270
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,319
He's famous for having beautiful handwriting

271
00:26:20,319 --> 00:26:25,599
He is the creator of the very first roman font and we think he's the man behind time's new roman that we use today

272
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,339
Today I will come up with dingbats

273
00:26:31,279 --> 00:26:37,200
Right now what was the most exciting diet in history I reckon

274
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000
In the siege of paris

275
00:26:40,319 --> 00:26:44,960
They ate the zoo animal they did darling 1870 there were recipes for elephant elephant

276
00:26:45,279 --> 00:26:50,000
There were recipes for his trunk and his uh, whatever you call it. Yeah cock

277
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,279
I believe some roosters were eaten as well

278
00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:04,000
So that is an interesting one, but it's possibly not the most exciting exciting diet

279
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,480
At the end of the 19th and indeed the beginning of the 20th century, uh, there were professional

280
00:27:08,859 --> 00:27:15,279
Fasters they were called hunger artists and these were people who would in public see who could fast for the longest

281
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,440
I'd love to do that. Yeah

282
00:27:17,599 --> 00:27:18,079
Yeah

283
00:27:18,079 --> 00:27:22,559
If we all stopped eating now if we like didn't have any food the five of us

284
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:27,039
Would me and joe last longer because we're fat. How dare you?

285
00:27:27,039 --> 00:27:29,039
You

286
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:41,549
I point out i'm much heavier than joe. I'll slaughter her in a fasting competition. It's not a competition, but do do

287
00:27:42,589 --> 00:27:45,950
These reserves are yes, of course, we would last longer. Yeah. Yeah

288
00:27:46,509 --> 00:27:51,390
Do you think I don't know that's necessarily true. I think it depends on your metabolism and then yeah your abilities is

289
00:27:51,390 --> 00:27:52,029
Available. Yeah

290
00:27:52,029 --> 00:27:57,390
So how long do you think you would last because if you could last for a very long time you could make thousands and thousands

291
00:27:58,190 --> 00:28:02,829
A year there was a guy called giovanni. Suchi. He was paid more than a quarter of a million pounds

292
00:28:03,309 --> 00:28:09,470
Back in 1890. He lasted 40 days on the stage in london and afterwards he had missed eating so much

293
00:28:09,549 --> 00:28:11,549
He went on to found pringles

294
00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:16,349
What we now reckon is uh, it doesn't matter about your initial body weight

295
00:28:16,430 --> 00:28:19,470
You'll probably last eight to 12 weeks. Okay, all of us would be about the same

296
00:28:19,630 --> 00:28:21,950
Um, but this fad it started in 1880

297
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,630
There was a doctor called henry tanner and he bet that he could live on water for 40 days

298
00:28:25,710 --> 00:28:30,829
And he made an absolute fortune from people just coming to stare at him. There was a woman called molly fluncher

299
00:28:30,829 --> 00:28:33,069
She was also known as the brooklyn enigma

300
00:28:33,470 --> 00:28:37,869
And she claimed she had psychic abilities due to starvation and she was challenged

301
00:28:38,269 --> 00:28:43,150
To do it for 40 days with round-the-clock observation by doctors, but she said the doctors are bound to be male

302
00:28:43,150 --> 00:28:44,910
I'm not going to do it

303
00:28:44,910 --> 00:28:51,950
Because you know modesty would prevent me from doing this. The truth is on the whole it was discovered people had been secretly eating

304
00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:56,589
Anybody remember the last one in uh, sort of in popular always david blaine in the box

305
00:28:56,750 --> 00:28:59,869
Yeah, he did 44 days in the box. I went to see him. Did you go and see him?

306
00:29:00,029 --> 00:29:02,509
Well, I went it was quite late at night and people throwing eggs at him

307
00:29:05,230 --> 00:29:09,869
How long would you last if you just it without water though, not anywhere near as long

308
00:29:09,869 --> 00:29:13,069
I mean you must have so yeah, you must have some hydration of some kind

309
00:29:13,470 --> 00:29:15,789
There's a rule of three. You can survive three hours without shelter

310
00:29:15,789 --> 00:29:19,470
You can survive three days without water and three weeks without food is the sort of rule of three

311
00:29:19,470 --> 00:29:22,990
What was the first one you can survive three hours without shelter?

312
00:29:23,630 --> 00:29:25,630
This cricket match is longer than that

313
00:29:27,630 --> 00:29:33,630
I mean the one that is extraordinary is the breatharian diet. Does anybody know what the breatharian diet is? Is it breathing air?

314
00:29:33,869 --> 00:29:38,589
Just that literally just that there's this thing prana which you're supposed to live on

315
00:29:38,670 --> 00:29:41,789
It's a sanskrit word and it translates as life air or life force

316
00:29:42,269 --> 00:29:46,190
Have you met a breatharian? I haven't I presume they're the only people I presume they're all dead

317
00:29:46,750 --> 00:29:48,269
I

318
00:29:48,269 --> 00:29:53,789
Claim to live purely off light and air. I would guess they're the only people can bore vegans at dinner parties

319
00:29:54,910 --> 00:29:56,910
Patrick Moore wrote a wonderful book called

320
00:29:56,910 --> 00:30:02,589
Can you speak venutian and he established that the leader of the breatharians did actually eat much like everybody else

321
00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:08,910
But not as well because all he was able to do was rely on places open very late at night when nobody saw him go

322
00:30:10,829 --> 00:30:13,789
Not eating a good diet definitely don't try it at home the garage

323
00:30:13,789 --> 00:30:18,349
And so that's basically pork pies and quavers in it

324
00:30:21,470 --> 00:30:22,910
Yeah

325
00:30:22,910 --> 00:30:25,950
What's the least amount of food anything can survive on any human?

326
00:30:26,269 --> 00:30:31,710
No, anything a a living being two percent of your body weight two percent of your body weight

327
00:30:31,789 --> 00:30:37,710
I mean, uh, we need at least 1200 calories. Don't we they're human beings only 1200 at three muffins

328
00:30:38,109 --> 00:30:40,109
A

329
00:30:41,230 --> 00:30:46,990
Team from the university of southern california has recently discovered microbes that genuinely seem to survive on almost nothing

330
00:30:46,990 --> 00:30:48,509
This is an astonishing story

331
00:30:48,509 --> 00:30:54,910
So the sediments of the pacific ocean they have been found living there and based on how much oxygen has depleted over the ages

332
00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:58,750
Researchers propose that they may have been alive for 75

333
00:30:59,710 --> 00:31:00,829
million

334
00:31:00,829 --> 00:31:04,670
Years, they've certainly been alive for an extraordinarily long period of time

335
00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:10,269
They don't do anything apart from really really slowly metabolizing really really small amounts of food

336
00:31:10,509 --> 00:31:13,309
What is extraordinary? So say they've been alive for 75 million

337
00:31:13,710 --> 00:31:19,470
Uh years that time if they can understand time will have passed really quickly

338
00:31:19,869 --> 00:31:25,009
For them because an animal's ability to perceive time is linked to the speed of its metabolism

339
00:31:25,390 --> 00:31:30,029
So imagine you've got a very fast metabolism. It sends signals to your brain much more quickly

340
00:31:30,269 --> 00:31:35,230
So a fly has very very fast metabolism, uh, so signals go to the brain incredibly quickly

341
00:31:35,309 --> 00:31:38,829
So a newspaper coming at it seems to move rather slowly

342
00:31:38,990 --> 00:31:42,349
And that means that the fly can get away much more quickly never can swat them

343
00:31:42,509 --> 00:31:47,390
You've got a couple of 75 million year old microbes at the bottom of the pacific going where the dinosaur's gone

344
00:31:53,950 --> 00:31:56,430
Well, he's evolved she's evolved

345
00:31:57,390 --> 00:31:59,789
They all evolve he's gone on land now

346
00:32:01,069 --> 00:32:05,630
Here we are still at the starting gate. What's going wrong with us? Do you remember that comet?

347
00:32:07,549 --> 00:32:09,549
Which one

348
00:32:14,509 --> 00:32:16,589
Anyway 75 million isn't that astonishing?

349
00:32:17,630 --> 00:32:20,109
Now what would newlyweds do with these?

350
00:32:21,069 --> 00:32:22,670
That's got to be

351
00:32:22,670 --> 00:32:28,750
A love apple of some sort. It's certainly associated with love. We're in the letter q so it's a fruit beginning with quince

352
00:32:28,910 --> 00:32:30,670
It is a quince

353
00:32:30,670 --> 00:32:32,670
from ancient greek times

354
00:32:32,670 --> 00:32:35,470
Right up to the present day been associated with love and marriage

355
00:32:35,789 --> 00:32:42,829
And in fact in the sixth century bc the athenian lawmaker solon decreed that during the wedding every bride and bridegroom shall

356
00:32:42,829 --> 00:32:49,630
Be shut into a chamber and eat a quince together. You don't like them bro. You've got a raw quince's are

357
00:32:50,170 --> 00:32:55,789
Disgusting i've had quince jelly which is delicious. It's stuffed full of sugar and it's cooked for a very long time

358
00:32:55,869 --> 00:33:00,750
It's lovely but very unkind to make them eat. They must have been desperate to get on with matters

359
00:33:01,789 --> 00:33:05,789
I mean certainly in terms of a british food until the 19th century all fruit was cooked

360
00:33:05,869 --> 00:33:08,670
It was regarded as very bad for your system to eat anything

361
00:33:09,309 --> 00:33:15,150
That was raw the ancient greeks have a story that quince trees sprung up wherever aphrodite the goddess of love

362
00:33:15,390 --> 00:33:17,390
And had a wee walked

363
00:33:17,789 --> 00:33:22,609
Her father uranus was castrated by his son cronus

364
00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:29,069
And the genitals uranus genitals were thrown into the sea and the foam created by the genitals

365
00:33:29,470 --> 00:33:33,710
Out of that rose aphrodite. In fact, if you look at the wikipedia page on aphrodite

366
00:33:33,789 --> 00:33:36,670
Her parents are listed as uranus's severed genitals, which is

367
00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:41,069
Anybody think of a famous poem with quince in it

368
00:33:41,390 --> 00:33:47,789
Are they dined on mints and slices of quince it's up with a ransomable spoon by snoop dog

369
00:33:51,099 --> 00:33:56,240
Anybody know what a runcible spoon is a spoon formerly owned by the archbishop of canterbury

370
00:34:00,059 --> 00:34:03,339
No, it's not anything he made it up it just it just fitted in the poem

371
00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:08,159
Up until the 16th century quince was considered to be an aphrodisiac

372
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,840
It really has had this tremendous reputation

373
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:17,119
And now really not popular at all is it in fact quite difficult to get hold of I think if you have a tree

374
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,000
Produces so many of them. You don't know what to do with it

375
00:34:20,559 --> 00:34:24,000
But they are wonderful because they make everything set if you want

376
00:34:24,639 --> 00:34:26,800
Apple pie to have that sort of nice jelly

377
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,920
bottom and if you want

378
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:35,679
To make any jam set shab some quince in that is that and medlar fruit

379
00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:41,920
Which was the other fruit that was very popular particularly in medieval times, you know what the name for medlar is the victorian name

380
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,880
dog's ass

381
00:34:45,519 --> 00:34:50,079
You look at the end of a medlar guess what it looks like does it look like just like a dog's ass

382
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,840
There's one street in london called medlar street where there are still some medlar trees

383
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,880
But I don't think anybody picks the fruit because people don't know what to do with it

384
00:34:57,039 --> 00:34:59,440
I would have preferred dog's ass street wouldn't you?

385
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,599
Generally people should pay more attention to quince's now for a question

386
00:35:05,599 --> 00:35:10,800
That may make you feel a little queasy. Where can you find the world's most disgusting food?

387
00:35:11,519 --> 00:35:14,800
What I think is interesting about that is that it depends where you are

388
00:35:15,199 --> 00:35:21,360
You're right. It is entirely to do with cultural context, but there is actually a disgusting food museum

389
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,079
Uh, it is in sweden. It is in marmo

390
00:35:24,559 --> 00:35:28,480
So what they have said the rules for the food that is allowed to be in the disgusting food museum

391
00:35:28,639 --> 00:35:31,599
They have to be considered disgusting by some people somewhere in the world

392
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,920
They have to be genuinely eaten by some people somewhere in the world as a choice

393
00:35:36,159 --> 00:35:39,840
Okay, so not through necessity and there mustn't be a food stuff that has been created

394
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:47,199
Just for tourists. So for example, they have bull testicles which in the united states are eaten as prairie oysters or rocky mountain oysters

395
00:35:47,519 --> 00:35:51,280
There are those the testicles issue ever like me had never seen them before

396
00:35:53,119 --> 00:36:00,320
Mongolian mary, which is a sheep's eye in tomato juice, which is regarded as a hangover cure in mongolia. That is a bull's penis there

397
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:06,400
And uh penis very popular in drinks. It takes three penises to make chinese three penis wine

398
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:11,440
You need a I know it's well named. Uh, but uh, wait what now? Yeah

399
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:16,800
You seal a deer and a dog quarter in our last glass of triple dick, please

400
00:36:23,159 --> 00:36:26,199
Uh, but bull's penis crops up all over the world in bolivia darling

401
00:36:26,199 --> 00:36:29,239
It's as a soup they make bull's penis soup in bolivia who did not have that

402
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:33,639
Oh, maybe I did most commonly eaten by pet dogs as a chewy treat

403
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,840
They don't have any food in the discussing food museum that involves any animal cruelty

404
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:47,000
So they talk about pate, but they don't show you all the penises have been donated. Yes

405
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,719
It's the thing that I like about it

406
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:58,039
There's a huge number of people who visited, uh the museum and they report a drastic reduction in meat consumption after they've been to the museum

407
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,440
And vomiting has been a slight issue

408
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,599
Rather cleverly though. All tickets to the museum are printed on a sick bag

409
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:10,199
Disgust is a it's a universal evolutionary function

410
00:37:10,199 --> 00:37:15,800
We need it in order to avoid disease and unsafe food and so on but what we find disgusting is not interesting

411
00:37:16,039 --> 00:37:19,159
I think we're all going to end up eating lots of insects. Yes

412
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,519
Because they're very nutritious before the knife is out

413
00:37:24,679 --> 00:37:27,480
I don't know why we don't eat more rabbit in this country. They're delicious. Yeah

414
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:31,079
No, right wait, no i've been on this show i've had this before it kills you

415
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,960
Too much rabbit. I remember when the big man with a uh, when he was on

416
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,519
But there was an episode when uh something and he went oh it'll kill you

417
00:37:46,039 --> 00:37:50,920
If you only eat rabbit it might kill you yeah, yeah, I was suggesting the odd meal

418
00:37:52,519 --> 00:37:56,199
Right now it's time for the round that's guaranteed to make alan's stomach turn

419
00:37:56,519 --> 00:38:03,159
General ignorance fingers on buzzers, please. What is the most expensive liquid on earth? It's probably a wine

420
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:12,019
Yeah, anybody else elvis's bath water there's someone doing little vials of be no

421
00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:17,699
Yeah, yeah, really go online. Have a look and people are buying vials of bath water

422
00:38:17,860 --> 00:38:21,059
Yeah, because when he died everybody went oh, I know save the bath water exactly

423
00:38:21,940 --> 00:38:25,139
I thought he died on the toilet. Yeah, that's much cheaper that

424
00:38:26,099 --> 00:38:34,369
I think the answer is probably racehorse semen

425
00:38:35,489 --> 00:38:39,969
There is an internet factoid that says scorpion venom is the most expensive liquid on earth

426
00:38:39,969 --> 00:38:42,849
It is 30 million uh pounds per gallon

427
00:38:43,090 --> 00:38:49,010
But here's the thing about scientists. They've worked out a new way of breeding and milking. Uh scorpions has caught the price right down

428
00:38:49,570 --> 00:38:56,210
Oh, yes, they've ruined the markets crack. I know you can now get a gallon of scorpion venom for a mere 70 000

429
00:38:56,690 --> 00:38:59,250
Now come on daisy put your stinger in the milker

430
00:39:01,010 --> 00:39:05,110
A gallon is a lot. It is a lot. You can get a gallon of lsd for 123.000

431
00:39:09,250 --> 00:39:13,489
Chanel number five twenty thousand pounds per gallon printer ink two thousand pounds per gallon

432
00:39:13,570 --> 00:39:17,809
That's that's we're heading down the prices here. That is a racket. That is a racket

433
00:39:17,889 --> 00:39:22,210
But the most expensive liquid that we can find seems to be racehorse semen

434
00:39:22,289 --> 00:39:28,530
So for a mare to be serviced, uh by a famous thoroughbred called Galileo would cost the owner about

435
00:39:28,590 --> 00:39:33,590
540 000 pounds the average volume of a stallion's ejaculation

436
00:39:35,650 --> 00:39:37,650
There's 65 mil so

437
00:39:37,969 --> 00:39:44,130
Galileo would have to ejaculate 70 times in order to produce one gallon of semen and so his semen would be worth almost

438
00:39:44,289 --> 00:39:48,289
50 million pounds per gallon is the most expensive thing

439
00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:50,530
I know

440
00:39:50,530 --> 00:39:54,530
How much is a man's semen worth yours a quid? Yeah

441
00:39:54,530 --> 00:39:56,530
Yeah

442
00:40:01,780 --> 00:40:10,679
Horse semen is much more expensive than printer ink, but even if it was cheaper, it would probably cause some kind of paper jam

443
00:40:13,889 --> 00:40:18,050
What is traditional marmalade made from quinces oranges

444
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:27,840
Prue had it right. What did you say quince? It is. I said you should pay more attention to quince

445
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:35,760
Have you ever made quince marmalade? I have it makes very good marmalade. Yeah, so etymologically speaking marmalade should be made from quince

446
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,239
Anybody know where we get the word marmalade from?

447
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,000
Well, the myth is it's maria malan, isn't it?

448
00:40:42,159 --> 00:40:42,639
Yeah

449
00:40:42,639 --> 00:40:46,719
Mary queen of scots that mary queen of scots supposedly ate it when she was sick and it was the french

450
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:51,920
She is sick and so they made the marmalade. It's an absolute nonsense. It comes from an old word for quince

451
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,599
It's portuguese marmelo and it's just a just means quince. That's all I told you

452
00:40:55,599 --> 00:40:59,840
We should pay more attention to quinces. I said this earlier. Nobody was listening. Well, I refuse

453
00:41:01,119 --> 00:41:05,360
Uh, jay, why might you not want to be a marmalade madam? I don't like fruit

454
00:41:06,079 --> 00:41:08,079
Yeah

455
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:14,559
What do you reckon marmalade madam you run a brothel and you yes get paid in jam for your hookers

456
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:21,039
Well, you don't run the brothel. You are a prostitute. It was a 17th 18th century. You have to make them toast afterwards

457
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,880
Remember I said quince was an aphrodisiac

458
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:25,440
Oh, yeah

459
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:25,679
Yeah

460
00:41:25,679 --> 00:41:31,119
So it was still believed that it was an aphrodisiac and the young ladies of the night were known as marmalade

461
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,639
I used to live next to a madam of a brothel

462
00:41:35,599 --> 00:41:38,400
She used to tell me which news readers used to come in

463
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,760
They're not telling you oh, yeah

464
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,000
One of them just before he finished go and finally

465
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,719
No

466
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,719
This just in

467
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:57,670
And now showers. Um

468
00:41:58,150 --> 00:42:03,119
God i'm joining in

469
00:42:05,039 --> 00:42:10,480
Which brings us to the belly of the beast the scores. Let's have a quick. Oh, this is very good in first place

470
00:42:10,639 --> 00:42:14,000
Absolutely, marmalizing the competition with six points. It's phil

471
00:42:19,619 --> 00:42:24,690
In second place with two points, it's alan

472
00:42:25,570 --> 00:42:33,829
And in penultimate place making a fantastic debut with minus one prove

473
00:42:34,869 --> 00:42:42,360
Busting a gut yet still in last place with minus 13 joe

474
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:57,239
Phil joe and alan and it's time ladies and gentlemen, please with this quaffing quotation from terry pratchett

475
00:42:57,639 --> 00:43:00,039
There are better things in the world than alcohol

476
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,900
But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them. Cheers

477
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,480
You